528. Scale your mindset, relationships + awareness - with Adrian Koehler

I mean, uncertainty typically helps us reprioritize ourselves. So in that context, like, we get clear about what matters and what doesn't matter to us and we can make new choices.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome back. Chris and I have started a grant program right now for the time being. So what we're doing is for the next 10 weeks, Chris and I have decided to give two $1,000 grants to small business owners. And we're going to be giving all of the details for, for that coming up really, really soon. But we will be giving away grants on Wednesday evenings at 6 o', clock, PST on our Instagram Live, so you can come to my page and all of the announcements and winners will be announced there. But we are going to create an application program so that you can apply. So you guys tune in on every Wednesday to find out how you can apply and to see if you have won one of the grants. So for the next 10 weeks, we will be giving two $1,000 grants to small business owners to help you guys out and we couldn't be more excited. I will be letting you know how you can be a part of this, but just want to give you guys a heads up to start watching those Instagram lives Wednesday at 6 o'. Clock. And my guest today, you guys, he is like a freaking genius. Not only that, I think that you are going to love listening to him, the way that he teaches and the way that he just shows you how to get to your next level in your mindset and in your business. That's the key in your mindset and in your business. Right? Because when you get to the next level in your mindset, you tend to get to the next level in everything that you're doing, business and relationships. And I actually first heard him on Ali Webb's podcast, Raising the Bar and I literally said, oh my God. Like I, I was on the beach listening to this podcast Which I share.

A little bit of.

I was taking a walk and I was like, oh, my, who is this? Like, I have to have this person on my podcast. So my incredible guest today is Adrian Kaler. He's a leadership engagement expert. He coaches executives and entrepreneurs in the art and science of personal engagement for themselves, their teams and clients in order to create new, unprecedented results and experience fulfillment in their work. In the process of developing his craft, he's worked in multiple contexts. He's done higher education startups, multinational corporations, small to medium sized businesses, and healthcare. And over the last decade, his passion for human performance has taken him around the globe to partner and serve organizations that are committed to being their best and making a difference in the world. And something that I love is his ability to not only communicate, but to be able to solve conflicts for people in different relationships in business and in life. So I seriously, right in the middle of this, I'm like, I'm going to have to have a part two with him because I didn't even get to half of the things that I wanted to ask him. So, you guys, let's just jump right into the podcast. Here we go. Adrian, I'm so excited for you to be on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

Hey, happy to be here. Thanks for having me.

Okay, so let me just. I'm just going to tell you how you came into my world. I am. I've been listening to Raising the Bar, which is Ali Webb and her brother's podcast, which I heard a rumor that you might partially be a co host.

We just recorded our first two podcasts yesterday with me as the co host. It's happening.

I am so ridiculously excited. You have no idea. And you guys will tune in to that podcast and find out why as soon as you start listening. But I'm on the beach. When the beach was still opened, I think it was like two or three weeks ago. And I'm listening to this podcast between the three of you, and I'm literally like completely obsessed because, number one, I'm obsessed with leadership. Number two, I love.

I have the disease. I have the disease as well. So we're.

Oh, my God.

Also obsessed with leadership.

I could talk about it all day long because you have to put yourself into the shoes of other people and truly, like, look at their entire lives and experiences and stories and languaging and everything to be able to understand what's going on. And it was so much fun to listen. Listen to the conversation as where Allie and Michael. Correct.

Yep.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, Michael.

Where they were, like, as far as, like, the business and understanding people and opening all of these different chains and dry bars and all of these employees, and, of course, having to not only get the mission out in the world, but have this, you know, these ideas and these goals that you want for the company and trying to translate that forward. And I was like, oh, my God, I so understand this right now on so many levels. And for you to be like this, I felt like this calm voice of reason, like, let's look at what's really going on here. So I couldn't wait to bring you on because there are so many people who listen to this podcast who I think sometimes as entrepreneurs or leaders out in the world, like, we can get very focused on just our mission and getting out there. And why don't people understand and building our team is that, you know, this is one of the stories that I know is out there amongst a lot of people that we work with is finding your team is the hardest, hardest part, and having them understand and why can't they just work as hard as you? And I thought it was so beautiful how much perspective that you bring in around all of these different ideas. So, first of all, I just wanted to tell you thank you, because I literally was, like, exploding to my husband when I came home. I was like, this guy, oh, my God, he should create, like, a leadership app. He should do a conflict resolution app that people can use. Like, so I had ideas for you that I wasn't even, you know, telling you, but. Yes, but grateful for you. So tell me, how did you get into this? Because I also know that you have a really diverse background. So what do you do now and how did it start?

Sure. So, first off, thanks for having me on deep respect, as after you reached out to me, did the same thing, deep dive, like, wow, okay, this girl's got a lot that she is committed to create, which I could just tell. And it comes down just your energy approach to the world. So thank you. I love people like you, and I want to be around people like you. And for me, as a person that's always been blessed and cursed with the idea that life is as meaningful as we make it, you know, I want to be around people that are, you know, making meaning. And there's lots of. Lots of ways to do that. And I know I'm not answering your question yet, but it is the subtext of the answer to the question is, how do you make life worth it? And how do you deal with people you love really and take on that banner. Most people don't. Most people just take life, I mean experience life as if it was given to them, as if it was handed to them and realize they can fold the cards that were handed and get a new. Get a new set of cards if they want. But that's risky. So what I do on a daily basis is run a company. I've got a couple of phenomenal partners that we run it together. It's called Take New Ground and it's under a banner organization called Human Performance Unlimited. That'll tell you a lot about what we're about. So we're about people making the most, making the biggest ruckus out there in the world or making the biggest difference. And we think that's an unlimited conversation. If people decide to live that way and that is a decision. Some people are live that way and don't know they're. They've decided because it's been that way forever. Most of us have to make a decision to go live, to go explore what their own capacity is. So. And we think that's unlimited. At least it's worth the road is more rich if we decide that it's unlimited. That's what I would say. So anyway, on a daily basis I'm coaching select executives, founders, entrepreneurs. That's what I spend most of my time doing. When I'm quote unquote working in the business as a practitioner. I'm like, today I talked to two different founders. One runs a well known ice cream company, one runs a well known technology company. And both very different people, same human challenges. And they're both founders and really brilliant and trying to figure out how to navigate themselves as they have. Their brilliance has worked. And so now what do they do? What do they do now really? And how do they harness their talent in a way that's actually a gift to the organization that they birthed because for most leaders, if they're good, they end up not being significant in their company anymore because you know, they've, they've brought in amazing people and they're not as needed. And then there's lots of ways there's a rabbit hole we can get down what people typically do. But you know, there's just transitions, there's like needed evolution. And for most folks, when you're talented and smart and ambitious at some point people, and for a lot of people early in life, people quit giving them the hard feedback because they're the boss. And there's lots of, you know, there's lots of satisfaction in that because they're not being challenged. There's lots of, you know, satisfaction in the ego in that because you know, they're being applauded all the time. And there's some also, there's also a lot that's missing for them because they, they're not, they don't have a look in the mirror anymore. And you know, all of my clients, at least when I'm talking to them in some initial conversation, I'll say something to them that, something like, hey, I know what your dirty little secret is. And the what? The what? They get very nervous. They get very nervous. No.

Did you google me?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I found it. I found it. What you wished I wouldn't found, I found it. No, but all high performers know this is that when they, they can operate at a 6 out of 10 productivity level and nobody notices because their 6 out of 10 is better than most people's 10 out of 10. And they, they're haunted by it, right? Like they're, they know, they know they're not all in, but nobody else notices, but they're haunted by it at night. And you know, and that's the meaning conversation. Like if I'm not throwing myself at something, we've got all these justifiable reasons why we're not, but it still bothers us.

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So anyway, so for most of my clients that I work with on a personal basis, you know, that's the gap. The 6 out of 10 which is usually daring, might be complete reinvention, might be leaving the company they built. It might be, you know, re reorienting, you know, replacing some people it just there's always risk involved because they have to leave the safety of success in order to potentially look like a fool again. Potentially look like a failure again. Which makes sense when you have very little to lose. To look like a fool is not a bad thing or to have incremental growth is not a bad thing. But once you're successful. To leave the safety of success is a big deal. To look like a fool and to not make it or to not be as smart again as you were the first time. So I help folks navigate those waters and really what my role is to help frame reality in a way that's approachable and worth it.

So that I'm feeling that on such a deep level right now that it's making me make this decision of, do I want to use this podcast to help serve others or myself?

Have at it serves you. If it serves you, it'll probably serve you.

That's my theory. That's why I started this podcast. I was like, an hour of coaching a couple times a week.

Great. Yeah. Yeah.

But okay, so that.

What are you avoiding?

Well, I'm at the. I'm at the 6, staring down the 10 right now, and it's literally like leaving a life of just fulfillment and success and security. Just. I'm. I'm already there. I've already hit the. The place that I dreamt of since I was a little kid. And I know that where I'm supposed to go next is, like, way bigger than, you know, it's like, sweaty palms and armpits and all of the things of, like, something that I know normal nothing about. And I think that that's what it's making me realize, though. And what it's making me do again is it's making me deeply connect with all of the people who I serve, like, at an even deeper level than I did before. So it's been really thrilling, exciting, horrendous. And I don't think people know of all of those levels sometimes. I know that a lot of people listening do know, but it never changes, right? Like, the pivot is never like, oh, this pivot feels really nice today. It's always that moment of, I'm a. Again, I'm gonna look stupid. Like, what are people gonna think? And also, you know, the questions of I think that are out there too is, like, when will she or he ever be fulfilled? What's enough is, you know, what's wrong with me? Why do I need more, like, all of those things? So what do you do when someone says that to you? Like, what, is there something wrong with me that I feel like I need more even though I've reached these different things or done these things that I've wanted?

Yeah, that's a great question. I mean, most ambitious people are haunted by that question. I think about it for myself as. Because I don't meet a high performer that's not angsty, and that's part of it. It's like, when am I done? Oh, never. And how good could it get? We don't know how good it could get. Let's just keep striving. So most high performers are haunted that way. And someplace along the way. I don't know when it started, there was a worship of. And I tend to use some hyperbolic language, so forgive me if it seems a bit dramatic. For example, there's a worship of the contentment. For me, like. Like that. That's, like, the goal for a lot of people. Like, I'm just looking for some contentment. And I don't know. I mean, my. Or, you know. But in recent couple years, it's gone more towards happiness. I just want to be happy. And I think for most folks, the search for happiness will guarantee that it won't happen or how they're searching for it because they're looking for some kind of steady state. And life doesn't exist in a steady state. No, it's always in. It's always just right here. And, you know, am I. I mean, I've got three guiding principles for my day. I write them on my thumb. It's. It's. They fit. On your thumb? Yeah, written on my thumb. G. H. G is what it stands for. Just. Yeah, just. Just three letters. Okay.

I was picturing small paragraphs.

That would be wonderful. It's like, wow, this guy's rebellious. He's got tats all over his hands, and he does all these keynotes. What a crazy man. No, but just. I just write on my thumb with a pen. I've thought about getting a tattoo, but I haven't. Haven't. Haven't done that yet. But just three simple letters for me, which is like our guiding principles. One is, so G is grateful, H is honest. And the last G is generous. So for me, those are how I stay connected to what's here. Like, am I grateful for what I got, which is different than content? I'm just. I'm happy. I'll take it. Whatever I've got, I'll take it. I'll start here, and I'll be. I'll decide to adopt what I have as if it's a gift. Even if it's tragedy, even if it's, you know, the COVID crazy, even if it's that great. What's the advantage here? How is this a gift for me, which is very different than typical, you know, human thinking? And I don't do it like that every second of the day either. But it's like a commitment of mine is to stay grateful and not like a cliche way. I really want to decide that I have what I need to get started as a way of saying it right and then honest, like dealing with what's there. And that's for me as a perpetual striver, perpetual, you know, I've been and a lot of service oriented work in my life and so I can really, you know, spend my time trying to help other people which I think is really, you know, ends up creating a pretty good life. But you can also lose yourself in the process. And I've definitely, definitely seasons of time when I've been so concerned about others that I haven't actually stood for me. So part of the honesty thing is, is being honest with what's happening, being honest with what's going on for me. Most top leaders don't deal with their needs well. I would say that like it ends up being pretty passive aggressive or avoidant or just aggressive, you know, and they just everything, every everything. Like they're entitled to like say whatever they want whenever they want. But when they get to that point, it's because they haven't had a conversation when they needed to earlier and so now they're in reaction mode. That's the honest piece. And generous. You know, it does work. Like I do live by the reaping and sowing principle is that, you know, you get what you give. And if I want to get something great out of life, I better give to get it. And so investing in others is the way for me to keep what I've got. You know, so there's an old, there's a phrase I like like you keep what you give away. So if it's. And that's why, you know, in my specific work I'm always learning stuff just because I'm, you know, I need, I need to learn more. I need to be on a growth edge. And if I'm not all, if I'm not doing the, if I'm not my first client, then I'm in trouble because I'm going to run out and then be protecting what I've got instead of always being willing to be splayed open, be willing to be wrong, be willing to take a risk and fail, be willing to miss a client. I tell all my clients that if I'm not putting our relationship at stake in every conversation, I'm not serving you.

Oh man, that's good and scary.

Well, scary, yeah, scary for everybody because it means I'm going to say things that aren't comfortable for me to say for sure. Because I don't want to lose them or offend them, but I'm more committed to them. I'm more committed to their success than them liking me.

Yeah.

Which is a weird relationship. And I warn them all, like, hey, this is going to be a weird relationship. You want somebody, you know, you want somebody just to encourage you, call your mama. She probably thinks you're awesome. Yep. And, you know, if I'm going to believe in you, so I tell them, if I'm going to believe in you, it's going to require me not to believe you most of the time. Right. So I'm going to actually hold up your word to reality and see if it's true. So anyway, you asked the question that I've now forgotten as I've. As I've just been thinking with you out loud.

Well, we went down a great path. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was. How did you get into leadership there it is.

Great. So the short version is I've always just had a desire for it. And it was partially. It was like it was modeled for me. Both my parents are leaders and their community there. I grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere in Illinois.

Oh, really? Where?

Yes, Southern Illinois. A little town called Salem, which is about an hour and a half east of St. Louis. 8,000 people.

Go Midwest.

Go Midwest.

Midwest roots.

Awesome. We're at.

Grew up until 16 in Upper Michigan Market, Michigan, Then Wisconsin, then Minnesota.

Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Both of my clients I talked to. One's in Columbus, Ohio, and then one is. Was born and raised in Pennsylvania. Anyway, I tend to connect to those people really well and easily. So both my parents were leaders. I got that. I understood it when it was. Both my parents were public school teachers, and then they led in every environment they were in. So I grew up in very, like, a religious context. And they were. My mom was the music gal, and my dad was an elder of the church. I saw that. My dad built baseball diamonds and we ran the baseball league in my hometown. And now my dad's on the city council. They Both taught for 30 years in that town. So they know everybody and they're, you know, they're fixtures of the community. So I got to see my dad. I joke. My dad's like the George Bailey of my hometown. People get that reference. Like, he's just this beloved figure that's been around. I mean, he grew up. He went to high school where he taught. So he grew up in that town, went to high school, went off and got a degree, came back and taught there for 30 years and coached, I don't know, 15 sports along the way. So my parents really modeled involvement, community involvement, which I loved, which I got and I appreciated. And they were very involved in our lives. And so it just be kind of. It became a thing I always wanted to do, which was. Well. And I guess the. Also the honest answer is when I got to be teenager, I realized, you know, and maybe it's as universal teenage angst is like, you know, am I going to get picked for stuff? Right. How do I get picked? And then I realized, hey, if I'm the leader, I do the picking. That's better. You know, I'll just be the captain of the team. Okay, let's do that. And so whether from, you know, really positive and I think we're all mixed bag. I know I am like, you know, the light and the dark and they mix pretty heavily. So are the good, you know, the maybe proactive or healthy reasons are there, and then also the, you know, compensatory reasons are there. Like, I'm also doing it to avoid something.

Yeah.

You know, to avoid loneliness. I, you know, build something so I have people around me, so I'm familiar with those conversations inside of me. So I've just always done that and been and been and been okay with being a little bit odd or being like a. A paradox. You know, in college I was playing football and I was a nursing major. So figure that out. So, you know, and. And I didn't know.

I never knew a very valuable football player, actually.

Very, very, very. Yeah, if somebody gets hurt, I can handle. Yeah, we're okay. I never knew how to answer the question, like, what do you want to be when you grew up? I didn't have a keen sense of a career path, that's for sure. I knew it mattered to me on some level. Like, I liked being around people I liked. I was. I typically was the guy that was kind of at the party and knew everybody but was, you know, sitting in a corner somewhere having a deep conversation with somebody. Like, that mattered. That mattered to me. And I liked being known. I liked knowing everybody and like being a ringleader in some regards. But I also liked going deeper than most people. I mean, and I say that more as like a confession. Like, it was hard. Like, I was like, in my family, I was like, pretty intense. They always, why are you a. That's what they grew up, they called me aid. Right. You know, you don't have to be so serious all the time. That's what I got most of them. And I never knew how to turn that off. I just, I was always interested in like, how relationships work, like how does that work, how do you communicate, you know, and how do you connect and how do you get along and how do you fix something and how do you, you know, all that stuff was just of interest to me and it seemed like if I could figure that out, then a lot of other things would work out.

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It. So I didn't know what to do in life so I was like a pre med because I. The science worked for me and I liked all that. But then I realized I didn't want to be a doctor. So I just happened to have a nursing major. I never thought about it before, nursing major, roommate in college. And I thought, I'll just do this. I get to travel the world. I did have an adventurous spirit, wanted to go see places and, and you know, travel while I could while I was young and go to. I kind of was drawn towards dangerous type environments or like, you know, I, I've always had a little bit of a chip in my shoulder or a lot of a chip in my shoulder and wanted to go places other people weren't willing to go. And anyway did that for a bit and loved it. And I worked in the critical care world and mostly pediatric critical care. So picture really sick children and therein lied a lot. Lied a lot of. It's a complex environment and I, in an odd way, really enjoyed that because, you know, you're there to help the kids stay alive. And then for me, I also got that if I could help the parents deal with it, that I would be a memorable person in their lives. Like, that I could serve them in a way that they would think back, you know, this was horrible. But that guy really helped us. And that mattered to me when I was 20 something or whatever. And I had a mentor that helped me see like the art and the science of medicine in that context. So. But that wasn't, you know, I didn't have an aspiration to go be a nurse. I just was a nursing major because I wanted to go travel the world. My spiritual life grew for me. I am compelled by, by a narrative that there's some, there's a higher force out there. And for me, God is like a global advocate, once the best for the world. So that was compelling to me. So I left that work and got it. I worked at a church for multiple years out here in Los Angeles, a church called Mosaic that I really respect. And they were very flat organization, very entrepreneurial and which most religious organizations are not entrepreneurial at all. Very top down. This, this guy that led Mosaic named Irwin McManus, who's brilliant if you have any spiritual interest and want to, you know, listen to somebody that's got something to say. He did, he does. So I just, you know, my 20s, I thought since I still don't know what I want to do, I ought to go be with people. I want to be like. And I was really compelled by this guy. And he then, you know, took me and many others like me under his wing and really mentored us. And so I get to travel a lot and speak about leadership a lot. And we were, we were on the front end of like the positive psychology movement. Like Gallup used Gallup used Mosaic to test the strengths finder. So in the beginning of Gallup, when they were starting to put the strengths find together, one of the main guys at Gallup went to Mosaic. And so anyway, we became, we called ourselves the research and development arm of Christianity. So we, we were loved and hated by many. And as a 20 some year old, I got to travel the world speaking about leadership and talking about entrepreneurial leadership and talking about how to run a team. And so I didn't really know what I was talking about in practice, but I know enough in theory to help people. I mean, I'd been Involved in teams and such. But you know, I was teaching to people that were 20 years older than me, but the ideas worked. So I did that for a good while. And through that I was helped a guy, mentored a guy who came. His father was a billionaire and so he was a millionaire and he wanted to do something philanthropically. And I was at that point at Mosaic. I was running about a 2,000 person organization called Serve LA. And our mission was to connect, you know, well meaning people to opportunities in the city and then some globally to go make a difference. Whether it was serving downtown at Skid Row or connecting with other nonprofits and mentoring a kid or, you know, helping a homeless family or, you know, building a house for Habitat or whatever, it was just mobilizing people to go create good in the world was what I like doing. And I was the liaison of that. And like building bridges and building teams were kind of like my two focuses. And so this guy asked me to go build this foundation. Long story very short or shorter, I promise was to. When we did the work, we did it in prison. So he ended up really caring about giving people a shot who have really blown it. And so we. I met this guy named Dan Takini, who now is my business partner back then I just hired him to come in and do these four day, three day leadership trainings in prison with lifers. And I saw in him something that he could do that I couldn't do. He could really shift a room dramatically very quickly with the level of listening and a level of maybe intuitive, intuitiveness around human behavior that I hadn't seen before. And so I immediately wanted to learn like crazy from him. And I did. I went to the coaching academy that he put on. I went to all his, all his workshops that he put on like a three day and a four day and a marriage thing and then went to the coaches academy and I just was ready. And then when the foundation got up and going, I just jumped out. I'd been trained on how to be a coach. I'd been in that environment a bunch, like being a confidant for people and an advice giver to people. And so now I was suited out with some new distinct paradigms that would really help get to the root causes instead of just giving some strategies and just decided one day I was like, oh, I'm going to coach. And that was about 10 years ago. Yeah. So that's how I got into it. So it was really a deep care for the world and a deep care for people and just wanting to Be with people at the crossroads in their lives. That's always been the. I don't know, the honor. And very, very fun and thrilling and frightening for me, which keeps me on my edge. Wow.

Thank you for sharing all of that. And I love hearing people's backstory, because now that we are here in the present moment, I can take this, like, needle and thread, all of these different things that obviously you would be able to experience and learn and throughout everything that you did. And sometimes for people who are listening, you can't. Sometimes we can feel like we're in a wasted chapter or, you know, of our life. We're like, what is this doing? What is this serving? And looking back, I guarantee any of those moments where you question that now, how much is that serving? You help serve people with where they're at. Like, what was your biggest takeaway out of working in that children's hospital? Like, that now weaves into your life.

I mean, the biggest thing probably was that in any environment, multiple. There are multiple conversations that are happening and all. And. And if you want to serve the environment, you better connect all the conversations. So. And. And, you know, and it probably already makes sense why that is right for the kid. I'm just keeping them a lot. I'm keeping the person alive and having as much fun as possible because that's what the kid needs. Distraction and service, what the kid needs. The mom usually needs more information so she can relax. The dad needs more information so he can come out of his shell because he doesn't have power. And he usually is used to having power. And now he's at. You know, and I didn't know how to manage his wife. This is just a template of what it typically was. So being willing to have all those conversations and dance and those. All those conversations and know that they're there and realized that I could scoot right by them and be satisfied. Most people were just coming in and doing the science, but I wanted to do the art. And I got a lot out of it of doing the art, like the relationship stuff. The other part was, as I was going on in nursing, I did a little bit more where when I moved out to LA and was making nothing and living in the hood and was working a little bit as a nurse just to pay the bills, I would. But at that point, I would, you know, be hired for a day to go to, like, the ICU that I've never been to in a new hospital. So I became. I needed to become really fast at reading people because I needed to Because I was in an. I was in an unknown environment and life. And not to be dramatic, it was true. Like, life and death of this client, of this patient was in my hands. Yeah. So I needed to identify quickly who the helpful person was and who the smart person was, and hopefully they were the same person, but usually not. So becoming good at fitting in enough and becoming assertive enough, even if I was the new guy, was really what I took away the most from that. Like, being able to assert myself even though I didn't belong. I do that. I'd never put that together, but that's really what I'm doing all the time. When I'm brought into a very contentious situation between a founder and a CEO and a board, you know, they all either love or hate me, and I got to connect to all of them to get this thing done. So, you know, so being willing to, you know, locate people, that's what I call it locating people, which is like getting connected to their concerns and what's going on between their ears, especially the stuff they're not willing to say out loud yet, but being willing to detonate those conversations so they come to the surface and doing it in a way that I can be the calm presence in the midst of the crisis. Like, hey, I know what I'm doing, and this is scary for all of us. This is transition for all of us. It's okay. You probably hate me. That's okay. I'm here for you. And that tends to calm people down. So, you know, being willing to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done, that's probably what I got most out of that environment. That's an interesting question. Thanks for asking that. Wow.

So that just summarized so much of why I was so intrigued with how you do what you do, who you are, and how you were interested in it. Because I'm wondering if that is that skill learnable and teachable. Because there are so many of us who I think that majority of our problems could be solved with a conversation where we could do what you just did. Zoom out. You literally just assessed what everybody was going through and took it into consideration and realized what different conversation tone, what they needed in order to feel, to connect each other to everything, to a solution. So in any given moment, whether that's conflict with our spouse, with our partner, with our children, with our job, with our boss, with our employees, there's always all of these conversations. So what is the beginning for somebody who has one? I know that there's people listening who've just pinpointed their conversation that they're like, I'm avoiding this, but it needs to be solved. It's eating at me every single day of my life.

What.

How do you start. How do you even start looking at that when maybe you've been sweeping under the rug at work for a year or maybe in your life for 20 years with your mother?

Yeah. I say to most teams, I say, hey, at some point, we run out of room under the rug.

Oh, yeah, you know, I need a bigger rug. Yeah.

So, I mean, we know that adults typically don't make a shift unless the pain that's coming is, you know, is. I don't want to say it. Like, the hell that's coming is terrible. Right. They can rehearse it. Like, if I don't do anything and I say this to most people, it's like, well, let's say you don't do anything new. What's it look like in a year? And if they can rehearse that authentically and just talk about it, how bad is it going to get? And if it gets really horrible, that's a good motivational tool.

So is it important to go there? Because I. Okay, so that's, you know, how things for you have been innate. That's been innate in me. To go to the future pain, where I don't know if that's innate for people. It's like, they're very like, I'm going to avoid it. Okay, so how do we. Yeah, well, how do we tap into that?

Yeah, well, that takes. Well, the X factor here is courage. You know, that's. I mean, really what's here, I mean, is like, I'm not willing to face. I don't want to see the opposite. I don't want to say. I don't want to know. Right. It's actually safer. It is literally safer to act like, I don't know. But if you're a leader, you do know, like, you. You know, you're smart enough. Right. You already. You do know how bad it's going to get. And, you know, we can be unauthentic. And I do this all the time. Right. It's all of us. I. We can be unauthentic with ourselves, but that is also a heavy cross. The bear.

Yeah.

Like, when I know I'm lying to myself. And so whatever I'm doing to tolerate was what I call it. Or with clients, sometimes I'll have to make what I call a toleration list, which is like, what. What are the things I'm avoiding. And. And. And why? Like, what's the emotion that's connected to it? Because there's a reason why I'm avoiding it. I'm not a piece of. I'm. I don't know if I can cuss on this.

Oh, yeah, you can cuss away.

So I'm not a piece of shit, right? I'm not. I'm not a coward, but I'm acting cowardly. I wonder how come. What am I already associating with this, that I want to avoid it? Because most people, I'm asking them about the future. If they say, I don't know, I usually say to them, well, let's say from now on, I don't know is actually code for I'd rather not know. And if that's the case, then I wonder why I'd rather not know. And what could it be? Let's say you say you don't know. That's usually code also for I'd rather my vision. Because I say everybody's got a vision. So no matter what it is, there's always. As humans, we can't not operate with a vision. We're always operating with a vision. And for many people, confusion is the vision.

Oh, yeah.

Like, you know, I'm just. I don't know what. I don't know what to do. Which is code for I don't want to know what to do. And I'd rather be confused than get clear.

Why is that? Why do people. Why. What do you find?

Well. Well, there. I mean, there's some simple stuff, for me that's pretty universal, which is, you know, we call them survival needs. We're not the first person to call them survival needs, but, like, you know, 21st century, I guess 21st century survival needs are look good, feel good, be right, be in control. So. And our brains want to survive without us asking, without asking our permission. Like, our brains are wired to survive. We've been evolving for a long time. The number one name of the game is keep the spacesuit alive. Number two is save energy. So if I need to keep the spacesuit alive, I can. So we make up a version of reality that supports me surviving. And that's physically, of course. But we're not in risk of dying, most of us, of dying physically. But we are risk in dying to our own ego and dying to our own sense of self. You know, Xander says people's view of themselves fluctuates between flattery and pure fantasy. I believe that even among myself, I usually think I'm right about stuff, even if I don't want to. There's a conversation usually underneath that where I, like, I'll do it while I'm in an argument with anybody or especially I'll spend time just trying to be right about stuff instead of getting off it and like, being connected. I'd rather be right than be connected to her. Which makes sense if the name of the game is sustaining my view of myself. But if the name of the game is commitment to love, then I ought to get off it and go, you know, make love happen over there for her. But my arrogance protects me and damages her is my point. So, you know, survival is just, you know, the default setting for the human brain, and that's different than the default setting for the human being because I can actually be committed to something more important than my survival. Does that make sense? Yeah.

And you just. So when it comes to these. When it comes to the conversations, you just said something that was so huge. Like, for each particular conversation that you're having, do you need to reframe what your actual outcome, desire and commitment is like? Cause of course, there's always, you know, Adrian who wants to win and survive, but then there's the Adrian who's like, okay, I want to resolve with Allie or with, you know, this team or whatever this is. So do you always have to change? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, what the end winning point is. You need to be clear going in, what it is that you actually want, even though, you know, probably your ultimate desire won't happen. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, do you have to accept all conclusions or all possibilities?

Well, interesting question. I mean, we're always. I see life as a game maybe just because I'm an ex athlete, maybe. Maybe a current athlete, who knows? But at least I'm an ex athlete. And we're always playing some kind of game. And it just depends on how big of a game I want to play and on what timeline. So I can play a smaller game and need to be right about this thing, or I can play a bigger game and be willing to be wrong about that in the short term. So, for example, I might have a judgment of, say, my business partner, because this happens. He and I have pretty robust conversations all the time. So I can have a judgment of him and I can be right about that, or I could be committed to the business working, you know, and I get to choose that. And I. And I. So I can be offended or be judgmental of him, and, you know, Shut down possibilities for our future together. Or I can, like, notice that conversation and realize, oh, no, no, I love Dan. I respect Daniel. He is probably the best in the industry. He is Obi Wan. I'm Luke Skywalker. I want this guy. I can figure it out on my own. I don't need Dan and he doesn't need me. But I want him and I want this to work. So if I'm there, then actually, then the game will be very different. Right? So now I'm upset, I'm judgmental. I think he's wrong. I think I'm right. Whatever. That's just the facts of the moment. Now I can start there and have a conversation that will, you know, bring us together. Because I could just tell him, hey, man, and I do. But I do this right. So if I'm in a conversation with him and we get off the phone and I'm still arguing with him after we're off the phone, you know what I'm talking about? Where you're like, out of a conversation. You're out of a conversation, out of a conversation, but you're still in a conversation.

