644. Bossbabe Mentality for the Win - with Danielle Canty

When I'm doing any collaborations, whether it's working with Natalie, working with the team, working with somebody out the team, like really just understanding like those expectations and being bold enough to have those right from the off and setting boundaries.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Oh man. You guys, if you love Boss Babes and you resonate with anything Boss Babe like I do, you are going to love my next guest. So Danielle Canty has a passion in business strategy and female leadership. She's the co creator of Boss Babe, specializing in the brand's operation and growth strategy. After starting her first business at 22, Danielle has gone on to become a serial international seven figure entrepreneur and is the COO and President at Boss Babe. As a trained business coach and a director of chiropractic, Danielle's passion lies in high performance, business strategy and operational scalability. Coupled with her understanding that success is more than just business skills, but encompasses personal development, facing challenges head on and striving for the best version of yourself. Danielle's impact is clearly seen in Boss Babe's mission and philosophy. She's based in Los Angeles. She co hosts the Boss Babe podcast with Natalie, where the two share candid conversations and interview aspirational leaders across an array of industries. You guys, I can definitely say that this woman has helped me in my business and in my life and is a true strategist. And especially if you are more of a creative at all, this is going to be a conversation that you want to listen to. Let's get started. Danielle, I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you so much for having me on here. I'm so excited.

I've missed you. I feel like we got to chat a bunch and talk and be in each other's company and then all of a sudden I was like, oh my God, we need to hang out. And now I live in Arizona and you live in California. But you guys, I'm trying. I'm literally becoming an Arizona recruiter.

I know. I feel like one minute you were here and the next minute you were gone. I'm like, hang on, she's moved six states and we had this conversation. You're like, yeah, we're thinking about going, but I probably won't. I say, I'll go and I won't. And then next minute. And the worst thing was, I think I found out via Instagram, I'm like, laurie, is this true? You did not run this by me.

Oh, my God.

Social dates.

It was kind of like that. It was just. You know what's so weird is there was definitely a part of me that, like, didn't want to tell people I was leaving because I was afraid that then I would, like, fall out of their social circle. It's a real thing.

Try and persuade you otherwise. Well, I know I left the uk, right. And then it's really hard to stay in people's social circles.

Yeah.

Particularly when you're not allowed to fly home either.

Oh, my God, totally. Like, for me, it's still so easy to, like, drive to LA or take a 45 minute flight, which is so funny. I'm going back, like, on December 3rd already. I'm like, oh, I can't even leave.

Do you know what's really funny is like, being from the uk, my ratios of distances are so different to yours in the US because you guys are like, oh, it's so close. It's only a 45 minute flight or a five hour drive. And if anyone's listening from the UK, they'll totally get this. I'm like, five hour drive. I would not drive somewhere for five hours. If I'm doing that, I'm going for a week's vacation or something. Totally. Just our relationship to distances is very, very different. I think I'm driving a long way if I'm driving 30 minutes for food.

Oh, my God. It's so true. Because when I first went to, it was like, they're like, okay, well, today we're gonna go to this country and tomorrow we're gonna go to this country. And I, like, couldn't understand how we were gonna, like, hop, you know, countries, because it's like two hours away or.

It'S right over here.

And it was just the weirdest thing to me. So I totally get it. It's just like completely, completely different. So, you guys, I'm so excited because Danielle is one half of boss babe, which, I don't know, I really don't know anybody who hasn't heard or followed of you guys. So I'm super excited to chat with you today because I think there's so many layers, like, so many fun layers behind this business that of course you guys do a really great job of showing that. But I think it's so much fun when you can really get behind the scenes to know. And there's never been a time where I have not heard you or Natalie talk where my mind is just like blown because of the way that you both think. And I'm guessing because of the magical energy that you guys both create when you're together. And I'm finding so much of that too. Like with girlfriends and collaboration. Like, I think that we open another door, you know, to our own like, inner, you know, creativity when we are with another person. What do you think of that? Like, what happens when the two of you get together and create ideas? Like, what is it? And how do you create this magic formula of, you know, really being able to dive in together and create things together?

I think it was like Napoleon Hill who says something along the lines of like, when two minds come together, they create a third mind that neither could achieve without the other. And I think this is really, really like how my and Natsu's relationship has developed. Like, I really don't think that Boss Baby would be where it would be today without either one of us because we just. It's not like one person has this and one person this. It's like what happens when we come together. And I see that in so many masc that I've been a part of or other collaborations that I do. And I think there's just something so magical about how ideas are born from conversations and collaboration. And one of the kind of sayings or quotes that we've always utilized and really leant on in Boss Babe is we believe in collaboration over competition. And it really does come back to the reasons of like one, we really feel an abundance, but also the fact that we know we can create so much more with other people because we've actually experienced that us. And when you kind of bring those minds together that are open and they're willing to put everything on the table and there's no fear around bringing ideas and it's just around like a backwards and forwards and a toing and throwing, it's like, oh, where can we get to bringing these minds together? There's something just really, really special about that. And I feel like, so blessed to have that relationship not only with Natalie. But so many other people that I get to work alongside with our team, with people like you, Laurie. And I just think that's something really, really magical about being an entrepreneur while working in businesses where you have that open mindset where you can come and give ideas and just bounce, Bounce off each other. That's what I thrive on.

Oh, my God. Same.

I.

So I had never heard that exact quote, but I literally could not. I've tried to put it into my own words, and it's always along that same path that it's like you literally access something that you would never have access to together. And it's so outside of both of you, you yet it's like, in both of you. It's crazy.

It's crazy.

I was like, yeah, you pull it.

Out of each other in a way, and it's kind of like, oh, yeah, I had that idea. You said that. And it sparked something here. And now I'm remembering this thing and actually now I can see these dots starting to join that I hadn't really noticed before. And for me, that's like one of the best things about having a business partner or, like, say, having these collaborations, because I almost feel like it brings the better version out of myself. I'm definitely somebody who likes to bounce ideas. I can do a lot of ideas on my own, but they really come in when I'm testing them and hearing other people's and able to kind of start joining dots that perhaps in my own mind. And then you kind of get this one bit saying, well, actually, that kind of roadmaps here. And yeah, it's powerful.

It's literally my favorite. It's probably one of my favorite feelings in the world is when that vortex all of a sudden opens up and you're just playing and dancing and throwing stupid ideas around that turn into brilliant ideas. I kind of view it as we all have, like, these lock boxes inside of us and other people hold the keys. Like, all of a sudden they like, turn your lockbox and you're like, oh, that was in me. But I didn't have the keys. You helped me unlock it. And it's just the craziest thought that we are meant to do this, right? Like, that's what your. That's what your whole brand is about is like, yes, you know, be a boss, be a babe. Be a boss, babe. But, like, how are we going to do this in a collaborative way? Like, how can you do this together? How can you bring other people into your vision? Into definitely. It's like your vision Just grows and gets exponentially better, whether you have a business partner or whether it's just collaborating with other people and bringing other women or people into that vision. So I want to know from the beginning, though, because I think sometimes with women, maybe we look at the boss babe page or we look at you guys out in the world, and I think that people think that all of a sudden it was just like, oh, my God, we're going to create this business and this is what it looks like. And maybe right away it was just this idea, and I want to kind of know how that unfold molded into what it is now.

Yeah, I love this. And it's. My. My story is not so well known as Natalie, so it's really nice to kind of share it because, you know, Natalie was like the born entrepreneur, which I know lots of listeners are going to really relate to. And the other part of my story is actually I wasn't a born entrepreneur, which I also know people will equally relate to. Like, I didn't grow up, you know, selling sweets on the corner. Like, I grew up thinking, right, I've got to work hard at school and I've got to get a job and I'm going to work with somebody that I'm going to buy a house and I'm going to get married and I'm going to 2.4 children, which is kind of like the very stereotype, stereotypical British upbringing. Right? And that's what I really thought was mapped out for me. Like, I grew up in a very average UK home. I didn't grow up wealthy or anything like that, equally didn't grow up poor. I just had a very average upbringing. And. But I had these ideals in my head of what was going to happen on that. And so for me, that journey was very much like, first of all began when I decided, like, my core, fundamental, core value at that point was really helping people. And so when you're at career day, what do you want to be when you grow up? And I was like a chiropractor. And I decided, because I had met a chiropractor who absolutely loved his job, he was really passionate and he was helping people. And I decided this is what I wanted to go into. So I worked really hard at school to be able to do that. And off I went to university. And when I graduated, there's only two places that you could do it in the uk. But what happened when I graduated was that I started getting exposed because I moved away from home, I was meeting new people, and I started Getting exposed to different thoughts and different thought patterns. And I share this just because the conversation that we've just had around what happens when you meet people who have a different mindset or a different thought process to you, it actually starts bringing out a different side to you. And that's what happened to me. I started realizing that, oh, actually I'm pretty ambitious. Naturally I would like to have my own company. And all these things started like being sparked off. Like I've always been really, really ambitious. Like, I always knew that I was like, wanted to be the best at things and I wanted to like really work hard and I wanted to have a good living. But when I graduated and met certain people who actually started to start to get exposed to entrepreneurship, I was like, wow, this is amazing. So through my journey as a chiropractor, I actually became the youngest shareholder, one of the fastest growing primary healthcare brands in the uk because I worked up a ladder and there was an opportunity came for me and I actually, and I just want to call this out because I think this is one thing that a lot of people don't do. I said to them, I want to invest in this business, I want to buy this business. And I was just very much like, I want to do this. And then at the beginning they were like, no. But then I proved my worth and we had more conversations and it developed like that. But ultimately, so I was on this career trajectory as a chiropractor and being a shareholder in these businesses and that was really going great. Until 2016.

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So 2016, I was like, you know, really like starting to have good finances. I was earning great money, but I was ultimately trading a lot of time for money. Even though I owned the business, I was very much working in it. I really couldn't step away because of my chiropractic pieces. And in 2016 I went on a skiing holiday with my family. My dad actually had a really bad accident. So we were skiing down a really straight run and a really easy run and he was just in front of me. But you know what families can be like, we can get a little bit competitive. And we had this app called to ski Strats Facts that we always used to monitor our speed up. And we were all going really, really fast. And in the shadow of the mountain, my dad didn't see a lump of snow. And so when he hit it, he lost his balance and he actually crashed out. I say 70 mile an hour, but the boys will tell him. And I say, boys. I mean, my husband and my brother will be. It was only 68.9.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, he. He landed at that speed and fractured his pelvis. So he fractured his pelvis all the way up, helicoptered off, flown to two hospitals, had to have surgery. Pins was not allowed to sit up three months, was told that he might not ever ski again. All these pieces, which was just, you know, you can imagine, like, what was going through our heads at that point. I'd lived my life up to that point feeling like time was forever. I got so much of it, so much time to do the things that I wanted to do. And in that moment, I really realized that I. Along the journey, although I've got financial freedom, I didn't actually have freedom. And I realized that that was a core value of mine that I had been neglecting for so long. And so when I had to fly home the day my dad was having surgery because I needed to be back in the office and I needed to be back in clinic, it was just this gut wrenching, like, wow, I don't own my life. My life owns me, and I don't want that anymore. And so that sent me on. And I use the analogy of being on a treadmill. I'd almost put myself on this treadmill, but I wasn't really aware that I was on. And I was just going. And I was just like, yeah, I'm on this setting. And it just started making me question, why am I here? Where am I going? What do I want to be going? And this is really the run that I want to be, the race that I want to be running. And so I came back from that holiday. I'm not saying it happened instantly, but that year I really started to start asking myself, well, what do I want to achieve? And this is what I talk about a lot with our boss, babe stuff, is that when you're. We help women grow businesses or work at their career, you really need to ask yourself, like, sometimes you have these values, but they conflict with each other. So there's no point growing a business if actually one of your Core values is time with your family. Right. So if you want to and not growing business, but if you want to grow like a business where you're raising, it's really fast paced and you want to be exiting in five years, but your core value is time with family, then they're going to conflict. And so that's what I realized I have is that as a person you have multiple values. And so two of my core values or three of them started like clashing. So one of my core values that already shared was like helping people. Another one was growth and another one was like financial wealth. And then my fourth one was freedom. So what I started having was that these values started conflicting with each other because I started having like the growth was there and the finance was there, but I wasn't actually getting the freedom that I desired. And later in those years, actually that followed, I also started having the growth challenge because I started hitting a ceiling. And that was another reason why I ended up moving into Boss Babe. But I'm sharing this because I always think it's really important that people analyze where they're at, how they got there and where they're going, which I don't think a lot of people. People do along the path. So going back to the story, like I said, I realized that actually, well, hang on a minute. These values are impacting each other, so what do I need to change to get full alignment on these values? And so I started looking at online businesses. I realized that one of the key challenges for me was that I was in a set place at set time every single day, living my life in 15 minute appointments. And it was just, just eating up my soul. I didn't feel like I had that freedom. And so I started looking at online businesses and via a coach that I missed at the time to help me through this process. I ended up flying to Brendon Burchard's San Diego event in 2017, which is crazy now because I call him a friend, which is just a whole other mind blowing story. But I actually flew out there and chance would have it habit that Natalie was also invited by the same person and we met there and we just hit it off. And then down the line, that's when Boss babe was kind of born and evolved.

So I so much to say about that because number one, with the core values, it's so crazy how we don't ask ourselves those very most important life questions so often because we get really caught up in like, well, she's doing it and that looks good or yeah, or, you know, I want the outcome of that. And yeah, I think I could do this or whatever that is and, or everyone else is doing this and this works. And it's like, like, man, if you don't get aligned with what's important to you and what actually lights you up, like, you will never, you'll never complete the projects that you want to complete because you will lose energy. Right. Like, you have to make sure, like, if you follow your core values, you're also going to ensure that you stay excited about the project. Like, I'm sure that you felt okay. So let's go back to the, you know, when you were realizing that you were trading time for money and you were kind of like, wow, that this actually really is not maybe the way that my life is supposed to be set up. Where was your energy level at compared to where it is now in your life?

I would describe it as like swimming up, like swimming upstream. I think I've always had a lot of energy, but nowhere near as much as what I have now. So I was always like swimming upstream and that energy would get me so far, but it was also like a push and it was like, you keep going, you keep going. And I was always going against certain currents. Whereas now I feel like I swim with the flow. And so my energy is almost like exaggerated because I've got the flow behind me where I'm in alignment and I know this aligns with all my values and I feel that. And then it becomes, I don't work. I don't work. That's where I get to with a lot of my things. Yeah, there's some mundane pieces that I don't like doing. And those tasks, they do feel like work. But generally on a day to day, I don't feel like what I do is work because it's aligned with me. And if you said to me, danielle, I'm giving you 100 million, I'm not going to leave boss baby. Like, I'm not. Do you know what I mean? If you're like, you've won the lottery, here's 100 million, what are you going to do tomorrow? For me, my answer would never be, oh, I'm going to pack up and leave. And some people, if they're out of alignment, will just think, I'm called ball BS on this, absolutely lying. But those who are in flow and really understand what I'm saying, they're in line with their core values would be like, yeah, I feel the same. I would still be doing this. Maybe you wouldn't be doing as many hours and maybe you would hire a few more assistance along the way or house help or whatever that looks like. But I would still be doing what I'm doing because it's like in my heart and it's in my core right now. This is what I'm so passionate about and purposeful and fully full alignment with. So for me I feel like that's when your energy has longevity. It has you see things fall into place much quicker and it's almost just an abundance. It doesn't feel like I need to have a ton of of breaks to be able to get up every single day, you know.

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And it's.

It's like, what am I supposed to do then? Like, who am I supposed to be in this world? And. And that's when you know. And it doesn't get there right away. Right? Like, sometimes you have so many chapters beforehand, and some people wake up and they're 60 when they finally realize it. Some people are 30. You know, it's. It's such a range. And I think it is also all, like, tied together with this golden thread that a lot of times you can't tell why you're a chiropractor, right? Or you can't tell why I'm a personal trainer. And then connecting the dots, looking backwards, like that quote, it's like, oh, I can see why it started with this foundation, and I can see why that's so important. So. All right. I love that so much. So I want to know, you know, in your relationship also, all of a sudden, you guys, you. You meet at this event, you hit it off. You probably start talking about what. What this could be. But now you have, like, this place of understanding your roles. Did you unders. Even understand who you were and what you were good at within this new digital world? Like, what your role was like? You guys, this is, like, from starting, you know, from where people are maybe who haven't started yet. Like, that's how it had to feel. And I know that some people might say, oh, it's easier with someone. I. I will also challenge the other way and say it can be more challenging because you're adding a layer of relationship and, like, give and take, where sometimes as just a single CEO, you can hire all these things out that you're not good at. And I know that with relationships, like, sometimes you guys probably had to give up things that you really wanted to do, but they were better at or whatever that looks like. So I want to know, like, here we are. We just met. We're at the beginning of, like, what the hell am I supposed to do? What are you supposed to do? And what did that dance look like? How did you keep it clean?

There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.

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It it oh I love I actually really like talking about this because, like, I think it's actually a conversation that's not had enough. Like we talk a lot about relationships, husband and wife, wife wife, husband and husband, like, and what those dynamics look like, but there's less emphasis on like how to really nurture a business partners partner relationship. So I want to, I want to come back to like the, in like the bits that we've done and we've worked on. But, but prior to that, like you say, I was a chiropractor at that point. Coming to online business. Natalie's always been online. She had a product based business before she was already in this world that I was just really entering to. And she was the one who had the idea initially for the society which would go on to be our membership for female entrepreneurs to connect, build and grow. And so essentially we didn't decide to go into business together at that San Diego event. What happened was we built a friendship there. We were the geeks there, so we were not missing anything. We went to every single one. Everyone else went on the town one night we were like, no, we want to get up early. We were there every single morning waiting for it to open. So we bonded. And when I went home, she just messaged me and she's like, I'm really thinking about this idea for something called the membership. I feel like entrepreneurs are lonely. And I was like, yeah, I feel lonely. Like, I feel lonely. I feel like, you know, some of my friends who aren't entrepreneurs, we don't get this side of me. And I was like feeling that even my husband at that point really didn't get where this ambition was coming from, where I was driving to. And he was like, I can't have these conversations with you.

Like, find someone else, girl.

Why are you not happy? Why are you not content? Like these kind of types of things.

Does that make you happy? You're like.

There'S more here. So like I started just like, like, so Natalie just sent it me and I was like, yeah, I totally relate to this. And one night, it was a Friday night and you know, just watching, telling you, and I was just on my laptop and I was like, I'm just going to start searching for stuff. And out of just not any intention, I was just like, hey, Natalie, I really, I've been thinking about your idea. I think that's great. I also thought you might really, really appreciate this information. I just sent her a ton of research and I was like, this is where the market's going. Like, I also think these are good points that like research is showing. And then we just was like, yeah, let's take it backwards and forwards. And we ended up on a call like, hey, you like this bit? I like this bit. Should we do this together? Right? So on the surface we're already Starting to get a little bit of like, okay, this is your role, this is mine. But we already started to kind of fall into that a little bit naturally. But then as we developed and we started flushing things out, Natalie was full time in it right away. But I obviously have my businesses. I was doing chiropractic. And also, like, when everyone knows when you start business off the ground, it's not necessarily going to make you any revenue right away. So we always prioritize right from the off, making sure Natalie was going to get paid. So she would do a lot of the building. She was so tech savvy. I remember her building websites and all these pieces. And then I was more in charge of the curriculum bit, the customer service bit. So you're kind of asking me, how did we decide who did what? And I feel like we started just kind of like falling into things. Like, she'd be like, oh, I'm doing these bits. And I'm like, oh, well, these bits need doing. I'm just going to go and take these bits and sort of these pieces out. And that's really like how our relationship was initially. It was always been like, okay, it wasn't like there was any ego conversation of, oh, you do this. I don't want to do that. It was just more like, I'll do this. Oh, okay. Well, I can see these bits over here doing like, okay, well, there's this bit in the middle. Who's got the most capacity right now? Okay, I'll take that one or you take that. And it was just like a really evolution. And then as we've gone on and as I obviously became full time in Boss Babe and all these pieces, I have to say we've done so much work in really understanding what we are good at. And a really good exercise, which I do over and over again. And I actually just did it the other week. We call it elevates and delegates, but split a piece of paper into four. And we do this with our teams as well. And you write on there in the top left corner what you love and what you're good at. On the right top corner, it's like what you like and you're good at. And the bottom left corner is what you don't like but you're good at. And the bottom right is what you don't like and you're not good at to really start understanding. And I feel like having those conversations with not just the person that you're working with and your employees or your employer, whatever that looks like, but actually Having with yourself is really, really important because quite often you don't really ask yourself, what do I actually like doing? And I personally find this actually exercise so challenging to do every time I do it because I'm definitely the type of person who just muck in for me. I have a really strong ability to suffer in the sense of I will just do what needs to get done and I won't moan or whinge about it. I'm just like, right, let's go, let's go, let's go. And that's how I operated for a long period in our startup, because there were things that just needed to get done and I would just do them. And so that was where I was as we've grown and I've started to have the luxury of asking myself, oh, what do I actually like doing this company? That's actually been more a challenging conversation for me. But when you really understand what you like and what you're good at. I spoke about the energy earlier. It really allows you to get into that slipstream again. The more you're doing things like the more I do stuff that I absolutely excel at and that I love or that I don't necessarily excel at, but I love, but I want to excel at and I want to learn and nurture that and educate myself on. That's when I feel again that energy is just always coming through because you're just really enjoying it. And so having that practice of moving those tasks that you're not good at, that take you twice as long as if you delegated them, is really, really important. And that's been a big part of Myanasi's. Not just Mindanasi's relation, the whole company. We always really try and make sure we get people in the right seats and doing the things that they love because we respect the fact that actually their energy is going to be. It's going to be easier for them to show up for work every single day if they're doing things that they know and enjoy. But that's the first part of your question.

I love it. I can listen all day. Okay, keep going.

Do you want me to answer the second piece around Natalie? I know, like I said at the beginning, I feel like this is not something that really gets spoken about all that much. And I really believe in the beauty of relationships and collaborations. And I also believe that there takes a lot of conscious communication to get those to work for me. You have to enter relationship, a business relationship, as if it was almost a marriage in many ways. There are going to be hard times, and they're going to be easy times. There is going to be disagreements, and there are going to be times that you love each other to bite. But ultimately, the thing that allows it to survive and blossom is that those communications are done. They're done, first of all. And two, they're done in a respectful manner. Three, you clear up the shit on your own side first. Sorry, am I allowed to. Oh, yeah, please keep swearing, because you can't. One thing that I've learned on my journey is that you have to take responsibility for your own mind and what you bring to the table. And that's the something that Nati and I have done quite well from the beginning, but have got a whole lot better with because we've been consciously and dedicated to working on that. Like, I'll. Like, it's not. I don't think it's a place in business to come and be like, oh, yeah, well, you know, this. When you said this, it really upset me because this is this. If those reasons are actually on your side and you need to work from it through them, I think we all have a responsibility of doing the inner work on ourselves. Okay, what are my triggers? Why are these my triggers? How can I overcome these triggers? Like, because a lot of the stuff that we find is that we tell ourselves story. You know, one person might say, like Joe Dispenza says, your purse, your personality is your personal reality. And that is so true. Like how you perceive the world and interpret the world, interpretation, situation is only from you. Someone has a very, very different interpretation from that. And unless you get to a point where you can really understand that communications and relationships can be really, really challenging because you don't, like, you think your way is the only way versus. Oh, hang on. I see it from this point of view. Let me try and walk over to their side of the bridge and say it. See it from theirs. And that's what Nat and I have always been really, really good at doing. And we've put a lot of effort into and we've done our own work to come through that. So if we do have any. I'm not even going to call them disagreements, because they're not if they don't get to the point of disagreements. But if we do have, like, challenges, we know the right way to communicate them or we know to be. Natalie and I have. And I really believe this in a company culture is really important. Important as well as psychological safety. We have a lot of psychological safety in our relationship. So what I mean by that is that I can show up in my unapologetic self and know that I'm loved and received in that way, and I'm supported in that way and likewise her for me. And that's what we always want to create with our teams. I don't believe that if you create a team where one people can't, like, say, look, I'm having a really hard day right now, like, I'm really sensitive or I'm really emotional, like, that's just. That's just not a safe place. Like, I don't think, like, you know, failure should be punished. Like, at the end of the day, all startups, all growing businesses, you have to fail and learn and learn and fail. And that is a cycle and that is a pattern. And if you can't create psychological safety from the top, you have no chance about creating it as it flows through your company. When I was talking about the startup, and I see that if, when people come to us, if they've had toxic leaders, you can see how that ripples through. So I think that's something that's really, really important. And why Natalie? Why Natalie and I put so much emphasis on our relationship and put so much effort into it because we know that has a direct ripple effect throughout the company.

Oh, it's beautiful. And I think that you just put that in such a great psychological safety that is something that can just sum up. Even when I look at my team or who I surround myself with, those are things that are. You don't know to specifically look for those things yet. That is probably the first thing to look for because you have to be able to show up completely as yourself, your whole authentic self, or you will hold back in certain areas. So if you do have a business partner that is making you feel like maybe you're not safe, number one, like you said, kind of checking in with yourself if it's you or it could potentially be them. What would a sign be for people if they're trying to kind of weed through that, like, oh, my God, how do I know if this is me or them that I don't feel safe? Is there any, like, things that you kind of take into consideration?

I actually think, like, it's to seek professional help first. Like, I really do think, like, you know how, you know how I think, like, your mindset is very much like your body, right? So we get fitness, right? So you know, speaking to warrior gets fitness and you know, like, how to, like, train your body and train your muscles, but you learn about that you don't just know how to do a bicep coil or the correct positions to do a squat. Right away you're taught it and someone guides you and says, okay, like, you're need to sit a little bit lower, you need to keep your bottom tucked in or all these pieces, because there's technique to it. Right. I really believe that way around mindset. I think that actually, like, when you're first going through these processes, particularly if you've got, and let's be honest, we all have trauma. Whether you had the most beautiful childhood or not, it's unlikely that you're going to have. And like, trauma is so many different. Like, yeah, like there's not as. Oh, yeah, well, these really bad things happen that created this trauma. Actually these really good things happen and this actually created this trauma from it. So I think just like going to somebody and like in the us My perception is you guys are much better at this than we are in the uk. But actually, like having practice of having a therapist or having a mindset coach or someone that you go to, which is like helping you process. It's not my business partner's job to help you process everything. You need to go away and seek, like, support to do that in that environment first, a safe environment. Because when you are going through something, you're processing something, it's my opinion you can, like, you can't just wade in with all that stuff with someone who's not trained to deal with that. So that's like me asking someone who has never lifted a weight in their life before, how do I lift this weight? Like, they're not going to know either. So then you're going to end up in challenges. So I really think it becomes like, okay, well, I know, I know that I feel this way. I'm not sure why I feel this way or who's, I'm going to say quotation mark's fault. It is because it's really no one's fault. But this is like how I'm feeling the situation. So I'm going to seek some help to support me and there's someone who is a professional who can help me through it. So then I understand what's mine and what I would like to work together through on the table. So I think, like, trying to do it on your own can be really challenging. And actually I think that, you know, I always believe that you're only going to be successful as you're mentally and physically capable of being. So whenever I talk about any mindset stuff, I Actually really see it as investment to really invest in yourself and really get that foundation strong helps you in the long term, get those tangible outcomes that you might be looking for, whether it's like growing your business or revenue, et cetera. But I do think investing in support from a trained professional is really important.

Yeah, I feel the exact same way. And kind of like how you said, like in the beginning, another person can unlock a perspective that was in you, but you couldn't see it's the same thing. I've definitely sat in some of my problems before, wondering, trying to figure out, is this me? Is this them? Is this me? And from your perspective, you can always make a case for why it's them. And you can be like, no, I really feel to my core that this is because of this. And then sometimes you bring that other outside person in, and it's like, oh, they're triggering me. Because I've had this happen in a relationship before, and I'm not differentiating that this is a different person. Like, this may not happen again with this person, even though it appears like this in the beginning, which is just so crazy. So like you said in the beginning, it was just like, it's like bringing another perspective that unlocks the answer for you, and that's why it's so crazy. You said bringing in another person, that's what you're all about, like, collaborative conversations to figure it out. So I love that that was your answer. And I want to know if you're willing to share, because I know that when I have gone into collaborations where I've, like, either done events with people or done some business courses or things like that, I've collaborated with some people on 50 50. It definitely brought up my own insecurities. Not around anything that they did, but for me, just being completely vulnerable. So I wanna know what you guys have, like, your vulnerable point maybe that Natalie has kind of brought out in you that maybe made you look at yourself. For me, I dealt with, like, oh, my gosh, am I enough? Am I doing enough? Does she think I'm doing enough? I had a lot of those moments where I actually had to have conversations like, hey, I'm feeling like you think I'm not doing enough. Even though you've never said it and you've never even led onto that. Can I just share how I'm feeling? So I would love to know, like, what insecurities came up for you when you started, you know, collaborating, and do you have insecurities that still come up that you talk through oh my goodness.

All the time. Like I feel like as well, like if you think anything's like ever going to be like I'm never going to feel insecure about anything in my life. Like I don't aim for that. I just aim to be better versus perfect. But one thing I really want to share for me is probably very similar to yours. Lori is like self worth. Like that for me has been like a big piece and I spoke about our podcast about imposter syndrome as well. Like it's something I've always really suffered with and I've had to do a lot of work and I am way better now. Like I really understand my worth and from doing those things like delegates and elevates what I was sharing earlier on, those things have really start to help me what I'm good at. Also really understanding how I can speak quite negatively about myself and how I can notice that and pick that up and switch into more positive cycles. So I've done so, so much work to really help with that on my own. But also I just want to give some tangible things that people can do when they're working with people because I actually feel like this is probably a lot of things, something that a lot of people run into. And this is where I think one of the things that I'm really good at really comes into play.

So.

One of my strengths is really landing a plane from taking things from ideation ideas and really starting to implement those things and put a structure around it. I think that's when there is a lot when you don't do that. I think there's a lot of room for that self worth thing. Just taking the example that you gave. Maybe like working with somebody sometimes if it's not clearly defined. Okay, so this is where we're starting. This is what the goals are. These are the steps that we go at doing. These are your responsibilities. These are my responsibilities. And really laying those pieces down and writing them down because it's all very well having a conversation, but they always need to be written down and ground them. And I always say landing the plane on them really allows a little bit more, more stability so that then when those things come up like, oh, I feel like you think I'm not doing enough. Well actually if I'm taking off the things that we pre agreed and I've done my I love asana, I've done my asana tasks and I. You can almost like self soothe a little bit because you know what was like the pre agreement in that. And I think like that's where you know, whether I'm, when I'm doing any collaborations, whether it's working with Natalie, working with the team, working with somebody out the team, like really just understanding like those expectations and being bold enough to have those right from the off and setting boundaries. I actually have learned this from Natalie. She's really, really good at setting boundaries in the sense of like, okay, well I do not work past this time or I want weekends off or I'm not willing to step in and do this piece. They were just examples. But really understanding how you one set expectations then that sets the boundaries have really helped me with my self worth then. Because then I'm like, well, well, because actually most of the time it's not them expecting things from me, it's me expecting myself. Do you relate to that where it's like, actually it was more you giving yourself a hard time for not being good enough because yeah. And so understanding what safety nets I can put in place for myself and what listeners can put in place for theirselves if they know that self worth. And also the other thing is self worth isn't for me and you. It's that. And I think a lot of listeners will relate to it. But. But other people, it might not be theirs and there might be something else. I have friends that theirs is feeling like they're too much or have friends that's different ones. Most of us will have an underwriting one that's triggered more easily. But just recognizing it understand the safety nets that you can put in place so that then you can versus running through the stable blocks into theirs bringing your stuff with it going, oh my goodness, I'm worried. I don't feel this way. Like, okay, if I put the safety net in, they probably don't because I've done this ASAM task. I've updated on this one that's still outdated because we pre agreed this I'm still on schedule for my times that we agreed then automatically that self worth is soothed. I find my biggest challenges is self worth come up when I don't have those expectations outlined. And that's why with our team, we really are getting better at this. But we've always followed KPIs and numbers and making sure they're spoken to because I think with all of of us in life, we like to know whether we're doing. We like to know we're doing good, but we also like to know when we're doing bad in a sense of like, you know, what's like, okay I'm performing. Okay. I'm not performing but I know where I need to get to. So like really just making sure like you're following those. Either the metrics that matter or the tasks that matter to allow someone to feel comfortable in their role, whether that's you or an employee.

Oh my gosh. I mean that, that is so vital and I love that around you know, safety nets. I literally kind of use the same frame but I call it like how can you support yourself around it? What would feel supportive around that idea? So I love the making sure if you've ticked off your boxes then you've done it and you can tell yourself at the end of the night you did your thing. So this is. You need to just love yourself now. You need to be okay now.

Yeah. Also I'm going to give this one too because I think this is really helped us is so yeah. Love on yourself and just make sure you can self soothe in those pieces. But also if it's like a new collaboration or we actually do this with our employees, we get them to do the love languages test. I don't know if you guys have done that. And it kind of like we get them to do it in a non romantic way. Right. So again it's made for like relationships. Yeah. But it also tells you how people like to receive praise. And so sometimes like you might not be giving, like you might not be receiving or giving the praise in a way that's like receptive to the other person. So like I know that Natalie's acts of service, like I know that about her. So if she wants to feel like loved, I know that like an act of service to her means the world and she really, really feels like seen and grateful. And mine is like words of affirmation. You don't need to do anything for me. You just need to tell me like, oh my goodness, I see you're doing this piece. I'm really like loving this. So it's like understanding Greg's is quality time. So like you know we're talking about relationships on all levels. Like I know that like for me quality time is at the lowest big thing. When I so far I'm like, I need to spend time with you. Like was he's like, do you love me?

I mean, can't I tell you I love you? I just told you like a lot.

Yeah. So it's like when you start understanding the people that you spend a lot of time with, it really allows like one cups create those boundaries and like, but then really just Allows you to play into those pieces. And I wear really like, I'm really forthcoming with telling you, hey, Lori, everyone listens to podcasts. Mayan's words of affirmations. If you want me to feel loved. And I just think, like, being open in collaborations and telling people about your personality really upfront in a very unapologetic way. I'm not going to pretend, and I used to do this a lot, but I used to pretend, try and fit and be who I needed to be for certain people. And it just doesn't work. And I am not at that point in my life. And so I'm very much like, hey, hey, do you know what? This is me. You need to know that this is me if this is going to work. Because when you start trying to live up to other people's expectations or how they want you to be, that's when that energy gets drained and you go into a whole world of pain. But I think just people showing up more unapologetically themselves as their best selves, let's say, as well, the best version of yourself, if you can unapologetically show up as that, that then that allows so many other things to fall into place and those collaborations and those communications and those relationships to be so much easier.

Oh, my God. I literally. I'm so sad about the clock because you need to come back for a part two.

I have.

So I literally have, like, five questions left that I am dying to know from you.

Should we do a part two?

We will do a part two. Because I really just feel like we opened up, like, the beginning of the box that I wanted to actually, like, dive into as well. So there's so many. There's so many. Because your words of affirmation. And I am too. I'm just gonna say that I absolutely love you and I loved this podcast and I could talk to you all day long. I'm so, so grateful. I think you're brilliant. I'm so, like, I always, always am obsessed with learning from you and learning strategy. Like, it's so. I think especially, you know, as I lean more on the creative side, it's just like, when you can find somebody who can take your ideas or how you can see how they can take ideas, and you can start to understand that. Just, it's like, oh, my God, the missing piece. So it's just so fun for me because I feel like you fill in missing pieces in my life when I listen to you. So, so cool. So I'm so grateful for you. Is there anything that you want to share before we go? And also, how can we find you? Follow you? What's that's so exciting in the Boss Babe world right now?

Well, I just want to say thank you for having me on here and thank you for having this conversation because I really, truly believe there is not enough conversation about this. Some of these pieces that we've covered today in the entrepreneurial space and just in general space, really, because it's so easy for us to get caught up in all the tangible aspects, but they really don't fall into place. The strategy pieces don't fall into place without these foundations. So I'm really excited. And on the next one, we can let you just dive straight into strategy. So I'm really going to look forward to that. And then, yeah, like, I would love to hear anyone's, like, takeaways, and my DMs are always open. You can find me at Danielle Canty. You can also find me off the back of Boss Babe 1, and I'm in the bio there as well. But honestly, Lori, thank you for having me on. It's like, been such a blessing. And you and Chris, like, I look up to you guys so much. Like, you've just been like, such an inspiration and the way that you have, you're always so generous with your knowledge and your time, and you guys have really shown like you guys live in abundance as well. And I really appreciate that. You're never, you know, you welcome people into your communities and I'm really blessed knowing you. So thank you for having me on.

Oh, thank you so much. And okay, you guys and always, we love to gift our incredible guest words of affirmation because you are words of affirmation as well, Danielle. So what we're gonna do is make sure you tag Daniel, take myself and let her know what your biggest takeaway was from the podcast. So your biggest takeaway, your biggest aha moment and all of those things. So you guys, until next time, earn your happy.

Bye, everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take 11 second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people and until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye. Bye.