545. 5 steps to get unstuck

I want to be wildly open to new directions and all directions that the universe, world, God, whatever you believe in has for this plan. Maybe it is not the way that I'm thinking. So I want to open up. I want to stay completely open in this pause and show me other possible routes to whatever I'm thinking. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Hey, everybody. We are back once again for he said, she said. And today we're going to talk about how to get unstuck. And it's really kind of an impromptu conversation because Lori was kind of feeling in a funk today, and I was like, what's wrong, babe?

And you said, I feel stuck. I feel frustrated.

And for no reason, which is because when I said, okay, why? You're like, literally no reason. I just feel stuck. And then you went on to say, I know I'm not stuck and I still feel stuck. And then the craziest coincidence ever, you got a text message from somebody, and what that text say?

It said, I feel stuck. I just feel so stuck.

Isn't that so weird?

Very close to me. And I think, you know, there are reasons that I feel stuck. It's because sometimes there's so many directions you can go that for me, it's really overwhelming to not have a clear plan or a strategy. So we sat down and I came up with five different ways to that for me to start feeling unstuck. Because without a plan, it just feels like too many paths to take, like too much opportunity.

Let me just kind of interject here real quick. Is it okay to feel stuck? Does it mean you're weak? Does it mean that you suck? Does it mean that you actually are stuck? Does it mean that, like, maybe you're not cut out for something?

No, it's literally a part of the process. But, man, those feelings are so freaking real when you feel them. Like, oh, my God, moments from tears. Because it is just like, you really question if you're the person who can do what you want to do. And I think when you just don't have the plan of like a super clear plan of action in all directions, it can almost feel like everything's up in the air and you're waiting. So instead of actually taking action, it's really easy to almost get overwhelmed, stare at your computer and do nothing. And this is the worst feeling, especially for people who really like to be productive.

Yeah. And some people stare and do nothing, like you just said. Other people, they'll do all sorts of quote busy things that are really just treading water to try and make them feel like they're doing something. You do both.

Oh, I do both. Yes. So five steps. The first one is to allow yourself to just go have fun and relax and change your mood. Because from that funky place, you ain't doing nothing. Like nothing. There is nothing you can do. When you feel completely stuck to force yourself into something, you almost need to go and get in a complete change of energy. Go be around people and go. Remember that ideas do not come to you. Staring at your computer, wishing that you could just get something out of your body and wonder what you're going to do. It really requires like going and being either with people, getting on a zoom call, going out in nature. You got to change your state.

Go for a walk, go for a hike, go get in your car, go for a car. Like for me, go get my car, put on my favorite music, go for a car ride, go run errands. And it's so hard though, because when you feel stuck, that's really. If I had to translate it, it feels like, oh no, I'm behind. I need to do something to move this forward. So it feels counterintuitive to drop what you're doing, to walk away and to go do something fun. It feels like you're. You haven't earned that reward to go do something fun. Talk to me about that.

Oh, yeah, that's huge. It's. It's crazy because I do have to remember. I have to look back on the times that I've unstuck myself. And if you haven't had an experience like this yet, like if you're up, your life up until now has felt very stuck. I completely understand that. I lived in that state for years and it was the most frustrating, overwhelming lack of self confidence, like, oh my God, like all the time. I just felt self loathing a lot. And it's a horrible thing to walk around with. And you know, I think that immediately Just the having to let go and change your. Like, just change your energy, change your state. What was your question? Sorry?

Oh, I said, is it okay to just. Because what you were advocating is drop what you're doing. Go have fun, Change your state. Do something. Go for a walk, go to the park, drive your car. And I was saying, but wait, those feel like rewards in a time where intuitively you're being. You're telling yourself you don't deserve a reward right now, you should power through this thing.

Yeah, but energy and ideas come from movement. A lot of the times, especially, you know, movement of energy, whether that's just being outside, getting out of your house, but movement in your body. I can't tell you how many times being around other people changes changing my energy or movement in my body or going and listening to a podcast, I always think if I'm in a really low frequency, like, get out of it. Like, go listen to somebody who has been. Who recorded their podcast in a high frequency. Like, go, you know, get around some energy outside. Go get around water if you can. Go sit in the sunshine. If you can't do any of these things, definitely a podcast or a book.

So do something radical. Change your state.

Yes, absolutely. Number two is to accept and surrender to it and ask what the feelings actually are underneath the feeling of stuck. Stuck is not a feeling. Like, it's not a thing. It's not the actual. It's not the reason why you're feeling that way. Right. You're not just like, I'm stuck. Okay. What is the actual feeling underneath stuck? Is it anxiety? Is it you're not clear? Is it you have no plan, you have no strategy? Are you afraid to take the steps that you know you might need to take? Do you feel like you don't have the network that you need? Do you feel like there's just way too much to do in order to even move this needle forward? And you're not the person who could even begin to do this. Do you feel like you're wondering if you even have the willpower for it? Do you feel like you just unsure? So what you can do first is write down all the feelings. If you're like, yes, yes, yes to all of those, there is support that you can do with each of them, and you do it one at a time? I think a lot of times when we feel stuck, it's overwhelmed by either too much to do, too many choices, or not knowing what to do. So if you're feeling not clear, if that's the main Thing like, I'm so stuck, I just don't know what to do first. So I end up doing something I'm good at, or I'm so stuck, I don't know what my next step is. Then you clearly need to pull in some support, which we're going to talk about around, you know, if you don't have a strategy, who can help you strategize? If you're afraid, who can help you? Who can you talk to? Who's been there before, who's like, hey, man, that's like completely a part of the process. Fear is a part of it. But here's what you're gonna do anyway. How can you support yourself around that? Do you need a daily conversation in the morning with a friend, like a five minute pep talk? Do you need, you know, to declare it so that you feel really responsible to show up for that thing? Okay, let's move into three, because this is totally the. The next steps align with that as well. So number three is rally support and accountability. So rally support and accountability around the things that I just said. So what support and accountability can you pull in around each one? Like I said, if you're feeling all of those things, you need to kind of think of how you can support yourself around each one, one at a time. And as you work through them, you're gonna slowly start to see that you can take action on each thing. And I'm telling you, action cures anxiety. So even if you're taking small action on one of the steps, you're gonna, you're going to start not feeling stuck anymore. You're going to start feeling that forward movement.

So wait, when I hear this, rally support and accountability. I pictured you rallying people for support and people for accountability, but you're saying something a little bit different.

No, I'm definitely doing that.

Okay, all right. Because what I thought you were saying there is take one step and that kind of moves it forward and starts to give you evidence that you're unstuck.

That does give you evidence that you're unstuck, but the fact that you need to rally support and accountability around each feeling of stuckness. So I think once you have unlayered what the actual emotions are under your stuckness, you need to support yourself around each one. So if it's not clear, you know, if you're not clear and you don't know your next steps, you would rally support. You would find somebody to help hold you accountable and also help you strategize.

To get a plan that Makes good sense. So what if someone listening right now, they're like, I don't have somebody.

Well, if you don't have somebody, you can literally. You guys, I have been googling answers. So, like, what would my next step be if I'm right here? Or you could start reading a book of somebody who's built a business before. You could start listening to a podcast of someone who scaled their business. You could start searching for anyone who is. You know, how do I take my business online? What are the first steps? How do I start a podcast? What's step one? So there's always information that we can access on our own, especially if it's not having a plan. There's actually a ton of plans online. So next or number four is to play stupid idea time. So we got this from our friends Robin, Kim, Murgatroyd.

This was my favorite.

And it's. This one's so much fun because it just kind of gets you into the realm of thinking that you think your goal has to be accomplished in one way, and it reminds you that maybe you're feeling quote unquote, stuck because that way that you're trying and pushing for is not actually the way. So who can you play stupid idea Time with? Or can you just play it by yourself and write down, are there other paths to your outcome? What are the other options in order to help get yourself to the place that you want to go?

So here's what I love. Like, here's a real example. Stupid idea time takes away the judgment in the ideas, and then it allows you to dream, and you think of radical things that you wouldn't have thought of otherwise. You and I were doing it yesterday on a walk. I don't think we declared it stupid idea time, but we just got down this rabbit hole of, hey, we should buy a boat. Hey, we should buy a huge boat. Hey, if we bought a big enough boat, we could actually do, like, little networking things on it once a month. We could do little masterminds on it once a month. We could, you know, have five people at a time once a month, reserve spots and go out and network and mastermind with us all day. And it became this like. Like a product, like something that lit us up that we know would be really fun to do. Things like that only come from stupid idea time.

Oh, my God. I would have never thought about it. And we were like. Because we had chartered a boat this weekend, we had rented a boat, and we just fell in love with it. We were like, that was part of my Step one was allowing myself to go relax and have fun instead of thinking I needed to get so much done and push through because nothing was happening. So to completely let go and be on the water and go charter a boat was, like, opposite of what I felt I should be doing, but I just surrendered to it. And what ended up happening was stupid idea time. Oh, my God, how great would this be to have this stress reliever in our life and to also be able to make it a business to help other people remember to go have fun, relax, recharge, maybe do business planning on this boat. So, yeah, stupid idea time brought about this possible business that we think we want to do and go help strategize and mastermind with people, small groups of people on the water. So that's so crazy and so much fun. So the fifth one is to. And this is the last one. It's just to reframe it. It's to reframe your words around stuck. That stuck is a part of the process. And you're not stuck. You're in a brief pause. And sometimes the pauses are actually to assess and reflect. And I actually think it's funny. The person I'm gonna interview today on my podcast, Rory Vaden, has a book called Procrastinate on Purpose. And I can't tell you how many times in the pause that I have gotten massive, like, rerouting for the better. So once in a while, you can really look back and go, wait a minute. Yes, I was procrastinating. Yes, I was saying I was stuck. But when I opened that back up and viewed it as part of the process and really said, okay, show me why I feel this way. Like, show me if you're trying to show me a new direction. Like, I want to be wildly open to new directions and all directions that the universe, world, God, whatever you believe in has for this plan, maybe it is not the way that I'm thinking. So I want to open up. I want to stay completely open in this pause and show me other possible routes to whatever I'm thinking.

You know, this is a time because of what's going on with COVID and economy and all that, a lot of people are probably feeling stuck. And I think the biggest thing I took away from this, by the way these points were awesome, was that stuck isn't a thing, so stop being stuck. On stuck is stuck as an indicator of either fear or anxiety or uncertainty or something like that. That was probably my biggest takeaway out of this.

Yeah. Or the need of a pause or a recharge or an opening up or your attached attachment. You might be really attached to what you think it's supposed to be. It may not be that at all.

And you don't have to know the answer of what it's a signal for. You just have to start doing these things to be like, oh, that's what it was. I needed to change my state. Oh, that's what it was. I needed more certainty. Oh, that's what it was. I needed some advice.

Yep, absolutely. So, yeah, I don't know. Unstuck. Unstuckness. We don't even want to use that word anymore. Pause. Just a brief pause to assess and see if there's a new direction.

What I love about you is that you're always willing to speak about what's real for you in a moment. And you do it in this linear way with like the steps like this. So thank you for always being you.

Babe.

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You're welcome.

Hey guys, listen, if you feel stuck in your finances, I have a free video training series on different ways to think about and different ways to behave with your finances. And it's totally free. So go check it out@the truthaboutmoney.com actually, scratch that. It's not the truth about money.com it's for the loveofmoney.com free. The other one will bring you to a product which of course you could buy, but I'd rather you go to the free stuff, which is the truth about money.com free.

Whichever one you want to go to, you just follow your heart. Yes. Open up to the ether. All right, guys, until next time, earn your happy and your money. If you're combining this podcast. All right, thank you guys so much and make sure that you tag Chris and myself on Instagram. Let us know your biggest takeaway on this and just remember, we are pretty much always right there with you. It's all a part of the process. Bye. Bye.

Appreciate you guys.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely, absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.