576. Become a master negotiator

So you got to give yourself that cooling off period and then make a decision. Okay. Do I need to go back? Do I need to reengage? Or am I glad it worked out this way?

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business, and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. And we're back with another episode of he said, she said, where it's me and Chris and we give each other's opinions.

Well, you give your opinion and then I try to give mine, and then.

You just give and I tell everyone what is correct.

All right, what are we talking about today?

Okay, so this is such a good one. You guys get ready, take notes. I'm totally serious. This is going to change your life because it is. The seven steps to know the art of negotiation.

Oh, I like negotiation. I literally love it. It's like a sport for me.

You're the ultimate negotiator. And with that, Chris, while I was doing my research on this, let me tell you some of the quotes that were said by men about negotiation and some of the quotes that were said by women about negotiation.

By the way, guys, I had no idea that, one, this is a subject, and two, that she's got quotes or any of this stuff. Right now she's sitting here, like, smiling ear to ear, and I'm sitting here saying, oh, boy, what do I know about negotiation? Why does it go so well for me?

I already really did the rundown on why it goes well for you, because I have picked up on the art of negotiation by watching you. And I have been a negotiating machine.

Because you have to be, because you become a ninja.

Here's the thing. The first offer you get is. Is not the offer. That is not even what the other person is thinking. Like, they are actually waiting for you to negotiate. So when you don't, they're like, damn, that was easy. Like, they're actually expecting negotiation. And to be honest, from everything that I read, men are really expecting negotiation. Women usually are not. So you Guys start surprising them and negotiate. They're waiting for it. Okay, here we go.

They.

This is what men have compared negotiation to. They get excited and compare it to going to a ball game.

Ooh, I do.

They compare it to a sport.

Yep.

Want to know what women compared it to?

Yeah. Torture.

Going to the dentist is painful.

I love that. What else?

So women say or we still. That was it. That's the quote. You, like, made it really like, Oh.

I thought you had a bunch of quotes.

Those are the. That. Those were the main quotes.

For me, it's a sport. For you.

It's like, for men. They all compared it to sports. Is the quotes that I found for women. Women. They all compared it to pain or going to the dentist.

So I don't think this is a surprise to anyone. Let's teach them, though, how to make it more of a fun sport and to come out as the winner.

And that's what we're doing. Because women still only make 80% of what men make. So this is not a men or women thing. But I am saying, women, we need to get better at this because they're actually waiting for it.

Yeah. This will help bust that glass ceiling.

And I know a lot of men who don't negotiate as much as they possibly could. I know some that don't at all. So with that said, let's get into step one. Are you ready?

I am ready. And I just wanna say one thing. This just came to me. I think people feel like it's a personality type. Like you're either a negotiator or you're not. It's not. It's actually a learned art. And every personality type can be really good at it. Cause it's not about being loud. It's not about being dominant. It's not about being tough. It's about being wildly smart and calculated.

And listen, when I have children, I am literally going to teach them how to negotiate with small things. So with that said, I know that you learned to negotiate because of your parents, and they brought you in on it. Lots of great stories. It was not something Chris came out of the. I mean, like, legitimately. Maybe Chris did come out of the womb being like, look, I'm gonna need more milk than this. You're gonna need to work on that. All right, here we go. Step one. Decide to be a negotiator, you have to commit to negotiating, which means all of the things that are coming your way. When there is a choice or an offer, you actually have to say, I'm not going to settle on the first thing. It doesn't mean that you are not going to take the first thing because it might be a great offer on the first run, but you're always going to choose to negotiate.

I love this because you go in prepared, right. You go in with the confidence that no matter what the first sentence is, what the first offer is, you already know that you're going to turn it into a negotiation. So it doesn't feel like a, a bad thing. It feels like it's actually going in the way that you're controlling it.

Yeah. And I don't think people are ready for step two because this is where it gets really fun. Step two is just to practice. Meaning, okay, let's say that you are going to the store and you literally are at the grocery store. That is random and weird to negotiate, but not at all because so many people do it. And you can say things when they ask. Do you have your phone number for this to get the discount? I don't, but is there any way that you could use your number? Because I really like this discount. This would be huge for me. Do you mind? Yep, Just little teeny tiny things like that.

