498. Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about FEAR answered

I would take like the fear pain with the action of what it feels like stepping into your fear than the pain of not doing anything at all and getting even more afraid and regressing. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome back to questionably awesome, where I am sitting with my awesome co host, Evans.

Hello.

Good morning.

Good morning.

How are you today?

I'm doing well.

Is it. It's funny because I know you're doing, like, really well, but I also know that you are, like, not doing well.

Yeah.

Because you're kind of stressful. Yeah. Life is stressful.

Yeah.

So you guys, this episode or these episodes, if you have not tuned in yet, are all about just talking about life. But we laugh a lot.

A lot of laughter.

Yeah. So if you're looking for, like an interview or maybe to learn something from Webster's dictionary, this probably isn't going to be it.

So we don't really talk about that.

So if you want, if you want something more serious, we've had some people be like, I want something very serious. And I'm like, oh, wrong podcast. Because this is one for people who are like, real, real fun.

Yeah. Just. So sit back and relax. Yeah.

Turn this right off if you're not. Okay. All right, so. So what's been going on?

My dog, George.

Yeah.

He's been a little ill.

It's the worst. Everyone, I. I swear to you, 90 of my population on this podcast, I'm making that statistic up.

Yeah.

But they have fur friends.

I completely agree.

Or fur babies. And they. Because they show us pictures, we know this.

Yeah.

And totally understand that when your dog is not feeling well, it is the worst feeling. Because they can't be like, wrong. It's my reft hip.

Exactly.

I really need a massage or some. Yeah. Like, you just don't.

You have no idea.

So. And then you feel terrible because you look in their eyes and they look like they're pleading with you to help them. And you're like, I don't know. I'm not.

I'm not.

Dr. Quinn, medicine woman.

Oh, that was a good show.

Seymour. Yeah, I loved it.

Seymour is a fox.

Oh, she is still foxy, still very. I remember watching that and being like, how just one person be that beautiful.

I know she'd always have the flowing hair and then she'd save someone.

Ugh. Save someone with her flowing hair. Like she just like rope it out like a lasso and be like, grab, grab this. Wasn't she English? I mean, she is English, but did she keep it accent in the show?

She did too.

Interesting.

Maybe they'll bring it back. You know they bring back a lot of shows.

You know they're bringing back Friends. They just announced.

Yes.

I was like, nick and Evans are probably so excited about this.

I have to touch base and make about that.

Yeah, you're going to have to like text and be like, hey, we'd have to have a. When do we watch the first episode together? So, I mean, what kind of food would you bring? Because what were you eating when Friends was first out? Like, what would you.

I would probably bring some cookies and maybe some dips. You know what?

I like that combo. It's very unique. Like, the cookies surprised me. I think that if I was to bring what I was eating back then, I think I'd probably bring snack Wells and Bugles.

Yes, yes, yes.

Do you remember Bugles?

Yes.

Well, I'd bite the end off and be like, yeah.

Would you ever put them on your fingers?

Oh, for sure. Yeah. And I would drink coke out of the can and use a Twizzler as a straw. So I'd bite both ends off and it would just make that the most like, sugary, soda filled Twizzler that you ever did have.

Yeah.

When you're done having your Coca Cola.

As you should have done, and I.

Was like, my teeth are furry. This is amazing. We have a fur jacket on.

Okay.

Would you like trying to think what I've done lately? That's exciting.

Yes. You've had. Oh, I know something you spoke at Create, Cultivate.

I just wanted to say, would you ask me about that, how it looks amazing. It was amazing. It was. It was such a good experience. It was like mind blowing and it was just really crazy to. I soaked it in for sure. Like, I was not the girl who was like, oh, well, I'm not. I'm not very present for this. There are celebrities all around me and I can't really Soak it up. I was literally like, there are celebrities all around me, and this is so fun. And so what I did is I actually use it as like a. Lori, look around. Like, this was manifested through different parts of what you've been doing in your life. Keep doing that. Keep visualizing things like this. I always take when I have moments like that, even if I'm not even kidding. Like, even if I'm running into somebody who's doing something that I want. Like, I don't know if I've told. I don't think I've told the story on here, but we have run into while on different trips while in Greece and then while in Monaco, we literally sat directly next to the Kardashians and the Hilfigers, like, the next table over. So one year in Greece and then the next year in Monaco at dinner. And I was like, what is the universe trying to tell us? By the same table of people sitting four feet away from us. And I just took that as like, hey, keep your vision really big, because, you know, you just keep running into these people. Now, to some people, that would mean nothing. To me, it was like, this could be the trajectory of where you're going with, like, your brands and what you're gonna be doing, or maybe they're gonna pick up your drink and drink it and share it to the world. You don't. You just don't know.

They're definitely gonna do that.

I think they are. I think next table I see em at, they're gonna be doing a light pink toast.

Yes, they are. And I was. It's funny you say that, because I was thinking about when we would look at createcultivates Instagram, and we would talk about them all the time, how much we admired their branding, everything they do.

Yeah. I was always like, okay, let's go to their.

Yes.

What's going on? What's the latest trends? Because I just. That's crazy. Can you imagine being the company that's like, okay, let's go here for what is trending so cool. I don't know. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen.

Evans, that's amazing. You work to get there, so that's amazing.

Thank you. It was awesome. And there were some challenges there. Just from me fitting in standpoint, it felt like just for a couple things with dealing with. Not dealing with people, but being in groups of people who do things totally different than me. And I just found myself in a. A high school situation, not in a bad way, but in, like, oh, you're gonna learn to just, like, keep showing up, hold your own, and make sure that you get into this conversation. Because it was. It would have been very easy for me to be like, oh, they're not being super inclusive because they're all friends. Like, you have to just make yourself get in there.

You do.

Yeah.

Not easy.

And I. I thought of women at Bliss, because there's gonna be a lot of women there who are gonna already be friends. And I just kept thinking, like, you really have to be your own advocate if you want to make friends. You have to keep on asking questions because it would be so easy to be like, why aren't they turning towards me and making me the center of attention? Because they don't know who I am yet. Well, they're not gonna.

Right?

They're having fun. They don't have to include you if they don't want. It's a nice to. To do. But if you wanna get up in there, you gotta get up in there.

You gotta get yourself in that room.

We should have questions that are the get up in there questions. G U I T the gu questions. Are you asking the good questions? And they Are you from. Where are you. Are you from Holly?

Yeah.

Are you asking the good questions?

The goo. That's what.

The get up in their questions.

That's a good rule. It really come up with good questions, because I need some.

Everyone's going to be like, can you give me the good questions? And I'm going to be like, if you use that accent the whole time, you can have them. All right. I wanted to ask you something else, though. Oh, hey, are you doing your creative date still?

Oh, I'll be honest, Laurie, if I'm being totally honest.

Well, I don't want you to lie, but if you feel like lying, please be like, hey, if I'm going to lie to you, yes.

If I'm lying, yes. If I'm being honest, then I'd say the last two weeks have just been. Here's. Here's an idea.

Yeah.

Or here's what happened. I've been so not present. I feel like that when I mailed my rent the Runway shipment back, I mailed my entire wallet back with it. Oh, it's been one of those.

I love that. That's. Well, I'll tell you something that makes you. That could make you feel better. When Chris packed for his snowboarding trip last week.

Yeah.

He could not find his wallet. And he was just going through the house like he was a madman. Like, rampage. Like, where's my wallet. Because he's going on a trip. You need your wallet.

Gotta have it.

And he's like, I don't want to have to call and cancel this stuff. And he gets there, and it was in his toiletries bag, so packed it after tearing apart the house and all of us, like, tearing apart the house trying to find his wallet. So it's close. It's similar.

Yeah.

Yeah. Did you your wallet back?

I canceled everything. It's all replaceable, and they're going to mail it back, so. Oh, good. It's fine.

That is hilarious and amazing, and I've done many things like that, but that's your cue.

It's like, okay. You got to just, like, reel it in.

Yeah. And. And I love that you did Rent the Runway. And they also do sponsorships. We should just have them do a sponsorship for you. If you shout them out all the.

