514. Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about RESISTANCE answered

When we resist, it's like trying to stand against waves in the ocean. Instead, you could just like grab a surfboard and ride it.

Yeah, go along for the ride.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week, week, I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me here?

Here we go.

Evans.

Hi, Maury.

Questionably awesome. What are some. This is. First of all, let's just tell people if this is your first time tuning in, this is a podcast about all things ridiculous that are also truths in your life and in the world.

Very big truths. Barry.

If you want to know, like instead of watching cnn, watch questionably awesome because. And I don't know how you're watching it, but you're probably right now in a couple of clown suits.

So it's worth it. It's worth the tune in every time.

World news right here coming at you live and in a hilarious way. So with that said, what type of news are we going to tell the people today? Evans.

We're going to keep it lighthearted and happy news because that's what we need right now.

That is what we need and that's what we've heard that you are all enjoying. So I'm guessing that we are accompanying you. I've got two guesses. In your house or on a socially distanced walk.

I bet you're right. Those are our only options.

Yeah. You know, it used to be like on your drive to work, or maybe in a jet plane going.

Maybe on a treadmill in the gym.

Gym. Ooh, remember those?

Remember gyms?

Those were nice. Those were motivating.

Those were. Now, I used to not like gyms. I think I like gyms now.

Yeah. If I ever hear somebody be like.

I don't want to be at SoulCycle today.

I'll be like, shut your face. Yeah, get in there. Remember 2020. Get on that pike and sweat with people. Make sure they breathe on you and shake people's hands.

Hug them. Love every minute.

Close as you can. Make a human chain. I don't know.

That's terrible. How are you feeling with the quarantine? Do you miss people? What are your feelings? No, don't miss them.

I see them on Zoom. I'm just kidding. No, don't really self proclaim introvert over here. I have been and I'm just being like, this is just true for me right now. I know that I will miss them very soon, but for right now, I have been Evans. I've been like crazy building businesses for eight to 10 years and it's like I've been having to be super social every single weekend during the week. I take a lot of meetings and I know that I'm about to right after this. Takes so many freaking meetings for my company, which I cannot wait for. And I'm seeing people every day on Zoom. I'm seeing, like, sometimes I'm seeing my favorite people, sometimes I'm seeing business people, sometimes I'm doing meetings for light pink, for investors. Like, I'm actually really enjoying the time of having my home to recharge in while also being out in the world and doing a lot. I'm just creating so much purpose for myself right now that I am, like, in a really great place. And Chris and I have been talking about this a lot of making sure we stay in a routine. And, you know, I've made meetings with a lot of my favorite people, so I get to see you every week. I feel fulfilled right now, which is kind of crazy. How about you? I know that you are hunkering down with the family and you're creating really great scenarios each day. Tell me about the scenarios.

The scenarios. I love that you're creating a routine every day. We are working on that. Adam and I are. We are staying with our. By the way, what's that?

How many days have you been there?

We've almost been here a week.

Yeah, that's not very long, especially when you're in another person's routine. So give yourself some grace and everybody listening. I just want to quantify that. I've been working at home for, you know, over 10 years. I don't even know how long, so I was able to do this a lot quicker. But you've been there a week. You're in someone else's routine. Do tell. Dish the dirt.

I'm going to dish all the dirt. We've been doing morning walks, which is really helpful. And also, just like you said, giving yourself grace because we're having trouble just figuring out how to work our jobs and what do things look like. Am I allowed to eat the snacks, which I totally am, but.

Who'S is this? His shelf. So tell us where you're at in case someone did not tune into the last one.

So we actually left California and safely road tripped to Adam's parents home and we're staying with them and we've all been quarantined here, so we're not being social or anything like that. But we lived in a really small apartment so it's nice being here. They have a yard and we can walk in their neighborhood, so I'm super thankful. And they're just amazing people. And I think what I'm realizing we were talking about this morning is that the last year was really about us in a lot of ways because we had a wedding and there was a lot of attention on us. And I think it's nice to have this time to put attention on other people and get to know his family and bond with them and just slow down. I know not everyone has the luxury right now to do that, but it's really special to be with your in laws and your family and just, I don't know, I don't think we'll ever get this time again. So trying to make the most of it.

Yeah, that's something that I want to point out to anybody who is, you know, freaking out. And I get it if you are an extrovert or you have not been home or this is just a really scary time in general, especially being home, it's easy to spiral into like your thoughts can truly take over. But I think it's when we shift our focus into wow, if somebody gave me this space in the past or like said, hey, what if I gave you two full months to be at home and figure out what you want to do or give yourself a little bit of extra time every single day, would you take it? I guarantee people would be like, yes, please. But because it's forced, it feels a little bit different. So it's just. That's what I'm thinking too right now is like I will never get this much time at home without needing or having to go out or feel like I need to make sure that I'm seeing a ton of different people. Like I'll never get this time, so I'm gonna use it.

