491. 4 steps to get through any challenge

I want to be the person who chooses those challenges head on because I am more afraid of staying the same than I am of the challenges of changing. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Foreign. Welcome back to earn your happy. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I'm so freaking proud of all of you who are just doing the thing. You know who you are. You know that you did something hard this morning so that you can make everything else easy in your life. You know that you are facing the things that you don't want to face, but it's making you free when you face them. And something that I want to just remind you of, of is that we are filling our fast foundations mastermind. And if you are in a place where you are five to six years into your business or less and you're making less than $500,000, yes, for a lot of you, that would be a great thing. That would be a great thing, obviously. But what I want to say is that we would love to work with you. If you're in a place of just your business is not scaling in the way you want or you're running into walls left and right or you're feeling really lonely and this whole entrepreneurial thing or this side hu thing is really feeling more tiring than it is fun. It is the place that you need to go to meet your tribe and get the answers in order to scale and move forward. So if you're ready for that, if you are in that place where you're feeling stagnant, I'm telling you, this is a room full of epic entrepreneurs. I do this with my husband, so you get a kind of a he said, she said kind of a his and hers opinion. We bring in guest experts who have grown their businesses beyond what they ever thought they could grow. And we all come together, we all come together to work on your business and it's one of the most exciting things that Chris and I get to do is to be in the rooms with you and actually experience and see what you're going through and help you get to the next level. So go to fastfoundations.com if you want to get in that room. I'm telling you, it's all about getting in the rooms. I should just literally make a podcast called get in the Rooms. And if you listen to podcasts, you know, that's all that we are all preaching on here, is to up level by getting in the rooms with people, hiring a coach, reading the books, listening to the podcasts. Because we can't do this alone. We have to do this together. So on the podcast today, I want to talk to you about the four steps that are going to make you a total boss in your life. They're going to make you a complete decision making ninja and they are going to, if you adopt these four things, these four steps into your life, telling you if you just did this, it would change everything for you. So these are the four steps that you're going to do when challenges arise. And so many people always say, I just got a ton of DMs actually. And people were asking, I just feel stuck. I don't know what to do. It feels like I'm just in the same place that I was last year. It's like one vicious cycle. I get it. I circled around that bathtub drain for what felt like seven or eight or ten years, you guys. Literally, if we, if we really want to rewind, if we really want to talk about it. I remember going back to eight years old thinking, I'm dieting again. I'm circling this drain again. I didn't have that language back then. I was just like, all I want to do is eat all of the cookies and instead I'm having all these fat free foods that were just as bad. And I didn't know it at the time, but I was on the vicious cycle back then of just even dieting. And then I was on the vicious cycle of my teenage years of massive anxiety. And then I was on the vicious cycle in my twenties of my body and my relationships and my job sucking. And then in my 30s, I was on the vicious cycle of feeling like I was stuck. Even though I was working really hard, I was working on the wrong things over and over and over again because I wasn't getting the help that I needed because I wasn't asking or enrolling myself in the things that I needed because I was counting myself out before I started. Is this you? Is this you? Answer right now. Say it in your car. Say it on your run. Are you the person who is taking you out of the game before you're in it? Stop benching yourself. You know that you are the lead. You know that you're the star. You know that you're the quarterback. You know that you're the front man. You know that you're the front woman for this job that is so important to get done. Why are you downgrading the mission and the job? Why? But we don't want to get stuck in the why, right? We want to get stuck in the vision. You want to get stuck in the vision so we can look at why, right? We can say because I was traumatized as a child. Apparently you were Southern at the time as well. Or you can say because I have this against me, because I didn't go to college, because I had my baby too young, because I was left by this person at the altar, because I was fired from this job, because I had this traumatizing thing happen. Because these people destroyed my reputation. Because. Because. Because that is how we circle the drain. That's how we circle. And it's us. How do we get stuck in the vision? We get stuck in the vision by visualizing every single day and getting out of the environments and away from the people who feel like they are sucking the life out of us. And out of that, it feels like it's draining the energy out of us. And we go and do something hard, we go and do something challenging. The challenge is the way. And the more that you challenge yourself, the more challenges are going to come up. But here's what happens. It's just like working out. The more you start exercising, the more sore you get. But the more that you exercise, the more you get used to that type of sore and you actually start to crave it. Where are all my workout people at? You