651. Find Your Perfect Career Path in These 11 Steps - with Ashley Stahl

Sometimes people are just overworking themselves and it really makes their windshield blurry to look through and make that decision of, am I in the right thing or is it wrong for me? And so the first thing to ask yourself is, am I just burning myself out? Because FYI, when you burn yourself out, you're not gonna like anything.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junk, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Welcome back to the show.

My next guest is equally as brilliant as she is hilarious and I'm so excited to have her back on the show. She's already been on previously and now she has a new book out, so. Ashley Stahl is a counterterrorism professional turned career coach, speaker, and an author on a mission to help you step into your career or business you are excited about and aligned with because that's the most important. Her book is now available on Amazon for pre order. You guys have to get it. It's called U turn, get unstuck. Discover your direction, design your dream career. And it takes readers on her career journey into counterterrorism, offering an 11 step formula to discover your best career fit. And you guys, we go through a lot of these on the podcast. Through her two viral TEDx speeches, her email list of 500,000 and her show U Turn podcast, she's been able to help support clients in 31 countries in discovering their best career path, upgrading their confidence and landing more job offers. If you are unsure of the career that you're in, if you are just not sure what is next, or if you are really looking into maybe expanding what you're already doing and really thinking bigger, I'm telling you, this podcast is for you. Let's get started.

Ashley, I'm so excited to have you back on the show. I feel like it's been a while since you've been. I don't know, I know that you have gone into like hardcore book writing, studying, like it's a real thing when you go into writing a book and just gathering everything that you need to bring this thing to life, to bring forward all of this information for people. So tell me a little bit about kind of like, what that journey was like, first of all, and what you've been up to. I haven't been able to catch up with you since, so we're just going to do it on this podcast.

Well, first of all, thanks for having me. I'm so excited to be with you. And, yeah, like, I'm looking at your. Your little. What's the word for, like, the thing on your screen. It says your rose and drink light pink.

Oh, yeah.

So fun because it's such a symbol of how long it's been since we've connected. And it's funny because last time I was really, really in your field, just seeing you often. I remember that you were just complete writing A Tribe Called Bliss, and you had really kind of had that book hangover. I don't know if you experienced this, but I fe this, like, death when my book was written. Like, oh, my gosh. All of these parts of me that I had to get out and put on the pages and make a difference in the way that I know I'm meant to make. They're on the pages. And now it's kind of like, now what do I do with my life?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, girl.

I was like, when. When we were kind of, like, in each other's realm for a bit there, getting to see each other at a lot of different things. I was like, in some sort of hangover of, like, what do I do next? So it's this interesting place of. I can only imagine what new mothers feel like kind of like, oh, my God, I was so excited for this thing, but now this thing has created, like, a completely different, you know, like, things have opened up and things have gotten scary. So you kind of are just like, you couldn't have said it right or better. Like, it's just like this insane journey of kind of what, now? Or now you have to turn into a different person who's actually marketing the book.

Yeah. And that's such an interesting thing. Like, I've got so much healing and so much inspiration from writing this book that I almost feel like, oh, my gosh, now I'm marketing it, and it's such a different energy. And I feel like you hit the nail on the head. Like, there's a lot of expectations and mindsets and conversations that I think go on socially around purpose. And it almost seems like we're keeping an unrealistic standard alive, that we all need to have a purpose in every single moment, and it has to tie to our work in some way. And that's something that I've teased apart like a little knot for years and years now, not just with myself, but with clients.

Okay. So this is such a theme in my life, and I know that this is, you know, some of the podcasts that do the best on this, because it's a universal truth for people, I think, is that it's. It's like not knowing what their purpose is. And then once you find your purpose, realizing that sometimes your purpose changes really fast and that you don't just have one purpose. Some people do, some people don't. And I think that what you are going to teach us on this podcast is really going to show us how we can take those skill sets and identify them and also probably realize how we can have so many different purposes. You know, I know that when my book was done and I kind of was in that place of like, I want to be a speaker and an author, and I woke up and realized that maybe I don't want to be all those things permanently for much longer. And that was like a really. I didn't share with a lot of people, but I was in kind of a weird, like, not hopeless, but, like, I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing now because this isn't lighting me up the same.

Yeah.

So it'll be really cool to learn about all of these different skill sets that you have identified, because I kind of feel like that's what I did. I had to identify what really lit me up and what I was good at. And then I looked at where it could all apply across the board, and it really opened up doors for me because I had kind of pigeonholed myself. And I think that's what a lot of people do. It's like, this is what I've known. This is what I do. I can't see myself working outside of this. Except people have these incredible skill sets that they have no idea about. So I'm, like, dying to dive into everything that you've written about in the book. So why don't you give me, if you could give us, like, an overview of what you've discovered and what your kind of zone of genius is right now that you like to write on.

