581. Q+A: How do you stay motivated in your current job when you want to work towards something else?

So I will choose, like, a little bit of resistance. Like, I will choose a little bit of a challenge every day to not sit in the freaking, like, pain and annoyance of being irritated with myself. Like, no, not gonna happen. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Foreign. Welcome back to questionably awesome where you are my co host and we talk about random things and also occasionally get to 1 to 3 of our audience listeners. Questions.

Yeah. And today, guess how many we're gonna hit?

How many we're gonna. You really think we're gonna get through three questions?

We're gonna get through three. I can already feel it.

Okay. Cause I guess you're setting right now like you're stating your expectation and you're kind of stating what you would like me to do as well. Be more concise. Okay, let's do that. Do we have a review?

Oh, my gosh, we're diving right into the review.

Why not? Because you know what? I can always talk after it.

I love it. Okay, today's review comes from the justice reign. Whoa.

Wow.

Powerful.

She says love at first. Listen, I stumbled across earn your happy a few years ago and was immediately hooked up. The podcast led me to your book, which led me to my tribe. I have been masterminding with them for two years now. Then adding Evans to the mix was an extra shot of awesomeness I didn't even know I needed. Same the dynamic duo stay questionable. Love, Michelle.

Oh, my God. Love her. How did that make you feel? Just warm and fuzzy everywhere.

It made me feel like I could stand up taller.

That's. That was like drinking two glasses of champagne without any after effect.

Yeah, I wish that would happen in real life.

I know. Like, let's just keep this buzz rolling, right? Yeah.

Thanks for the. Thanks for the friend buzz, Michelle.

That was fuzzy. I liked that. God, reviews are so nice. Like, you know, we. We pitch them as like a bonus for them and we get to shout them out, but really it's really just to make sure that we're still in. Okay. Standing with our listeners. Thanks, Michelle. We'll live on another day.

Do you know what I liked on your drink, light pink page? What? I liked that story. Was it today where you had a story that was like, give the compliment.

Oh, give the compliment? Yep. Isn't that so true? How often do you hold back? Do you know what's worse? You know how you get all hot and nervous and your heart is pounding before you give a compliment? What is that? When is that ever scary? Like, I guess it is scary because sometimes in la, people will look at me like, is there a problem when. Where's my wallet? Like, they'll, you know, immediately put their hand on their wallet. I'm kidding. They don't. But that's what I picture happening. Like, someone being like, I'm not gonna date you. Like, male or female, them saying that to me and then being like, and my wallet is in my purse locked and loaded. And I'm like, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really pretty.

I just really like your haircut.

And they're like, what do you want from me? There is not. Isn't that crazy that, like, a lot of times we don't give compliments because we're afraid of what people will think we want from them? Like, oh, my. We have to stop that. We literally have to let that go and just give the. I'm. I'm gonna make it a goal. Evans, let's give out compliments today. Are you going anywhere that you can hand some out?

Oh, yeah. I need to go to the grocery store.

So do I. Oh, my God. Okay, we have to give out. Can we remember to talk about this on the next podcast?

Yes.

We have to give out three compliments while we're at the grocery store.

Oh, I love this challenge. Do you think you can do it?

I can definitely do it, because. Okay. But it has to be three different people. Like, we can't blow it all on the sales clerk. On the checkout person.

On checkout. No, you have to. Three separate interactions. Yep.

Okay. Okay.

Doing it.

And we'll talk about it next week. Please, please try to remember, because I'll probably forget. So.

And everyone who's listening to this has.

To do it too. Yeah. Take on the challenge. I want to know what your three compliments were and to who. So tag us and upload it and let us know. Okay. Super fun game. I am still sweating profusely right now. I got off the peloton I think like five minutes before or actually 30 seconds before I saw Evans and like literally dripping. So I think you need to get a Peloton. This is not an ad. I even tried to get them to pay me to do ads, but they're. They don't need the business. So we have a seven year waiting list to give people bikes. So we don't actually want you advertising.

I want one.

The best. I have some. Okay. So I wrote a Robin. I don't remember her last name because her. Her hashtag or her. Her hashtag. Her handle is Robin NYC. She's spicy. I like her. She reminds me of JLo. But as she. If JLO was a spin instructor.

Ooh.

Yeah.

She played good music.

Oh, yes. I was like, yeah, that's why, hence the sweat is because I was just like, girl, I don't know what, but she was just pushing me to my edges. So I think we should ride the Peloton together. Remember when we worked out together that one time in Florida?

Yes, Lori. That was the hardest workout I think I've ever had in my entire life, even to date. Oh, for sure.

Oh, my gosh. We gotta get you. We gotta get you lifting some of the metal. I don't know. I was trying to think of something.

Meathead and I couldn't remember how you would do. You'd be like, okay, we're gonna do sprints in between on the treadmill. And I was like, what is happening? I was sore for like the whole.

Week.

We were together that whole week on a cruise ship. Yeah. The true story. Every good story starts like that.

Yeah, that was intense. I really do need a workout like that more often. So thank you.

Yeah, it shakes the rust off. No pun intended. Literally. I wake up most days just a little bit like, meh. And then I do a good workout and I'm like, wow. The world is good. People are good. I feel strong. I'm proud of myself. And then I go on. I love it. Yeah. So what's been going on in your world from this last week?

Some ups and downs like usual, but. Oh, we have a puppy. We have a puppy.

Please talk about your puppy. Just take two minutes to talk about your puppy.

June. June Bug. She is a little attached to us, I think. So we're working on that. That's been hard because we're all quarantined. So it's like you don't do anything.

I know. Bananas has severe anxiety when we leave. He's at the door right now, clawing the door. I Wish I was joking, but he's scratching at the door because he's, like, so afraid we're gonna leave because June is cooped up with you and is not playing with other dogs, I'm guessing.

Yeah, no, there aren't any other dogs, and she doesn't have all her shots yet, so I can't let her play with other dogs. But she's awesome, and I'm so glad that we got a dog. And everyone should go get dogs.

Did she help heal your heart a little bit from George?

She really did. It's crazy how you need that little furry love.

They're little fur patches. They are. Each one kind of patches up what was torn apart by the other one, you know? Yeah.

Because you don't realize how sad you are until some little ray of light comes in and you're like, dang.

Yeah. You're like, how did I live without this fuzzy energy in the house? No, that was it for me. I came home after Waffles had passed, and she wasn't in the house, obviously, from what I know. I don't know, maybe her spirit was. But I came back to the house and I was like, oh, God, no. Like this. I cannot. I can't come home to an empty house. They're. They're the soul of the house. So anyone who doesn't have a dog, trust me. And if you're like, what the hell? I get it. I didn't understand before I had a dog either. I was like, if this chick talks about her dog one more time, like, I'm out of here. That's it. I'm gonna talk about a made up gerbil and make her listen all day long.

A gerbil. You know what? If you have a gerbil and you.

Love it, you do you. Oh, yeah. I mean, gerbils are awesome, too. My cousin has gerbils. She brought them out to me during her graduation party, and I was literally, like, eating my food while gerbils were on my shoulders. So whatever.

Wait, they were like. Were they on her way? They came on your shoulder?

She was. She brought them out for me to meet all of them.

So that's cool.

Yeah, it was really cool.

My brother had gerbils growing up, and he was, like, obsessed with them. It was like a 90s thing, right?

Oh, I think rodent pets were very popular in the 80s and 90s. Like, I had a rabbit. Yeah, I had a bunny. And that's definitely, like a rodent pet. It ate every cord in the house. We had to replace Just about every lamp we ever owned. Her name was Babs. Babs the Bunny. And she was a real bitch. She bit me all the time. She hated me because she, like, was supposed to be technically on a farm, you know, And I was just like, love me. I've never had a pet before.

Why don't you love me?

And.

So she was trying to electrocute herself, in my opinion, to get the hell out of there. And she just ate every wire. So my parents made me get rid of her and we had to give her away and she went on a farm. So that's good.

I'm sure she. She's probably still hanging on.

Well, she's definitely not. I found out some bad news later that I won't share, but.

Oh, God. Okay.

Yeah, but that was, you know, that was a tough thing to learn as a child, so. But Babs was great. I tried to love her as hard as I could, but that really talks. That goes into relationships. Like, you know, don't, don't try to corner your partner or change them or smother them or they're probably, you're gonna come home and they're gonna be chewing wires or moving to a farm. Yeah, don't drive them away.

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So I think, I think we should probably hit a question.

Yeah.

Do you want to wait?

You have a quote by yourself?

Did you do your quote?

No.

I can if you'd like.

Me?

Yes, please.

What? Oh, it's from Eleanor Roosevelt and she said, eleanor. Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

I love that quote so much.

Me too.

It's so easy to get trapped into talking about other people. It's so easy because it's just like the low hanging fruit. Like it's literally the fast food of conversation. It's like just junk and it's addictive. Like, have you ever gone to McDonald's, had one of their cheeseburgers and been like you? The second you drive away and your cheeseburger is gone, you're like, I need another cheeseburger. Like, it's it's just like addictive. Like it's I and you're full and you're like, no, I need a fourth cheeseburger. And you're so grateful that every highway exit has a McDonald's on it. Cause it's your fourth stop.

Yep.

Yeah, I know we've done that before. It's crack. Like junk talk and gossip and small minded conversations are crack. And it's a hard habit to break, but it literally has a, a really bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad after effect. Typically leaves you with no friends eventually in the long run. Or they talk about you behind your back because that's what you're doing to them and that. And then you never actually have a solid relationship. So. Love that one. Yeah. What made you to use that quote?

I think just the climate of the world right now feels a little tense and I don't like it. Let me just rise above all this negative mean talk and get stuff done.

Like find your purpose and follow that. I really believe if we all just really focused on the causes that were important to each of us individually and find our purpose and go for that and focus on our happiness and our families, that a lot of things would be moving, just more productive.

Right.

Because of course there's huge things that need to get attention. But I do think that we'd be a lot more productive quicker if we stopped directing attention to things that are really negative. Okay, so this is a quote that isn't even fully made yet. I wrote a sentence to myself on my run and I was like, evans, I'm going to say a quote by me. Why the hell would I? That's so weird. Okay, here we go. But I was thinking about when people say no and what they're actually like, like when people say yes. Because I've been talking just, I've been thinking and talking a lot about boundaries because I had this boundary video come out that I made and I think I was thinking a lot about when people say yes and they don't mean to and then when they actually say no. So like the translation of no thank you is no thank you translation. What I meant to say is I don't want to resent you and abandon me. I think that's so great.

That is great. That needs to go on them.

I think that's gonna go on the light pink page, so. Or on my page, I don't know. But isn't that the truth when you say no thank you, I'm literally like, hey, heads up. I don't want to not like you later. I'm actually doing this because I want to stay friends or to keep a healthy relationship. And if I said yes to this, I'd be abandoning myself and, like, doing. Living on your terms. So, like, how can we have a healthy agreement with that? So, all right, let's move into that queue.

Okay. Do you want to do three?

Really? We're going to try. Let's try. Let's see what we can do.

The first one is from Steph Zagoro, 28, and she wants to know, how do you stay motivated in your current job when you want to work towards something else? This is about pivoting.