So.

What is happening for me though is I do struggle a bit around like 3, 3:30 because I get really tired because I work out in the morning, then I work and then I anything. For me, sitting over like two, three hours, I start to get a little bit crabby or irritable. So I'm learning that when I feel that I'm going to go do one or two house tasks and then go sit down, so I turn on some music, I go clean the kitchen or fold some laundry, I go move my body, and then I come back to what I was doing for maybe another hour. So sometimes when our brain is like, oh, you're going to go sit for another two, three hours after this? It's like, no, no way. Start happy hour now. Like, no.

So I'm struggling with that too.

Like, okay, well, I'm going to go move my body and then maybe for 30 minutes, I'm going to go sit back down and write or answer those emails or finish up what I was doing. Like, I'm really trying to look at moving from the tasks that I truly want the number one tasks into, like, number two things that are productive still within the house. Maybe it's a lot of organizing or something like that.

Exactly. So some of my friends have small kids and they're also working full time, and it's just like, what do we do and how do we entertain these little people and also keep our jobs? And there's a lot. So I feel like the theme is grace right now.

What are they doing for that? For the kids?

Honestly, my best friends were telling me they're just managing it. They're just taking it moment by moment and haven't really figured it out yet, but are just doing the best they can with what they have. Good for them.

Maybe we need to invite them on the show once in a while. Yes, we can. I mean, we can zoom some other people in, so be all right. Except we probably just hear, like, exactly. There's just a bunch of kids with the zoomies, like, running around in a circle, like, screaming.

Can't blame them. That's how I feel, too. I'm like.

Yeah, this would be crazy if I was a little kid, because I would not have learned to manage my emotions this well.

Me neither.

Okay, so shall we do a review?

Yeah. It's really nice, right? I can't wait. This is from Marie. Bd.

Marie. Bd.

Marie. Bd. Marie says since the first day I listened to this podcast, I've loved that you make me laugh while also making me think deeply about how to live my best life. My best and happiest life. This podcast always brightens my Wednesday, and now it's even more important to me, given this wild time we're in. Thanks for bringing a sense of normalcy and a lot of Humor to this difficult stretch. Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay awesome.

Wow, Marie, that is freaking so amazingly nice. Make sure that you email customer servicelorihardter.com so that we can send you something equally as amazing as you. I don't think that's even going to be possible because it's probably only going to be a copy mug or T shirt. Like, infinitely more amazing than either of those things. So, yeah, I'm gonna draw a card for you, Evans, instead of a.

Cool.

So which one you want? Just point.

How about yes, right there.

Hold down my finger. She chose this one. It's got two owls on it and it says, when I lean on the faith of the universe, peace becomes real. So when you lean on your faith, peace becomes real.

That's so good that actually, I read this morning Devotion every morning. And that was kind of the theme of the devotion, too, that you just have to have faith in knowing that everything's going to work out as it should and that there's something bigger than all of us that's looking out for us. So I really love that.

I love that. There was a quote that Chris and I had read this morning. It's a famous quote.

It is.

I can't remember who it's by, but I love it. Everything turns out good in the end. If it's not good yet, it's not the end. So there you go. Okay, so here we go. My faith has the power to turn trauma into healing, conflict into growth and fear into love. Faith, Faith. Faith is the theme today. Faith has been my theme through this whole thing. So I'm just leaning into an idea that this could potentially be a reset in the world. And if I'm being totally honest with what is being said in my head, it's. This is a reset for the world, and I'm having faith that that's what it is, and I'm not resisting it. It's like when we resist, it's like trying to stand against waves in the ocean. Instead, you could just, like, grab a surfboard and ride it.

Yeah.

Go along for the ride, for that ride.

It's all we can do. It's literally, if you are still resisting this and upset about it, you are going to have the worst next month or two of your life. So you need to start looking at it as, why could it be for you? How could this be actually in your favor and any other mindset than that? I'm telling you, I'm reading so many different books on being a leader because of my new company. Right now. And it is like leaders are born from uncertain times, otherwise you wouldn't need a leader. And also, it's like just these are the times that you get to learn about yourself and learn about your strength and create your strength. And the number one trait that they have found in leaders is resilience and adaptability. So being able to adapt quickly to ever changing times. And how are you going to adapt? Like, how are you going to shift your life around so that you make this time good time and you make your days good days, because so many people would dream of being home with their families. And now we get that opportunity. So let's not. Like, it's not permanent. Nothing is permanent.

So just a season.

You have a qq.

Yes. Okay. This is about resistance.

Resistance.

This is from Karen described saris. And Karen asks, do you ever come up against resistance to deepening your connection with self? Whoa, whoa, Karen. That was deep.

You tell Evans, because I feel like you probably are doing this right now.

