508. Stay OPEN to changing your purpose - with Lisa Bilyeu

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I think a lot of people have put so much pressure on the self care part of it, you know, in making sure that we meditate and things like that, that if someone doesn't, it's always like all frowned upon now. And I'm just like, when do we just stop judging ourselves and each other and just say make a decision that's right for you?

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey everyone, welcome back.

So excited that you're here.

Truly, you have no idea what it's like to sit alone in a room and really hope that people listen to you. You guys, I just pray one day you can sit in front of a microphone and talk to a bunch of people that are not there, but you just picture them. So here's what I'm picturing. I'm Picturing you driving in your car. So hands up driving the car. I'm picturing you running, picturing you at your desk at work. Like, God, I wish there were. When I was in a corporate setting, why did I not get the memo on podcasts, like totally could have killed two birds with one stone and actually been entertained instead of God, what did I do at my desk all day?

For real?

All right, so on the podcast today we have someone who is just one of those women who completely inspires me all of the time. She's been on the podcast once before, but she was on with a friend, so I never really got to dive super deep with her on Earn your Happy and I knew that I wanted to. I have been featured on her show Women of Impact and her husband's show Impact Theory, which was one of the greatest experiences. Both of their shows was just such an incredible experience to be on, to be on such a well produced show and to have such a large audience and also just to connect to some of the best interviewers that I've ever been interviewed by. So Lisa Bilyeu is my guest today. She's the co founder and president of Impact Impact Theory. It's a digital media production company focused on empowering content. I know that many of you have listened to their show or been moved by their show or impacted by their show. If not, you need to go check it out. In addition to co founding Impact Theory, she co founded the billion dollar brand Quest Nutrition. Friends, you cannot go into a store without seeing a Quest bar or being tempted by it. Her career trajectory has been an astonishing arc from housewife to entrepreneur, transforming her business to focus from nutrition to entertain media. And now jumping in front of the camera, she hosts her show Women of Impact that centers on all things female empowerment. This episode is so much fun. She's so amazing. She's got incredible talents that she's taking and applying into other things, which is just amazing because we truly can take the things that we are passionate about and turn them into our businesses. Maybe not right away in the beginning, but eventually we have nothing that is stopping us from doing exactly what she we want. And I think she embodies this so beautifully and it would be a complete disservice to you to tell you or to not tell you that I must see you at the Bliss Project at the end of March because it is going to be the most epic Bliss project that we have had yet. It is in Marina del Rey, California, you guys. It is right on the water. It's insane. Let alone that there's just being there for the weekend would be epic at the Ritz Carlton, let alone there is an awesome event going on with incredible women from all around the world. Our guest speakers this year are insane. You are not going to want to miss it. Also, I just have to tell you some of my favorite part is creating the stage and the photo opportunities. That's all. I don't know. I love me a good boomerang. You're not going to want to miss this. You're going to want to insert yourself into the pictures if you're not there. You're going to meet your tribe. You're going to get all your answers. You're going to connect because truly, I'm just gonna brag for one second. I know how to facilitate deep connection and help you find the answers that you need. And so do all of these incredible speakers. And I really want you to step into your power to let go of what's holding you back and to get out of your own way. Let's face it, if you're not willing to get in the room, that is you getting in the way. Just get in the room and trust the process of what happens. It is what I have done. It is how everything has happened for me. So go to theblissproject.info and I can't wait to see you.

We're gonna. It's gonna be fun.

It's going to be fun even if you're freaking out. Okay, let's get started.

Lisa, I'm so excited to have you on the show.

Thank you for having me. Laurie, I'm so excited to talk to you.

So last time I got to talk.

To you on this show was I had you on with another person, Cassie.

Yes.

And it was absolutely amazing. And I will tell you that literally when I was sitting with both of you, I was just like, okay, I need to actually have a separate interview with both of them. Because while that was freaking amazing, now I'm just like, lisa, tell me more, tell me more.

It is so hard to interview two.

People who are both fricking so awesome and dynamic because it's like you just get sucked into one story and you're like, okay, clearly we need to be able to have a completely separate interview.

Yeah. God, I feel the same about you. And I hope you know that obviously having your women of impact, it's like even just recording that for an hour, I was like, I could go for so much longer. Like, we just really freaking connected. I think from day one since we met. So I thank you so much for having me on. It's an absolute honor to be on again and do a solo episode.

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Oh my gosh, this is going to be awesome.

I've, I, I just ran through some.

Of the topics before we hit record that I wanted to.

Go over with her.

We'll probably get to like three of them. I have big dreams of getting to all 10 of these. So, Lisa, I want to know what has been just, I believe that every year kind of has like this theme to it, like some of either the biggest lessons or a word or something that you're really going through or focusing on. So I want to hear about what 2019 lesson was for you, and then I want to hear what you feel like this year's word or thing is for you.

Oh, all right. So 2019's lesson. So at the beginning of the year, I had said to myself, I need to get my health on track. And I absolutely have to prioritize it. You know, building Quest and then starting impact theory. My health just completely went. And for like four years, I've been battling with just massive digestion and gut issues. And I've never put myself first. I've always put my business first. I've always put my relationship with my husband first. And last January I was like, okay, now's the time, Lisa. You're not healing. And to fool yourself into thinking that it's an external reason is just pulling the wool over your eyes. It's like I had to admit that my lifestyle and the way that I was caring for myself was actually absolutely what was the problem and why I couldn't heal. And so I just faced that reality. And so I went into last year going, it is all your fault, Lisa. But the great news is now you can change it. And so last year I started to do acupuncture. I started to go to a more holistic doctor that was talking about stress Management. I was getting massages every week. I was very, very strict on supplement taking. I was making sure that I was always taking them. So I was really doing a lot of self care. I was reducing my workload, I was finding different methods and ways to do less and really focus on the high level stuff of my business. So it really changed my entire strategy and way of thinking. And then the last piece of the puzzle really came at the end of last year where I ended up buying a new house and that big thing for me because, you know, we have a studio in our house. We have about 25 employees that come to our house every single day. And so my work life and my personal life were completely intertwined day in, day out. And people were coming. I mean literally 7am people are turning up and I'm still in my pajamas or I'm in the gym working out, you know, and then I'm, you know, walking out of the gym and we've got employees there. And even though I chose that, and I don't beat myself up for choosing that lifestyle because it has gotten me where I am with my business, I knew that I had to change that as well. And so just before Christmas we bought a new place. And so now I'm really trying to find that new habits and patterns and figure out how I, you know, I'm able to do that. But it's made already in like the last three or four weeks. It's made such a difference on splitting my spaces up. So self care has been massive for me last year.

