657. 3 Things That Will Elevate Your Biz + Relationships

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We are constantly seeking out couples that are doing and living the way we want to live and tapping into them for guidance. And we are constantly seeking out the propaganda, the podcasts and the books that are explaining the tips and tricks how to have the relationship that you want to have.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of the Bliss Project, three time fitness world champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for some to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go.

And we're back.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said. I feel. Feel like we had a, like a nice break, even though it was because we were sick, but we had a nice break. And I'm super recharged and energized to be back on these.

Yeah, I mean, it was a couple of week break. And our last episode was, you know, recorded right after that break. And we talked about how it ended up being such a gift as opposed to being a bad thing that we had a couple weeks to recover. Anyhow, we wanted to go from talking about perspective in the last episode to giving you something really tangible in this one. And we really wanted to share because we are having this conversation about this this morning. We really wanted to share this handful of things that tie together business and relationships. I guess what I'm trying to say is there's a handful of things out there that have everything to do with having a successful business. And those exact same things have everything to do with having a successful relationship.

So what do relationships and business have in common? And our first tip or our first kind of commonality is that you must have an unwavering standard of who is in your life.

Repeat that with a little bit more like, wow, because this one is real.

You must have an unwavering standard of who's in your life.

When I said that this morning when we were talking, I was like, know what, babe? You just have to have an unwavering standard of who's in your life. And we went off on this tangent. I was like, this is a really important, powerful statement. So let's kind of. I don't know if you want to separate these. As you guys can tell, they're not very planned out episodes. It's the two of us rambling on here, but let's kind of separate these. Why does it have to do with business? Why does it have to do with relationships?

Well, this is huge because you. You literally take on the traits and become the people that you are around the most. And let's. I'm gonna just use the relationship example.

First and then I'll do business.

Yes. So the relationship example. You know, there've been times in our lives, especially when we moved. I remember we. When we moved out to California, we ended up going out with this couple who, like, picked on each other the whole time. They did not get along. It was not a very enjoyable experience, but we enjoyed like them individually, but they were just not a great couple. We were out to dinner and I was like, wow, I do not want this to become my normal. And I know that if we start hanging around with couples like that who all kind of, like, bicker or put the other one down, that that would start to feel normal to me and it would be acceptable and that. That it would infiltrate our relationship. And we went home that night, we drove in the car ride on the way home, and we said, never again. We will never let that, like, poison into our relationship. So that might sound super extreme to people, but that's what I mean by an unwavering standard is to me, it felt like these little tiny, like, roots that you maybe don't see getting into your relationship and sneaking their way in. And then all of a sudden, before you know it, it's too late because it's kind of started to strangle what you both had. And that is like the utmost respect and admiration for your partner, knowing that what you say about them and to them is a reflection of yourself. And I'll tell you, it was just like this moment of like, no, never, no way, never again. I will not let that into my world.

And I'll tell you what, even if you are single right now and you're hearing this, this also goes for you. Like, I know we said relationships and business, what are the common ties? But really, it's life and business. What are the common ties? Because you need to have this unwavering standard of who's going to have influence on you. Because when you spend time around people, they are either filling you up real slowly, little bit by bit by bit at a time, or they are sucking away from you real slowly, bit by bit by bit at a time. And you don't even realize it's happening sometimes. But one of the things you can tune into is just like Lori said, we're driving home from this dinner. This was years ago, by the way. But we're like, wait, how did they make us feel? And it didn't fill us up. Being around the two of them individually, cool people, them as a couple, it didn't fill us up with any joy. It didn't fill us up with any value. We decided right then and there, hey, we're not going to hang around them as a couple because we're going to have this unwavering standard of who is in our life. We do this with friends, we do this with business partners. To tie this into business, guys, this is why we join Masterminds. This is also why we run Masterminds is because it's a container where we can literally absolutely count on the fact that when someone signs up for that, it means they're motivated, it means they're driven. It means that they want to advance their business. It means they want to collaborate. It means all of these things that we are seeking in people, that we want to surround ourselves with in business. So from your coaches to your peers to your partners to just people that you follow on Instagram or anywhere, you gotta have an unwavering standard of who those people are gonna be.

Yeah, it's so interesting. It's like when we grew up, your parents wouldn't let you hang out with bullies from school because they knew that you would turn into a bully. Like, all of a sudden you're punching a kid.

Oh, my God, the bad kid. Remember, parents be like, you can't hang out with them. You'd be like, why? Exactly. You just can't. They're not good, you know, so whatever.

You know, it's the same reason why people want to meet people when they first move somewhere or just in life in general, in their church. Like, it's the same ex. Because they know that they'll most likely have the same ideas, core values and interests. So it's. It's that common theme throughout of, like, knowing what you want and then, you know, especially you had mentioned just masterminds. Like, we know we love to talk business. We know that. We know we love big dreamers. We know we love to expand. We know that we love challenges, and we want to talk through those with people. That's what a mastermind does. Okay, point two. You must always be growing. Getting guidance from the beginning before it's too late.

Yeah, I'm so big on this one. Here's what I want to say to everyone listening right now. You don't go get guidance or coaching or help when things are bad. You go get them while things are good. That's how you keep momentum going and take it to the next level. Here's where most people go wrong. They think, I'll get a coach when things go wrong and they'll fix it for me. Or I'll join a mastermind when. When things are. Are stagnant, and that'll fix it for me. Oh, I'll go change business partners or I'll get a new social media agency, or I'll get a new whatever once things are stalled. And that'll fix it for me. No, that's why you're always fixing instead of always, you know, just printing money. The key to life and the key to business. Is that you get the guidance while you have the momentum and that's what keeps the momentum. You see, momentum is the hardest thing to get. It really is. It's the hardest thing to get going. It's the most valuable thing you can have and then it's the easiest thing to lose. And so to keep the momentum, once you have the momentum, you need to make sure you are seeking out the next best coach, the next best, you know, tribe, the next best guidance, next best counselor. If we're going to tie this back into relationships, the next best couples master, whatever it might be, you need to seek that guidance and that, that coaching while things are good, not when they're bad.

Yeah, right now I'm gonna apply this just to my business. Building light pink right now, you know, with my, I, I am asking questions when I get the opportunity to get on the phone with people. After creating that opportunity, I just wanna point out, I always wanna say those things. Cause people are like, oh, it must be nice to have this network. No, I am legitimately reaching out, doing 10, 15, 20 reach out emails a day. Imagine how your business would change if you did that proactively. And that also goes, imagine if you were that proactive in your relationship, saying 10, 20 nice things to your partner, asking them how they are in a day. You know, and in what I'm doing from the beginning of this business is literally saying where are the places where new founders like myself go wrong? And you know, I've gotten a lot of answers and one of the biggest one is like with my supply chain, like where do I get my ingredients, where am I sourcing my wine, where am I getting my co packer, where, you know, who am I choosing for distribution? So what I did from the beginning is say how can I get guidance on this from the beginning instead of having to get someone to come in and fix the mess later. Because that's typically what happens in a startup is people end up spending hundreds of thousands of dollars or making these large mistakes. Instead of asking from the beginning, where do most people go wrong? Injecting maybe more money than you want in the beginning, but knowing that it is fixing it's gonna save you from, you know, a large mistake later. I got the best advice from someone and it was like, just make sure that your main goal is that you're making, you know, mistakes that only cost you a thousand dollars or 10,000 or 20,000 compared to the hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars in mistakes. And I think we can apply that to our, our marriages Our relationships, our friendships, make sure that you're making those small mistakes and asking questions along the way like, hey, you know, how can we make this better? Where do you feel like you're not being seen, heard? Where do you think that our, you know, a problem in our relationship is, if there is one at all, like being really proactive, you know, when it.

Comes to the relationship side and seeking guidance and seeking inspiration, while things are good, not waiting till they're bad, a lot of people will have a marriage counselor while things are good. Like, I think they call them tune ups and I think that's a really cool idea. We haven't done done that yet, but our version of that is we are constantly seeking out couples that are doing and living the way we want to live and tapping into them for guidance. And we are constantly seeking out the propaganda, the podcasts and the books that are explaining the tips and tricks how to have the relationship that you want to have. And we are constantly looking for relationship inspiration. And if it's a person asking them for clues, if it's a resource downloading it for, for clues to guide us on where we want to go.

And we've been to our. When events were around, we definitely went to our fair share of events on personal development and working together as a couple. And I'll tell you, like, you know, whether, you know, you're a husband, a wife, whatever, your partner listening to this, and maybe one of you is like, eh, I'm not really into that. That's the difference is if you're not really into it, but you're still willing to try it on and then not make fun of the partner if they're into it, Like, I think that is where the breakdown comes is, you know what, just try it. Like, see, potentially, like, ask your partner and get curious. Like, what do you love about this? Like, I don't love this. This is uncomfortable. But why is it helping you? And then if it's really helping them, just get on board for them. I think that's what you did for me in the beginning. And then you realize, like, you probably were on day four of something, hour 39,000, and you probably realized that it would be better to just maybe lean in and try to find something interesting or find the value. And then you finally did.

Yeah, absolutely.

All right, number three. In a relationship and in a business, you need a vision and a goal and a set of ideals on how you operate.

Say it again. In a relationship and in a business, you need a manifesto, a target.

A target. Something that you're always striving for something. You know that that vision that you want for your family, that vision that you want for each other as a couple. And it's. Why, why do you want these things like in a business and in a relationship is because you want what it does is it, it informs you of when you are off track. That's all it is. It's an informer. I really want to sing the informer song. Informer, you know.

Oh wow, you nailed it.

Boom, boom, down. Come on. Nobody in the world knows what he actually says there. And if you do, let me know. And if you can wrap it, that's even better.

