615. Turn Pressure Into Performance

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Pressure is what makes somebody whose back is against the wall finally move forward when they've never moved forward and taken action before. Now here's where stress is different. Stress is just a negative interpretation of pressure.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of the Bliss Project. Three time fitness world champion, fitness expert and cover model turned sel love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. And we're back with another episode of he said she said.

How you doing, babe?

I'm doing awesome. We've had quite the day, man. We've had quite the week. This Monday.

This day is. Oh my God, it's Monday.

I literally. Yeah. But we worked all weekend.

We're like.

And it right now.

That's really going to be a good segue eventually into today's topic, which is pressure versus stress. Right.

It's been a week. I really meant that.

I know it just came out. But listen, we also have to celebrate. Like we can't just look at the things that are an uphill battle right now. We have to look at freaking wins. Less than a week ago, we said we're going to build what we needed.

Yes.

As high performance couples who know that we're going to face a lot of headwinds in 2021 always wanted with all of the pressure that we're taking on, we said we need to build what's going to keep you and I close together first and foremost. And we knew part of that was inviting other couples in. And I did not expect that in less than a week's time, four out of the six spots would already be filled. One is a likely filled. And at the time that we're recording this, there's probably one real spot left.

Yeah. I am like beyond excited because I wish we would have had this like two to three years ago when we were really looking for people who were like minded that we could actually call or rely on or just go hang out with or travel with to really have like this high performing, like conversations around the pressure of what happens and what it looks like and how to switch your mindset and how to like set your goals together and how to have conversations with each other around it and how to remain on the same page. You know, we figured it out and of course we do have some amazing friends. But having a specific container for check ins like this, you know, throughout the whole year, and that's what we've created is these epic experiences along with these kind of like workshopping, you know, with each other, setting goals, having these breakthrough conversations, getting to meet these like celebrity entrepreneurs and couples who, you know, you'd love to know what the inside of their relationship in their life looks like. Like how do you manage the pressure of all of it? And I think how you manage it is with other people. And that's how I've always managed everything is by connecting with other people. So that's what we created because we wanted it for ourselves this year. And we were like, why wouldn't we do that so you guys, we still have one SP got left. As of right now, high performing, high earning couples is what we are definitely looking for. And if it's you, we would love you to text us, which we're going to talk a lot about pressure on this podcast. But Chris, where can they text and what can they text? Because we would love, love, love to fill the spot with one other couple maybe who's not even on our radar right now.

Somebody outside the circle looking at. Because a lot of the people that we've brought into this very special container have been inside our circle. So it'd be cool to like inject some new outside perspective in. So anyhow, listen, if that's you, if you're listening, like, oh my God, I want to do this, then all you have to do is text couples 231-04-210416. That's it. Just send me the word couples. Nothing else. Just text me the word couples to 310-421-0416. And we will chat back and forth via text, maybe set up a zoom and see if we are meant to be. All right, I want to talk about made for each other. Mfoe. Is that what they used to say? But it's mfeo.

Mfeo.

Okay, listen, I really wanna get to today's topic because it's super important.

Yes.

Stress versus pressure. And I think a lot of people are gonna resonate with this.

Yeah, everyone.

There is a very, very, very, very, very big difference between stress and pressure. And the problem is most people lump them into the same thing. And one of them you should actually appreciate having, and the other one you should actually avoid creating. And so let me spoil you with a punchline right away. The difference between pressure and stress is that one is good, one is going to help you produce, and one is bad, one is just going to chip away at your production, at your health, at everything else. So pressure is good. Matter of fact, I want you to picture steam. Steam creates enough pressure that moves an entire locomotive down the tracks, pulling how many trillions of tons of train behind it? And our whole country was built on this, right? Steam trains pulling tons of goods down the tracks. To build this country, that was all based from pressure moving that steam engine. Pressure is also what makes an Olympic athlete a fraction of a second better than the one next to them. And that's how they set a personal record. Pressure is what makes somebody whose back is against the wall finally move forward when they've never moved forward and taken action before. Now here's where stress is different. Stress is just a negative interpretation of pressure. Let me repeat that because this is really important for everyone who's out there. I'm so stressed. They might actually be feeling pressure and be missing out on the benefits of pressure. Because stress is just a negative interpretation of pressure. It comes from living in the future. It comes from predicting all the things that could go wrong. You know, looking at all the potential failures instead of embracing the forward motion. That comes from pressure.

It's how you show up to pressure. That's all that it. It's how you greet pressure, it's how you handle situations. It's literally everything in life. It's exact same thing as in your relationship. How you show up to a fight and how you handle a fight. It's that decision making point. And I believe her name is Bonnie Jean King. Is that the tennis player Billie Jean? Billie Jean, Yep. Billie Jean King. She says pressure is a privilege and you have to seek it. So literally seeking pressure if you want to reach your goals. And you know, for me, I really wanted to sit and think about what pressure was and how I approach it and what that meant and kind of the formula of how to approach pressure and break it down. And when I thought about it, I thought, okay, when I'm pressured and I worry about it and I worry about all the things and these factors that I may not know that could happen or all of this, you know, these plans that I don't have, that's when I feel stressed. So pressure plus worry equals stress. So how can I change how I feel about pressure and how I come about facing pressure? Like, how can I change the way that I greet pressure? And for me, when I have a plan and I choose to focus on excitement and the positive of what could go right, that is when I feel that I'm going to reach my goals and it's like I actually get excited, right? So pressure plus a plan plus excitement equals your goals. Pressure plus a plan plus excitement equals your goals. So it's not just about like having a plan, it's about having a plan and a backup plan and another backup plan. And then even if those backup plans don't work, accepting all of the failure that could happen around it and saying, you know what, even if that thing happens that I don't want to happen, like worst case scenario, I will get through it. I've always just gotten through it. So even if I lose all my money, have to start over, get kicked out of my house or my apartment, whatever that Looks like, don't reach this thing. Look like a failure. You know, lose money, lose people's money. I will get through it. I will just find a way to come back and get better. So here's the thing, is, yes, accept that, but then please go back to the plan and stick to it and then go back to excitement. But that's literally what we do for every time there's pressure, is to remember pressure plus worry equals stress. And worry is just a prayer for chaos. We know that that's a course in miracles. We know that. You know, worrying is actually like anticipating and manifesting what you don't want to happen. So think about it, make a plan for it, and then stop worrying about it and go back into excitement. Yeah.

Listen, when I think back to every good thing we've ever accomplished, for the most part, it's been because of pressure. Pressure propelling us forward. You know, there was a deadline for something, and that created pressure. And the pressure then moved us forward in action bigger and faster than without that deadline, without that challenge.

Every.

I mean, we're talking products that we've come up with and then served thousands of people with. We're talking books. We're talking moves. We're talking. Every great accomplishment that we have done has come from having pressure. Now, they would not have come if we had interpreted that as stress. Stress would drag us, would drain us of our energy. Stress would make us afraid to move forward. Stress would make us. It would chip away at our confidence to accomplish what we're accomplishing. Pressure, good stress is just a manufactured, fake thing that's created in our minds when pressure is present.

So I always try to say to myself, like, I say that I'm so grateful for this pressure right now, and here is why is because you wouldn't do the thing without the pressure. So I'm thinking back to my when I all I wanted. Chris, in life, like, one of my biggest goals was to write a book. I promise you, if I would not have gotten that book deal had they not already paid me and then said, okay, we need this book by this deadline. Like, I had so many chapters left with a week left to go. I had, like eight chapters left with one week left to go. I had never written more than one chapter in a week at this point. And I was like, how am I going to do this? And the pressure of the money being on the line that they had already paid me, and then the pressure of letting people down was the only thing that made me stay up and complete my book. You Know, for all hours of the night and whatever that looked like. I would have never gotten a book out into the world if I wouldn't have had the pressure of letting people down. And money. So it was a double whammy. So I think that really great pressure to create for yourself is money, a large investment. And then also I think it's letting people down. So some of you think like, oh, I'm so scared. I don't want to put my goals out there. I don't want to tell too many people, you know, I don't want to look stupid in public. Use that as fuel because like Chris said, that is the thing that is going to move the train down the tracks. Like, but you have to reframe every day. Like, Chris, today we kind of like had a moment of just like, oh, shit, like, this is a lot. Do we really want this? And then we're like, we wouldn't be reaching these big goals that we've had for years if we did not have this pressure. And you know what, it does make you feel sometimes like you are going to freaking combust and you need to reframe. Like, you need to go for the walk. You need to take care of yourself. Like right now, Chris, we have got a couple really big weeks ahead of us and we're not drinking and we're going to bed really early and we're reminding each other to take our vitamins and we're saying, have you said a prayer yet today? Have you meditated? Have you listened to your book? Have you? What are you doing to support yourself around this pressure? Because to be able to make sure that the pressure is converted into power and strength to move you down the tracks, you've got to take care of yourself and surround yourself with epic people as well.

Know what's funny, the pressure of deadlines we have coming up and all sorts of, you know, really cool things, to be honest with you, is actually made us get back into the things that we knew we were supposed to be doing but weren't doing.

Yeah.

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The Pressure of the deadlines, leaning on them so hard made us get back into more consistent prayer, more consistent meditation, taking our vitamins again, going to bed earlier, getting more sleep. Pressure is actually giving us a better life back than when there wasn't. Pressure isn't that interesting?

It is.

Because the bottom line is this. Pressure is a real thing that's created out of circumstance, that moves you forward stronger than you would without it. So you've got to appreciate pressure. Stress is a manufactured BS fake thing that's created from your minds when pressure is present and it's going to hold you back. So stop interpreting pressure as stress. It's not. Stress is fake. It's manufactured by living in the future. Pressure is real and it's a blessing because it moves you forward, bigger, faster, stronger than without it pushing you from behind.

Yep. Use your tools.

I love it. All right, guys, so hopefully this helps you a little bit, helps you interpret. Am I experiencing stress or am I experiencing pressure? Pressure good, stress bad. And like Lori said when she kicked this thing off, if there is one couple out there listening to us and they're like, oh, I need to relieve some pressure because I am killing it. But that's a lot of pressure. Lock arms with us this year. Join us. Grab that last spot. Let me tell you, the couples joining amazing, like, massively high performance couples doing really big things. You're going to be excited to be a part of what they're doing. You're going to be excited to be a part of the other celebrity type couples that we are bringing in to learn from. It's going to be the greatest experience, the greatest container ever created in your life. And here's the best part. It's designed to put your relationship first, knowing that you're going to grow your business regardless. Where people go wrong is they put business goals first and they forget that the relationship is going to fall to the wayside. We're switching the order this year. We're switching the order. Relationship first. Business goals as a side adjacent that will grow equally. Anyhow, text me the word couples to 310-421-0416.

And I think we didn't even tell them that. It's going to be like luxury trips and travel.

No, it's going to be like the Bachelor. Have you ever watched the Bachelor and be like, well, of course they fell in love. I mean, they're in paradise.

That's the plan.

That's how we roll. And so we're literally rewarding ourselves and the few other couples with these Three different four day dates and it's going to be like being on the Bachelor.

I can't wait. I can't wait to be on the Bachelor with you and these other people, too. All right, you guys, until next time, we are so grateful for you. Make sure that you text if that freaked you out a little bit because you're like, oh, that might be me, but oh my God, that's like so like going to the next level. Text anyway. Do it for you. Do it for yourself because it will be the most expansive experience of your life and you know you want it, you know you're ready for it. You're just freaked out. But text next anyway. Okay, so until next time. We will talk to you next week.

Thanks for listening. We appreciate you.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear.

More of.

It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye. Bye. Don't.