501. He said, She said

Even if I double these prices, that means I only have to serve one person for every two less expensive customers that I'm serving right now. So that means I can get more no's because I just need one to make up for every two that I'm going to lose.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome to another episode of he said, she said. So I think this is our third episode, babe, where we are talking together, getting a little perspective from the male side and the female side.

The female side. What is the female? Is that like Josh Demel?

I. I don't know. It's just how I say famil. I always have. Just kidding. I don't.

I hope that's not how you've always said it.

What if that was my one weird quirk that people are like, I'd have.

To ask for a divorce when they're.

Like, lori, are you a male or female? I'm like, I'm a female. Like, they have to ask me, hey, remember that one time that I got the email to be on? Was it Maury Povich?

Oh, my God, yes. Tell the story.

Was it Maury Bovich?

No.

Guy's name with the blonde hair. It was like one of those, like, oh, yeah.

Where everyone, like, ends up daytime. Kind of like trashy show.

Trashy. It wasn't Maury Povich. It was the. You guys all know what it is, but I can't think of it. So I got an email that said, hey, we think that you'd be the most amazing fit for this show. You're absolutely beautiful and so fit. And the show is about trying to guess if you're transgender or not. And, you know, so that was a good day for me. I was like, hey, they said I was pretty and that I could literally be mistaken for a very fit man.

Goal of the show was to guess at the end of the show if you were male or female. And they sent this to you. Like, like you would say yes to being on this show.

Well, people said yes, so I was just not one of them. Oh, my. I was like, babe, this is my moment, my claim to fame.

I want to be known for this. So, yeah, that puts a new spin on he said, she said.

It really does.

Like, you could just do this as a solo episode.

Technically, you decide. Technically, you decide. I, hey, I have masculine and feminine inside of me. I'm good with it.

There was a joke there. I just held back from saying, all.

Right, keep it to yourself.

Okay, listen, let's add some value instead of just like, that was valuable. That was valuable. Actually, it's funny as hell. We got a question a lot this week and by the way, guys, keep dming us. We are questions that you want to hear from us at Chris W. Harder on Instagram, at Lori harder on Instagram. And the question we kept getting this week was basically, if I had to sum it up into one question, how do I up level my tribe? And the questions seem to take two forms. It was in the form of how do I get better customers? One example is one of the questions. They're saying they keep working with customers that want to always bargain on their prices and then when they refer people, those people always want to bargain on their prices. They feel trapped. And then the other form that that question took was how do I just uplevel my friends tribe? Like, how do I hang out with people that are better for me or people that are going to help me grow? But overall, I can't believe how much we got this question, how do I up level my tribe?

So there's a few things that you can do. I think that we're talking about a long game and a short game because sometimes in life you need to play the long game and build, you know, really good relationships. And a lot of times you don't know if things are going to come back to you or not. So you really do just have to decide to want to be the person who adds value to a ton of different people. So that is going to be the long game. Like, kind of pick your running list of people that you admire and see out in the world doing really great things that you also want to support. So I kind of have a running list in my head of like, oh, I think like 10 to 20 women that really stand out in my mind who I always see doing things for other people that I also want to do things for. And then I have a more strategic list of, wow, right now, this is what my business needs. And these are the five women that I really want to get on their radar. So I put that intention out in the world just in my mind, first of all. Secondly, then I go and think about, who do I know that knows them? How can I ask for a possible connection? And if I do, I don't know anyone who knows them. How can I start getting on their radar? So I really start watching what they're doing, reading their emails, getting on their list, resharing their stories. If they're supporting something, what I will do is if I see they're supporting a cause or they're supporting a friend, I will also then go and support that cause or friend to be like, hey, I'm a woman who really wants to see women succeed or support you and what you're doing and what you're passionate about. And then I will tag them or share it or attempt to get on their radar a few, few times. Like that. When I say a few, it could literally be anywhere from 2 to 15 times. I will start to intentionally comment on their stuff daily too. So if you guys need a running list to take 20 minutes a day to go and look at that five that you want to get on your list intentionally, go comment every day. Go share their stories and little dms just to be like, hey, you know, get on their radar. Let them know who you are as a person. I will tell you if they have a, A, you know, a large following. If you're going to write long, long messages in their DMs, they may not even read them. So little short things just like, oh, you have a golden doodle. I have one too. Blah, blah, blah. I love the name, like, you know, whatever that is. But just getting on the radar, I can't tell you what that means because, Chris, I know that you like it's the same thing. You're more inclined to be like, more open to meeting someone. When you finally get to meet someone in person. If you recognize them from even commenting, I know they're like, oh, I don't know if you know who I. I comment all the time. I'm like, I totally know who you are, Kitty Face 83. Like, I literally know you as Kitty Face 83. Like, totally. And I'm just like, your name is Julia. Can I call you Kitty Face 83? Because I feel a very warm connection in that way instead.

It's so true. Honestly, you can get on anyone's radar, share their posts, comment all the time, tag them if they have something going on Like a program launched or a book out or they're, you know, putting an event on. Like just share their event. That costs nothing to share their event. To be like, hey everybody in Albuquerque, there's a cool event that someone's putting on. You know, check it out. I really look up to this person. You do that enough times and people know who you are without ever meeting you. It's the craziest thing ever. So that's one way to add value. Another thing is like locally to up level your tribe, stop trying to get invited to where the people are that you want to meet and start creating the events and invite them. I'm not kidding. More people will say yes than you think. And I've done this with guys dinners. You know, I did an episode a while back where I really wanted just a better connection with more up leveled guys in the area here. So I planned a dinner and I invited a bunch of people to it and the first one was a hit. And then I did another one and I invited even like, what's the word? I don't wanna say higher level. But like people that I wanted to connect with on a high level invited them. Some of them came, did another one, some of them came. And now I've got these guys dinners with the highest quality individuals that have really helped first form and then second, reinforce these friendships. So are they lunch and learns? Are they dinners? Are they coffee meetups in the morning before work? Are they weekend events? Is it a car club you put together like guys, get creative. Create the thing that you can invite the people to that you wish you had a chance to get to know. You create the container and many of them will show up more than you expect.

Yeah. And I remember when you were first putting these dinners together and you're like, you know what, I'm just going to go for it. Like if they say no, whatever. And I think what happens is you put the first one together and maybe the people who said no who were like, I'm not sure what this is or I don't know who this guy is, you get one person who they know to show up and they're like, oh, well, he was there or he went, or she went, or whoa, this person that I know also went and said it was this great time, maybe I'll go to the next one. And that's how it works. You can't just do one and be like, nobody showed up. You got to do like 10, you got to do a lot works.

Okay, so we're kind of talking about how do you get on the radar and how do you meet people that you want to meet in your personal life that you want to level up? The other half of this question I noticed was how do you uplevel your customers? How do you get out of this trap where you have cheap or broke customers? Referring cheap or broke customers. And I know my audience, the bulk, majority of everybody listening, they have some kind of product to sell because they are in business. And so we all want the best customers or the best clients possible. And I want you to picture this feedback loop or this referral loop. Here's what happens. You say yes to some clients that you know do not fit your ethos. And by the way, at first you just have to say yes to get the revenue coming. And I get it. But you start saying yes to clients that don't quite fit the clientele that you want to serve and you do a great job. And because you do a great job, guess what you get? You get referrals. The problem is the referrals sound something like this. When they are referrals from cheap or, you know, lower level customers, they sound something like this. It's oh my God, you've got to work with Lori. She is so good at what she does and she's super cheap and she'll even bargain. I'm not kidding.

That's what back in my gym days, personal training days, that was my.

It's horrible.

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So how do you break out of that negative referral loop? Number one, you have to go seek out the higher level customers you want, find a way to add value to them back to that theme and then reach out to them. If you reach out to 10 people, one will say yes, I promise you. So reach out to 10 people that you do want to serve with your customer. Get one of them or more to say yes, blow their mind. And now guess what kind of referrals you're gonna get from them higher level referrals where it starts to sound like this, hey, listen, Lori's the best. You gotta work with her. She's not cheap, but she's totally worth it.

Yep. And I just wanna throw in that I remember having this conversation with you, Chris, back when I owned a small training studio. And I was like, I'm just working my for such a small amount of money with selling these training packages. And it was the moment that you were like, you have to charge more. Like the next person that comes in to do a assessment, you have to tell them this new pricing. Like, you just have to say it with confidence. And I remember being like, I don't believe that I'm worthy of that. But I also went back to thinking, will it be okay with me if I sell this lower end package again and spend all of this time with this person? And I was like, I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I'm exhausted. I actually don't have space unless people start paying more for my time. So I had to do it. And I remember the first time being so nervous. And the woman said, that is insane. That's too expensive. And sure enough, it came back to me and I was like, I knew it, blah, blah, blah. And you were like, you gotta do it again. And I did it again. And I remember I had this one woman randomly show up and I was like, at the time, I was in Wisconsin and I just. I don't know if I'd ever even really seen Range Rovers in person at this time or knew what they were. And she pulled up in a Range Rover and I was like, okay, oh my gosh, where did this, like, woman come from? I'm so nervous. What's she gonna think? Is she gonna, like, judge my gym? And I was like, I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna stick to my guns. Asked for the pricing, she said yes. And that was it. Like, all I needed was one yes to the from then on out, I had a lot of people tell me I was way too high. But I got more yeses and grew my business. And the more confident I got, the more money I charged. And I'll tell you, as my prices went up, I became a better trainer because it held me to a higher standard. I wasn't gonna show up as a trainer who was like, you know what? I'm giving this to her for free. So it's okay if I'm 15 minutes late? Nope, not anymore. I was always on time and I was always an elite trainer who charged elite prices simply because of my prices.

You literally threw yourself up into a positive referral loop and pulled yourself out of that negative referral loop simply by raising your prices. And by the way, I get that fear kicks in. But if you just do a little math, you realize, wait, even if I double these prices, that means I only have to serve one person for every two less expensive customers that I'm serving right now. So that means I can get more no's because I just need one to make up for every two that I'm gonna lose, Right? So do the math sometimes and the math alone will give you what you need to reinforce it.

So you guys, I'm so grateful for you. We're gonna jump on once a week and give you Chris's perspective and my perspective and I can't wait for you to keep tuning in. What we wanna do is have you send us questions. I have been screenshotting as many questions as I can. I'm gonna put em in my little folder so that we can pull em out, say who's telling us questions, give you a shout out. We would love to share who you are and share your questions. So make sure that you are letting us know what you want to know. And until next time, what do we say? How do we blend our podcasts?

I don't know, maybe something like this.

Earn your money, earn your happy and for the love of money. So yeah, there you go.

Appreciate you guys. Thanks for listening.

All right, have a good one.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye Bye.