5 Ways to Snap Into Positive Mindset (+ How It Benefits Your Business)

The goal of everything is to stair step or climb the ladder of emotions into something where you're like, okay, at least neutral. Like, at least work so hard at getting to neutral, because no good ideas are going to come from a sad, angry, or anxiety ridden state.

And we're back with another episode of.

He Said, she Said.

Where are we? Right. Oh, wait, we're in Arizona.

We're in Arizona.

Home on paper. Paper.

We've been driving for three days.

We've been driving for four days, but we took a day off so that I could take all of my meetings. Actually, here's a really cool travel tip for entrepreneurs. If you have to drive across the country instead of just trying to bomb your way there, make sure you take a day off in the middle where you can schedule all your meetings, all your zoom calls, all of whatever it is that you have to do. And that's what I did. So we drove all day Monday, all day Tuesday, and I actually took a couple meetings in the van, you know, had Lori drive, and then I took a couple meetings, but I knew I was able to concentrate everything for Wednesday. So I just piled up my meetings for furlough and everything else on Wednesday. And then we hit the road again yesterday, Thursday, and now we are in Arizona because you're here for Powerhousewomen.

Excited shout out to Lindsey Schwartz. Are you kidding me? This is one of my favorite events of all time, especially when your bestie can throw the event and you get to go and help out or be a speaker or whatever. It's. It's the best.

That's so cool.

And we used to throw big events and now I'm like, oh, my gosh.

It's such, you know how much work goes into it.

I know how much work and planning for a year goes into it. So, yes, I, I think it's like, I'll probably have the most fun knowing.

That we won't do it today. But that combined with something you were talking about this morning. You know, someone threw a big event and people didn't show up. We should do an episode dedicated to how to throw events and what the journey really looks like. Yeah, we won't do it today, but we'll do that for you guys coming up.

All right.

You know, we kick these off with a glossy tip. And I guess it's probably going to have to do with travel.

I mean, that is the tip. Travel with glossy. Take it two to three times a day when you're traveling. If you're someone especially who struggles with travel, obviously one is Going to be great. But if you are someone who's like, oh, my gosh, I don't feel like I stay regular. I don't sleep great. I feel like my digestion is so dysregulated. Like, definitely take your probiotics, take your magnesium, take your vitamin C, your hyaluronic acid. For, you know, if you're in a plane, you just automatically get dehydrated. I don't know if you notice that, like, your mouth gets dry, your hands get dry. That's why they always put lotion on long flights. So drink your glossy. You're gonna feel so much better throughout your trip, and it's probably really gonna help you sleep and also stay regular.

I mean, what would I say every single time we'd get into a hotel or an Airbnb? Can I have my glossy water? Yep. Give me my glossy water. Yeah.

He does not live without it. Well, neither do I. And I can tell you that travel has been a breeze because that's a big thing for me, is I' he's like, oh, my God. I'm not, like, using the bathroom where I feel like I'm so bloated. And this has been huge for me.

I gotta give you props because you basically said, all right, look at all of the hydration sticks out there. You know, they serve their purpose. We're not going to bash any of them, but let's just say they didn't meet your needs. And you said, why hasn't somebody also done one that hydrates you and makes you beautiful? Genius. Anyhow, listeners, you get a special discount just for listening. It's our way of saying thank you to you. It's a massive discount. 25% off your first order by going to get glocee.com and using coupon code happy. So that is getgloci g l o c I.com and use coupon code happy at checkout.

You know, it's really cool because, I mean, doing this podcast with you, being a guy, being my husband, it's really awesome to see all the couples who are kind of, like, doing this ritual together. And I know for a lot of guys, the women have written me, like, this is one of the only things that they kind of, like, do, like to get their vitamins and get magnesium and get a probiotic. So it makes me really happy that it's kind. Kind of like us wives know, like us partners know. Like, it kind of infiltrates the partners.

You guys are. Let's be honest, you're the best at Choosing what's good and then it kind of leaks over to us.

