621. Stop Fighting For Your Limitations

Because there's always a set of choices that can be made outside of the choices that you're making.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you.

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Here we go. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the show. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and I want to share this quote with you. It is a quote from the book I've been reading. Yes, you guys, I feel like a broken record telling you to get this book. It's the third time I've read it, the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. And I will probably read it again right after I'm done reading it. I think I have three pages left and I'm kind of sad because I might just start it over tomorrow morning. So with that said, one of the quotes, there's a million great quotes in there, but it is, if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. What does that mean? So where in your life are you fighting for something, blaming someone, justifying, and really fighting for your limitation? Maybe by thinking I'm not smart enough or that's not a possibility for me or I can't do that. I have anxiety. I can't do that. I don't have that education. If you keep on saying these things to yourself, you're actually fighting to keep the limitation that you have placed upon yourself. And I want you to look back throughout potentially your history of your family and see where there is a limitation that you have decided to adopt, that something you weren't even thinking beforehand has come up within your family and you have decided that it's a family curse and you've decided to believe that it's your curse as well. This is where our brains are choosing to opt in to these limiting beliefs and adopting them and saying, this must be true. This is what I've seen. This must be true. So I know that there has been multiple places in my life where someone told me something and I decided that it was true and wore that, right? Like wore that as a badge of honor. I have anxiety, it runs in my family. Depression, you know, struggles with weight. And that was just something that was a part of me. Like, this is just what I'm dealing with. So this is why I am how I am. Look at my family, like, look at what we struggle with. Look at our strengths. Do you feel bad for us?

Right?

And that is a decision. And if you're like, no, it's not, then you're fighting for your limitation. Because there's always a set of choices that can be made outside of the choices that you're making, right? There's always a set of choices that you can be making. And if right now you're feeling upset, it's probably because there is a part of you that knows this is true and is really afraid of what might happen if you decide to break that family pattern and break the chain. You're probably afraid that you won't be frickin accepted at Christmas. You're probably afraid that, you know, your family might reject you. You're probably afraid of the really crazy hard work that is gonna come on the other side of accepting that this may not be true, right? When I decided to reject, to reject the idea that I had bad genetics like I had been told my whole life, when I decided to reject that idea, that meant that I couldn't have my three to four snacks at night after dinner every single night and just eat from 7pm from when I finished dinner until 10:30 at night when I went to bed. That would mean I'd have to make a different set of choices that would get me a completely different outcome. Instead of just saying it's my genetics and I'm blaming them, I'd have to actually, actually take ownership over every single thing that I was doing and eating and thinking and how I was numbing my emotions and how I didn't actually want to cope with things that were going on in my life. So instead I would just eat and numb out and watch TV and have alcohol. It's because I was afraid of taking ownership and pulling away the only things that I knew that I related to Joy. It is hard to take ownership, but it is harder to stay in the blame cycle. It's harder to not break the pattern. It's harder to not live into your purpose, because I know your purpose is tapping you every single night. Maybe at 1am or 3am or you're waking up that Monday morning and you're saying to yourself, I can't live a frickin another Monday like this. I have to change, right? It's little pieces of ownership at time, but you need to start acknowledging. It starts with awareness. It starts with saying, where am I fighting for my limitation and what am I actually afraid of? And it's okay to be afraid. Then I can take little baby steps to get out of it. And yes, I am leveling up. I choose to accept that I can level up. I choose to accept that I can get smarter. I choose to accept that I can learn about this thing. I can be an entrepreneur, I can make money, I can make six figures, I can make seven figures, I can be a billionaire, whatever that looks like. It's the choice to say that you can do it. And then it's the choice to know that you can learn anything that you need to. If you are willing to accept failure and if you are willing to ask the questions and if you're willing to rewrite your story. Because I thought that if I leveled up that the amount of work that would come with it would mean that it would sabotage my relationships and sabotage my health. I thought that I would gain weight, I thought that I would be super stressed out and I thought that all my relationships would strain. And I don't want to accept that either. I want to make a new story about what is possible. But it's gonna take massive awareness around the lies that I've been believing around leveling up. Right? Am I looking for the stories that people who are stressed out, who say, you're never gonna be able to make it unless you totally, like, burn every relationship in your life and it's lonely at the top and this is what it's gonna be like? Or do I wanna look at the people like Sarah Blakely, who literally has hired people to do all of the things that she is not good at so that she can thrive in the elements in the zone of she is in her company and make sure she has all of the family time that she wants. How can you prioritize what's important to you and tell yourself a different story around leveling up? How can you say, I don't care how stupid I look, asking every single stupid question because I'm going to get my answers? How can you say, I'm breaking this family pattern, this family curse that's been in my past? And what is that going to mean? What new choices do I have to make and who do I need to start hanging around and what mentors do I need to start listening to in order to start not believing what I've been told my whole life?

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So where in your life are you fighting for a limitation? And what are you actually afraid of? And how can you tell yourself a new story around that? And who can be your new mentors for these new stories? You guys, you can do anything. I swear to God, if I can. If me being from a super small town, restrictive religion, you know, thinking that I had bad genetics and I was, you know, gonna be overweight my whole life, you guys, you. You can literally do anything. And I know there's a million stories out there that are ten bazillion times worse than mine or harder than mine. Mine probably looks like a ridiculous walk in the park to so many people. But what I'm telling you is that no matter what story you're telling yourself, we can decide what story we are going to move forward with. And it's going to take time, but my God, please know that it is within your capacity and realm and it is never too late. And it's never too early to start. So I'm sending you guys so much love. I believe in you. I want to be your biggest cheerleader. I'm obsessed with you. Together, we can literally do anything. You're never doing this alone. So stop thinking that you are. You're going to reach out. You're going to network, you're going to make friends. You're going to get those relationships. But you need to start now. Just like my friend Emma Isaacs says. She says that by the time you need a relationship, it is too late. Start networking now. Start connecting. Start asking questions. Start adding value to people's lives. Even if you don't know what to do. Go build your community. If you don't know how to do anything else, go meet people, make friends. Build your community. Ask how you can add value to other people's lives. You can always do that. Right. And as my friend Patrice Washington says, she says, purpose is not postponed. You will find it. You will figure it out, and you will definitely figure it out. If you are focusing on adding value to other people's lives, get out of your own way and just do it. All right. I love you so much. Let me know what your biggest takeaway was from this. You guys, as always, I'm just so grateful for you. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with some someone you.

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