499. The fallout after the tough conversations

Here's what I want to tell you. Some people are going to turn on you. Some people are going to believe it. And the people that matter are going to see the truth. They're going to know your character. And the people that don't matter will leave. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Hey, everyone.

Welcome back to the podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in. Inspiration. And I actually just literally landed in Aspen. We are here for a few days. We are snowboarding with two other couples. And these are people who definitely I've been wanting to connect with even more. One of my really good friends, Danette May and her husband and another couple that we've been wanting to connect with. So I'm really excited not only to be doing something that I love, to be in a brand new place for me. I've never been to Aspen, you guys. It is literally like I've always had this picture of Aspen from the movie Dumb and Dumber. If you haven't seen it, I don't know where you've been living. It was literally one of my favorite movies for like pretty much my entire life. And I landed and I've never seen so many, like fur boots and the perfect depiction of dumb and dumber. So anyway, it really is a lot like that and it's also just so freaking stunning. And I can tell you that the people have been so just pleasant so far. So I'm very excited because downstairs I have a beautiful lobby waiting with a fireplace and live music. And if you know me, you know that there's also some glasses of champagne down there waiting for me. So this is like an act of love sitting here talking to you guys. Just kidding. It's like one of my favorite things to do. Now if I could bring the phone down there, listen to live music, drink champagne and record the podcast to talk to you guys. Now we're talking okay. So it really is all of my favorite things that I get to do in one. It's people who really do up level me. So I'm excited about that. I will share more about the trip when I get back. But I was going through my messages on the airplane because we're so blessed to have WI fi at however many thousand feet we're in the air. And I was reading some of the messages about a recent podcast that I've done on setting boundaries and having tough conversations. And a girl made an amazing point. She said, I've had the tough conversations. And I know you say that it's gonna be hard afterward, but I had no idea, you know, the backlash that was going to come. And I had no idea that it would be, you know, this hard or challenging or painful. How do you deal with these situations when people just are gonna think you're totally wrong and they're upset with you and they're talking about you. And I know I do talk about this sometimes, but I just wanna elaborate a little bit more on that because I typically a tough conversation that, you know, is not a conversation where you feel you're going to get resolution or if it's something or someone that you know needs to move out of your life. If you listen to the podcast, I talk a lot about relationships that have expired. And when we know that we're in a relationship that has reached its expiration date and we have to have this tough conversation, whether it's with a business partner and it is just not working out and you don't have the same core values or they're running business a completely different way than you would. Or maybe they're not showing up, though, in the light that you want is reflecting badly upon you. Or maybe you have this friend that just is no longer in alignment with your beliefs and what you want to do and you don't feel like you can be yourself around this person. And it's just feeling really heavy in your life. It's feeling like it's stopping you from becoming the person that you want to be and living the life that you want to live. And you know that you have to have one of these conversations where it's not going to end well, where it's probably going to be a separation. And that's what this particular instance was with this person who had messaged me. And I have also had these. So I want to say it is going to be a conversation that's probably going to be one of the top five hardest conversations that you have. Because you are doing kind of a friend breakup or a breakup of energy, of life, of all the things that you've woven together. And it's also going to be the most freeing conversation that you have. You will feel immediate relief and that relief is going to sustain you during the shitstorm that is going to come afterward. Because yes, this person might drag your name through the mud and you might go through a good three to six months or a year or maybe even two to three years that I went through of somebody trying to defame your character, trying to kind of make your life miserable, trying to take all of the people that you love with them and talk bad about you and turn on you. Hey guys, this is the perfect spot to take a break because I have to tell you some exciting news. Our famous Fast Foundations mastermind is open again for enrollment. This is a mastermind that my husband Chris Harder and I put on for entry level early stage entrepreneurs. And this is the only way to be able to work with Chris and I together in a room in person. I can promise you that this is literally one of the best masterminds out there. For half an hour, the price. But I want you to listen in to some of these transformations that happen when you are in the room. And you guys know if you listen to this podcast that I always tell you, just show up for yourself and get your butt in the room. So listen into these. My name is Kat golden and not only did Fast Foundations help me scale to a multiple six figure income in under a year, I was able to establish myself as an authority. Thank you so much, so much Chris and Lori, truly forever grateful. My name is Alex street and Fast Foundations helped me build my first course and confidently now do what I'm made for. Fast Foundations was the best thing I did in 2019 for my growth. I received all of the skills that I needed for marketing and PR and gained access to really high level entrepreneurs and their insider secrets that I would not have been able to get outside of