Have you ever come up against resistance to deepening your connection with self? I'm trying to figure out if I know what this question is asking with.

Figuring out what you want in your life and your purpose and your self.

Love. Yeah. Yes. I. I resist this every single day of my life. And so many. There's so many signs in my life all around me and I. That pointing me towards projects and creative things, and I completely just bypass them all the time. Like, no, I need to do this.

For work instead. Or what do I.

What.

What do you end up doing when you bypass them? Stuff for work instead or some work things and then just happy hour or what?

Yes, a combination of both. I also have this guilty mindset of feeling like I need to have. Like, I need to put 8 trillion hours into my daytime job. And am I guilty for if I finish all my work in four hours? Like, am I allowed to take the other four hours and work on my own personal project or something? It's ridiculous.

Wow. So, like a serious. I found myself doing this yesterday. It was like this addiction to guilt, like, around not getting done what I wanted to get done. And I was like, what would I feel like. What would it feel like to not feel guilty about this right now and just let it be? And I had a lot of trouble figuring out what that would feel like. But it's kind of like detaching from that. Like letting go over and over and over, just getting done as much as you can and letting that be enough, because we're never gonna get done everything that we want ever. Like, ever. We're like, I don't even know a single crazy successful person who's written books on accomplishment and being indistractable, who gets everything done that they want in a day. It's just we overload our plates. If you are somebody who wants to create and is a go getter, so it's like really almost getting even more realistic with yourself and letting it be okay what you do accompl, if you even accomplish one or two things, like, I don't know, starting to get for you. If you get things done in four hours, you almost need to create a mantra around that, don't you think? Like, hey, I did my work today, now I can be done worrying. Like now I'm going to let this go and for the rest of the day I'm going to be clear until tomorrow, you know?

Yes, 100%. It's so easy. But I don't know why it's so much, it feels so much more fun to resist things.

Because it's a brain addiction. It's literally you're addicted to it. Like you're addicted to, you know, chocolate eclairs. I don't know if that's what your poison is. What's your, what, what are you, what do you actually think as a human you're addicted to like food and food wise.

Oh, food wise, Sugar.

And there's probably no sugar in that house right now, right?

Oh, there's zero. It's literally everywhere.

Yeah. Tell me, does she have like just drawers? Does she fill it with candy or does she just say, you know what? Screw it. People just want the sugar. So does she just have drawers of sugar like pouring out? You open them and they pour out.

There's a lot of homemade baked goods and there's also this delicious cinnamon bread from the frozen section in Whole Foods. I had no idea this existed. It's heaven.

Of course there is. Do you know why? Because mother in laws find that shit. Yes, they do. In their house. And then they force it on you.

Exactly. They're like, would you like this delightful red right now? And I'm like, of course I would.

Yeah. Because do you want to know what the underlying tone is? If you don't eat this, I'm going to feel really bad about myself and you don't like me.

Sugar. Wait, what's your food?

My food is more like a drink, but for real. Like I have. So I. This is a funny, funny time and quite amazing. So I have to finish all of my testing for my flavors for my alcohol company. So we literally are supposed to be testing one to two cans a night because I'm comparing it and this is my seventh round of tests, which now I have like one or two that I think are final. But every. I'm supposed to be getting it done and I'm like, oh, I don't really want to drink tonight. Then, you know, six o' clock hits. I can make it till six. So this is really good. That is good between six and seven hits. And I'm like, well, I have to test anyway, so I might as well. Might as well just take these two cans and test them. Thankfully, they're, like, really light. Thank God it's only 100 calories a can and one gram of sugar. So I feel really good. I don't feel like I'm drinking, so that's amazing. Yeah, that's honestly what is getting me right now is just the addiction of like, oh, okay, I did all my.

Things for the day.

I worked really hard, I worked out. Now it's time to relax. Where in the evening, it was much more like, you know, Chris is working later right now because of all of his stuff. So we're not. We're not getting all of our walks in that we were stopping yesterday. So now we're going to start the evening walk, which I think will be a nice big distraction for me in the evening.

That's really good. And I'm really excited to try your new drink when you are back.

We're having a light pink evening.

I can't wait. And I also love your branding. I started following you guys on Instagram and it's beautiful.

Well, thank you. And that is such a temporary page right now, but everybody go follow it. The page is not temporary, but you'll see our true branding all rolling out really soon. Kind of temporary tiles up there just for space holders.

Well, I like it.

Well, thank you so much. So it's drink light pink. Do you have another cue?

Of course.

Oh, man.

This is like what we just. Okay. Brit Marie Ladner, she asks, when you face resistance, how do you decide to either pivot or push through? Can someone tell me the answer to this?

Can you tell her.

Don'T do anything that I do? Brit Marie.

By the way, Evans, you're doing great with your life. I just have to point that out.