That is the best thing to hear because we have a team in our house right now all the time and we are looking for, for office space.

And there's a part of it that's.

A little nervous because there is a part that's amazing, right, to like roll out of bed or stay, like have your team working there while you can just like not have to travel somewhere or do something. So are you having to go somewhere to go into the office or what does that look like for you? What's been that integration for you?

Yeah, so our studio has still kept our studio. And so me and Tom moved out and bought a new house to live in. So our studio space is still where it is. And the one thing also I want to mention is even doing this two things at once for three years, like I absolutely knew it was a hindrance to my health. So I wasn't like I was blinded by it. I just chose to put my business first. And so that is also really important. So even with you right now when you've got, you know, people, your house, it's like making that conscious effort. It's like, no, no. Okay, I'm going to choose to sacrifice this in, you know, to better my business or to better this goal that I have. And what I had to do is I had to flip them slightly. So initially I was like, I'm going to do whatever it takes to build this business to be, you know, amazing business partner to my husband. And over time that last year I had to consciously change it and say, okay, I'm going to keep my business moving forward. So I know that I'm still not going to heal 100%. I'm very conscious of that. But now I need to back off on certain things and take a hard look at myself and see what I'm holding on to that I don't need to hold on to. And I had to go with those things and in effort to let go of those, it allowed to free myself up to then do more self care. But when I reflected back everything I was holding onto was purely egos sake. It actually wasn't in service of the business anymore. So that was actually really interesting.

Can you expand on that? Just expand a little bit. Like for example.

Absolutely. So when we were at Quest, I had built our studio out and so every piece of content I'd ever been a part of, produced or executive produced, I had always reviewed. So not one piece of content ever went out without my approval. And Tom, when we started to do Impact Theory, you know, it gone to probably around 300 shows, our shows, 300 of them, not one of them had ever gone out without my eyes. And I was the safety blanket. I was this, you know, the safety net for the company, for Tom, for myself, that nothing would ever go out without my approval. And after I started to really assess where all my time was going. So what I did is I pulled up my calendar and I just said, look at the last three weeks and look at where your time has gone. And now create two columns. One, is it moving you forward or is it not? And so I went through every single thing on my calendar and put it in a bucket. Moving me forward or not? Moving me forward or not. And I saw I was spending five hours a week on just reviews and then I was spending another three hours on set just watching the shows being shot. And so I was like, wow, that's like eight hours. That's a whole, you know, to some people that's a work day for them.

Yeah.

And here I am Looking and hang on a minute. Do I not trust my team? Of course I trust my team. So why on earth am I reviewing everything if I know that I've got a good team to back, you know, have our back, and know that they're not going to put out something that is either against, you know, our reputation or our beliefs or anything like that? Why am I going through this again? Why am I with you? Why am I spending this time? And once I started to kind of pick things apart, I really realized it was ego, because I loved being able to say, nothing's gone out without my approval. Like, it actually wasn't for the business anymore. And so once I was able to go, Lisa, that is for your own ego. That is that you can say that, you can feel good about it, but ultimately, you're not moving the business forward. You're not moving yourself forward, so you have to let go. Literally the next day I went in, I declared I'm never going to review any piece again, and I'm only ever going to be on set. If it's something that is, like, personal and fulfillment for me in that moment, then I just won't do it. Like, literally, I just black and white. I just stopped. And so that was a huge thing for me. That really freed me up to then use that time, really, to take care of myself.

Wow.

That can so be applied to tons of people who listen to this podcast, because whether they are outsourcing to maybe their first assistant or they have have a small team or they have a large team, like, a lot of us have these things that we are not fully using, and maybe we're feeling resentful or maybe we're like, you know, we don't know if we can trust them. Like, how do you build that trust? And how do you really lean into, like, utilizing your support system or creating one for yourself?

Yeah, I love that question. And it comes down to. We have a phrase. Are you denting the car or are you wrecking the car? So if it's a wrecking moment, like, you're totaling the car, I'm never gonna get it back. You need to come through me, period. Because I'm not willing to ever risk the company, our reputation, the mission, everything we've built. I'm never gonna risk that, period. So I know that. But then if it's like, if you just dent in the car, it's really not a big deal, right? So if it comes to, like, a social post or even a video that goes out, it's like, if the Video isn't any good. Okay, well, I can put it down if the worst came to the worst, you know, and if it' going to dent our reputation, I need to see myself as being somebody that builds an amazing reputation over time, not just from one thing. So if I'm worried that I put out one piece of content that is garbage, well, then I haven't really built a reputation over these last few years that I can lean on. And you know, you're never defined by one moment, even just as a person. I think about what you like as a friend or what you like as a wife or a daughter or a mother. Like, you're never going to be defined by the that one moment. But don't be fooled that you don't earn a reputation and that reputation gets built up over time. So for me, it's like, okay, well, if somebody is going to potentially damage a piece of our reputation on one piece that's out there, then I've either done my job over these last few years or I haven't. And if I'm worried about one little piece that is going to literally wreck my company, then I'm not doing my job, period. So that's really where I go with making decisions. And being able to lean on other people is like, is it a dentist the calm moment, or is it. Is it wrecking the calm moment?

