482. Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about COURAGE answered

The question is how to be bold. Literally, just start trying on what it would feel like if you showed up as your highest self. What would she wear? What would she say? How would she act? Would she put up with things when things don't actually go the way she wants? Or if someone is treating her not well? Like, would she still tolerate the same things? Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business, and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. That's us doing a voice check right now for welcoming you back to questionably awesome, the podcast where you're going to find yourself at one point or another questioning either why you're listening or if you're just super awesome for loving this podcast as much as we do.

Yep, lots of questioning yourself on this.

So if you've never listened to this podcast, you can know that if you're looking for something more like an interview or very, very serious. Not it.

Not that.

Not it. Scroll to something else. Not scroll to something with a more serious topic than Questionably Awesome. Yeah, so that's my question. Like when people. When people go to this podcast and they're like, I want something serious.

Yeah.

I want to learn smart things. And like the title, they look at questionably awesome, it says it right there. We got all the clues. Yeah, we're giving you the clues. I. I don't know what else to do other than put emojis in front of it like a big turd emoji, just to make sure that we keep away any serious people, any serious Sally's out there. Here's the thing. Do you know that you learn best in a state of joy?

That makes sense to me.

Yeah. Like when you are in a state of lightness and laughter, like, you're much more receptive to learning rather than just sitting there like, you know, bored out.

Of your gourd in a cold, dark room.

Oh, God.

With a cold desk.

You know what we're in right now?

A cozy room.

A cozy, bright room. It is Coffee. And it's super bright and it's happy.

And California sun is shining on all of you that are listening.

Oh, we're sending it out because it's cold out there. That is air. It is cold out there.

I'm glad that we don't have to.

Live in the cold.

No offense to everyone.

No offense.

Stronger than me.

Stronger than me. I used to. 31 years of it.

You're see the fact that you can shovel snow and the women that can just handle cold like a boss. Oh, I admire people.

Yeah, you should see me shovel.

I think it's really.

You couldn't really tell it was me because I was in many, many layers. But it looked cool.

Still. That's hard.

It didn't look cool. I don't know what I'm saying right now. What's up, Evans? Tell me about your week. Oh, you know, it's been a really good week and why?

Well, I met a girl for coffee on Sunday.

Shut your face, stranger. Oh, I like it. Did you say stranger danger when you were walking up?

Yeah, I was like, I should have. But she was very nice and it was nice to connect with someone.

Oh, how nice. Where'd you meet her?

We actually. We actually had a beer.

I love beer.

I just lied.

You're lying to the wrong person. I love beer. Like, I am not a person that if I see a girlfriend and it's like 10am and she's like, do you want to have a beer? I'd be like, absolutely, yeah, why not? Let's do this.

Let's do it. We went to that place. Have you been to Ashland Hill on Main Street? It's like a cute little.

No, it's a cute little restaurant.

They have beers on tap. And we just had a beer. And I met her at this work thing, how she's really nice.

How cool. Do you think you'll have another friend date?

Maybe.

Okay, cool.

It was kind of more of just like, cool. That was fine.

Yeah, totally. Okay. Yeah. That's what I want to point out. Like, zero expectation on a second. Look what I just did to you. I projected my need for you to have more friends and I was on to you. Yeah. And you have zero expectation, which is why you will have a much better experience. So that's what I like, friend dates. I just have to be like, was that a great moment? Are we gonna do this again? I don't know. Like. And if you. So if you really enjoyed it, you'd probably be like, hey, you know what? I could call her again. Or I can text her again. So that's cool. I love that. Yeah.

She was a really cool person, and I would love to hang out again. It's weird. It's like dating.

It's. No, it's exactly like dating. That's why people are like, it's so hard to make friends when you're older. I'm like, yeah, because you have to initiate everything. Because there's no, like, hey, meet you next Wednesday at volleyball again. Or, oh, let's go do our cheerlead leading. Clearly, I wasn't a cheerleader. Let's go do our cheerleading thing again on Tuesday. That we have to do to be ready for the basketball game.

Let's do our tumbles or whatever you call.

Nothing is keeping you together. There's no, like, oh, it's recess. I get to go connect with Mary again.

No.

Yeah.

There's no connecting at the handlebars.

No nothing. You have to create it. You have to be like bars.

You don't connect on the handlebars.

So out of practice, actually, there are kids who, like, they'd be like, want to ride on my handlebars? Because that's what kids sound like.

Like, hey, hop on for a spin.

Hey. Hey. You should do that. Like, go pick her up and be like, you're on the handlebars. We're gonna catch.

I will say, I think she was a little turned off when I arrived with. With my bike helmet on and was, like, parking my bike, like a huge nerd.

Oh, my God. That's amazing. That's amazing.

What's happening.

That's amazing that we can actually, like, talk like it is dating and be like, I think they got a little turned off by the helmet, but I think she did. She probably immediately fell you, though afterward.

I don't know.

You know what?

You know, it's okay if she didn't.

Do you know why your helmet would actually turn me on? As a friend? Let me tell you.

Because I value safety.

Yes. Because I'd be like, if I. Here's what I would picture. Oh, man. What if I. What if I get close to her during this beer date and she decides to not be safe in traffic on the way home, and I just totally connected with her. Gets hit by a car, doesn't have a helmet on. So at least now all of my fears are protected.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And honestly, if you're riding your bike in Santa Monica, you should wear a helmet.

Do you know what? You just reminded me of how weird I was when I was a little kid. So I met this.

I'm so glad that memory came up for you.

So I was making friends when I was little, and I don't remember who the person was, but I remember telling this story because I felt so nerdy.

Yeah.

I met, like, either a girl or a group of new girls, and it was the first time my parents were making me wear helmets on bikes. And I, like, always was just a. Like, right away super. Just, like, real or nerdy. Whatever one it was, I was real nerdy. So I was really nerdy immediately. And I remember going up to this girl and being like, hey, I'm Lori. I have to wear an eggshell on my head when I'm on a bike. Ha ha, ha, ha. Because my parents make me. Because I thought it would be so funny to say eggshell instead of helmet.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. They did not receive it well, so I would just be like, note to self. Don't intro it as an eggshell. And it stuck with me, like, saying, I have to wear an eggshell on my head, thinking, what a nerd. Like, I replayed that in my head so many times. I would not have ever recalled that memory in a million years if you hadn't just.

I'm glad it came out.

Brought that up. Thank you for that.

And had I met you in the eggshell helmet, I'll be like, this is my people.

She really does value.

I would have knocked helmets with you.

And be like, let's do this. Oh, my God. Could we do that one day?

Yes.

While we're drinking beer.

Yes.

Okay, great. I'm glad we're on that same page. Okay, guess what.

What?

I'm getting a new puppy.

Stop it right now.

I know.

I know you already told me this, but I'm. I just.

I'm full of joy. Yeah.

I.

Well, my announcement, I think, is just the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. I saw it on Instagram and I was like, screenshotting.

Thank you.

It's a pregnancy st that says you're having another dog. And literally, I was like, oh, my God. It legitimately. Like, if I peed on a stick this morning, that's what it would say.

Yeah.

Because tomorrow I am getting another dog. And it just happened super miraculously. And I think that the. The crazy thing is, is so many people have been like, oh, my gosh, you should get a dog right away. You should. You know? Or some people have been like, I had to wait forever. I'm finding this house is just the coldest, most empty place ever to come home. To without Waffles Soul here. We always said that that waffles was the heartbeat of the home. I have mugs everywhere, unfortunately that say your house is not a home without a dog. And so I'm drinking out of him going, it's not.

You're right.

Oh my God. So, yeah, it's so crazy. So last night we did a meditation and a prayer. I'm not kidding you. This is like two waffles. Yes. We prayed two waffles. And we were just like, hey, we need another dog. And Waffles was like, yes, please do. You guys are pathetic. Because that's what she says. She was like, roll my rod. Get over it. Bram up here with rod. My original Rohner.

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Then we said, okay, Waffles. God, we were literally just asking, eating.

Sushi when you guys.

Oh, she legit was like leaned back in a lazy boy. Yeah. Having sushi. But she wasn't using chopsticks. She was l just two paws together, tossing them up in the air and grabbing them with their mouth right next to. God. It was the cutest visual.

That's so good.

Yeah. So anyway, we have. I'm so excited because a lot of people I've talked to too because I've, you know, shared obviously waffles passing like up and down Montana, which is our street. Because everyone's like, where's waffles? Where's waffles? I'm like, oh my God, this is awful. But anyway, so many people were like, you know, when my dog passed, the best thing that I did was get another dog right away because it just had something to focus on. And yeah. Dog person. You totally are. I must have dog. Must.

You must have dog. And this is going to be an amazing new adventure.

Yeah.

Just bring a whole new energy and yeah, Waffles is going to love watching along.

Oh yeah, she's going to be like, she's going to be laughing at us. Yeah.

100 is.

So I'm really excited about that. And I think the thing for anybody who's lost a dog or whose dog is, you know, older or whatever that is, like, you're going to figure it out.

Yeah.

And it doesn't matter what comes up for you or how you feel like you will figure it out. And it will. Whatever is right for you is right for you.

100.

So I can't freaking wait. And I'm not telling you the name yet. Oh, wait. They're gonna totally know because it's next week.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. It's a boy and his name is Bananas. You know why? Because when we. When we pick up his poop every day, we're gonna be like, this is Bananas. B A N A N A S is. It is Bananas. B A N A N A S. So yeah, that's our. Our neighbors are not our friends for many reasons like that. Just kidding. They probably would be, but we don't have kids and they, like all have kids. Yeah.

They're gonna love.

They're gonna love Bananas. We talk and say hello. We're super cordial. It's not that we're not friends. It's just that they definitely have the blow up tent house. The bounce house, like every weekend. And clearly it would probably be weird to invite us to the bounce house, even though we're like, we can hear you having fun.

Let us over there.

We can see the bounce house.

God, they're like popping up over the fence.

Oh, my God. As if we wouldn't want to be there.

You guys would love a bounce house.

So we get a trampoline. We just jump at the same time and look them dead in the eye. We're like, I see you. Do you have a quote? Oh, yeah. Wait, do you have a review?

Oh, yeah.

I don't know what order we go in. I don't think it matters because this is our podcast.

Yeah. There are no rules here.

This is from the rulebook. We're.

Yeah, burn the rule book. This is from gymnast02.

Wow.

Maybe she did cheerleading tumbles.

I bet she did a lot of them, but she did. She was so cool.

The review says Vibes. I started listening to Lori's podcast yesterday. I can't stop listening. She understands me and she is just honest. I love when you're happy. Thank you, Lori. Exclamation, Exclamation, exclamation.

That's so cool. That makes me so excited. I've been seeing a lot of new listeners, which is really, really freaking Cool. Because I just think it's so fun to like new. Once we find, like, we just. What we do here is we kind of somehow raise the energetic weirdo flag for you and you find us.

Yeah, that flag should always come up.

It's always up.

Just raise it high and no shame.

I should just get a hat that says it so that when I'm walking, people will either resonate or in California.

They'Ll be like, oh, I can't deal with you.

So cool. Just kidding. I love all of you. Me too. But I would like to find my weirdos. That is amazing. Send us an email to Lori, Customer service Lori. To Lori harder.com customer service at Lori. Yeah, you're not going to get anything if you just send it to loriharder.com. send it to customer serviceloriharder.com so that we can send you something really cool. It's probably gonna be like a really cool either shirt or a mug.

That's gonna be nice.

Yeah. Mugs are freaking rad.

I love mugs.

We're sitting here with mugs right now. Yeah, I love my mug mugs, not drugs. Okay.

Amen.

Public service announcement. Give me your quote.

Quote. Oh, my quote is from Joan Rivers. Joan Rivers. Oh, man.

I should pick one from Joan. Yes. She'd be like, your jacket is bad. Yeah, but you're good.

But you're doing great. This is from Joan Bayes. I think she was a musician. And she says action is the antidote. Antidote to despair.

Yeah, it is. How you feeling? You doing those creative dates? Yeah. You did it again. Yeah, I did.

High five.

Yeah. Yeah.

I got it on my calendar weekly.

How's it feeling?

Feeling great. It's starting to feel like a habit.

Yeah. It's kind of nice when you. So I think within those creative dates, even if it's just for one minute, it is like magic.

It really is.

You connect to whatever you believe. I believe it's God, source, energy, whatever, because you are leaning in and saying, I know that I have something in here that's super creative and special or magical because it's a part of you and it's a connection. And you can't get that until you get really faithful with having those dates. Those dates with creativity are technically dates with yourself and with, I think, God or energy or whatever you believe. So I agree. I do think that it's something that a lot of people miss out on because they don't set that time, and it's not easy, and some are horrible. So that's the thing, it's like working out. It's like running. People are like, running is the worst thing ever until you start running a lot. Now, if running's not for you, that's totally fine. There's other ways to tap into this. Long walks, right? You do long walks. Love long walks. If you missed long walks, you would miss those moments where you're in pure euphoria and where you feel so connected to nature and the people around you in the universe. Like that happens. You just have to be committed to it. But a lot of people skip it because it's like the same sparring.

What is this doing? You gotta listen to a podcast or something. There's so many things you can do on a walkout. Oh, yeah, put on that good playlist.

I was just reading a friend's post Jen Gottlieb posted this morning about one of her favorites. Her favorite things still to this day to do is just put on show tunes and walk through New York. Now, she was on Broadway, but, like, that's one of my favorites. To, like, put in, like, the best music, like, literally and walk around the city or walk around a park or whatever. And just like, daydream.

Change your energy.

Daydream.

Oh, like Hamilton. You love Hamilton.

Love.

If you're having a bad day, put on the Hamilton soundtrack.

That will under Hamilton.

Alexander Hamilton.

I'm trying to think what song I like. I like.

I really like that one.

Your last shot one.

Oh, yeah.

Throwing away my shot. Why don't I remember? I listened to it for two years straight at the gym.

Yeah, it'll pump you up.

Yeah, it's so good. Hey, guys, this is the perfect spot to take a break because I have to tell you some exciting news. Our famous FAST Foundations mastermind is open again for enrollment. This is a mastermind that my husband, Chris Harder and I put on for entry level early stage entrepreneurs. And this is the only way to be able to work with Chris and I together in a room in person. I can promise you that this is literally one of the best masterminds out there for half the price. But I want you to listen in to some of these transformations that happen when you are in the room. And you guys know if you listen to this podcast that I always tell you, just show up for yourself and get your butt in the room. So listen into these.

Hey, guys, my name is Michael Dash and Fast Foundations really helped me get clear on my coaching strategy. They also did a great job in giving me some. Some creative ideas. And I specifically credit Chris and Lori to coming up with some fantastic strategies. It is a no brainer to join this mastermind. Fast Foundations was awesome.

Hey, my name is Jackie Service. And the Fast Foundations mastermind helped me.

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Power, was in all of the relationships built and the collective knowledge of the other Mastermind participants.

Okay, so here's the deal. All of those breakthroughs that you just heard, none of those people felt ready to be in that room. And I know you're sitting here thinking, I'm not even sure if I'm there yet. But let me tell you, if you make less than 499,000 a year, we want to lock arms with you to make your business explode and make you feel confident in all of the areas that you don't yet feel confident in. And I will tell you, as an entrepreneur, you never feel ready. You never, ever feel ready. It's all about taking that leap and showing up for yourself. So over the next five and a half months, we want to lock arms with you. And spots are super limited. So go over to fastfoundations.com, right now because we want to work with you. We want you in this room. And as you can hear from the transformation, it is your turn now to have that same experience. So let's get back to the interview. Okay. This is from Mark Batterson, who wrote the book that I'm reading right now, which is Circle Maker Fricking Game Changer. I really want you to read it. Okay. It says the greatest tragedy in life is the prayers that go unanswered because they go unasked. And this whole book is about really specific. I've been talking about it on the podcast. This book is about really specific prayers and also prayer walks. Like, really praying through whatever that means to you. It could be meditating. For some people, this means visualization. Like, for me, it's like a direct ask. And it talks about how if you are asking for something that you could do on your own, it's not big enough. That's literally like asking someone who does big, like, has created the universe to be like. Like, could you dust off my television?

