53: QUICKIE! Being OPEN in LIFE

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast.

I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss.

Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it is time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and you know that you have to seek it and bring it into your world. So different ways to do that are obviously podcasts. Thanks so much for listening to this one. Hopefully I've introduced you to some really awesome podcasts as well. I have a lot of people on here who also have podcasts that I interview and that's something that I love to do, is connect you to people that you need. Because my story is not always going to resonate with you. Right? So go seek it out until you find those spots and they're always going to change. And that is the coolest part about a topic I'm going to talk to you today about, and that is openness. Just being open to all sorts of different kinds of people, of inspiration to what you need, to what really might be lacking in your life right now. And I think that when we can realize that a lot of times we get used to something, we get used to a type of person, we get used to a type of food, we get used to a type of exercise, we get used to a type of inspiration, right? And sometimes all of those things stop working for us. So how do we know when they've stopped working for us? Well, I would say it's definitely a feeling in your life. You're not excited anymore. You're starting to maybe dread that workout that used to get you excited and pull your out of bed in the morning. Maybe you're starting to not look forward to that group of people that you used to love being around. Maybe you're starting to not be able to finish that genre of books that you keep grabbing from, right? You keep opening the chapters and trying to read, but it's just not resonating anymore. So that's a huge way to know that your Ex your circle or your thoughts, your ideas, your life needs to open up a bit more. But what happens when we attempt to open? Well, it feels unfamiliar. It doesn't feel right. It doesn't. We have our ideas and our perceptions about those other things, right? About those other people, about those other workouts, about the other ways that people are getting inspired. Maybe we have ideas around what those retreats are like or what that personal development is like, or what that person is like because we've perceived them or given them one chance, maybe from social media or opened up to a chapter that didn't quite resonate with us or you know, we watched something that we were closed minded at the time. A lot of times our perceptions are blocking us from exactly what we need. And for me this comes in the form of people all the time. It's very easy for me to close people off because I uncomfortable. Because obviously at the core of us, we all desire to feel loved, needed and appreciated and like we fit in and we're comfortable and we have something to offer. So a lot of times when I'm around the people that I actually need to be around to elevate my life, I don't feel comfortable. I don't feel like I have anything to offer because all of the past stories in my mind come up like, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough. What could you possibly offer to this person? What sort of value could you possibly offer, right? So my perception is that they are above me or too good for me or too smart for me, or I'm not smart enough, right? It's triggering all these things. So a lot of times when we become more open, it can trigger so much for us. Oh my gosh, I'm uncomfortable. Oh my goodness. I don't like this thing about them because you know, a lot of times what we do is we try to make people less than to make us feel better about the fact that we feel less than. So I can see this immediately in my life. A lot of times it will come up for me in the form of judgment. So if I feel myself judging anyone anywhere, I ask myself which part of me feels like I am lacking that I am looking for a flaw in them so that I can measure myself against it and, and attempt to win, which never happens. And this is a really great openness slash mindfulness practice. And whenever that comes up for me, I always like to scan and see why I'm judging this person or why I'm feeling less than or why I'm Attempting to make them less than. And it's because immediately our, our exactly what we. Our default response is to make ourselves feel better. Right. So how do we do that? Whether you do that by sabotaging or whether you do that through judging or putting someone else down, these are all forms of attempting to immediately feel better or attempting to immediately numb out. Right. So if I'm making myself feel bad because I'm measuring myself against someone that, you know, maybe were. You're measuring body, right? Because let's be really real. It doesn't matter how elevated you get. Sometimes in your life you can say, oh my gosh, this person is way more fit or this person is so beautiful or whatever that is. I'm just being really, really honest here that you're not measuring up maybe or you don't feel that great or you're not putting the value in the really important things and it's getting back to what is missing in you. Why are you focusing on this? What's going on right now that you're not seeing this person's beauty and what they have to offer because you are being blinded by a perception or something that is missing in you. So where can you open up a little bit more to understand that when you open up, that's where the gifts are. So I want to read. I read last week from the Virtues Project cards. So it's the virtuesproject.com I believe so Virtues Project International. They're just a bunch of cards that have words on them which are different virtues and then an explanation. And I love them. So openness. Openness is being honest, clear and sincere. Sharing who we are and what we feel without pretense. It is the willingness to consider new ideas and listen to others with an open mind. We reveal our thoughts candidly without attempting to manage the response of others. We hold no hidden agendas. We are more interested in connecting than controlling. We listen to others feelings with compassionate curiosity. When we are open, we are receptive to the blessings and surprises of life. And that last sentence is everything to me. When we are open, we are receptive to the blessings and surprises of life. Every single person who I feel has added massive value in my life. I maybe haven't felt extremely comfortable around in the beginning because they have up leveled me. They have made me be open. They've made me take my blinders off. They've made me stop judging myself. They've made me stop worrying about what I have to offer. And it's forced me to be open and listen. What does this person have to give me. Where is this surprise gift? Where can I stop judging myself or judging them and be open to the gift of connection, whatever that is. It doesn't mean you're going to be best friends after, but what it can mean is you just went through or developed a relationship or had an experience that was enjoyable, or that you just allowed any awkward feelings to come up or any judgment pass or anything like that. Anytime that we can grow and expand and start to get comfortable with, what was uncomfortable is expansion. It's openness. It's pulling those blinders off. It's looking at that thing that may have made you crazy before, or that person that may have triggered envy, or that person who may have triggered feelings of not enough in you and allowing them and seeing how you can just allow this into your space and to love yourself in love and that person. So openness, where can you bring a little more openness today? And on the back, there is a practice of openness that you can do. It says, I am honest and transparent. I am direct and candid in sharing my perspective. Right, because that means you're not going to judge yourself later. I appreciate new ideas and possibilities. I sincerely want to communicate. I have no hidden motives. I care about the views and feelings of others. I am willing to receive life's bounties. So no matter what is someone saying, that might be their belief, that might be their perception. And it's okay. It doesn't mean you have to adopt it. It means you can consider it, you can look at it, you can see how it could possibly potentially be that way. And if anything else, it's just going to gain mass perspective on human beings, on communication and on relationships. And at the end of the day, that is the only point of life because nothing worth having is worth having until shared. So it's about sharing, connecting, being with others, moving through, seeing how we can expand and grow together. Give value, add value, grow, get value, allow value into your life, allow people to do things for you. If you are a doer and a people pleaser and really start setting some healthy boundaries as well. It says, I'm direct and candid in sharing my perspective. If you do it with love, then it's all in the spirit of expansion and growth and love.

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So you guys, I love to hear from you. So make sure that you follow me on Instagram because I do a lot of chatting with you guys there. So I love to hear what what different topics that you like to hear and what podcasts really touched you the most and what guests because our guests love to hear from you. So tag our guests, tag me, tag the podcast and I want to hear from you. So follow me on Instagram at Lori Harder I'm loving the new Instagram Snore Snores. Snores, we can call them that if I'm not funny. They're Snorri's snooze fest stories. And also, I don't even know if at this point there will be Bliss Project tickets left, but I want to let you guys know that@theblissproject.info is where you can snatch up probably the last, I don't know, five tickets because right now there are only 22 tickets left. And I know this isn't coming out for like another week, so there is going to be a waiting list so you can email our customer service if by any chance people are unable to attend. So if you want to get on that as well, so just go check it out though because if you want to make sure that you and all of your tribe gets to the Bliss Project next year, you're going to want to get thrown on that list. So the Bliss project.info we've only had ticket sales released for one week. So you guys, we are almost sold out and that is 300 tickets because people are finally catching on to what this event is and you do not want to miss it. So the bliss project.info and hopefully I will get to meet you and see you there and we'll get to connect and bond and have the best time ever. So until next time, you guys earn your happy. Much love. Bye bye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing. Amazing. And we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye. It.