587. You Are Enough - with Panache Desai

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Once you can see through the illusion and understand that that carrot that's being dangled in front of you isn't leading you anywhere of any value, at that point you can begin to recognize how blessed you are and how lucky you are to be where you are.

Welcome to welcome to the Earn your Happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of the Bliss Project, three time fitness world champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears. Connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go.

If you've been feeling stressed or overwhelmed, I'm telling you, this next guest is going to help your nervous system. Just take a deep breath and calm down. That's exactly what happened to me on this podcast episode. And my guest today is Panache Desai. He is the best, bestselling author, thought leader, business and life catalyst. His loving, compassionate presence and unique power of insight has transformed countless of individuals. He has a gift of energetic transformation, and he empowers people to break free from suffering and limitation. So he delivers astonishing levels of personal and professional success. He's been interviewed by Oprah Winfrey on Super Soul Sunday. He's collaborated alongside Deepak Chopra and also Reverend Michael Beckwith at the Agape International Spiritual center and many, many other incredible human beings. You guys, his book, you Are Enough is so incredible. You're going to want to grab it right after this podcast.

Panache, thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm really excited to chat with you.

Wonderful to be here with you and with all of the people that are tuning in from all over the world.

Okay. So sometimes I get on the show with people and I immediately slow down a bit because they're more slow and more present. So that's how I feel with you. So that's. Thank you for just even being so present that you make me kind of slow down and just think and get out, get more inside of my body. So I know that you were just telling me that you're doing some incredible meditation with people right now. Was this something that you had planned, or was it for the time being, or where did that idea come from?

We began to become aware of what was happening in China in January, but we didn't know the full extent of what it was and how quickly it was going to spread all over the world. One of the variables that we were dealing with was the fact that the Lunar New Year is one of the busiest times when every expat Chinese citizen goes home to be with their family. And so at that point, there was an awareness that COVID 19 was going to break containment from China and spread. So that was kind of in the back of my mind. And yet it Wasn't in the forefront of my experience because my book came out on February 20, subsequently began a 22 city book tour, had just finished the first leg of it, came home. And that Wednesday I received the signal that I was waiting for, which was the World Health Organization declaring a global pandemic, which was March the eleventh. As soon as that happened, I called up Chris, who runs the operations side of the business. And I just said, chris, we need to immediately cancel all of the remaining speaking dates. And I said, what I need to do is be available for people and remind them that it's entirely possible for them right now to be going through this from a place of calm, from a place of centeredness, and from a place of connection. And I understood that that was important for two levels. Firstly, when we are able to shift who we are at the level of feeling, we shift our neurology, we shift our biology, and we shift our experience of our reality. And secondly, the more we could create this kind of global coherence of calm all over the world, the more it would act as a buffer for every other person who was triggered, who was activated, and who was just simply overwhelmed by what was occurring. And so that following Monday, we began what has now become a global meditation movement. We're about 60 days deep into this now, and every morning at 9am Eastern, I'm joined by what is now about 7,800 people live to offer their love, to connect with peace, and to support the world in remembering that our essential nature is peace and that we have the option to respond to what's happening instead of react.

What are some themes that you're seeing come out of that? What has been kind of the conversation or what have people been saying about it?

I think initially the fear was around the first kind of question was what is the virus? There was a lot of ambiguity around what the virus actually was when it first appeared on the scene. And it's very hard to get any kind of accurate data out of China. So at that point we had to kind of wait to see how it was spreading and what was happening as a result of it spreading. And so the first immediate concern was for the safety of a global community that numbers in the millions of people. And so we set up very basic protocols to help people just navigate what they were doing from a place where they were minimizing their risk of exposure. Preceding that, then I have seven people that I mentor personally that have multinational corporations and global footprints. So we had to begin to help them. Basically, the short version is put their Businesses on life support keep the core organs functioning and get rid of everything that was extraneous or everything that was just something that they believed they needed but didn't actually need, so that they could weather out this window of time. And thirdly, to help people recognize that the calmer they were, the more they were boosting their immunity. And in boosting their immunity, they were setting themselves up to navigate this new reality of COVID 19 from a place of empowerment. And I'm happy to say, Laurie, that immediately going into service and immediately having actionable steps that people could take has allowed everyone that I've spoken to to navigate this from a very empowered place, regardless of what was going on in their lives, whether it was on a personal level, a relationship level, a business level. I immediately began to make my time available, get on the phone with people and help them set up protocols and processes to make the most of this global timeout and this global reset. And again, when we realize that we have the option of coming from a place of connection, when we realize that we have the option to navigate this through the conscious recognition that what's unfolding is an opportunity for us to reevaluate who we are, to redesign our lives and to look at what we're living for, we make the most of these opportunities. And so the conversations have varied over time. We're now at a point in the life cycle of the virus where the next kind of question is, what is the vaccine? We've gotten through every other phase of the contemplation and every other phase of the life cycle of this initial crisis. And so the next question that we're kind of sitting with in an open inquiry is, what is the vaccine?

What do you think for people who maybe are just starting to navigate parts of this for themselves emotionally, Maybe they were still in the upheaval of what's going on and fear and worried about their jobs or whatever that looks like for them. What type of question do you think they should be asking themselves? Or what can they do to get to a baseline where they can be in more of a place of love, to be open to ideas and new decisions?

