494. Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about GROWTH answered

We're more familiar with the devil of overwhelm and potentially, like, feeling like we're disappointing people and anxiety than we are with saying no. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business, and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to questionably awesome, where I am sitting with my co host, Evans Craddock. And also we have a special guest today, Lindsay Schwartz. This is so much fun.

I plan my visits to see you around casually being here for Questionably Awesome.

It's so funny. I told her last night, Evans, I was like, just so happens that tomorrow is Thursday and we record.

And she was like, oh, I pretended to be perfect.

Oh, really strange.

What an honor. Not just a pretty face, people.

What an honor to sit next to you.

This is so much fun. I can't even take it. We actually should have hit record about 10 minutes ago, to be honest, because I. I feel as though our good content really was just not being recorded.

It's already over.

Yeah.

So we're gonna start by. So normally we do quotes, but I thought it'd be so much fun this morning to pull a card from this Gabby Bernstein deck and just talk about how it potentially applies to your life. You have to make it smart. Like, just make it sound like we're really smart. Are you ready? Who wants to go first?

I literally just, like, thought that was my. I had to go first, so.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're the guest. You're the special guest. So anything that we ask, you have to answer or do.

Oh, it has, like, really pretty fall foliage on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's giving me fall vibes. This is what it says. My capacity to tune in to the energy of love gives me the words I need when I'm ready to speak up, the compassion I need when it's time to forgive, and the power I need when I am lost.

Hmm. How does that apply to your life?

Could be the whole podcast right now.

Yeah.

How does that apply to your life?

Okay.

So I love how it talks about the energy of love because oftentimes if I need more compassion, if I need to forgive, if I need more power, it's because I'm focusing on something else. It's definitely not love. So I love that because I do believe that I could probably use some more compassion, forgiveness, and power.

Amen.

So we love to just dig even deeper and put you on the spot. What is something that you need to apply love to in your life right now where you're feeling like a raging bitch?

Yeah.

Let it out.

Let's hear it.

Let me really get there.

Okay.

So I get really uncomfortable when I have to have really hard conversations. It makes me sweat just thinking about saying my armpits just so. There was a project that was turned back to me for my business that isn't up to par at all, and I need to have a conversation about that. And I'm sweating right now just thinking about having to have a conversation.

Yeah. Yeah. How do you plan those?

I was hoping you guys would tell me. No, I think I. Here's what I've done. I didn't respond right away.

In the moment.

Yeah.

Because that version of me isn't my favorite.

Yeah.

I actually looked at it from compassion. Then I started, like, full on making excuses for them. And then I thought, well, maybe I don't.

Maybe I lean too far. The pendulum just swung really far on compassion. You're like, I feel so bad that this person did a bad job.

I was, like, ready to apologize to them for turning in something that, like, wasn't maybe up to my. Up to what?

The work. So we're seeing both sides.

Great.

Okay.

So now where I'm at, though, is I actually. I wait until I get to a point where I don't have, like, that charge around it.

Yes.

Only been a couple of days. But I also. This year, I'm really leaning into being more bold, meaning being the person that is willing to have that conversation in love. So I know I'm looking at it more from a standpoint of I'm going to grow in some way from getting to have this conversation. That's how I'm tricking myself into being excited about it.

I love that.

I think that's.

I think today is all about growth as well. So. Awesome. You know who's growing really fast? Bananas.

Bananas.

He grows.

He grows. He literally. Are you ready for the actual pace? Yeah. He grows two and a half pounds per week. He's literally on my December Christmas plan, I was like, this is how fast I grow during the month of from November, like, 24th through January 1st. I'm like, huh? Is he reading my food journal? Interesting.

Currently on that same plan.

Working well.

Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Are you ready, Evans?

I'm ready.

Okay. Here you go. She's drawing a card. Ooh, yours is so cool.

Oh, it's really cool. It's like, purpley with the moon. And it said, there is nothing sexier than my authentic truth. Oh.

Do you know why I love this? Because you really get hot and flustered with anything having to do with sex or.

I do.

I saw that word on there, and I started blushing.

This is hilarious.

You don't have any spots yet. Oh, yeah. You're getting one. You're getting one. Yeah. She gets blotchy when she gets embarrassed.

Oh, yeah. Which is pretty much all the time.