We are.

I love it. All right, cool.

So until day I watched you put my really expensive face cream all over your arms and body.

Well, it works good.

And I was like, what on God's green earth are you doing? And you're like, it works great. And I was like, oh, my God, it works good.

And it felt good. I didn't know it was just for a face. And isn't lotion just for a body?

You're not using an ounce of lotion all over your body. Continue.

All right, so what in the heck are we going to talk about? I know the best thing that you can possibly do for your business is to vibrate higher. Vibrate higher. And listen, I know there's always Team Woo and then there's Team Logical. And I always pull you both in by saying what we're about to talk about, like, vibrate high and everything will go your way and all that. Listen, Team Woo, you're like, of course you know when you're vibrating high, you're calling in a matching frequency and you know that's going to call in more good things. And of course that's true. But then for Team Logical, so that we don't leave you behind, think about it. People just want to do business with. People just want to be around. People just want to buy from people that make them feel good. And when you are vibrating at a high frequency, then people want to be your customer because you're cool to be around. You make them feel good. They want to be your business partner or they want to help you out. So whether you're on Team Woo or whether you're on Team Logical, this absolutely applies to you. The best thing you can do for your business is to choose to vibrate as high as possible. Now here's where this kind of came from. I have just been getting my ass handed to me left and right as I build Frello. And understandably so. I knew this would be the case. You can't build anything big without tons of challenges that you have to solve as a team. Or of course, somebody else would have already built it. And so that's risk, reward. That's kind of, you know, the arena you're stepping into. But even though you know you're signing up for daily problem solving, it can really piss you off. And it can really, like, if you stack a few problems up in a row, make you feel like, oh, my God, there's this mountain in front of me and it can really crush your vibration. And so you've got two choices. When you wake up in that situation. You can choose to quickly change your frequency and choose to vibrate high so that good things start coming to you again, or you can sit and wallow in the pissed offness or the struggle of having to problem solve all the time. And I'm going to tell you from experience, that's not going to bring anything good your way.

We heard this a long time ago and I think it was at a Tony Robbins event. And he says, you know, great things can't come from an ugly state. Like it can't come from a low energy place. It can't come from when you're sad or irritated or pissed off. And so the goal of everything to stair step or climb the ladder of emotions into something where you're like, okay.

At least neutral, like at least work.

So hard at getting to neutral because no good ideas are going to come from a sad, angry or anxiety ridden state. What's going to come from that is a really, it's going to be an idea that's actually going to have you in maintenance mode or lower. So you're not going to be able to solve anything from those places. So that's why Tony Robbins, like he spends two hours on talking about how to get into a beautiful state, which beautiful being like, I think it's neutral, neutral and above. And you know, some of the things that we do to do that. We're going to chat about that.

Yeah, I just want to jump in real quick and be like, I hear this sometimes and I'm like, how should I be in a beautiful state when all these things are going wrong? But if you actually go to upw, right? Unleash the fire within one of Tony's events, he teaches you there during those few days how to change your state. And he proves to you that it's a choice. And I will tell you, at first I was like, yeah, that's bullshit. But now I stand here and absolutely claim that it is always a choice to either be stay stuck in the mud or to choose to change your state, as he says, and vibrate high. And I've learned that not only is it a choice, it's probably serving you in one way or another that's not a good way. But you know, short term gains, like it feels good or you're getting attention or something like that. It probably serves you to stay in that lower vibration and that's an easier vibration to stay in than it is to choose to change your State on the spot. And it's one of the most powerful things you can learn to do.

This will be the fight of your life. Because everything in your life, and most likely everyone in your life, your devices, the television, anything that you don't have to fight for to get out of this state is going to tell you to stay in it. And you're even gonna feel really validated and you're even gonna gain, like Chris said, you're gonna gain a lot of things from it. You're probably gonna gain conversations with people who are around you that validate you. You're gonna gain, you feel seen, you're gonna feel seen, you're gonna feel connected to other people. Because to get out of these states is one of the most challenging things that you'll ever do. You have to create rituals around it. You have to create methods that you're going to do when this happens. I have mantras around. What I have of me feels better. Grabbing for the low vibe.

Yeah, and here's the catch. When you talk about who do you want to come to your rescue? Do you want people that are attracted to the low vibe state that you're in coming to your rescue, or do you want people that are attracted to somebody in a high vibe state coming to your rescue? Because they're going to be two very different types of help, Trust me. You want the high vibe people saying like, oh, that's my person over there. I'm attracted to that person. I'm coming to their rescue. So Lori, let me just ask you now that they get the point, okay? Yeah, you gotta do my business from a high vibe point. I get it. What are some things and I want you to picture, like remember the two years where your business was just trash and all you hit was obstacle after obstacle. What are some things that you did to choose to change your state and vibrate high short term and then what were some longer term things?

I mean, short term I had to come up with a few things to say to myself and, and when I say a couple things to say to myself, they were typically always different. But I knew that I had to go grab a mantra and so, or grab something, a statement. Like for me I have like statements in the moment that break the pattern. So I knew I had to break the pattern. So I, you know, whether it was in the middle of the night or whether it would be just walking around during the day and I would just get pummeled with more bad news. You know, sometimes I remember somebody said to me, they're like, well, this is how you get the Netflix movie. And I remember thinking that. And it didn't mean I wanted a Netflix movie. It meant that the people who do great things and who are going to do something big in the world, there's these moments where without all of the drama, without the things that you think are going to take the hero down multiple times over, there is no winning thing. There is no Netflix movie. There is no thing that people are like, oh, my God, how did you do that? So sometimes when I'd be in it, that just clung to me. Like, that statement just really got me. So in those moments, I would say to myself, oh, this is that part where you make the Netflix movie. Like, without these moments, you don't get to win.

Okay, but let me ask you, what did you specifically say to yourself? What did you specifically do?

There are multiple things I did. I would obviously start with something like that. Like, that's my first step is just going, this is a part of it. And so I guess that's the statement that I say to myself all the time. And that's actually what I'm saying to you right now, because now you're in a bit of that place is, this is all a part of it. Don't get deceived by maybe what you think you're seeing in other people's business. This is the journey.

It's actually the bulk, majority the whole time.

This is the journey. And this is why people don't get to the destinations that they want is because they forget this is how the path is paved.

It is paved with challenges every day.

To the point where you think you will be broken. And the key is to learn how to deal with these moments in a way where it doesn't destroy you, where it actually becomes such a part of you that you learn how to compartmentalize and thrive throughout the day.

Yeah, I totally agree. So here's what I would do, or here's what I do whenever I'm like, in this rut. First of all, something you've always said to me is this or something better. And I forgot where you got that from. But it is such a great reframe. The minute something goes wrong for me, I'm like, well, this or something better. And you have to believe in that. And if you say it to yourself enough times, you start to see evidence that, sure enough, when you look at the whole journey in the moment where I lost, like, you know, you and I buy and sell a lot of homes every time an offer comes through and Then it falls through and we're like, dang it, that was the offer I wanted. We're like, well, this is something better. Or every time we put an offer in on a house, and all of a sudden, maybe it's not going through the way that we want. We're like, oh, it's this or something better. And at first I used to think, ah, that's kind of some bullshit. But, no, it really works. Once you adopt that type of vision, you really see it unfold that way. So that's one of the things that I do is I just tell myself when it's going wrong, this or something better. Another thing I do, I immediately, if I can, stop what I'm doing, and I turn to a podcast and I'm telling you, like, when people reach out to us, like, hey, your podcast got me through this, your podcast got me through that, or it did this. Now I get it, right? Because I've had not an easy but business journey, my, you know, my whole life. But the last few years, I've not had this type of challenges to solve, right, by trying to build and launch Frello. And now I really get it. I've got a few that I turn to immediately. Even if it's just 10 minutes, even if it's just 15 minutes of an episode that I put in my ears and I listen to in order to be like, yep, sure enough, they fought through. Yep, sure enough, that's brilliant. Yep, sure enough, that motivates me. So I turn to something audio. It might even be a book sometimes, but I will stop what I'm doing and chuck 10 or 15 minutes in of audio that fills me up and motivates me and makes me realize everybody fights this fight and they find a way. So, damn it, I'm going to go find a way.

I mean, your capacity in the beginning of starting your business is like nothing. It really is. Like, if you're starting something bigger than what you are doing right now, your capacity can only hold what you were doing. So, of course you're going to feel stretched every day. Of course you're going to think that you're not the type of person who can do this. That's how you feel when learning anything. Tell you, one of the hardest things I've ever learned to do is play guitar. And honestly, like, I got a year in and I ended up stopping because building a business and playing guitar was, like, way too much. Some people love it. It was way too much for me to hold because every single day I was like, I'M never going to learn how to do this. That's how it felt. But then I would measure my progress in a monthly basis and I was like, wait, it still feels like I don't know what I'm doing yet. I can like kind of stumble my way through this song. Interesting. So I would have to measure my progress in months, not just like, oh my God, last week. I still suck this bad. So in business, you kind of have to measure your progress in three to six month basis of going, wait, I'm handling a lot more than I was handling like last year or six months ago. And it's so small. Like, your capacity grows in such a small amount each time that you have to look back and say, I'm handling a lot more than I was. Like, I'm so, so proud of myself. So I think that being proud of yourself, like, along the journey. I kind of want to know how you've been doing this for yourself, Chris. Like, do you have moments where you're like, okay, you know, this is really hard, but I'm so proud of myself for this. Do you do that yet?

So first I want to acknowledge what you said because this is really important. This is a tip for everybody. Zoom out, zoom out. Stop looking at the one problem, the one challenge in that moment. Zoom out and be like, oh, wait, nevermind, I've moved the needle a lot. Oh, never mind. These other four things are going well. It's just these two things that I've got to problem solve. Right? So in other words, Maybe you have 75% of the puzzle put together and you're only concentrating on the 25%. That seems like a real challenge. That's tough at that moment. So zoom out is what you're saying. And I freaking love that.

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I also want to just share. There have been really rough days where sometimes on our walks, like the thing we're grateful for is that we have each other to solve this problem with. Yes, like maybe you have a group online that you're like, thank God I tapped into this group. Thank God I have my walks. Thank God I know that I need to turn to a podcast. Like sometimes that's all you have is to say thank God I knew to do this right now to cope with this.

My mastermind does this and I love them for it, you know, we run the elite mastermind and there's always 30 high performing, mostly 7 and 8 figure earners in there and they have put together these little groups and they even have a coffee chat in the morning like once a week where somebody else runs it and they jump on like, here's what I'm struggling with. Like I'm so proud of them. You know, most of them been in there now three, four years and like I watch new leaders step up and they create these little tools, if you will, for people to reach out or for people to have these little pods or these little posses, like hey, when something's going wrong, call me. When something's going wrong, text this group thread and that's an example of what you're saying, have people to turn to. And that's probably one of my long term solutions. You asked how I'm dealing with it. Putting together guys, dinners with high performing businessmen so that they can normalize the struggles that I'm feeling right now. Like, oh, that's no big deal, look what I got through. That's no big deal. Look what I had to problem solve or look how I had to pivot. So putting together groups of individuals that you turn to not just in a time of struggle, not like, oh, it's a horrible day, I gotta text this group. No, it's, you gotta have it scheduled ahead of time that I'm gonna fly in and put together this dinner with these high performing guys once a month or I'm gonna find guys in my area and we're going to get together once a month and talk about what's good and what's broken or even in online. Like the way you and Danette and Lindsay used to have your bi weekly Mastermind for years, 7am, you know, every other week, non negotiable. You guys just show up and be like, here's what's working, here's what's not. So put together groups of people who have already been there, done that and they will normalize your struggles and help you to look forward to and stay in a high vibration frequency. What are your closing thoughts or closing tips on taking yourself? I don't care if things are going good or going bad or anywhere in between. What is your last tip or two on being able to choose to vibrate.

High, that even if it feels fake and even if you don't believe it, you always have two choices. You can either sell yourself because it's all a lie, everything is made up. That's kind of what Chris And I have come to the conclusion of after learning about everything and being in bad states and not having things and losing things or choosing to be in a great state. Like, if everything is made up, choose the one that has the potential to get you a result that could be powerful. So even when I feel like this is all bullshit, this is like, here we are again. Like, I know that I can continue to choose a poor state, and that's actually never going to get me a good result if I go down that road and it's going to surround me with other people whose shit just goes sideways all of the time. Or I can choose to buy in to the belief that might feel like absolute crap and not truthful, but every time I've chosen it, I get a better result. So cling on to the proof of other people who are like, I don't interview successful people who tell me that they choose a negative mindset. That's not what it is. So go, go and just, like, pitch yourself the belief that something better could happen. I promise you, something good will eventually.

I love that. Sell yourself. Because if you can't sell yourself, you're never going to sell anybody else. You're not going to sell them on a product, you're not going to sell them on a solution, you're not going to sell them on joining you for anything. Sell yourself first, and then you'll be able to sell everybody else. I love that one. My closing tip would be this. Control the propaganda. And when I say propaganda, I mean every day you wake up, most things are working against you. Someone's going to cut you off in traffic. Social media is going to show you something sad or negative. There's going to be divisiveness in the world. Your business is going to have a challenge or two. An employee might quit or something. Who knows? Every day the world is going to, if you just let it by default, seem like it's working against you. So it is your job, it is your job to make sure that you are seeking out and plugging into more positive propaganda than you are allowing negative propaganda to fall into your lap. Books, podcasts, choosing the right people to follow online, choosing the right people to be around, plugging into the right groups, doing the right things, taking in all that positive data that reinforces what you want to believe about your possibilities in the world, instead of just believing whatever happens to fall into your lap in terms of struggles and negative news and all that other stuff. Choose your propaganda wisely and you have to outweigh the negative propaganda. With the positive propaganda. Hey, speaking of which, you heard us talking about plugging in really good groups and the elite Mastermind. We're not refilling our 2025 Elite Mastermind group until the end of October, beginning November. But we do it in a first come, first serve order, meaning you have to get your application in ahead of time. And then we look through the application, ooh, who do we want in this year? Who do we think would be a good addition to the group? Who do we want to work with personally? Right? And then we look at those applications and we interview you in the order that your applications come in. And so little tip here, like pro tip, get your application in now. If you think you want to be in our elite level mastermind for 2025 so that you're towards the front of the line, not part of the group that scrambles in November, December, because it's usually too late. Every year I have 10 to 15 people like, can I get in? Can I get in? I'm sorry, we already filled it because it's more than half the people always renew, so there's never many seats. So if you're going to make more than $500,000 in 2025, most people are 7 and 8 figure earners in there. But if your business is going to make more than 500 grand, you have the right to apply. Go to Chrisharder Me mastermind, click apply and get your application in line. Again, go to chrisharder Me. That's Chrisharder Me Mastermind. And fill out your application and get it in line so that you will be towards the front of the line to get interviewed instead of the end of the line and miss out like a bunch of people do every year.

You guys were so grateful for you and I hope that this helped you move up a couple notches today. And that's our. That's our biggest hope for this podcast, always is to get you out of a current state that's not serving you and into a great one so you can go and keep going towards your dreams and help other people. It's a ripple effect.

Choose your state wisely. Vibrate high. Thanks for listening. We love and appreciate you.