Yeah. I think the premise of the book is. And just my life ever since I started writing it and all of the reflection I've done the past 10 years, that has kind of culminated into this piece of work is based on the realization that we don't really need clarity, but rather we need to connect to ourselves. And if I had a penny for every client who came into my old office, now that I'm virtual, but back in the day, they'd come in and they'd say, I need clarity. I don't know where I belong in the workforce. Or something feels like it's missing or maybe I want to start a business. And every single time in my head it was like, how do I get them to see that clarity is not the problem, but that they're just not connecting to themselves? Because there's so many mechanisms in our lives that come up as we grow up that bring us further away from ourselves, and we don't have that conscious awareness to stay true to ourselves. Because it's work. It's work to be happy. It's work work to listen to yourself. It's work to set boundaries when people want to make requ quests that take you away from yourself. And so I find my work in the heart of what I'm really doing in the book is bringing people back to who they are and helping them see what their skill sets are. And I also found that once you're connected to yourself, it really gets quite easy to figure out where you belong in the workforce because you start to notice what you're truly interested in, what your actual likes are. And you make a really good point, Lori. And I remember you actually sent me a voice note when you were going through that. And I really. It really sat with me because I'm like, damn. I see Lori with, like, purpose just channeling through her veins. And I can imagine how painful it is when you're that kind of purpose centric person to feel like, I'm a racehorse. I've got all this energy, I want to put it out in the world, but I don't know where to put it. And I find that there's a lot of people who are going through that. And these 10 core skill sets that I pulled out are just based on one of the chapters of 12 in my book. And they kind of coincide with your core values, your core nature, which is my term for the energy you bring to the room. But your core skill sets, I would find, are really the crux of what career you're meant for, because ultimately they bring you out of what you're interested in and into what you're capable of really making an impact with. And what I mean by that is like, I'm really interested in cupcakes. Like, you know, I've talked about them. I love cake, and I'm really interested in massages and friends, but I'm not meant to make a career out of that. When you look at my core skill set, a lot of different careers become a possibility. And so that was what inspired me to make sure that I took the 10 years of study that I've done as a career expert and culminate them into these 10 core skill sets. So without further ado, I'm happy to go through them, if that's helpful.

Oh, God, I would love that. I'm literally, I'm like really excited to kind of go through them with you and just think about where, you know, I have so many friends right now who are kind of even. Even in that pivoting place just because of everything going on in the world as well. So I'm really excited to send them this podcast. So let's go.

Yeah, well, so, okay. So anybody who's listening right now, if you're thinking like, I something's missing in my career or I don't like my business that I'm in, the first thing to home to is your skill set. Because what you're interested in will never weigh as much in your career as what your skills are. You start with your skills and you end with your interests. So I would say number one is innovation. That's the. And they're not ranked in any particular order, these 10. The innovation skill set is for the intrapreneur. It's for the entrepreneur. It could be an entrepreneur who has their own business. It can be an intrapreneur who holds their own book of business under the umbrella of a company. But there are somebody who comes up with the creative ideas that actually a company forward or they're executing in a way that moves a company forward. So usually it's kind of like the second in command or the founder themselves that you'll find as the innovator.

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And then the second core skill set, and just equally they're all so different, is building. This is somebody who can bring an innovator's vision to life and it can take on many forms. And I think this is one of the most important things when you're looking at your career is to remember that one skill can look a thousand ways. So to keep your mind really open and to tune into the energy of that skill. So when I talk about an innovator, I'm talking about somebody who's innovating. Think about what kind of creative energy exists around that self, starter energy. And when I think about the core skill set number two of building and bringing somebody's vision to life, you also want to just tune into the energy of, like, what does it feel like to be building? And that kind of opens up for you all of the different types of careers. It can be anything from a car mechanic who is like, literally building a car by bringing it apart and putting it back together. It can be as literal as a construction worker. It can be a little bit more concrete, like a web development who's putting a website together that's all building energy. And the third one, Laurie, has got to be yours. But I do believe that people tend to have a primary and a secondary core skill set. So the words core skill set is really for the born communicator. And it can look like a speaker if they're extroverted. It can look like just a writer most of the time, if they're introverted. And yet, there are many ways to channel the core skillset of words. And I think a lot of people, Lori, they ask me, like, how do I know if that one's definitely me? What if I'm many of them? And the way you know that you're in your core skillset is that you're turning other opportunities, like, other opportunities into that skill set, even if you can't help yourself or your skill set's not really relevant. So, for example, my first job was working in the cafeteria at a preschool when I was 16. Like, so weird.

Yeah.

And, like, but I totally channeled words. Like, I would go to the front desk and start editing brochures on my break. And eventually they were like, oh, can you edit our email to the parents? You know, and it's like, it's that skill set that even if you're flipping burgers, you're doing that thing too, and you just can't help yourself. It's something that's so obvious and natural to you that you almost don't realize you have it as a skill set sometimes. And, you know, so again, words could be a speaker, a writer, a content strategist, anything. And even in business development, you need to use words for sales. You're turning words into money. Ultimately, somebody with this core skill set, or any core skill set, is taking that skill set and turning it into cash because they're natural at it. And interrupt me if I just go on a whole tangent here, Lori, but number four, I love it.

I'm letting you go because I just want to hear all of them.

Yeah, totally. There's so many. Number four is motion. So, again, you want to think about the energy of this, and you probably have this one, too. And it would be up to you, Laurie, if this was like a primary or a secondary core skill set. But I do tell people, especially in the workforce, that your primary core skill set is what matters the most. The secondary one is usually nice to know but not necessary. So anybody who's racking their brain right now as they're writing these down, thinking, like, maybe I'm this one, maybe I'm that one, it's just about figuring out which one is really home for you. So the core skill set, number four of motion, it's a primary skill and way of being through movement or using your hands. So this could be anything from a fitness trainer to a tour guide guide, you name it. And then the fifth core skill set is service. So somebody who is in service, these are our helpers. These are the people who literally live to serve. And I think a lot of people think that service is their core skill set. But especially entrepreneurs, they start to get into leverage, and they're like, oh, actually, this isn't a core skill set. This is just a necessary mindset that I need to have as an entrepreneur. So it's important for anybody who thinks they might have this one to make sure it's coming from a really inspired and true place. This is the person who wants to help others in some way, even if it's in customer service. So it's a supporter. It could be a nurse. It could look like a humanitarian, a social worker. You can tell based on the variety of jobs that I'm mentioning, that it is very much so an energy field, as we were saying. And then number six is coordinating and bless these people. We need them so bad. I am so not a coordinator. And, you know, so the coordinator is anything from an event coordinator to somebody who is running operations at a company, a project manager, a program manager, somebody who is managing all sorts of pieces of a puzzle. And I feel like those people are so noticeable when they're really good at their job, and they're so noticeable when they're not. When it's not their core skill set. You know, like, you notice when people are dropping the ball all the time and there's no Shame in that. And I think that's also one of the things I want to note as you're taking notes, people who are listening is just to remember to set yourself free. Like, you're not supposed to have all 10 of these core skill sets. So celebrate when they're not for you and stop forcing yourself to be in one. And then the seventh core skill set is another one that's not necessarily my strong suit, analysis. So this one speaks for itself. It's anything from a researcher, an academic, an economist, anybody. I used to work in counterterrorism and national security. There's a lot of analysis. Looking back, it wasn't the job for me because. And I'm actually impressed when I look back with my little self because I'm like, wow, this is so not my skillset. I had to override so much of my natural being to do well at that job. And looking back, I'm like, wow, if I could, like float by in that job and do a decently good job, I wonder what I could do with something I'm actually meant for. And then core skill set number eight is numbers. So straightforward. You know where our number crunchers at, Anything from an accountant to an investment analyst, financial modeler. And then we've got number nine, which is technology. This can be your classic IT ninja. Like, thank God for the genius bar who's fixed my laptop from me spilling coffee on it three times now. Or somebody who works in AI or some sort of cutting edge technology. We need these people. And then number 10 is beauty. The beauty people are the ones that really make art of their surroundings and the world as a whole. I think a lot of people love beauty, but they don't necessarily know how to really create it on a consistent basis. So I think that's another thing to consider is what you like isn't always what you are.

These are so good. I can see how I've danced in a lot of them. Yeah, definitely not tech or analysis or numbers, but definitely. So something that I think I would love to hear from you is to I know that you've talked to so many people about these topics and, you know, helping people through different career choices and things like that. What is a sign that you are just like, maybe you're good at something, but it's not your number one or it's not something that you should necessarily keep focusing on or stay in.

Like, what does that look like?

What does that show up like in your life?

You know, I think that's one of the most dangerous things in our careers, the things that we're good at, but we don't necessarily love because we just keep staying in different jobs sometimes, or businesses that keep harnessing a zone of goodness, but not the zone of greatness. I would say the number one indicator that most of us have been culturally taught to override is our body. Our body knows. And I did a TED talk recently. I talked about how there's more than 200 million neurons in our gut and that's why it's called our second brain. It's the size of a literal cat or dog's brain. So. So our body knows when we're depleted and when we're inspired. And another question to ask yourself as you're feeling depleted is, am I depleted because I'm overdoing it completely, or is it because this thing isn't for me? And I say that because, you know, it's like, I love shopping, Lori. Like, typical woman over here. Like, you know, not to genderize myself, but. And yet I'm not. I don't want to shop at three in the morning, you know, so it's like sometimes people are just overworking themselves and it really makes their windshield blurry to look through and make that decision of am I in the right thing or is it wrong for me? And so the first thing to ask yourself is, am I just burning myself out? Because FYI, when you burn yourself out, you're not going to like anything.

Anything.

Been there.

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So how do you guide people through these? Like, if somebody's listening right now and they're kind of all over the place because they just can't figure it out, or maybe they just haven't given themselves the time to even be in touch with themselves recently, how do you start figuring it out?

Yeah, I would say I love the, you know, I don't know if it's because we're both in personal development laureate, and I think that opens up so many channels for all of us as women, as friends, to help each other in some way. But to me, it's the power of asking really good questions. And I've really luxuriated in that. Like having you as a friend and women like you, where it's like, if I have something going on, I'm usually getting a really powerful question that opens up a lot of answers. And so I think anybody who's feeling disconnected right now, first you want to just ask yourself and the people around you better questions. I think one question to ask yourself is, am I an introvert or am I an extrovert? And I know that there's a lot of research also on ambiverts where you are very extroverted until a certain point and then you tip over. But I do believe that people kind of lead with one and this is highly influential and what kind of job is for you? So I think anybody listening right now, what, even if you kind of feel pulled towards a certain core skill set, like out of the list of 10, I'm sure people could probably find like two, if not four, max, that they're like, I might be one of these. The next question is just, am I introverted or extroverted? Because words is my core skill set. But it's going to look very different if I'm an introvert. Like, the last place I should be is on a stage if I'm a speaker trying to be an extrovert, you know, but another question to ask other people, and I think one of the most powerful questions you can ask for your career to the people who know you and also the people who don't know you so well, if you're comfortable is the question, when have you seen me at my best? Such a powerful question. Yeah. And people usually don't really actually know what to expect when they ask that question. Like, Lori, I bet you if you asked your mom or even Chris, like, when have you seen me at my best in my work? Like, you might not know the answer that they're gonna give you.

Yeah, I'm gonna ask that tonight, actually. I'll just text Kris right now.

Yeah, that's another thing is, I recommend texting that question because it helps people to, like, really land into the answer and process what it might mean as it relates to a core skill set. So when you ask people, when have you seen me at my best? It lends itself to a core skill set, and that really helps you kind of open up the question of, what skillset am I using in these examples that people are giving?

God, yeah. It's just such a reminder of, are we even. We really don't do this, to be honest with you. Like, I think a lot of us who are in personal development do more ask. You know, we ask more questions, but there are still so many questions that could be asked that just would smack you right in the face with answers that you didn't even realize were there. So I want to know for you what was, like, the most interesting finding about discovering these 10 things? Did you have a moment of, like, holy shit. Like, this is the answer to everything. Like, how did you sit and figure this all out? How long did it take? What did you discover about yourself throughout them?

Yeah, I would say the most important thing was just really noticing that it matters what you're good at naturally. Like, I think there's so many people out there who want to be good at certain things, and they spend a lot of their lives resisting the fact that this is just not their jam. And, yes, there's so much research out there. Like, I read Angela Duckworth's book Grit, and there was so much research about how grit is so much more powerful than a natural skillset. And so, yes, that matters, but there's also a level of exhaustion unless you're pursuing something with grit that you have energy for. And so I find that, for me, what I learned is that I have a lot of willpower, but life is so much easier and more fun when I'm doing something that I'm already naturally good.

Oh, God. I have so many examples of this in my life. And I. You know, I was really great at fitness. I was awesome at running a gym. I was great at training people, But I've never been so exhausted. Like, it just. It took so much energy for me. And I think I can look back at everything that I've done that was such an important piece. Like, I definitely played in a lot of these skill sets that weren't necessarily my zone of genius. And how I could always tell it was time to go or hire or figure out how to barter myself out of that position to get back into something that, you know, energized me is because I just. I was exhausted. I started to feel a little anxious or depressed or like, I wouldn't know where I was going to get the energy from each day to, like, continue on with that thing. And it's tough because I think a lot of people in your life and a lot of people who are maybe in something that they're good at, get a lot of people who tell them they're so great at it, or maybe they're getting a lot of attention from it or accolades, or maybe that's the only way they've gotten love or attention. So you can kind of, like, feel stuck sometimes.

