55: Thriving in BUSINESS and FAMILY LIFE with Amber Lilyestrom

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Welcome to the earn your happy podcast.

I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss.

Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear. Clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And today I have a friend of mine on who I just adore. Her name is Amber Liliestrom and she is a transformational branding and business coach, writer, mamapreneur and passionate soul on a mission. And I have just loved watching every single second, every single year of her ever growing journey. You guys are gonna love this podcast. She is also the host of the Soul fueled CEO, which I had the honor and pleasure of being on. And I just loved our conversation. So make sure you go check that one out. Where I get to be on her podcast. And now it's my turn. And she has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs turn their passion into a heart centered brand and a thriving business. So what she loves to do is take it from the idea conception to the construction of the business and all of the techie bits in between. And Amber assists new entrepreneurs in changing the world one by brand at a time. So you guys, we talked about everything under the sun, but especially her journey, how she got there, branding, what she's doing now, how she started it as a mom. So I can't wait for you to listen in. Let's get started. Amber, I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

Oh my gosh, Lori, I am overjoyed to be here today.

Okay, so this is really fun because it's always fun to do a pod swap. I got to be on her podcast. This is Soul Fueled CEO and I just really feel like I wasn't done with that conversation. So I'm so glad to have you on here. And Amber and I go way back. It feels like way, way back. But I don't know if it's too, too far. But we met at a fitness camp basically. And actually we went online before that.

Right.

With some sort of a blog that she did on my site for. Was that busy Girl healthy life back in the day.

It was. It was.

See you guys, you. You go through like so many different ident. It's so cool, Amber, to see everything that you are doing. I mean, watching your evolution online and just everything that you have going on right now and the people that you're working with is so exciting to me. So I know that people would look at you right now and say, oh my gosh, how on earth did this woman do it? But I really want you to tell us about your life before the business.

Mm. Thank you so much for all of that, Lori. And I love how our paths have crossed and how we've stayed connected and just grown and watched each other just, you know, blossom and shine and all of that. It's been such so much fun. So my story before becoming an entrepreneur, I mean, I've really been an entrepreneur all of my life, if I'm really being honest. And I just shared this recently on a training. You don't actually know this fact. This is a little bit zany. But I was an entrepreneur from age 9 when my mom started showing purebred Himalayan and Persian cats. So you can call me the crazy cat lady if you want. And it's so funny. My mom kind of retells some of the stories and I of course, remember lots of it, but she talks about how I was the one that was doing the contracts for the sale of the kittens and I was at the shows and I was speaking to crowds and I hand drew the logo and my dad had it vectorized and put on a business card and. And I built the website and I didn't know how to do that, but I taught myself how to build a website. And so all of my life I've really been had this entrepreneurial spirit. Then I worked in collegiate athletics for a decade at my alma mater after playing soccer there. And it was really just such a cool place for me to really grow up and learn so many things about life and business and people and myself. And in that career, I went from being this brand new college graduate who grew up there as a student athlete to then becoming an associate athletic director and being at the top of my field with sport marketing professionals across the nation. I was actually positioned to be the president of all sport marketing professionals, which would have actually been this coming year in 2017. And the story to kind of lead into that was I had been feeling this tug really around the time when I started doing fitness, because as you know, there's so much personal growth that happens when you are on that journey of doing competitive fitness and you. There's so much inspiration, and there's just. There's so much expansion. I started writing a blog and meeting a lot of people who are really similar. And I was so inspired by my coaches and. And just through this whole process and always had been a leader. I was the captain of my college soccer team. I'd been always in these leadership positions. And so. So these. You know, as you can see, it's like I always think of it as just, like, all these dots of our lives, like, coming together and then creating the path for us. And when you look back, it's so funny because you're like, oh, duh, of course it was always like that, but it doesn't feel like it when you're in it. And so I was there, and I just could not figure out how, for the life of me, I knew that I wanted to be doing more, and I knew that I had this calling that was deep down inside of me from a very young age to help others, to empower others, to. I always had the ability to see the gifts in people and to really reflect that back to them. And then I had this other skill of just helping people take inspired action, to create their dreams, no matter what it was. So I had a mentor program, and I taught at the University of New Hampshire. I taught sport marketing there. And I would coach my students into other careers, and whatever it was they really wanted to do, I would coach them into that. And that was such a beautiful opportunity. And so the big story and the real, you know, what I like to refer to as the catalyst was when I. In 2013, I was pregnant with our daughter, and I went into labor. I drove myself to the hospital. It was like, that much of an onset. I literally, like, in between contractions, pulled out of the garage and just, like, floored it and got myself to the hospital.

Oh, my.

Yeah. And, you know, and it was just. It was literally like out of a movie. And I get there and things kind of progress, and I felt like, wow, this is really happening. This is really happening. I had never envisioned my labor ever being easy, and I couldn't believe that it actually was. And this is before I really got into visualization and recognizing the power of all these things. And I ended up having to have an emergency C section because things weren't progressing. And her heart rate was high, and I had a fever, and it was just kind of beginning to be a little tenuous. And so they brought me in, and within the first five minutes of Being laid down back onto the table, I realized that I couldn't breathe. And I was just. It was so surreal because everything was fine. I had been talking to the anesthesiologists and the doctors, and we had Jack Johnson playing, and everything was, like, light and airy and breezy. I was just waiting for Ben to come in. And all of a sudden, I realized that there's a bag valve mask over my face, and the anesthesiologist's hand is pumping this mask, and I can't. I cannot breathe. And I kind of, like, dipped in and out of consciousness. I remember literally whispering and saying to them, like, put me out. Please intubate me. Because I thought that at least that would save me, you know, if I was gonna. If I. If I couldn't breathe on my own, that I needed them to do it for me. And. And I went into the space where I literally blacked out, Lori. And I could not. It was like I was just. I was out of it. But I was really conscious in my mind, and I just felt this incredible wave of rage in my body and this anger and this frustration. And it was about the fact that here I am in this moment of moments of my life that I had been dreaming about my whole life. And now, all of a sudden, I'm literally thinking that this may be my last moment. And the words, but I have so much more to do here were blaring in my brain. They're blaring in my head. And in that moment, it was sort of like this synapse. It was just the second that I had this realization of there's so much more I want to do here. And it was like this deep desire, this yearning. I could feel my body. And I moved into this then the state of pure gratitude and love. And I thought of my parents, and I thought of my brother and my husband and all my loved ones and my family. And I felt this sort of blanket of just love and gratitude and release happen. And this moment in this acknowledgment that if this is really my last moment on this earth, I am grateful and I am love. And I. And I'm so grateful for that. And my daughter will have that, too. And it was literally like snap of the finger. And right as I was feeling that sensation of that overwhelming gratitude and love, I could breathe again. It was like. I came back.

Wow.

It was so powerful. And it was. You know, the anesthesiologist, like, he knew. Obviously, he was monitoring me, and he yelled at the surgeon and said, go, go, go, you know, go. And Ben missed Ani's birth because things were so scary in there. But he was there within five minutes of her being born. And it was like nothing happened because nobody, Ben didn't know, nobody knew. My parents didn't know that this all happened. But I left that operating room with this awareness of I knew, like, I knew, like I knew in my core that everything was different. And I had no idea how, but I just knew things were going to be different for the rest of my life from that moment. So, you know, it took about eight months. By the time I finally gave my notice, launched my business, Ani was eight months old. I had what I like to call my retirement party and I really believe that's what it was. And I gave a speech and I got to thank these people that I love so much that helped me build this career and helped me have the wings to fly, to go off and become an entrepreneur and have my own business as a mom and honor what was most important to me, which is one, being able to be present for my family and the people I love the most. And then also being able to be present, of course, for myself so that I could really lean into my gifts and explore them, discover them and share them with the world.

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Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that. So how. What happened when you came home? I mean, literally you feel like a completely different person. When did you start talking about it?

Great question. It took a while. Things were really intense. I physically wasn't okay. I actually had to go back to the hospital. We went home for a night and it was one of the worst nights of my life in terms of how much pain I was in. And so we went back to the hospital for a week. Anja was now a patient. I was. Or not a patient. I was the patient. She was just there and I mean it was so much so that we were in the operating the emergency room and she was outside with Ben because I didn't want to bring my 4 day old baby in there and I Was, you know, I was pumping in the ER and they're bringing milk out to her because I. That was the situation. And so I was readmitted, and it took a while for me to physically even really get on my feet and be able. Now I'm also taking care of a newborn. And I remember this one conversation that I had that was probably about two weeks prior to going back from maternity leave. And I was on for three and a half months because of my C section. So it went a little bit longer than the normal maternity leave did at my job. So I got a little extra time. And my friend Emily Ballard, who's this brilliant writer, we were childhood friends, and we were having this phone conversation, and she just said, I remember it like it was yesterday. And it just reverberated in my brain, and I was just crying and at a loss and just saying, em, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to go back, but I don't have another option right now. Feeling really desperate and. And just realizing that I was going to now be, you know, having to put my child in daycare, and that was just what I didn't want to be doing. And I really felt this call because I really wanted to be with her. And she just said, hey, Amber, you know what? This is your life. And she said it just like that. And it wasn't this, this is your life. It was this is your life. Like the magnificence, the brilliance that is every single one of our lives, the vast opportunity that has been given to us, the sacred gift. And I had never thought about my life like that before and just had it sort of. Everything just sort of collided in that moment. And I just said, you know what? You're right, it is. And I get to write the rules for how this thing is going to go from here on out. And so there were more sort of moments. December 31st of that year, I wrote a letter to myself saying, I'm so, so grateful. It was the sort of as if letter, you know, I'm so grateful for my successful business, and I'm so grateful for my career that helped me get here to this point. I'm so grateful to my mentors who have believed in me, you know, And I wrote this huge letter saying, like, we are. We're doing this, and I have this many clients. And it was so, so detailed and so specific. And the next year, because, you know, the next full year, I had been in business for about seven Months. By that time that I cracked that letter open, I was just, just bawling because it was so accurate. It's like everything I wrote in the letter was true and it had happened. Yeah. And so, and I did, I did an online course in March of that, that next year. So if you're looking at the timeline, it was like December 31st was the letter and then March I joined this course. And then May, April 22nd was the day I gave my notice. I had one client with my little fledgling business at the day that I gave my notice. And then by the time I left a month later, I had four clients. And honestly, I've built this entire business. As you know, my daughter, she's going to be three in August. In her nap times in the pockets of my day, I built a six figure business as a full time mom working from home.

I love hearing that because I think so many people feel like they have to quit first or have a savings or you know, have all this time dedicated. And I have to be really honest and I know that you're gonna, you'll speak to this as well. I think that when people don't have something pushing them or being forced to fit it in, that it does not happen. I've seen it happen so much where people will actually quit and be like, oh, the pressure will make me do it. And it does nothing. It actually makes you feel so lonely and so desperate that nothing happens and you have to end up going back to that job or that thing that you don't love. So what do you think that is?

Well, I think it's fear, of course. I think, you know, I think it wraps around to what we talk about all the time, which is about, really about value and self love. And I mean I had this, I've had the fire, right? And the people listening to this podcast have the fire, right? I mean, if you're taking the time out of your day to listen to these conversations, you have fire in your veins. It is a fact. And it's also recognizing that we don't have to strangle our how we don't have to suck all the life out of it. We have to allow it to unfurl and happen for us and we have to just be really present with ourselves on the journey and trust that, you know, if we put it out there into the universe, that it is going to be answered. It is going to come back around. But we just have to continue to take the steps. We can't bail out on ourselves. So that person that goes back, you know, that quits. And, like, that's a huge leap of faith. That is a huge nod to the universe saying, I'm all in. I'm doing this right? But then something. Then somehow it. The fear kind of becomes this tidal wave that overtakes them, and then they stop. You know, they stop with that momentum that got them to say, I'm gonna go for it right in the first place.

I love that. So for all the entrepreneurs out there, what are some things that you think, especially as you were building your business with your baby in the pockets of your day, what are some of the things that you can attribute your success to?

Yeah, it's showing up authentically. It's being real all the time, telling yourself the truth, even when, you know it's easier to try to fit into somebody else's formula. I think that people sniff out and see when you're being disingenuous and when you're just like, you know, you did a course and now you're just trying to replicate and use somebody else's model. You know, I think I was listening to our conversation, our podcast, and you were talking about relationships, and you were talking about how, you know, in your marriage, it's. We have to be whole in our marriages in the way that we show up. And I really believe that's the same in business. We have to come to our business as whole, especially if we want to serve people, especially as coaches, we have to show up as whole as we possibly can, understanding that we are always learning and we are always on the journey. We're on the journey forever. The journey doesn't end. And so I think that it's a matter of doing your work and simultaneously being where you are and sharing that with the people that you're ready to help and you're ready to serve, which, ironically, if I'm going to give you a little hint, because this makes it easier, it's always a former version of us. It's a former version of you that you are helping. So it's not rocket science. You don't have to recreate the wheel and learn things from scratch. I mean, there will be parts of it, right? The systems and all of the things that you got to learn, how to use the email newsletter systems and how to do your website and all those things. But. But I think in the way that you really want to serve and what you want to teach, you already know, it's already available to you. And your success story is, is the. The credibility and the impetus of what you need in order to serve the people before you.

Oh, my God, I so love that you just said that. Because I really believe people get so overwhelmed, caught up, they stop themselves when they start thinking about who their people are going to be, who's going to show up, who they're going to be serving. And it's like, we think, we look at our mentors, right? And somehow we think somehow one of our mentors or someone like them is going to be on our programs.

Right, Right.

That's not the person, if you're genuine, that's going to be showing up. It's the person who's. Who, just like you said, is the former version of yourself, who just wants to see someone who is like them, who is ahead of them, who's doing it, who's done it, what were the steps? What does it look like? So it just takes that intimidation factor out of it. Did that for you?

Yeah, absolutely. And I used the skills that I had and I just used what I had available to me. And my offerings have shifted a lot since I started. And now I'm doing what I love the most, only really. And I've gotten into that space and I think that the next point is just sticking with it and not quitting. Don't throw in the towel. Just keep going. And recognize that every client that you attract is literally a mirror of what you are energetically putting out into the universe. They are our greatest teachers. The people that come in. Especially if you have a doozy, right. If you have someone that you're like, oh, right, that's not a fit. That's not what I asked for. But actually it kind of is. And it's a lesson that you needed to learn. And so I look at everything as a blessing. I really do. That sounds super woo. But I do, because I just. That's how the universe works. It's universal law. And that's why I can trust so deeply, because my journey is unfolding with me and I'm not. I finally learned, you know, And I know that it's going to deepen and I feel like I'm in a good little spot right now with it. Laurie, you know how that happens? That I've really been like, leaning back and letting go and having that titanium trust and letting the universe answer and just allowing myself to create what it is that I wanted without freaking out and in interfering with it, just letting it happen.

Oh, my goodness, yes. So what's. I'm just over here like, amen, sister. And you know what? I want to dig in just a tiny bit. Because for the people who. I know that it doesn't matter where you are in business, sometimes it's truly what we focus on is really that person that we're manifesting. So when you said, you know, everybody is a blessing, everyone's a gift, even the people who are doozies, I absolutely, to my core, believe that as well. And I know for a long time I was focusing on, like, well, what if they don't think that I'm worth this price? Or what if they. You know, And a lot came up with me around money because I had such huge money issues. And of course, that's what shows up, right? People who are like, no, I can't believe this. I don't want to spend this. I don't want to. And, you know, it was maybe. Honestly, Amber, it was probably one person, but to me, it was, like, catastrophically. And of course, because that was my one fear, it was like, that's what came to me. And it was the most beautiful lesson ever. But I had to shift right after that. So I had to go into massive abundance and be like, wow, you really did bring this on yourself, because you were so focused on that that you couldn't see all the good, and you were just focused on one thing. So what do you have to go to when maybe you get one of those clients? What do you do?

I ask myself why first, Right? It's. It's okay. What. What am I needing to learn here? What am I needing to receive here? And then also because it. Because everything's really, like, an illusion. You know, at the end, it's all about perception. And perception, you know, this is like, we're gonna get, like, matrix here. Like, it's an illusion, right? It's everybody's perceptions. Everybody listening to this conversation is going to internalize it differently. And so I love that, because I just think that that just makes me recognize that, you know, everyone has. Has their own magic, and everyone has their own gifts. And it's like, I don't have to be the be all, end all to everything. I remember this one client said something to me, and I can really ring the bell around what you said about the money thing. And she said, I really love everything you're doing, but I feel like all I'm doing is just. I'm just contributing to your growth and not helping me with my own. And. And I was like, ooh. You know, that was like. Right. That was like a gut punch. And what that was was because I wasn't fully Embracing it, you know, like, so I was. I was sharing some information to prove about how, like, systems and things were working in my business, because I really like to be as honest and clear as I can because I want to help people take those stories and take that learning and then apply it in their business to really, you know, amp it up and turn up the volume on their abundance and their ability to receive and all the things that they're doing, too. And I think we have to tell the truth. I think trying to hide details and all of that, I don't think that serves anyone. And I like to really be as transparent as possible. But that came back to bite me a little bit in that way with just this particular individual. But I also know that some of this person's insecurities were some of my insecurities about raising my rates and really claiming my worth and my value in my coaching and saying, this is what I charge. Because here, you know, I don't even have to say because. But of course, you know, all of the lessons to get to this point, contribute to that value and all of the time spent and all of, you know, everything from, like, the sprints on the soccer fields by myself, kicking the ball alone as a teenager, all of those lessons and times, and all of that equals up to the value of who we are and how we serve. Now.

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Thank you. I mean seriously, just authentically sharing is, I think in a business is truly, honestly, it's the answer for me to everything. It gets me out of feeling. It gets me out of feeling like I'm trapped in my own prison. Because sometimes we can do that and it's just the stories in our head. It gets me out of those moments in the morning when I wake up and I'm like, I have nothing to say. This is how I'm feeling. I actually feel like, you know, I have all these questions running in my mind about questioning my worth. Honestly, I talk about these things because people need to hear them. They need to know that you're human and that attracts more of the same exact person that you're looking for, who those are the same problems that you want to handle. Right. So it's often. Well, not often, I would say always. The things that you went through that you want to work on with people. So Amber, what exactly do you do right now? Tell us all about your business.

Yeah, thanks. So I'm a transformational branding and business coach, which is sort of like a fancy title for literally, like, the life and soul work that I do underneath it all. And. And I joke around my clients after the first session, and they're like, oh, yeah, you use the branding and business stuff as the carrot. But then we dig so deeply into it because, as we know, right, people sign up for training programs because they want to lose weight, but it's not about the weight. It's about so much more. And it's the same thing with branding and business, right? These are just, like, strategies and technical things that need to be put into place. But the core of who we are and really sharing that authentically with the world is what makes us successful. And the abundance and all that stuff is going to be part of it. And the fun and the flow and the events that you want to do and all that magic, all the things that my clients say they want to do, that's already written. It's coming. But if we are denying ourselves the ability to be who we really are and show up in our truth, even when my live chat today was hop aboard the Hot Mess Express, it was like, here I am fitting it into nap time today, and this is real life behind the scenes of being an entrepreneur. This is what it looks like. It's hectic and crazy, and so I think that that is what everyone is after. And so I see into people. We talk about what your big vision is, we talk about what it is you really want, and then we take the inspired action steps to get there, while also slashing your blocks and all the things that are keeping you stuck in the background. And I have that superpower of just really holding you accountable for your stuff, but also lovingly honoring you right where you are and sharing with you. Let's really dig into the strategies that are going to help you be successful. Let's not try to copy Lori Harder. Lori Harder is amazing, but that's because Lori Harder does it her way, right? And we have to do it your way, because you are as magnificent as Lori Harder is. The world just doesn't know it yet because we got to get you out.

There, and everybody needs that. I think there's, you know, there's so many people, and this was me before. Before discovering what I was good at. What?

What.

Why do people like me? What do people come to me for? And you feel lost. You look at your mentors and you. And you compare, right? Because you don't realize that there are people like you out there or there are methods like this. And it's not. It doesn't just happen. You you think about it, you search for it. You do all different courses, you read books. It is such a process. So that is so exciting. I love, love, love what you do. And honestly, it's something I could use all of the time. But what. So when you were creating your business, how many different evolutions do you feel like you went through to get to where you finally were? Like, oh, my God, this is me. This is it. This is my voice. And I know that we're still going through it, but go ahead.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it never ends, right? But I mean, but it's just about. It's all about expansion. I think that's the goal and the gift. It's like, that's what life is. It's all about expansion and just getting. Just continuing to expand, expand, expand and learn more and get more comfortable with yourself. And really, really the beauty and the magnificence that is life, you know, and just settling into that, not living in an anxious and frantic state, because that. That's not good for anyone, right? Energetically, that is not good. And it's not good for your health and all of that. And so for me, I think my process is literally what I just said. Trying to get myself out of that anxious, frantic state and freaking out about making enough money and comparing myself to other people and just, you know, like, all of those things. What I like to call the entrepreneurial shell game, where we have the three shells on the table. And it's like, well, which. Which problem is it going to be today? You know, which one am I going to put all of my focus on today? When, you know, it's really not about anything that's under the shelves, and it's really about me and who I am and how I really want to show up. And so I was doing the full Monty, building people's websites, logos, graphics, helping them write their copy. I'm a professional photographer, which I'm not really doing anymore. I did everything. I was Cirque du Soleiling the. You know what, out of every skill that I have. And that was really about just wanting to prove that I was worthy. And to, you know, to these clients, like, please, please, I can do everything for you. Let me just package it up in a really affordable rate and I'll do everything for you and give you my soul, too. And clearly, you know, that that is exhausting, and that's not aligned. The one thing that I've done always through all of my work is this transformational coaching and taking people from this place of fear and indecision. And really not being able to see themselves to a place of self acceptance and expansion and the ability to then step into the creation of something that allows them to come home to themselves so they can come home to their families. Really, that is a really big important part to me in my work is helping people really come home to who they are. And as a result, this is where it goes deep. It's changing the course of history, it's changing the trajectory of people's lives. Because when we feel whole and we are able to live our truth and be who we really are, we are better parents, we are better partners, we are better friends, daughters, sons, brother, sister, etc. And I. And I just take that so seriously because the implications of that are societal. They are the big picture. And so I really believe that my work helps people, helps the world, because it helps people to be more whole and to be more empowered and on purpose. And it sets the example for their children, their children's children, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

So describe for people who maybe don't know what home base feels like to come home, what is that? What does it feel like?

It's that space when you get quiet and you go within and you just ask yourself, you know, what does my soul need right now? And a lot of times it's just because we're so traumatized. It's just. Just nothing. I just want to sit. I want to be quiet. I want to be in nature. I want. I just want to shut down the machine. I don't want to look at this. This phone anymore or scroll through anything or feel like I'm in competition. I just want to accept myself for who I really am. And then when you can get there, which is. Takes some time for people, right? It takes some time to really get there because it's like, we feel like we're not supposed to do that. We're supposed to stay distracted and moving. But once you get into that real, that pocket of the quiet, it's then what are you curious about? You know, you have a free day. What do you spend your time doing? What lights you up? Do you paint? Do you read? Do you watch Super Soul Sunday? Do you go for a run? Do you hike a mountain? Like, what is that? And then in those places, which I know to be true for all of us, that's when further light bulbs go off. That's where the ideas happen and the alignment comes into focus. And then you get a little. A little inkling, you get a little idea and it's like that's all you need. It's just like a little piece of the thread and you can just kind of start slowly pulling it and following it. It's like that golden thread that goes through your. It's through your core. And you just follow that golden thread as it leads you to, to. Leads you down the path of your life. Yes.

Oh my gosh. And, and so I, I still go through this. Like, I'm so excited. I'm stuttering. And, and, and because sometimes we just, we really do say, you know, we should to death. Like I should myself to death all the time. I should be doing this. I should be over here. I know I have this to do. I know I have that to do. And I know when I'm off and I'm just not feeling inspired, I don't know where to go at this point. Maybe some of my projects are starting to feel really dull. And that's the space where finally I'm coming to this place where, just like you said, I need to create some space. I need to. I need nothingness. I need some quiet. And not to have expectation around the nothingness and the quiet, because I did that for a long time too, where I'd sit in quiet and I'd create space and I'd be like, okay, magic. All right, God. Okay, I'm ready.

Deliver, Deliver. Right.

Nothing comes and it's just. If you don't allow that space and enjoy it and just be with nature, be with the gifts, be with God, be with whatever you're with. I mean, that is the magic. And a lot of times it takes time for things to come through, but you can start to hear that whisper. So what do you feel like when you're off? I mean, I know what I feel like. I feel like a temper, like a three year old is having a temper tantrum inside of my body. And that's how I know it's time to create that space. How do you feel?

Yeah, same, like rage, you know, and that's such a weird emotion to feel that. But that's when my daughter's having a temper tantrum.

That's.

She's pure, pure rage, right? And so I feel that, that same sensation and then I just feel really tired and just like I can't push any harder. And in the past I would just push, but now I just know that that is. It's the scream for help and it's the please just stop. And so when I feel that, you know, I said this to a friend today when I feel like I have. I'm saying to myself, I have so much to do, so much work to do. I have so much, you know, that I literally stop on the dime and do the complete opposite of that now, which is weird. But I will tell you that instead of just like slamming myself into my office and trying to get through the emails and all, that, I literally go do something. I go on the paddle board, or I go watch a movie with my daughter or play hide and seek with her or something, and just choose totally differently to show my. That this is all a creation. Stress, as Byron Katie says, is an alarm clock in our bodies. And so that alarm clock is asking for me to disengage from all the things that are making me even more stressed out and to realize that, especially as an entrepreneur, that this is not curing cancer. It's just not. And I think we do ourselves a disservice when we act like it is. And then also we model that for our clients because that just perpetuates the cycle. That is not necessary.

And nothing, I always say to myself, nothing matters. I mean, nothing at the end of the day matters. You know, I have so many people in my life right now whose parents or whose friends are terminally ill or who have passed recently, and it just. It just snaps it into perspective. And I'm like, wow, nothing actually matters. This deadline, like, it's my own stress that I. That I'm putting on myself. I could actually cancel something like today. I literally looked at myself schedule and I was super stressed out because I'm leaving again. And I thought, this is something that I can actually take care of right now. Like, I can call and push this off and I can move this, and this is all good. And all of a sudden I'm like, wow, this was not my stressful at all. So it's a step back.

Go ahead. Yeah. And when you're. And when you're honoring yourself, Lori, you know, and I know it took you a while to get to that place, to be able to do that and not feel guilty or bad, but. But guilt is just. It's the complete opposite, opposite of presence. And it just. It's not even. It's not necessary in any realm of human existence. Animals do not feel guilty, right? They do not feel guilty. We don't need to feel guilty. That's just a creation. And if. And this is like my disclaimer for that. If you are showing up in your truth and you are leading with love always, and you are doing your very best in all the endeavors that you have to really come from that place of service and love and truth, what do you have to feel guilty about?

That literally just something popped in my head and I need to write an email just to say, hey, I've taken on too much. But really that's all that it is. And we're just feeling that stress. We can carry stress over something that could actually be a one minute email. And we carry that for two, three days, maybe weeks, maybe months. Right.

What does that do to your body? What changes your body chemistry and it changes the way you interact with the people you love.

Yes. Which is no bueno. So tell me what you are most excited about right now.

Oh, you know, I'm just most excited about my life. And I know it sounds probably cliche, but just that that is my authentic answer. Feels amazing to me and that I am fully here. You know, one of my most favorite quotes and focuses, that's a word in my life is being where my feet are with myself and with everyone else. And I think when you're. When you're a parent and you have this little being that is growing at a rapid pace right next to you all the time, you know, you can just watch. You just watch life happen. And. And to see her getting so big and learning and expanding and creating her own identity and all that, it's like I've never been more present in my life than ever before. And I really have. I really try hard to make sure that my business allows for that as much as possible. I definitely go into the dips and the bumps and the places where I'm total spaz, reaching out to my friends saying, please help me. But I think that's it. That is my goal. I mean, that really is my goal. So that's so that we have our money in a situation where we are grateful for it. And it is in flow state and it's an abundant state. I am showing up in my business authentically. It's just this real beautiful balance across the board.

That is my favorite answer because I truly, Amber, I know that you mean it and I feel the exact same way. And that just makes me so happy that we're both in that spot. Just waking up every day is exciting to me. And that. That takes work though. So when people are listening and they're like, what are you talking about?

Yeah, it does.

I choose it.

But you, you know, I like put on. I put on a song. I put on the Justin Timberlake song, right? And I dance in my room in my Underwear, like, get the visual that one, guys. You know, like, I'm dancing around my room and changing my physical state and just getting into this place of joy and recognizing that I have this little person downstairs that's gonna go, mama. And every day she wakes up, she's happy, Lori. She's happy because she doesn't know any differently. She doesn't have any reason to not be. And so neither do we if we choose it.

Amen. So, okay, I want to hear about, just Real quick, your Mrs. New Hampshire. I can't even believe. I'm so excited for you. I know some people, like, you're probably like, oh, it was on my bucket for me. This is exciting. Tell me all about it.

Yeah, it is so exciting. And it's such an honor. So, Yeah, I won Mrs. New Hampshire America pageant here. It was sort of like a friend just said, you know, you're doing it. And I said, okay, let's go for it. And she just hooked me up. I've had so much love and support in the process, and I think the experience was so cool because I promised myself. I made a vow to myself on that day, especially being someone who did fitness competitions in earlier time in my life, and. And it didn't go well for me. I was energetically. I was a mess, and I felt terrible about myself. I showed up on the day of and thought, I'm the fattest girl in the room. I just was so mean to myself. And I promised myself that in this. If I was gonna do this, if I was gonna get up on stage and be judged for my physical appearance again. Right. The thing I like about the pageant is that I actually do get to speak, and I do get to connect, and I got to really connect with such amazing women who were on that stage with me. And it just felt really beautiful. But. But it was that I'm not abandoning myself, and I am gonna be me all the way through, no matter what. I'm gonna have fun with this. I'm not gonna take myself too seriously, and I'm just gonna rock it out. I'm gonna, like, Danielle laporte says, show up, shine, let it go. And as the moments were happening, I literally, you know, the two other finalists were called, and then. And I didn't even react. Like, I didn't have a moment, Lori. And you know how big this is of going, oh, no, they're not gonna call my name. I never did that. I just was right there. And then all of a sudden, it was like, second slow. And then it was My name, it was like, holy moly. You know, and then just fast forward, and there I'm standing with the crown and my little girl and my husband and, you know, and now I'm going to Las Vegas, the end of August for Mrs. America, and it's a whirlwind, but I'm gonna get to meet all these amazing women. And I just see it as such. I'm excited about it, and it's the only way I'm gonna approach this thing. And I'll just wrap that even further around. The big picture of my life is that's the only way I want to approach anything is from that place of presence and love.

Yes. And you and I were talking about this because, you know, we've both done different things like this, and it really. You won because you had fun, and because people feel that people energetically feel what you are feeling, they pick up on it. They want a piece of whatever you're having. If you're having fun and you feel like. Like, you know, you just feel confident, and people recognize that. And because you went in with no expectations, and it was a totally different place in your life, It's a beautiful thing, and it's so fun, and it's so enjoyable. So, Amber, I'm super excited for you. So before we wrap up, I just want to make sure everybody can find you, follow you, all that good stuff, because you have so many amazing things to offer. So where can we find you?

You can find me over@amberlyashtrom.com. that's my website. And then on all social media, it's the same. So my. Just my name. And then my podcast is the Soul Field CEO, as Lori said earlier.

Okay, so before my very last question, I want to. Oh, Amber, I totally forgot what I was going to say.

It's okay.

I'm going to. I'm going to edit that part out. So hold on one second. Oh, yeah. Okay, so. Wow. We got this far, and really, I got to the very end and I.

Have to edit it.

It's all good. You're all good. Okay, so, Amber, before my last question, I just really want to acknowledge you and thank you for coming on.

Thank you so much. This is just so, so much fun. And I just. I love you so much, Laurie. You're amazing.

I always love our conversations. So, okay, my last question. If you have 30 seconds in an elevator with someone and they look over at you and say, amber, how do I make myself happy? What would you answer?

Okay, hold on one second. Let me just go there.

Okay.

I would say you just need to be who you are.

I love that and it's so perfect. Thank you so much for coming on Amber. And you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it, tweet it, and until next time, earn your happy happy everyone. Bye Bye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to I tunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.