608. How to Manage the Highs and Lows

I feel like, all right, I've got enough plans to make sure this works out in my favor, even if A, B and C and D fall through. And then because I have the plans, that allows me to actually get into and stay in that positive high vibe. Because now I know I got it taken care of one way or another.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. And we're back with another episode of he said, she Said.

What are we gonna talk about today?

We're gonna talk about highs and lows.

Specifically not getting too high on the highs and too low on the lows.

Because they simultaneously exist together daily.

Exactly. Okay, so we're on a walk yesterday and we had, like, this extraordinary day, and, you know, we're walking along talking about, like, oh, my God, this exciting thing happened, and, oh, my God, this exciting thing happened, and just all the good things are happening at once. And then I don't know how we got on the subject, but then it's like, oh, shoot, we still have to take care of this one great big, challenging hurdle over here. And, oh, my God, I forgot to handle this. And all of a sudden we realized if you're doing it right, if you have enough things going, and I'm sure all of you do, then you're always going to have highs at the same time as having some lows, and they will always simultaneously exist together. And this was really, really important because the realization here is you can't get addicted to one or the other because they're always both going to be there. In other words, you can't all of a sudden not appreciate the highs just because there's a low to deal with during the day, because there's always going to be.

Yeah, And I think it's not that we're saying, like, don't get too high on the highs, like, don't enjoy them. That's exactly what we're saying. Like, we allow ourselves to get so High. But what we are saying is, like, don't, like, constantly wait for those every single day. Like, don't, you know, make your entire day a good day only if it includes highs. And I think that's so important because we can get. It's really easy, you guys, especially once you start putting a lot of things in play, in action, to get addicted to those highs and to start basing your day off of how many of those did I get if I didn't get any? It's not a good day. And that's not how it looks. That's not how it balances out. So if it were on, like, a complete tracking sheet, you would see that you would end up with a really beautiful even spot in the middle. If you kind of look at, whoa, that was a really low day. That was a really high day. It's. It's kind of about thinking of your life as averages. Like, you have to spend. Spend some of your life in the lows to actually appreciate the highs. And it's just the truth, because I was talking to Chris and I'm like, man, these highs are super addictive right now because we had gone through some, you know, pretty low spots recently and through the years, and it's really easy to be like, oh, my God, I'm so addicted to these highs. What else, what else, what else? And when you're not getting them to feel like, oh, my God, where are they? And the thing is, is that in order to get those highs again, you also have to experience the lows. And I kind of want to push it and say, I don't want to just say experience the lows. I want to say, learn to come from a place where you appreciate those lows. And I don't even necessarily want to call them lows. I want to call them, like, you know, something about moving through the actual problems or things like that that you need to move through. And you made a really good point yesterday when we were talking about something, and it's, how do you support yourself to get back into the frequency or vibration of the thing that you want? Because I always ask you, are you a match for your desire right now? And I always ask myself that. And you tell me, like, there's a couple things that you need to do in order to get back into being that match. Do you want to share that?

Well, yeah. Okay. So when it comes to staying in the vibe of the highs to attract more highs, Lori and I are very different. So she'll say, what is it that you always say? It's does your energy a match what you want to attract? Am I saying that right?

Yeah.

And, like, we'll be on a walk. Literally, I'll do, are you a match.

For what you desire?

That's what I knew it was something a little bit better in a way of saying, are you a match for what you desire? Right now I'm like, I'm just thinking. She's like, you gotta be a match for what you desire. I'm like, we're just on a walk. But I get it because it's real. But then I'll tell. I'll tell her. I'm like, I get there differently. I get there by thinking through all of the scenarios and all of the backup plans to ensure that we win in any situation. So if we are, I don't know, buying a piece of property, I will go through scenario A and then scenario B, if scenario A falls through, and then scenario C and scenario D and maybe even an E before I feel like, all right, I've got enough plans to make sure this works out in my favor, even if A, B and C and D fall through. And then because I have the plans, that allows me to actually get into and stay in that positive, high vibe, because now I know I got it taken care of one way or another.

Yeah, I love this. And I actually do this with other things, for sure. It's just some things that, you know, require your attention as well. I don't know all of the backup plans or how that's gonna, you know, how that works in certain scenarios. Talking about, you know, maybe purchasing property or purchasing, you know, a home or purchasing, like, certain things that are just dealing with a lot of numbers I've never dealt with before, which I'm learning, which is super exciting. And with that said, I think I do this with other things all the time. Like, if I feel fear around, am I going to get that speaking gig? Am I going to get that book deal? I always create, like, these backup plans of if I don't, what will I do? Will I, you know, email or ask again? Will I reach out to somebody else who's speaking to try to give a good word in? Will I, like, I create these back backup plans of what will happen. And then I also do this thing where I sit with, if it doesn't go through, like, if things don't happen, like, can I accept that outcome? And it's not even a question of can I accept it. I actually make myself accept it. And I do that by knowing that if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be and something better will come along. And that's been hugely helpful for me to stay in a high vibration and be like, all right, I'm going to stay up here. I'm not going to let fear happen, because if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't meant to be. So that's going to allow me to lean back into, like, the good space of it is happening. It's already happened.

I'm big on finding the silver lining in any single outcome because there always is one. Right. And so sticking with the subject of not getting too high in the highs and too low in the lows, one of the things that stops me from getting too low on the lows is literally I've trained myself to find the silver lining. So if this opportunity falls through, well, not just something like, oh, was it meant to be? For me, things are tangible. Right. So, well, good, then that means that we can redirect our capital to another opportunity, or that means that I can now go partner with this person on this thing. So I'm always looking for silver linings in order to keep the lows from really feeling like lows. Because you're going to get what you look for. I'm a huge believer in this. I teach this all the time. You're going to get what you look for. So why not train yourself to look for the silver linings? Because there always is one if you're willing to dig deep enough.

Yeah. And it's crazy because every single day there's something, there's a problem that you're solving. And just like we repeat ourselves on this over and over because these are truths that we believe, is that you are going to. You choose every single day to solve your own problems or somebody else's. So the fact that you get to solve problems is exactly why you are getting paid and you feel purpose and fulfillment. And back to this. You know, if we didn't experience these quote unquote lows that aren't actually lows, they are opportunities to get better, get stronger, create pride, to be able to grow and overcome things. That's how we create pride and confidence and problem solving skills is to stop looking at it like, oh, why is this happening again? Oh, this always happens to me. Welcome to life. Yes, it always happens. How are you going to go about it? Are you a person who just looks at it as all you do is look for solutions, then it's not a problem like you, you create solutions to everything. That comes your way. And I kind of just look at it as things like, I've stopped looking at it as, oh, this is a good thing coming, and this is a bad thing coming. And it's all just things that you face head on and you say, how do we get through? That's it. It's all just a lineup of things coming to you saying, how do I get through? Do I celebrate this one because it's a high, or do I learn to become someone else because it's something I've never dealt with? Do I need to bring in other people? How do I solve this? Who do I need to be to solve this? Who do I need to know to solve this? And we were talking in bed about this last night, and I think that this is a whole different episode, but I want to touch on it here because I feel like it's all in the same realm. And that is that, you know, I think that when people say, you know, oh, this isn't happening for me, or maybe that's not for me, or, you know, I tried this one thing and I was calling it in or meditating on it or manifesting it, or this is what I really desire. It was on my vision board. And they pretty much just try one way. And they think because they didn't get it, or they don't have the financing, or they don't know the people, or they don't have the network, whether this is book deals, whether this is homes, whether this is creating events, whether this is needing somebody new on your team, um, it's not just about, like, oh, it's not here right now. You need to dig deep and say, okay, this is on my. This is what I want. This is the thing that I want. What are all of the creative ideas and ways that I could potentially get this thing? And you need to come up with three to 10 different ways that include other people. And I think that's what people don't realize is people are putting things together. Like, it's not just that, oh, you know what? I can't have that big event because I don't have the money, I don't have the people, I don't have the venue. I don't have the cash for this. It's like, could you barter? Do you know anyone who could trade? Do you know somebody who could potentially help you pay for this event? Maybe if they become a part of it, could, you know a partner who could help you with those things? Could you have somebody else sign on with you on that Deal, you guys. That's how it's being put together. It's not being put together by one person. People are creating and manifesting their dreams with other people. And you have to be brave enough to ask and to show up and create agreements that are contractually healthy and binding for both parties. Like, put it together.

It's so funny. I actually. You don't know this. I dropped an episode. I forget what order these things come out in, but it either came out right before this one or it's coming out right after this one. And it talks about that it's rich. The difference between rich people and everybody else is rich people know that the solution is always there. Mine was actually titled that the money's always there. But the real point is they know the solution's always there, even if it's not in hand yet. And that is what you're describing. Right. And if I had to tie this back to not getting too high on the highs and too low on the lows. You don't get too low on the lows. If your default mentality is that you know that the money is there, it's just not in your hand yet, or you know that the solution is there, it's just not in your hand yet. Right. Or you know the answer is there, it's just not in your hand yet. Versus everyone else who's like, it's not there. I'm screwed.

Yep.

And that, to me, is one of the single biggest differences between the haves and the have nots in this world. And I don't just mean financially. I mean, like the haves in terms of I have a good life or I don't, or I have a happy life or I don't, or I have a great relationship or I don't. That's what I mean by the haves and have nots.

Absolutely. And I. I feel like I don't think people realize the extent that people put it together. Like, when I first started raising money for this company, I didn't know if everyone was in my network or not. Um, in fact, I was like, I'm probably going to have to network within my network and ask them for their networks. Um, so honestly, I was looking at a big circle of nothing in the beginning. Like, I don't even know where this is going to come from. I have no clue yet. And it happens step by step. By getting really creative and asking, you're going to have to ask everybody, do you know someone? Do you know other women who are looking to invest? Do you Know a guy who's looking to invest in something. Do you know all of these different things are going to come from. From getting really creative and asking questions. So if you're like, I don't have that network. Create the network by asking. Ask people who could potentially have it. I can't even tell you how shocked I am at the amount of answers I got just from putting things out. Like, hey, does anybody on Instagram or any of my Instagram friends know people who are alcohol experts or who've worked in the alcohol industry? I mean, I probably got, like, five different people who said, hey, I know this person. This person. Some people were really useful and some people weren't at this moment, but they could be in the future. So these are all things, you guys, that you need to be doing. Like, I see a lot of people just giving up on. Well, that's not me. I don't have that yet. I can't afford to go to these masterminds or whatever that is. You can absolutely afford to put posts out on Instagram because it's free. So. And you start small. And sometimes the leads don't even look like they're leads because it's like, I don't think they could help. Yeah, but that person, if you got on the phone with them, knows people who could, trust me, get on the phone anyway, ask great questions, and then ask for more referrals of people who could potentially help you with these questions.

You understand, right now the linear person in me is having an absolute meltdown that we started out with a subject and we just gone left and right and not going over.

Here's the thing.

The.

The.

No, I'm describing my personality.

I know. I love it.

I'm having a meltdown inside right now.

I know.

You're, like, off in left field teaching something super extraordinary. It has nothing to do with what.

It has everything to do with it because everything is layered and everything touches everything.

I know.

So I do have to tell you, in order to not be high. Here's why. Here's why. Because in order to not be high on the highs and low and the lows, you have to understand that things aren't just happening as you're manifesting, is.

What I'm trying to say, happening as.

They'Re happening as you put together creative ideas. And that is my whole point, is that people get so high and the highs, like, oh, this just happened. And low on the lows, like, oh, this isn't happening. That's not an answer. Those aren't answers. It's the in between and the balance of putting things together that create this like also knowing that you are the person who is the provider of all abundance and things in your life. Because I'm not saying you're not attached to a larger energy, you are. I'm saying that larger energy in God Source universe, whatever you believe is expecting you to get really creative.

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Yep. Absolutely. That's. Here's the bottom line. When you have the sense that you are fully responsible for every single outcome, and this doesn't mean the details of every outcome. This means the outcome. Right. So you might end up taking a bunch of left and right turns you didn't expect, but you still get to the destination.

Yeah.

When you have the sense that you are fully responsible for the outcome and not the circumstances, then that's one of the things that really helps you not get too high on the highs and too low on the lows. Because you know, the whole time it was within your control.

Yes.

Not the circumstances, but the outcome, the destination. And I just think that's how we believe. And you know, I mean guys, with that comes this great sense of taking responsibility, being willing to go back far enough and say, where did I become responsible for this current disaster? And if I became responsible somewhere way back behind the scenes for this current disaster, then how do I become responsible for fixing it? Because if I had the power to put me here, I have the power to deliver myself anywhere.

So good you guys, I'm so grateful for you. We would love for you to tag both of us and let us know what your biggest takeaway was on this. Chris, I know that you always have something exciting up your sleeve or something that you want to be sharing.

I do. Okay, you guys, we're taking only 15 of you. That's it. Like the most intimate thing that we've ever done and we are putting you into a room and coaching you live in the most hands on way that we ever, ever have. But only if you're an entrepreneur. So if you're not an entrepreneur, go ahead, just hit stop. Thank you for listening. We love you, love you, love you.

And we'll can't wait to talk to you next time.

But if you are an entrepreneur, then this is totally for 15 of you. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to do a one on one strategy session to get you set up for 2021. We're going to talk about your goals, build a set of tracks, getting there, everything. That alone is an $8,000 strategy session. Normally. Then we are going to put you in a room with 14 other people. Don't worry. Socially distanced. That's why it's a small group of people, great big room and we're going to workshop for three days. Our team and a lot of our friends that are super talented, they're going to come in and they're going to help you with everything. Your sales copy, your sales pages, your funnels, your Facebook ads, you name it. So you're not leaving there like, ooh, I learned something. You're leaving there with your plan in action and then we're going to have a handful of follow up zooms to make sure that your action continues to go in the right direction. And the whole idea is this. We promise to significantly boost your income for 2021 compared to whatever this year has dealt you. We promise to significantly boost it because of this hands on intimate income booster that we put together. And if we don't, we actually give you your entire investment back. If we don't double your investment in us, we're giving you your whole investment back. How cool is that? So anyhow, if you're interested, and only if you're interested, it's going to be you're getting over $40,000 worth of value for entry level five figure investment. So if you're curious and you feel like this fits you and you want the fast track to getting a lot of income produced really quickly in the beginning of 2021. Then text 2021 to me at 310-421-0416. Again, that number is 310-421-0416. We'll text back and forth, I'll answer your questions, we'll see if it's a good fit to make you one of the 15. This is the most intimate we've ever locked arms with someone before.

So exciting.

You guys.

I hope that we get to work with you and get to know you during that time so that we can just be a part of your journey and cheer you on. I'm telling you, Chris and I have done processes like this with people and it's completely elevated, scaled, escalated our businesses and we can't wait to do it with you.

Yep. So remember, text 2021, just the numbers 2021 to 310-421-0416 thanks for listening.

Thanks guys. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely, absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye. It.