637. How to Navigate Holiday Overwhelm

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Lori sometimes no matter what we teach you about, focus on the bright side. And you know we're looking at what we don't have. So what we have, we too fall victim to getting into looking at the wrong things. But you can stop it on a dime by doing a few of the right things.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast.

I'm Lori Harder, founder of the Bliss project. Three time fitness world champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business, and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for.

Someone to tell us we're good enough.

We take what we want and we.

Anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go.

And we're back with another episode of he said, she Said.

And we haven't recorded this in a couple of weeks.

I know. Because we batched a bunch for the holidays.

Imagine that.

I know. Wasn't that nice, like, to have a week off there?

It really was. Actually, it was really nice to have a week off because it was. Because that fits into today's episode. And we are just, like, raising our hands on this episode and saying, oh, my God, somebody save us. We are so freaking overwhelmed right now.

He and she both said we're freaking overwhelmed.

I had no idea.

I don't like to say that. Do you know what's bothering me? That we're having this podcast like that. I'm like, oh, my God. Normally. Because what we teach is, yes, acknowledge it, but then reframe it. And we've been doing all of the reframing that you can possibly do, and, no, we haven't. That's a lie. No. But we've been really trying. But I think we just did so many things all at once with the move. I think we forget that moving is one of the most stressful things you can possibly do in your life.

Well, the first thing I think is going on is we have an expectation hangover. I expected that. We had this planned out and we had all this help, and it was going to be really easy and we would interrupt our lives for a week, but then we would be, you know, back to normal after that. Yeah, not even close.

No. No, not at all. Like, my office has just, like, tons of boxes in it, and I don't have a desk yet, and I'm randomly jumping from room to room. We have your brother and his girlfriend staying here, which is great, but it also adds to us jumping rooms for offices, all of us working together every week.

You?

Yeah, it's just there's so many things going on. Having company, having. What else? No, I don't have an assistant. We don't have our normal. There's a national shortage right now. Who's amazing, but we don't have her.

There's a national shortage on furniture, by the way, everyone here, you know, everyone thought that we're in some kind of a recession. There is like a three or four month shortage on furniture orders. There is a three or four month shortage on washers and dryers. There is a several month shortage on, like, good help and good labor to finish building things you need built in your home or fixed. It is crazy. At least here. Maybe not national, but here in Arizona.

I feel like I need to put like an asterisk out there that says, and yet we know we have a great life, of course, but right now I'm having trouble breathing in the morning. Like, it seems like in the afternoon I kind of like get my bearings and like, you know, as I start really getting into things. But in the morning, I'm waking up so overwhelmed, like, I can't breathe, like, I can hardly talk to you. I'm really frustrated. I'm trying to stay in a good mood and I'm just not.

And by the way, if you're hearing this, you're like, oh, you poor people. You don't have your assistance. You don't have your house, normal housekeeper. You don't have all these things yet. This is not what this is about. No, this is about us sharing with you vulnerably that we are overwhelmed and where we caught ourselves looking at the wrong things and what you can do when you catch yourself being overwhelmed. So on the surface, one would listen to this podcast and they would say, well, you're overwhelmed because you just moved. But that's really not true because we can technically get everything done. We really can. I think we're realizing that we're overwhelmed for a big reason, because we found ourselves asking what's missing instead of what's great, what do we gain? So we were concentrating on what's missing. What's missing? Who's missing? I don't have this yet. I don't have that yet. Instead of concentrating on some of the things that we've gained that we absolutely love, like, it's easier to get around, it's easier on air. We absolutely love the weather right now. And we've been concentrating on the wrong things and that's adding to us feeling overwhelmed.

Yeah, I. I found myself yesterday on a walk with you because that's kind of where we solve the world's problems. Just really going, oh, my gosh, this is why I feel this way, is because, you know, I'm looking for the why am I overwhelmed? Instead of like, well, what can I do to support myself? I'm like, oh, because I. I don't have my assistant. I'm trying to raise money. I'm trying to run this other business. I'm trying to do this podcast. I'm starting another podcast. Like, all of these different things that I'm piling on my plate, looking at, how am I going to do this without someone? Well, here I am. Like, I just hired someone. They were starting. I wasn't even thinking of that. It was just like, oh, she's not here yet.

That's an example, by the way, of looking at what you don't have instead of looking at what you have.

Exactly, exactly. Like, instead of going, oh, well, she's starting this week. That's pretty amazing that I got somebody to start. And it's just a little while longer that I'm going to feel this way. And pretty soon I'm going to feel amazing because I have help coming in. And I think, like, even just with the house knowing that the holidays are coming and it's, you know, just birthdays and people coming in and things like that, I'm looking at, wow, I have nobody to help me with this house and the unboxing and moving and all of the things. Instead of just saying, okay, sit down, find some help, get some TaskRabbit people over here, like, you're. You're going to be able to do this, and how great that you have these people that you can actually call on to to do this. You know, instead I was just like, I, I don't have anyone. I'm gonna have to do this all myself. I don't have time to do this. How am I gonna run this company? How am I gonna start it? Just, that's what we do, right? We go down the rabbit hole of what we don't have.

So there's two points here that Lori's making that I hope you guys are grabbing. Point number one is a lot of times when you feel overwhelmed, it's because you think your current situation is gonna last forever. And in 99% of the cases, it's not, but you're pretending it is. You're acting like it is you. Maybe there's even a little dopamine hit of attention in there by playing out like, oh, my God, I don't know how I'm going to survive. I don't know how I'm going to do this. It's going to last this way forever. And that's normally not the case. That's point number one. Point number two, I hope that you caught is there's always a solution. There's always somebody that you can call for help, something that you can use for help, some hack that you can use for efficiency, or sometimes something that you can give up in terms of expectations. It's okay to not get everything done by a certain deadline.

So I want to remind you that.

While this is like one of the.

Most exciting times of the year, it's also one of the most stressful. But I don't want you to just try to survive. This is all about thriving. And that's why I love Headspace. It's literally your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations in an easy to use app. You guys, I'm obsessed because whatever situation I'm in, Headspace really can help me feel better.

And you know that listening to this.

Podcast that I can feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. But I talk about meditating for very short periods of time. And headspace has a 3 minute SOS meditation for you that really does make a difference, especially if I need help falling asleep. They also have a wind down session for all of their members that people absolutely swear by. And parents. You can even do morning meditations with your kids. So you deserve to feel happier. And Headspace is meditation made simple. Go to headspace.com happy that's headspace.com happy for a free one month trial with access to Headspace's full library of meditations for every situation. This is the best deal offered right now. Head to headspace.com happy today.

You know, and this morning we almost skipped our walk because we were both so overwhelmed and like pissed off. And then I was like, we know that we have to go for this walk right now. I was like, I know that you're upset because you were upset, like maybe with me that you didn't have time or something to go. And I'm like, we absolutely need to go to start reframing and get in the right mindset and get a plan. Because we often give up the very thing that's going to help us in these moments. That's why this is so important right now. During the holiday season is so many people stop working out.

Yes.

They stop, you know, meditating, they stop asking for help and they start just thinking like, it feels like the world is going to implode. So while it's a really exciting time of the year, it's also a time of the year where you need to support yourself more, drink water, take care of yourself, have healthy food, you know, and just sit down and like talk to somebody or make a plan, talk about why you're overwhelmed and ask for help on how you could help negate that. Because that's what happens. It's like we all kind of push off the most important things that we need to do. Not to mention that you and I haven't even bought things for people yet.

No.

And so we need to.

There's like the list of people to buy gifts for coming up is getting pretty, quote, overwhelming.

But I do want to say that we have some epic friends at our favorite winery at One Hope. And yes, we're dropping this in because we have gotten an amazing coupon code for you because we're obsessed with them. If you guys didn't know, we went up to the One Hope Winery. When was that?

About three months ago. And it was the greatest experience ever.

I'm decorating my house after that. I'm literally decorating my whole house after that winery. But this is what I'm talking about is trying to negate certain things. So I'm just going to help you real quick with one of our favorite people because I think we're just going to go straight up wine for everybody.

Everyone's getting wine this year.

Everybody's getting wine except for our non wine drinkers. Like, we'll think of you with something else. But for our wine drinkers, we love One Hope because it is a Napa Valley winery that is built on hope and rooted in purpose. And every bottle that they have is award winning and it supports a meaningful cause. Their commitment to high quality wine is just as important as their commitment to the causes that they support. So One Hope has donated over $5 million to causes around the world. You guys, it's so amazing because they really try to keep their wine not only to quality, but you don't have to sacrifice your wallet. So they have a whole collection that begins at just $25. So that's freaking amazing. And I'm actually gonna give you the coupon code after Chris tells you just a little bit about why he's obsessed.

Well, here's why I'm obsessed. One, it's my favorite wine right now to drink and it's really affordable, so you can get a lot of it and gift a lot of it without feeling guilty or restricted. But number two, as we've really gotten to know Brandon and Jake and the rest of the founders, these are people that are building a company around giving and around that common ethos of making a difference. And so you feel good with every bottle that you open. Like you're making a difference.

So we wanted to make your life easier because we're actually making our lives easier with the Christmas list. So that's one thing that's taking off of our plate for the overwhelm. And if you guys haven't seen these bottles yet, they have the most gorgeous, best selling glitter bottles. Like they're all shimmery. It's a full on glitter bottle that I'm telling you, whoever loves wine, whoever loves champagne, they're going to be obsessed with this bottle. It's the prettiest bottle that you've ever seen. You're going to need to go to the website just to see the bottle. But if you guys do need to stock up, they have so many good discounts right now. But I'm also have a Coupon code for $10 off your first order.

So you're welcome.

You're welcome. So what you can do is visit one hope wine.com forward slash Laurie L O R I and you can use the code LORI L O R I for $10 off your first order today. That's OneHope Wine.com Laurie with the coupon code LORI. And you guys, one hope is spelled O N E H O P E w I n e.com Lori with the coupon code Lori.

So whether you have gifts to get or whether you just need to drink more because you're overwhelmed like us right now, that's a really good reason to go to OneHope.com Lori and use the coupon code as well. L O R I to get your $10 off.

So what else are you doing to help with your overwhelm? But that's like, this is a real hack though, you guys. So instead of thinking of a million different things that you need to get your friends and family, is there one thing right now that maybe does have even a coupon that you can do that just actually you can just kill all the birds with one stone.

Here's another thing I'm doing to really help with the overwhelm is I have not skipped my morning prayers and gratitude practice. That's the one thing that I have not cheated on and I have not skipped our morning walk. There's times we almost skipped it, but we have not skipped it. And the proof is real, you guys. Like, we left this morning upset and like we didn't want to go on it. And five miles today was a longer one. Five miles later, we were completely happy and completely empowered and completely ready to go and said, oh my God, we got to sit down and record a podcast about Overwhelm and that yes, we get it too. And yes, it's natural and yes, it's okay. And yes, sometimes no matter what we teach you about focus on the bright side and we're looking at what we don't have instead of what we have. We too fall victim to getting into looking at the wrong things. But you can stop it on a dime by doing a few of the right things. So Those are my two things. What about you?

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You know, I always just say, this is a. Life is a mind game. And, like, people who can, like, keep going while there's fires burning, people who can just kind of set aside that feeling that makes. That makes you want to stop, right? Because I will be. So my default is avoidance. Like, I will watch myself with a to do list that extends through spring of next year, and I will literally observe how I will want to, like, go and online shop or leave the house or, like, go get a coffee or, like, that's insanity. So my default is to want to avoid. And when I say that or when I notice that, I literally say things to myself like, you know, this is all just like, you know, a game of who has the strongest mindset. I literally say things like that to myself, like, okay, dive in. Go head first. Like, go head on. Like, what's the first thing you need to do right now to feel better? What is it? Is it your email? Like, what do you need to focus on to start moving this needle? But do not I do that to myself. I'm like, do not leave this house. Do not go on that website. Do not go on Instagram. Like, I have to get kind of tough with myself in a loving. In a loving way, but I have to observe. Like, you're doing it again. You're trying to avoid, and you're making it worse. So what do you need to do to support yourself now?

I've got one more thing that I've been doing to support us during this time of realizing, yes, we are overwhelmed. I've been saying no to good things. I want to make this really clear. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to say no to really good, shiny things. I said no to an incredible birthday trip that we could have gone on this weekend up to Napa knowing that we are overwhelmed. And that was just going to make me More overwhelmed. I've said no to an incredible holiday party coming up that I want to go to because I know that going is going to make fitting that in is going to make me feel overwhelmed. And I've been saying no to even great podcast guests that I had scheduled because something had to give. So I canceled them and pushed them off into the next year. Because sometimes your best choice is the lesser of two evils. And in this case, the lesser of two evils was pushing off. A really great guess that you were excited to do. And you even had fear around pushing off. So I've been exercising this no muscle because I have no choice to. And it's starting to relieve some of the overwhelm.

Yeah, we always talk about that, right? Like, what's your best, worst option? And if you can't breathe and you're not enjoying the moment, like, what needs to give. And sometimes if there's nothing to give, then you need to just say. You need to just focus on what you're grateful for and know that you're.

In a season without a doubt. So, guys, here's what I encourage you to do. Share this episode. Share Maybe one tip that you use for getting overwhelmed. Because the more good information that you can get out there into the world, the more collectively we're all going to breathe that sense of relief a little bit.

And also, if you guys do want to order from OneHopeWine.com, the cutoff date for Christmas, if you are sending gifts, is the 14th. So I know I'm going to be ordering my wine. So you can, if we're close to you, expect a glitter bottle.

That's what I'm getting you, babe.

You know they're my favorite.

No, you'd be so.

Because I put them on Instagram all the time.

So go check that out@1hope wine.com.

Coupon code.

Coupon code Lori L O R I.

All right, you guys, we're so grateful for you.

Like Chris said, we want to know your one point because you know that I share all of your stories when you share your favorite takeaways. So until next time, what Chris earn, you're happy.

And when good people, people make good money, they do great things. Bye. Appreciate you guys.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think.

Would love it, that would be absolutely.

Amazing and we would be forever grateful.

Also, please leave us a review.

Review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye bye.