Fast Foundations. My name is Joanna Vargas and Fast Foundations helped me double my profit. I learned how to up level my client experience and I invest more to make more now. It was truly a game changer for me. I saw measurable results right away and help get me through any challenge and it's priceless. But also it was a game changer in the people that I connected with. Fast Foundations was awesome. Okay, so here's the deal. All of those breakthroughs that you just heard, none of those people felt ready to be in that room and I know you're sitting here thinking, I'm not even sure if I'm there yet. But let me tell you, if you make less than 400, we want to lock arms with you to make your business explode and make you feel confident in all of the areas that you don't yet feel confident in. And I will tell you, as an entrepreneur, you never feel ready. You never, ever feel ready. It's all about taking that leap and showing up for yourself. So over the next five and a half months, we want to lock arms with you. And spots are super limited. So go over to fastfoundations.com right now because we want to work with you, we want you in this room. And as you can hear from the transformation, it is your turn now to have that same experience. So let's get back to the interview. Here's what I want to tell you. Some people are going to turn on you. Some people are going to believe it. And the people that matter are going to see the truth. They're going to know your character. And the people that don't matter will leave. The people that don't matter believe. And the people who fall for believing something like that should probably go out of your life as well. Even though it's going to feel very challenging. Because even when somebody. Now, this is what I want you to. I really want you to understand this and I want you to hear this and I want you to think of the type of person you want to be next time somebody tries to drag somebody else's character or personality down. So many people know now not even to talk about people around me, because I don't care what they did to you necessarily. I am not going to judge them off of what someone else is saying. I'm going to judge them off of my experience with them. And it's always going to come from a loving place. So you have to remember that the people who are going to kind of step back and make their own judgments, people who have the type of decision making qualities and core values that you want in your life, they're gonna take a second and they're gonna question the source that it's coming from. They're gonna question how much they talk about other people, and they're going to question that there is two sides to every story. So even sometimes when my really good friends come to me with something about someone else, I'm like, okay, you know, I totally understand. And this is like, I definitely want to be there for you. And also I have a realization that there's Two sides to every story. And that people are coming from a totally different past. And we have different opinions and we take things in completely different ways. So you have to remember, it's okay if people don't like you. It's okay if people take things personally or believe other people. It will. The truth always rises to the top. It's like oil. There is no possible way that when you put oil and water together, no matter how much you shake that, no matter how turbulent the ocean gets, if there's an oil spill, if there is oil, it is rising to the top, and that is the truth. So no matter how long and turbulent the ocean is, no matter how long and turbulent this time and season of your life is, the truth will rise to the top and it will show its way. So just stick to that and know that, and have faith in that and keep praying for strength as you go through this. And just stick to what you know is your purpose and your calling. This is a beautiful time to realize, just put your head down and do what you do best. Put your head down and always only come from a place of love. You will start attracting people who make decisions and make judgment calls off of completely different things than gossip or people trying to defame other people. So stay true to yourself, stay authentic to your path, and everything will end up settling how it should with the wrong people out of your life. The right people just got a lot of room to come into your life. And the truth rising to the top. It's just how it works. If you play the cards right, if you play the love card, that is how it works. Love. Forgive me. Fierce boundaries. If someone is walking all over you, if that bus is going to drive over you, do not step in front of the bus if you know you can't stop it. But just always come from compassion and love. Put your head down, put your nose to the grindstone, do your work, stay in your own lane, focus on your goals and keep going. And all of a sudden you're going to be like, how am I where I want to be? And these other people are still back in the shitstorm. Like, they missed it, they missed the boat, they missed that. You're just supposed to focus on your own lane and compassion and just let go and forgive and move forward. So, you guys, I hope that this helped you. If you are in a season of a shitstorm, of maybe a falling out of a separation of friendship of a partner, of whatever that is, and, you know, send this to somebody that you know is struggling with this because I think it's just so important to hear that this is the evolution of a relationship that was meant to expire or move forward. And it's how you make room. It's how you make room for the new. And if your life is filled with people who aren't meant to be in it and energy suckers or people who are really taking up a lot of unnecessary space, the people that you want won't come in. They sense it, they feel it. They don't want to be around that energy or people. So it's time to just make a little room and clean out some closets and let it be. Okay. That it's a tough process and a tough time because you're going to move into territory that is so freaking amazing. All right, you guys, until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.

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Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.