620. Q and A on Collaboration

You know, I found that the most liberating thing for me is to actually encourage people to try other people. And I think it opens up this vast palette of people. And it compliments you because when we try to be all things to people, we actually put ourselves on a pedestal and we. We will end up failing miserably because you'll never be that. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love Gian, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and earn unapologetically. Rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go, Evans. Welcome back to questionably awesome. This is your show and it's your time to shine.

Thank you so much for having me on your program today.

It's like npr. Welcome back to eh where we're going to discuss things that are boring.

Boring. But we have to talk like this. You have to do one of these voices.

That's right.

Very relaxed.

Sweater weather. Sweater, sweater, sweater. Sweater weather. Sweater weather.

Sweater weather.

I want to be on Saturday Night Live. Wouldn't that have been fun?

Yes.

Do you know what? I hate to say this because I really hate to start off with, like, a gray cloud, but we really missed our calling for being on a Saturday Night Live.

Really did. There's still time. If. If Lauren Michaels wants to call us, we're available.

Yeah, I think so, too. And as much as I love your Patagonia collar, it's rubbing on your microphone right now. Oh, there you go. Here. Thank you.

Let me do this.

Oh, striptease.

Hey, O. I'm naked now.

See, she's totally in the buff, but it's normal because, like, when you're a podcaster, you can't let anything rock you. You need to stay steady. I don't know.

When you're dedicated to your craft, you just do what you have to do.

You know, she's totally nude and she is going to talk about topics that are important. That's what we do on the show. If you can't already tell if you've been listening to the podcast, this one is a slight venture off into a left Field of sorts. It's perhaps a corn field with a corn palace at the end. That's the type of field that we're in. It's not serious. Sometimes it is, actually. I really feel like we give some serious life nuggets.

Yes. All the time.

They're golden and crispy, and they're dipped in honey. And they are life nuggets that will propel you forward and release fears, gas, multiple things. With that said, I do want to tell you that this comes with a warning that if you don't have a sense of humor, it is not your time to listen to this.

This is not your time.

Yeah. And if you have a good sense of humor, not your time to listen to this.

If you're in the middle, you can stay.

Yeah. This is a very different, different flavor for everybody. And you know what's so great, Evans, is when I found you and when I realized I could make you laugh and you made me laugh constantly, I was like, yep, those are the people you need in your life to remind you of who you are and, like, remind you of your authentic weirdness. How did weirdness get a bad rap? Like, I remember being called weird in middle school all of the time. Like, I was always called weirdo. I wish I would have known what a compliment that was because I was like, why am I so weird? Like, why is my purse, I think in. I think in weird jokes at all times. Like, even when I'm being serious or teaching something serious or showing up, like, very serious in life, there's always a joke that I am dying to tell in the back of my mind.

And I love those jokes.

Well, you do, because it's your flavor, you know? And everybody's got a different flavor. Have you ever been with someone who. People are like, they're so funny, and you're like, I'm not seeing it, because it's just a different flavor of humor for me. I really think that my humor was created right around the time that Dumb and Dumber came out. Like, that would probably be my humor. Some people do not like that humor at all.

Yeah, some people don't. And that's okay. They can watch something else.

Yeah, totally. And they can totally stay far away from me. Just kidding. I love all people. I love all humors, but you just find your own and you enjoy it a little bit more, and that's okay, too. Okay, so with that said, I want to know about what's been going on this past week in your life. How is. How is puppy life? How is she How's June?

June is amazing. She's lost like three teeth this week, which is very exciting.

Uh huh. That's so fun to find their puppy teeth around.

It's so weird. Adam wants to keep them and I'm like, why are we gonna keep these? That's gross.

Okay, serious question. Who's the sentimental one? Like, who will be the one when you guys have kids? If you guys have kids that will be like, oh, let's, you know, let's keep their locks of hair after it's cut. And you're like, hell no. Get rid of that weird crap.

I think, I think he will be more sentimental than I am.

Like, because I'm ready. Like a fake doll of your child.

Wait, can we talk about. My mom still has a little ring box. This is so gross. With baby teeth in them.

Oh my God. See, there's different kinds of people.

Why? I'm like, mom, why do you have these? That's disgusting. This is like, I don't know, she'll be in a museum or something to study. It's so gross. And she's like, well, I don't have the heart to throw them away. I'm like, just throw them away.

That's totally like, Chris is sentimental and it's so bad because I, I view the memory as the sentimental piece. I actually, I'm gonna tell you where this came from and I'd love to hear how you feel about it and love to hear what your take on this is because. Okay, so I have a theory that because like, I went through a bankruptcy with my family when I was younger and like, watched the pain that my mom went through of like, she was so attached to our home and things that she was in pain for years. And I remember her like, you know, always talking about it and kind of holding it against my dad. And I get it. Cause that was like her you know, home and things and all of this stuff that she felt like was torn away from her. And I think from that moment I literally remember thinking, like, I'm never gonna attach myself to things. Cause I don't wanna go through that pain. And from then on out, it's almost like if I get too attached to things and this can be, you know, kind of dangerous too. Cause it's like, okay to be sentimental, that I'll like, you know, I'll be like, nope, get rid of it. Nope, don't need it. I don't need to even keep that photo. Like, it's really, it's really bizarre. So I attach, you know, Memories. And I attach, like, sentiment to memories, and I try to, like, go down memory lane more often. But some people, like, Chris is very, very attached to things like he. Like his, you know, parents things or grandfather's things or things like that. And I do understand that. I get that, like, one or two, because, you know, there's, like, maybe a ring or something that my mom has that I feel really sentimental around. Yeah. So tell me your take. Tell me your take.

Yeah, I feel like I get in trouble with myself a lot because I'm one of those people like you, where if I just want to clean it out, like, we don't need this. We don't need this anymore. But I do keep letters. Those are the things. Like, I cannot throw a Christmas card away.

Why?

I just don't want to. They make me happy.

Yeah. You know what? I keep letters as well. But what I did that I regret. I don't have a lot of regrets, but I would have loved this. I used to write a lot, and I also, like, used to write letters to my girlfriends, and they would write me and to one of my first boyfriends, who is now unfortunately passed away. But I would have loved to have kept those first love letters to see what. What we all said and what that looked like. But what I did throughout my life was. And I. I get it. Like, we don't want to keep things like that. And you know what? I mean? Some of us do. Some of us don't. Like, once we, like, broke up, and we broke up, like, kind of in a miserable way. It's like, I just got rid of. I, like, burned everything. Literally burned it. Like, letters, pictures, all of those things. And now I'm like, you know, looking back, those are such big parts of your life that it's kind of like, oh, my God, I kind of burned eight years of my life like, that. He was one of the. The consistent memories in my life. And when you look at it, it's kind of like that was a really developmental phase of your life. So that is one thing that I wish I wouldn't have done. Like, sentimental around, because Chris is so, like, I don't care what he has from old girlfriends. His. His past girlfriends made him who he is. Like, and if he was, like, holding on to things and looking at him daily, that'd be real, real weird.

That would be a lot.

But if it's, like, a couple things in a box that were a part of. I would have loved to read his letters right now and kind of, like, make fun of him. That'd be so much fun. Like in looking back at how was like saying sweet things to whoever it was. Like, that would be great.

I agree. I think, like, wouldn't that be funny.

To see what Adam wrote?

Like, oh my gosh, yes.

Like, he probably was taking like turning the Polaroid on himself, the Polaroid camera and taking pictures of his short shorts, like, like a selfie. And 100% was and being like, hey, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you in my short shorts.

It was funny because when we were in Indiana for like, I know this is so off topic.

Yeah, we're really on a really good topic right now. So please don't, don't stray.

But when we were in Indiana, during the first part of quarantine, we would go on morning walks and his high school and college girlfriend lives in that area and we would run into her like every morning. And I wish I could, I should just like interview her and be like, so what was it like? What, what are his memories? I want to know. Oh, hi Adam.

We're just talking about you.

Speak of the devil.

He can't hear me, so that's good. Hey, I just came in the room dancing. It's like that is the best. We just, it's just the best.

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Yeah. So married life is going well.

It's looking like married life is going well. One day at a time, Lori. One day at a time.

Yeah, you know, I saw the best quote. It was like, just take it one. Oh my effing God. Are you kidding me? At a time. I was like, I've had those days, you know, and you just gotta take it one of those at a time. So. Evans, do you have a quote?

Oh, yeah.

Because I think that's what we do. I don't really know.

Yes, we do quotes. And I found one from Oprah and I don't know why I picked this. This is whatever it says, turn your wounds into wisdom.

Oh, I love that. I love that. Because that's the only thing that we can do.

Yeah, right.

There's always, like, two choices. You can let it disempower you, or you can let it make you stronger.

Amen.

Yeah. Make that wound into a nice, hard scar tissue, you know?

Exactly.

Nothing's good. You really don't, like, hurt that scar tissue twice.

Oh, good point.

Yeah, I don't know if that's a good point, Evans, but thanks for the vote of confidence. Okay, my quote is from the book that I'm reading, the Big Leap. Still reading it. Love it. I feel like I'm selling so many books for this human right now. Okay. It's by Gay Hendricks, and his quote is, there's so many here. Which one do I want to read? Okay, yeah, yeah. Here it is. In my life, I've discovered that if I cling to the notion that something's not possible, I'm arguing in favor of my limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them. What are you arguing? Do you know what? I'm going to turn this into an Evan's moment, and I'm going to. Then I'm going to turn it into a me moment. Take this moment to shine. Evans. What is a limitation that you're arguing to keep?

Oh, gosh, I have so many. I love to keep myself down.

It's my favorite day of the week. It's my favorite morning of the week. I mean, I love my husband, but he can't get me going like this, so.

It'S the least I can do. What are my limitations?

Ooh.

I get really limited in thinking about career, work, life. Like, oh, I have to do this. I have to have this type of.

Job and be just like.

Like, just working on typing.

You know, you need to be typing more evidence.

Type more. But you know that, like, I have this weird thing where I'm like, oh, I have to. I have to be working these hours of every single day.

Interesting.

And it's not like, oh, you know, sometimes you can just get your work done in two hours. It's okay if you can do that.

That's so interesting. So what's the limitation that you're trying to keep?

I think it's. Sorry, if you hear June drinking water in the background.

I don't.

I think it's that you maybe not allowing myself to be free to try other things.

Oh, snap. Oh, yeah. That's pretty deep. And you realize that you're doing it. Yep.

I know completely that I'm doing it.

Yeah. You're like, I need to type more so that I don't have to think about the fact that I'm not creating my paper company and doing all of the creative things that I'm meant to. Yep. That's a tough argument to be in with yourself every day. So there's gotta be like an inner fight on the daily. Yes.

Yes. I don't know. Why. Why do we do these things to ourselves?

I mean, I do it all the time. Like right now there's a couple emails that I want to be sending and I'm just like, oh, I'm gonna go do something else, like clean out the rest of my inbox. That's not important right now. Instead of sending this huge needle moving email that could be sent. Because I'm afraid of getting rejected.

Yes.

I'm afraid of looking like I'm. I'm asking too much or, or think that I'm too much or bugging someone or, oh, here's what it is. I'm afraid this person will think that I've only been in this relationship because I want. I wanted this outcome to happen. And that is not the case at all. But also, aren't we intentional with our relationships? And isn't the thing, the outcome that you want to happen a good thing for everyone?

Yes.

Like, you're doing it because you see how it could benefit everyone and everything. So I just think that we think too much.

I think so too. And I've really been enjoying listening to that book. Winging it.

Oh, my God. Tell me what you think.

Oh, that is a. Okay. I'm about halfway through now. And I just love her whole attitude about everything in life. She never seems to have that little.

Her voice.

Seems to always tell her, like, why, why couldn't I do this? Why wouldn't I try this? Why can't it be me? And just. She literally just wings it. She decides something and she's like, I'm just gonna try it and see what happens.

It's so good. It's like. Is it like lighting a fire in you?

Yes. It just makes you realize that all the little things that you are overanalyze in your mind and you're like, oh, I could never do that. That could never be me. Just freaking do it. Because the worst that could happen is not that bad.

So I'm going to need you to finish that book and then I'm going to need you to read the big leap. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I got to read the big leap.

And then I'm going to need you to start your paper company because I am buying cards at a rapid rate.

The Holidays on the corner.

It's not even about the holidays. Don't. You will never get a holiday card for me. I'm just letting you know right now. Some people are like that. That's how I like. Even in. Even in winging it, she talks about how important that is for her. That's how she keeps up her relationships. And I'm like, I'm not even gonna try to stretch into that. I will keep up my relationships in a different form. But for me, holiday cards, that. That would actually feel like you slowly cutting off my fingers. It's not. Not gonna be how I show you my love. So. But I will use. But I do send other cards.

Yeah, you send very nice cards.

Like, I love sending just thoughtful cards for nothing or around your birthday. But for some reason, I think because holidays, to me, it feels like you're just supposed to do it. And it's like. I don't know. It's so weird. I. I don't know why I have this. Like, I. I love getting the holiday cards. Yeah.

It's okay that you don't want to write them. It's okay.

Okay. Thank you. Feeling really stressed about that. I want to take a minute to remind you how important it is to have a fast comeback rate from the failures in life and in business. It's as crucial in business as it is in health. So if you're in charge of hiring, it should be in every single job description. Whether you're ready to make your next important hire or you need some rehiring tips, Indeed is here to help. Indeed.com is the number one job site in the world because Indeed gets you the best people fast. With 73% of online job seekers visiting, Indeed each month, Indeed is going to get you the most important hire you need, just like they have for over 3 million businesses. So right now, Indeed is offering our listeners a free $75 credit to boost your job post, which means more quality candidates will see it fast. Try Indeed out with a $75 credit@ Indeed.com happy. This is their best offer that you are going to find anywhere. So go right now to indeed.com happy. Terms and conditions apply. Offer valid through December 31st. Yeah, so I'm waiting for your paper because I actually think there's a really big void for really cute girly cards. They all look like they're all super bedazzled and it's all about shop. They all have shopping bags on the front cover. Like, all we do is shop till we drop and drink champagne. I love that. But could we also put some, like, could we put something a little more funny or some deeper, like, elements into how we feel about each other through cards? Like, or funnier. Just go straight funny. Yeah. Like we. We're not shopping till we drop and everything is not about wine. It is, but.

It is. But we don't need more cards about it.

Right. Like, you make the wine glass smaller, make something else bigger, you know, and also we've got bigger goals. Like throw a couple Bentleys on the COVID of that card. You know, put us in the Bentleys. I don't even know if we want Bentleys. I don't think that we do. I met someone the other day, their dog's name was Bentley. And I was like, oh, that's so cute. She's like, yeah, so I own a Bentley. So there you go.

Such a California moment.

It was such a California moment. Yes. Yeah.

Because I own a bat link. Of course you do.

Yeah, you do. You were going to say something. I cut you off.

I don't even remember. I can, I can give you a review of the week, though. That's really nice.

Oh, let's do that.

Okay. Oh, man, this is so nice. This is from Chrissy Mendelssohn. Lori and Evans feel like the sisters I never had. Oh, my God.

We are Sissy.

Sissy, Chrissy, Chrissy, Sissy. I have been following Lori for a long time. Her outlook and wisdom helped me through some of the hardest times of my life. Then came Evans and this duo was the absolute best. They are the sisters you wish you had. Honest, hilarious and insightful. These two bring you self development, decorated and laughter. I look forward to every episode. Thank you for always showing up. Oh, my Lord.

Sissy, Chrissy. We just feel like we are the triple duo. Come join us.

We'll have Chrissy.

We'll have a morning coffee chat. Yeah. Bring your bathrobe. I don't know why, because I'm always in a bathrobe. Evans is always looking cute. I'm always in a bathrobe. Okay, thank you so much for that raving review of the week. You've made our entire day. And Evans, do we have cues? Do we have questions?

Yes. They're about collaboration.

Yeah. Yeah.

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Free okay oh man, oh man. Where do we even start with these? Okay. Oh. This is an interesting question from Heganauto. Megan wants to know how do you approach or go about asking a brand or influencer to collaborate? Do you pitch them, win them over, charm Them.

Oh, so good. I think at the end of the day, it's all about a relationship. And also, in order to collaborate with someone, there's no way for you to collaborate with them until you know what's in it for them. So if you're pitching, you're actually trying to pitch in a way of not selling yourself, which is important, actually. It's not a time to not break. It's actually time to brag in a beautiful way. But you're going to start with the pitch being what's in it for them. So. And you can't just guess what's in it for them. You actually have to kind of study what they are up to, what their goals are right now. Are they promoting a podcast, A book? Are they promoting a product? Are they, you know, are they really trying to give back to a certain charity that they're in love with? You know, what's going on in their life right now? So I think ultimately, though, it's about a relationship. You're going to just show up on their radar. So I know you can't just be like, hey, let's be friends, somebody maybe at another level. But what's gonna happen is you do need to start showing up. So whether you have to remind yourself, you know, three times a week to go comment on their stuff or share whatever they have, or if you have any groups that you're a leader of, like, share their book in there, share what they're doing, highlight them as a guest. Make sure people go in and not a guest. Highlight them as maybe, I don't know, make people go follow them. All of the things you notice that, like, I notice when people do that. And all of a sudden it's really funny because then I'll meet people a year or two later, like, maybe at the Bliss Project or something, and they're like, hey, I'm Tracy. I don't know if you know who I am. I always comment and share your stuff. I'm like, oh, my God, yes. We talk all the time. Like, I feel like I know you. Like, it actually feels that way. And so if she were to ask me something, like, hey, and this has definitely happened. Hey, would you forward my new book that I'm working on now? If you just asked me out of the blue and said, I followed you forever, I really love you, but I've never seen you, right? Like, would you forward my book? I'd be like, you know what? I only do this if I know that I, like, if I kind of, like, know somebody's presence and what they're about. And I'll only do it if I know who you are and what you're like, what you stand for. Because what if you stand for something totally different than I do, and all of a sudden my name is now attached to your book forever. So if they, if I've seen them and looked at their stuff and feel like I know this person, oh, my God, she's all about supporting women, and I see how she shows up, I'll probably say yes right there. If I've, you know, if you've been on my radar and I have said yes right there and I've said no right there. Like, I, I can't do it unless I actually, like, have known you for a while. So I think that's a really good point of. It's about. Oh, this. Emma talks about this all the time in her book now that we're talking about, you know, Emma's the topic for right now. She has no idea because we're all listening to her book, but she just spoke into our mastermind and was saying, by the time you need a relationship, it's too late. So make the relationships now. Like, start getting on the radars now. Start giving and showing up on people who you like, really want to emulate, who you. Who have given back to you. We forget, like, where do we begin? Well, begin with the people who have poured into you. Like, you know, is it your mentors? Is it people whose podcasts you listen to? Is it books? Is it. What is that? And how can you show up for them? Never underestimate how those people need you and how much they probably love you and how they would love to hear from you, because their mission is you. Like, they, you have to show up in order for them to live in their, in their mission, which is probably some sort of service, whether it's teaching about business or books or whatever. So I think it's all about relationships first and then it is about, you know, then, then pitching. And if, if before the relationship you do have something that's really valuable to that person. Like, if someone came to me right now and they had a really large community or super loyal women and they were like, hey, I would love to share your product into this group. But what I would love is maybe if you came in for, you know, 15 minutes or share, you know, sent me some of your product, I would look at that. If it was a large group of very loyal women who they knew would, would purchase without knowing the person. Right? So you have to kind of know what their goals are and where they're at.

Yeah. You have to do some research and think about. It's all about supporting each other. And you're. And look. Maybe looking for someone who's kind of in line with your value system, too.

Million percent. I think that's probably the most important thing is first saying, you know, don't get in. Don't get, like, too caught up in the shine. Like, really look at. Is this someone who is just, like you said, like, who is in your value system. That's huge. Like, who shares those same values. I love that.

Me too. You want another one? Okay.

Sorry, I was swallowing coffee.

This is another. It's like, how's your coffee intake this week? Are you still doing a fourth of a cup?

Yeah, totally. I. And I feel so good.

You do?

Yes. I think I'm sleeping better.

Dang it. I was hoping you were not gonna say this.

I know. I was hoping I would not stay with it.

No.

But I'm fooling myself because I'm adding hot water to it. Like, it tastes the same to me, pretty much. It's a little watery, but you kind of get used to it. And, you know, it's really nice to not be in that, like, frantic worry mode, because as much as I was addicted to the frantic, it's very addicting. Like, flying around and being all freaked out and, like, hopping up on life and, like, it feels so good. But then also, at the same time, I'm like, oh, my God, Things could go terribly wrong. Oh, my God. What if Bananas gets out of the house and runs in the road today? What? Where did that thought come from? Like, I will think of the scariest shit and throw it into my, like, good moment, because I'll just, like, big leap says I will upper limit myself. It's like, oh, you're feeling good and you're feeling joy. Why don't you throw a crimp in that right now? Like, why don't you put a stick in your spokes and fly off into a tree and break your neck? Like, that's literally how the brain works.

I do that, too. I'll be like, oh, I'm gonna get abducted right now. You're not. No, you're not.

Yeah, you're okay. You're all right. Like, you have your tracking device. I don't know if you do, but.

It'S 12pm you're in a neighborhood. It's fine.

Yep.

This is why I don't watch murder shows.

No, I try not to either.

Yeah. Anyway. Sorry.

No. Are you kidding? That was really valuable.

That was really valuable to everyone. Here's another question for you. Let's do it. This is from. How do you overcome the fear that collaborators in the same space as you are your competition.

Oh, so good. Oh, my God. So good. Okay, this is really interesting because this is gonna get a little woo. Little woo on you. What's her name again?

I think it's done. IG Morris. I'm probably mispronouncing.

Well, I'm not gonna try to say your name, but it's a beautiful, lovely name, and I'm so grateful that you gave the question. So, okay, here's. Here's where we go. When you're coming from a place of fear and you're going to collaborate with someone, it is attracting potentially something to go wrong. And I just. I just feel like until you can be, like, accepting that something could go wrong and, like, whatever. I know what my intentions are. Until you come with such clean intentions, and if you're like, I'm not sure. You gotta go for it anyway. Like, the beginning actions of this are all gonna. They're gonna feel scary, and you might attract someone who steals something of yours. Big deal. At the end of the day, if you can be the person who's like, you know what? I'm. I want to just live in my mission, ultimately, and I want to collaborate with people, and I want to live this type of life and be this type of person. I'm not saying let people walk all over you, but I am saying, like, okay, if somebody. Let's just say you wrote this beautiful website and you took months on it and someone stole, like, your whole, like, sales copy. Okay, so they stole your whole sales copy. What do you want to do? Do you wanna spend the next three months suing them, or do you wanna just kind of, like, let them know, hey, you know, this happened? It's. It's kind of like, what do you wanna spend your energy on? And, you know, you can call them out. You could get a lawyer. You can do all of those things. And that's what we fear with collaborating, right? Like, someone's gonna steal my stuff and get credit for it. All right, great. So if they get credit for it, what's gonna happen? Like, what? You're so pissed because you didn't get the credit. That's just our ego talking. Truly. And of course, there's a place where it's like, cease and desist. Like, this was my property. Especially if it was in a book or Something like that. But at the same time, even that, you guys, I have seen so many quotes from my book thrown up without my name or my book around it. And it's like, if I took. This happens to everyone, by the way, like, Evans, people have probably taken your stuff from this podcast, and I wish I was, like, joking, but it's great. Like, and then used it and like, they claimed your jokes.

Unbelievable. You'll be hearing from my attorney.

Or instead, you're like, oh, my God, like, I just got to become a little piece of their life. That's so cool. So, yeah, there's some people right now who probably don't understand this concept yet or get it, but if you're going to be out there like, it's. It's natural, people are going to want to take and be a part of what. What you've done, and they're going to do that by recycling it or saying it in their own way or just straight up taking it and not giving you any credit. And I just feel like, where do you want to put your energy? And that stops us from collaborating. I'm not saying that you keep collaborating with someone who does that. You don't. That's where you just say, okay, that's actually not. That's not my person. But that's what we're fearing. So that's what I want to point out. Like, we're fearing that this person will take all the credit or that they'll take our stuff or that their competition or that all of our people are going to go to them. Okay, if all of your people go to them, guess what's going to happen? A lot of their people are going to go to you. So if you're truly in a collaborative spirit, you have to understand the consumer, and the consumer never just wants one thing or one person. Have you ever been like, I only have one mentor. I can't listen to another book, another podcast. I can't buy another product because I. I only have one shampoo. Like, even if you're loyal to a shampoo, guess what? You're gonna go and try that new shampoo that says your hair is going to be thicker. You're going to try it because you're a consumer. We're all consumers. And, you know, I found that the most liberating thing for me is to actually encourage people to try other people. And I think it opens up this vast palette of people, and it compliments you. Because when we try to be all things to people, we actually put ourselves on a pedestal. And we. We will end up failing miserably because you'll never be that. So what I do is I invite in different flavors that I am not. And what it does is it actually makes you better. It makes you a better leader. It makes them want to stay longer, because they know they're going to get X from you, who you already are. And they're also. You're also going to always try to diversify and give them the things that you're not giving them. So they'll stay with you longer, if not forever, knowing that you will always invite people into this beautiful, you know, circle that you've created for them. The Circle of Trust. Greg. Wait, was it from. What was that called?

Yes, the Circle of Trust.

Was his name Greg?

Yeah, Greg Focker.

Greg Focker. Invite other people in, Greg, and it's gonna be great. Like, don't get so stingy. Don't worry about collaborating. And I'm only saying that because that was totally me. Like, oh, my God. I mean, I had a moment when I started the Bliss project. It was like year two. And number one, I was trying to invite people in because I didn't feel like I was enough to run it. Like, I didn't feel like I was a big enough person to be able to carry this event and for people to buy the tickets. So I thought that I had to invite in, like, a big name. So I had sent out some, like, emails to invite in these really big name speakers who were way bigger than me, and I couldn't afford to come to the event. And there was a part of me that was like, I hope they say no. I hope they say no, because they're gonna come and they're gonna, like, steal the show, and it's not gonna be about me at all. And everyone's gonna think that my teachings are really stupid compared to theirs, and that I'm, like, a big fraud. And I think that, you know, number one, they said no because I couldn't afford them at the time. And number two, it was like, wow, I was really in fear of, I'm gonna look stupid if I invite these other people in. I'm not gonna look as smart. And I think that that's also something that we deal with. And it's like, you know what? Just go for the collaboration and also go for people at your level or around your level, too. Cause sometimes they're the best people to collab with. Cause you guys are kind of in the same arena and going through the same thing. And I definitely Think it is important to collab with other levels. But you have to know what kind of value you're bringing to them if you're going to do that. Because it's gotta be an equal energy exchange for people. And you can't get pissed when you're like, oh, they think they're too good. No, they've just put in a lot more work. And you. They would be benefiting you way more than you could ever benefit them at that point. So it's not worth their time because their time is so, so precious. So I understand that because I have done that. Like, I have tried to get those people to collab. And now I understand now that I have so many things going on. I'm like, oh, God. It's just you have to really pick and choose with what's gonna give you an equal energy exchange for where you're at. So that was a long answer, Evans.

I really liked it. And I also. I can speak as a consumer that to your note that when you said, like, people are gonna try different things. Like, I'm thinking about. I still read a lot of blogs. Cause I love reading people's blogs. And I definitely follow a lot of their similar voices, but unique. And I love when they do stuff together or when they're like, hey, this person is like me. I'm like, cool. More awesome content that I know I already like. I will sign up for sure.

Like, we love that. We love when we can switch up, you know, the energy and try new things and hear new voices and new perceptions and thoughts. So, I mean, I think the best collaborations are bringing in the people and the strengths that you do not have. And then. And then by doing that, you actually have them. So I always think of that, like, where I feel weak or where I feel like I'm, you know, maybe can't serve people. I invite those people in. I used to try to be that person. Like, I was like obsessed with. Help me. Why can't I think of it like Joe, Joe Dispenza, what he teaches. Wow. Apparently I just really have pushed it out of my brain.

No quantum physics either.

Quantum physics. Like, I was obsessed with. Obsessed with, like, quantum physics. So I was trying to read all of these science books. That is not for me. Like, I am not gonna explain to you quantum physics. And I remember before a bunch of bliss projects, I was so overwhelmed and I was like, I have to teach this, but I'm gonna sound so stupid. And then I was like, wait, this is not what I'm supposed to Be talking about. I will invite someone in to talk about this or play a video, which I did instead, and give them credit, and then talk about how this is applied to my life. So we're always trying to be this expert and it's like, what? No, don't try to be something you're not. Focus on what you are. And then invite in other people like we're meant to. If it was just about us, like God wanted to put other people on the planet, it would just be you trying to learn everything, like talking to the lions, you know?

And that sounds kind of fun, but also terrible.

Terrible, because what if a lion is like, this isn't your zone of genius. You shouldn't be teaching this idiot. You're gonna be eaten. Then you would. Then you're dead. So stay in your lane or be eaten by a lion is the moral of the story. I just think that's should be the moral of every story.

That's all there is. And I.

You know what? I don't know if I even, like, stay in your lane, because I do think that. Here's the thing. I just think a lot of people aren't actually in their lane. So when they hear stay in your lane, they're like, oh, I should just stay small? No, you need to first get in the right lane or left the correct lane for you, and then stay in your zone of genius. All right, Evans, I have consumed a lot of your time this morning. This is a long one. So hopefully you didn't have an appointment after this because my a hole self did not ask you.

No, I have. I have no appointments.

Okay. I pray that we're at a point that you'd be like, I gotta go. I would tell you instead of you, like, sitting there with stomach cramps and blotches.

Yeah, I just. I just pooped my pants.

I've pooped, I have blotches, and I didn't speak my truth. I'm late for a meeting. We do that to ourselves.

I know. That is. Listen, I don't mean to bring up my dental hygienist again, but she said that women are the worst about putting everybody else before themselves, and that's why their teeth need to be cleaned more, because they just don't spend the two minutes.

Another moral of the story. Put yourself first or your teeth will fall out.

Exactly. You're going to have gingivitis, and nobody wants to be around someone with gingivitis.

Oh, my God. You know what's so bad about that is if you get eaten by a lion. They won't even know it was you because you won't have teeth.

Which brings us back to our first initial point of keeping baby teeth. We have officially become full circle on this podcast.

You know what? We blow our minds every single time. So. All right, we'd like to leave you with this. Hopefully you're feeling the same elevated way that we are right now. And until next time, be questionably awesome. Evans, thank you for your love, for your time. Thank you for your future paper company. I just can't wait to write on it. I can't wait for all the hilarious jokes that are going to be on it to send to my girlfriends.

Me too. I can't wait to get a letter.

Okay. All right, until next time, everyone. Have the best day ever.

Bye Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye Bye.