I think it's really important for people.

To like, if I was in your situation right now, I actually think that you have so much just grace on yourself and for people, because I can tell you I would Be. No matter how great the people are. Because of how I'm wired, I would be losing my shit right now. I can hardly spend a week in the same place with people outside of Chris and my own dog. So I will say you are doing freaking amazing while working, while making that happen and making the best of it. That is incredible. So I would do what you are doing, and that is probably bringing in an incredible amount of patience, grace walking, self love talking. Because you'd never. You would be a giant mess right now if you didn't have those things.

Thank you so much, Lori. And I just want everyone to know that I've had plenty of tears. So it's not like it's all.

Totally. You're just so good at actually reframing once the tears are done.

Right. You just gotta let them out. I'd say let the tears flow. Yeah.

And maybe that is the answer is actually, like, look at resistance. Look at what it is. Don't get so mad at it because it's so freaking normal and just go and do, like, one thing instead of the 10 things. I think that's what resistance. Why resistance starts to feel so hard is because we're like, I have so much resistance. Why can't I just do these 20 things a day? I'd feel so much better about my life. Well, that isn't happening ever. At all. That's like, with your, you know, your creativity dates, like, maybe just one little small date a week, that's 30 minutes to an hour. And that's where you start. Instead of, like, creativity every day, then that just becomes a nightmare.

Yeah. And then you get mad about it, and then when it comes and you just hate it. And I don't think that's right.

No, I don't either. It's. It's like, even when I started doing guitar lessons, like, because I was doing them so often, I was getting so annoyed. And now I'm like, yay. I'm picking it up kind of when I went through this because I noticed that I turned it into a chore instead of fun. So it just depends on what you want. Like, what do you want? If it's not fun and it feels like a chore, then maybe you shouldn't do that.

Right. Good point.

Who knows? All right, Evan, so tell me a little bit about some wisdom that has come out of the Midwest.

Oh, man.

You're not really seeing it. You kind of are.

What I love about the Midwest and the people here is everyone is so Passive. No, I was gonna say family. No, they're really family or just kidding.

I'm from the Midwest, so I could say all these things that are not actually totally.

Oh, I'm dying. I think everyone from the Midwest is very. It's really nice how people are like they very. They ask about how you're doing. People want to check in on their neighbors and just let you know what's going on. And they're keeping a buzz of the situation. And I think it's important to make sure you're checking on all your peeps. And that's what I'm learning. Right.

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I love that. And they. They truly are, like, the most, like, what can I do? How can I help you? And here's everything going on. So, like, I mean, my Midwest people and family, they are keeping me abreast of everything.

That's like, my mom, too, in the south, she's like, oh, well, then this neighbor's doing this, and this is this. And I'm like, how do you know everything that's happening?

I think that they have. Do you remember those tin cans with strings that, like, that were telephones. I think they have those all strung up, and they get on the tin can every day and they're like, Martha? Martha, are you there? Martha? Martha, how's your casserole from last night? What'd you put in? Did you put everything in the cabinet in? I did noodles, I did tuna fish. I did cream of mushroom soup, cream of chicken soup, because I had it around, and why not, you know, throw that in there? Then I had some saltine crackers leftover, so I just sprinkled a little of those on top. And I put some parmesan crisps as well, because I had some of those from a party we had three months ago. They were going bad, so I chucked them in.

I can't.

You.

That's, like, my mom's life.

I made that casserole. It's exactly what I did.

It's so funny how every mom. Like, when I go home to my mom, I'm like, mom, why do you have these from, like, 10 years ago? She's like, well, we might use them. Like, no, it's expired.

If it doesn't smell, it's not bad. It's fine. Look, would you eat it if you were starved, starving to death, and you'd be just fine? Do you know how many times Chris is like, this expired last month? I'm like, are you kidding me? Parmesan cheese lasts, like, three years after if it's in the shaker cup can you guys, do not. Do not take this from whole Foods. You will be eating just a blue rock. It's fine.

You'll be having blue cheese.

But if it is parmesan cheese in a shaker by Kraft, you're good for at least seven years. Truly, you're good. Well, I think that's really great advice from the Midwest.

No Midwesterners.

I just want to put a little asterisk on there. Midwesterners need not take this personal.

We joke.

I'm from the Midwest. I might make that casserole tonight.

Same. It sounds delicious.

Everything casserole.

So everyone just hang in there.

Everybody hang in there. And a great idea is if you have some lunch meat that's about to expire soon, put the everything casserole inside the lunch meat and roll it out and put it out like fancy appetizers with a little bit of brandy.

Perfect. Perfect.

Any company that you don't have at your house.

Yeah.

All right, you guys, until next time, be questionably awesome, and we'll be here to help you with that. Bye, Evans. Bye, Lori.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing, and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye.

Bye.