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Yeah.

He's like, no. Like, offended. Like, absolutely not. Dust it yourself. Ask me for something that I enjoy doing that's cool. Like. Like helping you with a vision you can't possibly imagine doing. So it has been working miracles in my life. I cannot even tell you. Get this book. Yeah. Lean in. Don't stop doing it. Every single day, things are moving really fast for me. I'm having problems. Come up with my company now. Challenges. It happens all the time.

Right. That's normal.

That I'm like, oh, I can't solve this, so I'm gonna need some serious help. Because I don't know who the people are who can help me solve this. So please bring them into my life. And I get really specific on who I need and who I would want right down to, like, male or female. Wow. Oh, yeah. And it's happening huge. It is happening because you're focusing on.

The solution rather than the problem.

Yep.

That's interesting.

And just belief. Yeah. So anyway, it's kind of crazy.

I just added that to my Amazon cart during that conversation, so thank you.

Yeah. Read it. You're gonna love it. It's one of those books that, like, I feel like you go past, like, four pages and you're like, yeah, it's good. And then you get the pop of like, oh, my God, this changed my life. And then you're like, I'm gonna keep reading. Cause this one sentence changed my life. And then four pages later, it happens again. So. Yeah, okay. But it feels a little like. And then.

Whoa.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah. So hang in there. Keep reading. Yeah.

I'll wear my helmet when I.

That Is not a review I would write for his book because it is that good. But that's just my review for here. Yeah. Yeah. Do we have a QQ? Oh, yeah.

There's lots of QQs. This one's about courage.

I love questions on.

This one's from Alicia Lindsay.

I knew she listened. Thanks, Alicia, for taking the time.

Anytime.

What's her name? Alicia.

Alicia Lindsay.

Alicia Lindsay. Even better. What?

How to be bold when in sharing. When your soul decided to do a rebrand.

How to be bold in sharing your new rebrand of yourself. Meaning, yes, you have done a 180. You are not the girl you used to be. No. And it is time to step on out. You're stepping out. Okay, here's the deal. Life just became a Broadway musical, and you cannot show up the character that you were because you are now the leading lady and main star.

You're not the chorus anymore.

Oh, no. So if you show up in that same outfit, if you show up with that same energy because you're afraid of outshining the lead, guess what? You're the lead of your life now.

Damn straight.

So you literally have to step in and show up as that. So the question is how to be bold? Yeah. How do you.

Girl, how do you do it?

Literally, just start trying on what it would feel like if you showed up as your highest self. What would she wear? What would she say? How would she act? Who would she hang around? Would she still go to the same gym? Would she still shop at the same stores? Would she still order the same coffee? Would she put up with things when things don't actually go the way she wants? Or if someone is treating her not well? Like, would. Would she still tolerate the same things? If you got a bad meal, if it truly was bad, would you say, oh, I'll just eat this? Or would you say, ask politely? Hey, I'm so sorry, but could I send this back? This isn't what I ordered. Or this isn't exactly how I would like it. I'd really appreciate it. I so appreciate you. Like, I will not. I will now. I will not tolerate things not to my liking. I don't drink bad wine. I will not drink bad coffee. And I do it in such a loving way. And. And I'll tip more, whatever. Like, I just won't tolerate things because that's what my highest self would do. She would be like, no, no.

Yeah, this isn't what I ordered.

No, no. I want to be treated like how I want to feel. So right down to. I Don't know. Would she hold doors for people? What does she do? Does she smile at people? Does she put her head up? Does she see the person who initiates conversation or goes over to the corner to that person who looks like they're not having a good time and just says, hello, quick, don't stay there.

I think she does.

Unless you start having fun, but don't stay there. She doesn't tolerate that either. No.

You got to keep moving.

So I think trying those things on one by one. What do you think? I like that. Who's the highest version of Evans? What would she do that she's not doing right now?

Ooh. I think the highest version is just a little more brave in some things. You know, just not second guessing yourself.

On, like.

Like, when I went on that friend date, it's like, I don't care. It's okay if we don't become lifelong friends.

How awesome.

Let's just show up and have fun.

That's amazing. And I hope everybody just really got that, because that's how you will be free to make more friends and become the person you want. Because, like, also, if this particular person doesn't bring the best out in you, which you can't always tell right away.

Sure.

Like, you're also not attached, like, nope, don't have to bring her with me on this next chapter of my life. Cause she's not meant to be in it. Right.

And same go like, same for her.

Should we send her this podcast? Would that be weird?

Yeah, she'd be like, cool, I'll never see you again.

You're like, nice to meet you. And you'll be the topic for my podcast coming up. Just so you know. Bye. Don't do anything weird. Actually do something weird. It'll make for a better podcast.

Please, please.

Oh, you need to date more so we can talk about, like, I know. I want you to actually meet some weirdos, like, because you're not dating guys, so I know you got to talk about girls.

I mean, I admire people who date now.

I mean, maybe you are dating guys. I don't know. No, I'm not. I promise I'm not. Just kidding, Adam. She's not. No, no, we're clear. No, except with my husband. Okay. We're clear on that.

Yeah.

She just turned bright red.

I did great.

I just got really nervous. The blotches are coming.

Okay.

They're coming in. I feel lonely when they're not here.

I know.

It's like, me, you, and the blotches.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what we should call this podcast.

The Band Name Me, you, and the Blotches. Blotches. Do you want another?

Yes, please. Okay.

This is from Katie and her canines.

Yeah, it is. I love her. Katie and her canines sent us the cutest puppy stuff. It's adorable.

Yes, he does. I need to take a picture.

Okay. So cute.

They're freaking cute. How do you find the courage to leave the religion you grew up with and limiting beliefs?

Oh. Oh, hello. Close to home. What? Right. Well, I left when I was 18 and I didn't. I was. I think that my courageous thing was, you know, moving out, but I was not acting courageous how I did it. And that's okay because sometimes. And I guess that was courageous to know that I was leaving and figure out how to do it. You're not gonna know how to be courageous while doing it, because you are. Here's the thing. We are innately built to be tribal, so technically, you're leaving your safety zone. And what happens is our brain thinks that when we leave this group that we grew up with and that we. When it's all we know, your brain is like, do not leave. Life will not be safe. You could die. Because that's how we are wired. Like, if you leave the tribe back in the past, you would be eaten by a cheetah or you wouldn't know how to hunt, because that was put up. That was like, you know, a job of somebody else in the group. Maybe you were the seamstress. You're not going to sew your way out of a bad situation. No.

Or maybe you are.

Wait, maybe you might.

That's weird that you brought sewing up with Katie and her canines since she literally sews.

That is really weird.

Maybe she could sew herself out of this.

Maybe she really could. She'd be like, you're mean. I'm gonna put bow ties all over your eyeballs. And then they're like, I can't see. Yeah. She'd have time to escape.

Yes.

Yeah. And be so cute.

The cutest bow ties. Wait. I think Katie actually is sewing herself to her next thing. She is.

You know what?

She's just wrapped up business.

Yep. She'd like just wrapped up and sewed and completed the last stitch on where she's at. And now she's starting a new blanket that she can literally just create however she wants. So it's not going to be easy. You are going to have moments where you think you should go back for sure for safety. But then once you leave you're going to get a little taste of what it's like to be yourself and to be tapped into something that feels like a very free flowing connection to the world, to other people, to, to God, to whatever you believe, to whatever feels better for you. That's gonna feel like so much more clear. And what's gonna happen is you're gonna try to go get back in that box and it's not gonna fit. Like it legitimately will not fit. So you'll be so uncomfortable that you might even start acting in ways you don't want. That means that you need to ask for support and show up just in love and understanding and also like just do the things that make you feel good and go to the people, go start making friends with people. That's gonna be huge for the transition. It's gonna be lo make friends at the same time with other like minded people. And as we talk about on this podcast, Evan's friends can take like a year to three years, to five years.

