584. 3 Top Biz + Life Tips

Yeah, I literally, if I even sense people being passive aggressive, AKA not communicating their needs and then like acting strange like you're supposed to know or you know what I mean, what they're thinking or why they're upset, I literally will run the other way. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Okay, we're back.

We are back with another episode. This has been so much fun getting to talk with you husband.

What's the over under on bananas barking. He's staring out the window right now at the podcast studio at these animals going by, well, people and animals, I guess.

I don't think he will. He's been pretty good, but we'll see. I don't know if I'd put money on it yet.

He's been a random barker. Like, I wouldn't classify him as a barker, but once in a while he'll just go ham.

Yeah, it's very bizarre. Anyhow, we are back with another episode talking about three top tips for business in life. So these are top tips that actually apply to both. So this morning I was thinking about all of the best business advice that I've ever gotten, and three really stood out. So I'd love to get your take on these three.

Well, and the realization is that what's good for your business is good for your life and what's good for your life is good for your business. So if you can master these three things.

Yeah.

Then it's not just your business that gets better. It's not just your life that gets better. These three things specifically apply to both.

Okay, I want to talk about that for one second because I think people think that you're either really good in business or you're good at life, but they go together. Don't get me wrong, I've definitely met people who are great at business and are super effing up on life, but eventually that comes to a halt and they realize like, oh my God, I Have to, like, focus on mastering this other thing as well. And it's easy for people who are really good at life, not easy. I don't want to say that it's simple for them to start seeing these through lines that actually apply to both. Think about it in relationships, think about your expectations, think about what you're tolerating, all of those things. And that's what's going to get us into these three top tips that we really feel like apply to both in business. So the first one, Chris, is you get what you tolerate, you get what you settle for. Let's talk about that.

Yeah. And what. What was so you. I say you get what you tolerate. There's another way to say it, too. It's like you get what you settle for. I love both of those. And they both say the same thing. And obviously, this goes for business, this goes for life. When you settle for a mediocre life, you're going to get a mediocre life. When you settle for a mediocre income or a mediocre business, you're going to get a mediocre income or mediocre business. And people, what people don't realize is they don't know that they're settling. They think that they are, that they've reached a pinnacle. No one around them has shown them that something more is possible. They may have a glimmering hunch that something more is possible, but they don't see how to get there. So they just kind of stop. And this is, remember life and business. So you might just stop in your fitness journey with those extra £20, or you might just stop in your business journey at six figures instead of seven. And it's because you haven't gone around to gather the evidence that something else may be possible. So what is that evidence? Other people who have gone first that are relatable, other people that have gone first that you can buy into their way of life, other people that are willing to teach you or show you the steps of how to get there. All you need is proof to know that it's been done. And now that can become your new reality, whether it's in business or whether it's in your body or in life or health or any other aspect.

Yeah. So I've definitely been a person in the past that was like, oh, must be nice. It's not easy for me to do that. Or, wow, they must be great with negotiating. But I'm not. I got the short end of the stick. Or, wow, must be so great that this person's interested in them or that their business is taking off in this way.

And.

And those were all excuses and blaming. So blaming, complaining, and justifying. I wrote about this in my book. Like, those are absolutely not in my vocabulary or in my life anymore. Because if I'm blaming or looking at someone else and justifying why they have it and I don't, that is me not willing to do the hard work. And here is what I'm going to say is that if you believe you got the short end of the stick or that, you know, you're like, I'm not settling. This is just happening to me. Or this is what's happening in my life. Look, I understand that that can be a place that we need to go through before we can get to the empowering place of every single outcome that's happening in your life is because you are accepting it and you're settling for it. And look, this was not easy for me to look at my life and say, you know, oh, my God, I'm not doing these things because of me. And I used to say it's because I have anxiety that I can't do it. I have panic attacks. I have all these different things. This is why I'm not going for it. I don't. I'm good with numbers. I'm not blessed in that way. Okay, well, neither is this person and that person, but they did it anyway. So it was a huge moment for me where I was really learning about accepting and owning the truth. So that's first what I want to say. So this is also with money and your prices, right? What you're getting paid. This isn't going to happen right away as far as, oh, I, you know, I'm making $1,000 a month right now, and I want to make $10,000 a month. And then being like, look, Lori, I tried, but I couldn't make that right away, or that's not what people wanted to pay me. This definitely takes time. But ultimately, once you start getting yourself out there and you are really showing that you're an expert and you're working hard and you're starting to learn about launches and you're starting to learn about whatever that looks like in your business to make money, you eventually will set your prices and you won't settle for something less. You will let it be okay that some people will say, oh, you're too expensive, or, oh, I don't want your product, or whatever that looks like, or, wow, you're really charging way too much, and you will keep going and find your ideal customer. So that gap takes time, but ultimately it is the decision to stop settling for what you know you are or. Or to start making sure that you are getting what you know you're worth.

