552. Words for your soul - with Arielle Estoria

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I wholeheartedly believe that art is powerful and that you don't need to be an artist and or creative in order to experience it and experience the healing power of it.

Welcome to the Earn youn Happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey everyone.

I'm so excited for today's guest. We have Ariel Astoria on the podcast. She is an amazing spoken word poet. You guys know that I am obsessed with spoken word. She's an author, a dance party enthusiast and emcee. She's an awesome event host, a speaker, a model, an actress. Her motto of words not for the ears but for the soul stems from her dedication to remind her audience that words are meant to be felt and not just heard. Arielle's first ep, a collection of music and poetry called Symphony of a Lioness is now available on itunes or Apple Music. She's the co author of two self published collections of poetry, Vagabonds and Zealots and write Bloody spill pretty in 2017. They can both be found on Amazon.com, she's made of sass, good intentions and has a deep love for car, karaoke. Me too, brunch and flowers. This girl is totally speaking my language. You guys are going to love everything she has to say and the poem that she shares on here. So you guys get ready. This was such a soul filling, amazing, nurturing conversation for me and I know it's going to be for you as well.

Arielle, I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. Yay.

I.

Okay, number one, I fell in love with you just a second ago for telling me how to actually pronounce your name. And that's how. That's how Sebastian says it. So.

Yes. Yes.

I don't know about you.

Every time.

The hardest decision growing up was like, who was going to be Ariel when you were playing make believe in the lake Ocean.

And I just kind of got. I just won every time because I was like, you literally won. Take my name from me. I'm sorry, you can't.

You won the Disney princess.

Love. So, yes.

Oh, all right. Well, I feel like I've known you for a while just because I followed you for a while. And I love creative people, people who are now, I believe everybody's creative, but I love people who are bold enough and brave enough to put themselves out in the world in the way that I think, you know, poets, authors, artists, creatives do. Because it's really like exposing a part of your soul that I think a lot of people keep hidden. So for you, what was that like? How did you know that that part needed to be exposed?

Yeah, well, for me, it was really. I have always been creative. I don't know how not to be. And so I knew there was this very innate part of me that no matter what, quote, unquote, practical thing I tried to do or tried to get myself involved in, I always came back to, but how could I make it creative? But how could I make it beautiful? But how can I kind of not cheat the system, but kind of just like tweak it a little bit? And so even for me, I went to an arts high school for 10th grade until 12th grade. And so I transferred midway. And so half of my school was split. I did academics from 8 to 12, lunch from 12 to 1, and then I was in school like a college student until 4:30 or 5, but working on my emphasis, which was theater at the time. And so I loved that balance of the practical, if you will, but then also the creative and the artistic. And I took that with me into college thinking that I wanted to do theater and psychology so that I could do art therapy for kids. And now I kind of say I do art therapy for, like, humans. So it's kind of fun. But I always kept trying to find ways to do the creative thing, have a structured skeleton, if you will, to something, but then also being able to, like, weave glitter in between there. I'm a left and a Right. Brain, creative. And so I like structure. Like, even in this madness that we're experiencing right now, I still have a remote social media job, you know, that is structured. They tell me the things to post, you know, and to write. And it's still creative. I still have a freedom in it. But I also know I will be getting paid on Friday. Like, I also know that I have events to show up to and when to show up. And so I love. I still love structure, I still love organization, but I also love the fluidity that creativity and that and artistry kind of brings about. So I've always very much so been both of those people.

I love that and I truly. So I feel very much like a creative, but without my frame, I just feel like this run on blob of a painting that doesn't have anywhere to go. I totally learned that when my husband and I did ballroom dancing. And it was like as much as his frame drove me crazy because we were learning together. And I was just like, you're doing it wrong. Like, without him, I couldn't really flow in the dance and I couldn't be held to be free to, like, do what I wanted to do. So I love that you talk about that because I think it's so important, especially for creatives. There's so much I want to dive into with what you just said, but I'd love for you just to elaborate on the importance of creating structure for your creativity or. I don't think it comes out right.

Yeah, well, so much of it is like one. A lot of times, especially with artists and creatives, when they think of structure or organization, it automatically sounds super limiting. Right. So the first thing is to. Is to take that context out. It's not limiting. In fact, it could be an expanding part of your art. If you give it a pool in which to swim in, if you give it a space, space in which to exist, the potential to go outside of that space is even more greater. And so I think for me, it's like I like cleaning my apartment. I like having rhythms, I like waking up, working out. I like things that are structured and organized because I feel like because of those things, I can be more creative. I can be more fluid within this. Which is why I say instead of a structure or organization, it truly is a skeleton of something. If you think of how we ourselves are made and designed, we are first and foremost a skeleton. And then we were skin and then our bones and then flesh and all those things and lungs. And so for me, it's Like I'm adding more to the tapestry by first having that skeleton there of structure, of organization, of consistent rhythms. And I do that a lot of times because the process of writing for me is really not a process. It's a lot like what you said of being a blob, a painting that kind of overlaps. It's very fluid. It's very like right now I need to stop talking to you because like I need to write this down on my notebook. Or it's like right now like in yoga. And it's just like laying there and I just, it's like this influx of just word after word. And I sometimes will leave class because I'll lose it if I don't. And so it's a very. That process itself is not structured, it is not organized. Which is why I think I twofold create these other rhythms for myself where I can allow myself to be fluid within that. And so the first thing is to take away the limitation aspect of it and instead use it as an expansion. Like you're setting yourself up to go beyond limits almost by giving yourself that permission to stay consistent. And that's really what it is. It's consistency. That's what structure and organization is. It's this consistency, habitual rhythm. And that's what our creativity should be anyway, is consistent and habitual. So much so it is the same. Writing a poem feels almost the same as it does for breathing to me. I don't think about it. I know that I am capable of doing it. And when I need to really tap into it, I do so. And so I think that is something that for me, because I'm an oldest child and I just kind of grew up with very much so like wait, enneagram3wings. I can't help but not have the okay, there's no organization here. How do we create it? And then how do we have fun? And how do we embrace the fluidity of that?

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Okay, so I want to go a little deeper on that because I think for so many people, you know, we, we run a lot of different masterminds where we get to work with a lot of either, you know, more beginning entrepreneurs or elite level entrepreneurs. And I'm telling you, this is still the thing that people struggle with is how do I create structure within something that I feel I need to Be inspired for and needs to feel very free. And I do. Just like you said. That actually was just like, I feel like we could just end the podcast there, because that was so powerful. Like, I do feel like giving it a container, although it feels in the beginning, like, very constraining. It's like pure freedom if you keep showing up for it. And just like you said something else, I just real quick want you to hit on is like, you know, even with your poems, like, I know that you had said, you know, even one word can kind of give you that, like, outline and skeleton to follow. But without it, it's almost like art is connected to everything and creativity is connected to everything. So if you don't give yourself boundaries or a container, it's almost too immense. Right?

And then that is when we become distracted, and that is when we bounce from project to project. Like, I was just talking about this with someone the other day, about how when I clean my house, if I. If I don't go at it with a plan or with a structure, then I will bounce in every single room. And then what I picked up in one room, I'll bring with me in another room, and then I'll go into another room trying to clean that, and then I will be like, oh, wait, didn't I just. I was supposed to bring something here and I forgot it in the other room. And then I'll just, I'll do that loop until I have to realize this is not productive whatsoever. You're not actually cleaning anything. In fact, I think you're making a bigger mess for yourself. And so I think applying that, like, I. I'm going to go back into this one room, and I'm going to work on my office. I'm going to clean my desk, and I'm going to put stuff back on the bookshelf, and I'm going to clean the fact that my second bedroom is also. It's my office, it's where I shoot. So I'm going to. I'm going to get things settled. I'm going to put stuff back on the walls, and then I'm going to go in my bedroom, I'm going to make my bed, I'm going to light my candle. So you allow yourself within that structure to do the intent of that space, and then you're able. Like, once my house is clean, I create. Like, the candle is lit, the essential oils are diffusing, and I am, like, ready. Like, I've set up a space where my mind. Because our bodies and our spaces reflect Our minds a lot of time. And I know I've had a chaotic week because my house looks chaotic. So I go in that space and I clean that space, I straighten up that space. Then I am clearing out the space in my brain and in my heart to sit back on. Okay, what did I take in this week? What did I bring with me from room to room? And what room do I need to put it in so that I could sit with it and work with it and create something from it? And so that's like a really big visual for me is just being able to like, okay, sit in this room and do what needs to happen in this room, create what needs to happen with this project, and then go to the next project. And that way we're not sitting there with these half pieces of unfinished things and then we feel like a failure, you know, and it's not that we failed anything we just didn't finish. And so coming back to that space of like, finish something and it doesn't have to be something you put out. It doesn't have to be something that you're. That you're super duper proud of necessarily, but just in the sense that you completed that project and you never know when it could come back up. That's the biggest beautiful part of creativity. It's so recyclable. It could be so present and prominent for one moment, but not necessarily the moment you created it in. And you won't know that if it. If it's hiding under your bed in your office because you're looking for it in your bedroom, you know.

Wow, I love that. It was so visual. So thank you for that. I was like cleaning your house with you and I was wondering what candles you were lighting. I do the same exact thing. It is creepy how much you just explained, like exactly what I do. And also just like the. I just did a podcast last week on the chaos of your house, like matches chaos of your brain. So I love that you just said that.

That's amazing.

Okay, so what is something that you feel? Because I do believe that if people would just create or express that a lot of what we're just dealing with, even in our lives, with stress, with mental health, with actual physical health, what is. I think a lot of it could be helped just through expressing or putting our art out there. So what do you think is one thing that people could do that would immediately make themselves feel better every day about their self worth and their value to themselves?

Yeah, I just had a girl DM me asking, you know, what are practical steps for self love, but even more so just to kind of paint the picture for you. I wholeheartedly believe that art is healing. I wholeheartedly believe that art is powerful and that you don't need to be an artist and or creative in order to experience it and experience the healing power of it. Just the fact that we are human beings surrounded by music, surrounded by stories, surrounded by paintings. We are immersed ourselves in art and creativity because there's some part of it that relates to just the sheer humanness of who we are. And I've seen that because I used to teach poetry as a teaching artist and I was working with incarcerated teens. And you think about the anger and the heaviness that these teenagers carry because one, they never really got to be kids. Two, they don't feel like they're enough and their failures are a result of that or their quote unquote mistakes are a result in that. So when you get into a room and you tell a teenager to write a poem about their heart being a planet and what they would find on it, and they look at you like, I don't, I don't have a heart, or my heart's just black, or there is nothing on the planet. And it starts to tell you where their heart is twofold. We have so many creative wounds as adults because we've shut down the concept that it's not practical, that it's not real, that it doesn't make sense. So we've almost hindered ourselves from being able to naturally tap into that healing experience. Anyone can pick up a penalty, write something down to paper. And gratitude lists are huge parts of that. And that could be a twofold of like, practical things. I'm grateful for my house, for the food, for my toilet paper. I'm grateful then for my hands that they can hold people. I'm grateful for my feet, that they can go somewhere. And really just using these grounding gratitude practices and that bring us back to really, really simple things and really beautiful things, that it's a beautiful thing that we could have feet that can take us somewhere. It's a beautiful thing that we have hands that can hold someone or be held by someone and so utilizing those things. And then lastly, the concept of the artist's way. It's this book and this curriculum almost. And she starts the book out with writing morning pages and it's three pages of stream of conscious. Like before your feet even hit the ground, before you pick up Instagram, you grab a notebook. And I used to be really good at this. I probably should get back into it. Plenty of time, too. And keeping a journal or something by your bed. And literally just, I had a weird dream or. Man, I can't really leave my house today, but can I go for a walk? I think my body needs to go for a walk, you know, and it's just these random things. And I've written so many poems from my morning pages because I'm sifting through chaos in my head and in my everyday life in order to find creativity. And that's usually where artists are birthed, is out of chaos, out of disorientedness, out of grief, out of sadness, because we have something to say about those things. And so I think that is like a beautiful practice of just like pen to paper. There's something so simple about it and also so powerful about it. Of just writing things out, calling things what they are, calling out beautiful things. And also putting to bed the tree that you don't need to carry.

Oh, my God, that's so good. And by the way, it's one of my favorite books.

I love it.

I read it before I wrote my book, so that was really helpful. Along with Steven Pressfield's the War. Yeah, the War of Art. Have you read that one yet? Okay, well, you have.

Adding it to my list.

It is so good. It talks about the resistance before creativity, so I just loved a second of it.

War of Art. Is that what it is?

Yes.

Don't get the Art of War. Get the War of Art. Because that is also a book.

Really? Oh, my gosh, that's funny. I love it.

So what you just reminded me of. And let's speak to this for a minute because there are people listening who maybe don't feel like they're creative. And I have to tell you that I used to feel that way. I was like, okay, I was homeschooled through high school. I didn't do dance. I didn't do, like, I wasn't in even classes for anything. I didn't think I could write. I just felt very vanilla. Like I was just like, I'm just someone who doesn't do anything. Like, I watch tv. And that's just how I felt about myself. And I will tell you that my self worth was also very low because I believed I wasn't, you know, creative. And what ended up happening is later on I started. I started just getting, like you said, being consistent and disciplined around these, like, containers. Like, could I write? Could I do this? And I've learned that when you keep. Keep showing up consistently for art. Art will show up for you. And I think that you tap into something. I think we all have the ability, just like we can decide to say a prayer and connect to God or universe or whatever that is. I believe that you can connect to your creative like a higher whatever this is, that's creative.

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Can you tell me about like, what, what that was for you? Because I know that you had to at some point, like you said, you know, you just grew up feeling like a creative, but that had to be nurtured somehow. That had to be somehow discovered. That had to be a moment where you were like, whoa, this just happened. Like what made you discover it and what made you realize you wanted to nurture it?

Yeah, well, for me it's like, I mean as a kid I naturally, like when I say this was me, I mean I would make up songs, plays, things like that.

Like as a kid, was that like.

Yeah, well they didn't not nurture it. I think what it is was they created a space for it and I Expanded the space.

You're like, let me push these lines.

Yeah, just like, as a kid, most of our videos, you know, our home videos, you can hear I had a. I mean, I still have a pretty, like, deep, raspy voice, but as a kid, I, like, really had a deep, raspy voice. And you could just hear me in the background, like, daddy, the camera. Daddy, look at me. Daddy, over here. You know? And then, like, twofold, it would be, like, me full on camera, boa, clicky plastic shoes, like little plastic microphones. And I would come out, and my aunt likes to talk about all the time how I had an alter ego. Her name was Erica Wallace. And I told myself that. And she came out and she sang songs and she performed, and she went to any elevated platform that I could find in the house that I was in, or walking down the stairs really dramatically. Like, so when I say this was, like, in me, it was like in. It was in me. And so it started there. My parents, you know, they didn't tell me, you know, stop being silly or, what are you doing? It was very much so. That's Ari. You know, like, that's just. That's Arielle, you know, And. And then as I got older, I still would sing, I still would write things, and I'd doodle things in my notebooks. But I still went to regular schools. I did academics and things like that, tried to play basketball. That was a fun time. And then in seventh grade, I actually. For my history class, our teacher, who I really. In my head, she's very much this Ms. Frizzle woman that I have. And she. For our history project, we got to perform a Shakespeare play. And so we performed this Shakespeare play for our history project, and I got to play Helena Part two. And it was the best thing ever, because Demetrius was my crush at the time. And so we got to lay in a fake garden, and I got to stare in his eyes, and it was wonderful. And so I didn't know this until much later, but my teacher had gone to my mom, and she was like, this was just like an assignment, and most of the kids did it, but, like, there's something in her that you have to foster. You have to put her in the arts. And so it was that beckoning from my teacher where my mom was like, oh, okay, well, then let's explore that more. And then shortly after that, we met this girl and her mom, and she was attending the art school that I ended up going to. And so that next semester, I auditioned with a monologue I found online And I got in, and I was in a play within my first three weeks of being there. And it just continued from there. And so they definitely created space, you know, for it to happen. And my parents are in ministry, so they're already not in the practical thing anyway, so it wasn't really like they could tell me not to. And so I kind of was set up to, like, pursue the crazy thing, you know, and be okay with pursuing the crazy thing, partially because a huge part of who you are more so than it is what you're doing. And so I took that. I graduated from my school. I did plays, I did monologues, and then I started to do more poetry a little later on. But I had always written throughout that whole process. So I was writing monologues, I was writing short plays, I was writing scenes. And then I was starting to write more poetry, but still in the perspective of these characters that I had the ability to step into and become almost. And then that turned into college, and I was like, okay, now's the real. The real deal. This is when you do the real things. So I was like, I love theater and I love storytelling, but I know that's not what it's going to be at the end of the day. So I need to add psychology too, because I want to learn about. And I knew that whatever capacity I worked in, that I was going to be dealing with people, and I wanted to learn psychology so that I can understand people better, so I could love people better. And so I went into that. I double majored in a bunch of different things. Eventually, I dropped theater altogether because I was like, this is not what I'm gonna do. I don't need this applause. Like, I'm not competitive. And all of these other students, this is their life. Theirs is their life. And I don't want to take that from them almost. So I'm gonna just hand it over and walk away. So I finished my degree in psych with what looked like an emphasis in theater. And then right after canceling is when PO came into the picture. And it was this really wrestling moment where I was like, no, I'm not, quote, unquote, supposed to be on stage. Why do I keep finding myself here then if that's not the case? And so I sat with poetry a little bit more because it was my own story. It was my own vulnerability, it was my own ability to step into my shoes and to be authentic with my story. And then that kind of trickled into a competitive poetry team for two years and then leading the poetry club. And so it's almost like when you said, my friend says, your art makes space for you. And I kind of interpret that, like, when you say, yes, the universe or for me, God says, finally, you're able to sit into what I have for you now. And that was to be an artist. And it wasn't just to do art, but to be an artist and to embody that. And I ran from it up until my senior year. And then it was just kind of like, okay, let's take a year and figure this out. And so I've been freelance as a poet, speaker, model for the past five years now. And it definitely wasn't the plan. I'm not an entrepreneur. I'm not very innovative. I just kind of am like, this feels right. Let's do that. Or that felt right. Let's say yes. And that's really just how things have unfolded as they are. But I ran from it, and then I couldn't anymore because it ultimately turned into me running from who I was.

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Thank you for sharing that. And I think there might be a lot of people listening who are like, okay, I think I might have all of these, you know, because you just named a lot of very different things that you like to do that you're capable of doing that you explored that, you went there, you know, because you could have ignored a lot of the things that you had just said. You could have ignored a lot of those nudges. And I think, you know, for people listening, they might be like, well, how do I piece together a life like that? Like, you have so many pieces, so what are some ways that you. Because, you know, there can be. For a lot of artists or people who are thinking of exploring it, they can feel very uncertain. So how do you piece together a life that feels like, yeah, this feels good for me?

Well, first and foremost, know that in the uncertainty it can still feel good and vice versa. I don't ever feel super stable. That's just not.

Do any of us, like, you know what I mean?

Yeah, what does that even mean? And so it's funny right now to think about a lot of people and things that are shutting down and shifting. I was like, I kind of love that I can still be like, I'm an artist, but no one is safe, no job is safe, like you would think. Obviously, a lot of my work was the first to kind of get postponed or canceled or whatever. But at the same time, we all wound up kind of in the same alert boat and it was like, okay, all right, this is a cool moment for full time artists. Because I'm kind of in the same place as people who do go into work right now, you know. And so that was like a really cool moment to be like, none of us are really stable. So now that going into this, you can't go into it seeking stability because that will get pulled from underneath you like a rug really quick every time in a different season. The thing though is I say that I feel like a human tornado about 99.9% of the time. And then that 1% is like, haha, I got it. And then everything changes all over again in a second and you're like, all right, I'm back to the tornado part. But I don't know if I could live anything but this right now. I didn't go into any type of full time job. I mean, right after college. And I think that was on purpose because if I had, I would have never left. Because that left part of my brain would sit there and be like, what do you mean we're leaving our benefits? And every two weeks. No, no, no, no, no. And my right brain would be like, know what, you're right, we can still write and create here, you know. And so I wasn't, I wasn't ever given the permission or the space to be comfortable and to stay there. I was thrown into it in the best possible way. And my first year I worked six jobs. I was working for a startup company in their house, I was working for Jamba Juice, I was babysitting, I was dropping errands and running errands for people who just venmoed me $30 for gas. I was just whatever I could grab. And then I worked for a poet for a short amount of time. And that ended in a lot of legal things, a lot of really messy, a lot of grieving things because I thought, she has it all together, she has it, she's figured it out and she hadn't. And being under her, I learned a lot about who I didn't want to be and how I didn't want to orchestrate myself. And then I had to reorient all over again. So then we're back to five jobs. And it really only is in this last year that I've been able to narrow it down to just two consistent things. And for me it doesn't feel like a lot, I think because of that first part of my journey, having so many different things. But what those did was create a web. Because at the startup company I was running their social media, I was learning about hashtags, I was Learning how to create flat lace so that my best friend could go around and photograph them. I was hiring models and styling them. And I was learning, not knowing at that time. I was learning exactly what I would be doing for myself two, three years later. Me knowing about photography and me knowing about lighting was so that I could then have more information when I came to directing and creating my own content. Me meeting the people that I met during my time working for that poet was so that I could know who to stay away from. I could know how to negotiate for myself. I could know how to pitch myself and how to own my art. And so there was all these different things, moments that I realized, oh, this is all coming together, and you can't see my hands right now, but I'm interlacing both my palms. Because what it did was create this web underneath me that I could then bounce off of, that my work and my art can then be propelled off of. And so it may seem random, but it's not. It may seem all over the place, and it is. But at the same time, those little pieces, if you will, are just kind of coming together in order to create this really beautiful web underneath you to launch off of whatever it is you're trying to launch. And in the moment, it may not make the most sense, but later you'll be like, ah, I see it now. You know, I see it now.

I love that. It reminds me of that Steve Jobs quote. You can't connect the dots looking forward. It's only backward. Like, you just truly. Like, when you're in it, you're just like, this is not what I want to be doing. This is so stupid or horrible or, oh, my God, but you are so right. Like, everything good that I've learned is like. Like, oh, okay, that was. Let's extract that now. So sometimes you can't extract it while you're in it, but you'll be able to get something freaking amazing from it later on.

Yes.

Okay, so there are, like, I'm writing down these different directions that I want to go and ask you questions because you have so many just interesting things about you. Number number one, my alter ego needed to meet yours when she was little because my. Mine was Becky Liebs and she was a secretary and she needed some Erica Wallace in her life. So, yes, I love the most boring. Like, but I was always Becky leaves, and I was always someone's secretary, so that's so fun.

Yeah.

Clearly, I needed to meet Erica, so I'm glad we're meeting now.

Next.

I want to know, how do you teach poetry? Like, how do you go into these places and teach poetry? What are some things that you could teach us right now?

Okay, so I usually always. I mean, first and foremost, I always do the prompts with my students, and I always share with my students because I can't expect them to show up, be vulnerable, be open, and not do the same. So I have, like, lots and lots of prompts that I lesson plan around. I also know that because of my psychology background, I know that most likely within a school context and especially within a teenage contents, there's going to be auditory learners, kinesthetic learners, and visual learners. So I'm gonna try to create lesson plans that interlace all of those things for them to see, for them to do with their own hands, and then maybe for them to move and embody it themselves. So I will start with doing actual physical movements. I'll have them shake out their hands. So like, five, four, three, two, one. Five, four, three, two, 1. And then their legs. Five, four, three, 2. I'll have them shake out. I'll have them breathe. I'll have them yell sometimes, depending on the context I'm in. And then I have them sit down and I have them do a page of stream of conscious. Just write whatever it is that's in your head right now, Your dream, the last fight you had with someone, the last conversation you had, this me, why I'm yelling at you right now, why I'm telling you to do this, write down whatever, and then we'll go into your prompt. And prompts could be anything around what we're watching. So there's lots of beautiful spoken word out there. And one of my favorites to show is Sarah K's TED Talk. And she talks about the origin of spoken word. She talks about the origin of poetry. So it's a little bit of a lesson, but it's also her doing poetry as well. And so I'll lace that into it. And as a teaching artist, a lot of times that the organizations I'm working for, they have their own curriculums. I didn't really follow them, but I did piece parts of it because there were themes that were super beneficial. So some of the things were about, like, friendships. Some of the things were about what is. What does it mean to be a father? What does it mean to leave a legacy? You know? And so I'll listen to. I'll let them listen to a Hamilton song, and I'll ask them, what does a legacy mean? What does that look like to you? Do you feel like you, you're leaving a legacy. Are you leaving one now? If so, what is it? Do you want to leave one? If so, what will it be? And navigating through that. So prompts are like my favorite. So a great one is if you could tell anything to the world right now in a five minute speech, what would it be and why? Like, if you had the opportunity to stand on a platform and say whatever you wanted to the whole world, what would you say in those five minutes? And I allow the permission to have whatever form they want to have. So it doesn't have to be like a poem, how I'll write it and I'll show them how I write my own poems, which are usually pretty, pretty short stanzas and linear. Some of them are very long paragraph writers. Some of them are more story based, some of them are more rap, which is really cool too. And in some settings will record it if they're excited about it, if they're proud of it. And so the last company I worked with, they gave me recording equipment that we could record what they created in class. And so a prompt like that, especially like, you know, having the opportunity to say something to the world, I think we always kind of wish to some capacity at one point in time that we could have the opportunity to do that. And if so, what would be saying and then twofold, even now, okay, what are we saying? And then how does that relate back to the legacy that we're trying to leave and the legacy we're trying to live? And is a legacy something that happens while we're living or after we're living? And what does that look like? And so those are kind of the conversations and a lot of it is just I propose a question to them, we have conversation and then we write right from that question.

Oh my God, I love that. Like that's actually. You just inspired me for like dinners and get togethers and wine.

Yeah, yeah.

So much fun. We actually wrote some poetry. This last type of like get together that we did, it was amazing. Like we just drank wine and talked about Leonardo da Vinci and then wrote poetry about it. It was freaking like listen to opera and then wrote poetry.

So good.

It was wine poetry. So you know, know some were quite funny. But how fun. Like I, I love that you just shared that because I hope that people listening like actually do that, do that with your friends, do that with your family, do that with like create something around it. I can't tell you how much I just feel like people, we, we don't Fully understand what connection is until we do things like that together and get really vulnerable and show those parts to each other and share them. Like, those are moments that you just shared something that can completely change the way people connect and families are and things that you do and just make things more meaningful. Like, we don't have to sit around a box and watch television as a family. We can actually connect and do fun things. So thank you for that. That just inspired me more than I can possibly tell you. So what is your favorite prompt for you? Because I want you. I would love if you'd be open to sharing some of your poetry.

Like what.

What feels fun for you right now?

Yeah. Well, right now I'm, like, writing a lot about just what I'm processing, about being in a space of being able to create and show up and be really intentional with the things that I'm creating. And at the same time, in this space of grieving, my fiance and I are. We're getting married in May, but just not the way we thought we were going to. And so a lot of that shifting. But for me, my conversations usually always come down to creativity, body positivity, faith, and what it means to be a woman and what it means to be a woman in this. In this skin and in these bodies that we live in. And so I think right now, the poem I think of all the time, which I'm, like, hoping to, like, get recorded and put out, because why not? And it's called magic. And then in parentheses, it's called in your bones. And it's a poem, I say, spilling instead of writing. Because a lot of times it's like this. This overflow that happens, and not really this, like, constructed process that happens. And I get the same with music. So I'll get just random, like, melodies in my head every once in a while. And most times they won't be words. They'll just be, like, a humming. And so I was driving with my fiance one day, and I just started humming, and he was like, what are you singing? I was like, I don't know. But shh. You know, I start recording it, and eventually it just, like, loops and loops and loops, and I. Eventually the words. There's magic in your bones, there's magic in your eyes. There's magic swimming hole. All right. In your mind there's magic in you. There's magic in me. There's magic in us for only we believe. And then the poem actually goes into an exercise that I did with my students. I had them write an I Am poem that broke down into ingredients. So explain who you are, but throw a full cup of sass in there or a quarter of intellect. And so for mine it was I am 1 3rd poet, I am 2 4th perfectionist. I am imperfect, chaotic, frazzled and indecisive. I can be moody and negative, self deprecating and hypocritical. I advocate for the beauty and importance of everyone else. And I sometimes. I sometimes deny my own. I am often thinking that I won't measure up. I won't achieve any other level of success. Most days. Most days I feel like a fraud. Like people will look behind my curtain and find a mess of a woman and they will not love me like still. I love like still. Like ocean always coming back to shore simply hoping to be loved in return. I am in love for the first time in my life and it is terrifying and beautiful all at one sign. Becoming slowly unwinding into who I've always been meant to be is like meeting a distant and yet long for piece of you that has always reminded you of home. I am home to one too many emotions. To fantasies and dreams that seem as realistic as fairy dust. I sometimes. I sometimes still believe in magic Hope that it's tucked in the wings of a butterfly or maybe in the dimples of a really chunky baby and the colors of a sunset or the way that he looks at me. And they may call me something like foolish 28 years old and still believing in magic but what if the thing we're most afraid of is not that it doesn't exist but that it's lived inside of us all this time and we called it foolish? Well then call me foolish because I could see it swimming in my veins and every time I take a breath Magic tucked on the tip of my tongue it is no wonder why these words are sometimes the most necessary healing I've come to know. So call us foolish because I could see it swimming in your veins and every time you take a breath magic tucked into your very existence so much so that your breath is a miracle and you are a miracle. There's magic in your bones. It's magic in your eyes it's magic swimming holes. There's magic in you. There's magic in me there's magic in us if only we believe.

That is so beautiful. Oh my gosh.

You.

I think the most beautiful part about when people express is it reminds you that there is something. It's like a mirror for yourself when you know you have something in you and it's just it's like I get to experience you while fully experiencing me, if I can remember that we are all connected and we are all just. Like you said, we are all magical. And I was just listening to you with, like, sheer awe of just how we can be as humans when we allow ourselves to be expressed. And I'm so grateful that you have removed the, you know, the lid, for the most part, off of yourself.

That's good. Yeah, I think I'm trying. There's a fine line, too, because I think as creatives, we've really learned how to be vulnerable while still being able to protect parts of ourselves. But then also there's a twofold where there's just this unrelenting that happens, where we expose all of us, you know, and we step back and we're like, man, I didn't. I didn't mean to do that, but I really needed to, you know, And I think those are my favorite moments. Those are my favorite poems. And, yeah, it's been a really beautiful process to balance the two, because you work in a field where people hear your stuff and see your Instagram, and they're like, we know you. You know, and finding that balance of, like, you don't. But, you know, a really big part of me. And I'm super honored to let you into that space, you know, at the same time.

Oh, my God, that's so true. So I listened to a podcast this morning, and the guy was saying that he won't publish anything unless it scares him, and he questions if people will like him afterward, and that's how he knows his stuff is going to be felt and good.

Wow.

And I was like, oh, shit, that's scary.

That's incredible. Yeah, that's so good.

Is there a part of you that you are afraid of sharing? Like, if you were to share something about yourself and you had to go back to it the next day and you worried the entire time, like, will people still like me? What would that be that you would have shared?

Wow. Yeah, I think for me, a lot of it is just being the oldest child, having to kind of always be the example, whether that's for my siblings. But now it kind of feels like just for the world in general, or specifically for the. For the world and social media space that I've. I've created, you know, and that I've had. And so I. So the next book I'm actually writing, which is my first book without collaborating with other people, is called the Unfolding. And it's a lot of those parts of Me where I'm like, okay, this is very much so me now living and breathing, but it doesn't look like maybe who I was. And so how do you allow that permission for those parts of you to unfold and to become new? And so a lot of it is just, like, just how I view kind of everything right. Right now I'm just like, what does it mean to be a creative? You know, what does it mean to be in a relationship? What does it mean to be a Christian today? And, like, just all of it is unfolding for me and shifting and growing for me, but I feel even more so aware of myself. I feel even more so experiencing a lot of, like, freedom and being able to just be like, this is. Is me in this present moment. I think this is the fullness of who I am and who I'm supposed to be right now. And really leaning into that and not being afraid of the things that unfold. Because, you know, I love flowers. Those are, like, my visuals for a lot of things. And I went to a sunflower field once, and it was around sunset. And so. So you started to watch, literally, the sunflowers rotate themselves towards the sun as the sun began to set. And it was like this really beautiful moment of like, oh, man. Like, why don't we give ourselves the permission to rotate when this where the sun is? And that then fold is just the permission to lean where we need to lean and to grow how we need to grow in that present moment and allowing that permission, you know? And so that's kind of where I'm at right now. That's just the next book. I'm kind of like, oh, I might lose some people, you know, from this. I might. And that's okay because I'm a big person in believing that, like, whatever season we had with each other, it served, and now it's over. And I'm okay with that.

So I just pray everybody got that, because that is.

That is.

I just. That is a truth, which I'm gonna get into a couple questions here. Just some rapid fire about what truths, you know, but that is a truth for me, that I know that's how it seems counterintuitive, but I wish that we could all understand that we. If we were very present, we would be able to just drop into the moments with each other. This might be the only moment that I ever get to have with you. And I don't. I don't feel sad about it because I know that I'm not living in the future of. Does she, like Me. Does she not? Does she? I hope that we can be friends. Like, I hope all of those things. And I'm right here, like, just basking in the way that your brain thinks. So I just wish that we all could just, like, let the moments happen, good or bad, and then know that the next moment is the next moment with the next person. Like, I think as women, we like to carry everyone with us, especially if we feel, you know, I used to feel connections and be like, I felt connected to her. How can I fit her in my already crammed life, you know?

Right.

Yeah. No, that's so real. Yeah.

It's crazy. So, yeah, that was beautiful. Thank you for that. Just kind of like, letting that. Letting that be, letting that stay there if it's not meant to carry on to the next phase of your life. So, okay, let's see. I would love to hear some truths because I'm just in love with your brain. So what is the truth that you have learned about relationships? For you, this is not a world truth.

It's a you truth. Yeah, well, I am a very individualistic person. I like being by myself. In fact, like, my whole conversation in Instagram before Body Positivity was really about singleness and owning that and sitting in that. And now I am just, like, so baffled because I have such a wee mindset. And one of the things, you know, I was, like, talking to my fiance about, because I was processing it was like, oh, about bank accounts and merging and all this stuff. And I was, like, wrestling with, like, you're taking my autonomy. You're taking my autonomy. Which is like. Wasn't. It wasn't what he was trying to do at all. And so I had to then realize this beautiful melding that's happening. And I still am very much so my own person, and he's very much so still his own person. But now we are we, you know, and we don't stand alone anymore. I think that's the beauty. Beautiful part of it. And so that's how I really knew that I was, like, in love with him is when I couldn't just make I statements anymore about my life or about my future. Like, it was very easy to be like, oh, yeah, well, we could do that. Like, we should move to Atlanta. You know, like, we should do this. And I was like, oh, oh, snap. You know, which is a huge part of our wrestling at first, because I just. I was so hesitant to let him in. And he was like, I just want to feel like I'm on your team. I want to feel like we're on the same team. And that was the work I really had to do of, like, we are on the same team, you know, and you're not trying to take away my individuality or what makes me unique or beautiful. You're trying to enhance those things. And so I think that's the beauty of a relationship, is this really complementing, meshing that happens. And it doesn't subtract or diminish anyone, but it just enhances everything, which is really beautiful.

Thank you. What is the truth for you around business and career as far as being taken care of or paid for, stepping into your purpose?

A truth right now is that, oh, man, I'm even saying this out loud. I'm like. I'm thinking it, and I'm like, I'm not gonna say it, but I'm gonna say it. The truth right now is just is monetarily valuing what I bring to the table, which is really hard for me just for various reasons, and asking mentors and things like that, like, okay, if I were to do this, how much would you quote that? And the numbers they give back to me? And I'm like, you would pay for that that much? And so I. The truth for me is my work is worth that monetary value. It's not valuable because of the monetary. It is valuable in itself, which is deserving of the monetary. And so that is kind of the truth. I am especially now of postponed and canceled things. I'm like, I'm sorry, but the rates are coming at the end of this, just because it's like, I have to make up. And I also am realizing in the. This stillness and in this space of rest and creating, I am. My work is deserving of that monetary value. So, yeah.

Oh, I love that so much. And especially I know that creatives really struggle in that area. Not just.

Let's.

Let's face it, it's not creatives. I'm in rooms consistent with everyone, and this is the number that is the number One fear is I am scared to charge this. I don't know if I'm valuable or worthy, especially for people in the beginning phases. And, you know, I think for so many creatives, I can tell you that as much as I have had mentors and coaches who have helped me in strategy, and I've paid so much money for strategy, I also pay equal amounts for people who can shift my perspective and crack things in me open that I didn't have access to.

That's so great.

I think it's like when people can learn that strategy means nothing without it's the content in the frame. Right? Like, they don't live alone. They live together. So. And just by you valuing what you do, it actually makes us show up for that type of coaching and cracking. So that's so powerful. So I think that's absolutely beautiful. So I could talk to you all day. I have many, many questions I had written down that I did not get to. So who knows, Maybe we get to, like, just intertwine in the future. But I just want to say thank you. And I know that, you know, you had the same impact on everybody listening that you had on me, because I feel just tapped more tuned into my own self and just the reminder to, you know, we have some space right now to create. And it's not.

It's.

Being creative is not a waste. It is one of the most valuable things that you will ever do. It will flow through. It's like the golden thread through everything that you'll put out into the world and who you be out in the world. It is magnetism. So I just feel like you are a magnet out in the world. So thank you so much for showing up and being brave. Thank you. And sharing in the way that you do. And I always end on one last question, but before we do that, I just want to make sure everybody can find you. Follow. You know, when your book is coming out, all of those things.

Yeah. So everything is Ariella Storia on Instagram and website and Twitter and Soundcloud and itunes and Spotify and Amazon as well.

Awesome. Okay, so my last question is. Let's see. What is my last question? Okay, here it is. I've only asked it 500 episodes. Okay. You're in an elevator with someone. It's a total stranger. The elevator ride is literally like five floors. So like, 30 seconds, and they look at you and they say, how can I make myself happy? What do you say.

Man? That's a good one. First I would say, do you want to make yourself happy, or do you want to exist in happiness? I think those are different things. When we make ourselves do things, things, we can't stay that way. So how then do you carry an attitude in a lifestyle not just of happiness, but of contentment and can in that, you find joy?

Dang, that's good. All right, so I want to be in an elevator with you as well. Okay, so you guys, if you. These are great. I have lots of elevator questions for you now. Okay, so you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to make sure that you text it right now to a friend. Especially if you have a friend who's struggling with putting their creation or art out into the world or someone who is just sitting there does not know what to do during this time. This is going to be a beautiful podcast to help crack them open. And the second thing is you guys, you can totally show somebody how much you appreciated the value that Arielle just gave by tagging us on social media in your stories and letting us know your biggest takeaway from this podcast. And also by doing that, you share with your friends friends that they can get a little dose of this goodness as well from the same podcast. So you guys, I'm always so, so grateful for you sharing this because that's how it gets out in the world. So until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget yet to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye.