599. Navigating Big Kid Problems - with Sarah Merrill

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If this is like the truth, like, I need to go full force at this, like, I only have one shot.

Yeah.

And I decided to Quit my job that day.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Thanks for tuning into the show again. My guest today is somebody that I've had so much fun getting to know. I've gotten to hang out with her quite a few times since this last year.

And truly, she just feels like that.

Girlfriend who is hilarious, who you can't wait to hang out with again because you always just have so much fun. So, you guys, my guest today is Sarah Merrill. She's the comedy writer and creator of Big kid problems. It's a wildly popular Instagram account turned blog and podcast all about the daily struggles of growing up and navigating the adult world, which I can tell you, I still feel like I'm navigating every day and relate so much to this Instagram page, it's not even funny. So not just that, she is relaunching her podcast again. She's here for another season and you guys are going to love it. She talks about anything from tiny apartments to living on her tinier paychecks, dating. And she uses a mixture of rye wit, pop culture references and relatable experiences to connect to her audience and help them navigate. So whether you're 22 or 62, there is no use in fighting. We all have big kid problems, you guys. Through her social media fame, she's appeared three times on the Emmy award winning Steve Harvey show and spoken at various conferences and universities about growing a business through social media. A collection of her original jokes were published by Andrew McNeil in 2020. So let's get started and you guys are gonna love her here.

Sarah, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. Thank you for coming on.

Oh my gosh, the honor is all mine. I am so pumped to be here. Huge fan.

Oh my. Well, okay. Thank you. So I got to be on your epic show, which was so much fun. You came to the house. How long ago was that?

It was before the world fell apart. So it feels really long ago, but I think it might have been February of 20. 20. 20.

20?

Yeah.

Wow. No, 20. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, it was right before, like, the world went to shit.

I've decided to let go of what year it is. I don't really know. I'm just, I'm not acknowledging it anymore.

So I'm on board. I'm like, I don't age this year. Like, I'm not including it.

We don't clown. We clown it. We don't, we don't count it. Like, it's just, it's not happening. So. Okay, so your podcast is Big Kid Problems.

Yes.

Okay, tell me all about it.

Okay, so Big Kid Problems is basically, it's based off of the social media account I started when I was, oh, God, 22 years old, getting ready to graduate college. I started a funny Twitter account just all about not wanting to grow up, about being afraid to enter the adult world. And yeah, I feel that. Right?

I still feel that.

I know that's what's funny is I started at 22 and I'm like, almost 32. And I'm like, yeah, still checks out. My dad, my dad, who's like 62, is like, yeah, I have big kid problems. Yeah, totally. That's kind of the whole. The whole thing. But I started on, on social, on Twitter, moved it over to Instagram, and it's just really funny. It's all, you know, like little jokes and about, you know, the adult world. And the idea of the podcast was really to take it a step further because I make fun of, like, all the little things that happen in your adult life, like whether it's like getting dumped or getting fired or what have you. And the podcast was really, I wanted to take it a step further and bring in experts, bring in cool people like you to talk about, like, their experience with big kid problems and like helping people navigate those transitions.

Oh, my God. It's crazy because it never goes away. Like, I am once again in another place where I'm pivoting and I'm just like, am I. I feel like a kid. Like, am I the person who can handle these things? Like, if I'm being completely transparent, I think we all feel that way. I think some people are just better at covering it up, which actually, I think makes you feel like you're in a prison and you can't make mistakes, but that never, ever goes away. Like, I so relate to your 62 year old dad right now.

I know that's the whole thing. And like, don't you remember being a kid and looking at like a 20 year old and being like, w. That's an adult.

Oh, I thought they were. I remember when I was like 13 years old looking at this girl who was 25, and I'm like, oh, I don't ever want to be that age. I'm so old.

I see a 25 year old now and I'm like, wow, you little baby.

Oh my God. I'm seriously. Like, I. How do we let these kids move out of the house so young? Like, it just seems scary out there. Like, don't you want to stay in the basement longer? Like, I don't get it, but yeah, it's. It is crazy. And it's also. I know that you have like, a super unconventional story, which I think so many people do, but I think it's so important to hear it because I don't think that you just like, move out of the house or turn 20 and figure out your purpose. Like, I didn't even start to get the tip of the iceberg until I was probably 31. Like, I didn't even understand, like, stand. What I was actually going to be doing. I kind of started getting into it, but what I learned later is that was more of just the foundation that was being poured for what I was going to do later. So tell me about it. Sounds like 10 years you've had, you know, kind of this platform and then it's morphed and it's turned into so many other things. But what even. What even started it because it's like, I. I love you because you're, like, very ballsy and you just talk about what is actually truth.

Yeah.

And that probably took some work to get there too. Because what people don't know is I think you have to be, like, really brave and very smart to be really funny. So you're freaking hilarious. So what I need to know, how did you get to this place of building this platform? Were you supposed to be, quote unquote, like, doing something else? Did you think you were supposed to be doing something else?

Yeah, I mean, 100%. That's like the whole. The whole thing is that I. And I think a lot of us go through this, especially in our early 20s and beyond, is that we think that we're supposed to be doing things a certain way or. You know, I remember going into college when I was 18 and having to pick a major, and it's like, hey, pick the track for the rest of your life. Oh, my God. You know, And I'm like, how do people do this?

I don't know.

I don't know either. And then. So you make a guess. My guess was way off.

What was it?

My guess was political science.

Oh. Well, I mean, it's a little different than what you're doing.

A little different. I. The truth is, I saw Legally Blonde, like, one too many times, and I was like, I'm gonna go to law school. Yeah. People who know me are like, you're the most illogical person ever. Like, that was a terrible, terrible choice. So, yeah, I mean, that was kind of the whole. The whole genesis of this is by the time I started this account, I was getting ready to graduate college. And I had spent those four years really kind of, like, floundering, not knowing, not really sure if the path I had chosen was the right one, not really sure what I was going to do. And I got to my senior year. I was supposed to be studying for my LSAT to go to law school, and I was like, I don't even fucking want to do this. So I decided to go to. I went to. Actually, my junior year of college, went to New York City just to take an internship because my friends were all doing it.

Yeah.

And I had the best time ever. And I was like, screw law school. I'm moving to New York the second I can. So as I was getting ready to graduate, I was, you know, sitting in the basement of my sorority house, you know, studying for finals. Really procrastinating from finals.

Yeah.

And, you know, loved Twitter at the time. Loved. You know, you still listen or watch White Girl problems. Do you ever follow them on Twitter?

I think I follow them now.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. These started on Twitter, but just some of these. Some of these accounts that were just, like, really sassy, really funny, and I was like, I could do this. I can make jokes. So that's really, like, how I. I got into it. I just started. I was like, let me make jokes, but I'm gonna do it for my age demo. Like, I'm gonna do it for people who are getting ready to join the adult world and, like, don't know what the hell they're getting into. So that was, like, the whole. The whole thing, and really, like, my. My career path. I. I was so confused. Like, I left college. I went into. I jumped into PR because, you know, like I said, I got, like, a random internship in New York. I started going down that path. I was really unhappy. Was, like, not making any money. I was working crazy hours, and. And the work I was doing was really unfulfilling. I was like, pitching editors, like, to, you know, put a Kardashian bag in a magazine. And like, when they didn't, I would be crying, you know, And I actually, the reason I left PR with an editor that had told me they were gonna put in a bag placement didn't. And that magazine came out and I saw that my bag wasn't in there and I was in hysterics. And that was it.

That was it.

But I caught myself and I was like, I am crying because a bag is not in a magazine. Like, what?

Yeah, we've all had that moment.

Yeah. And I'm like, I am not doing anything purposeful. So I left pr. I got into another random career that I fell into, and I did that for four years. And. And the whole time I just. I never felt like I fit into what I was trying to do. And I saw other people, I listened to podcasts. I saw that people were doing, you know, things that I thought were better than what I was doing, better than the path I was on. I felt kind of like I was falling behind.

Yes.

Which is the worst feeling.

Oh, my God. And I think now, just with all the pressure of everything, now, like, 20 year olds feel like they're behind.

I know.

Oh, honey.

Oh, honey. No, a hundred percent.

So you felt like you were falling behind? What was the one? For four years I worked.

So I went to a recruiting firm when I left pr and I was so burnt out and I was just. I sat in the chair and was like, put me anywhere. Like, I'll go anywhere. I can do a lot of things I'm good at. I'm a Jill of all trades. Like, I can do a lot of stuff. I'm not particularly great at anything, but I can do a lot of stuff.

Get you hired every time, you know?

So weird that I wasn't, like, acing job interviews. I. Keep it honest. What can I say?

Look, I'm really not too great at too many things, but I can do.

A lot of stuff. I can do a lot. I'm never gonna be on time, but when I do get here, I'll be okay at like 80% of the things.

God, I love hiring people like that. It's the best.

But the recruiting firm is basically like, we like your personality and if we need, like, somebody in a role here. So I ended up working for a recruiting firm and I ended up doing business development for them. So just doing like, the sales portion of the recruiting, which I actually kind of liked. I like, you know, and I was doing really well in sales. You know, it was a lot of being out of the office, a lot of like doing client entertainments and, and stuff. So I did pretty well. I never thought I would stay in that job.

So four years. Why did you stay there? Was there. So I'd love to know, like the fear of leaving, but also what it, what was the lesson that it gave you for kind of what you do now.

Yeah, I mean the, the reason I stayed there is. And I, and I think this is kind of interesting when a lot of people are, you know, pursuing their passion or trying to do something like a little bit more fulfilling with their work. I came to a real portion at this juncture in my life where I had big kid problems. I loved doing that, but I was like this, I don't make enough money doing this. You know, this is kind of like still a hobby. It's not really a business.

Been there.

Yeah. And so I'm like, let me take a job to have a job and have like some security underneath me and I'll get my fulfillment from this creative outlet that I'm working on. So at the time I was like, this is kind of a band aid. I, I thought I would be in the job for six months while I looked for other jobs.

Yeah.

And I got comfortable, you know, I got comfortable. I got, you know, better pay than I was used to. So I just did that. And luckily I had big kid problems as a creative outlet for me, which was key. So I could still like, use some of those things in like my brain and have fun with that. While I was kind of grinding away in this sales role that like, did not feel like it was what I was meant to be doing.

Right. Yeah.

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Interesting because I think so many people who want to transition think it's going to look like like oh, I'm doing this job and now I'm going like, full force into big kid problems. Like, that's not so. Not how it works. Like, you were probably finding the voice of that, you know, Twitter account or whatever it was at that time, like, while you were doing all of the things and getting the experience about, you know, with getting all of your content.

Yeah.

At this, at this particular, like, place.

Oh, yeah. I had a lot of content at this point because I was, like, actually having so many big kid problems. But that's the thing. I feel like for people who are, you know, maybe not where they want to be career wise, it's a thing I'm like, you don't. Don't be ashamed of maybe not being exactly where you are. I mean, the things that I learned in that job are actually integral to the stuff I do now. I learned a lot about sales. I learned how to look at contracts. I learned at all this stuff that I'm actually really using now. At the time, I was so ashamed. I was like. I didn't even want to tell my friends I was working at a recruiting firm because it just felt like so outside of what I thought I would be doing, you know, especially coming from, like, PR and entertainment, which, like, seemed really glamorous to go from. Like, I'm doing sales. You know, I was just. I was. I was bummed about it. But looking back, I'm like, it was the right move.

And like, sales, I think, is so underrated because eventually, even if you have a business, you are selling something. Like, you're. You either are learning how to sell yourself or you're selling a product. Like, I was in so many different sales positions, and I was like, this is like, for. I don't even know. I just, like, had this idea of who I thought sales were for, like, desperate people or something. Yeah. I don't know. But I was one of those people and I was desperate. So I just had this opinion of what it was, but it has. It taught me everything. And I also think you really need to be in positions you don't like to know that even your dream job or your dream business or dream life is gonna have so many things that you do not like.

Yeah, and it's.

It's just like getting to that place of knowing you're just gonna show up no matter what. Okay, so you're four years into this place. I wanna know what that moment was of just like, we're moving on. We're gonna go do something else. So what was next?

Yeah, so I. I mean, I was there and at the. At the same time, you know, simultaneously. I'm working there full time, but I'm also. Big kid problems is kind of taking off. You know, I went from when I, when I started there, I maybe had like, like 10,000 followers. And then over the course of that, those four years, I went to like 250,000 followers. Amazing. Yeah. And at the time when I first got there.

That is crazy. Gross.

Yeah. It was wild, especially, I think. I think it was a little bit easier to early Instagram days.

It was. But you still had to have really good content.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the one thing I'm like, I'm definitely going through it.

Yeah.

So I had a lot of. Of relatable content.

It's like authentic. You're like living and breathing it, you know?

Yeah, for sure. So I was growing that. And when I got to my job, nobody knew I was baked problems. I kept it completely anonymous. I was like, I don't want to get in trouble for the things I'm saying. Right. Exactly. Yeah. And then like.

And I used you yesterday for content. So literally, like just what you said yesterday.

Yeah. Like talking so much shit on my co workers and boss, like all the time. Yeah. Not great. But I.

It worked.

Yeah, it worked exactly. But I started seeing, you know, I started seeing other accounts in the space, like starting businesses. Like, I looked at the fat Jewish, and I was like, wow, this guy has his own, like, rose line. Yeah. And he's getting paid by all these brands. I was like, huh. Maybe if I come out from behind the curtain, like, I could actually really turn this into a business. So somewhere in that four year journey, probably like the last two years, I started poking my head out a little bit more. I didn't like, openly share it with my office, like, hey, guys. But the word kind of got around.

Yeah.

So. And then I got a couple, like, really cool opportunities, you know, As I started to grow and really gain a following, I got asked to be on the Steve Harvey show.

Oh, that's awesome.

Which was really fun. And I was like, wow, what a dream come true.

Totally.

And I, you know, I had to take off work to fly to Chicago and do that. So my boss has kind of had like some question marks in their head, like, okay, where are your priorities? Yep. And I got to a point where I knew I wanted to leave eventually and have big problems, be my full time. But I just didn't know when that was gonna be.

Yeah.

And I didn't know because.

Were you trying to match up just so everybody can like, kind of, like, understand for their journey. Were you trying to hit, like, a monetary thing? Were you not ready to leave because of money? Were you not ready to leave because you were scared? Like, what were the things?

Yeah, I mean, all the things. Financial. Number one, I was like, I live in New York City. It's. It's a really expensive place. I have my own apartment. I want to make sure that I can support myself. I need that security. I need that certainty that I'm going to make my rent every month. Yes. And so I knew that I needed to make a certain amount. And especially, I mean, even to this day. And anybody working for themselves can tell you it's not always consistent.

Yeah.

Especially when you leave the corporate world. It's really nice having that paycheck, no matter what you do.

Yes, for sure.

Coming to you and having your health insurance, all the things. So I was really. I was kind of dragging my feet on it. And I. And I had some pretty lofty goal. Like, I want, like, you know, 40,000 in savings when I leave. Like, I want a cushion that I know I can pay my rent for, like, six months and beyond. But then I was actually, so I was, you know, walking around New York. I had my headphones in. I was listening to a podcast, and my, like, true. My hero is like, Sarah Blakely.

Yeah, same.

Love Sarah, CEO of Spanx. If anyone doesn't know, I'm sure everybody who listens to this podcast knows. I think so.

Yeah, I think so. If not, you let them know.

But I was listening to a podcast with her, and she was just talking about how before she started spanx, she was 27, selling fax machines or something like that.

Yeah, something like door to door, wasn't it?

Yeah, door to door sales. And then she realized that her life wasn't a dress rehearsal. And I just heard those words. I'm like, your life isn't a dress rehearsal. And I was like, I'm kind of treating this like I have other chances. And I was like, I have all this momentum. I just got asked to be on Steve Harvey. Like, I'm like, I could really, if this is, like, the truth, like, I need to go full force at this. Like, I only have one shot. And I decided to quit my job that day.

Oh, my God, I love that I have goosebumps right now because oftentimes there's so. It's so funny. Cause on here, I always take two different roads. Like, I'll be like, make sure you have X, Y, and Z. Don't just go and do the thing. But once in a while, there are people who just are either really clear with their gut or they're knowing or they just bet on themselves. And it's like, for those people, because I just turned into one of those people, you just, you know, and you actually can't go back after that point.

Yeah.

Like, you literally. Your body will not let you walk back into wherever you were working anymore. Like, you will just put it all on the line. So I think for whoever's listening, if you feel like you don't know, then you don't know yet. Like, it's just that moment of, like, oh, damn. Like, you literally know. So I'm sure there were a lot of fears that kind of sink in after that very brave moment of, like, I'm not going back. But what was the focus after that? Like, what were you going to do?

Yeah, so I had that. I had that, like you said, total moment of clarity.

Yep.

Which is for me, especially at this point in my journey where everything had been so, like, in the dark, like, shot at the dark. I was like, finally, yeah, I know what to do. But so my focus was I was going to take big problems full time. After. After I was on the show, I started getting reached out to by, like, agents and stuff like that. So I was like, I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna focus on this. I'm going to, you know, maybe work with an agent, manager and. And start doing, like, just way more promotions, putting my face out there.

What did focusing look like for you, like, to grow it? What were some of the things that you did?

Trying to think back in the beginning, one of the big things I did was I just started doing, like, a lot more brand partnerships and putting myself and doing more stories, too, because up until that point, which is gonna be unique to me, but back at that point, I wasn't really like people. And to this day, people will look at my account and not know who runs it, because I do a lot of jokes. Like, it's all, like, memes or tweets, and so you don't really see my face. So I started get, like, putting more of my story into. Into big kid problems. And so people knew I was, like, leaving my job. People knew I was, like, you know, sitting on the floor of my apartment, trying to, like, figure out how to run my own business and stuff like that. So people started getting, like, more introduced to me, introduced to my story, and then, like, like, you know, was able to. I was able to kind of leverage that to do a Little bit more, like, brand partnerships and. And more material. Like, I was. I, you know, launched my blog at the time, this was, like, pretty cool. I feel like nobody reads blogs anymore.

Yeah, they're. They're definitely out there, but, yeah.

And, you know, eventually, obviously, got into the podcast. That was, like, another big thing. I'm like, I really want to use the time and. And get a podcast up and going, even though that took a little bit longer than I initially.

Oh, yeah.

But it's funny, when I first left my job, because I had that, you know, moment of clarity.

I'm like, I'm gonna do this. I love it.

You know, whatever. I. I remember my first, like, two days, like, first week at home, where I was like, okay, I'm working from home. Yeah, make it happen. And I, like, I literally worked till, like, 11:00am and I was like, what do I do now?

I literally wish I could just go back to your first week, because it probably looked a lot like my first week.

Like.

Like, you don't know what to do if you don't have a plan. And it can feel like the worst thing ever.

Oh, yeah. I was like, what did I just do? Like, holy.

That's exactly how I felt.

Yeah.

And then I, like, stood in front of my refrigerator, like, what can I eat now?

Oh, my God. You know What? I. Yeah, 100. You know what I actually did, which was so sad, is, like, so, like, you know, 11, 11:30, I'm like, wow. I don't know what to do with the rest of my day. I'm like. I turned on Netflix, and I was like, I've never seen Schindler's Lips list because, like, it's such a long movie. So long. So, like, on a Tuesday, I, like, sat for, like, three hours and watched Schindler's List. And then I was like, okay, what now?

Yeah, I mean, education.

But I was just like, okay. I watched it, and I was like, all right, I need to get organized, because I can't continue to do this.

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So what would you say to somebody who, like, they think they're going to work from home or they just started working from home, or they're forced to work from home right now and they're feeling that way? Because I think that happens a lot. Like, you don't realize that, like, maybe that boss or that structure that you had was actually structure because you needed to get work done or you need a plan or you need projects or whatever that looks like. And I'm not saying you can't get your whole, like, maybe you were so, you know, amazing that all your work was done by 11, but I don't think that was it in the beginning.

Yeah, let's go with that. Let's go with that story. No, I mean, it's so funny, because the whole time I was working, I was like, I hate being micromanaged. You know, I hate people telling me what to do. And then, like, literally, like, six months into working for myself, I was like, I will pay a business coach to tell me what to do.

That's what's going on right now for me. Tell me what to do.

Truly. But one of the best things I did is I had to start getting really organized, because me and my natural state is just chaos at all hours of the day.

That used to be me. Yeah.

And that's been, like, a huge piece of my journey, too, is, like, really using a lot of tools, a lot of resources that, like, I. You know, that's why I got into podcasts and stuff like that and, like, you know, reading business books and stuff like that and watching people who have done it before me. So I just. I took a lot of the tools that I was picking up, things like, you know, organizing what my revenue streams were. So at the time, I was. I was doing a lot of different stuff and kind of just like, doing whatever came my way. And so I sat down and I really wrote down. I'm like, what are the how of things I made money from. In the last six months, there was like, there's like 10 things, like 10 different categories. And I started to prioritizing. Okay, what do I like out of this list? Like, what do I like the most? What am I making the most money on it? And what. What is actually taking me a lot of time.

Yeah.

So. And maybe not, you know, being as. As financially fulfilling as I. As I thought. So I was looking at that list and, you know, I loved doing events like I loved. I would, you know, some brands would to pay me to go to a store launch or interview people on the street or do fun things like that. I love interacting with people. And then I looked at that list and I was like, okay, my merchandise is actually killing me. Because anytime there's a customer service issue, it comes to me. I make pennies on the dollar. My margins were really low, so that was able to. For doing that exercise really allowed me to focus my time and realize what I wanted to put more efforts into. So that's huge.

Yeah, I just wanna make sure everybody got that. Like, even if you, you know, maybe looking at what have you made money in. In the last year, if it hasn't been, you know, doing a ton of things in the last month. But that is so smart. Like, I think we forget to take that inventory and it just. Your energy is priceless. So if you could put all your energy towards the one thing that's making you the most and you're enjoying the most, that's like the key. Okay, so your merchandise was killing you. So you were like, okay, enough of this.

Yeah, I was like, I'm just not gonna promote this. I'm not going to put too much energy. I'm not going to create more stuff. Like, I already have a bunch of stuff. I also simultaneously, I was, you know, I was trying to network with as many people as I could because now I'm in this new world where, you know, I had. I had been in this corporate job where the people I was networking were very specific to that industry. And so I started reaching out to my friends. I let them all know that I was going off on my own. I asked for any introductions, anybody working in social media or the digital space. I just started taking meetings with people too, which was super helpful.

Yes.

And I know Lori, like, we. We've now met a few times. And even when I meet you, I'm like, I'm probing you with questions because I know, I'm like, you've done this.

I'm all about it.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. I do the same thing. Like, let's. What do you know and what do you know? Let's see if we can share some knowledge. It's literally every. I, I think it traces back to like every pivotal moment or thing that shifts you. Or like, just ask every question, even if it sounds stupid, and lay it all out on the table. Like, I've just had moments where I'm like, oh, I feel so stupid for doing that. And then I'm like, but I wouldn't be where I'm at or I wouldn't have understood this or I wouldn't have made that huge mistake. So networking is huge. What would you tell people who like, aren't natural networkers to start.

To start, I think, starting with people you're comfortable with. So, like going out to a friend's list, like your close people.

Yeah.

That you know like you and have your best interest at heart. Because when you, when you're reaching out to strangers, that's when the fear can set in.

Yeah.

And I know when I moved to la, I moved to LA last year and I did the same thing. I reached out to all my friends and said, hey, I'm moving to la if you have any friends or anybody to put me in, in contact with. And it was a little uncomfortable for me because I'm, I went from like, totally, you know, meeting people I knew to complete strangers and I'm taking up their time. They're like, who's this weird chicken dick, like, pounding me, you know? Yep. So I think if you're, if you're not natural at it, to go to your, your core peeps first.

Yeah. Get some practice there. Yeah, definitely. For sure. Like, how do you, how do you ask for what you need when you're networking? Like, because you'll go, say you have a meeting and I, I see this a lot, actually, because some people will make meetings with me and I, I'll be halfway through like a lunch or coffee or something and I'll be like, like, what do you actually want? Could we just, could you just tell me? Because this is like, did you actually just come here to like, talk about the almond milk latte? Because I'm actually not interested.

Like, yeah. So how do my time.

Yeah. Like, that's what people are like, oh, maybe we'll be friends when I know there's an actual like, ask or question or something they want to learn. Like, how do you. Do you pre plan? Do you think about what you want to ask? Do you have an intention when you go in.

Yeah, I think I set the intention when I'm even asking for the meeting, you know, like, if I'm reaching out, I. Whenever I reach out to a new contact, you know, maybe I got a connection through a friend, I tell them, I'm like, hey, you know, so and so mentioned you. I just moved to la. I let them know, like, where I'm at. I just moved out here. My friend Laura, you know, knows you and she told me you would be a great person to connect with. Like, I'd love to, you know, grab coffee. Or now it's like, hop on the phone. Yes. Which I'm actually kind of here for.

I kind of love it. I'm like, oh, my God, I can grab coffee with so many people in a day now. Yeah. Which before, it's like, one day, okay, I'm in la, I'm meeting Mary, and that's all I'm doing for the day. Literally, for real.

That was something. When I moved to la, I didn't realize. I'm like, me asking somebody for coffee is like a huge burden.

It's a full day of their life.

Like, they'll never get that back a hundred percent.

And so you better be some damn good coffee.

Yeah. And you better, like, come with some real shit. But in New York, I didn't realize that, because in New York you're buzzing around all day long and, yeah, you can pop in for like 30 minutes here, 30 minutes there. So I guess definitely no, like, like.

You'Re know your landscape 100%.

People are like, no. I got some people, like, straight up, were like, no, I won't meet you.

Yeah, exactly. You don't realize what you're asking for. You're like, do you want my firstborn as well? What else do you want from me?

Literally?

So, okay, so be intentional from the beginning. That's been a huge thing for me. I'm so glad you brought that up because you will. Your life will move quicker, your goals will move quicker, and the people will appreciate you way more and they'll be more willing to, you know, maybe connect you to someone that they know if you're not wasting time. So it's kind of like, I'd love to zoom for this. I have this question, this question and this question. Then they can be prepared as well. Or they can say, you know what? I don't know anyone in that arena. Let me see if I know anyone. Like, instead of wasting time, so I've found in business, like, just what you're doing, networking and Just making sure it's really intentional. It's how you're gonna move forward on everything. So. Okay, so you were, you were networking and you. What came, what came out of like, you connecting with all of these different brands and making sure that you were out there?

Yeah, well, I, it actually, it opened the door to so many other things, like things I wouldn't think about. So I had, you know, one friend that I, I met up with for coffee was like, oh, actually like a company I'm working with needs social media help. Yeah, you've grown up, you've grown a following and you've grown a business online. Maybe you can help them with social. So then I started consulting for social media, which was like not on my original list of financial things, but it like paid super well and you know, so I started, I just opened my eyes through, through talking to so many different people, to all types of different things, and I got connected, you know, for different gigs and all kinds of things. So it was, it was really, really helpful.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah. So that was, that was one big thing. So then I, you know, I had my financial things, I had my, you know, networking that was going on and then another big piece for me was just like literally organizing the day to day.

Yes.

I'm like, I need structure because I'm a freaking animal. And if I also, like, when I originally started working for myself, I would wake up and just check my phone and then I would wind up on an Instagram spiral for two hours and I'd be like, why did I just do that?

I'm relating so hard right now.

So I had to build in. Even though I was up into this point, even in the corporate world. So against structure, I had to build a structure that worked for me.

Or you just, you're.

It's.

So you watch yourself. You actually become an observer of your crazy. Like you feel like you float above your body and just watch yourself. Like you're doing it again.

Yeah.

Thing where you're doing nothing and you're just filling it with like cleaning your apartment or doing things you think are busy and they're not moving the needle. And I think that's the, that's actually the worst place. I think it feels worse than like when you were back in corporate America or wherever you were because you just feel like a psycho who can't manage yourself.

Oh, yeah. And then it's on your dime, you know, I'm like, it's one thing if I'm procrastinating when I'm working, working for a corporate job. But I'm like, shit, Sarah, like, you need to get it together.

You're like, is this really all you're like, amounting to in your life? Is this really your standard that you're holding yourself to? Like, God, I'm clearly, I've been there before, like, for. Unfortunately, mine was for a really long period of time that I kind of floundered for a while. So I took a little longer than I think most people. But, you know, that's great. That's all part of the journey. Real quick. I just wanted to touch on for social media because I think so many people, that's a lot of their businesses and you were helping people with social media for a bit. So I would love to know what were some of the main things that you think you see people doing wrong on social that doesn't, you know.

Yeah, I mean. Oh, there's a, There's a whole. There's a lot.

Yeah.

I mean, one of the biggest things, like whenever I would go into a brand or something and start like looking at their social media, like, I want to see like, what is your, what is your purpose? Like, what are you trying to accomplish here? Are you trying to just sell a product? Are you trying to tell a story? Are you trying to connect with a certain audience? Like, yeah, let's figure out exactly like what you want to be doing with your, with your page and getting organized too, because, you know, a lot of brands have a combination of those things.

Yeah.

So it's doing that. It's a lot of the brands I worked with initially and I don't see this so much anymore, but it would just be like, do you ever remember seeing some of these, like, terrible corporate Instagram accounts? Like, it was like pictures taken from somebody's iPhone and like, yes. You know, just kind of like blurry, out of focus pictures. And there's no like, esthetically pleasing element whatsoever. There's no rhyme or reason to the feed for sure. So, you know, it's like, did somebody's like 50 year old, like, receptionist do this Instagram account for you? Because, like, we need totally. We need to redo this whole thing.

It's like the owner's like wife or husband who's just like, hey, I'll do your Instagram.

Yeah, there's like, no, they don't have an account. Yeah, right, right. So that was a big thing. I mean, obviously making it look better. But also taking into an account, like, what your objectives were and telling the brand story, I mean, that was like A big. A big piece of it, too.

Yeah. So getting organized sounds like a big theme.

Yeah.

Like, getting clear. Getting organized has been a big theme in many of the things that you do, which is funny because you're like, I have to get clear and organized, and you help people do that, which probably really helped you do that in your brand as well. So I can't skip the piece. Just that you told me that you did stand up comedy in New York. So when did that come?

Oh, okay. So this is actually a great story. So I got asked. This is back when I got asked to be on the Steve Harvey Show.

Okay.

And I was like, holy shit, this is such a huge opportunity. This is amazing. And the only obstacle was the producer that was booking me for the show is like, does Sarah have any TV experience? I'm like, no. Yeah, absolutely not. And they're like, well, you know, the show is filmed in front of a 200 person, you know, live studio audience. Do you have any, you know, experience talking in front of people? Yeah, I was kind of like, I give presentations at work and, you know, whatever, but I was just pulling everything.

Out of your ass.

Pulling everything out of my ass. Basically how I got around. This is my friend who I was working with at the time. She. We filmed a video of me, like, like, doing, like, whatever my segment was gonna be. And she's like, we just need to show that you're, you know, comfortable in front of a camera, what have you. So we. We shot the video, we sent it in. They're like, this looks great. We're gonna book you. But then the realization came over to me that, wait, that whole 200 person, like, live studio audience piece is gonna be real. Real. And, like, literally, I've done presentations in front of, like, five people, not in front of crowds. So I was like, how do I get crowd experience and fast?

Yeah.

And really, I like. I was like, there's so many open mics. There's open mics around New York for comedy. And I used to go to comedy shows. I lived in Greenwich Village, New York. There's like a comedy club. Like, anytime you, like, throw a rock, you're gonna hit a comedy club.

Yeah.

So I used to go to. I used to go to shows.

Just.

I would be walking down the street and see one open, and I would go in because I just love. Obviously, I love comedy, right? So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna start signing up for open mics and just get some, like, random. My experience.

That's scaring me, right?

Now thinking about it. Yeah.

Like, I can speak in front of thousands of people, but like, being so raw to the point of like, you're either. They either laugh or they don't. Like, when you're speaking, you don't know if they like you. Like, there's always resting bitch faces, but there's usually a few nice people nodding. But like comedy, you're failing or not.

Yeah, it's very clear. Yeah. And it's clear to everyone. Like, oh, God. Let me tell you, from doing open mic around New York, like, there's nothing worse than like a bombed. Like a bombing a set or like seeing somebody bomb. I actually think it's worse watching something it might be then actually bombing because.

You want to help them.

You want to help and then you can't. Room is tense and it's just. It's awful. Yeah. So, yeah, I was like, I need to figure out how to be a stand up, like by tomorrow because I signed up for this.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

How long is my podcast? Okay, we're fine. Because I need to ask about this. So I'm super obsessed with comedy because I think that it translates into life how you speak. I actually will watch comedy shows before I go speak because they are. And you know this. So I'm just like chatting about it. But they're the most in touch with their audience and they also, like, have to be. So it's universal truths. And a lot of times universal truths now are. Now there's so many that are blurry. Like they're still there and it still feels true. But are we allowed to say certain things? And you're pushing kind of like boundaries and you're trying to figure out what that connection is going to be. And I don't know, it's a really crazy. Not only timing, but connection.

Oh, yeah.

Connection thing.

It is amazing. And something I didn't know until actually doing it is, I'm like, It is probably 50% the joke of what you're saying, and the other 50% is the delivery.

Yes.

Because you can, you can also get away with saying shit that might, you know, not necessarily fly, but it's all based off of how you're saying yes. Which is. It is such a craft. It is such an art. And like, you watch some of the best standup comedians and it's incredible. Like, you watch like Chris Rock, how he just like Dave Chappelle, like, their delivery is just impeccable.

Yeah.

And you get so much out of like, what your. The joke is just based off of how they're saying it and not necessarily what they're even saying.

Yeah.

So up until this point, I mean, I had been telling jokes on the Internet for. For, you know, years. I'm like, I have a bunch of jokes. Yeah. I just used up with meme cards. Literally, I'm like, when your mom. Yeah, you're there. But, like, nobody gets it, you know, you're like, huh, where's my picture.

Slideshow? Behind you. And just thumbs up or thumbs down.

Yeah.

Okay.

Literally. Like, like or not like. But that was one of the things I realized. So I was like, I started, you know, putting some jokes together, and I was like, let me just try this out loud in my apartment. I start saying these jokes. I'm like, this isn't fucking funny. Ye.

Like, I don't think this is funny.

I know. In a tweet is so different than actually saying it out loud.

Yeah.

So one of the things I did, and I don't know where I got this idea, but I started doing it a lot is I would. I had my jokes and I would record them on my phone. Like, I would just, you know, I wouldn't like, put myself on video because that always makes me nervous, but I would just audio record me saying the jokes.

Yeah.

Over and over and over again. Like, trying to find, feel out, like, the way that I would say it and how, like, it would just change. And then I would record. I recorded myself, you know, saying a five minute spiel of jokes. Yeah. And I would just walk around and listen to it over and over and over again because I also had to memorize it. That's another thing. It's not like being on the Internet where I can just write a joke and put it up. I'm like, I have to memorize, like five minutes worth of.

Yeah.

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So I'm literally sitting with you right now in that, like, fear and pain and excitement and like, what the hell did I do? I did spoken word for just like a brief year of my life. And it was like, kind of like that. Like you'd write something down, but once you would say it out loud, you're like, that sounds so stupid. Or you need to put like some other sort of feeling behind it. Or you need to like, try saying it 50 different ways. And I walked around listening to, like myself recorded.

Yeah.

For a very long time, trying to memorize different things. So anyway, different but similar.

Okay, we have so many similarities in our story. Are we.

This. We're the same person just in a. Yeah. In a different body. But that is. I'm literally sitting with you because I understand, like, the fear of. Okay, so this. And this is how it works. So I want everyone to hear, like, this is how it works. You don't, like, practice and do all these things and then you get the Steve Harvey show somehow, somewhere, because you showed up authentically you and you were just keeping on with your hustle. You get an opportunity and what happens is so many people would have said no to that. Or like, I'm not ready for that. Why Would this happen? I don't have this experience. Or. Or. Or they would say, do you have TV experience? And I see this all the time. No, I don't. Oh, my God. Make that shit up. Like, I lie my way to get opportunities, and then I just figure it out. And if that sounds too harsh for you, it's the. It's the damn truth. You're like, yeah, I have experience. Okay. It was your family that you were standing in front of, but you have experience, and then you created it to make sure you don't make a complete. A hole of yourself in front of everyone. Okay, so stand up. Like, let's fast forward to the first. Like, you're gonna go do your standup routine. Are there people in the audience?

Oh, yeah. So actually, what was really cool. What was really cool, and I loved this, and I actually started doing this open mic quite a bit in New York as they had an all female mic night.

Okay.

And I was like, okay. Like, my audience is mostly female. My jokes are mostly female centric. I feel comfortable with my chicks. For some reason, that just made me a lot more comfortable. And so I showed up at this open mic. You go downstairs, like a dark ass room, you know, one spotlight on the stage, and. And you. You write your name down. You don't really necessarily know when you're gonna go up. Like, thank God there was a couple people in front of me so I could watch them. And to be honest, like, the truth of the matter is, is, like, I just watched girl after girl bomb.

Yeah.

Like, they were so bad. Yeah.

Yeah. That you were like, okay.

I was like, honestly, it made me feel so much better. I was like, okay. If I had showed up and like, these girls were, like, crushing it and the room was roaring total laughter. But, yeah, it really was. It's a practice. It's how comedians practice. So, you know, I watched each person kind of stumble through their set, and nothing was perfect. And I was like, oh, my God, thank God. I feel so much better.

Yeah.

So by the time it was my name got called and I got to walk up on stage and you know when you're up there, you realize, like, you can't really see anybody. It's like the lights in your eyes. Like, I just started, like, repeating the things that I had already said. And I got, like, a couple laughs in the beginning. And I knew immediately was like, oh, okay, okay, we can breeze through this. I actually did really well in my first set. And then I can't say the same for like, like the next, like, Eight sets. I did, like, pretty bad.

Yeah.

That first one.

Beginner's luck.

Yeah. That first one I had some confidence and. And one thing I will say about this whole experience too, is which I found to be really, really interesting in my own life, is up until that point, like, I had been doing comedy online and I always loved standup comedy. And I always thought, you know, maybe maybe I'm like an amazing stand up comedian. Maybe that's my path. And it wasn't until, like, me doing it and really going for it and trying it and trying it and trying it, I realized it wasn't necessarily, like, the road I wanted to go down.

Yes.

But I would have never known and I maybe would have always wondered, like, should I do standup unless I had tried it and really went for it.

Million percent.

Yeah.

And that experience now is probably, like, not only one of the best experiences for, like, wow, I can really do anything. It also just makes for really great dinner stories, which makes you way more interesting to random people when you meet them.

That's, like, why I do 90% of the things.

Same.

Yeah, same.

I'm like, I'm gonna have nothing to talk about if I don't do something new soon, like, mix this shit up again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's. Oh, what was I gonna say about the comedy? And something similar had happened to me with. Oh, yeah, I didn't. I thought I was literally like, oh, my God. Maybe I'm like this new spoken word poet that's just gonna knock every, like, surprise everyone. This white girl who's just gonna, like, crush it.

Yeah.

And then I did it, like, a few times on very large stages, and I was like, yeah, that's super. Not for me. Like, definitely loved it. And it pushed my edges more than anything I have ever done in my entire life because it is really raw.

Right?

Like, it's like you're probably. You're writing things that you're trying to hit people and a little bit shock them. Like, that you're being. Being so vulnerable, which is comedy. And I just was like, yeah, you know, don't want to do. I'm good. Not doing that anymore. Like, yeah, yeah, it was a lot.

It might have shown you, like, other things, though, that you did like about it. You're like, oh, maybe I like being. Speaking in front of people, but maybe not in this format. For me, it was like, I loved writing the jokes.

Yeah.

Like, I loved writing the jokes and I didn't love performing them.

Yeah.

So I was like, okay. My medium of choice is really what I should be focusing on, is continuing to write this stuff and not necessarily get too bogged down in the whole performance piece. Yeah.

And I think if it's in you, though, if you feel like, oh, I need to do this, I think it's so important to do it now. You check that off your list and you can actually give total focus on something else. Now, you don't watch a Netflix, you know, special with a female comedian, and you don't sit there and you're like, that could have been me. You know what I mean? Now you. It's so cool to watch things after that and be like, I can appreciate this actually so much more because I know exactly what went into a set that's an hour long.

Yeah.

To feel in all of that, like, pressure, especially. I know that there's just a whole thing with, like, female comedians and male comedians. Like, if you are performing with male comedians as well, like, that's because females are more. I wouldn't say new to the game.

Right.

But it's kind of like, yeah, female comedians are a little less.

I think the hard part with female comedy, and I realize this through performing standup, is a lot of the audience is male. Like, I think that more and more, you know, females are enjoying comedy and doing it more. But I know when I was performing it, I was. I was. A lot of the times, unless I was at that female open mic, I was performing it in front of a bunch of dudes, dudes. And I'm like, they're not getting my jokes.

Yeah, totally.

So it makes it a little bit harder than, like, say if you have an audience on Instagram who, you know, like, people are following it because they are coming for your content, but especially when you're starting out as a comedian, like, you can't choose your audience.

Right.

Yeah. So it. That was tough because I'm like, I know what I'm saying is funny. And these motherfuckers aren't laughing. It's like, they don't. They can't, like, identify with having, like, a heavy flow.

You know, they're like, we don't know about that, nor are we sure we want to hear about it.

Yeah, it's.

It's funny because it's always. That's speaking too. So I. I feel like anybody listening, like, you know, a lot of my audience listening to this is not male. Like, 99 is female. And it's because I'm always sharing from my perspective. Like, it's really like, I'm using my voice, thinking that I'm always talking to a female is like how that structured. So it's interesting because there is, you know, I've seen, I've seen female comedians and female writers and whatever, coaches or whatever that looks like you really are taking two stances. It's kind of like you're either talking from your position to women or in comedy. It's like they're talking about what they think the men think about them, you know, and then the men can relate. But it's kind of like that two roads of like what kind of of comedy are you or what storyline are you putting out, which kind of relates to like content in general. Right. Like, you really have to think of those things, like who is going to be your audience and what perspective are they going to relate to the most? So, yeah, just another layer of why I love comedy.

For sure.

Comedy is life.

It's the best. And there's so many. There's so many good female standups too that I just like absolutely love crushing it. I think my, my all time is Amy Schumer.

Okay.

I like that she was like the first female comedy stand up person. I remember her first special ever that I was like crying, laughing, and I was like, I want that. She made me want to try stand up. Oh, I love. I was like, oh, like her jokes are just like really landing on me. And I'm like, that was like the first person I saw that I was like, oh, maybe I could. Maybe I could do this. I love Eliza Schlesinger, I think is hilarious.

Have you listened to her book on audio?

No.

It's like the best experience of my life. I literally was walking around Santa Monica like bursting out laughing, like pointing at.

My headphones like, she's brilliant.

Brilliant.

And another person who just again is like coming from her experience and like you really feel like a connection to everything she's saying. Love.

Totally, totally love her. Okay, so comedy went into. Then what was after that.

So. Oh my gosh. Well, I ended up doing the show. I ended up, you know, getting some experience on stage doing Steve Harvey, which was crazy. And like another one of those experience that was like totally transformative because I had to totally fake it.

Yeah. So tell me about what that's like because I think which I want to touch on expectations even around I know that you're a Covid bride, so you're still waiting for that moment in the sun. But let's talk about that because I think that everything that I've ever experienced in my life that I thought was Going to be one way, like this thing that was going to be big or that I. Whatever. It's a different expectation of what it was, and it is extremely transformative. But sometimes people think of that as, like, it was terrible or it wasn't what I expected, but it's exactly what you needed. So tell me what your expectation was and then what? Actually, you had to show up and be nimble and do.

Yeah, so my expectation. I don't know if I even. My expectation was just. I'm like, you're gonna get through this alive.

Yeah, that's a good expectation, actually.

That's literally the only thing I could think of.

You can't fail at that unless something in the student studio goes terribly wrong.

I know, but I was like. I really. Like, we're rolling the dice here. Like, I don't know how this is going to be. I've never done live television before, so I remember, you know, flying to Chicago. Like, they pick me up in a car with my name on it, and I was like, holy shit, this is real.

You know, we go to.

We walk into, like, NBC Studios, which is, like, beautiful. They walk you to, like, the back room, and I have my own green room. Yeah. The whole time, I'm like. Like, I shouldn't be here. Like, somebody made a huge mistake. Like, they think I'm this person. I'm not. Like. You know, and I. The whole time, I was having these internal thoughts, and I kept just saying to myself, I'm like, yeah, we can fucking think this, but on the outside, I'm gonna smile. I'm gonna look so calm. I'm gonna look like somebody who I would look at and be like, that girl looks like she's supposed to be here. So the whole time, I was just. I was like. I made up that character of somebody who I thought was supposed to be going on the Steve Harvey show. And I was like, I'm just gonna act like her. And that's literally what I did on the outside. And I was, like, super friendly with the producers I was meeting. And, you know, everyone backstage, I was just, like, kind of joking around and being friendly with them. And the whole time, I'm like, who the. But I totally. I faked it. You know, I faked the whole thing. I didn't. It didn't feel. It didn't feel natural to me one bit. But I just, you know, had to put on that smiling, you know, calm face, and. And I was doing pretty good until I got on the stage. And then, like, Steve Harvey comes in Out.

And you're.

You're in front of 200.

Wait, I didn't know you were going to be here.

But, like, he's such a legend and such like a, you know, like, incredible entertainer. And. And, you know, he walks out and you're in front of 200 people, and they. There's cameras and there's lights, and somebody's literally counting down. Okay, like, 15 seconds, you know, 10 seconds, you know, nine, eight. And I'm literally. I just feel all the color and, like, my saliva is to. Going gone. I have zero saliva.

Yeah.

And I'm like. I have to start saying words. And I'm, like, literally trying to, like, in. In my mouth. Try to, like, form, like, form saliva in my mouth so I can speak.

Yes, totally.

Yeah, it was. It was crazy. And, like, you know, he introduces me and I have the teleprompter there, and I literally was probably a deer in headlights for a couple seconds. And then I just was like, okay, you have to. You have to read. You have to just. Just use read and just, you know, keep that smiling face on. And I started speaking and I honestly was, like, blacked out for, like.

Was everything on a teleprompter? So was, like, it planned, or did you. Were you telling jokes on here or what was the point of your segment?

My segment was planned. It was actually like a Social Media 101, because Steve's audience is, like, a little bit older and they're not super familiar with social. And actually I ended up being on the show three times.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, it was really cool.

So you must have done okay.

Yeah, exactly. But that was the whole thing. I was like, even in my head, I thought I did such a bad job. And I went back and watched it, and I was like, okay. Like, I looked like I knew what I was doing. That was the whole goal. So it was a really. It was a great experience for me. And, like, I also am somebody who's pretty hard on myself, so it was just like, you know, being calm and. And baking it till you make it. Yeah, really kind of. I was like, these are tools that now I've put to the test and I will take with me wherever I go. Yeah.

And I can't tell you how many times I've felt that way. That exact description was pretty 110% accurate of what it feels like. I think just even booking the thing or getting there is just the very beginning. There is a mental thing that goes on from the weeks leading up to that date that are Where I think people sabotage themselves out of it. You have to just, like, lie to yourself is what it feels like the whole time, and be like, you're gonna be fine. Like, it's not even, like, you're gonna be great and nail this. I think that's where I. Like, that's where I've gone wrong in certain things, is trying to set an expectation of something big that I've never done before. Like, you're gonna be great. You're gonna win this, or you're gonna do that. And it's like, just live through the first one. Just like you said. It couldn't be more accurate. Like, just make it through and don't totally lose your shit. Like.

Yeah.

Because there are moments, like, I don't know about you, when I get so nervous, sometimes I want to cry or run.

Oh, yeah.

I'm just like. It's an actual feeling where crying would feel very relieving, and running would be like. Like heaven. Like, you're like, why am I doing this to myself?

Yeah. Can you imagine if Steve Harvey was like, and now Sarah Merrill and I just cried and ran off the stage. I mean, it's probably happened before.

They probably have, like, a background backup, Sarah. They for sure do that. They push out on stage, and they're just like, thank God we had a backup.

So true.

Okay, so expectations you.

Oh, that's what I wanted to say. Yeah. So I wanted to say. So that was like, another piece of. It is, especially if you're going into something new that you. You don't have any kind of data on yourself. Like, you know, you're like, I don't know how I'm going to do at this, because it's still pretty new to me. Like, I mean, I started. I went deep into, like, all the, like, tools. I was, like, listening to the podcast and all the things, and I was like, all right, I'm going to visualize me crushing this. So I didn't want to give myself the expectation of, hey, you're going to. You're going to go out there and you're going to be the fucking best guest that Steve Harvey's ever interviewed. But I did spend a lot of time, like, even on the plane over there, like, in the taxi to NBC Studios, I would just close my eyes and I would be like, all right, I'm in front of the studio. I say something. Roar of laughter. Like, I was just like, I'm going to, you know, do everything they want me to do. I'm going to do it. Well, And I really took that visualization piece to heart. Especially if you've never done something like having some type of using your imagination to create a world in which you do the thing pretty good.

Yep.

I think was really helpful.

It's a million percent. Like, you're. You're creating your experience before the experience. Like, it just. You get there and it's not shocking. Yeah. And if the thing that I always try to do is try to get on that stage beforehand, if you can. Obviously you probably couldn't get up there and, like, get your rehearsal or anything like that. But if you ever get the opportunity. Anyone listening? If you can be on stage, some people are like, no, no, I don't need to rehearse. Get on the stage. Because just like what you said when you were doing comedy, you're like, oh, my God. I realized I couldn't see the audience. And you're like, I might have changed my visualization a little bit, knowing I couldn't, you know, couldn't see the audience, or it would have felt this way. Or these lights would have been so damn hot. Maybe I wouldn't have worn this makeup or this dress. 100%, because all of those things are. Are super helpful. Yeah. So your wedding was supposed to be like, what, a few weeks ago?

Last weekend.

Okay.

Or we're in this airs. It'll be a couple weeks ago. But yes, I.

What did that feel like when your date passed?

When my date came, I got really sad. I'm not gonna lie. I actually. I'm somebody who's, like, not that emotional. And, like, everybody knows that about me.

Yeah.

That's why I'm like a, you know, jerk online. Right.

It's just easier.

Sassy. Yeah. Sarcastic. Like, I'm not, like, a huge emotional range. But the day came. I mean, my fiance and I have been dating for seven years. We had been, you know, we got engaged well over a year ago, so there was a lot of buildup to our wedding. And obviously through 2020. For any bride in 2020 knows, there's just. There was so much uncertainty all year long, wondering if we should postpone, wondering if we should go ahead with it. And we obviously decided to postpone, which I think turned out to be the right plan. But the day came and, you know, we were. We actually went to our venue because we. We vacationed there for. We were like. We already, you know, booked the place. We have all this time off.

Yeah.

We might as well go and enjoy it even if, like, our wedding isn't happening. So I was There I saw the way the sun, you know, set was, and the temperature was great, and. And it made me. I was just like, oh, you know, it's such a bummer. Like, I. The plan that I had for our lives, I'm kind of, like, watching go away. Like, we were gonna have this wedding. We were gonna go honeymoon. We were gonna start, like, trying to have a family. And I'm like, wow, everything is messed up because of this. And all of those goals and dreams are kind of like, I have to put them away for now. So it was a bummer. It was definitely, like, it happened. And I wasn't expecting to get as emotional as I did, but I definitely.

Yeah, for sure. That's that. And it's interesting because everything that you just said was, it's real and it's not. And I know that sounds so weird and insensitive, but at the same time, it's like, I look at the things that I put on a date and, like, I can start after this. Like, you just made me actually think of my life. Like, I'm always like, oh, I can start that family after this, or I can start this.

We have this.

These expectations and these thoughts of, like, when things need to happen or what it is. And it's like, while, yes, 1 million percent, like, life could still be the same. And even if you have to wait on certain things, even though, like, that's probably the most rude thing to ever say, but it's kind of. It's kind of like just making me be like, damn, we kind of do that to ourselves in a lot of places. So I guess what is like, have you. It's a little new. I'm kind of just like, hey, you know that wound. I'm pouring salt on it right now. Have you, like, gotten, like, a lesson or any sort of, like, something that's made you guys stronger or brought you closer together because of it?

Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely. Is still very, very new. And actually, so on the day of our actual would be wedding, I was so annoyed at my fiance. I was so mad at him because, like, I obviously, I think I was emotional, and I. To take it out on somebody. And I was like, you're looking pretty good over there.

But also, easy target.

Yeah. But also, he. I was like, you know, we're here, and I wanted to do something special, and you're being so difficult. I'm like, why don't we, like. I was trying to, like, show him restaurants we could get reservations at. And he was like, oh, I'LL call. But then he, like, never called. And I was just like, our day is here and you didn't do anything. Little did I know he had this whole elaborate thing planned for me, so I was annoyed with him all day. And then, like. Like, I. We get to, like, this. The backyard, and it's basically set up as, like, a mini wedding. Like, it was like, a beautiful.

Like, I saw it on Instagram. It was amazing.

It was amazing. And, like, he had, like, a private chef cook us this, like, beautiful dinner and had, like, a whole wine pairing. And, like, it was at sunset, like, around the time we would have been.

It looked like a wedding. It was stunning.

Honestly, it was, like, better than the wedding that we had planned.

You're like, you know what? Should we just get up into your vials before this?

You know, honestly, that's like. The big thing is I'm looking back now and I'm like, I wish we just kind of, like, got married and had that been our. Had our. Been our wedding, like, maybe invited our parents, maybe flew out and, like, a couple friends. But it could have been, like, 10 people, it could have been 15 people, and we could have just done it and been done with it.

Well, maybe you rethink how you do it, you know?

I know. I mean, that's like. The only thing is, I think through going through this experience, I'm, like. I'm re. Realizing what it's all about. And it's like your marriage with, like, one other person. And, like, who cares about the actual wedding? I know. I'm, like, still kind of, like, maybe just. Yeah.

It's interesting. I will tell you one thing that if I. But it's weird.

I.

It's like sometimes you need to do the thing to know to mark it off. That that wasn't the thing. Except your wedding, you really usually only get one shot at doing a thing.

Yeah.

So for me, you know, we had a little bit bigger wedding. Not huge, but it was 300 people. And I.

Just a casual little backyard.

The thing is, I feel like I knew 20 of the people and, you know, like, feel like I really knew them. Like, I knew of a lot of people, and it was. It's just a lot of, like, family you don't really see or acquaintances and things like that. And I cried at my wedding because I didn't see my husband the first two hours because he was. Everybody was pulling him away, and people were pulling me away.

Oh, wow.

And so I started, like, bawling two hours in because I said I still I got married. I said, I do. And literally, him and I got separated for two hours after. So I was like, that's crazy. I grabbed a couple family members, and I said, you need to make sure him and I do not separate for the rest of the night. Like, no matter who comes up. And because so many people are like. What happens is, they're like, you have to meet this person and this person. You have to go around to each table and do these niceties. Okay, well, your wedding's only four hours long. Okay?

So you.

If I could go back and do anything, I would have spent the whole time with him.

I actually got that advice from one of my friends who went through this. She's like, literally, like, grip your hands together and do not get pulled away. Like, you have to, like, go through the whole thing together because, like, it happens, and you don't. I never would have thought.

You don't even. You're trying to be cordial, and everybody wants to see you, meet you maybe from the other side or, you know, if they don't know you yet or tell you how beautiful it was or give you marital advice, and you're just like, shut up, Susan. I want to see my husband. Like, and I need a glass of champagne right now. I paid so much for this party, and I can't enjoy it. I'm listening to you. God, it's horrible.

So can't wait.

So with that said, could you have a big wedding? Yes. But, like, literally have guardians and, like, set boundaries, or I would announce it. Like, if I was doing it again, I'd be like, hey, this is our day. We're gonna spend the day together. I love you. Thanks for coming to the party. You know, don't get me a gift if you feel like I have to do something in exchange.

Yeah, it's great. But also, maybe you still get me the gift.

Also, money is awesome.

So here's my venmo handle. No 100%. I will say, like, the good one of the, you know, silver linings to come out of COVID And I feel like I've talked to a lot of other brides who have had their wedding day affected, but I feel like there is a lot less expectation around weddings now. Like, we're even going back, and we're changing the wedding we had originally planned and making it just, like, way more casual. Like, we still. We want our people to be there. We want to do the thing, but we're gonna, like, make it a lot easier on ourselves.

Yes. Oh, my God. Take the stress out of the mix.

Yeah. At least try. Yeah.

I mean, of course there's gonna be random stress in there, but I think that's a huge thing that people are seeing is like, wow, we really used to stress ourselves out a lot, even just trying to meet people for coffee across town.

Yeah.

Like, maybe I won't do that. Like, maybe I'll just zoom that person that I don't know very well. Well, you know.

Yeah.

It's crazy. So, okay, so your podcast is relaunching.

Yay.

In September.

Yes.

What is your main things? Like, who is it for? What are your main things that you, like, love to talk about?

Yeah. So the whole. The whole thing with the podcast and. And why I wanted to do this is because I've been. I've been making jokes on the Internet for almost 10 years, and. And really, like, what's fun for me is I can go back at, like, the content I put up when I was 22, 23, 24, and I can read a tweet I put up, and I know exactly who that Sarah was.

Yeah.

I'm like, I could put myself back there. I know what she was. And I. And now looking at that, I'm like, wow, I wish I could have told her this. Yeah, I wish. You know, like, I saw the big kid problem that she was joking about. I'm like, if only she knew. Xyz. So I wanted to create the podcast for, like, my younger self about all the big kid problems that I've been through and not only talk about them, not only give, like, relatable, actual stories about, like, somebody who's been through the actual big kid problem, but then bring in experts, bring in people who know what the hell they're talking about, and, like, actually give, like, tools and resources to that person who's going through it on how to, you know, get through it.

Yeah.

So that's, like, the whole thing. And so every episode, I take, like, a big kid problem, and we break it down, we tell some stories, we bring in an expert, and I. It's so much fun. It's been such a ride, and it's a lot more work than I ever, ever thought. I mean, you know, you've been doing this for longer than I have, but it's really, really rewarding because I've always loved telling the jokes. But now that I'm actually, like, going in a little bit deeper and, like, sharing some of the stories behind these jokes and really getting into it, it's just been so much fun. So I'm really Excited to bring the show back. I've been working on it on this season for months. Months. Interviewing, doing lots of interviews, you know, on Zoom. And I mean, I can't wait till things are back to normal, but it's been a blast.

I know, but. Well, that's gonna be huge. That'll give us something to look forward to.

Yeah, you're gonna be on. I love our episode.

Oh, I can't wait. I'm so excited. Also, I'll definitely link that one up and share that one when that comes out. And where can we find you and follow you in all of the things?

Things. Yeah. So I'm big kid problems on every social channel, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, if you you're so inclined. And the podcast is the big kid problems podcast. So come hang out.

Yes, you guys. And it's huge because you're doing kind of a little like relaunch for your new season. So also, if you want to give her a huge wedding gift, a pre wedding gift, go rate, review and subscribe. And let us know what your biggest takeaway was from this podcast. Make sure you tag her at big kid problems and let us know what your biggest takeaway was. So, you guys, if you love this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it with a friend. And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye, everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happiness. Be thanks again, guys.

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