actually start to crave it because it is a better feeling sore than the sore you get from not. Not working out, right? Because you know that this type of sore has growth on the other side. You know that this type of sore has endorphins on the other side. You know that this type of sore has strength on the other side. Face the challenge. Go through the ones that have strength, hope, endorphins, happiness, friends and tribe on the other side. But instead we keep choosing these challenges that have nothing on the other side but. But discouragement, pain, friends that don't support us. We keep Tolerating bullshit because we're used to it and we're afraid of the challenges. You know what? I want to be the person who chooses those challenges head on because I am more afraid of staying the same than I am of the challenges of changing. Because there is no hope with staying the same. You actually regress. And the reason that humans are here is to grow. We want to grow. We want to. We want to grow our families. We want to grow our tribes. We want to grow who we are as a person. We want to create. We want progress. We want to move. Historically, you could see this. We want to progress. It actually hurts deep down in our soul and wakes us up at night if we're not progressing. But we're holding ourselves back, circling the drain because we're counting ourselves out and we're afraid of the challenge that would actually change everything. So I know that you're salivating for these four steps. I want you to write these down. I want you to re listen to this podcast. I want you to put these on your mirror because if you actually follow through with these, you are going to change your life in the shortest amount of time that you can possibly imagine. So when a challenge arises, when you. Once you've set your goal and you have the first challenge. I don't know what to do. What should I do? Here's the questions. All right. What feels the most challenging right now? This is what you have to figure out. I'm not sure if I should. And I'm just gonna use it right now because you can use it for whatever you want. I'm not sure if I should join this mastermind that I really want to join. For you. It might be. I'm not sure if I want to hire this coach. I'm not sure if I want to pay for this program. I'm not sure if I should go to this event. I'm not sure if I should go set that coffee date with that person that I know is up leveled. I'm not sure if I should ask those 25 people to make sure I can get one. Yes. If somebody would be interested in going to coffee with me or going for a workout in exchange for a couple questions or whatever that looks like. I'm not sure. So here's what you're gonna do. What's the challenge? Write it down. What is the challenge? I'm not sure if I should blank or. Let's use another example while we do this. I don't wanna have that tough conversation with my friends because they think that I'm leaving them behind because I have all of these goals and they don't support me or insert husband, spouse, partner. I don't wanna have that tough conversation with my husband because I'm afraid that he might feel challenged and wanna leave if I' growing. I don't want to have that tough conversation with my mother who doesn't support what I do and is constantly nagging me. I don't want to have that tough conversation with my in laws or my mother in law who is constantly giving me a hard time about X, y and Z or who's constantly acting in a certain way and I don't want to tolerate it anymore. What is the challenge? Write down the challenge. I want you to do this one at a time. If you literally. Here's the deal. If you have like 30 challenges because you have not been facing your shit and you've been shoving it in a closet, here's how you start pulling it out. Go over to the closet, carefully, whatever that is, close your eyes carefully and say, what would be the easiest challenge that I could solve first? You want to give yourself the easiest challenge that you could solve first to prove to yourself. Start proving to yourself that you can do this. So write that first easy challenge down and then next what I want you to do is right. Step number two. So step number one is what's the challenge? And remember, the challenge is the way. So what's the way through this? What's the way to my goal? What's the way to hope and happiness? The challenge is the way, right? So number two, what's the logical solution to this? What do I feel in my gut is the most logical solution to this? Now you're not saying you're not thinking of any of the outcomes yet you're not thinking of the end when you're answering this question. What's the most logical solution to this? There might be a couple and don't think about, well, I don't want to do that because that's the hard one. Write down the most logical solution that would solve it. Okay, so the most logical solution for dealing with tough conversations would be to plan a time to have the tough conversation and plan out the conversation in the most loving way. Never ever blame. I always say whenever there's something tough or challenging my life, I'm going to take all of the I'm going to do my best to take all of the blame and have the conversation from that place in the most loving, loving way. And if they're not going to come your way or decide to have a conversation or negotiate or talk or be civil. If you're doing that, then that's how you know what your outcome should be. That's how you know maybe it's time to move on, let go, forgive them, and just move forward without them in your life or with a lot less of them in your life with more boundaries. That's how you know. So write out all of the solutions. Choose the most logical one, not the easiest one, the one that's going to get you the best solution. And then, you know, number three is just to look at them and say, what are my choices in this? So if this is the solution, what are my actual choices? How am I going to have this conversation? What is this going to look like? And then number four is what's the outcome of each choice? So if you really want to play, it's called playing it to the end. And I do this in my life all of the time because a lot of the choices from number two and three, what's the solution number three, what are my choices in these solutions? How do I actually, like, make these happen? What's going to happen is they're not going to feel fun. So you have to play the outcome to the end. Because if you pick the easiest one, the outcome might be that you're in the same place boat, right? If you pick the easiest one, well, I'll just avoid it a little longer. Well, I might just have a quick conversation, but I'm not actually going to enforce those boundaries. Well, I'm not actually going to tell them how I really feel. I'm going to let them kind of overtake the conversation like they always do and not stand my ground. And then I'm going to be in the same place. So play the choices all the way to the end. Pick the one with the ending that you want. Because you're going to end up either in the same boat, resenting someone sick or stressed out or worse, or you're going to face it and tear the freaking band aid off. We can do this. We have a voice. We have a backbone. You just haven't used it in a long time. Access it, use it on this small problem, and then you get to start using it on the bigger ones. I'm telling you, you're going to become so addicted to this. You're going to be like, what's my next conversation? What's the next thing that doesn't feel right in my life? What's been feeling out of sorts? What's been feeling Chaotic. I literally cannot wait to start doing this because you will feel freedom beyond wildest dreams and downloads and access to that connection that everybody talks about that maybe you don't understand because your life is way too cluttered with all of these people who aren't good for you and all of these things and all of these energy drains. You will start to understand what this is that us crazy people are talking about who start doing this work of clearing, of having conversations, of doing the hard thing of facing our fears. You will understand and be like, I'm never going back. I'm never going back. I am free. And it feels so good to be me, and it feels so good to use my voice. And yes, I have some pain over here. Yes, these people are talking shit about me. Yes, this is going on. But I'm building my tribe over here. I'm moving forward. I am focusing on my goals. I am so in the vision that it doesn't matter about everything else. The challenges don't matter because I'm so in the vision that it's pulling me forward. I'm visualizing every day meditating. I am saying prayers. I am walking through all of these challenges and asking for help. I am getting the support I need because I'm using my voice. I'm doing the things that are hard. I'm joining those groups. I'm doing all of the things and it's working because I'm consistent every single day. And I've had people who write me and they're like, hey, I've been doing this for like six weeks now or six months. I'm like, keep going, keep going. Because you didn't get in the spot that you're in in six weeks or six months. You got in that spot over 20 years or 30 years or 40 years or 60 years or however old you are. Hey, guys, this is the perfect spot to take a break because I have to tell you some exciting news. Our famous FAST Foundations Mastermind is open again for enrollment. This is a mastermind that my husband, Chris Harder and I put on for entry level early stage entrepreneurs. And this is the only way to be able to with Chris and I together in a room, in person. I can promise you that this is literally one of the best masterminds out there for half the price. But I want you to listen in to some of these transformations that happen when you are in the room. And you guys know if you listen to this podcast that I always tell you, just show up for yourself and get your butt in the room. So Listen into these My name is Kat golden and not only did Fast Foundations help me scale to a multiple six figure income in under a year, I was able to establish myself as an authority. Thank you so much Chris and Laurie. Truly forever grateful. My name is Alex street and Fast Foundations helped me build my first course and confidently now do what I'm made for. Fast Foundations was the best thing I did in 2019 for my growth. I received all of the skills that I needed for marketing and PR and gained access to really high level entrepreneurs and their insider secrets that I would not have been able to get outside of Fast Foundations. My name is Joanna Vargas and Fast Foundations helped me double my profit. I learned how to up level my client experience and I invest more to make more now. It was truly a game changer for me. I saw measurable results right away and helped get me through any challenge and it's priceless. But also it was a game changer in the people that I connected with. Fast foundation was awesome. Okay, so here's the deal. All of those breakthroughs that you just heard, none of those people felt ready to be in that room. And I know you're sitting here thinking, I'm not even sure if I'm there yet. But let me tell you, if you make less than 499,000 a year, we want to lock arms with you to make your business explode and make you feel confident in all of the areas that you don't yet feel confident in. And I will tell you as an entrepreneur, you never feel ready. You never ever feel ready. It's all about taking that leap and showing up for yourself. So over the next five and a half months, we want to lock arms with you. And spots are super limited. So go over to fastfoundations.com right now because we want to work with you. We want you in this room. And as you can hear from the transformation, it is your turn now to have that same experience. So let's get back to the interview.

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So you have to unravel that knot right. You have to Unravel that knot. So it's funny. It's like jewelry. Like jewelry. Somehow when you travel turns into a knot in like two seconds. But unraveling it can take hours. That's literally how it is in life. Unraveling all of those things and unlearning them and untying certain people who have been tied to you is going to take a while, especially energies energetically. It feels like a loss, even though it's freedom. So give yourself time. Give yourself so much grace and love on this journey that you are going to get through. And stay in the vision. Stay in the vision. Keep seeing yourself as the woman that you are, as the person that you are. Keep seeing yourself in the vision. Keep feeling it. Keep seeing those people around you. Keep seeing what you're doing. Keep feeling it. Keep like imagining to your bones who you are and what you're doing and how you're speaking and how your day looks and who you're surrounded by. You have to do this. You have to let the vision pull you. But it is work. I don't wake up every day and choose to see myself as my highest self. Like, I have to put in work to do that. Or low level. Lori comes out because she's freaking tired and stressed out and she wants a break and she wants to eat whatever she wants and she wants days where she maybe she doesn't work out and I honor that if that's the case. But honestly, my low self has a really loud voice and my higher self kind of whispers. So I got to tune in and be like, what is she saying? What does she need? What support does she need? If I play this out to the end, what do I really want? Do I really want to not work out or go for that walk? Do I really want to eat all that food? Because what's it going to look like tonight when my head hits the pillow and I don't feel good and my brain is foggy and I didn't show up for certain things or I canceled things because I did not feel well, even though I know my highest self really wanted that. That's how my brain thinks. I'm always thinking it all the way to the end. And they say that that is the trait of the people who will move through and get what they want out of life. Play it till the end. So these four steps are going to help you do that. What's the challenge? What are the solutions? What are my choices? What's the outcome of each choice? Play it to the end. Choose. And then Just execute, execute. You want to know the most beautiful thing together? Grace and execution. If you just had massive grace for yourself and then executed on everything that you wanted, that's like the magical combination, grace and execution. It's like, so much feminine with so much masculine together. It's a beautiful dance of getting it done and having grace on yourself and also giving yourself exactly what you need around it. Grace and execution. Freaking love that. Grexicution. I don't know, it kind of sounds a little scary, but I like it. Grexicution. Maybe I'll get a tattoo and everyone will be perplexed. What does that weirdo have all over her arms? Okay, so do you get this? Are you guys getting this today? So I want you to share this, and I want you to post what it is, what the challenge is that you are moving through and what you're gonna do. So you're proclaiming it. At least post the challenge. At least post the challenge. I want you to proclaim it on social media. I wanna know what it is that you're moving through, because that's how I actually get to know who I'm talking to and what my next topic should be. And I just want you to do it. Everyone else is everyone that you're looking up to, whatever that means. Everyone that you are thinking has what you want, is doing it, is going through these pains, is going through the struggle. We just don't post on social media. You wouldn't follow us. We wouldn't be like, it's been another tough Monday for me. And you'd be like, whatever, blah, blah, blah, right? You'd be like, oh, my God, this person's so negative. We don't post all of the negative. We post the positive. Right? So, yes, there is some things that we always share, but we can't be like, hey, really struggling again today. Really struggling again today. Really struggling again today. Like, that's not how it works. But this podcast is the perfect place to be. Like, hey, we all struggle every day. I had someone just say, who joined the Mastermind yesterday. She was like, you know, here's what I'm most afraid of, is, like, getting up in front of the room. And when I think of getting in these rooms, I'm so anxious and I'm so nervous. And I was like, yeah, me too. Like, I walk into that room and I'm so nervous. Am I going to offer the value that everybody's expecting? Why am I having a mini anxiety attack in front of this room? How do I always get so Nervous. Why do my armpits sweat so bad in this room? You guys, we're all going through it, but we face it. The difference is you just keep facing it. That's my normal. My new normal is facing it. Because I started facing it in my low 30s, right? I ran in my 20s. It's all I did. I might as well have just like that. You couldn't even see me from the front because I was always running. I was constantly like, I'm out of here. This is hard. I have it bad. I didn't go to college. My whole family has anxiety. I struggle. I didn't come from money. All I did was watch people lose things, lose people lose money, lose homes. That was me in my 20s. That was me blaming everything. And then I got to the point where blaming was too painful. It was just too much. I couldn't take it anymore. I was so tired of my own shit that I had to change. I hope you're there. I hope you're so disgusted with the choices that you're making that you have some grace and say, hey, that's cool. It's great that you've been doing that. Everybody does this. This is human nature. We want to protect ourselves. Yeah, you didn't have it easy. Yeah, you could sit here and blame because everybody would understand. Yeah, you're freaking amazing and you're not quite living up to that yet. But it's time. Let's show them one by one. And believe me, people aren't going to see it right away. I've been guilty of not seeing people's talents. I've been guilty of. Or I've also had people not see who I am for years and years and years. I've been turned down by so many people. I'm getting turned down right now for things because in the circles and in the levels that I'm going to, they don't see what I see yet. They don't see the vision. Forgive them, let it go. They can't see it. You're not showing them right. You're not quite showing them yet. You haven't been consistent as many years as they have. So forgive them, move on. They're not your people. They're not anointing you. You are cut out the middleman and keep doing the do. Even if people don't see you, even if people can't see you yet. That's when you have to do it. That's when changes will start to happen, is when you're not reliant upon other people for Anointing you or giving you what you need and oh, you want to be. Here's the deal. Like, I was at a place where I was like, you know what? I want to be on a magazine cover so bad. This was years ago. Obviously, it doesn't mean as much anymore. I was like, I will get to a place where I just make my own damn magazine. Like, that's the attitude that you have to have. Like, I want to work for this company so bad because it's so cool. We'll get to a place where maybe you have your own business that's like it so that you get seen. And they're like, whoa, this person's a hustler. This is going to. To. This is the type of person I want to work with. They're already making it happen. High level people want to work with people who are already making it happen. Not people who are like, hey, see me, see me, see me, see me. Maybe you can help me move forward. Just make it happen. Go out and make it happen. Don't rely on anyone else. Pretend like there's nobody else and start making it happen. But utilize people at your level. Utilize coaches, utilize all of the things that can help you. Don't just go out off alone completely without asking for help. But what I mean is get the help and make it happen. Get the help and make it happen. Have the tribe and make it happen. Do it together, Right? But we're never relying on one person for our success. We're never relying on one thing for success. That's on. That's on us. That's on you. All right, you guys. So I am fired up this morning. Apparently mornings are a really great time for me to do these quickies. But those are your four steps. Steps to move through, become who you want to be, change your life, do all of the things. Let me know what you're going to do. You can even share those four steps with me. Number one, the challenge. Two, what's the solution? Three, what are my choices? Four, what's the outcome of each of the choices? What am I going to do? Right, Just the challenge and what are you going to do? Okay, so share that on social media. Tag me, because I love to see who I am talking to every single day. And I'm sending you. So much love, you guys. If you've ever gotten anything out of this, this free podcast, it would mean the world to me if you would just go rate and review it and share it with friends. I am really, really trying to get this podcast out in the world in an even bigger way. Because I want to talk to all of you. I know that I am talking to people who are even, you know, I imagine I'm talking to people who are even a year to three to five years to 10 years behind where I'm at. And I want to talk to all those people. I want to reach them, grab their hands and say, I don't care if you were the underdog. I don't care where you came from. I don't care like it does. Your vision doesn't discriminate. Right? I think what's the quote? And I can't remember who it's by, but it's God doesn't anoint the called God calls. Oh, I'm messing it up. I'm totally screwed up. And I'm leaving this in the podcast. So it's really talking about how it's not about being anointed or called. It's about having the vision. And he's going to help you get there. He's going to anoint you for that vision. So there you go. I like to leave everything in here. I make sure that they don't edit this one because I want you to hear all the imperfections of just like, who cares? If I was to go back and correct all the things, I would never get this done. I would never show up in this room because it would feel too hard and I would put too much pressure on myself. So. So there is your horrible slaughtered quote of the day that if you got the gist of it, you got the gist of it. So I'm sending you guys so much love again, if you love this podcast, Share it rate review. That would mean the world to me and I would also love to see what you thought on Instagram and what you're going to do. So until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on these earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.