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I think the first thing that everybody needs to really just allow to kind of land in their hearts is they're not broken, they don't need to be healed and they don't need to be fixed and that they're not being punished. That's the first thing. The second thing is that who they are at the level of their humanity is beautiful. And we've received some pretty intense programming and conditioning around how we're meant to be as human beings and around how we're meant to show up. And that inherently is single handedly the limitation that we're navigating. And so, for example, right now, if you're present to, let's say, your anger and frustration, what I want you to do is recognize that that anger and that frustration has a place that it's not about anything outside of you. That that anger and that frustration has resided within you for the majority of your life. And the fact that it's coming up and this crisis is the catalyst is your opportunity to breathe into it, to welcome it, to no longer make that part of you wrong. You see, this reductionist model of transformation that we've been holding onto, where we're supposed to get rid of things and we're supposed to be without an ego, and we're supposed to be free of our anger and our sadness and our fear doesn't work. Transformation at the level of the mind doesn't work. At some point we have to cultivate the courage to turn and face ourselves and lovingly embrace who we are. Because the age of bypassing and the age of adapting is over. We've consumed all of the content, all of the information, we've gone to all of the workshops and all of the seminars, and yet we are still fundamentally at odds with who we are as a human being every day. And so where that work ends, the blessing and the gift of vibrational transformation begins. And that is showing ourselves the love, the empathy, the kindness and the patience that we so readily display for every other human being. So what you're feeling right now is your opportunity to be empowered. What you're experiencing is what's coming up in order for you to go to a whole other place inside of yourself that you didn't even know existed. Because in my experience, our pure potential, the truth of who we are, has become enshrouded underneath a veil of unresolved emotional content. And so the more we can accept what we're feeling, the more we can accept who we are. The more we can begin to work with our design, the more we realize that being human is actually a blessing and a miracle and it's not a limitation at all. And in the acceptance of our humanity, that greater potential that lives inside of us can emerge and can be expressed through who we are for the benefit of not just ourselves, but our families and for the world at large.

So around the. Sometimes I think, okay, I'm just going to. I don't quite have what I'm going to say fully there yet, so I'm going to work this out with you. So sometimes it's like the attachment to what I.

We.

A lot of different people that I'm hearing from right now thinks is normal. Like that baseline of what we were told, either by our family or from, you know, outside influence, whatever that looks like, of thinking, what is normal? Am I supposed to be happy all the time? How do I even accept these feelings? Because they're really uncomfortable and I don't want to be here. Like, I'm always trying to strive for that next better emotion. And that's a lot of what we hear in self development. So how much are we supposed to accept when we don't feel good? And how do we know when it's like, okay, you're kind of sitting in this not feeling good for a long time, and you're a little bit over it and you want to feel good again. So, like, how do we bridge that gap between accepting and actually moving toward what feels like a better emotion daily?

So I think that all of that striving and trying to hold onto a baseline of normal is the biggest issue of all. I don't want to be normal. I want to be natural, which means I want to authentically be who I am. And so what I've experienced personally is that when we give our attention to what we're feeling, it transforms. The more we become aware of what we're experiencing inside of ourselves, the more it transforms. And really, that's the only way the transformation unfolds. Feeling something, for example, sadness, and then all of a sudden buying into this false notion of a hierarchy of human emotion, and then reaching for sadness or reaching for joy instead of feeling authentically experiencing that sadness, you've just bypassed. You've just taken that golden opportunity that you had to be with this part of you that needs your attention. And instead of going there because it's uncomfortable, you've all of a sudden reached for something that in the short term makes you feel better. The only Problem is that that inherent sadness doesn't go away. So the entire transformational model that we're working with is fundamentally incomplete. You see, we have to at some point recognize that we are light, vibration and frequency, that everything is an energy, that emotions are nothing more than energies in motion. And the only reason why we struggle with our emotions is because we've been so conditioned to compartmentalize them into good and bad, right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable. And the bigger conversation is why? Because from the moment we were born, we began to all of a sudden be informed by what was happening around us. And through that being informed by what was happening around us, we began to create this baseline feeling of not being enough. And that's where all of the striving and all of the achieving and all of the attaining comes from. And Laurie, you and I both know firsthand that fame, success and money actually aren't the cure. They're not the antidote. In some ways, actually, they make you more miserable because you've exhausted every material possibility and potential that's dangled in front of you as a solution. And yet, even though you have all of those things internally, you feel like an absolute fraud because you're not at peace with yourself. You're not in harmony with yourself. And you and I both also know that when we peel back the veil of transformation and we look behind the curtain, very rarely is there a coherent expression on front of the stage and behind the stage. And that's because, again, people aren't living from this place of alignment inside of themselves. Instead of operating from this feeling of being enough, they're on a mission in a crusade to prove that they're the biggest and the best and they can have the biggest venues and that they can deliver transformation at scale, even though it's fundamentally coming at a price. The cost of their health, their well being, their relationships, you know, it's coming at the cost of their lives. And so as it relates to what we're going through, the best thing that you can do is simply end your resistance to your experience instead of trying to change it. Accept it and embrace it and welcome it. And a great analogy is, you know, I'm a father of four kids. I go to the playground a lot, and my kids love the, you know, the jungle gym and the slide and everything. And there's two kinds of parenting that happens. There's a child that bangs its head, falls over and runs up to its mother and the mother says, you're embarrassing me. I didn't raise you to be this way, what's wrong with you? And that just further traumatizes the child and there's no completion. The second form of mother gets down on the child's level, so show me where it hurts. Meets the child in that moment of sadness, and then in meeting that child in that moment of sadness, the child is then restored to wholeness and returns to playing again. And we in any moment have the opportunity to be that parent to ourselves. We can either embrace ourselves, love ourselves, and affirm who we are, and make the commitment to know our true selves, to know our essential self, or we can continue to avoid, we can continue to be distracted, we can continue to accumulate toys and material possessions, and we continue to miss fundamentally the whole point of being human. And so this is where we are. And what you're articulating is a broader inflection point actually in the transformational industry. Because when you look at personal development, what's it really about? It's about taking who you are as an ego and making you more optimal as an ego. What's spiritual development about? Well, now spiritual development is about in some way, shape or form, cultivating this secondary layer called a spiritual ego. But the problem is that in both of those scenarios, you're not transforming. In the first scenario, you're trying to success your way out of suffering because you don't feel good enough. So you're in a mission to prove that you are, and you're going to do it through your business or through whatever your expression is in the world. And then the second scenario, you're trying to enlighten your way out of suffering. And that doesn't work either. At some point we have to realize that what we're doing and the framework that we've been operating inside of for the last 40 or 50 years in the US is an incomplete framework. It's like if you were doing a workout and that workout wasn't getting the results that you knew you had the potential to get from that workout, at some point you would abandon it. And so what we need to do is abandon every pre existing framework of transformation because it doesn't work. And it doesn't work because people are still suffering. So how do we end that suffering? By recognizing that who we are is not the problem, that we're simply living from the outside in instead of the inside out. That because we don't value ourselves because our worth and our values tied up in what we're able to produce, what we're able to create, how big our social media following is that we're living for this facade. Instead of living for all these false metrics for what success is, how about we reorient our entire lives around how we want to feel? And I've discovered that when we actually choose to feel peaceful and we source every choice and decision from that place of peace, we can have all of that same success and have all of that same accomplishment without any of the pain. Because from that place, we're not doing it to prove something about ourselves. We're not doing it to be better. We're simply just doing it as a natural expression of who we are at the level of our essence, which is love.

