481. BE the GIRL ON FIRE - with Cara Alwill

Hi, everyone. I'm so happy you've tuned into the show. Whether you have listened before or you're brand new, I'm so grateful for you. You have no idea. And this episode is brought to you by my Become Aligned course. And podcasts are amazing. And I know that you know that because you guys all listen to them, and I do, too. And sometimes they are not necessarily enough because while we're listening, sometimes we're passively listening and we're not actively listening. So the reason that Chris and I. Chris is my husband. The reason we've created this course is because we get asked so many questions outside of the podcast on how we started living the life that we live now. A life of happiness, of abundance, of really understanding that life is always full of problems every single day, but there's always a solution. And how do we shift back into a mindset that's going to keep us happy, keep us together, keep us successful, and keep us in thriving relationships? And that is what our, our Become Aligned course is about. You guys, we cover everything from mindset to the rituals that we do every single day. We talk about different energy sources that's really gonna provide you with lasting energy. We talk about your purpose and what that actually means, what it is and how it's ever changing. We're gonna tap into your beliefs, we're gonna show you how to build a tribe to support where you're going. And we're definitely going to talk about wealth, abundance, money, all of the good things, and how to sustain all of this. Because while, like I said, POD are absolutely awesome, you don't necessarily sit down and actually write out a plan for yourself. Because as much as I can sit here and tell you on the podcast, what we do and how much, how many different people that I can interview, it's important that you actually learn how to apply these things in your own life. So if you've been listening for a while and you are ready to go deeper and you really want to get some direct training and be able to dive into your life and yourself and your mindset, this is the course for you. I don't know about you, but I absolutely have points in my life where I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I hit walls where I don't necessarily feel happy anymore, and I haven't sat with myself long enough. I haven't really let myself think. I haven't written out how I actually feel. And so many people who took this course said that it was completely life changing and they revealed a lot of things about themselves, about them, about their. About their relationships that they weren't really looking at or they were avoiding. And it's about having those tough conversations, not only with other people, but really with yourself and knowing that you have the tools and the access to the tools. And we're going to teach you all of the tools that you need not only to move through things, but to actually thrive on the other side. So, you guys, I would love for you to join the aligned community. It's such a special group of human beings and you get lifetime time access. This is nine different modules where you're going to be working through each area of your life at your own pace. So you might need something on abundance, you might need more on, you know, money, you might need more on your purpose on your tribe. This is where you can really go deep on exactly what you need and make sure that you're not missing any of your blind spots. If you are feeling stuck or if you are wondering how everyone is doing it and how they're managing it all. This is a truly honest course about how to have a thriving life and manage and deal with all of the different problems that do come up in your life and understand that not everyone is going to support you and not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone. And that's okay. It's finding your people, it's forgiving yourself. It's creating a life of abundance and choosing your own purpose and your happiness. So, you guys, you can go to becomealigned.com that's becomealigned.com and you guys know that because you're listeners, I'm gonna give you an awesome deal and an awesome discount and I cannot wait to see you in that community. And also let me know if you join because it is such an awesome, awesome community. And also I'm really proud of this course. Chris and I poured our heart and our soul into this. Everything that we've done, everything that we've learned, we've invested so much into ourself that this is everything that we have applied in our lives. And if you want to know how we've done it, we put it all on the table. We've put it all in this course. So if you want to know, go check it out@becealigned.com so let's get into the show.

That's the question I ask people when they come to me and say I don't really know what I want to do or which direction I should go in. I want a business, but I don't know what to do. I'm like, what would you do if you never got paid? Because for the first half of my career, I never got paid.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get better, focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Thanks for tuning back into the podcast for real. It's the best. You guys, I'm so grateful we've got a great show for you today because this is one of my friends and she is so freaking awesome. And here's the deal, whenever I get a chance to have a glass of champagne with someone, I'm probably not gonna pass it up. So with this girl just happening to be the creator of the Champagne diet blog, I was like, yes, please, more of that. This is the second time she has been on the podcast and she's one of my favorite people, really just one of the most down to earth. Tell it like it is girls. Girl. Love some workouts, love some champagne, loves writing. Hello. How amazing is that you guys? So Kara Allwell Leyba is a best selling personal development author, mentor to women entrepreneurs and the creator of the Champagne diet blog. She self published eight bestselling books including the worldwide sensation Girl Code which has inspired women around the world to step into their power and fulfill their potential. Her books have been translated into multiple languages. Russian, Chinese, Portuguese, Mongolian and Vietnamese. Her weekly podcast, style your mind, which her podcast rocks you guys, style your mind, go check it out. Has achieved over 6 million unique downloads. As she continues, the conversation started in Girl Code. She has a new book out called Girl on Fire. You are not going to want to miss it. She's been featured in Forbes, Glamour, Shape, Entrepreneur, Success, Cosmo, Marie Claire and many more. We have such an epic conversation for you because here is why, number one, we talk so much about just doing and cutting out the middleman, like going for it, not waiting for someone to anoint you. And the success of our first book being self published and if any of you want to write a book, you cannot miss this episode. And you may just want to write a book after it, I'm telling you. Are you ready for it? All right, guys, I am here to remind you also that you're not going to want to miss the Bliss Project. It is the end of March, the very last weekend of March, in sunny California. I know you're sitting in the cold right now. I know that you're thinking about being warm in the sunshine. I know that you're wishing you had your girl tribe. I know that you wish that you had all of these missing pieces and these people that you could really rely on and count on. And I'm telling you that you need to go to. To The Bliss Project. Theblissproject.info. it is fun. It's recharging. It's going to push you outside of your comfort zone, which is exactly what you need right now. If you're feeling nervous, I'm telling you, go towards the fear. It's where all of your biggest rewards are. Please don't miss it. I'm gonna just talk till I'm blue in the face. And I do not even care, because you need to be at this event. This room has all of the things that you need in it. It's time to connect with people who are going to help you on your. We can't do this alone, guys. So here we go. Let's get started on this epic podcast with Kara. Here we go. Kara, this is so amazing to have you on the show again and celebrating another new book. What does that feel like?

Thank you, Lori. I'm so excited to be back. This is, like, my favorite podcast that I listen to constantly and, like, share constantly. So I love being back with you and your girls. It feels really good to have my ninth book out there. I just. I. It feels really weird. I can't believe it's the ninth one, but it feels the same. But it also feels really different at the same time because I just wrote this in a whole different vibe and a different energy, so I'm pumped.

Okay, so right there, let's just not make this the whole podcast. But I do have to go, like, right there is a full podcast for me because so what you just said, like, you wrote it from a totally different place, like, you're doing it in a completely different way. And I know that we have to go to those places that. To, you know, the places that maybe we don't love or that felt hard or that felt like you're pushing and, you know, getting this thing out into the world in order to understand that there could be a different way. So can you share like the former experience, like with publishers and what it felt like maybe under a deadline or you know, to have to do something a certain way into how you did this book now, like, what are the differences?

Yeah. Okay, so the new book is called Girl on Fire and it is just like, it's really a culmination of my whole journey as an entrepreneur from like start to finish. And I feel like I've really gotten back to the basics with this book and just to kind of backtrack. I mean, this is an 11 year journey, so I'm going to make it really short, as short as possible. But I am like a rejected self published author. That's how I started my writing career. I wanted to write a book so badly my whole life and I finally felt like I had the moment to do it. That was back in 2011, I want to say. And I wrote a book and I pitched it. I had an agent, actually. We pitched it to a lot of publishers and it got rejected 19 times. By 19. I didn't even know 19 publishers existed. I thought there were five. I was like, whoa, just keep, keep it coming. So at that point I was really at a crossroads and I was like, okay, am I going to let these random people just determine my future? Like, I always knew I wanted to be an author. I knew I had stories to tell. Or am I going to step out and do it on my own? And at that time, Seth Godin, who I adore, wrote a blog post called Reject the tyranny of being picked and pick yourself.

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Com.

You'll be glad you did it and everyone listening right now should just make a mental note or write it down. Google the post because it changed my life. It's so short. It's like the most just short and powerful post I've ever read. And it was really at the time when the self publishing industry was changing and really starting to become something of a force in the industry. Amazon owned createspace, which is now kdp. It was making it possible for authors, independent authors, to put their work out there with really no overhead. It's like print on demand service. I went out there and I self published my first book and it was an interesting experience and it was A learning process for me. I had to lay out, figure everything out on my own and really choose myself. And I did it and I just fell in love with the process. And I went on to publish three more books after that. The fourth book being a book called Girl Code, which a lot of people know me for. And for whatever reason, Lori, I don't know, you know how sometimes things just happen in your career and you're like, why is this the one thing that's like resonating with people? I've done so much, but like this was the thing that people were connecting to. Girl Code is out there. It's like putting me on the map. I'm all of a sudden getting asked to speak at events and I'm like, everything's just happening for me and books are flying off the shelves. And I'm approached at this point by a publisher, Penguin Random House came to me and they said, hey, we want to work with you. And they wanted to not only buy the rights to Girl Code and republish it and kind of put it out there and get it in other countries and in bookstores because as a self published author, you're kind of limited when it comes to bookstore sal. And they wanted to do a new book with me that's called like she Owns the Place. That's what it became. And at that point I was like, at this point in my career where I still felt like I wanted to be chosen by someone. Do you know what I mean? Like, I want to be picked. Like I want to be.

Oh yes, I know.

Like I want to be picked.

I resonate want me.

Yeah. And I was still working through this and it was like a dream and I was like, I really struggled because I have to be honest with you, like, like Girl could was my full time salary. That book paid the bills and then some. It was unreal what it was bringing in each month and how many copies it was selling and how many people it was reaching. But I still felt like I had to go through with this dream. And I did. And I've got to tell you, I was really underwhelmed with the experience. And I talk about it all in Girl on Fire. I share everything and I don't mean to say negative things about my publisher. I think it's just the traditional publishing model just didn't work for me, you know, as a, as an independent, like rebellious kind of entrepreneur who wants everything yesterday and like can do a lot of things on her own. I felt like really held back and like slowed down. And you know what it's like when you're putting yourself out there, like, when you're, like, really going hard for yourself. Like, you're getting your own press, things are happening, you're making these connections and building relationships. And I just felt like they just didn't do anything for me. It didn't give me anything I couldn't give myself. And I was like, well, this is it. My friend Noah has a really something. He said once, he's my soul cycle instructor now, turned really dear friend. And he said something in class one day and he was like, what happens when your dreams come true and you don't recognize them? And I was like, oh, my God. I started sobbing on my soul cycle. But it's true, right? I think a lot of us think something out there is going to make us feel like, I made it. And then we get that thing and we're like, I don't feel any different. If anything, I kind of feel like cheated in a way. So when the time came to write Girl on Fire, I was like, I am not working with my publisher again. I'm doing this on my own. I am going back to my roots. I'm going to DIY this thing and I'm going to show people why you don't need to be picked by the gatekeepers, why you don't need a company to tell you that you're good enough to put your work out there. And that's really essentially what the book is all about. And I self published it and it's. It's doing amazing and people are resonating with it and I'm just so grateful.

Oh, my God, Kara, you are so inspiring me right now. Like, we might go back to this podcast and be like, that was the moment. Because I love to write and I'm like, oh, when I have time for all of the things that come with it, I'll do that again. And I'm like, I don't know if my life will ever permit to what I went through with it. You know what I mean? So it's right when you said that, like, it's literally what I even say on the intro of my podcast. Like, anoint yourself. Like, what the. What crap am I waiting for? Like, yeah, so crazy. Yeah, what a. I mean, sometimes you just need someone who's gone through it a ton to be like, look, I did the whole thing. I could. Look, a million people would choose you again, Cara. Like, it's just. It's the truth. Except it's a completely. You. You have to be up for all the things that come with that and that come with having to put yourself into the place to get chosen, you know, so it's so interesting. So I really want to dive into that top of everybody's, not everyone, many are waiting to be chosen.

Why?

What does, what does that mean? And how do we start to free ourselves of, you know, choosing our ourselves and seeing how there is a choice to choose yourself in everything that you actually are going for?

Such a good question. And I am obsessed with this topic because I've lived it and I see everyone around us living it. I see the most successful people that I look up to still wanting to be chosen. So I did a lot of research for this book and I spoke to a lot of people and I read a ton and I just really kind of like, just like I was diving into this whole concept. And I really think that the reason people still want to be chosen is because there is just this deep rooted fear that we're not enough, everyone, especially successful women. Research shows that it's more common in successful women suffer from imposter syndrome. And that's basically the feeling of like being a fraud. It's feeling like one day you're going to be found out. One day someone is going to come and say, oh, she's not a writer, she's not a real author, she's not a poet, she's not a fashion designer. Whatever we are putting ourselves out there as. And almost everyone struggles with it. It's like something like 80% of women admit to struggling with being an imposter and feeling like an imposter. So I think we look to be chosen because we feel like we have backup. It's like, oh, someone else is on my team. So I'm really, I'm truly an author now. I actually couldn't call myself an author for years. Like, I still cringe when I would say it for some reason up until a couple of years ago. So it's something we need to work through. And I think it's just getting the confidence to put ourselves out there and realize, like you said, anoint yourself. I always say, crown yourself. That's actually the second chapter in the book. Not waiting. I was actually waiting to go to my spin class a couple weeks ago and one of the girls was, she was, you know, we were chatting and I was telling her what I do and I said I was an author proudly, finally could say it. And she's like, oh, I always wanted to write a book. I have all these stories to tell. And I said, okay. I said, well, what are you waiting for? She's like, I don't know. I was like, have you written anything yet? And she's like, yeah, like, I'm starting to write. And I'm like, well, you're an author. You're doing it. Like, you just have to take it into your own hands. And I think a lot of us are afraid. We don't want to be rejected. We don't want someone to tell us we're not good enough. But really, when you look around, there are people who are further along than we are, or anyone listening is. Or maybe they've had more opportunities, not because they're more talented, not because they're more experienced, because they just got started. So the sooner you can free yourself of this need to be picked and chosen, the sooner you can put yourself out there, the sooner you will experience a really fulfilled life and career.

All right, sister, but how do we get rid of this when we. Okay, so I had the same thing with the author thing. Like, oh, my God. And it might be because we can get these stories or take these things personal, like, these moments burned into our mind. Like, I've said I'm an author to someone, and they were like, how many books have you written? I said, one. They're like, oh. Huh?

Like, yeah. Meanwhile.

Oh, you said you're an author.

Totally.

They totally weren't. Except that one moment. You know, I'm like, oh, my God, I can't believe I told them I'm an author and I've only written one book. And it's like these crazy moments that we are afraid of what other people are thinking. Or, here's the other one with like, okay, I'm gonna be super just, like, honest. And I'm guessing that you went through the same thing if you went through traditional publishing. I. And I don't regret it, because there was a part of me that needed it in order to go through what I went through. That when I was, you know, deciding what I wanted to do, everyone was like, why don't you just self publish? Like, you know, you can get your book out. You might make more money, all of these things. And there was a part of me that just, like, really felt like, oh, my God, I'm not gonna truly be an author, or I won't. It's not real unless I'm actually picked by a publisher. Like.

Like, I needed that validation.

I was so worried about other people's opinions. So can we skip over that, or is that an important Part of our journey.

I actually felt the same way. And I think that's why I did it. I think that's why I went through with the process. And I have to tell you, like, it didn't feel any different. If anything, I felt like I was now in a system that I really had no control over. And I think choosing myself and self publishing allows me. And this goes for anyone, right? You don't have to be a writer. This could go for anything in your career. Anyone who's listening right now. When you choose yourself, you have total control over your career. You call the shots, you are making the decisions. You know what's best for you. No one's ever going to work as hard for you as you're going to work for yourself. And I learned that when it came to publishing, especially when it came to PR and all of these different things that I thought were going to happen, right? I thought I was going to be a New York Times bestseller. I thought I was going to be on all these morning shows. Like, none of that happened. I realized I was like, wow, okay. Why was I thinking that all of this stuff was going to be like this magical gateway to success when in reality it was supposed to happen the way that it had always been happening with me in control, doing what I want to do. And I think, listen, self publishing is not for everybody by any stretch. There are a lot of people who don't want to be bothered. They can wait, they have patience, they want someone else to run the show for them. But I think a lot of entrepreneurs really do want to do things on their own and they want that control. So for me, maintaining that sense of. Of empowerment in my career is really, really important in whatever I'm doing.

There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.

One of them for you.

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I especially after just publishing, there's so many. I can see this through line in so many things that, you know, even right down to I used to dream of somebody picking me to speak on their stage and that was not happening at all. So I was like, all right, how do I start making my own, you know, stages so that I can start speaking and getting out there? And it's so funny because just like with your book, you self publish and then it gets popular and then you get noticed sometimes it's so opposite of what we think. And I started speaking, I started doing this, you know, I started running this event, I started doing all these little events. And then all of a sudden people were like, oh, she's doing something. She's out there. She is a speaker. And then I started getting chosen for all of these different stages. So a lot of people are like, how did you get on stage? How did you get on these other stages? And I was like, because I had to create my own stage to show that I was a speaker. I had to choose to be a speaker before I could be a speaker. And I think that's in. So do you see that in so many different areas in people's lives.

Oh my God, so much. I say this to all my clients who want to do things like that. I'm like, you need to create events. You need to like make your own panel. Like do your own meetup. Like do things on your own if you want people to take you seriously as that nobody really pays attention either. Like, I think we think in our heads, someone is going to be on Amazon looking at who the publisher of my book is. Someone is going to like ask who produced my event or who gave me the idea for my podcast. It's like, no, no one really cares. They just care that you're showing up and that you're stepping up to the plate and that you are confident enough to put yourself out there. So I love that you did that, Lori. And I think that's such a great takeaway for everyone listening. Create your own opportunities. Most successful people, they don't wait for a big break. That's the whole theme of this book, right? Like, not waiting for the big break, creating the opportunities for yourself, whatever they are, and knowing that it's going to be a journey. It's going to be a long road. I've been doing this 11 years. I'm sure you've been doing what you're doing for a long, long time as well. But you have to embrace it all. And as cliche as it sounds, you have to be along for the ride and be willing to really just enjoy each moment and realize that the sooner you, like I said earlier, the sooner you can put yourself out there, the sooner you will have those successes and those moments where you're like, I'm actually doing it. I'm really here. I'm showing up. You know, I'm having the success. And at the end of the day, it's about impact, right? Like, it's not about who chooses you to speak on a stage. It's about how many people you can affect with your words and your message.

I can't tell.

Like, I.

If I could look through all of the women that I adore and share journeys with. Like, I, I did not even realize. I knew that we shared a lot of our journey, but so much of our journey has been similar, but just in even different aren, like in, in the fitness world for me, like, I think people think that, you know, you, you get chosen for these different fitness things or for these layouts or for these covers. And I was like, man, I can't even tell you how many times I had to, like, beg, borrow, like, just pitch myself so hard and create different. I had to create things in different platforms in order for them to even remotely start paying attention. And then when I actually got the things, I was like, or, or when I finally landed them, I was like, wow, this just isn't what I expected. And even from those things, you then have to create your opportunities. So even when you landed your publishing deal, I bet you had no idea how many opportunities you actually had to go and create for yourself after that.

Oh, my God, totally. And just to backtrack about the platform thing, I just want to say one thing about that because I think it's interesting that you point that out. When I first tried to get my first book deal back in 2011. And the one thing I heard, the rejection, the main kind of, I guess, thing that people were sort of like, worried about is like, you don't have a big enough platform. Who are you? Nobody knows who you are. So I made it my business to make my platform so powerful and so large that I would never be determined by a metric. My worth would never be determined by a metric like that again. And I put myself in a position that no one could ever say anything to me about the size of my platform, because all that mattered was that I was touching people and I was affecting people, and I owned it. It was min. It was genuine. It was something that I built. So just to your point, I think we sort of think, oh, I need more followers or I need a blue check mark on Instagram or I need this or I need that. And it's all just bs if you can just focus on serving people and serving as many people as you can with quality content, I think that that's really, like, the key. It's not about doing it for the book deal or doing it for the magazine cover. It's just doing it. What's your. Why. Why are you even showing up in the first place?

Mm, it's crazy because sometimes you can get started. I remember the moment. It's really funny. I was looking at my vision board and I was looking at all these covers that were up, and I had this moment where of, like, getting rejected for the zillionth time from fitness magazines three years in a row, right? Of being very, very diligent. And I was staring at my vision board and I threw myself on my bed, like, crying like a full on adult temper tantrum.

And I've had those, many of them.

And you know how you, like, get tired from it. You're like, this is exhausting. Nobody's even around. So you, like, kind of get sick of your own shit. So you have this moment of like, I had that moment. And I was like, okay, this isn't doing anything and I'm tired. Like, I've wailed enough out loud to no one. And I was like, oh, my God, I have to just, like, go. I'm like, what do I actually want? And I was like, I want commute. I want to lead a community. It's what my soul, like, really wants. And I was. I was like, what are you waiting for? Like, these people aren't gonna anoint you. This is what literally came through. It was like, these people aren't gonna anoint you. Worthy to go and be a leader, you have to go and do this yourself. And it was when I actually let go that it was only like six months later that I was like, hey, look at what I'm doing. Like, I created these communities. Like, what do you think? And when I sent that email again, like, you know, I'm like, I'm gonna do this all over again. I was like, but I didn't feel attached. I was like, you know what, I don't even give a shit. Because now it's like, you do, but you also are like, but I'm doing the thing. I'm good enough. Like, I just, I was like, I'm good enough. I don't need this. So it was almost a little bit of anger actually attached to it, but at the same time it was like it was the next step of releasing, like from being in their prison of thinking I needed them.

It's so true. And I love that you brought that up because listen, there are moments where you do need people to help you. I am at the point now where I'm looking to get my foreign rights managed and represented for this book for Girl on Fire. I want it to be translated in as many languages as possible. And I just don't have the bandwidth or the connections to reach out to all those people, right? So I want someone, I want to find the right match, I want to find the right agent to help me do them. Putting it out there in the universe. But my self worth and my idea of success is not dependent on whether or not I land those deals. And I think that's something else to point out. You have to choose yourself first so that you can detach from it, so that you can experience success on your own terms. And then the rest is just like the cherry on top. Like if somebody wants to come along and help me, that's great. But I am not going to wait to do things until somebody shows up.

Oh, okay. That is what you just said there is. So that's the key. It's the, like you said, choosing yourself first so that you can detach. And because that energy is what people feel, it's like they, oh my God, they literally know you write the email differently. You write in such a much more confident, like energetic tone even that people want to be a part of it when you are have already chosen you. They want to choose you.

Yes. And you know what's so interesting? I don't know if you feel this way, but I for sure do. When I first started my journey with a blog and nothing more. In 2008, I was so fearless, like I was just doing the damn thing. No one was paying attention, so I was doing whatever I wanted. I was so excited every day. I was just showing up, putting myself out there. And as soon as I started to get a little bit more notoriety, more success, more eyes on me. I would say probably after Girl code, I started to almost like feel like, okay, now I have to go to this next level. And all of a sudden I was getting nervous and I was feeling overwhelmed and I felt like people were watching me. So recently, I would say within the past year I really went back to basics and I really started drawing on that inspiration from The Kara of 2008, who didn't give shit what anyone thought, who just showed up, who just did it. And I think that that's an important thing to share for anyone who's listening now who's just starting out, like, go for it. Nobody is probably paying that much attention as you think they are. So you have the room to just try things and you just put yourself out there and choose yourself and relish in those moments of like, you know, just being in the room with maybe like 10 other people at a meetup or something. Like, it's so special. And I think that's where that like tenacity comes in. And you're going to draw upon that as your career progresses and as you become more and more successful and put yourself out there to more people, like you're going to need those, that foundation and those moments where you were just fearlessly doing it.

Oh my God, that's so true. So tell me about what burning the rulebook is this about past stories? Why do we need to burn the rule book in order to move forward?

Okay, so I'm a coach. I am a certified professional life coach, master life coach. I've got every certification under the sun. It's something that I'm passionate about. I love helping women. But I will tell you, when I first put myself out there into the world of coaching, into the world of writing, I started to, to see a lot of, I think very well meaning people putting out blueprints and roadmaps and courses and webinars and all of these things of like, this is how to achieve success. I saw a lot of fear based marketing going on in my industry. I saw a lot of people kind of like declaring that there was one way to do social media, there was one way to do newsletters, there was one way to write books. And it just kind of pissed me off. And I'm like, you know what? I don't think there's one way to do anything. I think my job is to empower my girls to do things in a way that feel good to them. I want everybody that comes across my path, whether it's through a book or a coaching experience or a workshop, to feel like they have the freedom to do things in a way that feels right for them. They can take pieces from what's working for other people. But I see so many women just paralyzed with fear, feeling like they don't have enough to get started, feeling like they're going to do it wrong, like they're going to mess it up somehow. So the idea of burning the rulebook is really just about really figuring out what works for you. I do business in a very unconventional way. The way that I have done things from day one has been very different than most. And it's because I've always just trusted my intuition. And anytime that I've taken advice from the outside that I felt like I don't know if this is going to work for me, it didn't work for me. I've really learned to fine tune that intuitive voice and really fine tune my ability to listen to that voice in me and to trust her and to know that she knows what I need, she knows what's going on. It's almost like there's these two selves. There's like the self that's out there in the world chatting with people and listening to things. And there's the inner self that's like, no, you got this. I know exactly what you need to do next. Shut the hell up. Stop listening to everybody else and just get to work. So I think just allowing yourself that freedom is just so powerful and will completely change your life and your career like, like a thousand times over.

Do you have a voice right now that's going on that you are, you know what, what's the confident voicing and what's the, you know, the other one? Oh, my God.

That's an amazing and timely question. Because I've had a voice lately that's telling me what's next. Like, maybe you've done it all. Like, maybe that's it. Maybe you're at your capacity. Maybe it's time to just do something different. Maybe it's time to go back to work. Maybe it's time to switch gears. Like, I really have had this weird feeling in me lately, and I know it's not real. I know it's fear based. I know it's coming from a place of, like, maybe not being clear, maybe being a little bit insecure. I don't know, like, just being totally transparent. I'm not really sure where it's coming from, but it's there. And I've had to beat that voice down with the stick. And it's funny because today is like, Women's Entrepreneurship Day, which is so funny that we're recording this podcast on this day.

I didn't even know. Oh, my God. Celebrate Women's Day.

Yes.

So I wanted to do like a cute post, just like an inspirational post on Instagram. And I started collecting photos from my journey, from all the places that I've been, all the people I've met, all the opportunities that I've created. And I got really emotional looking at those pictures. And I was like, okay, you have just gotten started. You are not done. You don't need to go get a job. You don't need to be, you know, go backwards. You don't need to shift into something new. Like, you're doing what you really truly want to do. You're doing what your soul wants you to do. You just need to stay tapped in. You need to keep listening. You need to keep trusting that next step. You need to kind of trust even when you don't know what the next step is going to be. So it's just like, really, like, taking the time. And I think everyone right now who's hearing this should think about everything that they've accomplished so far and use that as fuel. Like, I don't look at anyone else's journey for inspiration. I look at my own journey and I'm like, okay, you've been around the world. You've literally been to Tokyo. You've been to London, Paris, like, everywhere, and had women there who have told you your book has changed their life. Why do you feel small? Why do you still feel small? And I have to have that conversation with myself, like, on a daily basis. And I'm honest about that. It is a day to day operation, trying to keep my head above and like, stay confident. And a lot of people don't believe me when I say that, but I think it's important to share, you know, it. I think the difference between me and someone else is that I don't get stuck there. I keep moving. But it's. It's present and it's something that I really need to pay attention to.

Oh, I love that you shared that because that was actually me in end of last year. You know, all your kind of what Your Soul cycle instructor was saying, like, are you gonna, you know, see your dreams when they're. When they're happening? And I was in my dream, and I was kind of like, it didn't really totally feel like a dream at the same time, because it was very. You know, I. I think sometimes we can be in our dream, but it can be. There can be a couple tweaks that need to be made. So, you know, like, for me, some things I needed to pay attention to because I had that voice, too. I was like, am I at my peak? Is this. It is. What do I do after this? I have no. Can I keep doing this? Can I keep showing up?

Oh, my God, I look chilled.

Can I keep learning? Like, I just was like, oh, my God. I just didn't even know if I was interested, to be honest. It felt, like, too much. Like, it felt too big. I didn't. You know, I was like, there's all these young people coming out. Things are changing so fast. Like, I just didn't know. All the voice said anything and everything. And I had a couple moments where I was like, just like you. Where I was like, you know what? I'm so good at this. And because. And I enjoy it. Like, this is amazing to be able to do these types of things in people's lives. And I thought, but where am I, like, not fulfilled? And it was. I'm lonely. I isolate myself too much. I'd like to do more things together. So I started looking at that, like, how can I do more things with other women doing the same thing as me? So it's not an isolated journey. And then the other thing was, I want to keep doing what I'm doing, bringing women together, but I think I want to do it through a product. Like, I think I want to back away from the spotlight for a little bit and do more of, like, marketing and different things around a product. And I was like, huh, Same thing. Just needed a couple tweaks. So I so feel you. I just. You just need to sit in that question for a really long time and give yourself a lot of white space, extra white space for the next answer to come through. But, man, isn't that. It's uncomfortable, isn't it? Like, because you feel crazy.

You do. And this is why I love you, Lori. Because every time we talk, we have these. These really honest conversations, and I don't think enough people are having them. And I think that's creating a feeling in our industry that, like, it's shameful to say that I maybe don't know what's next for me. Or like, everybody around me at least is like, I know what my plan is for 2020. I have my goals. I have my income goals. I know where I want to be. I've got a vision board. And I'm like, I don't know. Like, I'll figure it out.

That's exactly where I was showing up to our masterminds, Kara. And I was like, I literally. They were like, so, so. And every time someone goes, so, what's next for you? And I sat there and I was like, I don't know. And I'm comfortable with saying, I don't know. You couldn't even make me make a vision board right now because all that would be on there is like a big plate of spaghetti and a glass of champagne. Like, that's what's next for me. And it actually part of it felt good.

Well, you know what, though? I have to be honest with you, I think that that's actually a very healthy attitude to have. And this is where I've gotten. This is how I've sort of like, reconciled a whole question for myself. When I first started, I did not know. And I have been led down the most beautiful, insane, wild, brilliant, fulfilling path that I could have ever imagined. Things have happened for me that I would never have planned for, that I would never even think to put on a vision board. So I think it's a gentle balance between knowing your mission and showing up to the work every single day, but also leaving, like you said, room for the question mark. Leaving that space for things to happen for you. Leaving that space for opportunities to arise or people to come into your life that maybe shake things up and give you a different perspective. I think when you're too focused on a very specific goal, it can kind of like blind you to every other opportunity that could be for you.

Hey, guys, this is the perfect spot to take a break because I. I have to tell you some exciting news. Our famous FAST Foundations Mastermind is open again for enrollment. This is a mastermind that my husband, Chris Harder and I put on for entry level early stage entrepreneurs. And this is the only way to be able to work with Chris and I together in a room, in person. I can promise you that this is literally one of the best masterminds out there for half the price. But I want you to listen in to some of these transformations that happen when you are in the room. And you guys know if you listen to this podcast that I always tell you, just show up for yourself and get your butt in the room. So listen into these. My name is James Dunn and Fast Foundations gave me a family of like minded entrepreneurs that I know I can count on for support, for guidance and to help get me through any challenge I'll ever run into in my business.

My name is Leanne and Fast Foundations showed me a step by step roadmap.

And a process to implement into my business immediately.

And I saw measurable results, results right away.

My name is Alex street and Fast Foundations helped me build my first course and confidently now do what I'm made for. Okay, so here's the deal. All of those breakthroughs that you just heard, none of those people felt ready to be in that room. And I know you're sitting here thinking, I'm not even sure if I'm there yet. But let me tell you, if you make less than 499,000 a year, we want to lock arms with you to make your, your business explode and make you feel confident in all of the areas that you don't yet feel confident in. And I will tell you as an entrepreneur, you never feel ready. You never ever feel ready. It's all about taking that leap and showing up for yourself. So over the next five and a half months, we want to lock arms with you. And spots are super limited. So go over to fastfoundations.com right now because we want to work with you, you, we want you in this room. And as you can hear from the transformation, it is your turn now to have that same experience. So let's get back to the interview. This is 1 million percent where I'm at right now. I'm leaving a lot of space. And what's been happening is that I've gotten extra space to think and the extra space that I have left has been getting filled in with miracles. Like, I'm not kidding you, it's it, it would have been consumed by either another appointment or something that I would have put in there and I would not have had room for a couple invitations recently that have come through. And they've come through. Like, I'm like, who sends invitations only two weeks before something? But they're like the biggest things that are like freaking potentially life changing. And I'm like, I would have never had room for this if I would have booked myself the way that I used to book myself.

Yes, it's so important. It's so important to leave that space. I love it. And I think it takes a lot of trust and I think a lot of people are afraid to Trust that something is going to come. And it's really hard. It's really hard when you're planning financially because you don't know what's going to happen next. It's really hard when you're planning from a scheduling standpoint. But you have to just be open and you have to just be willing to say yes to a lot of things. I kind of personally, first half of my career was yes to everything. Then I got so over yes to that. I was saying no to everything. And now I'm just starting to say yes again. And it feels really good to be in this space just to be so open and be like, you know what, you never know what's going to happen from a conversation. And just like you, I can tend to isolate myself. It's tough when you're working alone, you know, Like, I have a girl that I work with who's like an online business manager for me. She's remote and then that's it. And it's me and my husband in this department all day. And he works from home as well right now, so. So it can feel really lonely. But saying yes to those dinner dates, saying yes to those events, saying yes to those coffee dates, champagne dates, whatever. And just like really opening myself up to different people is something that I think has really helped me and is continuing to help me. Because we can't go that far alone. You know, you have to like, have the connection and the human touch to be able to like, take yourself to that next level.

Yes. Is there anything in your life right now that you need to give yourself a little more permission around or if you could, like, if you could, if your life would exponentially change if you gave yourself this permission, what would that be?

Oh my God, such a good question. I need to continue to give myself permission to change my mind about things and not feel like I'm a fraud or like I'm wrong or like someone's gonna not take me, me seriously. Because I share a lot. Like I share everything that I'm going through and I change my mind a lot. And I think we all have the right to change our mind. Whenever something doesn't feel good and we want to shift into something that feels better, we should do it. But I see myself as a leader and I never want someone to think like, I'm wishy washy or that like, I've now changed my stance on something, but that's who I am and that's the kind of girl that I am. And I'm always taking in New information. And I'm evolving rapidly. So giving myself permission to change my mind about things and do it unapologetically is something I personally really want to work on.

I so relate to that. I'm just thinking about when we were, when I was. Or when Chris and I were really starting to transform and whatever up level change our lives. His poor mom could not keep up with us because she never knew if we were drinking or not drinking or like what we were eating or like what we were doing or thinking or what she should talk because we were like changing so rapidly. We're like, yeah, yeah, we're not doing that anymore.

It's totally me. And you feel crazy, right? You feel like, oh God, am I nuts? But I think it's just we are working on ourselves constantly and we're always in the space of personal development and professional development and like, sadly, like most of the world is not. Like a lot of people are just okay with the sad. And again, like bringing it back to Girl on Fire, this book, like, that's what I like talk about. Like, you should be challenging the status quo. You should be doing things that are uncomfortable for other people and sometimes like, it's only you that gets it. And I think being okay with the fact that it's only you that gets it is major because if you're spending your time waiting for approval or polling everyone around you to have them on board, you're going to be waiting forever.

I'm so glad that you said that because I truly think that's what I believe that that is we should just completely change what the definition of authenticity is. Because I really believe that it is being true to your truth on that day and letting it be okay if it wasn't your truth yesterday and letting it be okay if it's not your truth tomorrow.

I love that. Can you like post that somewhere and I'm gonna share it because that is so powerful and I think that that is so liberating for so many people. Like just owning it. Be like, this is how I feel today and I'm going to own it. And I think we're in a culture now, especially with social media, where people can go back to Your posts from 6 months ago or a year ago and question you on things and everything is out there and it's so good that everything is out there and we can share, but at the same time, we're held to this really insane standard of living where we're not allowed to make mistakes all of a sudden, or we're not Allowed to change our mind, or someone is going to, like, you know, question you on whatever it is that you're doing or saying or thinking, and it's just not healthy. It's not healthy for our growth. I think we should be able to grow without limits, and we should be able to grow without, like, a peanut gallery around us. Comment on what we're doing. It's just not normal.

Oh, my God. I totally agree. And if you can say I was wrong or I'm sorry, then you have the right to do whatever. Like, go try all the things. I think it's when we are afraid to ever be wrong.

Wrong.

And if you're afraid to be wrong, you'll never want to grow. Right? You'll be so afraid.

It's so true. You know, this happens. It's funny, this happens to me. I talk a lot about alcohol and health and wellness and my relationship with that. And I love my wine and champagne. You know that we've had champagne together. We love it. But, like, every so often I wanted to take a break and I'm like, okay, I'm going to do, like a month without wine, or I'm going to do this and I'll share it and I talk about it. And sometimes I'll get through, like, two weeks. Like, yeah, I don't know. I went to dinner and I really just wanted some wine, and I had a great night with my mom, and we drank all night and we had the best time ever. And I'll get people who write to me sometimes. They're like, I thought you were doing a month without alcohol. And I was doing it, too, because you were doing it. And it's like, whoa. Like, everyone should be empowered to do what works for them. And I think there's a lot of pressure sometimes on people who are, like, in, you know, a social media sort of spotlight, if you will, or they're sharing very vulnerably. Like, we're not experts, we're not gurus. We're just people who are sharing and trying to inspire people along the way. And I think that it's really tricky when you base your own lifestyle or choices on what somebody else is doing. I think it's okay to be inspired by people, but it's very dangerous when you're basing your choices on someone else's choices.

I've done that so many times, especially even just with the whole drinking thing, because I'm like, no, I shouldn't, I should, I shouldn't. And then I'm like, what am I Actually, like, what feels good? What if I took off like, these. Whether it's alcohol or whatever it is, working out in a certain way or. Yeah. Food or doing classes for this many days. I'm like, when your goal starts to feel like, sometimes the discipline can feel like freedom, but all of a sudden, sometimes it can. When it starts to feel, like, restriction of what actually feels good. And I don't think you can understand that until you've done it a few times and you're like, like, okay, this actually doesn't feel good. This is keeping me from having fun with my mom right now or from, like, going all in on this relationship where, you know, I could really invest this time with her and this is what she wants to do. Like, kind of really learning how to weigh everything. But I think that takes a little bit, right? Like, you gotta figure that out.

Oh, yeah. And it takes, like, really redefining your relationship with guilt, you know? Like, I think for the longest time, like, I felt guilty over everything I did or didn't do. And I'm a recovering people pleaser, and I lived a big portion of my life trying to make everybody happy and feeling badly if I did something that maybe I changed my mind or was going to let someone else down. And I think that there's a balance, right? It's not like we want to be reckless and hurt anyone or do something totally recklessly. But I think when it comes to your own life choices, if you can just let go of the guilt. And like you said earlier about authenticity, this is what I'm choosing to do now. And this feels good now. And I'm not hurting anyone. I am just literally focusing on myself. That is it. And my own happiness and my own growth. I went to a conference once. This was years ago when I first was putting my toes out into the personal development world. And I wish I could remember the speaker because she was so good. And she started off by saying, what would happen if you dropped the struggle? And I was like, oh, my God. And she was talking about weight and her body and body positivity, and she'd been up and down and kind of always trying to lose weight. She's like, what would happen if you drop. Dropped the struggle? And I was like, oh, my God. Like, that was powerful for me. We put ourselves in a mode of struggle for no reason sometimes, and we torture ourselves over our choices. Like, what would happen if we just said, this is the choice I'm making right now. And again, it's not hurting anyone. It's not Gonna, like, hurt me. It's just a simple choice I'm making, and I feel good about it right now in this moment. And if it wasn't what I chose yesterday, that's okay.

Man, that is so good. Especially as we just approach, you know, a season where you are a lot more social, just hearing. Hearing the conversation in your head around certain things, like if you enjoyed yourself or if you are enjoying yourself, you don't have to make it bad the next day. Like, you could actually choose to just release that and get back into your groove, you know?

Yep.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so I want to know what this means. Be a best case scenario girl.

Okay. So do you ever notice, I know that I've done this for sure so many times. Like, coaches, when you think about something that you maybe are waiting to happen or wanting to happen, I think we default to the worst case scenario. You really are looking forward to something like a vacation. And you're like, oh, my God, what if it rains? What if it's terrible weather? What if nobody shows up to my book signing? What if. Whatever. We default to the worst case scenario. And I've just started to really flip the script on that and ask myself, what is the best thing that could happen? What if everything goes right? What if I get what I want? I think you really shift the way that you enter experiences when you can think about the best case scenario. And I've had this happen to many of my clients. I had a client. I wrote about this in the book. I had a client who. She's a nurse practitioner, and she runs a really busy office, medical office, and she was working basically seven days a week. And I told her, what if you just took Fridays off? She's like, no, I never do that. I could never take a Friday off. I'm like, okay, well. Well, how is it serving you to work on Fridays right now when you really want to be doing these other things? She's like, it's not serving me. I'm like, okay, so what's the worst thing that could happen if you take Fridays off? And she's like, well, what if I lose patience? And what if people are mad at me or I can't help someone? And I'm like, okay, I hear you. But what is the best thing that could happen? Let's talk about the best case scenario. And she's like, wow, I would feel so rested and I'd be able to go to my other home and I could study because she's studying for her PhD. So, long story. Short. She wound up taking Fridays off, and it was like the best thing she ever did for herself. And she feels so good now and so fulfilled. So I think, like, we can all sort of relate to this. Like, what if the best thing happens? Like, listen, if it doesn't work out, you'll deal with that later. But why spend all of that time in between stressing and worrying and imagining the worst possible thing happening when we all know that we create our reality with our thoughts? Thoughts. Right. That's like kind of like Universal Laws 101. So if you're actively creating the best case scenario, chances are that's what's going to happen.

That is so true and so beautiful. And it shifts your focus immediately. And just like you said, you get what you. You find what you're looking for. You find what you're focusing on for sure. A million times. Okay, so I love this because I've been saying this a lot lately and I saw it in your book. So I want to expand on this because I think this is powerful and it's. What are you available for? That's been such a powerful thing for me to say to myself lately is like, even if it's like, you know, maybe a triggering conversation in a group or a family member or something, I'm like, I'm not available for that. Like, I'm just not going to be accessible or available for this conversation or for those feelings or whatever that is. So can you expand on just what are you available for?

Yeah. So we only have a certain amount of energy every day, right, to give to people, to focus on our lives and our thoughts and our, you know, whatever we're going through. So I have taken up this habit of every morning and I asked myself, what am I available for today? And what am I unavailable for today? So I might be available for, you know, magic. I might be available for incredible surprises. I might be available for a peaceful flow. I might be available for, like, great conversation. And then when I'm. Whatever I'm unavailable for is whatever I don't want to invite into my world. So maybe it was like the thoughts that I had yesterday that really stressed me out. Or maybe it's just like that negative, you know, person that texts me all day that I just can't possibly, like, respond to anymore. Like, whatever it is, it's just like setting the tone basically for the way that you want to live your life. And I think so many of us tend to live on autopilot and we tend to just be reactive all the Time, like whatever's happening, we're just reacting to it. But if you take a step back and just ask yourself, like, what do I have the energy for saying? What don't I have the energy for for today? It helps you kind of just manage your energy and it manages like the, the things that you allow yourself to become involved with.