I spent like 10 years of my life that way, for sure.

That's right. You know, I'll still. I'll call him back and say, hey, you know what? I didn't like that last conversation. Here's what I'm making up about it, here's what I'm making up about you, and here's how I'm affected right now by what I'm making up about those things. So can we start over? And he's awesome, so he'll get it and he'll get off it pretty quickly. Even if he was a jerk on the call. And by jerk, I mean most of those things are where he comes on fired up and I don't feel like he's listening to me and he's just there to broadcast and I'm trying to have a conversation. He's broadcasting. That's how it happens a lot of times. Back to the question. Like, one of the ways we get by in life is we play not to lose. This is a big distinction I'm always thinking about for myself, where in my life am I playing not to lose versus where am I playing to win? Pretty big distinction, Very different approach. If I'm playing not to lose, which is like, usually sustaining my own view of myself, sustaining previous success, making sure I still look good, making sure people respect me, making sure all those types of things. That's usually very ego driven and very Fear driven and very history driven. Playing to win is not. It can be ego driven, but I'm willing to sacrifice myself for the sake of the mission. You know, Young calls it circumambulation, where he says, you know, that as we're becoming like we're, you know, our desires compel us, right? Our wants in life compel us. And then we elevate because of those things. But we circumambulate because, you know, when we're going after something big, we must fail in order to actually attain it because we're going to learn something. And learning feels like failure for most people because we get revealed to how naive we are, and that feels like failure. And if we're willing to go through the pain of failure, quote, unquote, in that context, then and looking like the fool, which just might be, you know, if I'm a jerk to my business partner or a jerk to Allie or a jerk to whoever, like, if I'm willing actually to seek forgiveness and, you know, get some humility and say, hey, you know what? I missed it. Even when I think I'm right about it, you know, like when Allie and I are in conflict or something, just from yesterday, she and I were in conflict during half of the day, and I was, you know, a lot of feelings about that and judgment and blah, blah, blah. And then we talked about it last night, and then I said, hold on, let me think about where I missed it and go through and point out the areas that I missed it, because I want. I just want to live that way. The conversation was pretty much over, but I wanted to do in that moment what I didn't want to do, because I wanted to slow down and confess, because I just want to live that lifestyle of confession. And I don't mean that religiously. I just mean telling on myself. Like, hey, here's. Yeah, we were separated, and this and this and this. And I knew when I saw you at this point I should have. You seemed off and I. And I could have said, hey, how are you doing? But I didn't do that. And I avoided. And then, you know, things fell apart and then they went back together. But I could have done that. I missed it. So, you know, that. I hope I'm getting to an answer that's working.

But all of it, we're getting stuff from all of it. So.

Okay, great. You know, so back to the. I mean, maybe to folks that are listening that have. They know there's something that's not working. They know there's a leap, they need to take. And they are currently busy justifying why they're not. And that might even sound like code. What I mean is like, you've all got your reasons why not to take the risk. That's the easy part. You know, the reasons to take it is the harder part. Only because you're at risk. Right? It might not work and you, and you're going to be exposed. And I get it, but I just at least understand what's really going on because like, everybody's got to make the decision about where they think life happens. Does it happen inside me or outside of me? And like, do I, do I receive opportunities or do I create them? And I don't mean that like some kind of mystical sense. I mean I've had four big pivots career wise in my life that I just illuminated. And I didn't go searching for any of them, but I was ready for them when they appeared. Like there was a readiness that I had and I wanted the next thing, whatever that was, and I was willing to go after it. And every, all those, I mean nursing, I wouldn't have been that satisfied long term because I'm not that administrative. And if you're successful, you go like run a floor or run a hospital and I don't want to wear a suit every day. But all the other things I could have, you know, I really could have found joy in it. I know I could have. But I had to leave that to go find something new. And I, you know, had to become the fool again, become the novice again. And no big deal as long as for me, I was willing to throw myself at it, you know, so we have all, we all have reasons why we're avoiding it and if we can get honest with ourselves and find somebody to be honest with them because, you know, the, you know, loneliness is very different than aloneness. I was, I talked to founders about this all the time, just today actually that like the whole like people don't understand what I'm going through. Like that's such a, what we call like a racket. It's such a, such a front because of course they don't. Because you're you. Nobody's going to understand you. Let's just get over it. Nobody's going to get you. I get it. Like that's it. So if we quit wanting people to get where I am or to understand me so they can fully empathize, just get over it. It's not going to happen. Nobody's going to understand what it's like to Be you. Nobody's going to understand what it's like to be me. And that helps me get off of my. My need to be understood before I move forward or my need for things to be. For somebody to agree with me and empathize with me, to have a relationship with them. No, I can give. I can, you know, be more committed to it, the vision, or be more committed to them than me getting my needs met first. So whatever the big, like, leap is, if you can think about the future and realize, if I do, will I be satisfied? Really? Will I be satisfied if I don't do it? And that's. Everybody's got that personal decision. And I've worked with lots of people that said they wanted to take the leap and go start their thing, but they really weren't willing to pay the price, which is totally fine. That's not like a moral thing. Like, nobody's got to go out and be an entrepreneur. You don't have to, because it's hard if you want to bet on yourself every day. Not everybody wants that pressure. Some of us love it. I love it just because that's the type of game I want to play. But it's not like there's nothing you should do or need to go do. If you're haunted by it, you got to listen to it because it's probably not going to go away. But, you know, getting connected to the real conversation, what's the real resistance, you know, and if it's like ego driven, it's good just to put language on that and own it and be responsible for it. Because even if you're avoiding it, you're going to be inauthentic about it. So, you know, that's, you know, and it's never going to work out. You know, my business partner always says nothing ruins a plan like reality, you know, so it's like, you know, I mean, you could. Don't. You could spend time forever trying to make this perfect plan. But that's for you. It's not for the plan like you're planning most the time to try to create a scenario in your own mind that tells you it's safe and it's not happening because it's not safe. And you're either. You're either bigger than the breakdown or you're not. And like, those that I think, go build something amazing, just realize, hey, something falling apart is going to make me stronger, period. So great, bring it on. And I'm going to run at 100 mile an hour, at 100 miles an hour at this opportunity and I'm going to fail. No big deal. Like really no big deal. So I mean, it's part of the tension. We use this tool called the Harrison Assessment, which is a really distinct leadership assessment tool that's not very well used in the or not very popularly used in the US and it lays out these paradoxes, these leadership paradoxes. And if you're going to map culture with a senior team or something, it's really brilliant. You can check them out. Harrison Assessment or ask me about it later. But one of these paradoxes, the self paradox, is this self acceptance versus self improvement. So most ambitious people are really high on self improvement, right? Like, hey, how do I get better? How do I learn? How do I grow? What's the next edge? Dah, dah, dah, right? That's your conversation, Lori, that's mine. You know, and most successful leaders actually have lower self acceptance, which really works, right? Because if I don't think I'm okay the way I am, it really drives me to get better. But what most top leaders are haunted by is some sense of shame, like I should be better. What's wrong with me? And so we tend to get defensive when the pressure comes up. We tend to flip towards, we tend to be self critical and then tend to flip to defensive when, you know, that's why a lot of people have great ideas, have great ambition, but can't handle it when they bring on a team because all of a sudden now they have more eyes and ears on reality and they're used to protecting the reality. And when you get, you know, other opinions in there, it's messier. And then you got to deal with that, what's true and what's not true and how do I talk about it and how do I not get defensive and how. You know, every founder I know is very precious about their organization, which is natural. You know, they always talk about it like it's their child. Of course that's true because it is blood, sweat and tears, you know, and that attachment to it as a child is really codependent. Like it needs to be xyz, otherwise I'm not. And that will kill people. It does. It blows up companies. Founders get fired because they can't detach, they can't separate their thing from themselves. So if you've got like this growth mindset, which I didn't come up with that language of course, but if you got that growth mindset that, hey, it's going to fail, that's okay, I'm going to Fail, it's okay. My commitment is to get up and be persistent and be resilient. Then, you know, bring it on.

Tell me about your relationship with uncertainty.

My relationship with uncertainty, I'm not certain of much is what's true for me. And that's part of it is. Part of that is strategic. So, you know, if I think something is the way I think it is, then when I'm out there engaging with it, and that could be a person or that could be a thing, whatever, if I have that view of it that's pretty fixed, like, I'm sure I know what it is, then I'm probably going to have a strong agenda, and that agenda won't let me listen to contrary information.

Oh, interesting, right?

Because that's the way our brains work. Like, we actually usually we make a decision, and then our brains, without asking our permission, our brains make a decision and then go out and collect evidence about why it's right about that and about that decision. That's like neuroscience. We can't turn that off unless we decide to be curious. Curiosity can break up dogma. Curiosity breaks up anger. Curiosity breaks up a bunch of stuff. So, like, being okay with the uncertain is a commitment of mine. Like, I don't know what's going on over there. That. That lends me towards curiosity. So I don't. I don't want to live in this world where I think I've got it figured out. First off, my ego would love that. And when I'm operating in my own e, as my mother would say, it's not the Adrian Kaler show, but she said, she said that to me, oh, I don't know, 5 million times growing up. So I want to go find out. And my commitment is to be like an explorer type mentality. Like, I want to go find out. Let's go see what's over that ridge. Let's go see what's happening. Oh, here's what I think this guy's thinking. Let me go find out. So uncertainty, for me is almost like a tool that probably intuitive. I haven't thought about it like this, but uncertainty is like a tool that provokes curiosity in me. And I think curious people are the most compelling people in the world. So I'd rather be curious, you know, if I could be impressed by someone, that's just a better strategy in life. So I hope those ideas connect together. But it's like, I dig uncertainty because it usually comes. Puts me on my toes. I don't know what's going to happen next. I'M leaning forward and, like, engaged. And I'm the type that gets really bored pretty quickly. So if something's new and uncertain, those two things go together, then I'm pretty compelled. So that makes a day or a conversation. Like, every call, every new client, every call with a conflicted situation, I never know what's going to happen. So it really pulls me into a. A way of being or, like, a presence or, like, a mood that's really highly engaged. And I like feeling engaged. Like, I really dig that form. I like it in myself. And I think most people like talking to somebody that's engaged, really listening, wants to know, curious, and they feel like advocacy from the other person. I mean, I'm committed to being a fierce advocate for my clients. That's what I tell all of them. So I got to be. I'm willing to. To not know what's going on, which. That all connects to uncertainty for me. So, yeah, I want to live in a big world.

That is so interesting. You just put me in a room with. Because I'm usually in a lot of rooms with a lot of people I don't know. Well, you know, and you teach a lot of people, so probably vice versa. Same thing for you. And you literally just made me realize, like, you really do show up as a different person if you put the question in your head first, because there are times that I use it, but there are times you just kind of default back to, you know, being human and being like, this is what I think I know about this person. This is how I'm gonna approach this conversation. And when you flip it and you're like, what if I don't actually know anything? I would be a totally different person if I walked up to everyone in that room like that, and I would be honestly more interested. So, yeah, that was really, you know, I. Don't. You think you're doing it and you. Yeah, we're not always doing that. So I want to know one last question, because I could talk to you all day, and our time is running out, and I don't want to tell me about. Because it's so interesting with uncertainty and especially right now. Tell me about how you feel about, like, uncertain times in the world. Like, when you can tell. I mean, it's always right. There's. Oh, there's always uncertain times in the world, but especially right now, when a lot of people are feeling really unsure and they're acting in completely different ways, and they're in a lot of fear right now. And what is. What are Questions that you wish more people would either ask you or themselves during this time. So your relationship with uncertainty in accordance to the world. And then what are questions that you wish more people would ask you?

Yeah, let's see, let's see. We've got a phrase we use that Dan brought to me from his years and years of this work, this transformational leadership work. What they used to say back in the 80s, which was, so what now what? And what they mean by that or what he means or what we mean by that is like, first off, stop, stop resisting reality. This is what's happening now. Is it good news or bad news that this is happening now? That's up to us now. I don't mean that glibly in this moment because obviously there's sickness and people are going to die and that. Right. So there's some severity there beyond that for most of us that won't, that will make it through the world's uncertain. And really it's always been. It just feels more that way now because, you know, there's lots that are outside of our control and we actually know it. I mean, I'm kind of a serenity prayer type guy. Everybody's probably familiar with that colloquially, you know, God grant me the serenity to know, but to know what's in my control, know what's not, and then they know the difference. Right? So most people there are. Well, there are many views of reality. So when things are uncertain, most people will, will follow or take the closest life raft, which hunker down, make it through, survive. And everybody buys that. Right? Because that's actually socially acceptable. Right? Because many, many people, their businesses are going to crash now and they're going to get to blame the uncertainty for it or XYZ is going to crash. And now the uncertainty becomes the narrator of the story. I wish people would not give up their agency so quickly. And many won't. Many of this will be the most successful time in their families. Many of this would be the most successful time in their career. But that is something that people choose to harness. And so I typically, when I'm hit by something I don't like or something's happening that I don't prefer, when I'm of sound mind, I'll say to myself, what's the advantage in this? Which is not what my brain is thinking about. My brain is thinking about how much this sucks. This is not what I want. Don't they know me? Don't they respect, Blah, blah, blah. I'm going into like, self pity Wrapped in arrogance. But the. But when I'm of sound mind, I'll say, hold on, what's the advantage here? How do I take. How do I take advantage of this? What do I get to do now that I didn't get to do before? And that's a very different question to live in. So, you know, this is uncertain. That's great. I mean, talk about a time when being generous makes a difference. People. There are people that are freaked out right now, and to be a voice of calm for them is going to build rapport with them that'll pay off later, you know, and if you want to take a risk, take it now. If you fail, you can't. You can blame uncertainty for it. Like, really, it's okay. You know, this is the time to take strides. So that's. I mean, what I. What I wish people would ponder is, is that this is a moment. I mean, uncertainty typically helps us reprioritize ourselves. So in that context, like, we get clear about what matters and what doesn't matter to us, and we can make new choices through that. So it's kind of a nice, you know, I used to say control, alt, delete, but we're not on PC. We're not on PCs anymore. But it's a nice, like, shaking up of the Etch A Sketch, if you will, or some, you know, it's like there's an opportunity to make new choices here and you're justified. Like, you know, have an epiphany today. Just decide, oh, hold on, this is new. What's. You know, and, like, you know, and so we can hunker down or we can engage. So I. That's what I wish for people. I wish for myself. And my team is like, hey, this is a huge advantage. Like, you know, what is it? We don't know. But if we live as if there's something good that's about to happen, some opportunity that's around the corner, we'll see it, we'll find it when it. When it. When it appears. But if I'm, you know, committed to just surviving the uncertainty, and I think the uncertainty sets the parameters of what's possible for me, then I'll be right about that and my life will stay the size it is or get smaller. So psychologists call it like external locus of control versus internal locus of control. Is it running me or am I running it? This is a perfect time to become really great at navigating uncertainty, if you want that.

Yeah, I am. I'm sitting in that every day. And I'M like, how comfortable can I get with not knowing anything at all?

That's right. Yeah.

It really does make me even. It makes you realize what you're in control of creating because it's been a really beautiful time of realizing, like, how you can go into a creation mode and completely almost. It's not that I'm being naive to what's going on, but you can create a world within a different world that people are experiencing. So that's kind of. It goes back to the beginning of what meaning are you making? And I'm making a really powerful meaning out of this time right now. And I know a lot of the listeners are, and I know that you are. And I'm so grateful you came on at this time to talk about this because I think it's so valuable and needed right now. And then maybe we can talk you into coming on later about some scaling and leadership stuff as well. Cause I know that you just have a vast amount of knowledge about so many things. So maybe we can try to get you to do a part two. Just trying to get you to say it. Yes on here.

So we have it.

Okay, great. All right, I'm on record.

No, I remember this.

I'm gonna play it for you.

I've always, I mean, contribution is, you know, the game I'm after anyway, not, not every day am I in that mindset. But that's, that's the biggest commitment to me is, is, you know, to contribute. So there are ways to keep contributing. I'm in. And so thanks for the conversation. I know an hour flew by very quickly.

Oh, I'm so incredibly grateful and I want to make sure that people can find you because I know that you are doing so many incredible things and offering different trainings and I know you work with a ton of different leaders. So where can we find you? Where can we follow you? All that good stuff.

Sure. So my name's spelled funny, so it's Adrian Kahlor. K O E H L E R. Our website's take newground.com you can find me on LinkedIn on Instagram. @ the moment it's a D E K O E H L E R and I'd love to dialogue with anybody and if you want to have a follow up conversation, love to. However I can serve anybody. That's what makes, you know, gets me up in the morning. So love to connect. So thank.

You. So grateful for you and you guys. I will be sharing also when he goes on the podcast with Ali because those conversations are going to Be freaking amazing as well, and something that we love to do here. All the listeners know if you got massive value from this podcast, which I know you did, because I did. I would love if you would tag Adrian on Instagram and tag myself. Upload this to your Instagram stories, upload this particular podcast and write what your biggest takeaway from him was. It's just a beautiful way to say thank you. It's a beautiful way to share it with your audience. So you guys make sure you tag him. Make sure you tag me. And we will also. I will also share your story. So, Adrian, I just want to say thank you again. I'm, like, so ridiculously grateful that you gave your time and this was so much.

Fun. So thanks for having me on. So much fun. I could do this all day.

So. Well, you're about to thank you on your own podcast.

So. Yeah. Yeah, it's really fun. Yeah, it's really fun, I guess. Let me make mention of that. So raising the bar is the podcast Ali and I are now doing together, where we look at the internal process of entrepreneuring. And the naked leadership podcast is the one with me and my business partners, and we interview a lot of founders as well. And, Lori, I'll be coming up for a conversation with you soon for that, but we like to look at what's going on behind the scenes for all the leaders, because we all need. We all. I mean, when I hear. When I hear my struggle through someone else's mouth, I feel more connected and I move forward faster. So that's part of. Part of the mission. So thanks for already. I know you've created a huge community of people that are committed to loving each other, supporting each other, advocating for each other, helping everybody win. And if there's any time in history we need, that is right now. So thank.

You. Thank you. And you guys make sure you text this and share this with a friend right now who, you know, needs it. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye.