653. Turning Setbacks into Setups!

But you guys, if you start working on taking out your meaning, like, take off the pressure, take out your meaning, like, just see what that feels like to say, I'm going to release this because it's not doing me any favors. You will become an entrepreneur ninja. You'll actually become a life ninja.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

And we're back with another episode of he said, she said. I'm surprised we're on the mic this early.

We've had a couple week, like timeout, a couple weeks setback of doing. Set of doing these back.

I just feel like this is such an important episode for people because like we had, I mean, if we can talk about an expectation hangover, this is it. Like I. So I'm obsessed with starting the new year. Like, you know, that I like love to do our ritual with which, if you guys didn't know, we have a ritual of like always setting our intentions and doing vision boards and that's how we spend our, you know, New Year's Eve. Um, and we did not get to do any of those things this year because we got sick.

We got the V. We got the V. We got the, the V.19.

Yeah. And it was. We didn't get that version of it where people are like, I didn't even know I had it. Like we had 20 different symptoms all at once. We got the bad version, the bad version. We're on day 12 and we are still like, we think we're going to be another week.

You're on day 12, I'm on day 13.

Yeah.

And so Lori got it, I got it, my 71 year old mom got it. And, and let's just start right away by saying we, Laurie and I are a solid 90% plus better and my mom's a solid 70% plus better and we're all in the clear. So that's the really good news. And boy, by the way, people came out of the woodwork, sending supplements and everything. Like, how kind we realized. All right, here's a good segue. Lessons from this setback. One of the lessons, I realized how incredible of human beings we have in our life. When the flowers and the supplements and the medicine and everything just started flooding in.

We didn't have to go and get anything. Like, I was completely just shocked and floored and, you know, from anyone who sent anything, thank you guys so much. It meant the world because we couldn't leave. And by the way, I'm sure people will have questions like, we have no idea where we got it from. Like, literally no clue. We know nobody with it. So very bizarre. But anyway, yes, so grateful for all of the people that just sent text messages and all of the love.

So here's really what I think is valuable for the audience. You and I, we've talked, we've learned a couple of really big things from being forced out of action and being forced to release our expectations to set up the new year. You know, we were all hyped up. We had big goals. We had so much momentum going into 2021, and all of a sudden we were handed a two week timeout. Basically just shy of two weeks. We had to stay in the house. We couldn't leave the house. And like you said, our symptoms were really bad. So we just got stuck on the couch. Now my first lesson is this. Everything is figureoutable. To steal a term from Marie, Forleo and I had to cancel our mastermind for the elite group. But we figured out how to make it even better.

Yes.

And give them two great options. I had to cancel a client who was flying in to do a strategy day with myself and the team. But we figured out how to give her a couple of great options. And at first, these things struck panic in me. Oh, my God. I can't possibly cancel this. Oh, my God. I've got all these people counting on coming and counting on doing this. But once I sat down and figured out with the team, okay, what are alternatives? How can we still win and make everybody have a great experience? How can we still meet our needs and make sure everyone has a great experience? And we figured it out, and it took the stress away of having to panic. When you think the impossible is facing you, there's always a way to solve it.

I just want to point out too, like, for people behind the scenes, like, what this looks like, like, triage, let me just tell you, he was in the middle of being sick, which he would have rather been napping. But I watched you take two full days on the phone with our team, you interviewing a ton of your members of what would be the best option. So you literally called in everyone so that you didn't have to make this decision on your own. You surveyed everyone. There's, there's always a way. And I think that's the thing is we think that we have to come up with the way. But if you ask enough questions, if you're willing to just so transparent with your people, that's really a lesson that I'm learning throughout. This is like, oh my God, tell people you're sick. Let them know what you're, what you're dealing with. Let them help you find the answers. And I think that that was a big lesson for me is be super transparent with everyone and let people help you get to the answer. Because we think that we're coming up with, we have to come up with the answers on our own all the time. When really it's so much better to survey your audience, survey your customer, survey your client. Like, let people in on what you're going through.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. And I'll just add one more thing before we shift to one of your lessons. You know, this is the same time of year. Not only do I have to host the end of the 2020 Elite Mastermind, but it's also where I'm refilling the 2021 Elite Mastermind. And you've seen what that looks like at the beginning of every year. It's a ton of work because I'm literally doing one on one zoom interviews with everyone who fills out the application to make sure we get the absolute perfect mix of businesses and the absolute perfect mix of personalities in each year's class. Because my belief with this Mastermind is that every single thing that they need should be in that room or one introduction away for one year. Right? Like, that's the ride or die homies. And every year we're able to put that together. But it takes probably, you know, 60 to 81 on one Zoom interviews from people that filled out an application and qualified to fill the perfect number of people in that room. And all of a sudden, during the time when I was supposed to be doing those, I couldn't even find the energy to get up off the couch. And yet somehow this thing miraculously filled with the most perfect human beings coming to me, beating down the door, and it's 70% full now. And so I was panicked over, oh my God, I'm going to lose this Production. Oh, my God, I'm going to lose this time. Oh, my God, I'm going to be behind. And all the right people showed up anyways. And so sometimes we just gotta release control and shameless plug too. That means there's 30% of spots open. If somebody on here is an entrepreneur and you're making more than a half a million dollars in 2021, you qualify for the elite. All you have to do is text the word elite to me at 310-421-0416 and we'll start chatting. Or you can just go right to the website for theloveofmighty.com mastermind.

I think that is, you know, that's a perfect segue into one of my biggest lessons, and that is to trust. I mean, we have no idea what's actually happening for us. We really don't. Like, so you have no idea why certain things are actually happening. And I have to be really like, if I'm really looking back at everything, it's kind of like I feel like this happened for me because the ultimate level of surrender and trust that I had to give up 12 days into the new year where I wanted to just, like, burst through the doors with gusto of my new company and really putting puzzle pieces together and the fact that I had to take full time off to figure out just to rest, I, like, had zero energy. What it made me do is say, okay, if this was happening for me, what would be the gifts in this? And it was ultimate trust, ultimate surrender that things can still be happening without me having to be pushing, pushing, pushing. And if you have done the work and if you've been doing the work, and also if you kind of like open your eyes up in your, like, world to this idea that maybe things can be coming to you without you doing the work, then that is absolutely what I started to see. So it was like having these moments of realization that things were still in my inbox, that these people were in my network, and that if I just started opening my eyes to who was already in my network and putting out to social media what I was dealing with or what I was going through and who I was looking for, it was amazing to see with very little effort all of the answers that came flooding in. And also trusting that this was giving me space, space to do research. Like, when else in the world do I have time to just sit on the couch during the day and simply just research co packers? Like, I literally for two days read everything that I possibly could about co packers like, very exciting stuff and email them. And guess what? Got so many answers back. Like, instead of, I have to do this, I have to be on this call. I have to be at this meeting. It's like when really the thing that would get me the most ahead in my in this company was doing research online. And that's what I got the space to do and realized how incredibly important that is.

Yeah.

Hey. Hey.

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Another lesson kind of adjacent to that that I got is to always seek the gift. And then you just mentioned seek the gift. But for me, it was here I was panicking over all these quick moves and big decisions I had to make in, in our businesses. And I, you know, I was watching everybody else out there doing their whole New Year's, new momentum thing. They're, they're being productive. You see them on social media and you just think you're falling behind, you're falling behind, you're falling behind. And I had to start seeking out the gift. And one of the gifts that I sought out and realized, oh, my God, I may never get this again in my life is I got basically 10, 11 days to sit on the couch without a bunch of appointments, without a bunch of interruptions with my wife and my mom. Yes, all three of us were holed up together here, recovering together. Whoever felt best that day took care of the other Two. But I got to sit on the couch and watch movies and binge series and have great conversations with my wife and my mom for 10 days. Plus, uninterrupted. I will probably never get that chance again unless I somehow manufacture it. Not that I would need 10 days, but that, to me was such a gift. I feel like the three of us created some memories. The three of us bonded together. The three of us took care of each other, and it was this. I feel so rested, and I feel like I got all of this craving to just do nothing out of the way, and now I'm totally charged up and ready to go at the pace I want to go going forward.

I love that same. I totally feel that exact same way. And you know something else that was huge for me during this time is because I was really watching how we apply our stories to everything. When if you actually assess what we wanted to get done and what we need to get done, it's not that many things. It's not that big of things. Yes, they're problems, but that's what an entrepreneur is. Without problems, we don't have anything to do. So instead of looking at it like, oh, now I have to solve this. Oh, now I have to solve that. It's like, you get to solve it. And if you start taking away your own personal applied meaning from the things, it takes all the pressure off. Like, I look at how many things we apply meaning to, you know, oh, I'm falling behind. What if we took that off and just said, okay, you know what? Yes, things are potentially stacking up, but there's no reason why I can't take next weekend and Mark thinks things off and just do them one by one. It's the resistance and the thought around the thing that is causing the pressure and the problem. And I know that this is like a big duh, like, no brainer, but you guys, if you start working on taking out your meaning, like, take off the pressure, take out your meaning. Like, just see what that feels like to say. I'm gonna release this because it's not doing me any favors. You will become an entrepreneur ninja. You'll actually become a life ninja. Like, start looking at the problem for what it actually is and tackling it instead of looking at the problem, applying meaning, stressing out over it, creating stories, going down the rabbit hole of all of these different things that aren't actually happening. Like, can you take your emotion out of it? Like, feel it for a moment and then decide to let that go and just watch how it Just becomes a problem that you need to just solve. That's it.

So to start to put a bow on this thing, I want to ask you, and I'll even go first because I'm popping this on you. What is one thing you'll do differently going forward now that you've been given this two week timeout and your expectations flipped upside down? Obviously we both learned a lot from it. And my answer to that question would be, and you guys have heard me say this for this year already, anyways, it reinforces that I can accomplish more with less action. Now, I'm not advocating that people out there take less action, but for me personally, I packed my schedule so tight with so much work and I realized there's probably a good 20 to 30% of the work that I was packing my schedule with that I can shave off and still accomplish just as much, if not more. And that was proven to me when I was forced to do more with less in these two weeks during the busiest time of the year. So I'm going to take that, I'm going to embody that, I'm going to live that and hold myself to that as I go into this year. What's one thing you're going to do different from this?

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I think it's, you know, we've had a lot of talks lately just because we're really this, this will make you evaluate life really quick. Just having all of this extra kind of time and not feeling well and looking at what you have to get done. And I think what it's making me do is really be grateful for the things that we have to do that we get to do. Because we've set up our life where we are constantly having something to do and problems to solve. And I think that we were like, oh my God, we've set up our lives so we always have something that we have to get done. Like, is this what we want to do? And I think the conclusion is that we're not happy unless we're growing and solving problems. You and I have had space. We've gone on a month long vacation before. And while it was so much fun, at the end of it I was like, now what? Like, I love space. But I also know that if I don't give myself a challenge that is new and hard and you know, something that I have to grow into, that I'm actually kind of restless, that I'm always trying to achieve this, like, higher version of myself. And while I was like, God, do I have a problem? I'm always wanting to achieve, achieve, achieve, instead of looking like, do I have a problem? Why am I never content? I love solving problems. I love that I get to meet a bigger, higher version of myself sometimes every month. Like, that excites me. And when I focus on that, that I, like, get to stretch in this way and get to meet parts of myself that maybe some people never, ever awaken or live into. That is exciting to me. Like, I wanna. I want to live this life till the wheels fall off.

I love that I am definitely signed up for reframing. When we have challenges in front of us, remembering that we're not happy unless we're solving challenges on a daily basis instead of just wishing for all of this nothingness, you know, because we really are happiest when we're solving. It's the same reason you play a video game. Not that you play video games, but maybe same reason people do. It's the same way. Same reason people, you know, do any of these things where you have to create these little problems, these little challenges to solve in your life, or you're not happy unless you're solving challenges.

Yeah. It's so interesting because I think of the times when we've had nothingness and it's like we don't enjoy the space or the vacation without, like, coming off of something that we feel really proud about. I don't know about you, but taking like a vacation in the midst of already feeling like you're not doing something that you want to be doing just feels like more frustration.

Yep, I totally agree. All right, guys. And you heard me reference it before. We have 30% of the spots left in our Elite Mastermind for the 2021 class. This year we cut the class in half. So it's more quality over quantity. It comes with. This is literally the only elite mastermind for people who are earning over a half a million dollars a year in gross revenue. It's the only one that this level where I know the host myself mixes in monthly one on one coaching at the same time as being a mastermind. So if you want to apply, text the word elite to me at 310-421-0416 or go to fortheloveofmoney.com mastermind. Check it all out there and fill out the application. I can't wait to see who these last few people are that I get to lock arms with and be our ride or die for this year.

Oh, it's so exciting. Chris, I was just talking to you on one of our first walks yesterday about the people who have gone through your program and the crazy, wild success that they have hit. People hitting, you know, seven figures who have never even dreamt of it. So freaking exciting. You guys definitely go and check that out if you feel called to that because you can't imagine what you can do in one year of business. So clearly my voice is going. So I'm so grateful for you guys.

I love it. All right, guys, once again, if you want to apply for that, go to fortalovemoney.com forward/mastermind or just text me the word elite to 310-421-1047. Thanks for listening and we'll be back on a regular schedule finally going forward.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye Bye. Don't.