You're about to get 100 dms with it. But this is so true. If you don't have a target, then you're just kind of shooting blindly and you're not going to hit where you know where you want to go. And if you don't have a set of guidelines on what you're going to represent as a couple and what you're going to represent as a company, then you're going to be operating blindly and you're going to be guessing and that is going to be the most inefficient way whether it's to thrive as a couple, whether it's to thrive as a business that you can possibly operate. And that's going to increase your chances significantly of making mistakes. And so you've got to have a written set of guidelines on how you want to show up as a business. You've got to have a written set of guidelines of how you want to show up as an individual or as a couple. The same thing that has to do with living a good life has to do with running a good business. And that is having a target. And what do you want to call it? Some commandments? A manifesto, so to speak.

Core values manifesto, Whatever you want to call it, you have ours.

I do have ours. Let me look it up real quick here.

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So I think that this is, you know, this is something that we actually made recently because Chris And I were like, wait, we have a set of core values. We have, like, this standard that we apply to ourselves that we didn't really. I mean, we knew that we were doing it. We know that whenever we get in fights, we know that whenever we get in hard times, we have these certain things that we say to each other. We have these certain things that we say about it in general. And we wanted to write these all down so people could know what it is. That actually how we reframe, right. A manifesto is just like, how do you reframe the bullshit when life happens and just happens over and over and over again? By the way, you guys, I think it's really easy for people to look at our life and be like, oh, they must never have bad things happen. But we absolutely are. Have become experts in referring back to these things that make us reframe the things that happen and turn them into lessons or good things.

Okay, I found them. Here's our couple's manifesto, so to speak. The success of our relationship and family is dependent on the words we say, the actions we perform, and prayers we pray on any given day. We believe with all our being that everything is working out in our favor, no matter what. We show up in the face of hardship. We lean into God and vow to always get bigger than the problem. We strive to leave every person we encounter better than we found them and work to guide them into their greatness. We communicate openly early and often and promise to always keep growing and seeking new purpose. We prioritize, play, laugh, love friends, travel dates, and vow to always try on each other's crazy ideas to see if it's a fit today, tomorrow, and forever. That's our couple's manifesto. That's what Lori and I sat down and wrote together in order to always have this. I don't know, this vision, this target, to come back to this set of operating guidelines. And when you've got the set of. Of being this way of being that you get to always come back to, it helps you make decisions in tough times when it feels like everything's unraveling.

Yeah, I literally love that so much. And I actually want to put it as the screensaver in the back of my phone so that whenever I'm feeling crazy, whenever I'm feeling like I can't overcome something, whenever I'm pissed off at you, whatever, I can just pull that up and we can read it and be annoyed and then reframe right away.

What do you think is one of the most important things in here that we have in our man. I'll give you example. For me, it's that we always are willing to try things on for size. So when you bring an idea to me or when I bring an idea to you, we're not discounting it right away, and we're not making the other person feel bad about the idea. We literally have this policy that, okay, I'm going to try it on for size, and if it's a fit, great. By the way, a lot of things I think are not going to be a fit end up being a fit for us. And then if it's not a fit, at least you honor the other person by giving it a good, honest shot. That's the one that stands out to me. What about you?

You know, the one that stands out right away for me is we show up in the face of hardship and lean into God. Because I really believe that hardship is how we find ourselves. We find our purpose, we find our meaning, and how we get closer as a couple and how we get stronger in our faith. So it's kind of like. It also helps me when I think of it that way. I don't look at problems as big problems. I look at them as opportunities to get bigger and better.

I love that. You know, we actually have this manifesto because we're in a couple's mastermind, and that was one of our versions of seeking out guidance is by being in a couple's mastermind that takes a bunch of business couples but makes them put their relationship first. And now that couples mastermind that we're in, that has no openings at all right now. But our business mastermind, our elite entrepreneur mastermind, does have about 20% of the spots left for 2021. So if you're listening to this right now, and you want literally point number one that we made up, which is an unwavering standard of incredible human beings in your life and in your business to collaborate with. And if you want somebody help guide you on a target and help guide you on your core values. And it honestly, if you're looking for all those people that you say, dang it, where's the people that get me? Where's the people understand why I'm so driven, why I'm such a hard charger. Guys, this is the container every single year where those people are. That's why Lori and I belong to these things. So, anyhow, I'll spare you the big sales pitch, but I will tell you we've got a handful of spots left if you are interested in our elite Entrepreneur Mastermind. You have to be earning over a half a million dollars this year in 2021. You have to be earning over 500 grand in gross revenue this year in 2021. And if that's you, I want you to do one of two things. Either go to forthelovemoney.com mastermind, check out the details there and fill out the application, or simply text me Elite to 310-421-0416. Those are the two things God do right now. Go to for the love of my com Mastermind. Check it out. Fill out the app. We'll jump on a zoom to see if it's a fit for you. Or just text me the word Elite so we can text back and forth about it at 310-421-0416 all right guys.

Thank you so much for tuning in and as always, we love, love love to see what your biggest takeaway was. Are you gonna make a manifesto? What did you love about it? What really hit you? It's always powerful for us to be in touch with our audience so we can give you what you is really resonating with you the next time.

Thanks for listening guys. We always appreciate you.

Bye bye.

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Bye bye. Sam.