So good. And it's such a great question because it really also just kind of makes you realize like you are the person choosing to be available. You're choosing. Yeah, absolutely. It is all you. And sometimes, you know, that might feel like, oh my God, it's all me. But if we can have that like grace around, Wait, this is so powerful that it's me. So in your life right now, what are you like, you know, we have 2020 coming up. What are you feeling as far as just what's exciting, what's fun, what's not fun right now?

I love that. Well, what's fun for me is just continuing to physically connect with people and show up to people and hug someone and have a conversation with someone. I really want to focus on getting out there and doing more events and more book signings and speaking engagements, being in rooms with people who want to grow and want to learn and want to change. And I think there's such an incredible energy around women who are to able in that space. So that's really fun for me. What's not fun is spending too much time thinking and being on social media and I'm really trying to limit my time that I spend on there and it's tough because we run our businesses a lot on social media and I have to be there and I want to engage and I want to give everyone attention and be grateful for my community and I love them so much. But it can be a slipping slope and it can be kind of a time suck for me. So managing that relationship and trying to focus on more like in real life connections and using social media as a tool to let people know about events and maybe to share things that I'm working on or share inspiration, but really just stepping back and focusing on actual experiences and real life experiences. Because nothing great ever happened in front of Instagram. There was no great idea that ever came to me in front of my keyboard. It's always when I'm out living and when I'm out having like a real human connection with someone.

Well, I'm so available for connection and events. So we'll just put that out there. Yes, we'll just put that out as an intention in 2020. Some sort of event or connection or something?

Yes, yes.

Okay, so what is the, like when you write a book, you kind of can. You kind of don't know what you're going, what the, what what's going to be like, what people are going to grab onto or even sometimes like what the theme that you really start loving and talking about with the book. So for you, what is something that you are like loving that is coming through the book when people read it?

You know, I think the theme of just choosing yourself, it's the first chapter, but it's really the, like the whole theme of the book. I go into depth and even following chapter about it, but that's it. I can't even tell you. Responses I get have made me cry. They have literally brought tears to my eyes because it's these women who are telling me as soon as I read the first chapter, Kara, I was ready to go out there and move and start doing things. I think that's like, for me, that's the goal. I don't want somebody to read about my life and be like, wow, she's really inspiring. No, I want you to move and I want you to do things for your life and yourself and your career. And I want you to feel inspired to put everything you're reading into action. Every single chapter. I have questions, I have exercises, I have tools that you can use and start applying immediately to your own life and your own business. I think that's really the main thing, just letting people know it's possible to get out there and do things your way. My favorite question to ask people is, what would you create if you had nothing holding you back? Most of the time the only thing holding us back are our own thoughts. So just watching people start to make that shift and hearing from them that like, okay, I'm doing it. So many of my readers are like multi passionate and they have many, many passions and they want to be entrepreneurs and they're so afraid to shift in their business and maybe explore something new. And they're afraid because someone has told them, like, oh, well, you need a specific niche and you can't confuse your audience and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, no, you should explore everything. If you're gifted with multiple passions, it's your responsibility to go out there and explore them all and share them all with the world. Otherwise I think you're actually being selfish. You're holding that back from somebody who that could really impact for the better.

So good. So where can we get your book we can get on Amazon.

Yeah. So Amazon is the best place to grab it now. The ebook is out, the paperback back is out, and the audiobook should be out in December.

Oh, my God, so exciting. And by the way, literally, when I saw this cover, this is going to be the funniest comment, but you'll totally get it. I was like, did she self publish this? Because I'm obsessed with this cover and it's usually like, you don't normally get to have the COVID you want when you publish. So I'm always like, wait, this cover is amazing.

Thank you.

All your stuff is amazing. But I literally. That's what I thought because I was like, I love it. Like, it just felt so like you. So anyway, yeah, you got to see the benefits of self publishing. Like, you just get to have it be all you like, your whole heart out there. You guys go get this book. It is so incredible. Every single topic in here are things that I'm dealing with in my life. Like, these are things that you go back to over and over again no matter where you're at. And Kara, I have, I have a question because this is the question that I, I asked myself when I was in the position that you were. You were in. But here's what I asked myself every day. Mine took me a long time to answer, so no stress. But it was kind of off of the question that you said that you asked people. And I said, if I had all of the money in the world, like, if I was, you know, multi billionaire and I had all of the time in the world, what would I, like, any talent that I wanted, like, there's no, there's nothing blocking me from doing anything. What would that be? Would I be a designer? Would I be, you know, what would I be doing? What would I have in the world? So what is that thing for you?

Honestly, I would be doing exactly what I'm doing right now. I know that sounds crazy, but I really would, like, I would just be doing it on a bigger scale. I would be on a plane as often as I could. I would be like, hosting huge events. I would be, you know, like, I would have a massive team that could help me keep up with things. I would amplify what I'm doing, but I would really do this. I love it. And, you know, I love that you said that because that's the question I ask people when they come to me and say, I don't really know what I want to do or which direction I should go in. I want a business. But I don't know what to do. I'm like, what would you do if you never got paid? Because for the first half of my career, I never got paid. From 2008 until around 2012, I didn't make any money. I was just blogging and sharing and writing. So it wasn't until I started writing books and coaching that I really started to pick up steam and be able to make it into a job. But I would just do this times a million.

Oh, I love hearing that. That is amazing. Okay, so I always ask one last question.

Question.

You've probably answered this now. I don't. I don't know how many times. I'm like, how many times have you been on here?

Let's see.

Hopefully many, many more. I said that right before we got on, like, whatever you need, whenever you want to. Come on. I'm, like, so down for every single conversation. I love it. It's like, my. My pleasure. So, last question. You are in passing with someone, it's like 30 seconds, whether it's on an elevator, on the street, but it's literally only 30 seconds, and a stranger looks at you and says, how do I make myself happy? What do you say?

I would just tell them to, like, listen to your gut, listen to that little voice inside of you, and trust her.

So good. Yeah, you guys go get this book. And if you loved this podcast, here's the one thing that you can do that's so, so, so huge for both of us is to upload it to your stories and share your biggest takeaway tag both of us. Text this to a friend who needs it. Literally. It's that little share button right below. Text it to a friend you never, ever know whose day you might be completely turning around. So, you guys, until next time, earn your happy.

Bye, everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share, share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye.

Bye.