630. Please Get Your Hopes UP!

Without the expectation of what you want to come. Like, if you don't stay in expectancy, it will never happen.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business, and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. And we're back with another episode of he said, she said.

And this is the first one we're recording ever, ever in our new house, in our new city. Okay, so everyone's probably gonna want an update.

Yeah.

How are you feeling?

I feel amazing. I was really freaking nervous because it was hard.

Yeah.

To leave. And.

And I heard episodes on it.

Oh, my God. I know I'm gonna have moments. Like, I've had a moment of, like, really missing the ocean, but at the same time, like, it's really, really. I really love our neighborhoods as well. I think you just. This comes down to every single thing that we've ever done. What you focus on is how you're gonna feel that day. So when I start to miss something about California or I start to get, like, FOMO or feel like I'm gonna be left out for some reason, I start to focus on all the things that I get to do here and the reasons why that's not true.

Can you give me an example? Because, Ashley, this is really important. It probably wasn't what we're going to talk about today, but this is really important that no matter where you go, there's no perfect place. It's you choosing to make it perfect for you or not.

Yeah, I think it's. It's always what you focus on. Right? So when I was leaving, it's like I have moments of, oh, my God, what if I don't get invited to that thing now because I don't live there? And you know, what if my opportunities get less because of X, Y and Z? And it's like, you know, if I focus on that, of course I'm gonna feel bad and I'm gonna be like, oh, I don't like how it's so dry here. And I Don't like that. I don'. Feel like there's water nearby. And I. I don't like that. I. I feel like maybe all the buzz is still in Los Angeles, and it's kind of like, okay, well, what if I shifted and said I get the best of both worlds and how can I also have that and still, like, get all of the great things about here and what is great about here? So that's what I shift into as quickly as I catch myself, is it's just like when I talk negative about myself or start picking myself apart in the mirror. It's like, okay, yeah. The more that you focus on that, the uglier you get in the mirror. Or you can step away and. And think about how great.

Something you're grateful for.

Yeah. Something you're grateful for and something that you're so, like, you know, you can focus on something completely different.

Okay, so you gave us examples of things you might miss in la. So what is this something different you're focusing on here to be like, oh, wow, now I get this. Oh, wow.

And I get that really good girlfriends. More space, more ability to go places. Ease. Ability.

We've had a lot of fun running errands.

So much fun. Like, time sa. Like, so much time saving here. I can't believe it. Appointments. Ease of doctor's appointments. Not waiting for months to get into places. Oh, my gosh. Feeling like there's. It's an extremely safe neighborhood. Like, never really worrying too much. Yeah. Just excited for how easy it is when people come visit us and that they have parking. Like, we didn't have parking for people, so they'd always be getting parking tickets. And just. I try to focus on, you know, the things that I didn't focus on about what made LA not fun, living there. I wouldn't focus on those when I lived there.

Right, right.

And that's good. That's what made LA great for me. And I realize that now. So it's kind of like, okay, well, I did that a lot in la. I focused on only the good. So what if I only focus on the good here? Cause there's plenty of things that, you know, I don't love, but there's also so many that I do.

One of the things that you and I have been masters at is we will always, it's like, become our default. We've built this muscle. We will always see the positive in everything. We will always, like, love where we're at or love what we're doing because we're. It's Just like where we go as the default, we kind of shut out the bad. And that's. That's my hope for everybody else is, you know, all of a sudden you went off on this tangent. We started talking about this right now. My hope is that people realize, guys, it's really just up to you to build that default muscle, no matter where you are, of positivity. I mean, no matter what muscle right.

Now, no matter what city that we've been in, it's always been great. We've always made the best of it.

I remember when you were, like, devastated to leave Minneapolis for Los Angeles.

Devastated.

Love Los Angeles. And then you recognize some of the things Minneapolis you didn't like.

Totally. And that's what you have to do, right? You always have to, like, flip flop.

That's cool. Well, we can end it right there and this would be valuable for people. But I actually wanted to bring something up today on this episode. And that was a really special moment that you just had out of the blue today when we were out in the gym working out. Mm. You wanna share that moment?

Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, you know me. I am not a crier.

No.

Like, it is pretty rare that I break down or, like, get really emotional. Huh?

No drama with this one.

No, just, like. And it's hard for me to. I think one of my kind of, like, protection mechanisms from, like, growing up was to just block out emotion. So for me, it's actually. It takes me a lot to access a lot of deep emotions around things or usually it'll hit me, like, way later. And I really, you know, I had the intention, though of really wanting to experience deep gratitude for this house and also to, like, do like, a house blessing or, like, really feel into, like, gratitude for how we've, you know, manifested this dream home that we're in. And so I had that intention. So I think that that probably also helped, like, wanting to deeply feel grateful for how far that we've come. And so we're just working out in the gym and you guys. I had this song on my playlist that I used to listen to way back in Minneapolis before I even had my first gym. And I would walk around the neighborhood and, like, play this. I. This would be on repeat for me. It was on repeat, like, for probably a year or two. And I would listen to it every single time I would go for a walk or I'd add it to a current playlist that I was listening to. And it just, like, was so ingrained in me because it's about living this great, abundant, rich life. Meaning. Rich in everything. Rich in, like, your relationships, your. Your wealth, your everything.

Surroundings.

Your surroundings. And it talks about, like, not settling and I'm gonna live the rich life. Meaning. It's actually. It was actually a spiritual song, or I think it was, like a religious song. It doesn't sound like it, but I learned that she was a religious singer later on. But anyway, it's. That's what it's about, right? Like, this great life. And it just talks about how she's, like, essentially manifesting and dreaming in the song of what. How she's gonna do it and how she's gonna overcome things and how she's gonna feel. And I remember, like, getting the vision of my life during this, and I didn't know what it was gonna be, but I knew that it was gonna be more. And I would feed this song to myself every day because it would help me elevate and feed. Feed myself in those low times of, like, you know, when my life did not look that way and I didn't feel like I could do it. And when we had lost everything. And way before I had done anything, like, anything. Way before I'd spoken in front of an audience, way before I'd competed in fitness competitions or around that time that I was competing in fitness competitions. And I just pictured myself being successful. And, you know, I would, like, implant the song over and over. And probably two years into it, I think I just listened to the crap out of it, like, literally. So I just kind of. It kind of like disappeared. You know, songs just, like, they disappear in your life. And I have had this song on my phone for I can't tell you how long. And I listen to it on my phone on shuffle all the time. And it has not come up once since I. Since, you know, those early, early times.

Probably.

Forgotten song.

Yeah, eight, ten years now. And so today in the gym, it came up in this house, and she was just saying all of these things. And I got brought right back to the moments when I just didn't know how I was gonna do it. And my life looked nothing like this. And we had lost everything. And I was just out on my walks trying to figure out how to dream and manifest and, you know, find anyone who could help me or figure out how to help myself.

And I just really, like, down moments, like, reinvention moments, low part of the.

Curve moments, and I just lost it. Like, I just started bawling because I could not believe how quickly your life can change in 10 years. And I know that sounds like, ooh, 10 years is not fast, but it's like my whole life, in my whole being and Persona and self and identity and what I believe about myself and what I believe I can accomplish and what I'm connected to is just like. Was so overwhelming to me that it literally brought me to my knees and I just bawled because I was in complete gratitude, looking over this pool at this beautiful house with my husband and my dog, and knowing that, you know, we have family coming to visit for Thanksgiving. And I just was so overwhelmed with this dream life, because that's what she talks about, is your dream life. So it was just a complete full circle moment.

You. Such a special moment is one of the most raw, unexpected, beautiful, emotional moments I've ever gotten to witness or be a part of with you. I mean, I've seen you win those fitness world championships. I've seen you do all these other great things, start businesses or hit accomplishments, and you've never really reacted emotionally. And you just broke down crying and then went to your knees. And it was one of the most beautiful, unexpected things I'd ever seen today.

Oh, God, it's making me cry right now because it was visceral. I'm. I literally stepped into the sh. The shoes of Lori of 10 years ago. And it just brought me to that place where it's like, I knew it, but I didn't know it. And I just, you know, I had so much faith, but at the same time, equal parts doubt. And it's like, God, I just. I think I felt a collective energy of how people feel right now, maybe, who are just starting out on their dreams. And I'm just like. I just wanted to just, like, go back there and remind people if you're feeling that, if you can visualize it, if you can do what I did every single day in just one little baby step at a time, like, it feels like. It feels like you're not moving right at all. And then all of a sudden, 10 years later, it's like, your life is totally different. Don't even have the same people in it. Like, it's outrageous. And I. I just think, like, I had that moment of wanting to go back to my old self and be like, girl, you have no idea. It's going to be even bigger than you can imagine. And I just want to say that to Everybody on here.

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You guys, whoever is listening, if you're a couple, if you're single, if you're whatever that is, everything that you want is coming. If you plant that seed every day and you feed that thought and the doubt is going to come in so hard and you better have something, let yourself get to that place. If you don't let yourself get to that place, some of us don't.

Right?

Because we're like afraid we'll lose it or we're afraid it's not accessible or we're afraid to get your hopes up. Like, I want to just like crush that. I want to destroy that saying because I heard that my whole life. Don't get your hopes up. Get your freaking hopes up every single day. Let them be crushed. It's fine. But get your hopes back up again because without the expectation of what you want to come, like if you don't stay in expectancy, it will never happen.

Oh, I love that. It literally hit me when you said, I hate that phrase when people say don't get your hopes up. Yeah is the most.

It's the worst phrase I've ever heard in my life.

Back phrase ever, ever, ever.

Yeah, get your hopes up and let it be okay if it doesn't happen.

Right.

But keep your hopes up.

Well, thank you for sharing that moment. It's just something special that I wanted everybody to be able to take something away from to, you know, I wish they could have been there to experience. But second best is hearing you describe it and just pouring hope into them. That, guys, anything is possible. Like whatever your goals are right now, as we start to creep into 2021, whatever your goals are totally possible. And it happens faster than you think. Yes, it happens faster than you think. By the way, if you want us to help you with those goals and if you sell anything online, I want you to text the word 2021 to me at 310-421-0416 because here's what we're doing. We put together a 2021 income accelerator. We're only doing it for 10 people. There's only three spots left. That's how quickly it went. You get a one on one strategy session so that we can literally map out your first half of 2021 and make sure you're successful. Then you get a three day live in person workshop, totally distanced and safe. That's why we're only doing 10 people, so we can make sure we can have it out here in Scottsdale. Yes. This very home that Lori's talking about. We're hosting reception. The first night, just a reception. The 10 people, so exciting with Lori and I and just a dream just to have that hope, sit around the fire and just talk and get to know each other a little bit. Then in the workshop, we're gonna literally dive into. We're bringing in sales copywriters, we're bringing in funnel experts. We're bringing them all in. And we're gonna help you build your lead magnet. We're gonna help you build your customer journey so that we can automate that. We're gonna help you with your product creation or improvement. You're gonna get three months free of text marketing and learn how to use that. We're gonna help you with your Facebook ad build out, guys. We're gonna audit your pages for sales copy to make sure they actually convert and sell. You name it. It goes on and on and on and on. It's literally over $40,000 worth of services condensed into a very short period of time for less than half price.

I like, wish this would have existed for me. It would have, like, shortened my journey by at least three years, for sure.

I guarantee it.

Yep.

So it. Well, speaking of guarantee it, we literally have a guarantee that if you don't double your investment in us by the end of 2021, then you get your money back. How cool is that? Like, that's how much. I know that this works for you. So if you want one of the last three spots, text me at 310-421-0416. Just send me the word 20. 2120.

The word or the letter?

Okay, yeah, well, the numbers. Just send me 2 021.

Yep.

231-04-2106. And we'll start chat. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. I'm glad we could share this special moment with you. And remember, stop listening to that stupid phrase. Don't get your hopes up. Yeah. Get them sky high. Let's freaking go.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye.