62: The 3 Phases of Your Transformation with Zach Slobin

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Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and today I'm thrilled to have my guest on Zach Slobin. And I think there's no better place to start than to say that he is madly in love with his wife Eden and that he is a good friend to my husband Chris and I. And he's an entrepreneur who is so committed to excellence and he created financial freedom at just 34 years of age. He is a master speaker, I'm telling you, master speaker, trainer and coach. Zach's greatest thrill in life is showing people how to go from where they are to where they deserve to be by removing the lies they tell themselves so they can be, do and have anything that they desire. So in our amazing conversation that I cannot wait for you to listen to, we chatted all about how he was the athlete who almost went pro but severe injuries kept him from his dream. How he was the top guy who walked away from the good corporate job and the money because it was suffocating. And he's the man who wouldn't settle until he found his soulmate. So he also has an incredible offer for you guys. I'm telling you right now, you need to go to ZachSlobin.com z a c h s l o b I n dot com because he is giving you a complimentary three part video series on how to challenge the norm and never settle. I'm telling you, you guys are going to want to tap into his brain and you'll hear that very soon because he is brilliant and make sure that you follow him or as he loves to say, walk beside him, which I think is so amazing. @facebook.com ZachSlobin so you guys, without further ado, meet my friend Zach. I'm so incredibly excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

I don't know that thank you for having me is enough. You and Chris are people I consider to be friends, mentors, role models in so many different capacities. And so it's more than humbling to be here. So thank you for having me.

Oh, my goodness. Thank you for that. And I will gladly take a dinner out or some wine or anything that you guys want to do and meet us out for dinner, because that's my favorite.

We're up for it. You know us. We're always down for a good meal and a good meal and friends and drinks and stuff.

That's the thing with Zach, you guys, is that we literally just have the best couples conversation. So they're those people that you have in your life that you get together, and you just thoroughly enjoy the conversation as much as the food, if not way more. So, Zach, I met you through our network marketing company, and I knew immediately I basically got to hear you speak right away, And I was so drawn to your story and how you speak to people and what you've been through. So for everyone who doesn't know who you are, I would love if you would just tell us a little bit about what you do and also how you got to that place.

I know, I know, right?

How much time do you need?

Where would you like me to start?

I know exactly.

I'll start kind of further back than I normally would, only because I think it'll roll into the context of what we might end up talking about. I love it. Mm. I think it really starts when I was about 8 years old and. Or 7 years old. Excuse me. And it was that day in class when the teacher said, what do you want to be when you grow up? And all the other kids were like, I want to be a doctor. I want to be an astronaut. I want to be a lawyer. And the teacher came to me and said, well, what about you, Zach? I said, well, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I just know I want to do a lot of things at one time. I was just born to be an entrepreneur, and I always thought differently. I mean, I was the kid. Lori, where did you do candy bar sales for school, like, for charity?

I didn't, but I know what they are. Yeah.

So, like, you did, there was, like, charity things, right, for our school, and so we're supposed to sell candy bars. So to give you an idea, the candy bars were supposed to cost a dollar. Well, I would mark them up for $2 for the charity, and a dollar would go to my bank account. So I just always thought outside the box. And when I was about nine years old, my best friend. My best friend was diagnosed with and passed on from leukemia. And the reason that's a really important part of my story is because it was the first time where I started to really question the way things worked in the world and the way things were being taught to me and the way I was being raised from a spiritual perspective, from a religious perspective, from a right and wrong perspective. I just didn't really get that what I was being told was absolute truth. And so at 9 years old, I really started asking questions and kind of rebelling, if you will, against the status quo. I always could sense that there were greater truths than what I was being offered. And so as I got older, that part of me kind of started to harden, if you will. It started to look for evidence that I was not that I was right, but that other people were wrong. So by the time I was in high school, I was very clear that people were wearing masks and that they weren't really being authentic, if you will. And I also knew that I was going to make a choice in that moment. I'll never forget the day I was 17 years old, sitting on a bench at lunch, and I just made the decision that I'm always just going to be brutally honest and just be really, really, really real. And that doesn't go over so well in high school, and it doesn't go over so well with parents and siblings and things like that either. Right, because we're supposed to kind of fit into this mold of what a good little boy, you know, acts like and whatnot. But I. But I was okay with that. And I went along to college. I went to UC Santa Barbara, and I studied philosophy, and I went to school because I had been an athlete my whole life. And I got hurt in college my freshman year. And so I thought I was supposed to be a professional athlete. And then one day I woke up hurt, and I was told, you can never play soccer again. And this was existential crisis number two, because I looked around and said, okay, well, if I'm not an athlete, then who am I? If I'm not an athlete, then who am I? And I really struggled with that for years. So as I'm studying philosophy and I'm studying metaphysics and logic and morals and ethics and Plato and Socrates and all these different brilliant minds, all these guys are asking me to ask more questions. And so I did. But all those questions led me down a dark hole, more so than they did down a bright hole. And so eventually I graduated from college and it was time to get a job. You know, my parents weren't too keen on the idea of me living with them after college, nor was I too keen on the idea of living with them. And so I went into corporate America just like anybody kind of would, you know, because they're told to. And I'll never forget, I was working for a professional soccer team, living in Los Angeles. And I remember Lori looking around one day at all of my co workers, and they were just staring at their computers. They were just staring at the computers with these blank stares on their face. And in that moment, I was like, there's got to be something more to life. There's got to be more than this. I'm absolutely not okay with being just a drone, if you will. So I called my mom that day and I said, I'm done with this. I'm moving to San Francisco. See, I'd met a girl at a Halloween party, and thank you to some alcohol and some other recreational activities. In a single night, I managed to fall in love. How else do you fall in love? Right?

Exactly.

I'm totally okay with admitting that I did inhale. You know, I'm okay with it. So I moved to San Francisco, and I thought I was in love. And I started a business. And at 23 years old, I was working out of this high rise, and I had a business partner who was this very successful mortgage broker. And we were working in the insurance space, and our deal was that we would. Is that I would get 10% of anything that came my way, any contract that I brought in. So after about 10 months of helping her develop this company, I wrote all the website copy, I did all these luncheons and presentations and things like that. She calls me in her office two days before Christmas that year, I'll never forget. She says, hey, I just wanted to write you a little advance before the holidays. And I go, great. And she starts to fill out this check and goes, 2,00. And she stops at 200 and she goes, thanks, kid. You're out. Now, the gut punch was that I had just brought in a $2 million contract. So that was one of my first big lessons as an entrepreneur. Well, when I went home that day, my ex. And I'll get to that here in a moment, my ex said, you need to get a regular job. Who do you think you are? You need to stop living in fantasy land. And I was like, yeah, she's probably right. So I went out and I got a job, and I met a gentleman who introduced me to the network marketing space, which I wanted nothing to do with, quite frankly, because I watched my dad make a fool of himself in network marketing.

I hear you.

Yeah, right. But I fell in love with the profession. So I actually got into a network marketing company and I thought I was on top of the world again. Until six months later, the whole thing crashed. Whole thing crashed. Our CEO took off with the money. Now with my tail between my legs, my ex once again is saying, no more. Enough's enough. You got to get a job. Like, okay, you're right. Let me squeeze back into the box.

Pain.

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But while I'm looking for jobs, I come across another opportunity. And that was the opportunity that would change my life. It was a real estate investment company, and it cost $20,000 to be a part of. And at the time, I had about $300 in my bank account. So 20 grand might as well have been 20 million. But the two people who'd introduced me to the company, who are just incredible mentors and friends to this day, they just saw something in me that I'd never seen in myself. And I found a way to find the money. And in the space of 10 months, I'd go on to make about a quarter million dollars at 25 years old. Now, like any good 25 year old, what do I do? Aged. Without listening to my intuition, I move into a house that I that's bigger than we need and more than we can afford. And I get a Mercedes. And within about six months, I blow through $80,000 and the company crashes. And now my ex really starts in on me, like, my parents were right about you. And so two weeks after the save the date cards went out for our wedding, I looked at her dead in the eye and I said, I'd rather die than live the life that you or anyone else thinks I should be living. And so if you need to go, then you should go. And so she left, and I moved back into my mom's house. I was living on her couch at 27 years old without a penny to my name. I was so broke financially that I would scrape for change so I could afford to buy a pack of cigarettes because it was cheaper to buy cigarettes than it was to buy food. And if I could smoke a cigarette, I could suppress my appetite. And I had a friend who said to me something that forever changed my Life. Because, Laura, have you ever, have you ever been so overcome with self defeating thoughts that they, that they suffocate your ever. Your every breath?

Yes, right.

Like, have you ever been so paralyzed you want to move, but you're so overcome with sadness and guilt and shame that you just, you feel paralyzed? So that's where I was five years ago. And a buddy of mine said something to me that forever changed my life. He said, zach, you can either go through this or you can grow through this. Your choice. And I got it. And so little by little, day by day, one foot in front of the other, I started to affirm that something incredible must be waiting for me. Some incredible gift must be just around the corner somewhere. Something powerful must be finding its way to me in this moment. And after some wild travels and doing things and kind of rediscovering myself, if you will, literally living right around the corner from me was a woman who I went on a date with and who I never left. And that's Eden, my wife, who you've met.

She's amazing.

She was right around the corner. And today we run a really, really successful network marketing organization together. And in addition to that, I have my speaking and training and coaching business. I'm working on a couple books right now, which, you know, is terrifying. And your inspiration's been a big part of that about, of our success. And so, you know, there's a lot of little bullet points in between that, but that's kind of the, that's the synopsis, if you will.

Thank you so much for sharing that. And you know, I've gotten to hear you speak so many times that I know there's so many pieces to your story that that's why you need many books that have really, I think it's so important for people to know where people come from because it's so easy to look at you guys and be like, wow, they're the perfect couple and they have this great business and he's so polished and she's so great speaking and, you know, just all of these things looking from the outside. And I know your story. I know what you've been through. I know what Eden has been through. I know that even when you get to the place that you want, sometimes you go through even more just from a different standpoint. So I'm really grateful that you shared that. And also, hopefully people can get to know you a bit better as well. But today I want to chat about what we had been going back and forth on. And that's the Three phases of transformation. And honestly, something that I really look up to you for is your ability to. To teach and speak in such a clear, efficient manner. So I'm super excited, actually, to dive into this. So can we talk about that?

We could talk about whatever you want. I'm here to serve.

Let's do it. Okay, so the three phases of transformation, what is that? Where did this idea come from? Let's talk about it.

So where the idea came from is where all ideas come from, in my opinion. And that's something that is far greater than me or far greater than any of us. I believe all of us are receptacles for something greater. I just do, you know? So where did the idea come from? The ether. But it really came from a place of reflection. It came from so many people asking me, how is it, Zach, that you're so grounded? How is it that you've had so much life experience and yet you stay so resilient? How is it that you have. That you've managed to maintain unwavering faith in spite of. In spite of so many of the challenges that you've experienced? You know, how is it you've been able to do that? And so I always do a lot of tinkering and toiling, if you will, with writing and thinking and whatnot. I guess that in a past life, maybe I was a philosopher. You know, I don't think it's coincidence that I became a philosophy major in college. And so I just started to consider, what really are these three phases of transformation? And where this spawned from was, I write a lot of memes, I write a lot of little quotes, because something pops in my head, and I just want to write it down. And I wrote down something a couple months ago, and what I wrote down was, the first step in transformation is acknowledging the ways in which you've contributed to where you are right now.

Oh, I love that. Say that again.

The first step to transformation is acknowledging the ways in which you've contributed to where you are right now.

Okay, I love it, but that's hard.

No one ever accused me of being soft.

Okay, you guys, it's gonna work if you do it, so follow along.

Okay, let me give a disclaimer then. Right? Because it is hard and it is my style, and my style is laser focused, because I really just believe that if we're willing to cut through things with a rational conversation and a rational perception, that transformation doesn't have to take months, weeks, or years. And at the same time, no matter what, it will take Months, weeks or years. But we can make the decision to transform with the snap of a finger. Mm. I totally agree. I'm always willing to care enough about people, Lori, just to be straight, honest with them. Right. Like, I care enough about you to be honest with you and to give it to you with the brutal truth. Because Oscar Wilde has a quote that I love. He says, a true friend stabs you in the front. Oh.

Oh, man, that's good. I just got full body chills.

Right? A true friend stabs you in the front. And so if we're gonna be friends, and if you're listening to this or friends, you're opting in.

Yeah, I'm cringing and I'm excited at the same time. It's normal, right?

It's like, let's just. Let's just look at it. I know. Here we go. Right? Here's the thing. If somebody hadn't cared enough about me to be honest with me, my. My life wouldn't be where it is, you know, I wouldn't have gone from being dead broke to being 34, financially free, and literally, literally living my purpose and my passion with such ease, you know, that. That it's remarkable to me most days.

You know, I love this because it's. It's the process you put yourself through, too. So in order. We were talking to even come up with this, right? You said you give yourself. You know, you put yourself on these times where you're just gonna write and you're really gonna reflect and you're gonna look at it. And I think a lot of people don't even give themselves the time, the grace, the space or anything to sit down and look because we're too busy being scared of sitting down and looking or numbing out on something. So if that's where we're currently at. Because I wanna talk about two different types of people. I wanna talk about the ones who aren't even ready to look yet and the people who've been scanning. Right. For a long time and they have big goals and they're doing big things in the world. The first one, I'm not even ready to look yet, but I have a desire.

So if you're not ready to look yet, then. And you have a desire, then I want you to imagine for a second that you just woke up and you woke up, and the surroundings are familiar. You recognize and realize that you're in your house, you're in your home, but what you notice is that the floors are filthy, there are cobwebs in every Single corner. There's mud on the window, dirt on the window so thick that you can't even see outside. And it comes into your awareness that, wait a minute, this is my home, but this is not what I had dreamt up when I was a little boy or a little girl. Something about this isn't right. And what you notice is that you hear something moving around in the corner, and so you reach around and you find a flashlight. And when you turn on the flashlight, what you see scattering out of the light from the darkness are cockroaches. And that's what step one is. Step one is being willing to shine a light of awareness onto the cockroaches in our heads so that they scatter because darkness cannot live in the light. So that's all step one is, Lori. All step one is, is we're taking a flashlight and we're shining a light of awareness on the reality of the results that we've chosen into in our lives.

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Okay, so that is. And I love that. And that is to so many people like they turn the light on, and then it's complete overwhelm. So how do we allow ourselves to feel what's gonna come up? Or how do we stay in that place long enough to get to the next phase?

So one way is to just take a step back and acknowledge. And this is where. This is kind of where part two of the art comes in, right? So step one is acknowledge, and step two is reframe. So how can I. How can I now look at this home that doesn't feel like mine? How can I. How can I look at this from an objective perspective? Am I willing to remove myself from the situation? Because if I was the person that contributed to my being here, then I'm also the person that can contribute to my not being here.

Okay.

See, there's contrast in everything, right? So if I can objectively look at the reality that. Oh, wait a minute. If I can create one situation for myself, then I can create another situation for myself.

So all of the things that come up in our heads, though, you know exactly. You know what it is, because you've lived in this space for a long time. So we're noticing that. Yes. Oh, my goodness. I'm going to start taking some responsibility for how I've contributed, and then step two saying, okay, since I've contributed, I can also change this. But then again, this. Those same voices that got us into the messy house are the ones that are going to try to attack. So what are some of the different things that you do or say or get ready for or plan with in order to combat all of the mindset that's going to come around it?

So that's step two. So let's work on R. Right? So that's reframing. So let me. So. So let me look back and just ask myself, you know, let me just ask myself, not why did I end up in this situation? Not how did I end up in this situation, but what is this situation really all about? What is this situation a reflection of? Is it a reflection of how I was conditioned? Is it a reflection of how I feel about myself? Is it a reflection of my worthiness? Is it a reflection of a story that I bought into when I was a little boy or a little girl? And if so, can I reframe. Can I reframe the person that I'm blaming for getting into this situation? Because what a lot of people will do, Lori, is they'll turn on the lights. They'll see that there's cobwebs, everything, everywhere. They won't like what they're looking at, and then they go into beat up mode, right? You're a piece of crap. How could you let this happen? What would your mother think of you? What would your father say? Right? And we go up into beat up mode. And that's natural. That's totally natural. And so what I want to invite you guys to do, though, is this. Instead of taking out a Louisville Slugger, if you're gonna beat yourself up, choose cotton candy. Choose cotton candy. Because think about it. If you hit yourself over the side of the head with a baseball bat, you're gonna knock yourself out. If you use cotton candy, it's nice and fluffy and soft, and guess what it's gonna leave. It's gonna leave a sticky little sweet residue so that when you just lick a little bit off the side of your face, you get reminded of how sweet some of the most challenging times can be.

I love that.

So give yourself grace in the acknowledgment. Give yourself compassion in the acknowledgment, because is it possible. Is it possible that all you were doing was finding evidence to support a story that wasn't true? And that's the reframe.

I'm putting myself in this situation as far as I'm, like, scanning my life right now for my dirty house, and I'm like, okay, this is definitely resistance around writing for me. So for me, I'm putting myself into the three phases right along with you. So I'm just gonna share so that everyone can follow along and put themselves in it. So for me, it's just the resistance around sitting down and writing. And it's. You know, I'm acknowledging that I have this resistance, and then I look at why I think I have it or the things that I was blaming without even realizing, like, oh, it's because, you know, I was homeschooled through high school, and college was never anything that anybody put any pressure on me about or important. So I never really got to learn how to study or learn how to. And how effective could I be if I actually would have learned that? And I'm like, okay, hold on here, sister. You've had so many opportunities to do these things, and you have the choice to just sit down and do it now and learn it now. So that's also my reframe, and I was beating myself up with cotton candy the other day, so I love that. So thank you. Okay, so let's move into next steps of. I think we're still in reframing, right?

Yep. And what you just said is so powerful, right? Because what you just, what you just acknowledged and shared with your audience, which is so. Which I love about you is you're always willing just to just put it out there for everybody so we can all learn together, right? And it's just like that. It's just an ultimate symptom of sabotage, right? It's an ultimate symptom of sabotage, right? Procrastination over committing sacrifice, things like that, right? And so like, then it's like, okay, so why am I sabotaging? Right? And typically speaking, what I found is we sabotage for two reasons. One is that we don't believe we are worthy of what's on the end result. We don't believe we're worthy of receiving what's on the end result of what we're creating. Or two, and this is more of like a biological, physiological thing is we've been tribal herd based beings for hundreds of thousands of years. And if I venture out, I will disrupt the herd. And what does that mean? Is that a safe place? And so we come up with all these different ways of sabotaging, right? And then it's paralysis.

I've got many good, amazing ways to sabotage that actually look good to everyone else too. So I'm aware of that. I'm like, oh, I know how to be really busy doing productive things that look good to other people. Even though I know, I mean, I can watch myself go. You're making this decision that is literally pushing away your goal. We're smart, we become smart.

Our egos are really, really good at tricking us. Our egos are very, very special. Very special. And so, yeah, so we reframe it, right? We look back on it and we reframe it and we just acknowledge it. We acknowledge it with compassion. And so if we're gonna. And let's. Instead of the home metaphor, let's use another analogy and metaphor, and that's. This is. Laurie, have you ever watched two people play chess or play checkers?

Yep.

Right. So when you're watching two people play chess, it's so obvious. What move somebody should make is brutally obvious. It's like, why don't you just, you know, move your. Move your bishop there, right? But if the board was the exact same and you sat down as one of the players, chances are you wouldn't see that move. So true transformation can only come if we're willing to remove ourselves from the game and observe the situation objectively and rationally. That's the only way.

How does one do that?

By recognizing that if I can observe my thoughts, then I am not my thoughts.

I love that that's actually been something that's just. Over the past week, I've had so many awesome opportunities to do that. It's crazy how you can be like, wow, okay, I was just calm one second ago. And why is this? I've just been asking myself why a lot and stepping back and hearing what my brain wants to tell me, like, why am I feeling this way in this sit. Why can you not be able to be yourself in this situation? Why can't you find the peace within this certain situation? And it's just insane what happens when you can actually do that. You actually do get a place to begin to choose again. That's amazing. So if you can't, if this is something totally new to someone, is there something they can do? Like, how do we give her? If, you know, if you were talking to me five, six years ago, I'd be like, that's great and everything, but my brain is so chaotic right now. I can see that, but I don't actually understand what would these specific things I could do to step back, like, do they need time somewhere? Do they need to give themselves space?

Yeah. I think that a big part of it is building the muscle of intuition and building the muscle of serving our highest value. And so a really great exercise that I still do that's very effective when I coach privately. I coach this quite a bit is to build the muscle of being intentional, to serve our highest value. And so what is our highest value? Well, in my experience, our highest value is joy. Our highest value is bliss. Our highest value is happiness. Right. These are our highest values. These are what our soul yearns for. Right. When we separate the soul from the ego, the soul sits in a place of complete joy, complete purpose, complete happiness. Right. Complete fulfillment. It's only when our ego gets in the way that we have this battle of whys and why nots and how comes and how can't I? Right. Or why can't I? So a great exercise. A great exercise is recognizing that we really live in four realms. We live in four realms. We live in the physical realm, the emotional realm, the intellectual realm, and the spiritual realm. We live in four realms. And so what I do is I wake up in the morning and I ask myself the question, how do I want to feel today? How do I want to feel today? And I listen very quietly. Well, let's just say I want to feel joy. I want to feel joy. So then what I'll do just to build the muscle is I'll say, okay, what can I do today physically to feel joy? What can I do today emotionally, to feel joy? What can I do today intellectually to feel joy? What can I do today spiritually to feel joy? And if I hit on all four categories, no matter what else happens during my day, no matter if my dog gets in a fight at the dog park or gets sick, or if Eden and I have a tussle or whatever it is, if I can just build the muscle of hitting those four areas, then I'm building the muscle of serving my highest value. And if I can build the muscle of serving my highest value, then, then and only then, when I start to make choices that are out of alignment with my highest value, like beating myself up, like sabotage, like self defeating thoughts, the soul muscle comes in and says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not who you really are.

Oh, that is beautiful. If that's one thing you did every single day, your life would drastically change. And then, yes, you would have that space to go into the next step. But I want to make sure we cover everything in reframe before we move into your final step as well.

Sure. And so there's one more big piece of reframing, and that's this idea of compassion and forgiveness.

Yes.

Are you willing to forgive the people that you might be blaming who helped you move into that house? Are you willing to forgive yourself who moved yourself into that house? Are you willing to stop playing the victim and blaming things outside of you, but in a compassionate way? But most importantly, are you willing to take your power back at a soul level? And with that, I want to pay forward another skill, Laurie, another actionable item that would. When a coach of mine passed this on to me years ago, it was dramatic. And it sounds like this. It sounds like this. It sounds like I first name, last name. So I'll use me personally. I, Zack Slobin, at a soul level, take back all of my power from. Let's just say it's my dad, right? I'll just use as an example from Richard Sloban. With luck, then I, Zack Slobin, give back any power I have taken from Richard Sloben with love. And if you say this mantra for five or ten minutes before you go to bed each night, you'll sleep more soundly, you'll wake up more peacefully. Now, the person that you're forgiving never has to hear this, but it's the relationship and the reframing that you're creating with yourself. With that person that does the true healing. And that's what reframing really allows us to do.

And trust me, eventually they hear it, just not at a verbal level. They absolutely hear it. That is so powerful. You guys write that down. But I'll also put that in the show notes, because that. That is the piece for sure, where you can start moving forward into.

What is it into? Create. The third step is created. Okay. Create. Right. So I acknowledge. I reframe, and now I can create. And I can create from a space that might be a little bit scary, that might look completely foreign, but I can create into a space that's wide open with the knowledge that the story that got me into the home that I didn't love was a story that wasn't true. It was based on a person who I thought I was supposed to be, not who I truly am. And so now that I've reframed, and now that I'm learning to build the muscle of living from a place of my highest value, then there's only one place from which to create, and that's a place of my highest value.

Oh, I love that so much. The sentence that keep has been coming up for me this last month is.

To.

Act as the person that I want to be or want to be attracting. And I just keep asking myself if it's something that I was maybe upset with that I did. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna forgive that. But now what are the actions of the person that I want to attract and that I want to be? And I couldn't even answer what I wanted to be at first completely, until I said, well, who do I want in my life? Who do I want to attract? So that is, like. That is so huge for me. Thank you for that.

Yeah, that's awesome. I love that. There's a great video on YouTube by a guy named Jim Cathcart. It's like this old. He's like this old 1980s, early 90s sales trainer, and he asks the question, what would the future me do? Not the me as I am right now, but the me that I desire to become. What would the future me do right now?

Oh, man, they're busy and they're awesome.

Or they're chilling out, relaxing.

Yeah, that's true, too. Everybody's gonna be so different.

Yeah. So creating from this space is really powerful because now it's free game. Right now it's free game because we're creating a new story. See, so many people, they stand on the edge and they go, I Don't know if I'm really worthy of creating something new. I don't know if I'm really worthy of playing that much bigger. I don't know if I'm really worthy of writing that book. I didn't graduate high school. I didn't go to college. Right. One of your stories. Right. Things like that and all of this self acceptance stuff, all of this self doubt is because you bought a story based on a past decision that, quite frankly, you weren't even consciously aware of, that you made. And I'm a really big believer that people will never accept themselves if their definition of self was written by someone else.

So how do we go. I know that we talked about this, but what is it that we can do to rewrite it? Like rewrite that entire story for ourselves?

So that's happening in the rear frame, right? So it's that forgiveness component. Yes, it's that forgiveness component. And it's forgiving the part of ourselves that didn't have a clue, and it's forgiving the other people that were involved in it that didn't have a clue.

So then, Zach, do you go and actually put this down on paper and say, this is the new story?

Yeah, absolutely. It's about who am I? Right. So I have a contract. I literally have a contract. It's on a big poster board, right? And it says, I'm an inspiring, powerful, loving man. And by creating and by sharing my gifts, I create inspiration, wisdom, love and light. That is a contract that I wrote for myself eight years ago.

Oh, I love that. So when you answer the question, who am I? Obviously, if that was eight years ago, that's. You were probably thinking of your future self, right? So when people go to write this out, because I think this is a brilliant thing to do.

I love that you asked that. So my answer would be no.

Okay.

Because in every moment, that's when we talk about how do you learn to observe the soul? How do you learn to just observe those negative thoughts is not your own? It's that in every moment, I am inspiring, powerful, loving, and every moment, the people that are listening to this, you are a part of something that is pure love, pure joy, pure happiness, and whatever someone's spiritual beliefs are, I don't know. But what I found for me is that if I come from something greater, Lori, then I must be that something. So if I come from something, if I'm a part of something that is pure love, pure joy, pure passion, pure inspiration, pure wisdom, if I'm a part of that Then innately, that's who I am at all times. It's just that because I learn a certain story, I've forgotten. So it's not who my future self was. It's that when I was in a deep, deep meditation of visualization, where I came to this. Came to. And that's a deep process. That's like a couple days worth of work. It's not something we do on a podcast. When I came to that realization of that being my contract, that was a soul experience. That was a cellular experience. I was in this moment as I came into this world and as I leave this world, and in every moment in between, when I let go of my ego and when I trust that I have that I come from something greater, therefore, I must be something greater at all times. That's who I am.

Do you have that up in your room? Is that what you said?

I do. I have it on a big, giant. Post it.

And how often do you go back to it?

Well, I actually affirm it every day in my journal.

I love that. So you're starting with that thought, and you're rooting in, and it's probably at a cellular level for you for sure now. So what are some other things that you. You know, I really want to make sure that we circle back all the way around to this so that we cover everything on Create and that you give us a nice little summarization of this whole thing for people who are ready to implement this, because this was great stuff that I promise you, if you do this right now, your life will change. So let's circle back. So we're. We're on Create. Is there anything else on Create that you want to add?

Yeah, just. Just go. Just go. Stop thinking you're not ready. That's a big thing, right? Like, stop thinking you're not ready. So this is perfect context. Stop thinking you're not ready. Because here's the way I look at it. And depending on what your spiritual beliefs are, it's either the God. It's either God or the universe. And here's how I feel. I feel like there's never a moment in which God or the universe is not ready to act upon your desires. Therefore, there's never a moment in which you are not ready.

Oh, I love that. And it's pure truth. I love that. Okay, so let's wrap it all together. So let's do the arc.

Yeah. So, but real quick, just going back to Create. Like, create whatever you want to create. Do whatever you want to do. Like and for all you perfectionists out there, for real, like, just relax. We're all going to end up in the same place anyway. It's not that big a deal.

You couldn't have ended that any better because it is so true. And I was just actually on a. I was being interviewed on someone's podcast right before this, and we were talking about the decisions that we make and the things that we beat ourselves up for. And it's like, you know, whether it's food or business or whatever it is, and. And on our deathbed, you know, looking up at our. Our hospice person help helping us or nurse and saying, yeah, I was miserable, but look at my abs.

Right?

There's just so many things that. At the end of your life, what are you gonna say? It's like the unlived life, right? What is trapped inside of you that is dying to come out? Don't let that die with you. So, okay.

And that's what. Just real quick, like, that's. I say this all the time. I say, why live your life inside of a box when you're gonna end up inside of one anyway?

Oh, my gosh. Seriously. Those are the things that people need to hear that I need to hear. That just makes me go, you're right. It's not that big. It's just not that big a deal. It's just not. Just make yourself happy. And that's all that needs to happen. Because at the end of the day, everyone is just trying to make themselves happy.

And I would just invite a different. Like, I'm just really big on language. You know that, right?

Yes, I know you love language.