Yeah, it takes a long time to find your people.

Took me a long time after leaving because it's not. The hardest part is if it's not bad people, they're not bad people. It's just not a fit. And sometimes in religion you, you can't, you're not allowed in a lot of religions to believe something different than what they believe. So a lot of times they, it won't fit, it won't work anymore. The relationship on either your end or their. So it's a really challenging thing that I don't think enough people talk about.

No, I mean, for some reason this just made me think of Cheryl Strayed in that book Wild and how she was having a really crazy. Her life was crazy and she went on a hike for a year by herself because she just had to, she just had to.

She didn't know who she was. I didn't know who I was without that and I didn't know if it was right. And I will tell you, I still get moments where I'm like, was it right? And then immediately I get my answer. So it's deep. It goes really deep because it's your belief system, it's what we grew up with. And everything was formed by the time we're what, seven our essential beliefs and how we feel about things. So it is breaking things that are deep, deep, deep down to your core. So it's not easy, but your soul speaks a lot louder than anything else. So it will tell you exactly.

And like you said, it doesn't I feel like when you make those shifts and maybe step away from a religion or something, it doesn't have to be a mean thing. You're still respectful. I think when you exit something respectfully.

Thank you for saying that.

Because it's not like you were like, I'm gonna burn this place down. Goodbye.

Yeah. And it's not like that's the thing. When I talk about my past religion, I always try to talk about it in a respectful way, because guess what? It made me who I am. There were a lot of great people in it, but there were a lot of things that happened. And it's imperfect humans, so it's kind of like. Like, you just. I see it all with love and gratitude, but I'm also realistic about what it did in my life. So absolutely, you have to dance between those two emotions of, like, just what is and accepting what happened and just moving forward how you feel best.

Yeah.

And to me, it's not holding a grudge on it, but it is talking through it with people.

I love that.

Yeah. Do you have another cue? I think we have time for one more. Absolutely.

This is from @andy. Underscore Ruth, help. She spelled it H A, L, P, which I love.

Yeah.

I often fear the people I get close to just leads to more stress and obligation to others.

Okay. This is huge. So you have to meet people just with zero expectation and zero thinking. You have to carry them along with you. This happens in my life so much because I meet hundreds of people sometimes in a week, who. And I even. I meet women who I fall in love with, who. I'm like, oh, my God. But I know there's no room for them in my life right now. So I let it. I trust. Here's what I always say. I trust that if this is meant to be, it'll come in my life at the right time when I have time. So, yeah, some people might be like, oh, she has a bit of a wallop. You have to. Or you will be bleeding everywhere, and your energy will not go to the people that you love. So know who your handful is. Like, literally, Andy, write down who, like, your five most important people are in your life and make sure that they get all your energy first. And, like, you know, I think we talked about this. I just had Chalene Johnson on my podcast, and she really talked about, like, a lot of people don't like my answer, that I don't have room for more friends, because I just. I have kids. I have this group of friends, and I'm gonna put all of my energy to these people. And yeah, that can feel very, like, cold or guarded to people trying to come in, but you can't when you're someone who is, like, either very, like an influencer in the forefront or someone who's very friendly or someone who a lot of people are drawn to because you have big energy. Like, you gotta guard yourself. So you have to know, like, I'm gonna give these people all of my energy in this area or when I'm at this party or whatever, and I'm gonna be, you know, very extroverted or I'm gonna just be me. But I'm also not going to, like, say something or do something that makes them think there's an expectation after this. Like, it's very much. This is it. So, yeah, it's. It doesn't feel great sometimes, but it will feel great when you have time for your loved ones.

Amen.

So we gots to go, Evans.

Yeah, we gots to go. Enjoy the California sunshine.

Yeah, we got to start our life. So, you guys, I'm s sending you so much love and we will see you on the podcast next time.

Yeah.

Goodbye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earth. Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.