Well, and the last thing that I want to say about this, number one, you know, you get what you tolerate, you get what you settle for. This has to do with, by the way, if you think people always treat you poorly or somebody always screws you over, or you have a pattern of ending up on the short end of the stick. Guys, that's not a them problem. That's a you problem. Here's what you have to understand is, to Lori's point, before everything truly actually is, the outcomes are within your control, not circumstances, the outcomes. And what happens is people don't behave how you ask them to behave. People behave how you let them behave. Let that sink in. Like, it doesn't matter what you say when it comes to boundaries. It doesn't matter what you say in terms of how you want to be treated. All that matters is what you do and what you tolerate. That's actually what the form of communication that tells people where your limits are.

Yes, I love that. All right, moving on to number two. Communicate all expectations. Don't over promise.

The silence. I love on communicating the silence. You're looking at me, I'm looking at you. Okay. Communicate all expectations. Don't over relationship. Well, listen, I think if you assume the other person and this is a business relationship or a, you know, romantic relationship or friendship relationship, if you assume that the other person knows what you want, and then all of a sudden they're not doing what you want, that's not on them, that's on you, because you never made it clear. And if you assume that the other person knows what you're thinking, your customer, your business partner, your romantic partner, but you don't tell them what you're thinking, even if it should be wildly obvious.

That'S just called passive aggressiveness. Yeah.

Yep. And that's on.

And we all know people feel that and don't want to hang out with those people.

That's on you. That's not on them. So your communication has to be lifting the curtain, so to speak, all the time on what you are thinking, what you expect, what you want. And the bolder you can get with this type of communication, the better your relationships are gonna get in business and in life.

Yeah, I literally, if I even sense people being passive aggressive, AKA not communicating their needs, and then like, acting strange, like you're Supposed to know or you know what I mean, what they're thinking or why they're upset. I literally will run the other way first. I'll try to ask, but typically those people won't speak anyway. But I'll just be like, nope, this is not a relationship that's going to go well because you are not communicating what you need. In turn, you are going to make me the bad person because that's just what happens when you don't communicate your needs. Like, if I never communicated my needs to you, Chris, ever, and I just like, let it stew and took the higher road and took that martyr road of like, well, I'm just going to keep on, like, taking the high road.

And oh, they should know.

Yeah, they should know. And I can't believe they don't know. What do you think? I'm going to be the world's biggest bitch. And you're going to feel it. You're going to feel it. So with that said, communicate all expectations and don't over promise. Because when you don't communicate, it's an unspoken agreement. Like you're. You're not letting people know what you want or need and then expecting them to is literally asking for failure in your relationship, personal relationships. But I have to tell you, your business will not last. You will have so many problems and so much turnover if you don't start to understand that your needs are actually important. And you can speak them up and say them, whether it's your needs or needs of the company. Because what will happen is you'll be so focused on not getting what you need and so resentful of your people, your family, your employees, your relationships that you won't have any room for any of the things that your business actually requires. And that also requires speed of choices and speaking your needs quickly.

I feel like we didn't touch on the don't over promise part of this. Number two, real quick.

Yes.

And I feel like it needs to be said like, here's where people overpromise on accident. They will say they can do something better in business than they know they can do. And then when they can't quite do what they said, the person is disappointed that they didn't deliver on their promise, not disappointed about the level of service had you set the bar there to begin with. Because if you actually communicated what you know you could do in business through your product instead of overstating it, then that's where the customer's expectations would have been set. It would have been good enough to make the Sales still. And there won't be any of that disappointment because you had set the bar too high. Now think about how this applies in life too. Your significant other or your friends, hey, I promise I'll be there at 6 and you show up at 6:30 and you knew that there's going to be bad traffic. You should have just told them 6:30. Because when you over promise, they're not disappointed that you guys couldn't start dinner till 6:30. They're disappointed that you said 6 for the fifth time in a row. Yeah, right. Or in a relationship. Yeah, don't worry, I'm going to get all these things done on Saturday. And you know that you can't get all those things done on Saturday. They're not disappointed that you didn't get them all done. They're disappointed that you said you were going to get them all. You over promised and that's where you set their sights. And when you should have said, I promise I'm going to get half the things on this list done. But my goal is to get almost all the things on the list done. Now that would have set the sights differently and they would have been elated.

Yeah, I won't refer anybody's business who has over promised to me and just can't seem to ever get what they say. But I would refer if they told less, if they said they could do less and actually accomplished it. Because what you don't realize is that people just want a few of those things done. And sometimes the over promising might land you the job, but it's going to lose your reputation.

Yeah. You don't have to over promise over promise to make a sale. All you have to do is promise accurately deliver and then that customer will make the sale to the next one for you through a referral.

Okay, so last one. Number three. Momentum loves speed. Sounds stupid. Like, duh, momentum loves speed. But that's how you get it, is by taking fast actions.

Well, I always teach that momentum is the most valuable thing you can have. The hardest thing you can get and the easiest thing you can lose, I mean, truly is thinking about that momentum. We all know that momentum is that feeling of like, I'm printing money right now, or oh my God, this relationship's going great, or wow, I've gone this many days in a row, you know, eating healthy, you're not drinking. Momentum is the most valuable thing you can have. It's where the results come from. Stacking win on win on win on win. But it's really the toughest thing to get, like, it takes the most work getting into momentum, and it takes the least amount of work, unfortunately, to fall out of momentum. So that's why it's so important to not, once you get yourself there, to keep doing the same things that got you into momentum, to stay in momentum.

Yeah, It's a lot of big, scary actions all at once. Like, it's a lot of casting fishing poles all at once. Like, let's say we're deep sea fishing and it's just you out on the boat.

What do you know about deep sea fishing? It can be just you on the boat.

Oh, I'm saying we're using this. This is an analogy and a really good one. I'm deep sea fishing. It's just me out on the boat and I have to come back with a blue whaler. Wait, what's a marlin? A blue marlin.

On a Boston Whaler.

On a bot. I'm on a Boston Whaler and I have to come back with a big blue marlin. And I don't know if blue marlins can get up to £100, but this one is £100. So with that said, here's how it is. You put out all of these different fishing poles and you're scared shitless because you're out there alone. And if more than one blue marlin bites on that pole, you're screwed. Like, you're going to have to, like, overextend yourself. So that's why people are so scared of massive action. And what happens is, all of a sudden you've casted all these lines, you're all alone, and you get a couple blue marlin all at once. No, you get three. That's why people are afraid. And all of a sudden you are reeling three lines and at once you don't feel like you can yet. You just have to dig deep and find how to keep doing it. Because you know that you have a village to feed, by the way. They're relying on you to meet your goals, to beat whatever that is. And that's what it feels like. I think a lot of people are afraid because of, you know, you're going to feel alone. You're going to feel like, I've never done this before. You're going to feel like, what if it all comes at once? Or what if it doesn't come at all? And you're going to either disappoint people or you're going to be totally overwhelmed.

I just showed. I googled and showed Laurie a picture of a blue marlin.

That's exactly what I was thinking of. Didn't a blue marlin stab somebody once with that's. I think I remember a special that we watched. Like it jumped up on.

On. I mean, look at these things. They're pretty brutal.

Oh yeah, that's what it was. Wow. I knew that's what I was thinking about.

I feel like I just away from your analogy by googling this picture and showing it to you. But you would never be deep sea fishing by yourself ever in the middle of the ocean.

Of course I wouldn't, but that's a great analogy. There's a lot of analogies we use to not that will never ever happen. Okay. I'm not. I use the rocket ship analogy all the time. I'm not gonna be on a rocket ship ever. I mean, maybe I will.

Who knows?

So anyway, just want to say momentum, love speed, Money, loves speed. Success, love speed, massive action. You can't hesitate. Like when that blue marlin is on my line, I'm not hesitating. I'm not like, oh no, this blue marlin is really bending my pole. I think it's going to be there for a long time.

I'll tell you what. Like speed other people. So if you wonder why people don't want to partner with you, with you, with your business, it's because you look like you are lethargically going through, through it right now. If you want to wonder why someone's not like attracted to you as a partner, it's because you're kind of lethargically going towards your goals and going through life. If you wonder why your friends aren't like, you know, holding you up is like the one that they can't wait to get together with, it's because you're just kind of lethargically or at a speed of mediocrity, you know, doing what you said you're going to do. I am telling you, people love speed. People are attracted to speed. And if you can show that you are screaming towards your goals in any form, in any way, that's what people want to be a part of.

And they come flocking growth as well. Right? Like even in conversations. Like if I keep meeting with the same friend and I'm like, what's new?

Nothing.

Okay, great.

Yeah.

Like what do you. Or at least like you don't want to talk. Yeah, it's all about, it's all about growth. I mean, have you ever thought of that? Like the friends that you maybe don't want to be around is because you don't feel challenged by their questions or their conversation. So if anything else, stay on top of speed with growth for your partner, for your friends, for life for you. Because, Chris, we were just talking about this, like when you're not challenged, talking about you and I on walks when you're not challenged, even if you're doing the same thing and you're like, no, I feel challenged, like my schedule is booked. If you're not actually mentally, emotionally in growth challenged, you're probably feeling a little depressed or anxious.

Yep, absolutely. It's is the killer of, you know, positivity of momentum of all those things. If you are not constantly in working on a state of growth which challenges you, then you're just going to feel blah.

Yeah, absolutely.

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Well, what we would love is for you to tag Chris W. Harder and me Lori harder, and let us know what your biggest takeaway was on this. Did you have a moment where you're like, oh, that's what's happening, or oh, my God, yes, this is proven for me. Like, I absolutely see this in my life or I see this in my business, or I see this in my relationships. We love to know who we're talking to.

And at the time that we record this, we have less than five spots left for fast foundations.

That's insane.

Entry and mid level Mastermind, which, by the way, we took virtual and that cut the investment in half because we passed the savings of not having a venue on you guys.

Yeah, we want to work with you because you're the people who are actually wanting to better your life and who have been listening to these podcasts and who are applying it. We really, really, really want to be able to work with you, see your face, know what your business is about, and help. Because we have had. I. I mean, I can honestly sit here and say we have had some of the biggest transformations that I have seen in the world of especially, like, foundational masterminds.

Well, I'm getting the question a lot of times if I just have an idea, but I'm ready to take action. Is it for me? Yes. Because we had two people in the last one went from idea to $20,000 launch. The other person went from idea to $45,000 launch. Some people sometimes ask, hey, is it too. Am I too beginner for this? You know, I've barely started my business. We had somebody in the last one that went from $2,000 a month to $15,000 a month. Every single month we had another person that went from $25,000 a month to $150,000. That one's a little extreme, but hey, why not you? Why can't that be you? So go check it out. Fast foundations with an S at the end. Fastfoundations.com handful of spots left. Can't wait to see who grabs them. Every year there's like a few special relationships that come out of that new crop of individuals that I know I personally grow from. So go check it out. Fast Foundation.

Until next time.

We'll see you.

Bye bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.