64: Tap Into YOUR INNER BADASS with Jen Sincero

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Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear. Clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. Today I'm so excited to have one of my favorite authors on Jen Sincero. And I'm sure you've heard of her before. She wrote a book called you are a badass. And I know that I personally have benefited so much from her putting out her magic into the world through this book and so many other books that she has written. And she's working on a new book that I'm so excited about. So Jen is a New York Times best selling author. She's a speaker and success coach who has helped countless people transform their lives and personal lives. So she's done that through her public appearances, her coaching seminars, her online courses, and of course, like I said, her New York Times best selling book, you are a badass. It's all about how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life.

Life.

She's spoken on stages all over the world to everyone from entrepreneurs to multinational corporations to nonprofits to educational institutions. And I really just love everything about this woman because she shows up fully herself in every way on this interview and I cannot wait for you to listen in on this conversation. So let's get started. Jen, I'm so incredibly excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thanks for having me.

Okay, so I'm beyond thrilled to have you because I read your book when it very first came out and I literally probably drove my husband crazy because we read when we're in bed and he reads along with me. Not the same book obviously, but I was laughing and like just laughing out loud through majority of the book while I was learning some awesome lessons and just really felt like you were right there with me. So I know so many people feel that way and that I'm in bed with them.

That I'm in bed with them and they're partners.

Yes. So thank you for that. So thanks for that. So I know you way better than you think.

That's my next step. Good.

I love starting out weird. Okay, so I know so many people know you as the author of youf Are a Badass. But I would love for you to take us back on the journey before for the book and how it led up to it.

The journey was pretty much I was a successful writer. Successful in the sense that I'd been published and the books were doing okay, but I was broke as a joke and was freelance writing. And writing's great, but it wasn't everything to me. It's actually not my favorite thing in the world to do and I just knew that it was. There was so much more for me to be doing on planet Earth and especially so much more money for me to be making on planet Earth. After decades of struggling and getting the odd writing job here and there, I finally just really focused my energies on making money because it just wasn't happening for me. It's like anything else when you finally make the decision and place your focus on it as opposed to just half assing it and just praying something works out magically. It started, things really started to move. I started reading all these self help books about money and hiring life coaches. And this was back really before I had heard anything about life coaches. It was sort of when it was even more of the Wild west than it is now and just investing the money and the time and the energy on focusing on this thing. In that process, I did start to make money and I started coaching people. And you know, very long story, but that's sort of how badass happened, was me getting my own act together and then teaching other people how to get their act together and then realizing that there were no books out there that use curse words and that were funny, that taught people how to get their acts together and that's how badass happened.

I love that. And you know what? I went and watched your video all about your story and how you found self help and all of these different things. And I loved how you talked about at first you were like high fiving people and hugging people and how it felt totally corny. But a lot of times it's because. Because it's just opposite of what we're used to. So how did you get around that and really get into that world and allow yourself to be open to shift?

Because I was so focused on making money, I didn't care what I had to do. If it got ten hundred times cheesier than I thought it was. I would have done it because I had made the decision. So I think that's such an important piece. Whether it's too cheesy or too expensive or too embarrassing or whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable if it's going to change your life. So if you're not ready to get uncomfortable, it's not going to happen. So for me, the most uncomfortable things I did was show up at seminars where I felt like, what the hell am I doing here? And I spent a lot of money on getting coaching.

I love that. So you were just talking about how you really had to focus on getting your life together or focus on moving forward, letting go of old beliefs. What does that look like when you are deciding on what you should focus on? What did you have to let go of that was really, really challenging?

Well, first of all, a lot of beliefs about money and how disgusting it is to focus on it. And, you know, that makes me a big greedy pig. And letting go of what, you know, what people, especially my family thought of me. And focusing on the end goal. So that when the uncomfortable stuff came up and the fear came up, I was so, so focused on my goal that I kind of didn't care.

So how did you do that? Because I know that the second that I'll put something out in front of me where I'm like, yes, this is the goal. And I know looking at my life as I've changed and this is one of the biggest questions that I get from people is it's like right when you start going for a goal, right, you put it out there, you start shifting your life so that you're going to do all of these different things. Of course, it's from the people that are the closest to us that are always going to test us, or these big roadblocks are going to come. And like you said, it's your family. Family or you know, people saying things that are. Is tough to get over. What did you put in the forefront of your mind or what were some practices when those big roadblocks or people would say things about you would come up?

God, that's the most common question I get too, like, what do you do if your spouse doesn't believe in you or isn't into self development or, you know, you know, I didn't talk to them about it. I really didn't. Like, I, I didn't share a lot of the details. It wasn't like I never hung out with my mother again, but I, I just didn't tell her about it because she was so snarky about it. You know, I was snarky enough on my own, so it was like, I got plenty of that thing. Yeah, I just did. I. I just didn't fill them in on the details. And, you know, luckily, most people are really interested in talking about themselves anyway, so the fact that you're not contributing what you're doing does. It's really not that hard to do.

Okay, so what were some of the first steps in knowing that, you know, you're talking about that you were. You're on planet Earth for a bigger reason. And I. I truly believe that we all are, whether people feel like it or not. And I know that this is your belief, too. So what are some of the first steps or some of the first signs where you were like, wow, I think I need to do this for other people, or I really want to help shift other people?

You know, I don't know. That's an interesting question. Like, I feel like, you know what it was? It was. I started doing it, like, I think, like, the first person that I ever helped, like, it felt so right, and I realized I was good at it. And. And it was sort of that, like, just getting that rush from being of service to anybody, you know, was just like, wow, that was awesome, and I want to keep doing that. So this is also why I think it's so important to just start doing and not thinking things out too much, because we live in a visceral world where feeling runs the show. You know, our brains are great, but when you start to feel things, that's when you get off your butt, and that's when you stay with it, no matter how hard or scary it gets. So for me, I think it was just getting out in the world and sort of stumbling into coaching and then realizing that it was good and taking it from there.

I love that answer because I think so many people spend so much time planning. And I remember even when I first was, I was a personal trainer for a really long time, and before I personally trained, I obviously trained myself first on my own journey. And I remember I was so freaking scared to train someone else, and I didn't even realize it, but I was, like, asking friends in the beginning, okay, can I go train you? Can I go train you? And it was like, just to have the experience around that and to get that feeling, to really know what that is. It's like, I didn't have to have any master plan to go train my friends or to go train somebody Who I knew was desperate for free training. So I love that because it's those people, it's those experiences, right? Like we can. Who. Who needs help? Who needs help for free that you can just at least experience it. So I love that you said that because I think everybody's getting ready to get ready to have a plan to like, I don't.

Oh my gosh. I don't know. Yeah, you could spend your whole life, you could spend your whole life doing that. And some people do, you know, and that's when you know you get 15 college degrees and master's degrees. It's like, just do it already, you know, really?

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So what's the sign that you're planning too much?

That you're planning too much is that you're. That's. I guess it's different for everybody and everything, but I would say, you know, you know, you know. And if you're. If you're really getting in touch with your intuition and getting quiet, are you coming from fear or are you coming from a place of really needing no more stuff? Because I'll tell you, unless you're doing brain surgery or something where you really need to have your poop in a scoop, just get started. You know what I mean? I didn't have a coaching certificate when I started coaching. I just started. And I learned from my coaches. I hired tons of coaches, and that's how I was learning. And I learned through trial and error. So unless, you know, I really think that experience is the greatest teacher out there, My autobiography is going to be called no Experience Necessary, because I've just jumped in, you know, and taken the opportunity. And when you really. If you're going to sink or swim, there's no better motivator to get your act together and to learn while you're doing it.

Oh, my gosh. I, like, literally my whole body did a head nod. I was like, yes, because you do. You just know. That was the best possible answer. And it's like we get these soul hits of, like, you know, and then we cover it up with, you don't know enough.

Yes, totally. It's the. And the thing is, is it's such a justifiable procrastination tool. Education is so important or, you know, practicing and, you know, it's all good it's all good. I'm all for education, I'm all for practicing, I'm all for getting experience, but cannot. Like, the amount of time people hide underneath that wet blanket is crazy.

You know, it's nuts because when I think about it, when I was in that place of I don't know enough or I don't have enough education, or, you know, when I wanted to really start helping people with more mindset work, it was like, I'm really trying to think about what I was afraid of. I was afraid of that one random person who'd be like, what kind of education do you have in this? Instead of really looking at it was Tony Robbins who was like, I have a PhD in results, basically, is what he said with a lot of swear words around it.

And it.

To me, it was just such a mom of if you're able to help people get results, who cares about the people who are going to maybe poke at you, the off chances and if anything that's good for growth. Like, that's so good to be like, okay, do I need to learn more in this area that they're poking me, or am I good? Like, am I okay with myself?

Yeah, and you're not going to be perfect anyway, no matter how much education you get. And I think that's a really good point. Like, when you get started, that is one way to learn where you really do need to get more experience or education. But I think that a lot of the answers reveal themselves just by getting out there and doing it. So, yeah, I'm all for that.

Yes. It's seriously, the magic is in the doing. That's why I love that your whole book is just everything that you do is centered around that. Let's just take action already and learn as we go what has been. And I don't know if you have this in the top of your mind at all, but what's been some of your favorite lessons that's come out of the most disastrous failures of your life?

Well, you know, I really believe that for the big stuff, like the big, big, scary, thrilling stuff a lot of times I don't think every time. But man, I have had to walk through the valley of darkness to get there. You know, I believe and, you know, not every time, certainly, but there have been certain projects that I've been working on or just things that I've been trying to accomplish. And man, did the universe test me to see how badly I wanted it or to see how much faith I had in myself and how much belief I Had that it was available to me. And I, I do believe that that is the friction that helps us grow and that makes it all the better. You know, you walk through fire to reach your goal. You feel like such a damn superhero. You know, if it just lands in your lap, it's great. I mean, listen, I'll take land in my lap all day long, but when it doesn't, you have earned that, mother. So, yeah, I think that, and I think that that is such an important thing to remember because that's when so many people up and run away screaming when it gets hard, scary or whatever. And also you feel so alive. You know, like when you are taking out a $600,000 loan on a building or when you're just taking some giant crazy leap. You are so terrified. But it's a two sided coin. Terror and excitement and that's flying, that's living. That's just like every single cell of your body is wide awake.

Oh, okay. I love that because that is like the best description for exactly how I feel and how I remind myself when I'm in those moments. Because I always think about how I used to feel, right? I was always waiting to be busy and waiting for these people to come and waiting to have a chaotic schedule or waiting to feel alive and not depressed. And it's like to feel scared is actually a far better feeling to me because you feel alive, alert, and you're like on the edge and you need to be looking at different plans and figuring things out in comparison to where I was years ago, where I just felt lifeless and depressed and like I couldn't even peel myself off of the couch. Like I just remind myself, okay, this is what it feels like to be alive.

You're right.

And it's.

And I remember when I was like that too. I remember thinking like, I just, I want something to happen. I don't even care if it sucks. I just want to feel alive. Just lazing around and being so stuck in the quagmire is just so much more painful than the fear or whatever the walking through the darkness is like, because at least you're walking.

So I feel like people who maybe haven't been or who haven't really walked through the darkness, I feel like so many people get stuck in the middle of it and they run back to the beginning, right? It's like it's trying to tell people sometimes it lasts longer than you think, sometimes it's maybe worse than you think, or sometimes you don't even realize you're right in the middle of it or on the verge? Is there things that you help maybe with your coaching clients or that you say to people just to keep them focused on knowing that that's just another part of life? Or is there something that can, you know, help remind them that there is another side to it?

Yeah, I think this is where it's really important to get stay focused on the end result. Because if you start focusing and the terror, that's going to become bigger and more real. So if you can stay focused on the goal and stay focused on the excitement of it. You know, for me, it was like, I am so ready to not be broke anymore and to be out of debt and to be able to have freedom to do what I want with my life. And it was so important to me. And it was, you know, and believe me, it wasn't like I was 100% all the time. Just like I am gender and I am kicking ass. I waxed and waned all the time. But when I would be put up against something that scared the living crap out of me, I would focus everything on, okay, I'm doing this, I am doing this. I have decided this. I am doing this. And it was that feeling that went along with my goal that got me there. So I really think getting clear on where you feel it in your body, when you think about your goal, really getting viscerally connected to it. Tony Robbins does this great thing. You were just talking about him how he says his goal, but he pounds his chest while he says it so that you can anchor it in physically. And man, this is one of those things where it is like, well, that is totally cheesy. I would drop dead if anybody caught me doing that. But it is like, I don't care because if it is going to work, I am going to do it.

I have beat my chest many a.

Time dreaming in your car. Whatever it takes, it doesn't matter. But it really is a visceral connection to the excitement that will be the thing that gets you through.

I love that. It's being willing to do whatever you need to to step away from what was your old normal, like your old habits. Because that's not gonna get you anywhere. It's gonna end you up in the exact same place that you were. So I was kind of like, you like, same place, like, okay, this is crazy, but it's different than what. So it's gonna get me some sort of different result no matter what. So what are you most excited about in your life right now?

Finishing my book.

Okay.

In the middle.

You're in the middle. So what does that feel like?

It is epic. I mean, talk about walking through the valley of darkness. I mean, I'm also one of those people that puts I be in a frenzy of panic to write everything else in my life I'm pretty good about, but writing for some reason, I have to be so up against the deadline that I can't breathe or do anything else. And that's exactly where I am right now. So the book is due in a month and a half. And yeah, I'm just in it. I got the uniform on. I am not bathing regularly. I am just writing all day long. But it's exciting, you know, it's a topic I'm really psyched about. It's so fun to have a big awesome project. And yeah, it's a lot of things, but it's really exciting.

Girl, I so feel you. Because I am just about done with my book proposal and I kind of did it backwards. I like wrote the book and then decided to write the proposal.

Oh, smart.

But you never know what that's going to turn out to be. But it's all like, literally I am the exact same way. So that brings me up to the topic of we might as well talk about resistance because really, it's like having your back against the wall can sometimes be the best place to be because you get crap done in that place. But what does resistance feel like? And how do you make yourself besides the deadline? Because technically, yes, there's a deadline there, but you still don't have to do it. What are some things that you do to get into the habit of writing?

The thing that has really saved my ass is it down instead of literally. I've cleaned everything off my schedule with the odd thing here and there. But really it's pretty clear for the next month. That's Basically, I've got 12 to 14 hours a day to write and am I going to write 12 to 14 hours a day? No way in hell. But if I chunk it down, they say something like, people with eight hour work days, you end up working for May four of those hours and you spend the other four dicking around. When you chunk it down and you really focus your energy, I usually do 45 minute stretches where I will set an alarm and I'm unauthorized to get out of my chair, to go to the bathroom, to get something to eat, something to drink. I unplug the Internet and I have to sit there and write for 45 minutes. I know in my mind that I Get to stand up and do whatever I want when those 45 minutes are over. But it just, it focuses me. And believe me, I am squirming and like craving sugar. You know, all these things are coming up trying to like, pull me out. But because I'm so aware of the fact that this is the only way it's going to happen, I have to stay there. It helps me so much. It really does. And setting the alarm is really important because I will spend time looking, looking at the clock. You know, anything I can do to get out of there, I will. So that has been a huge, huge, huge help for me.

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Oh my God.

I. I am like right there with you. I'm not even kidding. So instead of just saying, saying like, okay, I'm gonna go get another cup of coffee because you know that this, this is like how we postpone writing over and over like, I need something else to drink. I need something else to drink. I was like, I need another cup of coffee. And I was like, but I don't just need coffee, I need to learn how to make bulletproof coffee right now.

Yeah. So five hours later. I know. Trust me, it's. It's ridiculous.

But I knew how to make bulletproof.

Coffee, so that's awesome.

I was like, sit your butt down and write. Are you kidding me? Like, don't bake a cake.

Go. Right. I know, I know.

But that's how it looks.

Yeah.

And it's weird.

It's like, I mean, I can trick myself so easily. It's kind of terrifying. But, you know, you know, there's nobody I could get up within those 45 minutes. But it's almost like, it's just. I know it's not about that particular 45 minute block. I know if I start screwing around with my chunking down process, I am 100% screwed and I'm going to have to give my advance back and my career will be over. You know, so I'm pretty clear about I can screw around up to a certain point. But this is the sort of holy grail rule of mine that when it comes to the chunking down, I take it so seriously. Yeah. And I think, you know, and I think if anybody out there wants to try it, try it with smaller increments first so that you don't, you know, do 15, 20 minutes, whatever. But, you know, and you got to push yourself. Like, I always find when I am the most squirmy, when I am just like, I cannot think of anything to write. I'm in physical pain. I know that if I sit there, it's like the 11th hour breakthrough. That's usually when my funniest stuff comes or the sentence that I've been trying to write comes. It's sort of like when you're journaling and you think you're done and you just push yourself for like two more pages. That's when the really good stuff happens because that's when you start digging more into the subconscious. It's almost like you shot your wad with your brain. You're like, okay, I'm done. I can't write anymore. But if you, you stick around, sometimes something else comes through that wasn't quite in the front of your head that's really magnificent.

And I can't even tell you, I'm sitting here thinking about how that truly applies to everything. You know, I have such a fitness background. And it's not. The magic doesn't happen when you're like, Yeah, I did 30 minutes.

Cool.

Knowing that you have something left. It's like using that last little bit up that I I'll like, have some sort of crazy teared up breakdown where I'm like, yes, oh my God, what if I would have given up earlier? Or when you're running a race or when you're anything, I mean, anything, it comes in those last moments where you think you're good, but you could push a little bit more. Like, what do you have left? Like, that is where totally full growth is. I love that. So how do people, and especially I work with so many women, and I find that they either come from backgrounds where they. For some reason, whatever it was, whether it was religious or family or whatever, maybe they felt like they had to be quiet or humble or something made them stop chasing after their dreams. And I find that this is like, there's this pattern of apologizing for our goals or apologizing for wanting more or being bigger or whatever that is.

What.

What do you have to say about that?

Oh, Lord. I really. I mean, I feel like we should get shocked every time we say I'm sorry. Women, seriously, guys, just take a breath every time you're about to apologize. And I mean, certainly we owe people apologies every once in a while, that is for sure. But it's like, it's like probably the most common phrase in our vocabulary. You know, it's such a snore. So I think becoming conscious of it, first of all, is always the key to everything. So really becoming aware that you are not available to be apologizing your way through life with your words and with your actions. But because it's so ingrained in us and, you know, really from day one, we are taught that that's how you're feminine and that that's how you know we are supposed to be. Whether or not you believe it in your conscious mind, that has sort of been pounded into us. So I think it's really important to become conscious of your thoughts and beliefs and your actions around that. And it's an exciting. It's fun. It's like life is just this big ridiculous game, right? And we're just here to get over shit. That's what we're doing. That's really our. That's what we're doing. Can I say the S word on your show, by the way? Sorry, I just flew out. Okay, good. Anyway, so when you see it more as this exciting thing, that is not only going to be a cool test of how good you are at catching yourself on things, but also is going to massively change your life. All the work that you do, facing your fears, taking great Brave leaps into the unknown. All this stuff, it's really a game. And when you make it fun, then it's not work and it's not hard and insurmountable and all that stuff. I think, first of all, having a lighter attitude about it, but hang out with women who don't do it. Read. Read books by women who don't do it. You know, really hang. Get some role models going. Because then you feel silly if you're apologizing.

Oh, my God. I went to this. I was at a personal development event, and I had this woman that I was, like, always in a group with, and it was driving me crazy because I was one of those apologizing people. And just. I didn't even realize I was saying. And every time I would say, oh, I'm sorry, or whatever, she'd go, don't be sorry. Be you.

And I.

Like, she said this so many times to me that I literally just started getting annoyed. Like, if I apologize one more time and have to hear this, like, it.

Must be so annoying.

So if you're listening, thanks for that. I really.

Thanks for the cheesy reminder.

But still, like, it worked. I'm not kidding you. I was like, I'm never apologizing again because I just can't even handle this.

That's hilarious. I know. Yeah.

So it worked. Okay, So I love how much you talk about just gratitude throughout, you know, your book, your website, just different. Whenever I hear you speak in different ways. Is there something that you practice around gratitude? Do you have a gratitude practice when you first wake up? Or is this something that was just. How did you make it ingrained in you?

Well, I. You know, again, not perfect by any means, but I feel so grateful. Just, I can't. I mean, really, there is so much good to be grateful for. You know, again, it's just really where you place your focus. I could spend my whole day complaining about stuff easily. I could find that. Or I could focus on the stuff that's awesome that I'm creating that's already been created. I just really. It's like a choice. And so it's sort of like the whole I'm sorry thing. Just make the decision that you're going to. When you start to hear yourself complain about something, be like, you know what? How could I look at something positive about this situation or this person? It really is just about making a decision. A lot of people talk about keeping a gratitude journal where you wake up in the morning and you write down 10 things you're grateful for. And you write down 10 things at night. I think that's awesome. I personally, personally hate journaling. Even though I preach about it all the time. It's not my thing. I hear you, but that works really, really well for a lot of people. But again, I really think it's just a damn decision like everything else.

Okay, so talking about decision. So I'm bringing up what is my deal with Tony Robbins today? Okay, we're bringing him up again.

He's awesome.

He's got good stuff, man. So he talks about burning the boats. Like in order to take the island, you have to burn the boats. Just a quote that he always says. And I love that because it means if you're gonna, if you're gonna do this, you have to just rule out every other option. And I find that so many people subconsciously leave that window cracked. I know that I have like, yeah, I'm gonna do this, but here's my out if I can't do it. So how do we close the window? How do we burn the boats? Like what does it actually feel like? Or do you have a practice around being like, this is it sister. Like you gotta do it.

Okay, so this is actually why I haven't written another novel. Because when you write a nonfiction book, you sign a contract with grownups who give you money. And so for me, that is a burning. Like there's no way out. People are expecting this. They've given me money and I have to do it. So I think getting into contracts is great. I think, I mean, and sometimes when I notice in that position, I've made bets with people where I'll be like, listen, I will give you. It's a one way bet. I put down the terms, I'm like, I'll give you $2,000 if I don't have this done by the end of the month. And it has to be somebody who's going to hold it to hold you to it. And also again, connecting to that decision and getting a mantra down or something. Putting post it notes of affirmations all over your house. Super duper cheesy. Totally works. So it's like just keep reminding yourself of why you are doing it, why you are doing it. Stay focused on what's in front of you as opposed to what's behind you. So you just keep focusing on that and you keep your energy going. Listening to really rockin loud music Helps me is probably my greatest personal motivational tool. I know in the exercise world that's a really big one too. But, but putting things in place that get you really psyched. Music, talking to people like friends of mine who are kicking ass, who inspire me, reading biographies of people that are inspiring. Whatever inspires me, have it around everywhere and be specific about it. I think the biggest problem. I know the biggest problem when we're trying to make massive change in our lives is we don't get specific. So specifics are truly the key to freedom. You can want to lose weight, but until you have an amount of weight that you're going to use, And same goes with keeping yourself inspired and keeping that decision strong, don't just assume you're going to stay inspired. But specific things get you inspired. And can you set yourself up for success with those instead of just sort of vaguely hoping you're gonna stay psyched?

Wow. You just actually reminded me of my burn. I was like, what if I had a burn the boats moment? Like, and, yeah, contracts, events, dates, like, putting money is a huge one. Coaching huge. You don't want to let your coach down. And I'm telling you, sometimes the more you spend, the better.

Totally.

I was like, whoa, if it feels like a stretch, that's probably good. If you're comfortable and you don't mind losing that money, you're probably not going to take as much action. I know for me, like, when I wanted to do a big event, like, I'd never done an event, you know, a mindset event before, and I was like, okay, how many people would I like? Okay, 200. Yeah, that sounds great. Let's put the money down. Whoa.

Everything changes, right?

Oh, my. There was no way out. I mean, I even. I spent many days crying, like, what did I do? But there's no way out. Like, you have to only look forward. Otherwise you will, like you said, if you focus on fear, that's the only thing that grows. So you have no choice, especially if you're locked in. So those are some awesome options for getting locked in. So I told people that I would absolutely ask some of the questions that they wrote down. But actually, first. First, before we get to that, I do want to ask if you have anything right now that you are dreading or fearing and how you're getting through it.

Again. It really is. Since my whole life is my book right now, it's about, you know, and also, badass is now number one on the New York Times list, which is so exciting. But. Yes, but it's like, you know, the terror of how the hell am I going to pull that rabbit out of the hat again? You know? So there's definitely like, can it be as funny and as helpful and all that stuff? So it is, you know, the dear old fraud complex. Never really. So it's like, yeah, you know, I'm this successful author. I'm an accessible coach, but I certainly have days where I'm like, who the hell am I? How did I pull such a fast spot on everybody? You know, it's certainly. Sometimes I think I'm, you know, the gift of the world to coaching and writing, and then sometimes I think I'm a big piece of poo. So that really is the main, main thing right now is the book.

Oh, man. Well, I can tell you it's just. Just talking to you. It's just in you. So if you just recorded conversation.

You know what I mean?

It's just in you. It's just who you are. So it's just another moment in time of who you are on paper. So I don't know, just being able to talk to you, I'm like, oh, this. It literally is just who you are showing up as in life. So just write down whatever you're thinking.

Okay, got it. Easy.

Okay, great.

Solved.

All right, so we'll get to their questions. So let's see. One of them was, what's the quickest way that you step into your badass when it's needed?

I don't know. How do I get my confidence up?

Yeah, I'm guessing that's what that is. Okay.

Yeah. Again, music. And you know what's a really cool trick is standing up straight. Like you're the fitness guru, but physically, you're so easily fooled. So when you stand up straight and you hold your head up and you put your chest out, you are acting. That's what you do naturally when you're confident. So watching your posture and sort of adopting a posture of confidence helps you actually be confident. It's such a shortcut. It's an easy one. Sometimes I'll read some stuff that I think is really good. I do that a lot now. Just. Just when I'm having those dark moments, I'm like, oh, yeah, I can write. So I have stuff that I've already done nearby. Talk to people who love you and think you're brilliant to have them on speed dial so that you can start seeing yourself through their eyes and remember they truly who you are. So all those things are very helpful.

Love that. All right, so what are some of your favorite books?

Oh, my gosh, so many. Well, so the book I'm writing right now is you are a badass at making money. So I have been reading a lot of my favorite wealth consciousness books, which were the impetus for. You are badass. The original one as well, because my big turnaround came around money. So I love the Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles. Think and Go Rich by Napoleon Hill. I mean, both of these are written in, like, the 1800s and they write about building the railroad, but it still totally works. I love Byron. Katie. Loving. What is awesome, awesome book for relationships and just not focusing on just being happy. Basically, the Dark side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. Deborah Ford. Awesome book about embracing your dark side because we've all got both. Oh, my God. I know. I'm forgetting, like, I love Louise Hay. You can change your life. So many. I can't think of them all.

That is a good. Those are amazing starts. And I love that you said that you kind of started with getting over how you felt about money or changing your mindset around money. Because that's totally where I started to. What is it? Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. Have you read that one?

Yeah, I've read them all.

Oh, my gosh. Like, shouting out loud like, I have a millionaire. I was like, shouting. It changed everything for me, though. Like, everything. So I love that. Okay, what is some of the favorite things? What are some of your favorite things about being you?

Ah, what a nice question. Well, when I love that I can write, even though, as we said, sometimes I'm not so aware of it. But I do love that I've found my writing voice. That does sound like my real voice. I love being tall. I'm 6:1 and, you know, I was 6:1 when I was 12, so it took a while to love it, but I love it now. I love that I travel a lot. I love that I help people. I love that I've really figured out what makes me happy and I've allowed myself to have it. It.

I love those things about you. And because you love those things about you, literally, other people can learn to love those things about them, too. It's so incredibly awesome. We all love ourselves. Okay. All right. So what do you think are some of the possible missing keys to creating lasting change?

The missing keys to creating lasting change that no one has discovered yet?

I think that most people, when most people kind of go out to reach their goals, but they're forgetting some massive pieces of the puzzle perhaps, so they end up going back to the beginning or back to what's familiar.

Right. I think it is understanding that Fear is not a roadblock, but it's actually a compass. So if you're scared, you go towards it and not run screaming away from it because usually that's around getting uncomfortable. We're scared of the unknown. We're scared of stuff that's uncomfortable. So don't use fear and don't use failure as reasons to stop. They are growth tools and signs that you're on the right track. Patience. Oh my God. Patience. Such a big one. Just stay the course, man. If you feel it in your gut and you know that's for you, if it's not happening overnight, you just stay the course. That is such a. I mean, you know, it's like when you're working out, like how long, how many hours do you work out a day? Like, you have to have patience for that. You know, you just keep going, keep going and that's what builds your muscles. What else? Lasting change. Staying connected to the feeling and the excitement. Yes.

Oh, my gosh, yes. So what are you most excited about with your new book right now? And where can we get it? Where can we pre order it?

If you go to my website, jensincero.com you can also get there by going to you are a badass dot com. And you will see it in all of its bright green glory plastered all over my website.

I can't tell you how excited I am for it because I think it's one of the biggest things that, you know, people can have a goal. They can, they can even have a body goal. They can have a, A goal, a relationship goal. And so much of it comes down to it's all related. Right? It's all related. So if we have a terrible mindset around money, we might hold something against someone with relationships, we might hold something against getting started on our goals because we don't think we're worthy of whatever income is needed to do that. I mean, it is like the sp. So.

Oh yeah.

I am so grateful that you are coming out with that book. And especially, you know that it's, it's being written in your voice because I think it just, it almost needs to be. It needs to be lightened up. Like it just, it's just such a. It can be such a heavy topic for people. I come from the Midwest, so let me tell you, money, it's. There's a whole lot of everything tied to it. So. Oh yeah, living out in California is totally different. But that's a whole different idea around money.

Totally, totally.

So I've seen both extremes and it's really interesting. So. But I feel like when you get really a really healthy mindset around money, it's insane what happens. So I hope that everyone goes out and grabs this book because I can tell you, if you can wrap your brain around that and really get to have a good mindset with it, it really does change everything from top to bottom in your life. So I just want to say thank you to you and is there any last thing that you want us to know about your book or about anything that we didn't cover?

Oh, gosh, I don't think so. It was a great interview. It was really, really fun. No, just keep listening to this show, keep doing the work, keep hanging out with people who are kicking butt. You get one shot at this life and don't wait.

Oh, my gosh, woman. Well, you have rocked my world, and I always close with one question, but I just really want to acknowledge you and say how grateful I am that you just followed through, went through all the resistance to do what you're doing, because you have literally affected so many people's lives that I love. Especially you've affected my life. So I just want to acknowledge you and say thank you for that.

Thank you.

All right, so you ready? It'll be an easy question for you. Okay, so you're in an elevator and you have like a 30 second ride with someone and they look over at you and they say, how can I make myself happy? What's your quick answer?

This is not easy.

I might have lied just a little.

Okay, shut up, slow down, listen to yourself and keep taking the next right step. That feels good.

So perfect. Thank you so much. And you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it, tweet it, let somebody know who needs it, and until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.