522. Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about FEAR answered

Yeah, you're going to experience maybe panic. You might cry, you might like, freak out, you might run off stage or whatever the thing is that you're doing. And it's still better than sitting and thinking that you're so unique and special for your fear. Like, just take action. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go, Evans. Welcome back to questionably awesome.

Oh, I'm so happy to be back.

I know. What were we singing in the beginning? Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Rum.

Because we figure this is a great time to just drink every day. So. Do you know what I really. Do you know what I want right now on here with you? One of those jugs that pirates used to drink out of.

Yes. Like an old school job. I.

You know how people carry like gallons of water around? So I used to be in the weightlifting world. The weightlifting world? What is that?

That's a cool world.

Yeah, it was so cool. The fitness competitor world. And it was like your mark if you carried a water jug. I never did. I couldn't get into it. I was like, you look like a meathead, but whatever. But love to all those that did, because I understand it's part of our, you know, our past identity. I get it. I wore leggings 247 with, like, fancy boots and, you know, a sweater. I still do that. It's still part of my identity. Like, no, I'm a workout person. But anyway, back to the jugs. I. I really want you to have a jug on here and me to have a jug and I want it to be large and I also want it to have moonshine in it and I want to blow in the jug to make music during this.

I love this idea and I think that we should do that on the next one.

Oh, my God. We should start a jug band and call us the Juggies. Wait, that was a show, wasn't it?

The Juggernauts.

How did we not see this Evans, you're so brilliant. You guys, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that I want to have the nickname Juggernaut. So why can't we start a jug band called the Juggernauts?

You know, now's the time.

Now is the time. I am not going to limit myself on my quarantine dreams.

No, if you have a dream, right now is the time to go catch it with both hands.

It really is. With gloves on. So sanitize the shit out of that dream once you get it, but then it's yours.

Yeah, once you put it in high heat and melt it and antibacterial, then it's yours.

Yeah, it might change shape. But don't all dreams let go of that expectation? Hey, I went to the grocery store today. It was a super exciting.

You did, did you wear your mask?

Oh, yeah, it's. It's now, it's now the law in LA to wear your mask in public at all times.

That's right. So where, like, what's your mask look like?

Oh, it's cool. It's just blue. Just like a blue mask. But we did order some masks from Gold Sheep because she is donating all proceeds to nurses. So you guys, Carrie, at Gold Sheep you can go toGold Sheep clothing.com and she makes the cutest screen printed masks and all proceeds are going to nurses.

That's really cool. I'm glad you guys did that. I will order one from her too.

Yeah, she's amazing. You know who else is doing some awesome stuff right now is Kat golden at Nine Lives. I think it's Nine Lives Health. You can just look it up. But she's doing some awesome stuff for nurses and sending out boxes and. Yeah, she's amazing as well. People. It's like bringing out such incredible things with people right now.

It really is. It just warms. Warms the cockles of your heart.

I have never heard that before. Can you tell me what cockles are? Because I just pictured. I just pictured you warming some balls.

So at camp I went to a summer camp.

So this one time at band camp.

We sang a song and a part of the song was like the cockles of your heart. I don't know what kind of camp this was.

Hold on, keep talking. I'm looking this up.

Honestly, I don't know why we. What the song was even about, but I just remember singing cockles.

How do you spell that? Unfortunately, cockles of my heart. C O, C, K, L, E, S of my heart. Let's See, here's the definition. The core of one's being usually used in the phrase warm. The cockles of the heart. Do you know what? I'm gonna. I'm gonna go downstairs tonight and be like, chris, I'm gonna warm your cockles. And see how he reacts. And if he says anything to me and looks at me sideways, I'm just gonna be like, it's the cockles of your heart. It's the deepest core of. Of your being. Don't be sick. I hate when you're sick.

I'm dying right now. I am dying.

The cockles.

You.

Here's the thing. Like, you can sing that at camp and it's kind of weird because everyone's singing it together, but if you went down and said that to like your in laws or your father in law, and you're like, oh, that's just the cockles of your heart, you would never be the same. You could never show your face ever again in that house.

Do you think I should say it tonight?

I. If you say it, will you please set up a camera just so we can catch it and talk about it?

Yes. And honestly, there have been a lot of. A lot of boundaries that have been crossed. This, this time, living with your in laws.

Oh, tell me a couple of them.

This is, this is tmi. But I'm just gonna share it because.

Don'T worry, nobody's listening. No one's listening.

So sometimes when it's your. Your time of the month and you have to put stuff in the trash can and then, you know, sometimes it's trash day and your in laws collect it.

Oh, God.

Going and to die. Then you have to die immediately after that happens.

You're still here, though. So how did that day go for you? It's so funny because it's like something that everybody knows happens, but then when your father in law collects your happenings, it's not as cool.

It was honestly a bad day for me, but I got over it.

That's like when my assistant's dog, Shayna's dog, went and pulled a tampon out of the trash can and brought it to the team meeting. Yeah. And the dog was upstairs, so it was my trash can. So I couldn't even be like, who's. What's that? It was just like, there it is. So.

So here we are, everyone.

Oh, my God. The worst. Okay, one last thing. We were at a mastermind. One of our masterminds was the last round of fast foundations and somebody brought their dog, like their puppy every Day because they couldn't get it puppy sat at the time. So we're like, that's fine. Just sit in the back or whatever and bring your dog. Well, the dog was chewing on this, like, bone, you know, those bully sticks, but when you chew on them a bunch, they get chewed down to a nub and it turns all white. And a bunch of girls came up and they're like, I don't want to tell you this, but I think someone dropped a tampon out. Like, they dropped their tampon, like a used one. I was like, how do you drop a used tampon? And I looked and I went. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, it just looked like a tampon right in the middle of the floor. That's what it looked like for all to see. And I went over to it. Thankfully, I recognized that it was a chewed up bully stick, like, once you got closer. But I literally was going to be the person who went and got this thing because I was about to, like, do retrieval before I even had to, like, let anybody know it was happening, because a bunch of people were kind of standing around it. So I was just going to go in swoop, like, with some paper towel, and grab it like it never happened. And I was like, it's a bully stick. But then when people started looking at it, they all thought it was that. So we got rid of it anyway.

I cannot breathe. Lori, you are such a good team player to be like, you know what? I'm going to go collect it.

It was our mastermind. I was like, I can't. We can't have this. Like, yeah, we can't have this on the ground. Like, I don't know how you lost it, right?

It's. And, you know, I mean, it's. It's awful that we had to be so ashamed, but it's just embarrassing.

Well, that part is embarrassing, yes, because you're not exactly like. I get that it's a. It's a great thing. I love that we cycle. I. I actually just did a podcast on it yesterday with this woman. It was freaking awesome. You're gonna have to listen because it's all about your mood and how you can take advantage of your cycle and, like, how you have so many freaking amazing things that happen in your body throughout your own cycle. It is, like, magical. So anyway, there's that version of pride, but I'm not gonna be, like, proud of the sanitary napkins. I'm not going to be like, look.

Behold.

Behold.

The masterpiece. All right, so let's pull A card for you. What do you say?

Yeah. Is anyone left listening? I don't know. Maybe.

Maybe not. All right, so with that said, we're free to say whatever we want, because now it's just open air. It's. It's pure cricket. So instead of a quote, we're going to pull a card. We're just doing the universe has your back card by Gabby Bernstein. So this is kind of fun, because we'll see how it relates. So I'm pulling a card, and yours is. Energy flows where my intention goes.

Tell me, ain't that the truth?

Tell me how does this. How does that feel for you?

That feels like we were just talking before this. How yesterday was a really weird day for both of us. We're both in. And whenever I get in that negative mood and I just keep. It's like I want to dig up everything negative that I've ever experienced in my entire life.

Yeah.

Why?

It's like you're making a negative layer cake, and you're like, cake's not big enough yet.

It's so true. And it just keeps building and building, and then the second you stop concentrating on it, it's like, oh, you know what? Actually, there is some good that you could see right now.

It's the weirdest, though. I. I was telling Chris, I'm like, it's gotta be some sort of. Which, number one, we. We realized we can blame the full moon, so we can blame that a hundred percent. But also, I think it is so chemical some days. I think, number one, what we were talking about with so much of our cycles. But also, I really do think if you're, like, very empathic, which I think you and I both are, like, we can just kind of walk into a room and be like, oh, this feels really good. Or, ooh, I'm sensing massive tension. Or this feels awkward. I think that we can collectively kind of feel a lot of emotions. I think that just plays into a little piece of it as well. And also just. Yeah, I woke up and I just felt like my whole body just. I felt chemically off. It was just not a good day.

Me, too.

But now it's so great, because what I've learned in all of my years of being on this planet is that a good night's sleep and eating good food and drinking water will, like, change the game for you. Don't get me wrong, I still had cocktails.

Yeah. Because they're delicious.

Because why break that streak if I'm gonna be a part of the juggernauts? I can't not drink.

You gotta have a cocktail every night.

I can't wait to have moonshine. Do you think we could make it?

Yes. I know someone, a family friend in North Carolina who makes some.

Oh my God, I don't think so. But can you get the recipe?

Yes.

Okay, great. So we're about to do some illegal activity over here. Moonshine University. All right. That's an actual university.

Is it really for real?

It's by my. The company that I use for my formulation for my alcohol company. And you can learn all about different things. That's very cool.

That's super cool.

I know. Really cool. Okay, I'm going to pull a card for myself.

Okay.

I think I feel this card. Attack, Pain, fear, judgment and any form of separation are merely calls for help. Well, apparently I was putting out the howlers for help yesterday.

Yes, you were.

Cuz all I wanted to do was attack. All I wanted to do was cause my husband pain. All I wanted to do was stay in fear and eat cookies.

Judge other people.

Ooh.

I wanted to just. I was on social and I got right off because I was just like stupid. Hate her.

I know exactly what you're talking about.

Oh my God. I was like, I don't care.

Puke.

I hate what I do.

Everything's terrible.

Oh God. It was ugly. Ugly. And I was like, okay. It's literally like how you need to take all sharp objects away from, you know, maybe someone who's not sound at the time. It's literally like if you're not sound, that sharp object is Instagram and your iPhone. Remove the sharp object or you're just gonna frickin start bleeding. It's terrible.

So true. I think that's a good analogy. It's like things that we use every day can turn into a bad little tool.

Sometimes they are. And we use it over and over and over for like sabotage and self mutilation. It really is.

It's crazy.

It's just a different. It's a mental form. So yeah.

All right, gotta get out of there.

Do you got a review of the week?

I do.

I can't wait to hear it.

Okay. This is from CMH3497. I like it.

It's like a license plate.

Yeah, it's like a license plate which is very cool. And. And they say Work from home. Gold. I had subscribed to this podcast forever ago, but I decided to dive into it during the quarantine. And Working from Home. I've enjoyed listening to it so much. While working and feel so uplifted and inspired from the content. Highly recommend. I love Lori and her guest personalities.

Oh, well. I just feel like a damn leprechaun sitting on a pot.

As you should.

Pure gold.

Wow. I just do. Did you watch DuckTales?

Oh, yeah. When they swim in the coins.

How did you know I was about to say that? Chris and I talk about that all the time. I'm like, if you jumped in a pool that large, full of coins, you would die. It's like hitting cement. Except they must have been like those gold chocolate coins.

They were 100% diving into gold chocolate. Although I still think that would be very messy. Yeah.

I still think you'd hurt yourself.

Yeah.

But he sure made it look good. It was like. And I even remember the sound and how he'd paddle through it. I was just like, yes, it's gonna be me one day.

Oh, my God.

So here's to hoping. All right.

Yeah. Here's to open.

You got a qq.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, and thanks for that awesome review. Cmh numbers. I am so grateful. I wish I knew your name, but because I don't, I felt the energy. And we're sending it back and we're so grateful. Yeah.

That was really nice.

So nice.

Do you want a question about.

I love a question.

There's some questions about fear.

Oh, all right, let's do it.

Okay. This is from the 40 y o e. The 40 year old.

40 year old. Let's do it.

They ask, how do you overcome the fear generated by imposter syndrome? Hmm.

Evans, help me with this one. How do you overcome the fear generated by imposter syndrome?

Well, I think it's good to keep. I do that a lot, too. Like thinking that you're not good enough to do something or that you can't do something as well as someone else. And, like, who. Who are you to try to do something like this? But I guess you. My what's worked for me and I still try to do this is like putting. Replacing that negative thought with something else. So what A more productive one.

What do you do that as? Like. Like, what is your more productive thought?

Like, why not me?

So you just say that over and over in your head?

Yeah. I don't know if it's worked just yet, but. So maybe.

It'S getting there. That's same as me. Like, here's the thing is, you can't. Imposter syndrome is so funny because you're gonna have it whenever you start something new because people are like, you know, okay. So when I first started writing my book, I was like, oh, my God, I am not an author. Like, even when people would ask me, they're like, oh, are you writing a book? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, are you an author? I'm like, no. What? You're writing a book. Like, even though your book's not out, doesn't mean you're like, if you can write a paragraph, welcome to authorhood. Like, you're an author. You're writing. So it's really funny. Like, what we think is, you know, whatever. Like, you need this certain title or you need to do X amount before you become that thing. And it's interesting because you can't become the thing until you start putting the practice in. So how do you overcome imposter syndrome? By just doing, like, doing it every. As much as you possibly can. So I think action. You know, I love that quote. Action cures anxiety. Because I think action also cures imposter syndrome. And you just have to let it go. You have to know that everybody has it. You are, I think sometimes. And I'm going to be, like, very blunt here. We like to. If we're not making ourselves. Here's the thing. Humans need to feel significant. So if we're. Let's. Let's change the word significant now for special. So if we're not feeling special because we're doing something big in the world, we're gonna make ourselves special because of our fear. We're gonna think that it's so unique and that we're suffering alone and that no one else understands or feels this pain. Yeah, you're not original. We all feel that way. We're all feeling that way. And the people who are doing big things in the world have, like, they still feel that way, but they've decided that the pain of staying and believing that this is happening to them and staying in that pain is way worse than actually just taking action. Imposter syndrome. Because you can still take action. It's not like stopping you. Yeah, it's like making you extremely uncomfortable for a small period of time. But it's just like a tough conversation. You know how you're like, oh, my God, I'll never be able to have this conversation ever. And then the second you actually say the first lead in sentence to it there, it like, kind of starts to lift a little bit and you're like. You start the conversation, it's horrible. Your voice is shaking. You start to cry. But then you get to this midpoint of the tough conversation and you're like, oh, my God, it's lightning. It's. It's lightening up. It's starting to clear a little bit. And even if it's bad, even if, like, people start fighting on the other side, I do feel like there's still this sense of, like, relief. And it's so much better on the other side. So it's the same way, like, yeah, you're gonna experience maybe panic. You might cry, you might, like, freak out, you might run off stage or whatever the thing is that you're doing. And it's still better than sitting and thinking that you're so unique and special for your fear. Like, just take action. Yeah.

Shit, that was awesome.

That was for me.

I really liked hearing that.

Well, I needed a little bit of. I needed a little bit of that type of love. Amen.

Amen.

Do you want another one? Yeah, let's go.

Okay. This is from Don Fit Alicious. Whoa.

Licious. How do you get a last name like that, huh? Hey, hey, tell me.

So dawn wants to know how to truly understand what the message is from fear so you can move out of it. Whoa. We kind of just touched on this.

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Well, I think fear marks the spot. So the messages go there and the way out is through. So very, very, very simple, annoying answer. But literally go there, go look at it, go unpack it and don't unpack it for too long because then you'll never actually move forward. And this is a thing, right? Like we want to, we want to analyze our fear and we want to diagnosis and we want to know if we have something and we want to. Yeah, like just decide do you want to have a diagnosis that you have anxiety or that you have panic attacks or that you. Yes, your past was bad enough that if you decided not to do anything for the rest of your life, people would understand. But it's still not changing how you feel about facing your fear or moving forward. So I think that it's still not making you feel better. Right. So I think fear marks the spot. And doing the thing that scares you is going to make you feel so much better. Just facing it. Boom. Face that fear over and over and over again. And I don't care how much you face it, you're going to find another fear right underneath that one. So what is that quote? Oh, my God. It was, like, astounding, like awful and amazing. But if you can accept this. Okay, so sometimes at the top of a mountain, at the top of your mountain is another mountain. And I just think that's how life is. And if you don't appreciate the view from the climb that you just did, then you'll just be climbing mountains your whole life. That's all it ever is. So it's kind of realizing even if you summit a mountain, you're still going to go to the next one. Like, it will be never ending. And if it was, that's when. If it was just easy. Like, once you overcame a fear, do you know what would happen?

We'd all be boring, lazy. Bubbles.

Oh, my God, we'd be so. We'd be such depressed, lazy buttholes. Nobody wants a lazy butthole. Because then you're constipated.

Yeah. And we already. We talk about that constantly.

Yeah, we want very active cornholes.

You got to keep things moving.

Move it along. Move through your fears.

Go through your bowel movements.

Keep them going. Well, I think that's about it for the day.

Well, I think we can end on your bowels.

I think that's where a lot of things end. So I do think it's a great ending. Just cut it right off.

Wait, what? What's your final wisdom? You always ask me for final wisdom.

Because I don't know what to say at the end.

But you have wisdom.

My final wisdom of the day. My final wisdom of the day. Let me feel this one for a second because. Okay, I'm not thinking, oh, let. Like, this is a really beautiful time to just let everything happen. Like, let all emotion. Don't resist any emotions that are coming. But also don't, like, keep choosing an emotion if it's not serving you. This is a great time that if you feel even pressure to, like, oh, I should be writing a book during this time, or doing all of these things. Like, just go. Instead of feeling bad about not doing that thing, if you know you're not gonna do it, go do something that just makes you feel good. Like, even if it's like, I've been finding myself doing the most random things, like cleaning the house or, like, pushing back my cuticles or plucking my eyebrows or dyeing my hair really slowly or like giving my dog a bath at random times during the day. But it's like things that I'm enjoying. Like, I'm enjoying just the weird, like amazing, like reflective, meditative qualities of just living and doing things that life requires, you know, of just taking care of things. And I don't know, like those, some of those things are really enjoyable at the right time. So I say really, like just take the expectation off. But if it's, if you're not feeling good right now, just start with. Because here was yesterday, right? I just want to use yesterday as an example. I was the lowest of lows, like crying literally all day long. And the first thing that I did was I was like, what is the best thing? What's the next, like, easiest, most enjoyable thing I could do right now, this morning that would make me just kind of like move my energy around. And I was like, all right, well I could go, you know, just randomly pick up the house, like a little bit. And so I turned some music on and just started kind of picking up the house. And then I was like, could I get my butt outside? Could I just put on a podcast and get my butt outside? I did. I picked the very wrong podcast because it was like talking about people, how depressed people are during coronavirus and they were doing statistics. Bad idea. So then I was crying more because I was feeling compassion, but I was like, okay, keep moving your body. Like do all the low hanging fruit and sure enough, the cockles of your heart will feel better.

That's it right there. You gotta warm those cockles.

Yep. Do anything to go, like massage the cockles of your heart.

See, that's it.

That's all there is to it. I'm so glad I've learned the word cockles. I feel like we really educated people today.

Yeah, I feel really good about things and I think we learned a lot.

We really did. So I'm gonna stop learning for now and we're gonna send all you guys love. And if you loved this podcast, make sure you let us know. What, what was the highlight of this podcast for you? I think that's the best part to know because I really wanna know what your biggest takeaway was. And until next time. I know, Evans, you're getting all of the greatest, like cosmos and cocktails and cookies and amazing things from your mother in law.

Living it up.

We're mailing it up in Indiana. I know. I love all the texts I get, like my mill just Gave me this. My mill just made me this sandwich. My mill just made me a cosmo. I was like, I'm coming over. Stop.

She's amazing. She is seriously amazing.

What a superhero. Make her a cape.

I need to. She wants to make macaroons. And I'm like, okay, let's do it.

How fun. Oh, my God. If you learn to make macaroons, you're bringing that back, and we're gonna make macaroons.

Sign me up. I'm. I'm here for it.

Okay, so here's the deal. I will just educate you on macaroons because it's super fun. You actually call that. Wait, are you doing the real macaroons.

Or, like, the real ones? Yeah. I'm not cool enough to say it.

Like, well, you go down, you let her know. You let her Midwest self know that there's also another way you might feel really smart or you'll make her feel bad. Either one. I don't know. I was like, wait, maybe that could make someone feel really bad. I. I pretty much learned it on shark tank, so it's not like I was. Took a French class or something, so.

Oh, I love it so much.

All right, well, until next time, everyone, we are signing off. And stay healthy, stay well, and just hang in there. Hang. Hang on in there. Bye. Bye. Thank you guys so much much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye. Bye.