487. Intentionally Uplevel Your Tribe - with Chris Harder

Value can actually be that I just sit and listen to you, maybe offer input or maybe don't. Like even just being a witness to what you're telling me and sitting with you in whatever you're sharing is valuable. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

All right, everyone, well, this might become something new. So I'm sitting here with my wife Lori. Say hi babe.

Hi babe.

And it is seven something in the morning and I know we've got this protected time that you've always heard about where we don't do any work, but this is not work. This is. No, this is a response to so many people loving when we do episodes together. Lori said, why don't we just have coffee once a week and talk about whatever the heck is on our mind and see if people like it. So your first order of business, everybody, is if you like these random unscripted, no plan episodes where we're just having coffee and talking about whatever's on our mind early in the morning with like stuff in our eyes and bathrobes on and our brand new puppy walking around at our feet.

And we're praying, which is freaking me out. I know I'm like watching any moment.

If you guys like this, you need to DM us on Instagram @chriswharder and loriauriharder L O R I Laurie Harder just to let us know and if we get a great response, we'll keep doing these things. Anyhow, enough chatting about that, babe. Here's what I want to ask you. We just got back from spending a few days in Park City with really high level, incredible entrepreneurial couples. There were six of us total and it was kind of this impromptu thing that was. We were invited up there by Brett and Chalene Johnson. They were so generous to put us in this gorgeous ski in, ski out cabin and really just wanted to get six high level couples together to talk about life and business and hang out and it was one of the best little mini trips ever. How was it for you?

It was so good. Number one. I, I, the second I'm in nature, I feel so much better. Like my nervous system just calms down because with a new puppy and with starting this new company, I have just been like in it. And it's, it's really easy when you're in your house to feel like all of a sudden this dog got brought into an already busy schedule. And I'm not kidding you, I had a panic attack for real. A full on, like, what did I do? I can't believe I got this puppy. I forgot how hard it was because you guys, we're up three, four times a night. And he.

Wait, he was up three, four times a night?

You are now. But in the beginning I was to. Chris has agreed to do the nightly work, which is like you have, you guys have no idea. Our marriage just went to the next level that he agreed to do that. I was like, are you kidding me?

That's all it took?

That's all it took?

Waking up three times?

No, that's all it. If you don't know it's, for me it's all about sleep. If I get less than like 8 hours, I am a bear. Truth, Truth is no fun. A bear is so he's really doing it for his own safety. His own personal safety. But with that said, I was anxious, like really anxious. Like, what did I do to us? What did I do to our team? This dog is barking. How are we going to concentrate? How are we going to focus? He's around my feet right now. He's licking my toes for real right now. And I got out and your parents were nice enough to say they would watch him for two days. They have a dog who's one and a half right now. So they just did puppy duty not too long ago. So they're very familiar. So they volunteered, which was freaking amazing. Thank you guys. I love you. And we went for two days out in nature with some epic human beings. And I felt awesome. The second I got out in nature. It's like my nervous system just calmed right down.

Yeah. So for me it was a reminder that we have to have these forced placed breaks especially for any hard chargers out there. So Lori and I were such driven people, were such hard chargers that we'll put our heads down and just go after the mission nonstop and never look up unless we have some force placed trip or force placed break or force placed fun in there for ourselves. And that's exactly what this was, it was somebody shaking us by the shoulders to say, get your butt up here to Park City, come hang out with all of us. And it came at the perfect time for me because I call this busy season for me. Busy season for me is January 1st all the way through about the end of the first week of March. And it's because in that time we are doing all the interviews for the elite level mastermind to make sure we get the right people in there. Then I'm doing all of these strategy calls for them which are 90 minutes apiece times 30 businesses. Then we open up our fast foundations, which is our entry level mastermind. That's the one that we're enrolling right now. And on top of that we have four other businesses that we're running all the time or I should say three other. That's the fourth one. And so it's truly my busy season. Like my schedule is nuts and I have a tendency to work so dang hard almost to the point where I get resentful and a bit crabby. Yet I don't do anything about it until someone forces me to go take a few day breather. And that's what this was. So like, listen, if this hits a chord with anybody out there where you realize that you need something like this too, go find those people. Go find that tribe. Go find those, those things that you can either buy into like a mastermind or form yourself by inviting people up there. Because if you don't force place human interaction, if you're just always working in your business and not on your business, then you're not going to be happy and in the long run you're not going to be successful.

Sorry, the dog is chewing the rug right now.

I know, I see that.

So I want to add when you are up leveling your tribe or when you get invited to new places with new people, you know, we got invited into this group which we knew, we probably knew half of them and we knew of the other people but we had never gotten to drop in and spend time with them. And I will say, especially when you're up leveling your tribe and you're around really epic human beings who, you know are playing a really big game in life, in, in their business, in their fai, in everything that they're doing in their relationships, it kind of messes with you for a moment of am I going to fit in? Oh my gosh, am I good enough for these people? What are they going to think of me? Yes, all of those old stories come Up. And I don't really know anyone who I think did not feel that way for a little bit or for a while while they were there. Just, how is this all gonna work? It's always a question, right? But you have to just go into it completely open. And something that we always do, no matter what, is to go into a situation saying, we're gonna get what we need out of this situation. So even if we would have been like, you know, maybe we wouldn't have fit in. No chemistry. Maybe it would have been crickets. Then we would have literally just said, okay, great. That is the universe showing us that these are not our people right now. And we had such a great time and, you know, whatever we had to learn. But instead, we hung in there and said yes and kept showing up. And it was amazing because, for the.

Record, Lori and I would just sit on an island, just the two of us, because we're such introverts, right?

Yeah.

And we had this massive conversation at the dinner table. Here's the best part. High level people actually put the awkward conversations on the table immediately, and they talk through them. So we got there, and when we sat down for dinner on the first night, the very first conversation was, all right, introvert or extrovert? And why? And like, it was this deep dive by all six couples as to whether they're an introvert or extrovert and, you know, what personality traits, how we recharge and all that stuff. So that we could put it on the table that, listen, if we're being quiet, no judgment. If we're chatting it up, no judgment. If we're staying in our room for a while, working, no judgment. You have to speak up for what you want. And you gotta remember, these are such high performing couples. We're talking really high performing couples here. And I noticed the correlation. They talk about what they need, and they put it on the table immediately so that they get it. And that's what we all did. And it ended up being six couples that didn't know each other very well, having the best chemistry ever, because we knew the rules and the personalities out of the gates, because we put it on the table right away.

Hey, guys, this is the perfect spot to take a break because I have to tell you some exciting news. Our famous Bass Foundations Mastermind is open again for enrollment. This is a mastermind that my husband, Chris Harder, and I put on for entry level early stage entrepreneurs. And this is the only way to be able to work with Chris and I together in a room, in person. I can promise you that this is literally one of the best masterminds out there for half the price. But I want you to listen in to some of these transformations that happen when you are in the room. And you guys know if you listen to this podcast that I always tell you, just show up for yourself and get your butt in the room. So listen into these. My name is Kat golden and not only did Fast Foundations help me scale to a multiple six figure income in under a year, I was able to establish myself as an authority. Thank you you so much Chris and Lori. Truly forever grateful.

My name is Alex street and Fast Foundations helped me build my first course and confidently now do what I'm made for.

Fast Foundations was the best thing I did in 2019 for my growth. I received all of the skills that I needed for marketing and PR and gained access to really high level entrepreneurs and their insider secrets that I would not have been able to get outside of Fast Foundations. My name is Joanna Vargas and Fast Foundations helped me double my profit. I learned how to up level my client experience and I invest more to make more now. It was truly a game changer for me. I saw measurable results right away and.

Helped get me through any challenge.

And it's priceless.

But also it was a game changer in the people that I connected with.

Fast Foundations was awesome.

Okay, so here's the deal. All of those breakthroughs that you just heard, none of those people felt ready to be in that room. And I know you're sitting here thinking, I'm not even sure if I'm there yet. But let me tell you, if you make less than 499,000 a year, we want to lock arms with you to make your business explode and make you feel confident in all of the areas that you don't yet feel confident in. And I will tell you as an entrepreneur, you never feel ready. You never ever feel ready. It's all about taking that leap and showing up for yourself. So over the next five and a half months, we want to lock arms with you. And spots are super limited. So go over to fastfoundations.com right now because we want to work with you. We want you in this room. And as you can hear from the transformation, it is your turn now to have that same experience. So let's get back to the interview.

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That was so amazing. I felt so seen. And I also felt like I didn't have to hide something or be something that I wasn't because sometimes we just came off of weeks of being super extroverted Chris. Like, you and I have been around people for two weeks straight. And for me, I like to have a good couple of days every week. If I had a perfect world where I am really internal and I'm quiet and I'm going for walks by myself or with you, and we're just kind of like out in nature and I'm hearing what I need to hear. That's the only way I actually get downloads in my messages is when I'm alone. And don't get me wrong, great conversations. I have huge breakthroughs. But I have to be internal. Please don't eat that. Bananas. Bananas is our dog's name and he's eating the chair. So I have to be internal to get the things, some of the answers that I need. Like, I have to get quiet. So being able to say that at the supper table, like being able to say that at the dinner table to everybody was really amazing because I didn't have to push myself to be something that I wasn't. Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I was quiet the whole trip, but I did not feel the need to fill empty space if there was empty space. Like in the mornings when I had my coffee and everyone was talking, I just kind of more enjoyed listening to everybody talk instead of feeling like in order for me to be valuable, I had to offer some sort of crazy valuable insight. And let me tell you, that will test how you feel about yourself. Because I ha. I. I'm still getting over the story from my past of in order to feel valuable, I have to be offering value all of the time. And that is exhausting. And when you start hanging out with people who are at a higher level than you, it feels more challenging to offer value. But value is completely shifted in my head now. Like, value can actually be that I just sit and listen to you, maybe offer input or maybe don't. Like even just being a witness to what you're telling me. And sitting with you in whatever you're sharing is valuable. You don't have to constantly be adding value. Especially when you start getting in these big rooms of people, you might want to just sit back and be an observer. And that's valuable as well.

That is. You know what that is? That's an exercise in making sure your ego is not speaking for you. Because people show up in rooms with really highly successful people and they say, I need to be seen, I need to sound important. I need to make sure that I make a point so that they think I'm smart. That's how we're built as humans. So the power to sit back and be quiet and absorb instead of feeling like you have to have input is actually a really powerful thing. I had one more takeaway too. So here's one thing I noticed about really high performance humans. Again, six couples up there, each one of them individually, not even as a couple, but that would be 12 people that are super highly successful high performance humans in multiple areas of their life. And we were all going snowboarding. This was a ski in, ski out. Amazing. Literally a 12,000 square foot log cabin in Park City. How awesome is that, right? But here's my takeaway. Not everybody in the group was a great snowboarder. For some people, it was like their second time. And a lot of people in that situation, they're going to be like, oh, I don't want to hold up the group or I'm just going to stay back, or I don't want to look dumb, or I don't want to fall in front of people. But instead, knowing that the whole spectrum of snowboarders were there. So from like really ridiculously good, snowboarded all their life, like Lori and like Brett, all the way down to me, somewhere in the middle, I'm only a few years in snowboarding and all the way down to a couple other people there where this was maybe their second time out. We're talking the whole range was there. And here's what I noticed about high performance humans. They're willing to say yes and give it a shot. Anyways, so the couple of newbies on the hill, they did their best to bomb down the hills. It's not like we went on the greens or something. We're on blues and blacks. They did their best to bomb down the hill, even if they had to kind of snowplow their way down, which I had to do down some of those hills as well, and not care what they looked like, not care what I looked like. Remember, I'm in the middle of the spectrum there and not care that somebody else is that much better than them or they're going to look stupid. They just did it anyways because they knew that by getting out there and taking the reps, they're going to get better. And if they stayed back because they're afraid of looking dumb or holding the group back, then they would never get better. Oh, I was just going to say the end result was everybody got exponentially better at snowboarding, including me. I remember you looking at me at the end of one of the runs, be like, babe, I have never seen you snowboard like that. That was as fast as I could possibly go. And remember, Lori's been snowboarding her entire life. She's really, really good. And it was probably my personal best snowboarding trip from a skills standpoint. All because when there's high performance people around you, you're forced to keep up more and you're forced to do something you wouldn't normally do. And the end result is better output than you would do on your own.

You'Re gonna raise to that level. There's a quote that says if you wanna run fast, you need to run with a faster runner. So you need to run with who is better than you. And you told me that on the hill you were like, you know what? Because I will wait for him. You know what I mean? I will. I'm, I worry about him when he snowboards because I want to always make sure he's having a good experience. But that doesn't make somebody better. That's what I learned is it doesn't make somebody better. It actually holds him back. So he told me when he snowboards with people who are better than him and who don't wait for him, he's actually forced to rise to the occasion to keep up. And that is what is going to make you better. You guys go with people who you're forced to rise to the occasion because maybe they won't wait for you, right? Maybe you're going to be forced to run faster, snowboard better. Build your business with more thought. Build your business bigger. You're good. You're going to be stretched.

Well, the puppy's biting you and the puppy's starting to cry and he's trying to jump out of your lap. You guys, he's only nine weeks old. If you've ever had a nine week old giant puppy, you know like how much work they are. So I think that's a sign that we put a bow on this thing.

Oh, that's banana. Says we're done.

My coffee is actually empty. So I think this coffee talk or coffee chat or whatever we might end up calling it is perfectly timed. What do you think, babe?

Yep. I think this is bananas.

This is. This is bananas. That's really why we're on the bananas. Let's be honest.

It is so we could say it while we pick up his poop.

All right, guys, I hope that you got some value from this. If you like this again, let us know in the DMs. It's how we judge whether we keep doing this over our morning coffee or not. You reach out to Lori on Instagram at L O r I H A R D E rieharder and I'm hriswharder. Can't wait to hear if you liked it. And don't forget to tag us in your takeaways. In the meantime, we are currently enrolling for our Fast Foundations mastermind. It's for entrepreneurs who are making less than $500,000 a year. We have everyone in there from someone who's just at 25 to 50 grand to people who are at 100 grand and 200 grand. And the best part is we create a room where the collective lifts everybody up. Oh my God. Almost like the snowboarding story I told. So if you want to become the, quote, better snowboarder in business, the fastest way to do it is in our five month mastermind for newer entrepreneurs. Check it out@fastfoundations.com Again, it's fast foundations.com and go grab your your spot. Can't wait to work with you.

Bye, guys. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye bye.