Why does this apply to you? What is this? Let's dig. Let's dig deeper than you want to go right now.

I don't know if anyone out there can relate, but I have a hard time channeling my inner sexy goddess.

Yeah. Which I know about you.

I know it's in there.

I see you in leather and stilettos and whips. Like, I see that for you.

This.

Do you guys have. Okay, so I have a Rent the Runway membership, which you get normal clothes on.

Yeah.

And Adam's always like, you should get a leather jacket. And I'm like, I'm not a leather jacket person. And he's like, just do it.

Just, like, try it out.

Yeah.

You know what this card means?

What?

Get a leather jacket from Rent the Runway. Oh.

Will you do me a favor after this? I was gonna say we. Let's do my leather jacket and your leather jacket, because I'm guessing that they're probably, like, the really cute, flattering leather jackets, because there are a lot of leather jackets that I try on. Like, people try to bring me leather jackets, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. I'm now a part of a bunch biker gang. I'm so sorry.

This is what I step over that.

This is what I do. I forget to share pieces of this story. Like, Chris is like, you're thinking in your head again and only sharing one part of the story. When I'm in fitting rooms at the stores, I like to shop in people.

Hell's angels.

Just shopping.

I've got a leather jacket delivery. Tried on.

Does this.

This is suitable for you. And I'm like, stop bringing me leather jackets.

For the last time.

The last time. I don't want it, so. But they bring me leather jackets that are very like bikery. Like they. And I just can't get down with.

A lot of buckles.

I just completely feel like I'm supposed to be a part of a gang. Like I. Yeah, I just.

That's how I feel.

I'm like.

I feel like I'm more of a denim jacket. I love a denim jacket.

Yeah, you rob a good denim jacket.

Denim jacket, though, is just to actually try it on and. And ask yourself, who is Evans in a leather jacket? Yeah, I wore combat boots yesterday. And how did that make you feel?

Good.

Well, a four year old in the airport complimented me on them, so I think I played. I mean, I really pulled it off.

Oh.

If the children respond, that's what I.

Base all my fashion off of. If children respond. Yeah. I think a good stylist will create a program like that. Look, we've got a lineup of six year olds here.

They're brutally honest. They are brutally honest.

They really are.

Or when you have a garment or.

Something, they'll be like, what's on your. Like that's just life.

That's called life in a little molehill.

Yeah, I think it's. This is what you should do. So you put on a leather jacket, but you go somewhere that no one knows who you are. You can literally, it's like acting. You can be whoever you want. That's why I do it in airports. That's cool. No one knows who I am. So they probably thought, oh, this chick.

Wears combat boots all the time.

She's probably like in combat.

Yeah, yeah.

Or something.

She's probably in com.

Yeah, look at her. She's in combat. And I also love you. You try things out at the airport because you know what?

That's.

It's not like we can just frequent airports. Like, so are you telling me you kind of like go in, you don't go through security, or are you actually catching flights quite often?

Oh, yeah, that's a great question.

You're just at the ticket kiosk.

I thought of that. Maybe I'll start.

Yeah. You're like, I don't have a flight today, but I'm going to go check out what the Delta counter is going to like, what the Delta people think.

Of this leather jacket.

They were like, are you sky priority? And you're like, yeah, I am today.

I am not going anywhere today.

But I look like I am, so.

All right.

Pretty sure that's my turn. My cue. Yeah. Okay, we're gonna grab this one and it says, my fearless freedom lights up the world.

Ooh.

Hey.

Hello.

This is a good one for me because I'm thinking of what I'm going to start bliss out with. And I always try to do something that kind of pushes my edges, like bliss. If they don't know what bliss is, I think some people are like, what is this bliss she's talking about? Yeah, it's the bliss project. But I'm thinking about what I'm gonna open this event with, and I always try to push myself. And we were talking about this last night. You said that when I did the scary thing last year, I opened it up with a group of women singing on stage. Cause I was like, hey, I'm probably. I know this sounds crazy, but I'm probably not gonna get picked to create my own Beyonce concert anytime soon by anyone epic out in the world. So I have to create my own. That's always kind of been the thing, and I know that you've done that too, Lindsay. Creating your own. If it. If it. You know, if you want to be a part of it, if you want to be a celebrity, if you want to be a singer, I'm so sorry, but you have to create your own stage, most likely, no matter what. I think that even is true, probably for celebrities in the beginning.

