631. Stop Taking So Long to Decide

If I get to a place where I'm like, wow, this is really starting to impact my life negatively, then what I'm going to do is say, you know what? I don't want to focus on that anymore. I'm not going to give that energy. I'm going to focus on what is good, what I'm grateful for, and I'm going to move all of my energy into that. Because every single day is a choice. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love of junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the show. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And we are all moved in to our new home in Arizona. And I can tell you that so far, I am loving it. If you've been listening to the he said, she said episodes, we're going a lot deeper on those episodes of how we feel and everything that's going on and why we moved. And it's so funny because in two weeks I'm already flying back to Los Angeles, which, you guys, it's like a 45 minute flight. It's so easy. And today we were on a walk and we ran into somebody here who actually has been listening to the podcast and following along. And we were talking about decisions and how so many people take so long to make decisions because they put so much weight into them. And Chris and I were talking about how we're really viewing this as like, very experimental and not that it's, you know, we're going to leave anytime soon, but giving yourself that. The different wording and the releasing, the pressure around making all of your decisions in life so permanent is really what gives you the freedom to make decisions and risk and try things on and open up more opportunity. And the people who take a really long time to make decisions and weigh every single thing that could happen or go wrong, you know, and there are.

Times in life where you, you do.

Need to do that. Maybe it is A weightier decision. But even things like moving for us, uprooting our life, if you don't put weight on it, like, oh, my God, my life is gonna change. This is my identity. What am I gonna do if it doesn't work out? Like, if you have an I will figure it out attitude, then you take the weight off of those decisions, right? Like, so many people are like, what if I lose this or lose that or lose these relationships? Well, what if you do? Could you deal with it and could you come back from it? And these are the things that we ask all the time. It's not like every decision we works out in our favor whatsoever. I think from the outside looking in, it can really appear that way. But what you're seeing is a lot of different things that we have chosen to make the best of or things that we're not sharing because they absolutely did not go our way. But we chose to make the best of them again and figured out either how to get bigger than the problem like Chris and I always talk about, or how to make the best of a situation. I will tell you, there is a lot going on in my life in the background right now. A lot going on. On in family that I'm just. A lot of things I'm not going to completely focus on in a way that is going to allow myself to bring me down for very long. It's not that I want you guys to avoid anything or that I'm avoiding emotional things, but I give myself that space to feel it, to grieve, you know, to be upset over something. But then I don't sit there for too long because if I get to a place where I'm like, wow, this is really starting to impact my life negatively, then what I'm going to do is, you know what? I don't want to focus on that anymore. I'm not going to give that energy. I'm going to focus on what is good, what I'm grateful for, and I'm going to move all of my energy into that. Because every single day is a choice, right? Every single day is a choice. So I want you to look at your life right now and see where maybe you are putting so much weight on something. Like, oh, my God, if I start this side hustle and I fail, what are people going to think? Take the weight off that and be like, doesn't matter if it fails, right? I can go back and get employed by someone else or find a job for a while till I figure it out. What if, you know, I Leave this great job that I have to go try this new thing that I want to do and it doesn't work out and now you don't have that great job. Well, I really think that if you're being pulled in another direction and you're not completely satisfied, yeah, you could go and try that new thing and it could completely fail and you could lose a lot of money and it could put a lot of pressure on your family. But what's going to happen is that you are now going to be able to check that off the list of things that you wanted to do, and now you're going to work even harder to find that next opportunity. Or the fact that you took away that job that you knew you loved is going to make you freaking show up and work your ass off in that thing that you know that you want to do, Right? Because in, in this podcast I talk so much about positive pressure. If you don't create positive pressure for yourself, which by the way, can be very confused, easily confused with negative pressure, because pressure is pressure, right? But we can turn pressure into stress and negativity really quickly if we get into a place of like, oh my God, I can't believe I did this and now I have to do this and oh my God, instead, you know, I could be under a lot of pressure with bringing on investors for Light Pink. And instead I say, you know what? Instead of saying, oh my gosh, what if this doesn't work out? I'm going to be mortified. I'm going to lose these people's money. I'll never be able to show my face again. I'll never start another company. Like, you guys can see how I could go down a pretty crazy spiral with that. Especially when I wake up at 2am right? Clearly that's happened to me. But what I choose to do, how I choose to reset, is every single day I say, I'm so grateful for this positive pressure because it is making me take action, like massive action. It's making me say, like, freaking step out of the way fear. Because I don't even have an option to let you get to me and hold me back. Because I need to be taking some serious frickin action right now because I have created so much positive pressure that I don't want to let people down. So I am going to show up and work my ass off even when I'm tired and even when I'm scared and even when I feel like I've exhausted all possibilities. I'm going to go figure out another set of possibilities and shake even more trees. So you guys can see how if maybe Chris and I decided to fund this ourselves, that you can see that I would just say, eh, you know what, there's no pressure there. There's nothing on the line. There's nobody that I'm going to disappoint. It's just something that I can say didn't work out or wasn't for me or I wasn't interested in or got really hard.

Right?

Because there's been a million times when it's been really hard. And the fact that I have these people involved makes me want to run through a wall and also to show everyone you have to create positive pressure in your life with this.

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So it's about really looking at your life, seeing where maybe you're putting too much weight on these decisions of I don't know if it's gonna work out, I don't know what I'm gonna do. But also making sure that you have some positive pressure applied to yourself so you show the frick up, you know? So with that said, I want you guys to really take inventory right now and say, wow, I've been making sure that I'm leaving that window cracked so that I can escape or wow, I've been really putting so much pressure on myself over making sure that everything is perfect and that you, everything's going to be aligned and going to be okay. When I move into that new thing, it never will be. And if, if that happens, please let me know how, because I need you to write a book and write the magic formula. Because nobody ever feels that way. Nobody ever knows what they're doing. And everyone who's ever gotten anything is because they've somehow figured out positive pressure. Whether it's a coach, whether they put everything on the line, whether they've sold their stuff to start a business, something like that. Otherwise, if you're real cozy and comfy right now and you haven't told anyone about and you're just kind of randomly working on it. Good luck, because we're never going to see it. The world is never going to know about it. So I really, really hope that you understand that you're actually cheating yourself and fooling yourself. And ask yourself this question. What is something I am pretending not to know? Right? What is something I'm pretending not to know? Are you pretending not to know that your work effort right now is not going to get this business out? Are you pretending not to know that you actually are setting yourself up for failure because you're not putting something on the line? What is it that you're pretending not to know? All right, you guys, I'm sending you so much love. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye. Sam.