So good.

So you have.

I just want to point out, you're the co founder and president of Impact Theory. You've co founded Quest Nutrition, you've created Women of Impact, which is freaking awesome. I have so been honored to be on your show. And we'll talk about that a little bit more in a second. But building a team like this is. It's one thing to build a business, and then all of a sudden you're like, whoa, building a team. And I just think whether you have a team or not, this is about relationships. And something that I've watched you do so beautifully is have incredible relationships with people. And I think that starts with learning how to be a leader yourself. So it's so great because you guys came and spoke as guests at one of our masterminds, and ever since then, we've actually taught every single mastermind after that about, if it's a part of the mission, it's your job, no matter what that job is. I'm like, do you remember, like, talking about that? Can you explain a little bit about that with your team? It was like you were like, literally, if it's a, if it's a gum Wrapper on the ground. Like, I don't care who you are, if it's a part of the mission and it helps the mission, then it's everybody's job on the team.

Yeah. First of all, your mastermind was amazing and I loved being part of it. And then having you on my show was an absolute honor back. So thank you, girl, in regards to that. God, building a team. And I want people just to give a little bit of context to where I come from. So my husband, we wanted to make movies. We wanted to, like, get enough money so that we could pay for them ourselves because we actually hated the film industry at the time. And so my husband went off to build businesses. He was like, I'm gonna go make money. I was like, yeah, great, babe, I'll support you. I'll be home. We'll do it for 18 months, and then together we'll take that money and make movies. Seemed like a great line at the time. And so 18 months turned into almost nine years. And so I had no intention of being a stay at home wife, but I actually ended up being a stay at home wife for eight years. And so for eight years I had my two puppies and I was a mother to them, and that was it. I had no full time job. The job I'd had prior to that, like an actual paid gig, was before I got married in England, so. So I had never been a leader, never owned my own business, ever. And then quest came along. My intention was just to help my husband out and I'll just ship some bars on my living room floor and shipping my bars from living room floor. We didn't expect to grow at 57,000%. And so we went from zero to a billion dollars in less than five years, which is amazing, but I didn't expect it. And so my skill sets weren't up to par. And what happened was when I was just shipping bars from my living room floor, I thought, this is easy. And then the next thing I knew, I had a warehouse and I had an employee. And I was so scared to ask my employee to do anything because I was like, well, I can't tell him to do this if I'm standing here. Like, why wouldn't I just do it myself? And so a lot of the time, for the first, like six months, I was like doing stuff instead of telling him to do it. And then eventually I started to learn, okay, you can't scale like this. You have to be able to lean on people. So I would lean on people, and then I Started to realize, okay, there's a way to lean on people, there's a way to motivate them to be there for you, and there's a way to demotivate them to not want to do anything for you. And so I had to learn what that language was and how, where that fine line is. And I was, you know, I'm very friendly and I love people so I always try to be my employees friends. And then that blew up in my face because you're trying to be nice and you love people and you want to see them do good. And so you sometimes get keep people for way longer than you should. And you know, it's basically comes back to the humanity of a person. For me, it's like I'd never experienced you know, firing someone knowing that, oh my God, I'm taking away their paycheck. And you know, so I didn't want to fire anyone. But then that meant that people knew it. And so what happened was people weren't pulling their weight because they knew they could get away with it.

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So then I realized this isn't, this actually isn't in part going back to what you were saying about your mission. Like this doesn't align with my mission, with my goal. And I'm always very clear about what that mission is and what that goal is so that when I act in a certain way, I can say, does this help go towards your mission? Or away from your mission? Does this push you towards your goal or away from your goal? So when I started to realize that I wasn't very good at being a leader, I realized that's moving me away from my mission, mission and goal. So I better learn it. So that's then kind of then allowed me to look into how do I learn it. What books am I going to read? What podcasts am I going to listen to? What people am I going to follow on social that are going to teach me and empower me? And then I would try their skills or their tactics, and I would then see, does this work for me or not? Like, I would never go into it going, this is it. Because, you know, Sheryl Sandberg, I admire her so much, so she must be. Why, No. I read her book Lean In. I took the tactics, I tried to apply them to myself and my business, and then I saw, does this work for me, yes or no? If it did, I kept it and evolved it, and if it didn't, I took whatever lessons I could possibly learn and then I would move on. And I'm not sure if I answered your question, but.

So building a team and having to be that leader, like, having to learn how to be that leader and getting those lessons of, you know, I mean, I just love how much this applies to everything. I. I don't care if you work in corporate America or lead people or you are just in a relationship. There are going to be things reflected back at you that work for you and don't work for you, and how are you going to show up? And it's the hard stuff that really, really, really makes way for a beautiful.

Life and a beautiful team, 100%. And then I love the showing up part. It's showing up, up, and then when you make a mistake, because you will when you fail, because you will. If you're trying anything, that's going to be inevitable when you do that, when you fail, you can then look at it and go, what lessons did I learn? And then how do I grow and improve from it? So for me, being a leader, you know, in leadership and having employees and growing the business, it was every time it's like, okay, I've got to dent my ego. You know, brush it off, get back up, up. What can you learn from this? And then get better at it. And that type of mindset just fueled me to do better and be better every single time I failed as a leader instead of beating myself up because my instinct, and I know I use that phrase a lot it's because my instinct is to beat myself up. My instinct is to say, lisa, you failed. How could you see I told you so. Like, that's the negative voice that keeps appearing its ugly head in front of me. And I know that. And instead of just succumbing to it, I use tactics and things to allow me to get past it. And for me, it really is. Take this lesson, be better from it.

Where do you think that voice came from? Like, have you ever been able to kind of pinpoint it?

Yeah, I think, like, a lot of people, I think it just comes from, you know, not feeling like I was good enough. So growing up, I had frizzy hair and a unibrow, and my brother was very good looking, and my sister was very popular. I had braces. I had the head brace with, like, the elastic bands, you know, like that shebang. So that was me. And so I think self esteem. I didn't really have much self esteem growing up, and so I clutched onto anything that I possibly had. And to admit that I wasn't good enough yet to admit that I wasn't attractive or to admit that I had flaws only made me feel worse about myself. So I just tried to block that out. And so I always try to be right. I tried to be perfect. Tried to, you know, I wouldn't try anything unless it was going to be perfect or unless I could guarantee it was going to, you know, be successful. Because the last thing I ever wanted was to highlight any thoughts I had. I really had problems, you know, emotionally. So why would I, you know, encourage that? And now I'm the opposite. It's like, yep, I've got a fault. And I want to say it out loud to be able to then admit it, own it, and then do something about it. Like, that's the thing is, like, whatever fault anyone right now is listening thinks of themselves, the amazing news is, is that you know about it, so now you can fix it. And I would use that framing to motivate me and to empower me instead of bring me down and make me feel badly about myself. Goes back to what I was saying earlier about, you know, does it serve me or does it not serve me?

All right, so tell me about your show, Women of Impact. Where did that come from? From. Why is it such a passion? Something that is such a passion for you. And maybe one of the stories. Well, I'm sure so many have impacted you, but something that's really impacted you from Women of Impact.

Ooh. Well, the show really came about. I had no desires or dreams to ever be in front of the camera, to ever be doing interviews like this, like, that was never anything that I ever wanted. I was way just insecure to ever even think about putting myself on camera or being recorded any way, shape or form. And so I was always behind the scenes. So I, you know, was co founder of Quest, built that. Co founder of Impact Theory built that. I was always the background support system, make things happen. And then my health went. And so I've just been like, I've had a lot of struggles, not really thinking about it, but the more people I talk to, the more people like, oh, my God, you've done that too. Oh, my God, I can't believe that you've had that. And so having people be empowered by just me talking, to be honest, like, I never expected it. And I'm like, but I'm just telling my story. Like, you find that empowering and people are like, oh, my God, yes. And it really was that. That then made me take a step back and go, okay, Lisa, what is your mission? Your mission is to impact people. Okay? Here you are being told by other people that by telling your story, you're impacting them.

So.

So why am I not telling my storm story more? It's out of insecurity. It's out of not necessarily having a desire to be on camera. And I'm not saying that people should do things that they don't enjoy. I actively rebel against doing things that I don't enjoy. But I was like, I don't know if I don't enjoy it unless I try it. And so here you are, Lisa, saying, no, you don't want to do it because you don't enjoy it, but you've never actually tried it. So once I started dissecting again why I wasn't doing it, I started to realize it was out of. Of like, well, can I really do this? Do I really have anything good to say? Does anyone actually want to listen? Like, that all comes from insecurity. And so I was like, okay, now I'm not serving my mission again, so give it a shot. And look, people need to say, yes, you're impacting them or you're not, and it will come out in the wash. And if I am and I enjoy it, then I will continue it. If I'm not impacting people, then I'll just stop. And so I was like, okay, maybe I'll do a podcast. I'll just, you know, record, like, get some incredible women that I know, and I'll you know, have these conversations and in my true personality, which I should know by now is nothing ever ends up the way I anticipated. It always starts very small. Yeah, like I'm just gonna date this American guy, you know, 17, 17 years later I married him, moved to America and you know, built two businesses with him. So with the show it was like, I'm just gonna do, you know, voice, I'll do recording. And then Tom's like, but babe, we've got, we literally have studios in our house with cameras just sitting here. Why wouldn't you just press record? So I was like, all right, I'll just press record. And I was like, well, if I'm gonna use three cameras, I may as well use six. I have six cameras here, so why not? Well, if I've got six cameras, I might as well have someone to edit it. And it became a full on show as it is today. And you know, you were definitely one of my early guest, which was such an honor to have you on. And it's kind of just taken on a life of its own. It really has. It's being able to then bond with other women. Like what I didn't realize I'd started it to try and empower other people. And what I didn't expect was that I'm now doing it purely selfishly because every single time I have someone on, I learn something new. I have a different perspective, even if I don't agree with it, which I love talking to people with different perspectives. So it really has allowed me to grow from learning from the women. But also another thing is I like to push my boundaries of what I'm capable of. And so when I first started, I was just me. And then I was like, alright, Lisa, don't just go in going, well, this is just me. Like actually try and improve and every day try and be better. Every episode, try and do that one, one thing that's better than the last episode. Because I never want to be that same person. I don't ever want to listen to a podcast interview I've done or I've hosted, you know, a year ago and still be the same thing and still be the same person now. So growth is very important to me. And so when I look at each person, it's like anything new that I can learn from any new background, you know, my own history, my own past has made me who I am today. But there's a wealth, a world of experiences I don't even know exist. Like it wouldn't have even dawned on me that Someone would have had to go through X, Y and Z if I hadn't spoken to them about it, you know, so, like, sexual abuse I've never had to deal with, thankfully never myself. But since I've been doing the show, like, it is mind blowing how many women have had to deal with it on one. One way or another. So it's made me more empathetic towards that cause or that's, you know, that. God, I don't even know what to call it. That incident that, you know, know, I just. I wouldn't have realized how much it affects women if I hadn't have done all the episodes I've done. I wouldn't have realized how much diet or food disorders exist if I hadn't sat in front of women. Because I look, you know, I'm just as guilty as anybody else. I look at people on Social and I think about, oh my God, they're perfect, or they have this life and I want a wonderful relationship or wonderful business. Oh my God, they have the perfect body. And every time I get someone on the show, it ends up being like, wow, they actually are just human. And they weren't born with that perfect body and they've struggled with it and, you know, or with a relationship. It's just. I know I'm kind of going on that, but it really has opened my eyes to just so many different issues and that's made me just empathetic as a human.