Okay, so a few questions around that I have in my life and a lot of the listeners that are on here. So if you have a vision and you have a dream, do you right now? And I'm doing a lot of reassessment in my life, kind of that question is what I'm asking, like, how can I do this in a more enjoyable way, in a way that makes me feel energized and I have more fun? And who can I do this with that I enjoy more? So can you tell me? I really like to just have a couple questions or kind of learn the perspective of Is there a good kind of guiding place? Whether it's how you start to think in the morning, or what do you do when you have a goal or you want to achieve something, or when you were writing your book, or when you have this vision. But there's that dance between doing strategy and achieving it and doing all of these different things to make sure you exhaust all possibilities.

In order to reach.

That, or do you really come from a place of is that really what you do in the morning? How can I do this in the most peaceful, harmonious way? And do you see the results that you would like to see?

So the first thing that you really need to know about me is I'm very I want what I have. That's the first thing. And that's an important step in this process. I want what I have. At some point, we have to choose what we have before we get kind of enticed by this conversation of more and 10xing and growing and becoming more. Because the thing is that if you're doing that on a platform or a foundation of quicksand, it doesn't matter how much you scale and how much you grow. It's not sustainable. So I have supported people in recreating their entire lives around how they want to feel. Why? Because when you think about it, why are we building all these companies and doing all of these things in the first place? Because we want to feel loved, we want to feel peaceful, we want to feel happy, right? But the problem is that we're not tending to that emotion and that feeling through every step of the creative process. So the first thing is, if you have to get upset, overwhelmed and stressed out in order to have it, it's not meant for you. You're already heading in the wrong direction. The other thing that you need to know is you can't miss what's meant for you. So every single one of us is here to have the experience of being human. And as a part of that experience, we'll generate a right livelihood, we'll have an expression, we'll have a way of making an impact in the world. But it's not what we're being told it is. Bigger isn't better, and more isn't always more. Because sometimes more can just become vacuous and empty. And when you have more, then you have to take care of more. So instead of having one house with a full time staff and having the overhead of that, then you need the vacation home, then you've got another full time staff, you have the vacation, you have the headache of that, and what happens is you just continue to produce, you become better at producing, but then you also just start to consume at a higher price point. So it's a never ending vicious cycle. And you just continue that process until you get to about the age of 65, depending on how well you've done, and then you retire. And at that point you're meant to live out your days until you transition from this earth. Well, you and I both know that life is about more than just being a unit of production and a unit of consumption. Why? Because again, you and I both know people and we've both been through all of these kind of layers of life and living to where we know that there's not a single ounce of happiness or peace in it. And so for me, it's always, why don't we start from where we want to finish? If you want to build a sustainable business, you want to be sustainable in your relationship, you want to progress in your relationship with your body, you want to evolve in any meaningful way, then if you're doing it from any other place other than peace, then you're starting from dissonance and that's where you'll finish. And so when we build our lives around how we want to feel, our life becomes a reflection of that feeling. And Everything becomes an extension of that feeling.

There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.

One of them for you.

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It.

So good. Okay, so I'm just gonna unload all my questions that are coming up in my life.

And you know what?

Is too.

Laurie, here's the thing. Right, Laurie, at some point, your hustle becomes a liability.

Yeah, for sure.

Something starts to break down. Like, you know, we've seen it over and over again. Like, something starts to break down because that hustle becomes a liability. Here's why. Because it's being driven by pain and fear.

Oh, I have lived that. I have definitely lived that. And it took that breakdown to be like, my God, this is not working. And, you know, just like you said in the beginning of this, it was that. It's that moment of wow. I actually just, you know, after achieving a lot of things in my early 30s, kind of all at once, because, long story short, I just had. I experienced the drug of achievement in my mid-20s, and I never experienced that before. And I just was like, oh, my God, this is amazing. And then all of a sudden, when you start to achieve everything that you thought that you were hoping for in this lifetime, the more and more I noticed that I was getting actually unhappy because I was checking all those things off that I thought were going to bring me happiness, that actually they were great in the moment. I'm not going to lie. They were beautiful in the moment, but they did not last long. It was simply that same old story, like, on to the next. So my question for you is around when you have this vision in this dream, and you are coming from that place, let's say you feel like you're in a great place of wow. I'm setting up my days. They're feeling really good. I'm feeling proud of myself. I'm really finding that I'm keeping myself in that place of peace or happiness or really aligning my life, feeling really connected. And maybe your vision requires bringing in other people, or maybe you're starting to raise money for something, and then that expectation can come in. Is there work that you recommend around when you start to feel the pressure from bringing on other people or meeting other people's expectations.

