505. He said, She said

Law of attraction is real because it subconsciously affects how we perform in the world. And it's either pulling back on our performance, causing more problems, or it's enhancing our performance, causing us to get everything that we want.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Foreign. Welcome back to our new episode of he said, she said where I have invited my husband on my show and he's invited me on his show.

I was just gonna say, remember, this is released on both shows.

Thank you very much. Both of our shows.

Okay, so what are we talking about?

We are talking about distractions.

Distractions? Why are we talking about distractions?

Because it is. Because you're so distracted right now. Just kidding. Because it is what stops people from everything. And I think that the current climate of everything that's going on right now is just a perfect example of what goes on every single day for people. And it is the distractions and what is cluttered in your life that's actually stopping you from moving forward and giving attention to what is, is most important.

Don't get me started on this, okay? Whether it is coronavirus, people that are freaking out watching the news about that. Whether it is like the primaries for the elections, whether it is gossip, whether it is. I don't even understand how people get anything done. They are so obsessed right now with fear based thinking. They are so obsessed right now with thinking that the way the election this year turns out is actually going to affect their lives. News break. It doesn't really affect the outcome of your life, especially day to day. You can make a great life no matter who wins the election. So stop letting it be a distraction. I can tell I'm going to go off. Slow down a minute.

What I, what I want to say is that it's not like. And Chris and I have this conversation all the time. It's not like we're putting our head underneath a rock because I do think it's very important to know what's going on in the world. But there's only certain things that you can do to. So what we do is we look at what's going on, we educate ourselves, we try to get a bunch of different perspectives and then we say, what can we currently do about it right now if we can't do anything else? Then we go back to what we're doing and focusing on. We focus on our higher purpose and we focus on how we can actually help people. Because the second that I start going into fear, I actually pull back. I start thinking the world is bad, I start thinking the world is scary. And I start feeling like I can't help people. And I pull back from every. Everything that I'm doing and it stops me. It pulls all of my power. I literally feel all the energy go out of my body. Like when I focus on the fear, I stop taking action, I stop living. And I start thinking about all the worst case scenarios. And that's not actually number one, how you live your life or solve anything. That's what I want. This is what I want people to hear. It's not actually how you even solve anything or take precautions. There's very actionable things that you can do. Like we said, coronavirus. Really educate yourself. Read the articles that are going around to different companies. Read the articles that are all being said from all different perspectives. How is it actually going to affect you, your country, your state, your particular environment? Learn about that. Take the precautions, live life again.

Yeah, and then shut it down.

And then shut it down.

I watch people get paralyzed and distraction and it angers me because there is so much to be done in this world. You know my saying, when good people make good money, they do great things. You're not doing anything good to help anybody by sitting there in front of the news for 24 hours a day and then regurgitating the drama that they're spreading. Because I think I need to remind everybody the only way that news exists is by attracting eyeballs. The only way to attract eyeballs is to play to human nature, which is to make you scared or to show something dramatic or to dramatize something, to make it, you know, bigger than life, bigger than what it is. So that it is very alluring in order to attract you and get you to stare at and tune into the news 24 7. I had a good friend over yesterday, Jim Quick, and we're having this conversation and he's like, I'm watching people be just paralyzed and making decisions that they would never normally make. In life because of things like the election, because of things like the coronavirus and other things right now. So I feel like there's two camps right now. There's Camp Drama, who's addicted to seeing how this is going to unfold, and they're living in fear. And then there's Camp roll up your sleeves and get shit done. Because that's your mission here. And you got to choose which camp you're going to be in.

Well, fear is addicting. And I just want to say, if you're in that place right now of fear, because I need to play the other side, it's probably the way that you have been programmed to think. It's probably the way that you have been raised to think. And honestly, it is human nature to do that because we, we are programmed to stay alive. And I think that when it's constantly in your face and things that seem very serious and news channels and people are telling you, you know, to take precautions or to be afraid, that's going to clearly hit that survival part of your brain. But here's the thing. Yes, we could all die tomorrow. Take precautions, whatever is necessary and realistic. And from there, live your life. Because I don't want to look back if something does happen in the world and say, wow, I just sequestered myself for years and stayed in and didn't do a thing and didn't live my life.

I just remembered something from a show we watched last night. So a lot of times late at night, Laurie and I'll put on one episode of something just to totally veg out, right? And we're watching Mad Men and it's like season two or three and it's the part during Mad Men when the Cuban Missile crisis is at an all time high. And one of the characters says to a priest, she says something about, there's a good chance that we're all not even going to be here tomorrow, right? Because it was the peak of the Cuban Missile crisis when everyone thought there was going to be a breakout nuclear war and everyone was going to die. And it was like real life for them at that time. Now he responds to her. I thought this was awesome. He responds to her and he says, hasn't that always been the case every day of our life. And it was such a great. Put her in her place. Like any day could be your last day. Stop worrying about things you can't control. Live life to its fullest. Because 99% of what you worry about never, ever, ever happens anyways. And you need to change your Default addiction to drama and worry, to production and to happiness.

There was even a time in Santa Monica where I was so focused on fear around getting hit by a car because it was all people were talking about for a little while. We saw a couple people get hit by cars in person. And I remember being like, oh my God, maybe I shouldn't go running, because I just. I was afraid of all these people getting hit by cars. And when I stopped focusing on it and just got really, really cautious and said, okay, you are going to do your best at every single stoplight to be over cautious, not count on the signs, not count on anything like take the precautions that you can and be really, really aware of the traffic around you. Because there's so many people who are on their phones and there's so many distractions in this beautiful area that we live in that I just said, I'm not gonna stop doing the thing that I love just because so many people are getting hit by cars. Because I do believe that part of it is because they're not looking. They're just not taking precautions and looking out for themselves. And I thought, I can still do what I love, but I can still look around me. And that might sound crazy to you, but it is a crazy high number of people daily who are getting hit by cars here. And it freaked me out for a while.

Here's one thing you can do if you find that yourself, that you're distracted by anything right now or sucked into the sensationalizing of anything of right now, just become so dang productive that you don't have time for it. Like, I'll be real. I am in. Oh, I just came out of my busy season and Lori is like in her season starting new companies, the whole nine yards. We don't have time to flip on the news. We don't have time to do anything other than quickly educate ourselves based off of a educational article that, you know, we come across on here. So precautions you can take. We don't have time for anything else. And this is literally can be your very, very, very simple way of solving your fears and solving your distractions. Just put your head down and work so damn hard, you don't have time for this other garbage, whether it's gossip, fear, drama, addiction, any of that stuff. And when you do all of those things, not only do they stay out of your life because you're not looking for them, but because you've put your head down and you're just working so dang hard and you're so productive, you Wake up one day and you have an abundance of everything. That solves almost any problem you would have been afraid of anyways. It's amazing how that happens.

Yeah. I just. I want to point out this is not about turning a blind eye. This is about looking at it, finding what solution you can do for yourself and your family, and then living life because it does nothing but make you feel miserable and make you feel like your life is already over. And I believe in Law of Attraction, so I think it's also really important to not focus on what could happen if somebody gets something or something happens. Like, that's no way to live. That's no way to live.

When you say you believe in Law of Attraction, and I don't mean to take a weird left turn, describe what you think Law of Attraction is.

To me, I live my life as if I'm already in the life that I want. Meaning, even if it's happiness, even if it's like, I wake up in the morning and I don't feel happy right away, I'm like, how do I want to feel? What do I already want in existence? And what would that feel like? So it's like, oh, I want this right now. I want this thriving company, and I want to be a leader for so many people. I want to pave the way for women, to show them how they can live in their purpose and their dreams and make money and give back with that money, make large sums of money, learn how to raise money, invest. So all of those things, I'm embodying what that would feel like as if I already had that now. And I'm also asking myself the question, where can I already do that now and take that stance without this company having to be there? So I'm already living as if. So I already kind of live. I already do live my dream life. And I'm not going to live in fear, because I believe that when you, you know, Gabby Bernstein always says, you know, when you worry is a prayer. And I feel that I know that when I worry, and I know that when I'm in fear that I attract chaos. Meaning maybe I don't even attract it, but I start to see it everywhere in my life because what we focus on is what we live. And when I see it everywhere, that's how I start feeling, and that's the life I start living. So instead of walking down this beautiful street that we live on, Chris, and looking at, you know, the. The beautiful people smiling back at me and the palm trees and just everything beautiful around Me, when I'm in fear, I put my head down. I focus on who's not saying hi me, who didn't hold the door for me. I focus on the person who just ran the red light. I focus on the problems. I focus on, why aren't we doing something about the homeless in this community. I focus on, you know, oh, our garbage cans just got stolen. It's getting worse. I focus on the crime. I focus on, your bike just got stolen. It's getting terrible. And I'm not gonna focus on that because I can't live that life. I'm gonna look at everything that is good because we're so freaking blessed and fortunate. And because I'm focused in the good, I'm gonna do good. I'm gonna get good. I'm gon and I'm going to put it to a solution to solve problems of how can we look at how we could solve problems, help people make money so that if things do come up with their health, they could actually pay for medication. They could actually pay for what they need in the world. They could actually take the precautions that they need when situations like this arise. And that's how you stay solution based.

I always struggle with Law of Attraction. I think people frame it as this magical energy. Like if I sit down, close my eyes and picture what I want, then it's just going to appear. And I'm not telling you that's not true. But the logical side of me says I can kind of dissect what's happening and show you why those things are coming true. And it's not some magical radio frequency that you're tuning into. I believe it's something like this. You get what you look for, but in a very practical way. So when you wake up in the morning and you're afraid of this and you're afraid of that, it subconsciously helps. It subconsciously determines what you're going to do and how you're going to show up in the world. And so you might show up as 80% you instead of 110% you. And because you're showing up like 80% you, now your boss starts to have a problem with how you're doing at your job. And when you show up as 80% you, you know, now you don't make that new friend that would have been attracted to you at lunch had you been 100% you. And so I really believe that it's just kind of this subconscious way that we're showing up based on what we're focusing on. Now flip the script. You wake up in the morning and you do your meditation and you, you quote, sit in the good energy and you visualize what you want. Again. I don't think some magical radio frequency it all sudden delivers you the motorhome you're picturing. What I really think happens is because you do those things. Remember, you get what you focus on. You show up 110% you and you smile more and you say hi first to someone instead of waiting for them to say hi to you first. And you do extra good at work. And now your boss gives you the promotion. And because you got that promotion, now you can go get your motorhome. Like I. The practical side of me says yes, law of attraction is real, but not because of fairy dust and Disney magic. Law of attraction is real because it subconsciously affects how we perform in the world. And it's either pulling back on our performance causing more problems, or it's enhancing our performance, causing us to get everything that we want.

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Mm, I love that. Right down to, you know, I in, in my life I've had a lot of different, just family things going on. And you know, I think it's really easy for so many people because it's easy for me to get roped into family drama. And I really feel like the conversation should all be what are our options and what's the solution? And you know, once everything's out and talked about, it's like what are our options and what's the solution? And a lot of people don't like those two phrases because it solves things. And we're so addicted to a pattern. When we don't create bigger problems that that are purposeful in our lives, we look at the problems that don't have purpose because we are addicted to solving things. We are addicted to just having something in our lives that we are going towards. And if you don't have purpose in your life, if you don't create problems for yourself that have purpose on the other side. Or if you don't solve, create problems that you can solve that are important, purposeful, impactful, you're going to look at the problems and create problems that are dramatic. We're constantly just creating something to do, we need something to do. So I, it's really having those two paths of just saying or there's those two ways of solving a problem. What, what are we doing? Like what's the problem and what is the solution? Or what are our choices and what's the best solution? And sometimes there's not a solution that's like a win win for everybody. Sometimes there's a solution that's the best case scenario out of crap.

Sometimes you're choosing from the lesser of two evils.

Yeah, sometimes you're choosing from the lesser of two evils. But it's the only way through. So if you don't want to sit in it anymore, you have to take one of the solutions and start moving toward it and it's all that you can do. And I think that that is a beautiful way to be. Like O I have, I'm starting to have these set of tools for when this, these different things arise. Okay, there's a lot of drama going on in the world. What are the options and what solution will I choose? Okay, there's a lot of drama going on in my family. Okay, what are the options and what's the solution that I choose? And then all you do is focus on the solution and you stop focusing on the problem.

I love that. That's so good. It's so practical. Anybody can do it. And this is your wake up call to become conscious of it and just start putting it into practice. You know, a lot of people are like, oh, easy for you to say because of X, Y and Z or you haven't experienced this and I get that. I honor that. But every single thing in the world, including the advice she just gave, really comes down to two things. One, become conscious that you got an issue. Two, decide you want to change it. And three, start putting the reps in. Catch it and change it. Catch it and change it. Catch it and change it. Until it becomes your default to live life that way.

And wash your damn hands everywhere you.

Go, otherwise you're gonna get coronavirus.

Don't even say that. You are not. Wash up to your elbows though, okay? Love you guys. Until next time. Earn your happy and.

And when good people make good money, they do great things. Bye.

Thank you guys. So much for spending this time with me on the Earth. Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.