So we're on.

We're on the path, guys. We're on the path to being a celebrity. So my fearless freedom lights up the world. I think when I give myself massive permission is when other people are like, sometimes we get caught up. We. Sometimes I get caught up thinking that I have to deliver something, like super genius or something. I have to do something really huge that has to shift, or I have to create this massive transformation for people by doing, I don't know, something that feels too big for me. And then I remember if I give myself permission to do something that I want to do, that's actually the exact thing that they need to see. So it's speaking volumes. Bigger than we think we even have to prepare is just to be yourself and show up in the version that you actually want to show up in. So I love this card.

That's an awesome card.

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Do you have a review? Oh, yeah.

So the review is coming up hot, right?

Right now. This is called what you do when you become a professional and you learn that goes wrong all the time. So you talk slow or you talk about your day or you distract people.

I forgot my password.

Do you ever try to, like.

Yeah.

Enter your password when you're under pressure? I just watched Evan do this and I'm like, what computer is this?

Who am I? Okay, this review of the week is from Clunker is the username I already like love.

Oh, Clunker, I love that so much.

Me too.

I just.

Yeah, we're all clunkers. Clunker says you complete my Wednesday morning. Thank you, Lori and Evans, for this hilarious learning experience. Wednesday mornings, I take a 5:30 spin class.

Ooh.

And I'm always so excited to know I get to listen to you both on my way home and through my morning commute. You are always so on point with what I need to hear and learn. If there's an award ceremony for your podcast, I will be in the front tie raising my champagne glass to you.

Both of you lovely ladies.

Thanks again and please never stop this awesomeness.

Oh, my God.

Can we start every morning with a good clunker?

Whoa.

I really need this person in my life. I'm mildly obsessed with.

Me too.

Her. I can't. I can't tell.

Celeste.

Celeste. Okay, Celeste. Amazing. Celeste. I love you. Make sure you write customer serviceauriharder.com I got it right this time. Yes, I did. I knew my own email. I'm so proud of myself. Write into customer serviceloriharder.com and we will send you something super awesome.

Yeah. And way to go to 5:30 spin class.

Good. Who does that? My God. Does the world begin at that time? It does for Celeste, I think. I think my camera lady, Alyssa, starts her day at. What time do you start your day?

Four.

She starts at four. I don't even understand. No, I don't.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Like, no, I don't understand. Apparently, the world is awake at 4. Some. Some people like, she's one of the two in the universe. So I'm gonna have to sit down with her one day and ask her what happens in the world at 4:00am it feels like a dangerous place at 4. Like, I woke up at 3 to take out bananas last night, and 3:00 clock felt a bit E. Weary.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't like 3 o' clock for.

Sure when crime happens for sure.

I literally looked over the gate and was like, if somebody came to commit a crime right now, I would see them and catch them, and they'd be like, oh, I wasn't expecting you here. I'd be like, I didn't think you were wrong. Yeah. I didn't expect a 3 o' clock person on the lookout. I was like, huh?

The leather jacket people wait for you.

At 3am that's what they're.

Maybe she'll come out. We don't want to do a crime. We want you to try this on to see if it's a fit.

I was gonna suggest maybe wear a leather jacket when you're up at three, because.

Yeah. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna buy one of those leather jackets that I don't like.

Yeah.

For my 3am bananas takeout. That's gonna be Lindsay's combat boots. Oh, dang.

Ain't nobody messing with combat boots.

Yeah.

I'm just. It's gonna be a good plan for me to keep it safe around these parts, for sure. I'll go on the neighborhood app and just upload a picture and be like, nobody has to worry anymore.

Neighborhood watch has arrived.

All of this distress with all of these neighbors freaking out over things. Like, they'll just. They'll look at the picture and be like, our angel has arrived.

Okay.

All right.

So do we have a question?

Yeah.

It's about growth.

Well, I'm really excited about.

Here we go.

Here we grow.

Here we grow from at Heather IV 004, tips on explaining your growth to your partner so it affects your relationship in a positive way.

Hmm. Linds, why don't you take this one first?

Great one. I've had a lot of experience doing this the wrong way.

Same.

So in my relationship, I love to grow. I am the one who will listen to an audiobook while I'm also reading two physical books and love to go to all the things. So I. I think the biggest thing for me was where it affected my relationship, maybe in a negative way, is when I had an expectation around how he would respond. Like, we even did personal development courses together. And I remember the first one we ever, ever did. I blew up at him because I was like, you're not having a breakdown. Like, I'm having a breakdown.

You're not growing.

Are you even getting this? And he is the most miraculous human ever. He was like, okay, calm down. So I had to remove my expectation and Just share my excitement for where I was at on the journey without having any. Expect that. Because I think that's where we go wrong is we hope that our partner will be like, that sounds amazing. Why don't I go to that course or read that book? So instead, just allowing him to be like that sounding board for my excitement without any expectation.

Yes.

You're so wise, Lindsay.

What did I say?

Yeah, I blacked out. So when I listen to this again, are we gonna. This is a good question for you guys. Are you going to listen to this.

Episode when it's out, it's gonna be my alarm.

I don't wake up voice.

What?

You don't like your voice? No, I love your voice.

I don't like it.

What would you want your voice to sound like if you could pick a celebrity?

Morgan Freeman.

Shut your face. That's amazing.

If I was Morgan Freeman on this, man, I'm gonna pretend I'm Morgan Freeman.

Would you please continue?

Sorry.

No, it's your turn.

Oh. Tips on explaining your growth to your partner so it affects your relationship in a positive way. I think that you. I think.

Well, I guess it.

Oh, man. I'm really struggling right now.

I love this. I'm like, very happy about it. I'm counting the blotches on your neck. So.

So, Lindsay, you said you're the one in your relationship that really does a lot of like, I'm going to this conference, things like that. I'm more of like a reader where Adam will go to events and things like that. So I feel like it's oftentimes he's pushing us to do more growth related activities.

Oh, I love this.

Isn't that cool?

That's like an awesome flip of perspective.

Yeah, total flip of perspective. And what I really like about what he does is kind of setting time to like, put your goals together and making it more fun so it's not as intimidating. Like we'll go to a really cool park or something like that. And it doesn't have to be like, let's go to this whiteboard and write down our strategies. Even though whiteboards are amazing and I love them, but just kind of thinking about how your partner would respond and maybe not doing it in a scary way. Because sometimes when I see these conferences.

That it goes to, I get really.

Intimidated and I'm like, oh, you're gonna have all these ideas and come back.

And be and not like me.

You're have these big ideas and we're just gonna. You're not allowed to have big ideas.

Mr. You're just gonna not like me.

Which is so not true. It only benefits your relationship.

Oh, my God. Can we just point out what you just said? Because this is what people totally forget. Like, how you were probably taking it a little personal. Like, I want you to have this break, break breakthrough or this breakdown. Why aren't you reacting the same way? We forget that the other person is most likely their fear is like, you're gonna go and grow and you're gonna leave me behind. Like, you may not like me. And we don't take that into consideration. It's such a. It. It's such a beautiful perspective of realizing, wait, how do I just acknowledge that? Like, so, for. For Chris and I. I was just so annoyed. I was such a pusher. I was like a drug pusher on him for personal development. And he absolutely was like, someone plan. He was like, say no to personal development. Like, hardcore. That's what his T shirt said. He was just like, no, I'm not going to meditate. I'm definitely not. Like, it was all like, that stupid. Like this. What are they doing? Like, you know, all of the things. And I was really feeling a pull towards. I went to, like, the extreme end for a while. Like, I wanted to be in the jungle, meditate. Like, I didn't want to just meditate. That wasn't enough. I wanted to be, like, in the jungle with the monkeys, like, meditating. And that was a little extreme for him. And I. I essentially lied to him on a couple things and strung him along and brought him to things that were very scary for him. And I realized while it was perfect for us later, it was not the best route to go because if I. He. I decided to just kind of let him have his own journey after that. Kind of like you, Lindsay, having that realization. And it's funny how he starts picking up just by me being me and letting me go on my journey and let it be okay that he doesn't have to come along. But you guys, this took me, like, a good year to let him have his own experience and stop pushing personal development on him. Then he started kind of, like, seeing what was working. And a lot of the things that I was saying were kind of helping him get through some of his problems and his stuff, like, really having a different perspective on it, like, coming from a place of love and watching the results from that. And the results were undeniable. How it was showing up in our life instead of coming from a place that was very reactive. So I think through a year of a lot of really hard challenges that were coming up in our business because of growth. We were on a really fast growth path. That he was like, wow, it's kind of undeniable what coming from a place of love is doing. Rather than. He was very, like, he wanted to react, he wanted to solve, he wanted to blow up. He wanted to prove to people that he was right and they were wrong and how could they wrong us and X, Y, and Z. And that just was not. That was creating a lot more problems for us. So letting him kind of figure that out by me using what I knew and really backing down, even though I had moments where I was like, oh, man, is this gonna be the relate. Like, is this. Am I in the wrong relationship? Because it was very. Like, I was not happy sometimes with him, and I wanted to be like, I don't want to be with someone who thinks this way. Like, I. He. He was really temperamental, and I was like, maybe this is not gonna be the right path for me. So just hanging in there, even when you feel that and knowing that your partner, it always takes time. And you guys. I know he felt that way with me around, like, business stuff, because he was like, oh, my God, she blows up when we talk about numbers. And he likes to have a strategy and a plan, and I'm very, like, whimsical. Like, you just need to pray about it and meditate.

Go to the jungle.

Exactly. And he was like, oh, my God, if you mentioned the jungle one more time, like, why do you need to go to the jungle? I don't know what that was either, but. But it was very important for me.

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You'll be glad you did it. There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be one of them for you.

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Hey guys, this is the perfect spot to take a break because I have to tell you some exciting news. Our famous Fast Foundations Mastermind is open again for enrollment. This is a mastermind that my husband Chris Harder and I put on for entry level early stage entrepreneurs. And this is the only way to be able to work with Chris and I together in a room in person. I can promise you that this is, this is literally one of the best masterminds out there for half the price. But I want you to listen in to some of these transformations that happen when you are in the room. And you guys know if you listen to this podcast that I always tell you, just show up for yourself and get your butt in the room. So listen into these hey guys, my.

Name is Michael Dash and Fast Foundations really helped me get clear on my coaching strategy they also did a great job in giving me some creative ideas. And I specifically credit Chris and Lori to coming up with some fantastic strategies. It is a no brainer to join this mastermind. Fast Foundations was awesome.

Hey, my name is Jackie Service. And the Fast Foundations mastermind helped me to ignite my business and see rapid growth financially while staying aligned in both business and life.

Fast Foundation's mastermind not only helped increase my financial literacy and improve my digital marketing skills, but the power, the true power, was in all of the relationships built and the collective knowledge of the other Mastermind participants. Okay, so here's the deal. All of those breakthroughs that you just heard, none of those people felt ready to be in that room. And I know you're sitting here thinking, I'm not even sure if I'm there yet. But let me tell you, if you make less than 499,000 a year, we want to lock arms with you to make your business explode and make you feel confident in all of the areas that you don't yet feel confident in. And I will tell you, as an entrepreneur, you never feel ready. You never, ever feel ready. It's all about taking that leap and showing up for yourself. So over the next five years, five and a half months, we want to lock arms with you. And spots are super limited. So go over to fastfoundations.com right now because we want to work with you. We want you in this room. And as you can hear from the transformation, it is your turn now to have that same experience. So let's get back to the interview. What's the next question?

Oh, the next question.

I think I just turned into a rambler.

No, I like it. That was all really good. Good.

This is from Agnes. How do you know if walking away from relationships will help you grow.

Anyone?

You don't.

Bueller.

You don't know.

You don't. You just don't.

You don't.

You take the leap and you. Oh, here, here's what I know. Okay? So when I'm in relationships that are not helping me grow, when I'm around the person, I feel contracted. Like, I just. My solar plexus is freaking out. I feel like a little bit flustered. Like, I sometimes I don't know what to, like, even right down to, like, physical symptoms of. I don't know what to do with my hands. I'm not really comfortable. I feel like I couldn't speak my truth or be me even if I tried. Like, I'm like, come on, you know how to be you why is nothing coming out of your mouth or you can't share the things that you really love with this person. That's how I know it's time to either completely cut them out or move forward in a way that kind of phases them out gently or just to kind of let the relationship fizzle out on its own by you not doing as much interaction with this person. Maybe they text you and you don't text back the first 30 seconds. Maybe it's later in that day, or maybe it's the next day or whatever that looks like. And I think that that is when I know it's just very clear to me that it's time to let this person go so that I can grow. Because it feels. Instead of feeling expansive, like leaving somebody and you're like, new ideas and energy, you feel like a. A lot of energy when you're in that particular interaction with someone. That's when I know that it's time to go. When I feel really stuck, I'm just.

Concerned because I never know what to do with my hands, so.

Oh, I don't either. Right when I. Oh, no. Right when I said that, I was playing with these cards, by the way, I've been shuffling this deck underneath this table the whole time. I was like, all I need is a deck of 60 cards. Whenever I'm talking to someone. This is so helpful. Can you imagine if I'm. We're all standing in a circle, just shuffling cards. Be like, this is what I do with my hands. It's great.

I keep them busy. But I love what you said about something feeling expansive. And I feel like anyone who's asking themselves this question, which I've so been there too. You kind of know that's probably a relationship that you are outgrowing, at least in this season. And we're more questioning, how do I do this and what are they gonna think of me? Like, it's some of wrestling with some of those. The consequences of starting to. To grow in a different direction from this person. So even, like, give yourself permission to, like, take a break, Take a friend break. You don't need to, like, decide to cut it off right now.

Sure.

Notice how you feel if, like, go into different scenarios, go to different events, start putting yourself around different energy. And I think for me, once I feel like those expansive relationships, which. That's why I invite myself over to your house like that. At least quarterly. At least quarterly.

Yes.

Because make it a normal thing when we're all together. I didn't know what I was Missing until I started to do different things and put myself around different people and experiencing that different energy. I was just using my hands a lot during that. I'm like, very aware now of my hands.

Hey, but you use them so beautifully, like a ballerina. It was amazing.

I love every bit of that. It's so true. Just try it on. And also, I don't think for me personally, I feel like my good friendship, they don't feel like work.

You know what I mean?

Right?

Totally.

It doesn't feel hard and awful and dramatic.

Wow. Yes. No, but that's so true. You know what you just like, mirrored to me with that is I do have some relationships that do feel hard and like work. And I think even being able to separate those and be like, okay, this relationship actually serves me really well in business. But I can cut it right there. Like, it doesn't. We sometimes we put our relationships, especially as females in categories of, oh, well, I have to spend time with this person and we do really well in business together. But like, outside of that, the conversation is, you know, just not happening.

Hard.

Yeah, it's hard. So you can let it be that, like, and it doesn't have to be more than that. Why is it so challenging?

I don't know. It's like you feel this pressure, like, oh, they have to be my best friend or we have to be best friends and I have to be like them.

No, it's okay. Totally. I think different things, people's like, businesses grow, and I think that can be a big thing. That was a big thing for me even like last year thinking, how am I going to stretch myself so that I'm friends with like, my. Wasn't necessarily using the word friends, but so that I. I'm like, in a good relationship with all of our team and employees. And I was like, wait, this is going to grow to a place where I'm not going to be able to do that with everyone. Like, it's actually energetically not going to be possible. And you, you have to kind of like let that be okay no matter what scenario, whether this is your team or whether that is like, maybe you're growing a lot of relationships. Maybe your business is making you grow your network.

Like, yeah, so many things.

So many things. Do we have one more cue?

One more cue. This is from Lauren. Jewel, what is your go to strategy for finding clarity? I. E. Journaling, meditation.

I feel like you're good with this. Evan.

Me for finding clarity. Oh, wow. I would say go outside. That helps me.

Yeah.

Just being Quiet and being with mother Nature.

Yeah. Do you ask a question when you're in it? No, I'm the same exact way. Do you ask a question. So what is your, like, go to. So when you're going out in nature, what is the plan? Because some people are like, wait, I went out in nature and nothing happened. Nothing happened because I went out with my pissy attitude.

Yep.

And I think sometimes I just feel like if you're out there long enough, that pissy attitude is gonna go away.

It's very personally, you may not be.

A nature person, though. I don't know, maybe you're.

I don't know. Who's not a nature person? I think some people don't think they are. And if they. If we planted them out there long enough, they'd be like, this is nice. I'm a nature person.

Yeah, it's nice.

Yeah, it is.

I think I just go out there with, like, I just need to get outside and be an observer kind of and not think so much about it. And then your thoughts will just kind of open up freely.

That is so true. Actually, exactly what you is. What I've heard from so many people on this podcast is they go out in nature and they. They open up to observation and to wonder. Like, going out and just being like, just. Honestly, it's as simple as, like, look at the trees. Wonder, like, what type of tree it is. Like, are there animals in the tree? Is there fruit? And like, it's that simple. But it's literally life changing. Like, look. Look up in the sky. Just don't go out in nature and, like, look down at your feet. Right.

Or your phone.

Yes. Oh, my God, that's lame.

Lame.

Yes. Super lame. I was out on a walk yesterday and I had my phone because I was. Lindsay was coming in and I was wondering what time I needed to be back from my walk.

Yeah.

And I found myself in this addiction cycle of I had my phone out checking my texts, and then I was like, I'll just check this other text. And I was like, while I'm at it, I'm gonna check Instagram. And I turned into the person who was walking checking their phone, and I turn into the jerk who's, like, not looking at people around me and being like, oh, sorry, I almost ran into you. Um, and I just had a moment of, like, wow, this is miserable. I'm actually, like, I came out here to try to get off my phone after working all day, and I just noticed the feeling of what it feels like to be on Your phone out and doing something that you intentionally went out to like let go of the stress. Yeah. Do not bring your phone at all on your walk.

Or do I do for safety reasons. Yeah, just cause, you know, you gotta.

You gotta.

Safety first, Lindsey.

Safety first. But also don't look at your phone. Cause that is when crime happens. When you're distracted.

Well, what if you have a leather jacket while you're on your phone? Do you think you're safer?

Debatable. Does the leather jacket have spikes on the shoulders? I have some questions.

I will tell you. Well, for sure, Tiffany, who does the self defense. She would say that the leather jacket would actually deter an attacker. Because here's what we know from Tiffany who, who does programs on self defense. And she teaches self defense.

Fence.

Oh, I want to. So there was a. It's online. There's a survey. Oh yeah, it's online. She's gonna love this.

I know.

Wait, what's her program called?

Do you know what her website is?

The worst friend at all. Well, Tiffany Armstrong is her name. Look her up.

Yeah.

Online self defense curriculum for women. And a cool story of her own of how she. She disarmed her attacker with three simple moves.

Yeah, that's amazing. Sent him to prison. Right?

Right. Yes.

Which is crazy.

We're looking at your website right now, Tiffany. It's beautiful, street smart, self defense for women.

So I believe she was sharing a story on stage at Event Love about how your. They had sat down a bunch of previous like former criminals and people who had attacked people and they had them watch a camera of like a New York City sidewalk all day and pointing out who they were, would choose as their victims. And the victims were all people who looked already like kind of down or defenseless or distracted. Like literally they used the words like if they already looked like a victim in their life.

Oh my God, it could be like.

Huge dudes, like not who you would think. They didn't go for people who like were physically small. It was across the board. Just people who had more like their.

Shoulders down or their arms crossed or something.

I don't know.

I think it's more like victim mode. Like down on life, like head down, kind of like distracted. Things like that. So the leather jacket. Absolutely, yeah. With spikes.

Eye contact.

Yeah.

And your eye contact.

That's what she said. I literally, when I'm. When I'm running, I will have a lot of eye contact with a lot of the people I'm running by. Because I will tell you, Santa Monica is very sketch sometimes. Yes, Every day.

Every single day when I'm running. Yeah.

I'm like, okay, this is. I'm in a scary situation. Yeah. But that's every day. I'm kind of used to that. But I look right at them. I literally look at the groups of people who are hanging out on the sidewalk, and I'm like, nope, we're going to look at these people straight in the eye. And they usually look away. Like, they're like, oh, she's not messing around. And she has a leather jacket on. Yeah. Now I wear a leather jacket running, like. And combat boots. It's getting challenging, but nobody's messing with me.

Yep.

So, okay, I like that. We're going to circle up with some words of wisdom, meaning you have to pluck these out of the environment that you're in right now. Good luck with that. Good luck.

Because I'm talking to you about it since.

Okay, let's hear it. You start.

Ladies, listen up. I have a hot tip.

Hot tip.

How to get your partner to cook dinner for you every night. What's your title? I was telling Lori we've been eating a lot of smoked meats.

That's delicious.

My husband just got a smoker and I resisted it for so long. Little did I know that the promised land of never having to cook dinner for myself again was waiting on the other side. So if your spouse wants to buy a smoker. I can't speak for other cooking utensils, grills, etc. Just a smoker. Maybe consider letting them get it because I've eaten like a queen.

You know, you had me. You had me craving hot smoked meat at 6:30am this morning. I was legit. Like, I googled it. I was googling meat smoker at 6:30.

So, Adam, guess what you're getting. Seriously?

Does he do veggies on there and stuff?

Brussels sprouts.

The veggies are almost better. This is a shout out to Elliot and his smoking meat and veggies skills. He's. He's the man. This sounds good.

I'm into it.

Elliot, you dirty dog.

That's what I got for you.

Dirty dog. Sorry, other guys.

You're gonna have to buy a smoker now.

Sorry, other guys. Other guys in my life. I have so many other guys in my life. It's just hard to keep. Hard to keep up. All right, words of wisdom. Pluck from thin air.

Oh, I would say it's okay to say no. Why? Because I've been really stressed at work, and you don't always have to be like, oh, I can stay until midnight and then come back at 4am that's probably not. That's very exaggerated.

Okay. But I like what you did.

There absolutely never happened in my life.

But anyway, I lied. Yeah. I just lied on air and it's recording.

But I'm trying to know how to. You know how you. My go to is to always be like, oh, sure. But really just take a minute. I'm trying to train myself to take a minute and be like, okay, here's what I can do. I can't do everything you just listed, but I could possibly do this. And that could still produce a great outcome.

That's so good. Setting everybody up for an expectation that can actually be met. Because otherwise you're probably. Unfortunately, you're probably failing by saying yes to everything. And then it's making you feel terrible. And it's just not even possible for a human being to do that.

That.

And it also. I think when people don't tell you what they're capable of, it also doesn't help the company or your friendship or whatever that is, because you need to bring in something else to make that work. So it's actually not a favor.

No.

To the company for you to be saying yes to everything.

You are right.

They need somebody else. They need some. You need an Evan sidekick. Be like, look, I have you bring Lindsay to work today.

Yeah, Lindsay, you're gonna come.

I'm available.

That would be so much fun to.

Finally.

I feel like I'm painting this picture of, like, this evil corporation. It's not like that at all.

No, but it could.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Sometimes we can end up saying yes to way too many things in any great relationship. And then a lot of times we can actually be a little resentful because we're saying yes.

Ex.

That's it.

Okay. You just described exactly how I'm feeling. And it's like.

Because I do it all the time.

Yeah.

How do you.

How.

Why do I. I'm the one who put myself in this situation. You know what I mean?

Because I think it's harder to say no than to. But we're familiar. So here's my wisdom, so I don't have to think of anything extra. We're more familiar with the Devil of Overwhelm and potentially, like, feeling like we're disappointing people and anxiety than we are with saying no. And that's just like, where, like, it's more uncomfortable to say no unless we say no backwards, which is on. And that makes no sense.

That's different. That's different conversation.

Yeah.

On for the smoke.

Okay.

I don't know.

That was terrible.

I might edit out. I don't edit my podcast, but I do think I should a lot. I think we could cut out a good 10 minutes out of here from my parts and we'd be like a solid. It'd be a solid podcast. All right, you guys. So, so grateful for you tuning in to this episode of questionably awesome, where it's never a question if it's awesome. And we would love to hear what your takeaway was. If you upload your stories and tag Lindsay Evans and myself, Lindsay might get back to you. Evans might not let you in her life.

And I'll.

I'll probably share your story.

That's gonna be fun. I want to see pictures of people in their leather jackets. Me too.

Oh, yeah, leather jackets.

Also share and tag us in your leather jackets that don't allow you to be a victim. Your victim.

Yes, victim.

Free leather jackets.

Thank you.

All about faux leather as well, if that's what you're into as well. Faux leather. Thank you so much. Signing off. Have a great day.

Goodbye, everyone.

Bye Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye Bye, Sam.