Like, okay, make myself happy or just allow myself to just be what I am. See, outside.

That's why I like it.

Because outside of all the negative thinking and outside of all the societal pressure and outside of who I think I'm supposed to be, intuitively, innately, I'm happy.

Yep.

And I've always been happy. And here's the thing. Look at. Look at a newborn.

Yes.

Look at a newborn. Show me a newborn that's not happy. Show me a. Show me a child that lacks creativity and imagination and wonder. Right? Like, can you show me to the. Can you show me the way to a stream, Lori, that overeats and poisons itself as a way to avoid.

I think of that all the time with babies because it's just. That's. Our natural state is just to be silly, to. To laugh, to be happy, to play, to be curious. Like, how curious, too. And we just stop being Curious, because that could be scary, you know?

But it's to wonder, right? Like, the word wonder is amazing. Like, look at the word Wonder. W O N 1. You win if you wonder. You win if you wonder. And if you're willing to wander.

See, I'm slaying the. You are slaying the words here, Zach. You need to go back and get, like, 25 memes out of this. You're like, I will. Okay, so just fill me in really quick before we end here on the arc. Then the acknowledge, Reframe, create. Let's summarize it all. Or walk me through it again real quick one more time, just for notes for everybody.

Sure. So step one is acknowledge. Be willing to shine a light of awareness. The moment that we're willing to accept responsibility for the ways in which we've contributed to our results is the moment. Is the moment that we can put ourselves in a position to truly move forward. And then step two is reframe. Step two is reframe. No matter how clear your vision is, no matter how big your goals are, no matter how many smart goals you write down, no matter what your goal setting system is, until you're willing to let go of who you think you're supposed to be, you will never be able to move forward as who you truly are. And then step three is create. And by create, I just mean create. Create whatever you want to create. And here's the reality you're. Here's the reality. Whether or not you create something is not up to you. What you create, however, most certainly is.

Why is it not up to you?

Because the world's gonna keep moving no matter what. You're gonna create something. If you don't take action, you're creating, not you're creating inaction. If you take action, you're gonna create something based on your action. You're going to create something. Ultimately, life is our choice.

So beautiful. So before we wrap up, I just want to make sure that you've covered everything in this. And I also want to thank you and acknowledge you. I'm not gonna reframe you. I'm gonna acknowledge you. Acknowledge you for being just such a bright light and a fierce warrior of truth, because you really are. And I learned something from you every time you open your mouth. And I know you put so much thought and time and love behind it because you truly want to be of the highest service possible. And I know you so well that you can't sleep if you don't wake up and pursue this every single day. So I just want to thank you for coming on the podcast and acknowledging you for all of that.

I'm like, I'm sitting here getting choked up hearing that from you. You know, I said at the beginning, and I'll say it again, you've been so powerful for me. You've been the one that's kind of kicked my butt into gear in certain things. So often where I think to myself, like, who would really get where I'm at right now that could really give me some real coaching? And it's been you in so many instances. So gratitude doesn't. Doesn't do it justice. It just doesn't do it justice. So thank you.

Thank you. And I always have an ending question, and I'm gonna use some opposite language. So you are in an elevator and someone looks over at you and you only have like a 30 second ride with this person who looks over at you, desperate, and says, zach, yes, they know your name and you don't know them. Zach, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

I say you choose to be happy. I say don't make yourself happy. Allow yourself to be happy and for a moment, just be willing to step outside and take a look at your life with, like, rational gratitude. Rational gratitude. And I don't mean like that you're grateful for, like, trees and lilies and flowers, even though those things are beautiful. But I mean rational gratitude, like the fact that we're riding in an elevator right now, that the debt that hangs over your head is something that somebody would trade places with you for in a minute if they'd had the opportunity to spend that money on the things you'd spent on, even if it wasn't a sound financial decision. The boss that you hate, there's somebody living in Africa right now that's completely destitute that would love to have a boss that would tell them what to do that they hated every day just so they could live like you live. So to. Just for a minute, just for a moment, just rationally take a step back and look at your life and just consider that your worst day, living in a first world country. You're listening to this podcast right now. Maybe you're listening on an iPhone, you're listening in the car that you're driving. That your worst day. Just consider for a moment that your worst day is somebody else's absolute dream day. Just consider that for a second. Use rational gratitude.

Amen. That was beautiful. And you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it. With somebody that you love. And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. And until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.