Yeah.

And sure, if you're good at something else. So how do you start, like, testing some of these out? If you are really in one, let's say, like, you're not an accountant or a numbers person, but you're so in depth and entrenched in that career, what are some things you would start doing to kind of get into your zone of genius?

Yeah. So there's a whole field of work that I find really, really fascinating, and it's called job crafting. And the field of work is bas all about these researchers figuring out how do you turn a bland job, for example, into a grand job? You know, like, how do you take your job that you don't like and make it make sense for you or make it something that can actually support you in the future? And so I always recommend people start off with an exercise. So anybody who's listening right now, after this podcast, they can grab a piece of paper and they can draw quadrants, and at the top, they can put good at and not good at. And then on the sides, they put, like, don't like, and anything in the not good at, don't like area. Like, if you are doing more than, like, 5 to 10% of your time in that, something's got to give, Whether you need a new job or you need to have a conversation at work, I just find that, you know, kind of noticing how much you're pushing yourself to be Someone you're not is really, really key. So I say that's something to start with. But from there, you know, once you've kind of done that self evaluation, you know, and obviously the most sacred box being the good at and like box box is taking initiative and job crafting. So asking yourself, is there a project I can offer to take on at work, or is there some sort of initiative that I can spark up at work that allows me to create a part of my job that feeds itself into the future that I want to have or the person that I want to be? So I'd say that's a good start.

Oh, that is okay.

So is this.

This is literally brilliant because where I see a lot of people get stuck or where I hear about it and where I've been tempted to get stuck as well, is to think that you have to go and find that perfect job that is so freaking different than what you're doing. And you now have to go from what you were doing into this brand new thing. And there is so much opportunity, exactly like you just said, to create a job that may not exist at your job by really thinking of things right? Like, you can bring that to your employer and be like, hey, this is how this could benefit the company. This is my zone of genius anyway. I would really like to try this on. Maybe we could try it for free for a better see what this looks like. You know, one of the things I did as an entrepreneur with this was to when I had different programs, let's say I had the workout program. So it was a monthly membership where.

It was all workouts.

And I was finding I was not getting lit up by that. I just wasn't enjoying, you know, recording these workouts and telling people about how much weight to lift and like how to change their body. And I was like, I want to talk about mindset. So instead of flipping into mindset completely, I added it to that program. So I added a component to it. It where I now got to talk about that and really, really practice it and try it on with the group that I was already in, slowly switching everything over and phasing out the workout thing. So I. That is.

I don't think people realize that there's.

That's.

That's how majority of this is created is you have to just like make it up pretty much like out of thin air, like create something for yourself.

Yeah. And you know what? It's like, there's like this childlike essence that I think we forget in our careers. But one of the biggest messages that I had in writing the book was that your career is an experiment that really meet you where you are. And I don't know where this concept came from, that we somehow are born with one path and we stay on the line. It just doesn't make sense. And there seems to also be this collective expectation that we should somehow know what we want to do without having played any game of trial and error in our career. And there really is no such thing as error. It's like dating. Dating is a sorting process. Your career is a sorting process. And it's so important that the people I found who are really doing work that they love outside of being in these 10 core skill sets and obviously having written a whole book on career and this just being one chapter of it all, it's like there's so much to your career. I mean, from here I go into core values and filtering through your job options based on your core values. But ultimately the people who I found are happy are the ones who have said to themselves, a, I give myself permission to change, and B, I give myself permission to try. And that trial and error, it's like. It reminds me of I once went to the Pixar office and when I walked in on the wall, it said, fail faster. And I think that's really the game of creating a great career is failing faster. And that involves trying things on and being nimble in the job market and engaging in some way. Because clarity comes from engagement. It's never going to come from thought. And I think we kind of talked about this on our last episode we did on your podcast, a while of just clarity coming from engagement. And I know that in that moment, I remember you talking about how you'd been doing so many different forms of engagement in your own career, Laurie. And I think that there seems to be some fear that we all have of trying something that we haven't been doing for so long. And I get it. We are hardwired for survival, and that is on so many different levels to survive in our social groups where we don't want to make less money, you know, and we want to keep the people around us or we to survive, you know, take care of our family. It feel. It can feel very threatening to make a career change. But I will say, it never ceases to amaze me the amount of years somebody will spend stuck in somewhere that they don't like because they put a few years into grad school or a law degree that ultimately isn't lining up or moving them.

Oh, God, if they stay in that and the energy is not there, it's like, it's crazy to think about how I've just seen so many examples of when people finally realize what they're good at and lights them up. It's like they make up that money that they were so afraid of losing in such a short amount of time. In what I've seen a lot, this is not every single scenario. Or they make it up in happiness and they're just like, screw it, I don't care what I lost. Because my whole life is like so much better by releasing that. You know, it's. It's like I feel like the sign is if you just feel like you're in so much resistance in an uphill climb and you're always tired and you just can't figure out, out, you know, why that is. It's so much of it is you just. We have put our. Made ourselves be trapped into something that is not for us. It's not that we don't learn lessons, right? Because I've heard people say, God, I wasted so much time with that career. And I'm like, yeah, but what did you learn that you're taking into this next one or the skill set that you're going to use in this next one? So, okay, I'm dying to know about the roadmap, the like 11 steps. Because if we get your book, what we're going to learn in how to. I mean so much stuff you had said, like finding our core values, which we haven't really totally touched on. The 10 different skill steps. And then it's essentially an 11 step roadmap to get you kind of to this place of like where.

Clarity.

Clarity on what we should be doing or where we can apply it.

Yeah, like what the right career path is for you. Really. And it's interesting because as you were talking like you were saying, a lot of people kind of get themselves stuck. And I think that people who say that they're fine, like not even the people that are miserable, because miserable is visceral and it usually transforms you because you can't stay there. It's not bearable. But it's like the fine people who are stuck in that lukewarm. It's like usually they're just not in touch with their pain when they say that they're fine. But yeah, this 11 step roadmap that I created is just based on this past decade of work I've been doing and surveys and data I've collected from thousands of people that have taken courses from me and also just subscribed to free trainings for me. And the 11 different pieces out of the 12 chapters, the first one is knowing your core nature. And this actually is the only step that exists before core skillset. So your core nature is essentially the energy that you bring to the room. And what I talk about with this particular step on the roadmap is seeing that as a foundation for your career. That's the foundation that holds your core skillset. So, you know, when you walk into a room, Laurie, I think of you as, like, bubbly and, like, receptive and, like, alive. You know, like, you've got good energy in that regard. And it's not to say there's such a thing as a bad core nature or bad energy. You know, I mean, they're. They' can be, but everybody has a core nature, and there's something neutral about that. And when you know that core nature, you can kind of channel that into many different paths. And from there you can refine them based on your core skillset. So somebody like you, Laurie, who's like, chatty and like, vivacious and receptive, it's like, you'd probably be very good in sales, you know what I mean? Like, if you were in the workforce, you'd be good at. You'd probably be a good talent agent. There's so many different ways to channel that core nature. And from there, in chapter two, I talk about your core skillset. I go a lot deeper than what we're able to do in this podcast. Just about those 10 core skill sets, what they mean for you. I share my own story throughout the book in service to people who are really trying to figure out who they are and how they can turn themselves into a career that resonates and that kind of helps you when you look at your core skillset, Filter through all of these jobs you might have thought about or people that you know that have a similar core nature and energy that you bring to the room. And so if you want to figure out your core nature, another good text to send people is like, how does the room change when I walk in? Like, what are some adjectives? Those adjectives, usually, if you keep getting a few that are recurring, really reference your core nature. And obviously I'm obscuring it. I wrote like 25 page chapter on it, but this is the essence of it, and I think it's just really, really important. And then from there I talk about unlocking your money blueprint. And a great exercise for anybody listening is to Just think about like, how much money do they want to make in their career and then triple it or double it and ask themselves, like when they write down that number, what are the stories that come up about who they are or what's going on in their world that keeps them from feeling like that number is accessible to them? And I know that this is just obviously entrepreneurs get nerves about a certain number edge that they need to create in their business if they want to honor that. But also it's edgy in the workforce because I think there's a lot of beliefs that you can't make a lot of money in certain career paths. And I've continued to learn through coaching so many different types of people. Everybody from administrators assistance to celebrities who don't want to make movies anymore. It's like, you know, there's always room for greatness on top in every single career. There's always room to make money. You know, like if you want to be a tour guide, you can have a, you know, you can have a company with multiple tour guides. You can be a tour guide at the company that asks for equity or revenue share because you're doing such a good job, you know, keeping the customers happy. There's so many ways to make money in the workforce and people just don't think about it. And I mean, the list goes on. But another step in the roadmap number four that I go through in chapter four is all about your core values. And I find that those are also a filter for different jobs you choose. Because there's really two dynamics in your career. One dynamic is what you do, and that comes back to your core skillset. You know, what your core skill set is kind of informs different job title possibilities. And those job titles kind of point you to how you're spending your actual day. Which is why I'm so devoted to course skills. Skill set over interests. Because your interest is something you're interested in, but your core skill set and the job title references how you're spending your whole your time. You know, it's like if you love politics but you're the staff assistant, you're spending your time doing admin. So that comes back to a core skill set, you know, but core values is different than what you do. Core values is about how you do it. And you know, according to research, more than 50% of people leave their job because they don't like their boss. And so when you really deeply look at that. Lori alright, if most people are leaving because of how their boss is and how Their job looks with their boss. It has nothing to do with the job itself. The responsibilities they're taking on, their core values and what they hold dear and what principles they hold in their heart as non negotiable for their life matter in that moment. And so this chapter is really just about helping people say, what are my core values? And how do I weave them into my career? How do I set standards around them and stay nimble and flexible in the workforce? And step number five is just learning how to befriend your blocks. I feel like this is something, Lori, that you've probably been doing throughout this entire podcast, is helping people facilitate them with their worthiness and connecting to who they really want to be. And the chapter is called either Fear or Inspiration. And the reason I called it that was because it's a really good question to ask yourself when you're making career choices. Is this coming from fear or is this coming from inspiration? And when you realize that it's coming from fear, it's like, okay, well, what are the fears that you have? Because usually this career path isn't going to actually be sustainable if that's where you're at. And then another chapter I talk about in the roadmap number six is all about your core interests. So, like, what are you interested in? And how do you know if it's meant to be a career? I found, just as I was writing this chapter and going through my own research, that there's a really big difference between motivation, motivation and dedication, you know, And I'm sure you've seen that in fitness. Like, you're motivated, like, you can power out three months of, like, lifting weights and change your body a little bit, but dedication, that's more of a lifestyle, you know, And I find that that's the case with your career. And there's a lot of people who seem to have, you know, confusion around their interests. And are they just motivated about this or are they dedicated to this interest? And what kind of skill sets exist on the periphery of this interest? So if you have an interest in food, what kind of ways can. Can you use a skillset around that? And what is your core skillset? Do you want to be a food blogger? Like, is writing your core skillset? Do you want to be like a salesperson? Is words for a food brand. So it really comes back to looking at your core skill set still. And I found also in my research, there's such a big difference between passion and excitement. And I'm not obviously just based on how I've probably sounded. Everybody's like, all right. She's probably not a big fan of the follow your passion, because I. I think passions are cool, but they don't always follow them, you know. But I would say there's a huge difference between, in the same way, motivation and dedication is passion versus excitement. Like, excitement runs out, you know, passion doesn't. And so I also find that this distinction is really a key one that I talk about in this piece of the roadmap. And then number seven, I talk about how to turn conversations into opportunities. You know, I think a lot of people go into fear with talking about themselves, and there seems to be some social normalcy. And I'm curious if you see this, Lori, with celebrating yourself, you know, or talking about what your strengths are. So this piece of the roadmap leans very heavily on how do you talk about yourself in a way that's humble but real and opens doors for opportunities.