Time and wear their clothes, I love Rent the Runway.

We need to figure that out.

It's such a. I know.

They sponsor podcasts. I think they were sponsoring. Well, they were sponsoring another podcast.

Well, I would encourage all of your listeners to try them out, because you can get everything from work to going out to going to the Royal Ball.

Yep. I just want to go to a Royal Ball. So if you want to go to.

A Royal Ball or have one at your house, rent the wrong way.

Life. My life feels so normal and average when you say Royal ball. You ready to pick a card? So what we're doing is we're just playing with these cards. They're just. They. They're not just. They're Gabby. Gabby Bernstein's universe has your back cards. Because we were like, hey, this is more fun than looking up a. A quote sometimes, because we don't know what we're getting. So go ahead and pick and tell me how this is applying to your life.

I'm gonna go with this one.

Okay.

Ooh. It's like a tree with a moon. Two moons. Oh, my gosh. My faith has the power to turn trauma into healing, conflict into growth, and fear into love.

Wow. It's kind of for you.

That's a thousand percent for me. That's really nice.

Let's take a screenshot of that. I think I should put it on your wallpaper just for the week.

I think I will.

Yeah.

I like that because I like how it says conflict into growth and fear into love. Fear into love.

That's a big one. Yeah, I know. Yeah.

Don't live in. It's so easy to slip into living in Fear, though.

Yeah, that's the human. That's human nature. And we're constantly, like, fighting it and, and leaning into our faith and what you believe. It's crazy.

Yeah.

It's beautiful, though.

It really is. And I really am gonna take a picture of it.

And you, you need to be around people right now.

Yes.

It's really easy to slip into the dark cavern of. Yes.

I've been hurting so hard.

Yeah. And it's terrible. I do. I do it too. Hey, guys, this is the perfect spot to take a break because I have to tell you some exciting news. Our famous Fast Foundations Mastermind is open again for enrollment. This is a mastermind that my husband Chris Harder and I put on for entry level early stage entrepreneurs. And this is the only way to be able to work with Chris and I together in a room in person. I can promise you that this is literally one of the best masterminds out there for half a the price. But I want you to listen in to some of these transformations that happen when you are in the room. And you guys know if you listen to this podcast that I always tell you, just show up for yourself and get your butt in the room. So listen into these. Hey, guys, my name is Michael Dash and Fast Foundations really helped me get clear on my coaching strategy. They also did a great job in giving me some. Some creative ideas. And I specifically credit Chris and Lori to coming up with some fantastic strategies. It is a no brainer to join this mastermind. Fast Foundations was awesome. Hey, my name is Jackie Servis, and.

The Fast Foundations Mastermind helped me to.

Ignite my business and see rapid growth.

Financially while staying aligned in both business and life.

Fast Foundation's mastermind not only helped increase my financial literacy and improve my digital marketing skills, but the power, the true power, was in all of the relationships.

Built and the collective knowledge of the other Mastermind participants.

Okay, so here's the deal. All of those breakthroughs that you just heard, none of those people felt ready to be in that room. And I know you're sitting here thinking, I'm not even sure if I'm there yet. But let me tell you, if you make less than 499,000 a year, we want to lock arms with you to make your business explode and make you feel confident in all of the areas that you don't yet feel confident in. And I will tell you as an entrepreneur, you never feel ready. You never, ever feel ready. It's all about taking that leap and showing up for yourself. So over the next five and A half months. We want to lock arms with you, and spots are super limited. So go over to fastfoundations.com right now because we want to work with you. We want you in this room. And as you can hear from the transformation, it is your turn now to have that same experience. So let's get back to the interview. Okay. Here's my card. Okay. When I lean toward love, I am love. I am led. There we go. Oh, this is good. Because I've been asking a lot, like, what should I do to get my answers of where I need to go next and if I should do certain things with this company or not? And I'm kind of like. Like, I can get frustrated, but I just have to go back into love and faith. Love is on. Yeah. And just. Yeah. So that's great.

That's so good.

I loved it. Should we move into a review? Yes, let's do it.

Okay. The review is from Annette Rudge.

Annette Rudge.

Annette Rudge.

What up, Annette?

Annette. My favorite podcast, for sure. I started listening while taking a bath and it made me inspired to read new books and get back into yoga.

I just. I feel very excited that we set up a life for someone where they take baths and go to yoga.

Wow, Annette. I started with episode one and now I'm on 70. Holy. And I'm very thankful for all the helpful tips on choosing positive energy over negative draining thoughts. It's a battle daily and love is winning. And the war. My mind, body, heart, and spirit kind.

Of love that this card was maybe for her.

Oh, my gosh.

So mornings that she does her bath and yoga, is that like a. Like when you do BOGO for shoes, is that like Boga? Get one Boga. Hey, stay off my Boga routine.

Yeah, this is my Boga. This is my BOGO day.

Hey, send us an email to customer servicerieharter.com and we're going to send you something amazing.

Whoa, Annette, keep those baths going.

Keep your head up.

My hair always gets greasy, though, when I take baths.

Greasy?

Yeah.

Just from getting in the bath.

Well, I think it's because I still do a bath style. That's like a 10 year old's bath style, meaning.

Yeah. What is that? I don't think I took baths when I was 10, so cue me in.

You know when you're little and you like, stay in the tub and you like, get your hair all wet and you like shampoo it in there and everything?

Yeah.

You can't do that as an adult. I don't think.

Well, I think it's because you're putting essential oils in your bath. You just, like, pour a whole thing of oil in there, and you're like.

Why is my hair oil.

I don't get this.

Yeah, I guess I gotta. Annette, if you have any tips, I'm all ears.

Yeah, she probably does.

She's. She definitely does. Do you want a question on beer?

I would love that. Let's do it up.

Okay. This is from Jillian Murphy. Dot Fit Life.

Jillian Murphy, FitLife. I love it. Me too.

Jillian asks, how do you overcome the fear of not being good enough for the task ahead?

Oh, you don't. I mean, you do not. You practice. You don't. I don't think you. I think eventually you overcome it, but you do it with fear. Man. I just. I just want to sit every day of my life and let people know, like, you don't overcome it. I have so much fear right now, but I'm. Now I'm more used to. It's like when you go to the gym and you're like, I'm so sore. I don't like this. And then all of a sudden, you go through your life and realize that you're always sore because you work out, and that. That's. That type of sore is better than the type of sore that you get when you're not working out. Oh, yeah. That's what I always think about is when I don't work out for a week, I'm like, I feel like I'm 80 and my back hurts and my joints hurt. What is going on? I would take workout sore all day long over the sore of not doing anything. So it's like that in life. I would take, like, the fear pain with the action of what it feels like stepping into your fear than the pain of not doing anything at all and getting even more afraid and regressing.

That is great advice.

You know, I just. I. The gym has helped me a lot.

In life, but that's a great analogy, and I love thinking of it like that. It's like, what, would you rather not do it and feel like crap?

Yeah. No. Oh, by the way, there is something that I. And this is just a decision that you need to make online right now. No, I'm just kidding. There is something that we were doing that is all set legally, if you want it. If not. If not, I'm ditching it. So you got to tell me, but you can tell me later, and that's no pressure.

Okay. I'm. No.

Do you like that I did it? On air.

On air.

That's no problem. But if you want to, you can play with it. If not, great. Yeah. Keep up to your creative dates. I'm telling you, my creative dates. I'm just going to be your friend of accountability as well.

I know it's been really bad.

It's not bad. Go easy on yourself. It's your dog. I know, it's. Do you want another question?

I know.

Now I feel bad for feeling bad about myself. I'm sorry. I should have grace. Now I feel awful. I do this to myself.

Another question.

Oh, God, it's so Southern as well.

So bad.

All right, we need mint Julep's question, please.

We do. Thanks. This is from AT Joy Harrington. Ig.

She's the name.

Joy.

She's awesome. She always talks on our stuff.

Joy Harrington, you're great. She asks, when is fear logical? Like a healthy fear that makes you actually get up and work?

God, I saw somebody write up something about this and it was like so great. And I don't have it right now, so this means nothing.

Yeah.

When does fear help you and it's logical?

A lot of times.

A lot of times. But I think we get really confused of the fear of what we should be doing and the fear of what should actually stop us. I really think, unless your life is being threatened, that the fear that all of the other fear is something that you should look into and possibly take action on. Not possibly and should take action on. Yeah, I think fear is the X that marks the spot. I talk about it all the time. It just. If you're fearful of something, it's probably a conversation that needs to be had or it's something that needs to be looked into a bit or taken action on. Like what do you have a fear around right now, Evans? Tell me and we'll decide if it's the lion type of fear that you need to frickin run or if it's the fear you need to figure out.

Oh, it's. I already know. It's the fear I need to figure out.

Okay, well, do tell. So she understands.

Because if you have. I have a fear around exploring a creative project and exploring making my. My work life different. And because I'm like, I don't think I can do that.

How am I ever gonna.

My fears go like this. I can't make money off that. I can't make a life off that. That's just like a little hobby that means nothing. Well, that's the lamest thing you can ever say to yourself because who's to say that hobby can't turn into something beautiful. And if it turns into a hobby, that's great too, because you at least you tried something new.

I want you to think about all this week. I want you to collect evidence. Sounded like your name, but I. I couldn't quite get it there. Evans. Evidence sounded weird in my head, so I was gonna drop it, but I brought it up, clearly. You know what? You gotta take risks in life, even with your humor. Like, if you're gonna be a funny person, only like 50 to 70% of your shit is gonna land.

Yeah.

The other is just gonna flop.

For me, I get a lot lower.

I'm used to it.

It's like 10% landing.

No, it's definitely not. Like, whenever I meet people, they're like, when do we meet, Evans? I'm like, hi, I'm here right now with you. And they're like, but where's Evans?

Wait, keep telling your answer.

Oh, what was I talking about?

I actually forgot it was about fear.

And.

Oh, you said this week you want me to pick up evidence.

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Evidence of all of the people who have started silly little companies that have turned into million and billion dollar ideas that are changing lives. I thought of that because I was listening to Raise the Bar with Ellie Webb and she was just like, so many people did not get that. She was like, I'm gonna start a salon that just does blowouts. People were like, I don't even know what that is. That's so silly. People will not come. And now she has hundreds of stores everywhere and, and so many people have now played off that idea. I can't, I literally can't walk anywhere in New York without seeing a blow dry bar.

Or here.

Right. They're everywhere and I love them.

I am obsessed. But imagine if she was like, what a stupid idea. Or with like, I know that you love paper and cart. Hi. That industry is insane. Like, yep, it's such a popular category and I, I actually don't see people really doing what potentially I feel like you would be doing even Spanx. Yeah, totally. Oh, they thought that was insane, right?

They thought that was crazy idea from cutting your pantyhose down.

So there you go.

Life changing.

Yeah, I've been just taking my pantyhose and cutting the crotch Out. I leave. I leave the feet on. But one day I was like, I am so sick of taking these down to go to the bathroom. How could I make this bed?

Oh, that. That joke landed with me.

Really, really did all right. So silly idea to some. Great idea to many. Like, it has been so inconvenient having to pull these down crotchless. So much better. Especially in the summer months. You just need to get a little air circulating.

Do you want one more question? Yes, please. Okay. This is from at. Love of my life, Ag.

Oh, wow.

How do you find yourself and who you are meant to be? My fear is not knowing how. Wow, that was a really soulful question.

Oh, this is actually a fun spot. Love of your life, Ag. Because this is it. It's fun if you let it be. The problem is we don't let it be. We put so much pressure on. I need to find who I am right now. Which, by the way, all the 20s and 30 somethings, like, get over yourself. You have a lot of time. Like, I didn't figure out even what I wanted to do. And let me tell you this, last year I was like, who am I again? I was like, I'm so lost. I don't know who I should be in this next phase of my life. It never goes away. So you lean back into curiosity of what seems fun to me. Like, what am I naturally good at? And that answer won't come right away. Like, I didn't. You don't know what you're naturally good at till you try things. Meaning you're probably going to have to try a lot of things. You might have to try a lot of jobs. You might need to be an intern. You might. Yeah. And this might be like, but I need to bring in like a steady financial, you know, income. You don't get that luxury if you want to be living in your purpose. Like, right.

Yeah.

You can choose a steady income from the get go or you can choose to do what you love and realize that you really have to think about monetizing and that if you really love it, you'll figure out a way to do that. Or you'll get paid because you're simply in the joy. And people will notice. I can't tell you how many times I've noticed people who are just really happy and been like, God, they should work for us or, God, they should work over here. So just who you be out in the world is probably going to help attract your next step. I think we jump from like, what is my purpose too quickly. Like they, we want to land in our purpose. There are so many puzzle pieces along the way until you actually find what your purpose is. And I think our purpose is just to wake up and find our purpose. So we need to stop putting so much pressure on getting to the end result immediately and realizing that just learning to find your purpose and start living in things and showing up the way that you want. Like, for example, let's say my end purpose is being a salon owner. I'm not going to just go open a salon if I have no experience in that. Most likely I will probably go and start at the front desk somewhere so I can understand what that looks like. And I'm going to be the best receptionist. I was a front desk receptionist at a salon. I'm going to be the very, very best one that I can possibly be. And I'm going to show up and I'm going to make everybody's day so that any opportunity that comes this way and any type of networking and type of relationship that I need for later is going to be made now. So that's the way that we have to start thinking. And also to enjoy that phase of your life, just enjoy where you're at and know that your pace is not going to look like, you know, the 18 year old Instagram person who has just made a billion dollars off of sneakers.

Like, that's crazy.

Yeah, like, you have to just let that go because that comes with its own problems. Can you imagine if you made even a million bucks when you were 18? I'd be such a shithead. I would be so lost. Oh, my God. I would. I would be living in some apartment that I'd have someone build thrown in there and I would just like, do the weirdest things.

It would be like that. What's that movie where the, the little boy. Blank check. Have you guys seen the movie Blank Check?

Is it. Is it good and terrible?

It's terrible. He builds like, first of all, it doesn't make sense. He only gets a million dollars and he has a lot of things that he gets for a million dollars.

Maybe he lives in Wisconsin.

He probably does, but he. It's like a water slide in his house. I would be doing stuff like that.

Yeah, totally. And then you'd be miserable and you'd be like, this water slide used to make me happy. Why not? And it's because, like, your purpose is. You're not going to find your purpose on a water slide.

No.

You know, I've been in Noah's Ark a lot, done a Lot of water slides. Still no purpose, and you just get soaked.

You do.

All right.

Love my life ag. She's going to figure it out.

She's figuring it out right now. She's like, here. Here's when my life started to shift. I had to love the life that I had, and I had to start finding gratitude in every single day and what was good about my life in order to even start to be able to move forward. Because until you do that, you'll be running from your life, not towards your purpose.

Oh. Oh, that was a mic drop.

I don't know. Was it great? I like that. I'm gonna put. I wish we had just. What is it? The hologram emojis that we were talking about.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Someday we're gonna have that. We. Let's not 20, 25.

Yeah.

Okay. It's like an insider hologram joke. All right, so, Evans, last bit of wisdom. Let's squeeze it out.

My last bit of wisdom is to breathe.

Oh, so good.

Because I need to breathe.

Are you wearing loose fitting pants right now?

I'm wearing my high rise denim, which, let me tell you, why did we ever have low rise?

I'm not sure that was the. Why wouldn't we support our stomach? Why wouldn't we support our cores?

You know, I just love me a high rise pant.

I don't know if you have core values if you don't wear high rise pants. I'm not sure. Although I was the queen of low rise. I'm not gonna lie. I was just like, make me look like Britney Spears.

I wanted to be, but it's just. Just didn't suit me.

Well, my body is more like everything's going down south, so I better show what's up north, you know what I mean? All right, so everyone, thank you. We're grateful for you. We love hearing if you think we're funny, so you can tag us and let us know. Thank you.

Bye.

Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye.

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