617. Level Up, Girl!

So on this podcast, I talk a lot about mental health and it's because it is top priority. It's not a luxury, it is a necessity. And guess what? Taking care of yourself doesn't have to break the bank. Investing in your mental health has long term benefits. And with Talkspace, it can actually be affordable. Change is constant, but in this new version of normal, it feels like there's always something to grapple with every single day. So Talkspace online therapy. You can actually connect with a licensed therapist for a fraction of the price of in person therapy. So you get matched with your perfect therapist from the comfort of your own device and you can reach out 247 whenever something is on your mind. And we know that's the most important time to connect with somebody. So talk space costs about the same amount as a single in person session for the entire month. You guys. It's affordable. It's a fraction of the cost of in person therapy. Instead of waiting for an appointment, you can send unlimited messages to your therapist 24 hours and they'll engage five days a week. The bottom line is we all need someone to talk to and Talkspace wants to give us the support we deserve at a price we can afford. So as listeners of this product, you can get a hundred dollars off your first month on Talkspace. To match with your perfect therapist, go to talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code Lori, that's L O R I in all caps to get $100 off your first month and show your support to the show. That's Lori. @talkspace.com. We know what happens when we hide our depression and anxiety and don't talk about it. It gets worse. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the podcast. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in. Inspiration and so grateful for you guys. I am obsessed with seeing everybody who listens to this podcast. So keep sharing. Keep sharing and uploading your stories. Let me know what your biggest takeaways are. There's nothing worse than sitting in a room by yourself wondering who in the heck I'm talking to. So it's really cool when I actually get to, like, see your faces and interact with you on stories and Instagram, So let me know who you are and where you're listening from. It's so much fun. Am I in your car? Am I on a walk? Are you cleaning your house? What are you doing? So I have a gift for you guys that we want to give you because the holidays are coming and we want to make sure we give you this gift early. We have decided, we being Chris and myself, who is my husband, we've decided to put all of our E courses together for you early this year because we know this has been a challenge and we know that you're probably facing some headwinds next year. We wanted to put together all of our courses, which are the Money Principles, Aligned and the Bliss Habit. We're going to give you an awesome price on this holiday bundle and we want to make sure it gets to you now if you want to start setting yourself up for an epic next year. So you're going to text the word bundle B U N D L E to the number 310-496-8363. That's the word bundle to 310-496-8363. And we're only offering this for one week this week. So you guys need to text this number right now and we will let you know and send you the link of what that very special holiday bundle is. Let me tell you exactly what these courses are. The Money Principles is all about rewiring your money mindset. It talks about how money works. It talks about how you're going to learn how to break through your limiting beliefs around money. And then Aligned is all about aligning your life and getting clear on exactly what is right for you in your life. We do talk about money in there. We talk about finances, we talk about relationships, setting up your tribe, really moving forward in your life in all of these places. It's every single bucket of your life that you're going to go through, which is going to be huge for you when you're setting up your next year. And then you have a bonus of the Bliss Habit, which is a course that I did years ago, which is 12 modules, all based on how to really find your bliss and create a satisfying life. You guys text the word bundle B U N D L E 2310-496-8363. And you can only get that this week. All right, so I want to talk to you about a book I've been reading. I don't know if you saw me post it on social media, but it's one of my favorite books of all times. It is called the Big Leap, and it's by Gay Hendricks. This is my third time reading it. It's all about taking your life to the next level and conquering your hidden fear. So often we can go to the next levels, and all of a sudden there's a new devil there. And it's really not new. It's actually your old devil dressed in something fancier. So I talk a lot about this lately because I'm definitely facing a very new level. And I really think that I'm moving into what the author, Gay Hendricks, calls the zone of genius. And I want to talk about that because we have all of these different zones. And I'm actually going to read from this book. So these are not my quotes. I want you to go and get this book. I'm going to read a little bit about what each of these are. This book goes in heavy, heavy detail to really helping you bust your fears. And I am telling you, it's one of the best books I have ever read in my entire life. And I think, because I am at this new place of really looking at the largest level I've. I've attempted, and I'm going to take the leap, too, that it's hitting me on a whole new level. And I know that no matter where you are, no matter what zone of whatever zone that you're in, it's going to be so, so helpful for you. So I want to talk about this, because there's a bunch of different zones that we spend time in, and it shows up in different ways in our life. So Gay Hendrix talks about the zone of incompetence, and here's what he says. So I'm reading from his book right now. The zone of incompetence is made up of all activities we're not good at. Others can do them a lot better than we can. Surprisingly, many successful people persist in wasting time and energy doing things for which they have no talent. When you focus awareness on yourself by using the tools in this book, you'll be surprised at how much time you actually spend in this zone. So I can think back to a time in my life. I know where I have been in the zone of incompetence. And I just spent so much time trying to set up websites, trying to do tech, tech things, trying to edit a bunch of things that I was not good at. And this took so much time. So something that would take somebody else an hour for me, trying to figure out maybe paying them or bartering or something like that. I was taking days and days, if not months, in order to do all of these different things, when I should have been thinking of a different way of how can I get somebody else to do this? It doesn't mean that you can always do it in the beginning, because maybe you don't have money, but could you trade something? Or could you start off one thing that's taking up most of your time? And even if it's a little out of your budget, are you able to give some money to maybe an assistant or somebody to help you? Do you have a friend who you could take out to dinner? Do you have someone that could actually do a few of these things for you? You have to start thinking differently and you have to start asking for help or you will forever be stuck in your zone of incompetence. And I'm going to talk a little bit about why it's not good to be stuck in his own in just a little bit from what the author says as well. So let's move forward. And he talks about the zone of competence. So I'm reading from the book again. You're competent at the activities in the zone of competence, but others can do them just as well. Successful people often discover that they expend far too much time and energy in this zone. So this is a place that I easily can go into. So for me, right now, I'm noticing that I'm doing a lot of my scheduling. I'm doing things that I could very well be giving to someone or to my assistant, or very small things that I notice. I'm like, oh, I'll just. I'll just do it because it won't take me that long. And then I notice that my energy is depleted for the really big things that I need to be doing. Sometimes we do these things in the zone of competence because it's uncomfortable to be outside of this zone doing the challenging things. And sometimes doing things in the zone of competence actually gives us a hit of dopamine because we're able to do it, and we're typically able to do it really well. So I want you to look at all of the places that you keep going back to your zone of competence to give yourself that dopamine hit because going into your next level feels hard, or you say you don't know what to do and you're using blaming, or you're using justification of saying you don't know what's next in order to continue to go back to those things that you're good at. You guys, I've done this in my career so many times that just because you can do something, just because you're good at it doesn't mean that you should. I did this a lot with competing in fitness. You know, for years, it was like, okay, well, you know what? I. I'm not feeling very good about taking that big leap in my business. But you know what I could do? I bet you I could go. And. And because I've taken so many years of practice and doing well in fitness competitions, finally, after years and years, I could go back to that. And I bet that I could make myself feel good and do well in it and be seen and get accolades where those are things that I had one year where I was like, you know what? I can't do it anymore because it's just, number one, not exciting me. And number two, I know that I'm going to the next level and I'm avoiding it. And I'm avoiding it by trying to go back to these things where I get that quick dopamine hit and people tell me that I'm good at something or I get attention. Where is this in your life that you're doing this over and over, but it's actually not fulfilling this new desire or need or this place that you're aware of inside of you that you can go to. So let's talk about the zone of excellence, because I spent a lot of time here as well. I'm going to read from the book again. It says, in the zone of excellence are the activities you do extremely well. You make a good living in your zone of excellence. For successful people, this zone is seductive and even a dangerous trap. So I want to talk about this because before Light Pink, when I started the company Light Pink, I was in my zone of excellence. I was writing books, I was speaking on stages, I was getting booked, I was doing this podcast. I was talking to amazing guests. I was moving up in my career. I was making good money, do it, doing it, helping entrepreneurs, all of these things that were fulfilling me and I loved and I was really good at. And like this book says, you can make a really good career out of it. And. But there was something more, and it was eating at me. And I really, really needed to start figuring out what that was, because this was showing up in different ways for me. I want to talk about in the book. Let's go back to the book. When he talks about how this can show up for people. He says, by the age of 40, many of us have tuned out the call to genius, right? Because you're in your zone of excellence. So you've tuned out the call. And how you're probably feeling in your zone of excellence after a while is that things are getting loud. Repeated alarms hidden in the form of depression, illness, injuries, and relationship conflict are going off. These alarms are reminding us to spend more time feeding our natural genius and letting its magic out in the world. So, as you know, now the next level is the zone of genius. And if you're sitting in your zone of excellence for too long, that's how it can start showing up. For me, what happened is I was doing all of these things and loving it, but also I had been doing it for a while, and I'd been looking at my life saying, is this what I want to be doing for the rest of my life? And there were definitely parts that I want to continue doing. And as you guys can see, I'm still definitely doing, but there were parts that I was like, I don't know if I want to continue always being the face in these different ways and always having to, you know, write another book and isolate myself, because I was really into collaboration at the time and didn't want to have to go off for months and months to write another book, which, if I do, it will be in a completely different way, and I'll probably co author it with my husband, which we're talking about. And with that said, I was like, do I want to continue traveling and being away from my family and not spending this time at home and speaking on these different stages, which I know is very different now with COVID And I answered that question. I said, I don't want this same life in the next few years. I'm not feeling good. I'm feeling another call. I'm feeling something even bigger. And that scared me to death. You guys have no idea that I spent, like, I don't know, eight to 12 months in this place of, I don't know what's next. I think this was the end of my possibilities and my magic. I think my luck has run out.

Yes.

These are all the things that I said. I don't think I'm smarter than this. I think this was just, like, you start to Question. If this was all just luck around what you've been able to do and all of these different doubt thoughts come into your head, and they were all coming into mind like, oh, I don't think I'm smart enough to go to the next level. I think I've maximized my potential of where I can go because I just do not know what's next for me. And I was so tired in the morning. I was having trouble getting out of bed every single day for a year. I felt a little depressed. My anxiety was really kicking in. And also, I wasn't sharing this with friends because I felt so ashamed because I had such an amazing life and didn't know where this was coming from. So we know what happens when we hide our depression and anxiety and don't talk about it. It gets worse. So then I really started isolating myself because I didn't feel like I could share how I was actually feeling. And that didn't feel authentic. So I really started to pull back again from a lot of people, even social media and all of those things because I just wasn't talking about this. And it's funny because if I would have remembered to read this book, then it probably would have really helped me. But I'm finding it now. And you know what? I went through the pain of, you know, really looking inward and asking myself what it is that I want to be doing. If fear didn't exist, right? If. If I had all the money and all the time in the world and all the network in the world, what is it that I would be doing? Because I had to remove those blocks. So let's talk about the zone of genius. So, you know, most people think the zone of excellence is the top, but there's actually another zone that I. That if you're not about to get there, you will trust me. And I hope that you remember this conversation. So I'm gonna read from the book again where he talks about the zone of genius. Liberating and expressing your natural genius is your ultimate path to success and life satisfaction. Your zone of genius is the set of activities you are uniquely suited to do. They draw upon your special gifts and strengths. Your zone of genius beckons you with increasingly strong calls as you go through life. So then he talks about. I'm just going to read that again so you understand it. By age 40, many of us have tuned out the call to genius. And we are getting loud, repeated alarms hidden in the form of depression, illness, injuries, and relationship conflict.

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So this is going to take a lot of grace and a lot of self reflection to know where your zone of genius is. But it is that place where all time and all energy, just time disappears and all energy flows to you. You could do it for hours. You love it. It's not that you're not challenged, because you will be extremely challenged, but you will also find extreme satisfaction knowing that you are expressing your ultimate gifts freely to the world and using them in a way of either really high service or you're creating something really huge and also probably involving a lot of people in this vision as well. So you guys, I hope that this helped you. I hope that you go get this book again. It's the big Leap by Gay Hendricks. But uh, like I said, I'm reading it for the third time and it's changing my life once again. So I want to know if you got it. I don't have an Amazon link for you. I wish I could get paid for this, but. But I don't. So just go check it out on Amazon. And you guys, if you want to get that holiday bundle, it's going to be huge for helping you, especially the money principles and aligned for really helping you get into your next zone from wherever you're at. Because what it's going to do, just like this book, is help spot where you're being held back and your limiting beliefs and it's going to give you the step by step tools to be able to change your money mindset and change how you view your relationships and what you're capable of. So you guys text 310-496-8363 and make sure to text the word bundle. B U N D L E and the number is 310-496-8363. Okay, you guys, until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to i20 tunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.