Oh, I love this question. You're going to have to reframe daily, and it's going to be one of the hardest things that you do because you have to be living and hopeful of the future, like, living and preparing and focusing, like, posturing yourself for the future while simultaneously reframing gratitude for what you're currently doing. It's one of the hardest things you'll do, but you're gonna have to do it, like, I don't know, in most people's lives, you'll probably have to do it two or three more times. And someone who jumps around a lot or who is, you know, like a serial entrepreneur who's very creative, you'll probably have to do it 20 or 30 more times. So I think that's super helpful to know, like, this is not. This is actually part of the process. So if you can master this and get really grateful for what that job is providing, whether it's lessons, you're going through, some hard stuff, whether it's showing you, like, wow, I can still do things I don't like, while simultaneously, like, moving forward in what I want to be doing, or, wow, I can put up with this total, you know, dickhead at work while I'm simultaneously planning to get the hell out of here. Those are skills. People don't realize that the job you don't like or the thing that you are done with that you feel has expired from your life is actually giving you, like, that little ninja edge and skill. If you can come to peace with, like, showing up as big you can there while feeling like you're over it. That, my friend, is a skill.

That was an excellent answer because I've.

Been there multiple times. Chris and I were just talking about this today. Like, this was actually the topic of conversation.

No way. Yeah. Well, I'm glad I picked that question.

Yay.

Okay. You're number two, and I'm Going to have you start. Okay, so pick a good one.

Oh, God. This is from Elsie Bird. What do you know now that you wish you had known when starting your business? Ooh. You have to answer this because I don't have a business.

I would say, what do I know now that I wish I would have known?

Yep.

When you started out, I would say the winning. Winning lotto numbers. Just kidding. I thought of that joke for way too long. It still didn't come out right. I was thinking of it from the second the question came out. So what do I wish I would have known in my business? Oh, God. Patience. Like, that. Every single relationship is important as well. Like, right down to how you treat people that you're saying no to. Like, even if you know you're getting asked to do something a lot, or asked to, you know, maybe donate to someone's cause, that is, you're not, you know, like, in love with, or it's not for you or whatever that you're not passionate about. That's what I'm trying to say. Or go on somebody's podcast or have a partnership with somebody. Like, I think every single relationship needs to be treated like they're super important. Whether you say yes or no, Even if the interaction is like two sentences. Like, just treat them like a person, because you never know who's going to come back around. And just because it's going to make your life, you're going to enjoy your life more because you're a nice person. It's better to be nice to people and see them and acknowledge them. And also, I wish I would have known. I wish I would have known it was going to be really hard in relationships. And, like, there was going to be really, really hard things that I. I would stop taking personal quicker. I wish I would have known that was happening to everyone. I wish I would have known that it would be hard to let people go or to. To do what's right in every situation because people can't see the big picture. And sometimes that's the hardest thing you'll ever do, is to think of the big picture of your business or the masses and have to really piss off or disappoint a few people. And I didn't know how hard that was gonna be. But I also wish that I would, like, have spent years not taking it so personal and letting it beat me up for so long.

That's hard.

Yeah. How about you, though? Like, in your work, what do you wish you would have known just from your life now and told yourself like, even five years ago.

Ooh. Probably to be less, like, not so worried about being liked. Because I think that's one thing. Like, trying to be nice to everyone. I think you should be nice to everyone. But you don't have to, like, go out of your way to do everything for everyone you work with. Like, yeah, you. You have to have boundaries.

Totally. Because that. I feel like when you are that person who, like, goes out of their way for everyone, people smell it from five miles away. And the people who aren't typically, like, who will take more advantage of that, they just find you. They find you and then they just. I'm like, do I? Am I? Do I have a, like, radar on me that just says walk all over me? Yeah, you absolutely do. Because you've never said no.

Exactly. That's the thing. Just say no. It's okay. They'll find someone else to do it for them.

Oh, my God. I have so. I'm gonna be so honest. I have had people in my life where I'm like, oh, I know that they can always, like, get this done in, like, two hours. And they've never said no. So of course I'm gonna ask them first if I need a quick edit or if I need, like, you know, and then I have no idea if they're at home, like, putting pins in my voodoo doll. Like, I have no idea. They might be, but they've never expressed a boundary to me. And if they started saying no, I'd start asking other people. So, yeah, you just don't know. Okay, question three. We've done it.

We're gonna hit number three. Okay. This is from Andy. 2901. Best way to keep or make new habits when you have, like, 10, you want to start or change?

Oh, man. First of all, I forgot to say thank you for these questions. So I think we had Chelsea, Steph, and now Dandy.

Yep.

Okay, these are amazing questions. So good. How do you start? You can only do one at a time now. Some people can do two, but here's why. And I know we've talked about this before on here a ton. Evans, here's why. You only have a set amount of willpower right now. Like, currently, you can grow your willpower. And so what this means is that you, for everything that you currently have in your day to day in your schedule, you only have a certain amount of willpower to make it through your current to do list. So with that said, if you're already tired at 7 o', clock, you can't add more things. To your to do list outside of your already existing tasks of life without somehow removing something or just focusing on one thing at a time and putting that towards the more front of your day, if possible. The closer it is to the morning or afternoon, in my personal experience, the sooner you're gonna be able to stick to it and create a habit. Because what happens is as your willpower runs out throughout the day on simple things, right? Like, a lot of our willpower actually goes to social media because you're just absorbing so many bits of information that you can only take in so much throughout the day. So it's kind of like, okay, so if you want to start a new habit, you want to start reading, you may have to stop looking at social, like, for. For just a little bit. Or cut. Cut your social back. And like I said, like, it's kind of that read, Tracy, eat that frog. Like, theory. Like, do the hard thing first. Because as your willpower, and let's just call it, you know, your energy dwindles throughout the day, you're not going to do the hard thing, because the hard thing is hard. So it's gonna take more energy out of your day to do that. So one thing at a time, start doing that. And what happens is a lot of times when we build a healthy habit, it actually creates that willpower. So especially if the habit that you're building is meditation, that's actually a willpower grower. So I think it's five or ten minutes of meditation a day will actually help your willpower throughout the day, AKA energy. So it will help your energy stores. So it is working out that will help your willpower. So then if you get working out down, if you get meditation down, guess what you now have more room for and more energy for, right? Like, maybe you want to play guitar, but you're like, who freaking cares? Because I'm so tired, I actually don't want to play that song. And then the next morning you're like, I do want to play guitar. And then the night comes and you're like, I actually don't care. So. And that's the cycle. Isn't that the cycle? You're like, actually, who cares if I'm a guitar player? You know what? I want to be a professional wine drinker, because my friends like that. So it's just easier.

Yes, 100%.

So that's like, whenever I try to add anything, I'm like, let's front load. Let's figure it out. Because if for me, honestly, if it's. If it's after 3:30 or 4 not happening. I need all of my easier things in the evening. So sometimes like admin things that are a little bit mindless, anything creative needs to be front loaded. Anything mindless needs to be like afternoon. Because I'm just like, I'm done after 3:30.

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Same here. I'm such a morning person and I like what, even if you're trying to get like working out routine, I like how you kind of structure your. You built it in so much that it's just part of your day. Like brushing your teeth.

Yes.

It's not a thing anymore.

It's not a thing. And what I also do if I'm ever tempted to skip my workout is be like, yes, you can absolutely skip, but you have to not complain about feeling guilty and you have to not like you have to accept that you're not gonna feel as energized and you're probably gonn. You know, if I don't work out every day I can get really anxious and I can get a little bit blue and those are not. I don't want that for myself. Like I want to for myself. Like it's, it's, it's like I don't want to show up that way for other people, but I certainly don't want that for myself. Like I'm sick of choosing when I choose like to skip something. I'm sick of choosing less for myself. Like I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to actually consciously choose pain for myself. So I will choose like a little bit of resistance. Like I will choose a little bit of a challenge every day to not sit in the freaking like pain and annoyance of being irritated with myself. Like, no, not gonna happen. So. And then there's also like having to give yourself grace, right. If you don't feel good or you know you need a break. Like that's truly when I'm like, nope, this is. You're gonna feel good about resting because you can't go and be the person you wanna be without resting. So it's kind of like asking yourself, what do I need in this moment? And giving yourself that and not settling for what you don't need. So if you know you need to rest, don't choose, you know, doing a hiit workout, that's not actually what you need. That's like tuning out of what you need and giving yourself something that's not gonna give you a long term effect. It's gonna make you either sicker, more run down, or tired. Like, so. Yeah, tuning into what you need and not cheating yourself from what your body or mind is saying, that's so good.

Luckily, I don't ever have this issue because all my habits are just perfect all the time.

I was going to ask you, what are you doing on the road right now? Like, for your workouts.

Walks?

Yep.

And I got kind of out of it, and they need to get back into it. You ever followed Melissa Wood? She has, like, short little things.

No.

Honestly, you can YouTube anything. You can YouTube, like a five minute, like, beep, beep beep. This is a bicep workout, you know?

Yeah, I love that workout. The beep beep workout. I love. I love it. Like, I will find the beep beep workout right after this.

Yeah.

Walking has been so. Walking has actually, like, saved my life. Because you, you know, with all the travel that we were doing, you can always go for a walk. And it's the biggest reset and it's a great connector for your relationships as well. Like whether that's, you know, your partner or God or your friends, like, give a call on a walk. Like, it's so. It's so life changing. So. All right, Evans. We did three questions, and I'm so freaking proud of us. And we were going back and forth with some fun ideas. I know that you had texted me. What. What did you text me about?

Oh, I texted you about. It all came up, I think, because I had a gyno appointment.

Yeah.

And I always get really anxious about those. And so I was thinking about questions.

Anxious? Like excited. Oh, yeah.

So excited.

It's like going to Disney things.

You always, like, everyone has these similar things that they go through, but you're too nervous to ask. And once you ask, you're like, oh, actually, everyone feels that way.

Yep.

So I was kind of thinking, like, questions, you know, Anonymous question.

Yeah. We don't even have to say your name. You just have to say anonymous asks. Anonymous asks. So we're gonna see how we feel about answering any anonymous questions. Even though we'll know who you are, I guess, because you'll be asking them on Instagram, but people won't see them. But with that said, we won't say your name if you don't want us to. Or we can if you're just like, I don't care, but I really want to know. And then we'll see if Evans and I can get through it without just blushing the whole time or decid that this was a terrible, terrible idea. That could be as well. So, anyway, we're going to try that, and we're also going to try on the same vein of this. But just let's mix it up. Let's see what you got for us and see if we can answer them. So. Okay, you guys, Evan's last words of wisdom.

Oh, go get your female health checked out, because it only takes, like, two minutes to actually get it done, and it's really important. And. And I was reminded of that.

Oh, that is so important. I actually need to go do another appointment. So thank you for that. Fun.

So fun. Do you see what the nurse said to me? What the nurse said to me? Would you rather have a whole life of not knowing or two minutes of discomfort? So you know, like, what's going on with your body right now?

Yeah, two minutes of discomfort. Two minutes. You know what? I already have some good advice for this. Next time you go, and this really helps you feel better and distract yourself the whole time the appointment's going on. Just think of something. Think of yourself on a. On a ride, like a great America ride or Disney ride, and just yell we the whole time.

What does your doctor say when you do that?

I just tell her what I'm doing.

That's perfect. Thank you. That's all I needed.

Yeah. That's for next time. I'll tell you how my next appointment goes. All right, so thank you for tuning in, listening to Questionably awesome. I feel like we really left you with some pearls today. So until next time, we're so grateful for you. We always love your stories and seeing who you are. So make sure you tag us and let us know what sort of knowledge and wisdom that you gained or degree. I mean, I don't know, maybe we're giving out degrees on here without even knowing it. So let us know what you've graduated from, and we would love to see your face. Bye, Evans.

Bye, Lori.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again.

Guys. Bye.

Bye.