I think that's so powerful and I could not be in the same boat with you more. As far as, like, now I do this show because it just has connected me, me and opened my eyes and so many different things and perspective is our power, like, to really be aware and realize how much of our struggles in life that we are not alone in how that just sharing that empowers us, like truly just letting it go in a safe space of understanding or, you know, when you host and people are talking to you and you create that safe environment, knowing that it's to going to get out to the people that need it, like, that is so healing as well. Sharing our stories as women is one of the most powerful things that I.

Think we can do.

Yeah, I actually have a question for you. Why do you think we always think we're alone in the problems that we go through?

I think that a lot of us are not sharing it enough yet. I think so many of us and so many of the women that we look up to and it's starting to become more and more common. But it's not an everyday conversation. And I think sometimes, because when we're going through it, we don't see it reflected back to us that it'd be challenging to put every single piece of content you put out. Hey, I also had this happen. It wouldn't be a very fun place to live.

That's really true.

But I do think it's important if anybody's listening, to share with people, like to ask or look for that evidence of other people who have gone through it and create that safe space for yourself or go, you know, confide with a friend or see where you can share, because that's. I mean, when things are going, you know. Lisa, I shared something with you right before this podcast, and I felt so much better just being able to share with you. And I felt more connected to you. So it's like just that power of even a brief share with somebody who is empathetic and just is able to kind of just sit with you in it, you know?

And I think you're 100% right. And even with my gut issues, I didn't talk about them for two years. I would literally was suffering in complete silence. I mean, I was going to work at Quest, and I had all these contraptions. Like, I would have these, you know, to test my gut biome. I would have, like, these machines attached to me. And I was so embarrassed. I would wear big, baggy clothes to hide the machinery that the doctors had given me because I didn't want anyone to know I was sick. And I think that that came down to my own insecurities and being embarrassed myself. So I wasn't talking about it. And you're 100% right. It's like if I wasn't talking about it, then I wasn't asking other people questions. And I think when you talk about something, it almost gives other people permission to be okay to talk about it, too.

Absolutely. Million percent. It's like, oh, wait, it's okay to actually say feeling and not feel. You know, I think as women, we feel like we're unloading on people or we're bothering them or when our. I don't know about you, but I grew up with my perspective. This is maybe not even what I was told, but my perspective of what I saw, the women going on around me. It was like our value came from if we were, you know, caregivers and nurturing.

Yes.

And peacemakers. And, you know, you were. You were loved. If you were just the person who was helping clean the house and helping out. And I remember seeing the people in my family who were, you know, otherwise known as the drains or the people who. People didn't want to be around because they were so negative. And it was like, oh, I don't want to be one of those people. So what happened happens is I think a lot of us from different stories I've heard, like, have felt like, oh, I'm not going to be valuable if I'm not constantly offering value. Like, if I share my problems, I'll be a burden.

Yes, yes, that's so true. And for me, just one more thing is I used to think that talking about problems made you appear weak. And I never wanted to appear week, especially, you know, when you've got people around you. The. You know, if you're running a business, you always want someone to be able to look up to you as a lead and never be like, oh, man, like, she's gonna crash and burn. So I think that was it as well, like, keeping it to myself so that nobody thought that I was weak, even though I did feel weak. And now I'm just like, I just have to own it because I can't get strong again until I've acknowledged the state of weakness that I'm in.

Oh, man.

Okay, so this is a great transition for, like, I feel there's this beautiful dance that we have to do of sharing, you know, where we're at in our difficult times and giving ourselves, like, space to either heal, right, get better if we have health issues or grieve or talk about different things that have happened in our past. But also, you know, a lot of us have some really big missions that we know have to come out. Like, they. We can't even rest easy without knowing that we have to fulfill these missions of this. And I don't yet know how to completely articulate without going back and forth, which might be what I always do of, like, sharing the importance of just, like, extremely hard work and, like, sitting in the fire and the hard stuff and, you know, the painful stuff and the transformative stuff and the failures that, like, so many people I think, you know, there was a big conversation I feel, at in 2018 and 2019 of, like, just rest, ease, flow. Like, do less. And I'm like, okay, yes, I'm doing less, but you also have to do more sometimes. Like, there's this rocket shoot moment where if you're going to break through the atmosphere, you, like, have to go full throttle. So I was really, to be honest, I was, like, really torn when that conversation first started because I felt like I didn't know how to truly leap women by telling them just to do less if their big vision was big. Like I knew what it was going to take for them to get there. So could you share a little bit about maybe your experience with growing companies and the importance of, yes, those full throttle moments, but also how do we learn how to balance that?

My alarm's gone off. Sorry about that. You live literally. This is a subject I am so obsessed with talking about because I 100% agree with you. Quest would not be Quest if I didn't put in that time Impact theory would not be impact theory if I didn't put in that time and effort. And that's actually, I struggle with that because my health is where it is today because I pushed myself too far. But I'm successful with my businesses because I pushed myself as much as I did. And so it comes down to what do you actually want and what is most important. And so even kind of going back to last year where I knew if I just stopped the business, literally, I'm very fortunate with the success of Quest. I don't need to work. So if I didn't work and all I did every day was take care of myself, I would have been better years ago, let alone six months ago. Years ago I would have been better. So I recognize that in what I am doing, I am not healing myself as quickly as I could. And that is a conscious effort. And I've told myself I don't. It's just a choice that I'm making and other people may think I am nuts and that is okay. But I have to live the life for myself. And the life that I want to live is a life of fulfillment and what fulfills me, my business, right? So it kind of comes full circle. So I go, okay, I've got this business that fulfills me, but I've got a health that I have to deal with and I have to get better. Just keep going where what I'm doing is going to kill me early. Like, I'm very aware of that. So I'm not going to die early. I plan to live to well over 100. So I need to work on, you know, my health as well. So I consciously said, what does doing both look like? And it, you know, so I would put in boundaries, I would put in timelines, I'd be like, okay, from 6 o' clock onwards, I would leave whatever work I'm doing, I would go into a space by myself, eat my dinner in peace and then keep working. So what I used to do is just keep working, keep working, keep working, be with the team, be with meetings. Up until the time I'm going to bed, I would wake up, meetings, meetings, meetings. So now I just say, I just like peace and quiet. I want to be by myself, I need to think. I want to be in an environment that I can control, that doesn't get hysterical. So I've taken certain actions in my life to allow me to heal my health slowly but to also build my business. And again, that's just been a conscious decision. So I think with anyone that's listening, you just have to assess what is important to you. Like, is building a business right now the most important thing? And don't feel badly. I think a lot of people have put so much pressure on the self care part of it, you know, in making sure that we meditate and things like that. That if someone doesn't, it's always like all frowned upon now. And I'm just like, God, when do we just stop judging ourselves and each other and just say make a decision that's right for you? So if your decision is I'm going to go all in for two years and I'm going to make sure that after that two years I'm going to start to take care of myself or I'm going to go all in and once a week I'm going to take one hour for self care. Then don't feel badly. Just make the decision knowing what you're doing. If you don't care about business and all you want to do is take care of yourself and have a family and be there and be healthy, you should do that. But don't also trick yourself. Right. Either way, it's like just do it with open eyes, be honest about the realities of what you're doing and then do it consciously. Because I actually don't think you can get a freaking smash hit successful business and put in little hours because there's going to be somebody else that's going to be willing to put in more hours than you.

Mm.

You know, in looking back now, there were things I could have done to support myself with my health a little bit more, which I. Which I did a pretty decent job of it. But it's like you learn afterward quote, right? It's like, it's hard to. You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. I feel like it's the same for lessons. It's like when you're in it, it's very challenging to see you know you're not necessarily like, yes, I can see.

What I can do.

It's like when it's after you're through that phase, you're like, okay, I could do that again, but this time I'm going to do it this way with a little more conscious effort around X, Y and Z. But also having grace for wherever you were. Like, you couldn't have learned it without not learning it totally. And I had so many people, you know, I took. It was like seven or eight years where we did not, I cannot remember one weekend off. We worked every single weekend with building our network marketing business. And also I was building a fitness and self development brands simultaneously. And I had so many people tell me, you need to rest, you're not playing, you're gonna wake up and have so many regrets. And just a lot of women had a lot of resentment towards me because I think a lot of people wanted to be my friend during that time. But I was not interested in, in friends. I was interested and I'm just being super honest. I was interested in this mission that was inside of my soul. Getting out. Yeah, I did. I, I couldn't even be now was this right?

I don't know.

I'm just sharing. Like I couldn't be present with people even when I tried to be friends with people because I wasn't. I was like, I have so much, I have to get out right now. And that it's out. I'm like, thank God I did that because I am able to be so present and know what type of friends I want and know where I'm going. And you know, I think because the front end of my life was so chaotic and crazy, you know, growing up and just like not doing anything that I had so many years to catch up on. And that's just what it looked like. And instead of giving yourself a hard time, it's almost like, wow, that's what I had to do to get here.

Yeah. And also I chose to do it. You know, it's like no one forced me to. No one. And I love what you said about the friendship thing because I was in that same thing when we were building Quest. I very consciously said like, my business comes first. And I told everybody, like I wasn't trying to be rude, but I just want. I like setting people up for success. It's like a phrase I like to use. It's like let them know exactly what to expect. And so one of my closest friends I've been friends with since I was nine years old, she Turned around to me, and she's like, would you be God to my son? And it was such an honor that she asked me, but I had to be honest with her. I was like, what type of godmother are you looking for? Because right now, I'm building my business. And while it is such an honor and I would love to say yes to you, the realities are I'm gonna forget his birthday. Like, I'm just being honest. Like, I could potentially forget his birthday. But let me tell you, if he ever called me up and said, hey, I need you, I would be there in a heartbeat. So that's the type of godmother I'm gonna be. Like, anytime you need me, you call me and tell me I will drop it, but other than that, I'm gonna forget. And so if it's okay, like, if that's the type of godmother that you're accepting, I would be honored. But if you're looking for somebody to be in their lives every single week and call them every Saturday, like, I'm just not gonna be that. And so I think you need to then find somebody that you want to be that. And I don't take offense to it, but that's the truth. And immediately she turns around. She's like, lisa, I've known you for, like, 25 years. Are you joking? I know exact who you are. She's like, of course I still want you to be the godmother. So I was like, amazing. And she's never given me, you know, any type of crap since. And, you know, yes, I have forgotten the kid's birthday, and, you know, but anytime. Like, I went over to England, you know, and I made sure that I spent time with him. I made sure that I played video games with him and was present, but I'm not in his life every single day. And. But I was honest because that was actually a part of me that worried, right? Is that the pressure and expectations other people have on me. I then succumb to that pressure and expectations, and then I start to, like, unravel, because I. The weight of my own expectations and other people's on me just is too much to bear. So I was just very honest with the type of person, and now I've switched. Like, I've done the hard work. I put in those times and those hours, and I'm older now, and now it's just, like, family is the most important thing to me, period. And my mom came to visit, and I never take time off, and I just took the day off and, you know, hung out with me. And it was that, you know, every step and thing that I do, I try to not trick myself and be very, very honest about what that action or what that decision is going to bring me. And, you know, I made that decision when I started my business and I think it, it helped me get through it instead of just succumbing to the pressures. Like I said, the same with being a wife. You know, I was a stay at home wife for eight years and then I turned, you know, said to Tom, I turned a. I was like, I want to be in business. I love Quest. I want to help build it. So those expectations had to change. I was no longer cooking for him and doing all those sorts of things. But again, you just had to communicate. You had to. I had to be honest with him. And, you know, because when someone's changing, I think it can be sometimes detrimental. I don't know if you ever get this, but it's like, oh, my God, you've changed. You're not the person that I thought you were. And you're like, I don't. Right. Like, that's a compliment, that's not an insult.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

You just.

I mean, honestly, thank you for sharing that, even that exact example. Because I think so many of us, when it comes to a close friend or family, it's like, we're like, oh, well, it's almost like a guilt thing. Like, I shouldn't be this person and I'm not. And when I try to fit into that box of like, you know, I've had a lot of friends who, I mean, pretty much same thing right down to almost the exact example. I'm just like, I can't get inside of that box. It's a box for someone else, but I literally can't fit myself inside of it. It's not going to work. I'm going to disappoint you. Counterintuitive to maybe what we think we're supposed to do. Say yes. And then they suffer. Like, it literally eats at them and starts destroying their life because they're trying to. To step into shoes that are not meant for them. Oh, man. It's like, thank you for that. It was so freeing.

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Oh my God.

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I want to know about your. You've got a super exciting project you're working on right now in. My God, you are such a brilliant artist, like, legitimately. I just was staring at a picture that you drew.

Oh, thank you.

Were you always able to draw?

Yeah. As a kid, I wanted to be Walt Disney. So I used to sit there and do those little drawings in a flip book and make my little character move. And then one day my mom crushed my heart and soul and told me that Disney no longer draws. He does it on computer. I started to realize I actually just love the pencil, like, pencil and paper. And my mom tried to encourage me to study it at university and what actually ends up happening in my finals in college. So in England, you go to high school, then you kind of do two years in college, and then you go to university, which is your college. It's a little confusing, but after I finished high school, I did two years and my mum wanted me to study, and so I studied art because I actually really enjoyed it. And over those two years, the teacher sucked out my soul for drawing. He said, if you want to pass, you have to sculpt, you have to paint, you have to use different mediums. You can't just use pencil and paper. And I was so stubborn that I kept just drawing with pencil and eventually started to fail me. And my mum turned around to me, and this was such a powerful lesson to me. She turns around to me, she said, okay, you can draw with pencil and do what your heart wants and fail. Know that you're going to fail, or you can do what your teacher says and get into the college that you want to get into. Either way, it's your decision. Don't be fooled by thinking it's not. And I was like, wow, that's so true. Like, my teacher is telling me he's failing me because I'm doing pencil. All I enjoy is pencil. But what is. What is the goal that I'm trying to get to? Right? And in fact, this whole thing I keep repeating is, what is your goal and does it serve you or not? Actually, that's actually really interesting. That's where it come from, actually. Just all fell into place for me. Wow. But, yeah, but that's exactly what my mum told me. And so I was like, wow, okay, what do I want? I was like, I don't want to fail. I really want to get into the college that I wanted to get into. And I had to get certain amount of grades. So I said to my teacher, fine. I'm just Going to do whatever he tells me to do. And I did. And I ended up top of the class. I got into the college that I wanted to. I got all the grades that I wanted. And at the end, my teacher was like, oh, my God, you know, you're amazing. We want to keep your work. And I said, take it all. I hate it. And I literally handed over all of my art pieces to the school to keep. And I said, I'm never going to do art for anybody else ever again except for myself. And that was the last time I ever really did anything other than just draw for myself. Wow.

What an amazing. I mean, that's such a freaking awesome lesson. Because we can get so caught up in the way that we get there or the vehicle, but we forget, like, wait, where do we actually want to go? And is this what we actually want? Like, that's so beautiful. Okay, so what has it brought you to?

So, yeah. So now, for 10 years, I actually didn't pick up a pencil at all because we were work. We were building Quest. And I put that part aside. Like, I literally, when I say I went all in on Quest, I went all in, like you were saying, didn't have a weekend off. Every waking moment is all, like, about your business. And so I didn't draw for over 10 years. And when my health completely declined, I was like, I have to start doing things for me again. And I started to dig deep and look back at what. All the things that I used to love to do that I don't do anymore, and drawing was one of them. And it has become part of my Sunday routine now. I use it almost like, as a way of meditating. Like, it calms me down. It makes me focus on just one thing. And so I found it so beautiful as a rehabilitation method for me, for my health. And. But it's also brought me back to my creative. Like, I've so been in the mindset of building businesses and, you know, how to empower people, myself and others, that I've lost the creativity and what that actually means to me. And so we started, Tom and I. You know, part of impact theory is there's two divisions. There's the fiction. Sorry, the nonfiction side, which is the shows that we do, Impact theory, health theory, and women of Impact. And then there's the fiction side of it, which is comic books, televisions, and movies. Because when we really looked at how do you empower not, just, like, the people in your ecosystem, but actually the world, like, when there's 7 billion people in the World. Like, how do you actually reach everybody? You look at what behaviors people do, and what are the behaviors that everybody does instinctually is they watch TV and they watch movies. They don't sit down and watch an hour of a YouTube show talking about female empowerment. And I'm very aware of that. You're only going to get small niche of people. In fact, the best example I can use is take healthy eating. You can tell a small amount of people to go to the gym six to seven days a week, work out and eat chicken and broccoli, and they're going to do it. But you can't tell the world to go and do it. They're just not going to. Because their instinct or the natural inclination is to eat, is to have yummy food and to sit on your ass. It's not to go to the gym and work your ass. So when you look at the instincts of people, that's why Quest worked so much or so well, because we looked at what is the instinct. People like to eat. People like to eat sweet things. All right, well, what if we produce a product that caters to what people naturally do and it happens to be good for them? What's the mindset version of that? It's television and movies. People are going to do it whether you tell them to or not. Now imagine it's got an underlying theme of the empowerment. They're gonna watch TV and movies in a way, so why not empower them and make them believe in themselves once they're done watching it? So that's really where we. Why we went from Quest Nutrition to Impact Theory. It was we impacted the body, and now we're looking to impact the mind. And the mind is being creative. Is the storytelling. Like even today in this interview, right? How many stories have I told? And it's in the stories that I think people connect with. So storytelling to me is extremely powerful. So now I come full circle and say, okay, I love drawing. I love creative. Tom and I, both, our backgrounds are filmmaking. We both went to film school. So now we're coming back to our roots. We're using our success of Quest, our financial success, and we're taking it and we're putting it into these. Creating these intellectual properties that can empower people. So what I'm really focusing on is the female empowerment. Empowerment side. I went and saw Wonder Woman. I absolutely loved it, but it was set in World War II. And, you know, so I was starting to think about what are the things that people really gravitate towards. It is superheroes it's that belief that you're not just like everybody else, right? That you have something special about you. But the truth is, I think everybody does. I think everyone has something special inside them. They just have to believe it. And so how do they believe it? So I was kind of like basically taking all these notions, unwinding things, and then piecemealing it together to say, okay, what I know about humans, what I know about myself, what I know that I love to do, and combine them. What does that look like? So for us, the conclusion is step one. I'm going to be creating a graphic novel. So it's something that young girls can pick up and read. It's something that parents can read to their kids. It's something that adults can pick up because it's going to be very beautifully visually drawn. I'm not going to draw it, though. And the reason I'm not going to draw it is my art is for me, and it comes back full circle. I would rather pay someone to do it than to suck the joy that I have of drawing. So I'm actually paying somebody to do that. But, yes, really now it's putting together this graphic female empowerment novel. It's called the Wish Academy. Wish as in W I S H. Women of impact. Superheroes. So I'm building this world of superheroes, but I'm also taking real women and real women's stories and making them a part of the fiction world. Because coming full circle again, back to, you know, when I interviewed you, when I interview all these other women, the thing that impacts me most is the reality of people's stories. And so if I can take that and somehow put it into a piece of content that people can read, people can pick up, I can. Could be just extremely impactful. So the step one is the female graphic novel. The step two is turning that into a TV series or a movie. And then step three is winning the Academy Award. So that is absolutely my next goal. I have visualized it more than you can possibly imagine. I have visualized Tom doing that pretty romantic dip that he always does with me on stage when we win the Academy Award. And I like to call my shot. I think saying it out loud really does solidify the idea. And it kind of just puts, like, it over your head, right? Like, wow, you said it. Now you can't go back on your word. And I personally like that pressure. So I am saying it out loud many, many, many times over and over again. So that one, one, I believe that it is actually going to happen because I believe the power of belief can make or break your goals. And then actually just visualizing it so I know exactly what that looks like. So that every time I'm stuck or I fall on my face or I fail, I just literally click my fingers, have that vision of me on stage getting that Academy Award with my husband, and it picks me back up immediately.

Wow.

So much of that is just. I mean, yes, I. I am a 1 million percent firm believer in that. And it will happen. In some form or some way, it will happen. And I just place myself either in the audience or at home with a party for you guys.

Aw, thank you.

I just locked in one more little tent anchor there.

Appreciate that.

Your dress as well, or whatever you're wearing on stage.

I can't let Lori harder down now. Gotta win an Academy Award now.

It's gonna happen. So, Lisa, thank you so much. I truly. There are a few women in my mind who I always think of because I am really in a place of setting some massive things for my life, which this is just how I want to live my life the rest of my life, thinking bigger. And you are one of my North Star females for thinking bigger. Like, it's just not a question, it's just like, yes, do it. And this is what we're doing and this is, you know, you're picturing yourself there and it's happening and I think that's so important. So just full permission is what you are giving so many people. And I'm so inspired just by your certainty. And I think that's what we all. We can all use a piece of that. And it's really going to change the way that we approach our vision and also it's going to create the vision that is reality. So I just want to acknowledge you for all that you've done and for. For how you show up for all of us. And thanks for this conversation.

Thank you, girl. I so appreciate coming on. I think you're freaking awesome. I have the honor of knowing you off camera as well as on, and you are one of the most authentic women I have ever come in contact with. So thank you for always being you. I know we're just gushing now over each other, but I want your audience to know, I'm sure they do at this point because they probably heard so much of you, but you are truly one of the most authentic freaking women I have ever had the pleasure to know. And so I just want to thank you and thank you for having me on and for taking the time to talk to me and your audience for listening. I so appreciate it. I can't even begin to tell you.

Thank you so much for that. I truly received every piece of that. That was amazing. And you guys, if you loved this podcast as much as I did, make sure you go and follow Lisa. Let her know what you thought of the podcast and definitely tune into Women of Impact. It is such an incredible series. So many of my friends and so many women that I look up to have shared their stories in such a deep, profound way and share that share her Women of Impact series because it truly is going to change the world. So go follow Lisa. Share this episode.

So, so grateful for you.

And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever, forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.

Sam.