You know what that falls under? You don't get what you don't ask for.

You don't get what you don't ask for. 1 million percent. Where else are some fun places that you've negotiated that are unexpected places?

All right, so car dealerships used to be like where you expected to negotiate and then they turned into this big movement where it's the no hassle car lot. Right?

Right.

Here's the price. No matter what, there's no negotiating on it. There's still a negotiation that takes place.

100%. I see it all the time.

And I do. Number one, I decide that there's going to be a negotiation even though they say there's not. Number two, I have to allow them to save face because they have to stick their policy. So I say something like this, hey, listen, I know that this is a non negotiable price, but I also know that there are other ways that you can go above and beyond to earn a customer, especially a customer that's going to buy a car every single year or, you know, whatever your leverage point must be. What are some of those ways that you guys have massaged a deal in the past that doesn't have to do with the price now? You're going to be surprised. It might be warranties thrown in, it might be free oil changes thrown in, it might be you know, free detail. Every single year, it might be getting more money on your trade, because that is negotiable, but the price of the car is not. When you ask where are the other areas that you've worked hard to earn a deal, you'll find out there's always somewhere that there's movement. It just may not be on the obvious place that you're looking for.

Oh, my God, you guys just saying simple things like, look, you have been amazing. I really want to stay here and work with you, but I'm gonna. I'm not going to be able to right now at this price. So what is the absolute best you can do on my trade? And is there anything you could throw in that could really help?

Because I don't know your steps. Is there one about really edifying and building up the ego of the other party?

Yes. Okay, so just wait. Okay, step three. Be nice, but be certain. Know what you bring to the table. Be nice, but be certain. Know what you bring to the table. So know your. Know your leverage point. Right? So tell me about that one.

Okay, I'm going to use the motorhome that we just got as an example. Um, went in there, and there was a really great place, a giant RV in Los Angeles area here. Went in there and realized that they're pretty good guys, and I started building them up. I said, hey, you know, who's the general manager or the sales manager here? I definitely want to pay him a compliment. And this is before I bought anything.

And they were amazing.

I want to tell them, like, how good it feels to have all you guys edifying each other. How good it feels that every person's come up and introduce themselves, even though they're not my salesman. And how good it feels, you know, the fact that you guys brought the dog, the thing. So I purposely said, hey, would you introduce me to either your sales manager or your general manager? I just really want to pay you guys a compliment. So now look what happened. The salespeople like, oh, sweet. No one's ever done that. I like this guy. He's looking out for me. Then I go to the sales manager, who I know is really going to be saying yes or no to the deal. I say, hey, just want to introduce myself. My name's Chris. Because now when I'm familiar and there's a name with it and a face, now he's going to go to bat for me more. Just want to just, you know, I'm Chris. This is my wife, Lori. This is our dog, Bananas. And I know, this may seem unconventional, but I just had to compliment you on the culture that you've created here. Since we've walked in, every person has introduced themselves, even though they're not working with us. Every person has edified the rig or two that we're looking at. Every person has edified the other salesperson. Oh, you're working with Greg. He's amazing. You're going to love him. You're in good hands. And they volunteered to bring water for bananas. Like, this has been an incredible experience that you've created an incredible culture, and I don't see that often, so I just wanted you to know. Great job. Now I've got the sales manager in the palm of my hand, and that's the real decision maker.

Mm. So good, you guys. And it's not being fake, it's being real. Like, create a relationship. This is so important, where everybody's just like. They go in and they're. It's funny because they're gonna treat you like a number if you show up like a number. Like, be a human. Ask some questions. Be interested. Create a relationship so they have skin in the game with you and you are interested in them. Like, good.

I was gonna say. Can I give another example?

Yeah.

Okay. You guys are gonna think it were nuts, but we got us another RV from the same place, and this was uncalculated, but it shows you how Lori's point number three here of be nice works out in your favor. So when we were done buying the last rv, I sent an email. I asked the guy, I said, hey, listen, could I get your. Because they have a lot of stores. Can I get your top general manager? General manager? Could I get your owner and anyone else you think that should be on? An email of me complimenting this particular store. And the guy gave me four names, and I sent an email. Hey, I just wanted to let you know about my experience in a store. And I named the people, and I copied the sales managers, the finance manager, the salespeople, the whole nine yards. Well, now, you and I went in there a couple weeks ago last week, and we're like, oh, let's get another motorhome. I don't know why we're crazy, but we are.

And I feel like we need to give them a backstory. We're probably going to spend a lot of time traveling the US Instead of at home. So we wanted something that felt more like a home. And this was a decision. Let me tell you what happens when you get really clear on some things in your life. That so think we're crazy. I don't really care. This is what's working, so. So go for it.

Chris, I don't know what you were just talking about. I was just talking about how because I sent that email when we went back in the second time, they were. And by the way, I didn't know we're going to go again a second time, get another motorhome. When I went in second time, they were so damn happy to see us. They were so grateful. The general sales manager there, we dealt with him directly. He went to bat for us. He's like, hey, right away here's what I want to do. I'm going to call the owner, I'm going to call the vice president. I'm going to explain that you're coming back. I'm going to explain why I want to give you this deal. The dude went to bat for us, he's amazing. And we got a deal that is like no deal I've ever seen before when we're making a dumb fiscal decision by going and trading in a motorhome that we bought three weeks ago.

Yeah, it was quite amazing. And you definitely, here's the thing, you definitely have put in work on this deal. And I think that's what people don't realize. There's been so much back and forth. How many times do you think that you've gone back and forth? So people have an idea of how many times the volley actually happens?

Yeah, probably 10 times. So you know, the first couple volleys are in person. The second volley is in a or the third volley is in a follow up text. The volley after that is in a email the next day. The volley after that is in a follow up text again. And half of them are like, hey, I know you're going to bat for me today. Really appreciate it. Let me know. And you know something. Yep. And notice how I phrase that other people like, hey, any word on the deal yet?

Yeah, that doesn't not work or like being rude or like a threat. I read that a lot with like negotiation. Like a lot of people use threats like if you don't do this, I'm gonna blah, take my business elsewhere. What Like I get. So you have used other comps but you don't say that you're like call them leverage points. Yes, let's talk about that. So here's the thing because you we just talked about leverage points. But step three was be nice but certain, know what you bring to the table as well. And then step four is know their Motivations, which I think we. We talked a lot on. Create a win win for them. Compliment their strength, know their leverage points.

Yeah, so leverage points are so important. Where else can you get the same product? Or do you have a big audience that you could offer to talk about them on your podcast? Or do they know that you're someone who buys whatever it is, clothing, yoga pants, cars, motorhomes, you know, on a regular basis? Or do they. Do you have a leverage point that you also have a friend or somebody else looking that you'd be happy to point their direction if this goes well? Know your leverage points. So with these motorhomes, I had leverage points. I looked everywhere in the country and I found, you know, the same bottle, roughly, and it was a lower price than. Than the good price they were already giving. And I said, look, I said, I've already proven how fond I think of you guys, and I've already proven, I think that I really want to do business here. And I feel like you and I, we've kind of struck a bond as well. But just guy to guy, when you see this price at this other place, you know that you have to take it to be fiscally responsible. And the problem is, I don't want to do the fiscally responsible thing over doing business with you guys right here in my backyard. So what if. What if we found a number that was above the number that this other guy's selling it at, but close enough to it where I don't feel like I'm making a fiscal irresponsible choice. And that was really my way of saying, give me a better deal or I'm going to go buy this one. But look how eloquent it is, right?

Totally. It makes them want to lean in and be like, okay, I totally see your point what you did. Guy to guy, or person to person, they can say, hold on a minute, I'm going to get in your shoes. Like you invited them into your shoes. As if you're saying, okay, just stand in my shoes for a minute. I want to do what's right, but help me do that. So love that. Okay, step five, be prepared for the no. Have another negotiation. We kind of went back and forth with this, with the volley. But, like, when they tell you no, what. What we kind of didn't touch on is that they say no. Like, I just can't do any better than this. I hope you understand. And you don't usually take that for an answer.

Well, let's use a different example. Instead of the motor home one so people get see themselves in different examples. Yeah, we run masterminds and we host them at beautiful, epic venues. Right. The elite mastermind. And what a lot of times every single one of these venues, by the way, if you do events, they're all negotiable, no matter what they tell you. They're all negotiable.

Yes.

And boy, they're actually really negotiable.

Super negotiable.

But the thing is, to Lori's point here, you need to know what your other option is. And so we will never fall in love with one place, we will always have at least two places. Knowing that if the negotiation breaks down at one, we have a next best option that also delivers in the way that we want to deliver. Now it might not have been our number one option, but we're not going to spend foolish money just to have our number one option. We're going to have a second best option that is darn near equal to mind blowing is what option number one would have been. But we're not afraid to know what our backup plan is.

Yeah, and you also have to know just, just like you said with levers, like maybe it's not the most mind blowing location that we wanted. It's still mind blowing, but it wasn't the ultimate that we wanted. So if we save that money, we know that we can bring in other mind blowing experiences. So there's always these levers you can pull to get the baseline same experience that you're looking for, but in different ways. So what we're saying here is don't get so hooked on one concept or expectation. Like always have backup plans. And I actually think it, like the universe just works out better in that way. Okay, so number step six is know your bottom line. Like know your walk away point and be super committed to that. Because what can happen is you start negotiating and you're way off from your number and you're like, well, I guess I'll take it because I really want it. And I know that we've done that in the past, but it is because we didn't actually have that bottom line point. And we were open to being like, let's just try to get the best deal. So I'm not saying like, yeah, walk away from your dream house even if you can't afford it. I'm not saying that, but I am saying for the most part, know your walk away point. Elaborate.

You have to be a person of principle that says this is the point, that it doesn't make sense.

Yes. To know Your point that it does.

Not make sense, and that takes the emotion out of it. When you know that at this point, before you get into it, before you get into momentum, before you get into the new car smell, before you get in those things, you have to know this is the point that it doesn't make sense. And that is your breakaway point. And when you establish that before you get into the action, then it becomes a very objective floor, not a subjective floor that can be manipulated, and it allows you to make smart decisions and go back again a later time or somewhere else when you regroup.

So funny. I'm actually negotiating right now, and someone came to me with something that I'm doing. I don't want to say what I'm doing just in case they lose on the podcast, but they came with a number that was like, way. Not what I thought it was going to be, like, way more. And I'm not walking away. So I had already said yes, essentially, and they're like, great, we'll work up this estimate. But obviously, once I see the estimate, I can still say no. So there was a bit of, like, embarrassment with that, right? Because I was like, yeah, because I factored in my own head what I thought it would be from past experiences. Well, it came back, like, four times that. So then I had written, you know, this is. I'm. I'm so sorry. I fully understand how important your time is. I'm not saying you are not worth this. I 100% know it. But in the pat from my past experiences, I must have booked X, Y, and Z. Here's what I'm used to paying. Here's what I expected, and here's the top that I can pay. Is there any way that we could either get rid of some things or negotiate something? I said, if not, I more than understand, but you are the team that I would love to work with if we could make this possible. And immediately an email came back that was like, no problem. Let me see what I can work on. I would love to get closer to this number for you. So with that said, I was like, God, if my ego got in the way and was just like, oh, yeah, I'm embarrassed. I already said yes. I really want to work with these people. This is a really important thing that I have to get done anyway. It would have never happened. But truly, it's like, I'm not going to nickel and dime myself with this new company either. You have to watch your bottom line no matter what, and you can't let your ego get in the way. So there is a number seven.

You knew your breakaway point where it makes sense.

Totally. And you know what? I would have figured something else out. I would have gotten I would have just figured something else out if that if it wasn't going to come back that way. Instead of feeling like that weird resistant, like, wow, I'm spending more money than I want to be spending. There is a number seven. We're going to hit it real quick. Okay, so number is just accept the outcome. Like accept the outcome no matter what. So here's what I want to tell you guys. Even in the moment, if you're walking away or you get a no.

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Gonna kind of hurt that day. It's gonna feel like you really want that thing. It's gonna feel like, damn it, you lost the house of your dreams or you lost the RV of your dreams, or the car of your dreams, or the relationship or, you know, that partnership that you really wanted. And you have to know that there's always going to be something better. Because if it wasn't a win for you, it's actually not a win that's going to show up later. If you're going into it with resistance and with fear. That fear is like a seed. It doesn't go away. It literally gets planted. So you either need to make peace with it. If you do say yes to it and be like, hey, this is great, I'm so happy with this deal. And be happy with the deal even if it's not what you wanted. Or just like let go and know that tomorrow and the next day that feeling is going to dissipate and you're going to wake up and you're going to be able to see why it wasn't a great deal. But it takes about 24 to 48 hours, don't you think?

Oh, yeah, for sure. Because the emotion.

Yeah, emotion takes a while to. It's the steam needs delay.

Yes. And no one likes to have anything taken away. Right. That's why the takeaway is such a powerful sales technique. Actually Working both ways.

Yes.

But the emotion of having something taken away from you goes back to when we were a child. We don't want anything taken away. Throw a tantrum. So you got to give yourself that cooling off period and then make a decision. Okay, do I need to go back? Do I need to reengage? Or am I glad it worked out this way?

Yeah. So good. Okay, well, those are the seven steps to negotiate. I can't wait to hear what you negotiate on. And what I really want to know is there's something in your life that you're negotiating or that you're going to negotiate after hearing this podcast. So make sure that you tag Chris W. Harder, at Chris W. Harder and at Lori harder. And please let us know what your biggest takeaway was, what you're going to negotiate, or what this struck in you.

Yes. And don't forget we've opened up our Fast Foundations mastermind that we are so proud of. It's literally become like famous because we over deliver on that thing. But here's the thing, we've taken a virtual. So the cool thing about taking a virtual is now there's no more days away from your family. There's no more getting on an airplane or paying for a plane ticket. There's no more hotel room costs. But it still creates just as much impact because we've up leveled the guest teachers, we've up leveled the speakers, we mastered the art of getting you guys to connect and collaborate. We have actually stretched it out from five months long to six months long. And we're still the only mastermind that includes one on one business accountability coaching. We hire a coach on your behalf that we assign to you and you get a monthly coaching one on one every single month for the six months. But here's the best part. Because it's virtual, we don't have that cost of a physical location anymore. And so we pass that on to all of you. We slashed the investment in half. So I don't even know if there's any spots left by the time this comes out because the people have been clamoring for this thing. 55% of the last class renewed already for this one.

I'm so excited about that.

That kind of speaks to, well, two things. One, how well it works and number two, how few spots there are. But if there's spots left and if you are called to do this, go check it out@fastfoundations.com fastfoundations.com it'll be very clear if there are spots left or not. When you go there and if there are, pull the trigger because you might be looking at the last one.

Oh, my God, you guys. I did two interviews today from our Fast Foundations members because they had such epic transformations and I only did two interviews. And I remember at the end of this last Fast Foundations, which was just like two weeks ago or the last virtual event, we had so many people who had like launches that blew their mind. I just did an interview today with Jen Kennedy and she, I believe my math is terrible for extra business.

Went from at her first six figure months.

Yeah, well, not just that. She went from 100k to. She's hitting 500k annual now.

Yep.

Crazy. And that is from Fast Foundations.

Yep.

Isn't that so cool? So anyway, on that, and that is out on my podcast if you want to hear how to do that.

All right, so go check it out fastfoundations.com and even if it's not for you, you can get free learning, free content, free awesomeness from Lori and then a couple tidbits from me every single week on this episode. We appreciate you listening.

Until next time, earn your happy and.

And bye.

Bye. Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye Bye.

It.