So I've always been blessed with regard to this because I had a very early experience of this. I once studied philosophy in university, but my grandfather had immigrated to London with about three pounds in his pocket and five kids and had subsequently gone on to become very successful. And I had a lot of respect for him. Being Indian, unless you're a doctor or A lawyer, or at that point, computer engineer wasn't even a thing. Pretty much a doctor or lawyer. An engineer, you're pretty much a failure. I want to study philosophy. Of course, it makes perfect sense now. And my grandfather sat down with me and said, what are you going to do with the philosophy degree? At least if you do something business related, you can help run one of the businesses or help me in some way, or create something of your own. And so I relented. This is what begins to happen, is when we don't feel like we're enough, we begin to compromise. We begin to live for the approval of others, we begin to live for the acceptance of others. And the more we do that, the more miserable we become. And so other people's expectations are none of our business. If you have an investor that comes on, if that investor isn't aligned with who you are, it's going to be nothing but a dissonant relationship from the get go, and it's probably going to end in a lawsuit. And this is why every single person that I mentor personally, we don't just look at the core business, but we also look at the sources of financing, we look at vendor relationships, we look at every level of life and living. Because you really need to have peace and harmony be the baseline. Why? Because that's how nature works. Everything in nature operates from a place of peace and harmony. It's always in balance. We're just the only species on this planet that's forgotten these inherent principles. And so whether it be you're starting to gain traction and you're starting to gain market share and you want to scale, what you need to do is work with people who have an absence of need. I don't want to work with anybody who has a need. Those relationships typically are very clean relationships, especially clean business dynamics, because when you can both meet each other as equals and recognize your value inherently in that you have all of the leverage. So I always say this to people. The person who has no need has all of the leverage. If you can walk into any room and not have any need, you have all the leverage. I'll tell you something that the majority of expressions that are wonderful that have the capacity to change the world or have the capacity to make a global impact go left. Right around the time when they get drugged by this ambition of scaling and expanding. It's right around that time when you begin to open yourself up to influences that aren't in harmony with who you are and ideas and opinions that aren't in harmony with who you are. And typically, it's that point where you compromise your harmony for a bag of money, and then you have to live with that decision. But the problem is that you know that you've sold out. You know that you've compromised who you are, because it doesn't feel good. And so why engage in any business transaction or why engage in any form of expansion that doesn't feel good? Right. Why do that? You see? And this is the thing again. It's that drug of more. Right? Yes, it's okay, great, you're making a million dollars. Wonderful. Now you need an art collection. Make 10 million. Okay, great. Now you're making 10 million. Now you need a yacht. Make 100 million. And it's never ending. But the thing is that when you've seen the end result, when you've actually met enough billionaires, you can see that it's all an illusion, that it's not real, that there's not an ounce of enjoyment that they have around any of this. And so at that point, once you can see through the illusion and understand that that carrot that's being dangled in front of you isn't leading you anywhere of any value, at that point, you can begin to recognize how blessed you are and how lucky you are to be where you are. And also, patience is really important, too. I think that everyone's in a hurry to scale and to grow. For what? What's the rush? If someone believes in you now and someone believes in your business now, they're going to believe in you in two years from now, when you've gone through all of the internal development and matured into who you need to be in order to handle that level of success. The point is that, again, every single person that's listening to this has a very unique destiny and a very unique potential. Don't compromise that destiny and that potential for anything, because you'll only regret it. And once you accept that bag of money and you compromise your integrity and who you are in order for any kind of material gain, you will never feel good about yourself. You never feel good about your success. It won't mean anything anymore.

You guys, I'm so excited to share this news with you. I just got to shoot the COVID of Strong Fitness magazine. I've been a longtime lover and a longtime reader of this magazine, and this is a huge honor to. Because it's the boss issue, it's the power issue. It's all about how having discipline and motivation to work out translates to the principles of entrepreneurship as well. So Strong Fitness Magazine is a national women's health and fitness publication committed to motivate, educate and empower women to live their healthiest, happiest lives. In addition to workouts and fitness, they also report on the latest and most important issues impacting women's physical and mental health. In every issue you're going to get recipes, you're going to get nutrition advice, and it's going to allow you to enjoy a balanced lifestyle without dieting. Because who doesn't love to eat?

You guys?

I'm starting an alcohol company that says a lot. The content in each issue is curated to keep you motivated and inspired, sharing powerful stories of real life women from all walks of life who've overcome difficult obstacles through resilience with the help of fitness. At Strong, they celebrate that all women possess strength. So I've partnered with them to make sure that you get a discount on your subscription. So to subscribe and receive this November December 2020 issue featuring myself with this article, all about fitness and entrepreneurship and how they share the same lane, you're going to want to go to strongfitnessmag.com Loriharder and use the promo code getlori G E T L O r I all caps to save $3 on your subscription. Subscribing means that you receive this copy to your mailbox so you can avoid the stores and you'll get it before it hits newsstands. So you'll also save 50% off the newsstand price. So right now all you have to do is go to strong fitnessmag.com Lori Harder use the promo code get Lori all caps G E T L O R I to save $3 on your subscription and 50% off of the newsstand price. For real, you are going to want to grab this because I'm sharing all about how everything that you've learned about fitness also applies to launching that business. You are so much stronger than you think. You got to start that business, girl. So many of you that listen to this podcast are either in business, have a business, or starting a business. And I will tell you that resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. So that's just as crucial in business as it is in health and everything that we talk about on this podcast. So if you're in charge of hiring or you just need some help, Indeed is here to help. Indeed.com is the number one job site in the world because Indeed gets you the best people fast. Unlike other sites, Indeed gives you full control and payment flexibility over your hiring. You only pay for what you need. You can pause your account at any time and there are no long term contracts. Plus, it provides powerful tools to make your search much easier, like Sponsored Jobs, which are shown to be three and a half times more likely to result in a hire. With 73% of online job seekers visiting Indeed each month, Indeed is going to get you the most important hire you need, just like they have for over 3 million businesses. You guys, I can tell you that hiring and finding your team or any help is one of the hardest things that we do in this business and being an entrepreneur and Indeed is going to make that so much easier on you. So right now Indeed is offering our listeners a free 75 credit to boost your job post, which means more quality candidates will see it fast. Try Indeed out with a free $75 credit at indeed.comhappy H A P P Y this is the best offer available, literally anywhere. Go right now to indeed.com/happy. Terms and conditions apply. Offer valid through September 30th. If you listen to this podcast, you know that it is all about constantly growing and that is because leaders are learners. And that is absolutely why I love this sponsor skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of inspiring classes that you can continue to learn from. It's for creative people, curious people, people who want to deepen their skills, deepen existing passions and get lost in creativity. So some of my favorite classes on skillshare are the marketing classes. You guys know that I am launching a new company right now and I can go and look and learn all about how to grow my social media or the one that I'm loving right now is the Staples of Branding by Jeff Staple. I absolutely am obsessed with learning all of these new things that I know are going to help my business. So skillshare offers memberships with meaning. They have so much to explore, real projects to create, and you also get the support of fellow creatives. You know I am all about Tribe in making sure you don't do this thing alone. It empowers you to accomplish real growth. It's also incredibly affordable, especially when compared to pricey in person classes or workshops. There's an annual subscription and it's less than $10 a month. So explore your creativity and get two free months of premium membership at skillshare.com forward/happy. I'm not sure if you heard that because it's two free months of premium membership at skillshare.com forward/happy. Get started and join today by heading to skillshare.com forward, slash, happy. That's H, A, P, P, Y in all caps. So two whole free months. Unlimited access to thousands of classes for free. You're gonna want to check it out. You're going to love it.

Oh, so good. I'm telling you. I swear, my podcast, I'm just like, this is always so freaking timely. It's crazy. So amazing. Amazing. Thank you for that. How do you. How does one filter there you talk a lot about potential and possibility. How does one filter that feeling of. Especially if you feel like you're a high achiever and that makes you happy. Like you feel like you have this bigness and it wants to be expressed and you're really enjoying certain things. But how do you differentiate what is the filter? Is it the same questions or series of things that you kind of ask yourself, or do you fast forward all the way to end results and possibilities of this vision to see if it's actually something that would ultimately make you happy? Or is there a filtering process for businesses, for people that you do?

I think that ultimately for me, and you're a wonderful example of this. Right? So. So your impact isn't actually being made through what you do. It's being made through your heart. Laurie, you are so loving and so compassionate and so empathic. And that's the sizzle. Your authenticity, your vulnerability. You're willing to be transparent about your experience. And the reason why I'm sharing this with you is because when you are naturally being of service. So we're just going to exchange some business terminology just for some spiritual terminology. So, for example, adding value is just being of service, right? What's being of service? It's naturally, authentically expressing who you are in this world. All you're doing, and this is why I love you so much, is just authentically expressing who you are. And you just authentically share all of it. So at that point, there's a complete freedom in that. At that point, there's also a complete point of relatability and impact that you have. Why? Because it doesn't need to be the way everyone else is presenting it. It doesn't need to be this kind of perfect, photoshopped version of life and living. It can be real, it can be honest, and it's that reality and it's that human element that makes the impact. And so what I would say to you if you were starting a business or starting some kind of creative expression or endeavor is make sure that it's as natural as breathing. Like, when I look at you doing what you're doing. It's natural. Yeah. You love to challenge yourself, but it's effortless. You make it look effortless. Why? Because it's authentically who you are. And when a brand is an extension of who somebody authentically is, it will naturally evolve and grow. Why? Because there are so many points of connectivity and so many points of relatability for people that they can't help but fall in love with you. Because you're highlighting every aspect of the journey. Not just the highlight reel, but all of it in the context of filters. I think that the main thing is, does this feel natural to me? You know, am I putting on a facade? Am I pretending? Do I need to be somebody other than myself in order to have this? You know, am I sleeping at night? You know, for example, if you're riddled with anxiety, maybe you're heading in the wrong direction. Right? If you're experiencing heightened levels of depression other than just a natural chemical imbalance that you've got this genetic or hereditary, then maybe something's trying to capture your attention. And again, for me, that's kind of why I wrote the book. Because it all comes back to operating from feeling like you're enough. In working with people now, for over 20 years, I've seen that the root cause of every addiction is not feeling like you're enough. The reason why people sabotage and crash and burn is because they don't feel like they're enough. Because who we are as human beings hasn't been valued. We don't realize that innately, we have a value. So all of a sudden, we're trying to prove our worth and our value. We're trying to do it in relationships. If I bend over backwards and turn myself into some pretzel version of myself, then maybe my spouse and partner will love me. Right? And we're constantly doing it. But the very second we start playing that game and we start pretending, we're already guaranteeing our misery and our suffering. And so, again, is it natural? Like, when I look at you, it's absolutely natural. Right. Are you displaying every aspect of the journey? Yes, you are. You're very honest. You're very candid. You share everything. You wear your heart on your sleeve. Right? Is that easy to do? No, but it's the only real way to do it. It. Why? Because that human element is what allows you to make the impact that you're here to make. And that vulnerability is your impact. I could take you and put you in any other arena. And because you've got this down, you would do well, because you understand the power of human connection, you understand the power of authenticity, and you understand that being in the public eye means being transparent. That's the only way that you have longevity. And so you're a perfect example for so many people of this.

Well, that just made me cry.

One.

Because it was such a good reminder. And I'm in a very new arena right now. And as much as I feel I'm staying true to myself, I get lost. It's really easy to. To go into something new and think that you are missing something because you feel. And I know I'm speaking. I know that when I'm speaking about this, I'm speaking for so many people when I say it, because I've been here so many times before. It's easy to feel like you're missing something in yourself because a feeling of frustration or not knowing the next steps because you're in a new place. So I think sometimes what can happen is that we can go and look to other examples just for, like, a pathway or maybe steps, but we can get really caught in what do I need to be? Who do I need to know? Like, what networks now do I need to go and start to play in? Or people that I need to start to learn about? And, you know, it's this really, like, fine dance for myself where I'm learning, but also I can get really down, right? Like, and frustrated. And, like, is this for me, Is this the wrong path? Wouldn't it feel better if it was the right path? But then the things that get me excited, you know, where you can work on them, I'm like, no, this is so right. But when I go out into the world of, like, what's the next step? That is where I lose myself.

And this is why it's so important, right? Because when I first kind of came out, I didn't have a book. I was just kind of traveling and sharing. I was doing the Deepak Chopra, the Wayne Dyer keynote slot when Wayne was still here, and people couldn't believe it. And all I was doing was being myself and authentically expressing who I was. And when Super Soul Sunday happened, Oprah's first question was, so are you like Deepak? And the reason why I bring that up is because the market lacks imagination. So because I'm Indian, inherently, people want me to be like Deepak because they understand what the lifetime zoning potential of Deepak Chopra is. Or it's relatable for an audience. But I'm not Deepak. I love Deepak. He's like my older brother. I'm not Jay Shetty either. We're both from London, both lived in our shrooms and have a very spiritual background. But I'm not Jay. I'm Panache Desai. And when you realize that your uniqueness is your strength, and when you, especially when you embark on a new venture and you do it from your own unique perspective, like, you'll never meet another spiritual person like me, thank God. I'm just going to share the way I am and I'm just going to give it to you the way that I give it to you. One of the things I love about you is you and I are like the authenticity Tourette's twins. We just can't keep it to ourselves, right? If it's not in alignment, we're just going to say it, right? This is how we are. And so that uniqueness is your superpower. So the market lacks imagination. That's the first thing that you need to understand. So because you're in the fitness industry or because you're in a new venture, whatever that is, all of a sudden they're going to compartmentalize you or categorize you or pigeonhole you so that they can commoditize you. Don't become a commodity ever. Be independent, be unique, express uniquely. Understand that the very second you become a watered down version of you. So in my case, if I actually tried to be like Deepak, Jay wasn't even around at that point. Nobody knew who he was. But let's say now, if I tried to be like Jay, that would be completely inauthentic and it would also invalidate my unique contribution in this world, in the field of spirituality and personal development. So the market lacks imagination. And the market wants to quantify you and it wants to pigeonhole you. Don't fit into any box. Never conform. Don't buy into it. Don't believe it. You know, when you look at, when you look at anyone, like Oprah herself, like, when you look at Oprah, the reason why she's so respected is because she did something that no other African American woman has been able to accomplish. And she did it and she did it and she broke through every ceiling on behalf of who she is. She then opened the door for every other person to walk through that door. Okay? But had she all of a sudden, and she talks about it openly, you know, had she allowed herself to become the watered down version of who she was and began to conform and began to live up to the expectations of other people, then she wouldn't Be the respected human being that she is today. And this is what we have to remember, is that authenticity polarizes. People will either love you or they will hate you. They won't like you. Everyone's going to have an opinion. But what you need to do is remain steadfast to that authenticity, because it is the wind that will carry you to where you're meant to be. Don't ever compromise and don't ever sell out. Don't ever, in any moment, be anyone other than who you are. Be boldly and unapologetically you, because you're enough. And if you think that you don't know something, that's great. And so innovation happens. If you were just doing it the way everyone else was doing it, then everyone will be writing the same books, but the same subjects, having the same conversations. There'd be no innovation. So it takes something to stand there and say, hey, guess what? The entire transformational model right now is fundamentally incomplete, and we need a revision of it. Well, how does that happen? Because we have the courage to stand in our authenticity and deliver that truth into the world that only we have.

The capacity to deliver such a good reminder. And so with that, when it's. Because I think everybody felt that. I mean, I felt that so deeply. It's just when truth hits you, it's just like it's a full body. Yes. You get re. Energized again. You get reminded. You get really clear. And then, you know, sometimes when it's like, I can get in touch with that, I can get in touch with, what does it look like to be me if I was showing up fully me every day, but where my disconnect can come, where I fall right back into the not enoughness is trying to figure out how to be me with a bit of strategy to it. So when it actually comes to laying down a plan or, you know, because now that I'm. Now that so many of us are building different businesses, we need to have some sort of a plan or some sort of framework. So I think, you know, how do you. How do you create frame?

Do you.

Do you help strategize with people, or do you help create, like, a framework for people within. Show up authentically. But we're also going to build this business around this plan.

Yes, but the plan has to be completely flexible because everyone began this year with a vision board and a plan and certain goals they wanted to hit. And then, guess what? Coronavirus. You can go sit in a global timeout for eight weeks of your life and think about your choices and decisions. It's okay to have a plan, but what we have to do is let go of the attachment to that plan. Because what we don't know is the house, right? You have a yearning in your heart to build something, to create something, to express something. But again, it comes back to, okay, what is my unique point of service? What is my unique point of service? Because if you build it around your unique point of service, it becomes effortless. If you're building it around a strategy and you're trying to follow a formula or a predictable model, it doesn't work. This one size fits all transformational model is fundamentally incomplete. We have to understand who the individual is. We have to take some time to get to know who that person is, to get to know what they love doing, to get to know what their passion is, to begin to understand what their unique point of service is, what their unique point of expression is. At that point, you've got a brand, but that brand is just an extension of you and it's effortless. It's not something that you have to figure out and strategize or have some kind of mental plan in your mind around. And the biggest thing for me, Laurie, is that. And there's nothing wrong with it, but the truth is, if you need to do all of that stuff, basically that to me is an indication that you don't trust yourself. That's all it is. You don't believe in what you have to share. So if you're constantly figuring everything out and constantly looking at data points that don't relate to who you are at all, right? All that means is you're not ready. There's some embracing of yourself that needs to happen. There's some inner development that needs to happen. Maybe there's a pivot out of not enough to being enough that needs to happen, but that to me is the indication. In my life, I've never known how it was going to turn out. When I Left London in 2001, I had a green card. I knew one person in New York. Now, thanks to the fact that I've shared who I am in the world, I probably have a sofa to sleep on pretty much in every city throughout the continental United States and probably all over the world, there's someone who loves me and somebody who would feed me because of the difference that I've made in their lives. But how was that difference made? By being myself. We have to redefine business and we have to redefine the rules of business. Because what's happening right now is that when I look at, like, one of my favorite shows is Billions, right? I used to love watching it. I can't stand it anymore. When I. When I look at. When I look at who Bobby Axelrod has to be in order to be that person, it's horrible. You know, and the truth is that there are a lot of people that are on Wall street that are exactly like him that I know personally. Right. So when they were writing this series and then we're writing the role of Bobby Axelrod, they really based it on some interesting people that are real life examples of this. So is that what we want to be? Is that what we want to model? Is that the legacy that we want to leave behind? Because I know why I'm here is to love people. My job is the excuse to which I get to love people. Your job is the excuse to which you get to love people, to be of service to people. And when you start from there and you have that as your framework, it's going to be joyful, it's going to be graceful, it's going to be peaceful, and you're going to love it, because at that point, you're not going to be stressed out and overwhelmed and upset. When I look at you and I look at you in doing what you're doing, the thing I love about you is that you almost go into this zone. I don't even know if you know that about you, but it's like you're not even there. There's no. It's just graceful. It's, like, transcendent. Why? Because it's natural. It's who you are. And so you're like a joy and a dream, because you just go into this kind of zone, and you're just in this place of authenticity in this kind of flow state, and everything is just arising from that zone and that flow state. And that's the structure that I would want you to live inside of. That's the structure and the way of being that I would like to create around you and what you're doing. Right. So, for example, if I was mentoring you, that's what I would. That's what I would help you bring into being.

Oh, thank you so much for that. That was just like a wow. Such a number one. Thank you. That was like words of affirmation. So I'm so glad this is recorded. Secondly, wow. What an incredible. What an amazing reminder. Because as we pivot, right, like life, just one chapter closes, you move into something new. It's like you have to figure out what that form. So as you were talking, this is what I was getting from it. I have to discover what that new place is within this new thing that I'm doing.

And you don't even have to discover it. You are it.

Yeah.

Wow. And when you're feeling peaceful, you're being it. So this is what people don't understand, right? Like, the reason why empowerment hasn't been actualized or enlightenment hasn't been actualized, or potential hasn't been actualized is because we don't understand what it feels like when you're authentically being yourself, you're peaceful. Like when you're guiding someone through exercise or when you're guiding someone through the lifestyle, things that you guide people through, you're doing it peacefully because it's you. There's no effort in that. And this is how we know, right? You're already it. So what has you believing that you're not it is all of that stuff that's been superimposed over you that has you believing that you're not enough. It's what it is, right? It's all the conditioning, it's all the programming, it's all the emotional reinforcement that happens that has you in some way, shape or form second guessing yourself. You know, when people look at you, Laurie, you're already living their dream. Honestly, when they look at you, you're already living their dream. So the fact that you've accomplished that by being yourself means that you can accomplish anything in this world by being yourself. Because you're already doing it. You're already it. You're enough.

Just like, oh, yeah, I have to speak because we're on a podcast. I'm just going to sit and take that in for a while. Oh, man. Yeah. All of that. Yes. Let me get my thoughts back, because you just brought me back to the moments. And I think that people listening. I would love for you to think back to the moments where you remember. Like, you know, I'm thinking back to back when I used to compete in fitness and I just had this. It came to the point where I couldn't compare or push anymore. Like, I just reached my breaking point. Yet I knew I wasn't done with the sport. Like, I knew I was. There was so there was a place where I could find flow and pleasure and, like, be. I knew I could be an inspiration in an arena that is normally not inspirational. And in order to get back there, it's like I kind of reached this, the breaking point of doing all the not so great Things and the comparing and the I need to be more. And I just remember it was before I ended up actually winning three different titles in one competition. And it was literally because I was like, I don't care. I'm gonna go out there, and I'm gonna have the time of my life. And in that moment, when I let go, I actually got this deep knowing. I was like, oh, I already won. I didn't know if win meant actually winning, but to me, I just, like, completely washed over me the sense of, oh, when you let go of everything and you just have fun and be you and show people that it's possible to not have to do all of these other things, that was really powerful. That's what you just brought me back to. Just, like, this feeling of letting go. So do you think it's possible to get there before having to do the painful thing of the comparison and the striving and the burnout and the stress?

So I think that when you and I began our journeys, we began our journeys because we loved what we were doing and we wanted to help people. We wanted to be of service. I don't think that there was ever a financial consideration involved. Why? Because what's the greatest gift in the world? The greatest gift in the world is to wake up every day and have the privilege and honor of being yourself and reminding every other person that it's okay for them to be themselves, too. And when we get that, when we realized that we began from a place of service, it wasn't about conversion rates and open rates and how many people are liking things. And it wasn't about data points and metrics. It was about how we felt and just the love that we had for what we were doing. When you examine entrepreneurs, innovators from any industry, why do they get involved in it? Because they love it. Because they recognize the opportunity for service that it offers. They love it. You have to have a love for what it is that you're doing. Well, that love is the currency. That love is the seed money that you have to invest into that thing. And I think that the comparison actually doesn't even really originate from you. I think the comparison begins to kind of be introduced to you once you start to be successful. Right. But the very second but. And other people introduce it, right? Oh, he's like Deepak or he's like Jay or. No, I'm just Indian, and I happen to be spiritual. Right? That's all it is. So, again, that's all it is. So the comparison, as long as you Never accept the comparison. You remain peaceful, you remain loving, you remain of service. But the very second you accept the comparison, at that point, you're lost. I used to have these visions of being in stadiums and reaching thousands and thousands of people at once. And I didn't know how it was going to happen. I just knew it was going to happen. And it's happening. And we're not in a physical stadium, we're actually in a virtual stadium. People all over the world, right? So we have to let go of. Letting go is the ultimate act of intelligence. Thinking that you know and thinking that you having it figured out is why you're suffering, right? So by all means, you know, have a particular direction in mind that really resonates with your heart, but then just go on the journey, because really, whatever the business is, whatever it is, is just an excuse for you to evolve into the love that you are. When I work with people, especially at the corporate level, especially at the founder or CEO level, the first person that I have to fire is normally them. Why? Because their business is a reflection of their state of consciousness. If there's a problem in the company, it's because there's something that's unresolved in them. Their culture is a reflection of their consciousness. And so typically, I have to sit down and have the hard conversation and just say, hey, listen, the reason why this isn't working in your business is because you haven't dealt with this on an individual level inside of you. So again, when you realize that your life is a reflection of you, and you realize that everyone that you meet, everyone that you have the opportunity to be of service to, is you. All of the people that are showing up are you. That's why they come to you. Their story's similar. They're going through some similar challenge or some similar hurdle to you. You're the point of relatability and accessibility for them and to their empowerment and ultimately liberation. So again, it all boils down to how much am I willing to bet on me and how much am I willing to have fun every step of the way, regardless of the outcome? Because letting go, letting go allows you to liberate all of that potential that's inside of you. Letting go gets you there. What I've discovered is that a lot of peak performers, especially in the personal development space, use anger as their fuel. They use rage as their fuel. It's the wrong fuel source. If you want to burn out, you want to be overwhelmed and have adrenal fatigue and end up having some kind of neurological issue down the road, then keep going. But if you're running on anger and adrenaline, you're not going to be sustainable. But instead of that, if you can allow joy and peace and harmony to be your fuel, you'll be happy to your very last breath. And you'll reach more people than you could ever imagine without even trying.

Well, this was such a gift, and this hour absolutely flew by. Honestly, I just want to tell you, this was such a. Like, such a blessing in my day. I knew it would be great, but I had no idea that it was gonna just rock my world in the way that it did. So I just wanna say thank you so much for this. And how can we. I know that people are like, how can I feel this peace all of the time?

Which.

Your beautiful book is out and you were gonna be on tour, but now you're doing an amazing virtual tour, which is so exciting. So can you tell us where we can get it and a little bit about it?

Yeah. So the best resource right now is my website, which is panachtasai.com. i'll spell it for you. It's P a n a c-h E-E-S-A I dot com. And if you are struggling in any way right now with any area of your life, come and join me for the daily call to calm. It's 21 minutes. It's an opportunity for you to reconnect with who you really are and to begin to source your choices and decisions from a place of peace and from a place of presence. The book, Laurie. And it's so funny how the universe works, right? Talk about letting go. It became a national bestseller the week before I was about to start the second leg of my tour. And so you are enough, I'm happy to say, became a national bestseller. It's available through all of your usual bookstores and usual retailers and where I have been advocating on behalf of people getting the Kindle copy while we were still living in the uncertainty around the virus. Now it's probably safe for you to get a physical copy. So go ahead and unravel the biggest lie of all, that you don't have what it takes. That you're not enough and in some way you're deficient. I just want you to know that that simply isn't true. And it's important for you to be reacquainted with the power, presence, and potential that lives inside of you. Because not only are you enough, you are a unique emanation of infinite intelligence.

Oh, thank you again. So much. I'm very excited to dive into the daily meditations. So how long did you say you're doing that?

I'm going to be doing them every day, actually. It's interesting because what initially just started as a service opportunity to help people all over the world has become a daily meditation movement. And so I'm doing them seven days a week. So come on, hop on. Head over to the website. It's absolutely free. Join me on Zoom and join 7,800 people from all over the world. Yeah.

Look at all the beautiful things that have popped up from this. So amazing. Yeah. This is so awesome. Well, thank you so much.

And you guys, if you loved this.

Episode as much as I did, something that we love to do here is to take panache and to tag myself and let us know what your biggest takeaway was. Maybe it was an aha moment, maybe something that really shifted for you, but we would love to know, we'd love to hear. We always love to see who is listening to the podcast, so definitely upload that onto Instagram so we can see. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think.

Would love it, that would be absolutely.

Absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye. Bye.