That is probably going to be one of. I mean, all of these are going to be impactful. And maybe that's just from my personal opinion, but I think when people can understand that, you don't realize how much of the opportunity you're always creating by yourself, so. And how much opportunity is actually out there. I've just, you know, with what I'm doing right now, Ashley, like, that just literally, that's. If I didn't have that skillset, nothing would be happening, and I didn't have it right. I had to learn how to do that. So I'm so excited that you have that in here, too. This is literally like an everything book for people. So what are you most passionate about right now?

You know, I feel like having had this experience, one thing that people have asked me a lot is, like, how do I start feeling myself again? And this book really, like, kicked me back into me. And I always answer that question for people by telling them to, like, come up with a list of places you like to go or people you like to see or things you like to do that make you feel like you. Such a good career tip, too, because it's like you can't figure out your 9 to 5 until you're being yourself, you know, from 9 to 5 and 5 to 9, you know, like, there's like this. This weird disconnect that we all have. And I think for me and my work, there's certain projects that I did. Like my podcast. I absolutely love my podcast. It's using all of me. But there's other things in my business that I'm like, oh, this isn't for me. And I think being in the artistry of writing a book brought me back into my heart and bought me back into the truth. That not really a. You know, Sheryl Sandberg. I kind of see myself more as like a Shel Silverstein, you know? And I guess, you know, for me, that lesson of, like, wow, there's something so nourishing from being who I am. And I forgot that a little bit because even though I started this business and who I am in the world based on a lot of inspiration, I think it's very common for me or for anybody to get a little lost along the way in their hustle. And I'm just so glad that this book brought me back to my heart.

Yeah, it's pretty magical how sometimes the toughest things. Because I know it's. While the book is magical, it was probably one of the deepest you've had to dig within yourself. Did you ever have those moments where you didn't know how you were going to get to the end? Other side.

Yeah. And I find I actually have a chapter on that. And it's all. It's called the divine unknown. And, you know, it's interesting because it's like, who we are in the unknown is so indicative for what our life is going to look like in general. Like, it's indicative for what our nervous system.

Oh, good. That just gave me chills from head to toe. I just had to, like, tell you.

You, chills gave me chills.

Oh, my God, I still have them. My whole right side is tingling. Oh, um. That is literally everything. Okay, keep going. That's my phone.

Yeah, well, it is. It's like, it's not just our nervous system, because, like, if you're not comfortable with uncertainty, which is very common, I mean, our brains are hardwired to look for threats in our environment, and uncertainty can feel like a threat because it is in some way. And yet it's like our nervous systems are revved up. And also, I think in our love lives, like, what happens to the friend who. Who isn't good with uncertainty, with dating, they usually end up with the wrong guy because they just want something certain or the wrong woman. I mean, whatever their preferences are, it's like, it's so important that we are able to reconnect to ourselves and also just see our lives as seasons. Like, we are not meant to be these workhorses who always have our careers with our T's crossed and our I's dotted. We're experimental, creative beings that need to just keep growing our core skill set and keep exploring our interests and our little breadcrumbs that pull us into the person that we're really meant to be.

Man, I'm just, like, getting all sorts of chills and downloads because everything you're saying is just so completely hitting with a lot of the things that I've just been marinating on lately. You know, how you go through really challenging times in challenging in a good way, challenging in a bad way way, meaning the times that just, like, really make you either understand what life is about, realize who you are, open your eyes to different things, change a perception. Like, those times, and it's really right.

Along with the breadcrumbs.

Like, life is not made up of these huge moments or these places that you're trying to hit or these huge accomplishments. It's like it's really getting excited about the breadcrumbs and following them and celebrating every single breadcrumb for what it is. A realization, a new connection, you know, a new project, a new chapter in your life. And I just think between that and getting really uncomfortable or really comfortable with the. With the uncertain, because it's just if you can do those two things and kind of like release and, you know, release all your expectations and just be happy with whatever is going on and where you're at, I just feel like you are going to be able to master anything and kind of be the master of your emotions. So I want to know, is there anything in your life right now that for you, you feel is missing?

When I feel like, what is missing? Wow, that's such a powerful question. And it's so interesting. I haven't really thought about it because I'm so in what's here. But I also. I feel like what's been missing in my life that I'm working on now, but I don't know if I'll ever be there. Is, like, my relationship to my health. Like, I don't have poor health, but with COVID it really highlighted for me. Like, at first, I was in a lot of fear. Like, oh, my gosh, I don't want to get this thing. I always have lung stuff. But then I moved into, how do I get a lot of immunity so that that doesn't even matter. And it has been such a journey for me, and I still feel like it's missing because ultimately, in my career, no matter how booked my day is, if my physical isn't good, my mental can't really perform anyway. And I feel like physically, I still kind of get like brain fog. And I'm learning to take my supplements and I hired a trainer five days a week, so I'm working on it, but it's not natural for me and I'm still very much so finding myself in my wellness.

Oh, girl. I think that's going to happen for you. You know what I mean? I think switching the question like you did is just so incredibly powerful. Not like, how do I not get this? How do I build up immunity? So thanks for sharing that because I think that probably gave a light bulb to a lot of people asking a better question. Right? That's going to get you a result that you actually want. So, okay, dying to read this book. I'm literally going to be tagging you when I read it and all of the quotes. I know that you are and everybody listening totally knows you are like a wordsmith and a genius. So I'm really excited to learn from you. How can we get it?

Where can we find it? All of the things it is available, where all books are sold. If you just head to uturnbook.com, you can see all of your options. It's Y O U T U r n book.com books because. And I called it that because I'm all about making a U turn and just reconnecting to yourself and Lori, I'm so grateful that you're here and it means so much to me that you asked me all the questions that you did about this. And I hope it really helps whoever you are listening, whether you're in traffic or working out, I hope that this makes a really big impact for you whether you get the book or not.

Well, this impacted me and I absolutely want the book. So I highly suggest everybody gets the book. Ashley, I'd love to. I'm going to purchase some of your books and do a giveaway. So what we're going to do is I'm going to be sending five of your books to the people who decide to shout out you and tag myself as well. So what you're going to do is you're going to tag Ashley. Ashley, what's your Instagram handle that you want to tag?

It's Stahl. A S H L E Y S T A H L thank you guys.

So much for spending this time with me on the Earn youn Happy podcast. I am so, so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye.