597. Q+A: Transition and Rejection

This is our life and it could always be turbulent from here on out. It always has been. Obviously not necessarily like this, but I think that if we don't focus on what's good right now, we're going to miss all of it.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. Foreign. Welcome back to another episode of questionably awesome where you're my co host and we answer everybody's amazing questions. We do a review, we talk about.

Life, all the things, all the things.

You are in another area.

Where are you? At my mama's house.

Mama's house. How's mama's? Good.

I think she likes having us around because she is not married anymore. So that sounded really depressing and I didn't mean it to sound like that, but, you know, you're just the very.

Shining light of her life. You're the one providing her with everything she needs. That sounds so bad.

I did not mean it to sound like that. There's nothing wrong with being single and doing your thing, which my mom does.

You have talked a lot about how your mom does her own thing. Like, I just pray for 10 ounces of that. Me too.

I think she said it comes with age when you stop caring, but I would like that to start now.

Do you think she cares, though, about showing off her shoulders?

Now that's something she will care about until death.

So for those of you who have not listened to past episodes, it's not a thing in Evans family to like, show off shoulders or any kind of like, body part. So I'm still trying to get Evans to wear more crop tops and it's not happening at the fast rate that I would like. It is happening, but it is happening and it's so exciting. Like once in a while when you'll like tag me or show me a crop top picture that shows like a little. I'm like, is that, can I see your skin or is that part of the shirt? I Can't tell. So I am back in the RV in Wisconsin. So I'm parked in my mother in law's driveway. So we're both at mom's house.

And you know what I love about your view? It's like a little nook, like a cozy little breakfast nook.

Oh, it totally is. I have like a little U shaped dining table and it's so great cause I can put up my feet at it. And I work here all day. Super, super cozy. So I love it. It's great. Do you have a review? Oh, I do.

And this is from AR Soren and they say I listen to Questionably awesome every morning on my way to work and even when I walk my dogs. I started listening to Earn youn're Happy on a whim about a month and a half ago and then discovered Questionably Awesome. Now I'm obsessed. I'm convinced Lori and Evans are my people. And I get so excited for my daily Q and A that I've gone back months and in order to get my dose of them, I hope to meet y' all one day. Xoxo, Audrey.

Oh my God, Audrey, thank you so much. And it looks like you and I, Evans, are gonna have to eat on the daily this to fulfill people's quota of Questionably Awesome.

We just have to give the people what they want. And I guess it's every day.

I guess it's every day. So I'll see you tomorrow, Audrey.

That was the. I really liked that message. Audrey.

That was so amazing. Send us an email customerserviceaurihardter.com and we'll send you something super exciting. Get excited.

I also love the name Audrey.

Audrey is a great name. It's a classic name.

Classic name, yes.

Like, I absolutely feel like Audrey's wear oversized sunglasses and drink out of little tiny martini glasses.

I think so too. And I think that you're like, oh, Audrey, Audrey's got this. Like, Audrey can handle anything.

Audrey is super smart. Like, that's just what you know. So, Audrey, we love you. I hope that you are living up to your name. Just kidding. We know you are. Do you have a quote? I do.

I went with a Michael Bernard Beckwith quote and I love him. And he said, what if every morning you woke up and said the entire universe is for me?

Oh God, that is. I love that quote. Me too. And honestly, if we did that, then we would see everything, even the crappy parts, as like, oh, this is making me stronger. Oh, this is supposed to make me shift and see a different Perspective or have compassion for someone. All of those things. Or. Oh, that was meant to make me slow down. Like, when things go wrong or you're running late or whatever. Maybe it was keeping you from something terrible. Yeah, all those beliefs really are super helpful. Okay, my quote. There are people that love you. Stop focusing on the ones that don't. Sonia Teclay. I believe that's how you say it. That's good.

Yeah.

Just what do you focus on? Kind of the same thing. Right. Like, are you focusing on everything being for you, or are you focusing on the things that aren't great? Right. And making them not great?

So it's easy to slip into the negative.

Totally. And I think throughout the US Right now, the weather is either kind of crappy and there's a lot of fires, and it's really, really easy to just feel like the world is bad and it's scary. And while I do think it's important to stay up to date and educated, especially for safety, if you're near somewhere with fires, but I also think that, you know, this is our life, and it could always be turbulent from here on out. It always has been. Obviously, not necessarily like this, but I think that if we don't focus on what's good right now, we're gonna miss all of it.

So great point. Straight point.

Well, thanks. Evan. Do you have a question?

I do. Okay, let's see. I really liked this one on rejection.

Ooh.

Okay. This is from kylielauren. And they want to know, how do you handle silent rejection? Like, people stop talking or don't make an effort. Kind of sounds like ghosting.

Oh, yeah.

That's rude.

It's really rude. I've been there before, too, and I'm like, you know, maybe they could just answer. Okay. A way that I handle it, though. There's been a lot of silent rejection that I've gotten that I've realized, especially as you get really busy. Or maybe they're introverted. It's like, they may be doing it just because they don't have an answer for you. Maybe it's hard for them to say no, and they haven't, you know, gotten the tools to kind of be like, oh, I should just say no, But I don't know how to say it in a kind way. Or it's people who just are overwhelmed and they're not good with getting back to people. It's not a strength for a lot of people to, like, stay on top of their life. I'm just being really honest. So I think to Stop taking it so personal and to kind of follow up if it's something important. But then if they're just not getting back to you like after a few follow ups, because that's okay too. Like sometimes you find that maybe it's just, you know, I have so many emails that I'm like, I just can't get to them. It's just not top priority right now. Even though I love this person or even though it's a great question or whatever that is or that they want. But you have to stop taking it so personal and also just make sure you are following up. Because there's been a lot of really great things that have happened in my life and they haven't happened until like the seventh or eighth follow up. And I would rather follow up and understand that maybe they were really busy and have them finally be like, hey, I see your emails. I want you to know I want to get back to you. It's just that it's that crazy right now and I have some family stuff going on or whatever. So you have to really know that it's not personal at all. It's probably just sitting there and it's not top priority and there's probably a lot more to the story that you don't know. And if it is personal, if they are rejecting you on purpose, then also don't take that personal and just move, like move on. That's how you handle it. You like bless and release. And you know that your timing for that particular relationship or whatever, what you you wanted to happen was on your agenda and it wasn't good timing for them. Or maybe it's keeping again, going back to your quote, maybe it's keeping you from something that you don't know that's not good for your journey or your path. So these are all the beliefs that I hold that I'm like, even if it's something I really wanted or a relationship I really wanted to work out, I have to hold the belief that maybe it was keeping me from something I couldn't see, like something detrimental or something that, you know, that would have held me back in a certain way or an experience that I wouldn't have enjoyed very much. So that's what I do.

I like that. I think that's really good. I don't know if this is like a personal or a business thing, if it's a personal thing. I feel like with relationships, you know, you won't have any confusion when you know that person is interested in you. Like there won't Be any of this, like, oh, are they interested?

That is so true. That is 1 million percent true. If it's a friend, if it's someone you know you're interested in romantically, there's not, like, a question. And if there is a question, you have to then ask yourself if that's somebody that you want to wait around for and always have that question. Because if it's a question now, it may remain a question for the entire relationship.

If you're cool with that, great.

But that's not the type of relationships I'm signed up for in this lifetime. I want clear communication and clarity around where we stand and the openness to be able to ask where we stand without worrying. Like, that's the type of relationship that's exhausting. That is. Life is exhausting enough. I don't need to wonder if my friends like me or not.

Me neither. I would just like that to be understood.

I will only hang out with people that I'm like, I know that they're gonna be there for the long haul and that I can be like, hey, are we good? Okay, great. Thank you for that clarity. So I can move on with my day.

Yes, 100%. Do you want a question?

Let's do one more cue.

Okay, one more cue. Let's see.

Ooh.

This is from Marissa Hammond. Hammond. How to face imposter Syndrome when experiencing good transitions. Oh.

That'S a good question. Yeah, lean in. I'm doing it right now. So sometimes good things will happen and maybe it won't be, like, final. It won't be there yet. Does that make sense? Like, they're starting to happen and you're like, okay, I'm not going to believe in this or believe this is happening until this happens or until it's actually there or until I see the final product or until the contract is signed. And while I think that that's a great way to kind of, like, protect yourself emotionally, I also think it sends a signal to the universe or law of attraction or your mind that makes you sabotage it a little bit. So what I do is I do this, like, fine. It's a fine line, like, this dance between, like, yes, this is happening, and I always say this or something better. So it allows it to not be like, if this doesn't happen, I'll be devastated. It allows me to lean into, like, yes, I fully believe this is happening. And if for some reason it doesn't, something better is going to come along. But, like, lean all the way into it, believe it's happening. Manifest that it's happening. Visualize every single day that it's happening, and that you'll be the person who can handle it and that you will. Like, for the imposter syndrome part, like, that you'll be the person who grows into it. Because if it's coming to you, it's for you. There's never anything or opportunity that you create that comes your way that you're not meant to grow into or, like, expand into. So trust that. We talk a lot on here, Evans. Like, you have to hold beliefs that are empowering for you. If there's a thought that you're having, that's not empowering. It's not one that you should be thinking. Right? So you have to, like, whether you're like, yeah, but this is how I keep myself safe, or, yeah, but I shouldn't expect this or that. And honestly, manifestation is the feeling of expectancy. So I truly feel like if I'm ever, like, I shouldn't do it because I could get really let down. I'm like, nope, you gotta expect it to get it. So.

Oh, that's a tweetable moment.

I gotta write that down. That's good. You gotta expect it to get it.

Oh, girl, that was really good. You need to post that to the world right now.

Happening. I love that.

It's true, though. My mom just lectured me about I was going somewhere and I was nervous, and she was like, do not walk into that room and be like, oh, I don't know who I am, and I'm just here. Her advice was to put your shoulders back and just walk in there and say, like, hi, I'm Evans. I'm here.

Like.

Like, this is who I am, and I'm here, and I'm supposed to be here.

You know, I love that so much, because here's the thing that you should be. I just was on a podcast with a girl named Ashley Stahl, and she gave some great questions that you should be asking other people so that you can know. So you can ask me this at another time. Because I think you're time crunched, I think today. But the questions you need to ask me next time on the podcast. Okay, Answer them. Okay. Are what happens to the room when I walk, the room's energy when I walk in. Ooh. Okay. I'm gonna tell you all that, and then where do you see me at my best? Like, what am I doing when I'm at my very best?

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Okay, ask me those next week.

Okay?

I wrote them down because I got answers.

Oh, Lori, I think you just did a teaser.

Yeah, we just did. Yeah. So tune in next week. You're gonna have to wait a week.

To learn those answers.

And just so you know, if you're going this week to that thing, are you going this week to a.

No, but I can make one up to go to.

Great.

Well, if that thing is in the future, let's talk about that before, because you need to know the power that is ecraft.

The power. The power's within.

You have no idea.

That's it.

Yeah. You're like a Powerpuff girl. I think it's powder puff, but. All right, you guys, this was just like a life changing conversation. Evans. I feel better. I felt groggy and tired and irritable before this. Me too. I feel like I'm gonna be able to use the bathroom with ease. I feel excited about what's coming. I feel grounded, that I have a friend that I can always call and laugh. I feel good. Me too.

The universe is for us.

It's for us. We've got friends.

We've got friends. We've got coffee. We've got Audrey.

We have Audrey. If you ever question, if you guys have friends, please know that we feel as close to you as, you know, we do to the next of kin. So the next of kin. So you're never alone. Oh, my God.

That just really hit hard. Okay, thank you for that. I needed that today. I really did.

You know, anytime. We'll make a T shirt out of it. All right, you guys, until next time, remain questionably awesome and we shall keep changing your life.

Yes. Have a great day.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am sorry. So glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye. Bye.