66: The Universe Has YOUR Back with GABBY BERNSTEIN

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Welcome to the Earn your happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and today I'm thrilled for you to listen into this conversation with my very special guest, Gabrielle Bernstein. And I've had the honor of having her on the show not too long ago and this conversation that we had today is absolutely mind blowing. And she has been named a new thought leader by Oprah Winfrey. She appears regularly as an expert on the Dr. Oz show, and she was named a new role model by the New York Times. She is a New York Times best selling author and she has been a long mentor of mine. And today we are having a conversation about her new book, the Universe has your Back that you just so happen to be able to purchase today. I'm telling you, this is definitely one of my favorite books. I will be purchasing this book for everybody and in this conversation you will learn how to know that the universe has your back, how to manifest different things in your life, and she really gets vulnerable and shares different stories and how to use these tools and so do I. I'm going to share a couple things with you that have really rocked my world. And this book is going to be able to guide you in a way that really gives you the tools to use daily right away, instantly. So I can't wait for you to listen in to our conversation. So let's get started. Gabby, I am so excited to have you on the podcast again. I feel like this is like my lucky day. How are you?

It's my lucky day. I got so many messages all over social media after I did your podcast. Everybody was like, I heard you on Lori's podcast. I heard you on Lori's podcast. So I'm glad to be back. I know you got lots of listeners. It's so cool.

Oh my goodness. I really feel like people are like, oh, I love your podcast. I'm like, I love my podcast. It's like an hour of free Coaching for myself. I just get on with people who I'm, like, excited to chat with. So, yeah, I. I am beyond thrilled about your new book. I have been reading it feverishly and underlining it, and my husband, like, literally, I'm like, tomorrow, when I'm done with the book, you have to read this book. So I have all of these people that I love set up for when they have to read this book because it literally has changed my life again. So I'm thrilled about it. And I wanna know why this book now. So it's called the Universe has yous Back. I just wanna hear why now?

Well, first of all, I'm so glad you liked the book. And it makes me really happy because you've read my other books, so I know that you've sort of seen the evolution. So it means a lot coming from a former reader to say that this is serving you. So thank you for that. I appreciate it very much. And I like it too, which I'm really excited to share. It's good. I'm proud of it. Okay, so the subtitle is Transform Fear to Faith. So the title is the universe has your back. Transform Fear to Faith. And I think that subtitle says everything. The book is really about strengthening your faith in a spiritual relationship of your own understanding. And why now? I wrote this book now because I believe that we are living in such tumultuous, scary times that without some type of faith of our own understanding, like I said, it's not my faith. It's not a religious faith. It's a faith that we establish for ourselves, but without having some kind of anchor and some kind of belief beyond our physical sight or we will spin out during these times, and we will feel powerless. We will feel conflicted, we will feel separate. We will feel disconnected from others and judgmental and low vibe. And we will feel like life has no flow and no purpose if we don't have some kind of practice for deepening a faithful way of living. So that's the reason I wrote this book and why I wrote it now. And I got to tell you, I mean, I wrote this book in 2015, and obviously things have just gotten crazier and crazier in the world. And I had a premonition that it was gonna come out at a time that we would need it most. And here we are right before the election, right before a lot of changes could occur in our world. And so I just feel this is a need. And I have addressed that need in this book.

It's so good. And that's so true. It's really powerful because for me, it has always been a habit. Growing up, I believe fear is a habit. It's like you feed it and you're so connected to it that for a really long time before I started reading your books, I would literally scan my day. If I felt peace for even a moment, I would scan my day for what is wrong? And I would literally be like, why do I feel okay? What's going on? Why do I feel okay? What's wrong? And I would just. So I always felt trapped. So no matter what, even at a really young age, I remember feeling that way. And now if something's wrong, I scan okay. What's right? How can I let go? How can I. I have more peace. And I think that's. This is just a guidebook to have more peace. And I found when I connect into peace, when I connect into source, God, universe, whatever you guys believe in, it's like beautiful things can come from that place. You can actually find your purpose. You can actually figure out what your role is in the world. You can actually help other people. So that has been so powerful for me. So I know I talked about this quote in the last one, but it is just. It's following me everywhere. So the presence of fear is a sure sign you're trusting in your own strength. So can you speak to that again? Just how do we connect in. And when we go to that place of fear, like I was talking about before, what are some things that you do?

So first is accepting and knowing. That is knowing that fear is a sign that you're. That you're trying to lead with your own will and that you're trying to make things happen or force outcomes or control a situation. And it's also a sure sign that you're out of alignment with your source, with the energy of love, with an energy of. Of. Of truth, which is our birthright, which is who we are. And whenever we're out of alignment with that loving energy and that loving belief system and thought system, that's when we are in fear. And so this entire book is actually countless exercises in turning over that fear and surrendering and reclaiming that loving presence, whether it be a meditation or a thought form that you need to change, or of thinking about your experiences and your circumstances or a prayer. The shifts throughout the book are subtle and they add up one upon the next. And as you begin to be in these practices, you start to strengthen your faith in that loving presence. I think a big thing Also about this book is that when you ask me, how do you go from that fear to faith? I think a big way is that we have to be first and foremost conscious, like you just read of how fear is taking us out. And that's really the first step is just becoming so aware of our resistance and so aware of how fear blocks our life and how fear keeps us stuck in physical pain and emotional distress and relationship issues and that there is a way through all those blocks if we choose to have a spiritual path.

So beautiful. So I know a lot of people, you know, I've actually been talking about this topic on Facebook lives a lot. I love to do them in the morning. And a lot of the that I get back is okay. I'm practicing this, I'm trying this, I'm doing this for a lot of newer people, you know, giving up or focusing on faith over fear. But then they say, but why is this happening to me? Or why am I still stuck in this job? Or why is this going on? So, I mean, I know that I. So many of the lessons that are happening are there because maybe we're not getting the lessons yet, but what are some of the questions maybe we could be asking instead of but why? Why is this happening to me?

I think a lot of people get in that story of like, why am I still stuck? Why, why, why? It's all just because of resistance. When things begin to flow in our life, it's when we're in the absence of resistance. And resistance stems from fear based thoughts. And then that fear based thoughts create an energy. And that energy is what keeps us stuck in old patterns and stuck in fearful patterns and negative patterns. And so how do we reclaim that loving energy first begins with our thinking and our feeling. And then we begin to reprogram and recondition the way that we were living so that we can have a different experience of life.

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You know I was reading in okay, which chapter was it about the house. I think it was chapter five with the house hunting, so. So I know that you did a. I listened to basically all of your lectures, so I loved that. This book actually has a ton of what you've talked about, but it's written out, so now I can go back and practice everything and use the language around it and be able to say the prayer. So, you know, I actually used this. I remember you were talking about. I think you guys were just either maybe it was your fiance at the time, but now husband, and you guys were searching for your home, and Chris and I had gone through the same thing. And we live in la, and it's like the market is the exact same. It's like a house will come on the market and be gone an hour later. And we needed to find somewhere to live fast. And we were getting stressed. We were getting upset. We were like, oh, my gosh, these places are total crap. So I was, like, laughing when I was reading that because I used your exercises. I was like, chris, we need to go for a walk. I'm like, okay, we have to be in faith, and this has to be fun. Like, we have to know that we are being provided for and that God is abundant and he wants us to be happy. And this is, you know, we have to be able to not go to that fear place. And when we do, just offer it up. And I have to tell you, literally, it happened like a miracle. And all I can think about is all of these different things that just continually offering it up and offering it up and offering it up. And this also happened with a friend of mine who knew that, you know, I shared this story about listening to your podcast and then going in and getting the house of our dreams. And she ended up just closing on her home, like, last week. And it was all because of this chapter five that you talked about. The universe works fast when you're having fun and you were chatting about house hunting. So can you tell us a little bit more about having that happen? You know, different experiences like that happening in your life?

Yeah. You know, I think that it's so funny because it's like, I know all these things and I teach all these things, but most importantly, I live all these things. And so it's like, the reason I can teach with so much conviction is because I've lived it. And there's so many instances where I find myself in that resistance because I'm just, like, stuck in a story of, like, this isn't going to work or the market is terrible. Or, you know, just what we get, our default button, which is that negativity and that lack of. And so the moment that you reorganize and say, you know, I'm going to have fun with this, I'm going to choose to make this process fun, or I'm going to choose to make this job that I hate fun, or I'm going to choose to make, you know, this relationship more fun. The moment that you bring fun into the mix, then you begin to flow. That's when you start to begin to receive more intuitive ideas and feel more energized and become more sexy and become more attractive. And that energy of fun is very magnetic, and it creates. It creates the sense of free flow, and it opens invisible doors. And so the blocks that may have been presented to you when you're in that negative story can be dissolved in the presence of fun. And it's quite simple. It's like, just lean into how you can turn something into more fun. And so in the case of my husband and I looking for this house, we were just having such a miserable time looking for these apartments in New York City. And we said, wouldn't it be fun if we just looked in the country to see what's out there in the country? And then I tell the story of how our idea of what we thought we needed was quite the opposite. And we completely redirected our search, and through a series of different signs and adventures, we found our way to what is now my home in the mountains. And I'm sitting here now, looking out the window at the most epic view of the mountain valley in my mountain house with the door open and the breeze just blowing on my face. And I honestly, I'm so glad that I let joy and fun lead the way, because I am in heaven right here, right now.

I love seeing on your Instagram, just knowing that inspiration is just flowing. It's stunningly gorgeous. It's truly like that place where you're able to create in free flow. And I love, love, love seeing that, because now I love hearing the story, too.

And the important thing to mention is, like, when they read the story, this is a very important story in the book. I'm not going to give you the whole thing away, because I want them to read it, but the important thing to know here is that I thought I needed something very different. Right? So the presence of fear. Know true prayer is to forget what you think you need, right? So true prayer is to forget what you think you need. And then the presence of fear is you're relying on your own strength, as you said earlier. So if I'm relying on my own strength, thinking I need something a certain way, I was blocking what I really needed, right? So I was looking, looking, looking for this apartment in New York City, when really what I needed was to get the freak out of the city and. And rent in the city and be living more of the time in the country. And I couldn't have known that logically and fun was what cleared the energetic path for me to let the universe show me what was right for me. And that's a huge message throughout this book is how to get out of the way and how to let the universe lead you so that you can see something far beyond what your logical mind could have created.

Wow. I think of that all the time because I used to think. I used to think my career was going to be completely different. I was like, I want to be this fitness, like, you know, icon, like, I wanted to be like Jillian Michaels and be on Biggest Loser and do that. And now I can't even fathom if that actually happened. And it didn't happen for me for a long time, and I was pushing it and, like, why isn't this happening and why isn't this door opening and what's going on? And it was the worst feeling ever. It was no longer fun at all. I noticed I was in a really, like, I was in a comparison mind frame. I started to feel really bad about myself. I felt like I wasn't enough. And as soon as I let that go and said, you know what? I'm just enjoying what I'm doing now. I'm. I'm so grateful for what I'm doing now. Let me be led. Let me be. This is really when I found you and Marianne Williamson, and it was just like. It was so freeing, number one. And number two, I finally got into the space of that's not what I want to do at all. Like, that it wasn't happening because it wasn't for me. And being able to open up to the opportunity of, wow, this is where my heart is, like, soaring and singing is being able to do so many other things that I just didn't even. They weren't even in the plans for me. So it's just really beautiful to open up to these, you know, feel like when we let go, it just, you know, creates all of that room for all of these beautiful things. So, yeah. Yeah, it's really beautiful.

And look at all the gifts and the talent that you would have been denying the world as this teacher that you are. Right. Had you followed that path of like, trying to be the fitness guru, it's like, you can still be this fitness guy, but then this other level of teaching that's come through you as a result of not being narrow minded. Right. And that would be like such a. Such a misstep if we had not gotten this type of teaching out of you. Right. So it's a very good example.

Oh, thank you. I'm like, I'm so beyond grateful because now it's just once you know where you're supposed to be, you can't. I can't even. I can't even imagine. So I'm really grateful that I had faith in that area. And I have to tell you, as I was reading your book, I am so grateful for your vulnerability in this book and your stories. I could resonate with every single story. I was like, brought to tears with, with so many of them because I'm gonna cry right now because I could just. I feel that everyone who reads them is going to completely. It's them, it's us, we're all the same. And it's so beautiful. Like the story about not getting invited to a party or being told you're entitled. I mean, that stuff doesn't feel good. I think people think it's all smooth sailing after, you know, a certain point. And we can still see like, oh, this one. I have to talk about this one. The. When you were talking about, you know, you felt like a fraud because you felt you were still judging people sometimes, even though you were writing this book and putting great things out into the world and, you know, maybe that was blocking you. Can you share a little bit of that with us?

Yeah, that chapter actually is becoming a book. Like that chapter of the book about judgment is in the, you know, in the form of a proposal right now. And that's gonna be my next book. I mean, that was such a big topic in this book that I was like, I can write an entire book on this chapter. You know, and it was all. And it's big. You know, we take everybody else's inventory, we judge other people. We are in so much separation. We have, you know, these just such a. Such a divisive time that we're living in with what's going on politically and what's going on, you know, religiously throughout the world. And obviously all the terrorism that we're experiencing and just one thing after the next is just based on separation and all of that. The root cause of that separation is judgment. Judgment, seeing someone as separate from God. And that chapter is about looking at our judgment and a pathway to clearing and detoxing from that judgment so that we can begin to clear more space to allow the presence of the universe to flow through us. Because judgment is literally like one of the biggest blocks to the presence of that inspiration and flow of joy. And it had to be addressed. And I addressed it later in the book because I felt like we needed to warm up to it. And then later in the book, we could go deeper. Yeah. You know, it's funny. It's so nice to hear you kind of call in all these. These messages because I. You know, you write the book and then you step away from it for a while. It's nice to hear you kind of getting into it.

I've literally. It's been coming up in my. I think I opened the book two weeks ago, and I randomly. I've been reading it and kind of rereading it because I'm. I like to practice it as well. And I've had so many opportunities like that opportunities come into my space of using. Using these. And really, I look at that. So challenging things that come into my life, truly now I'm able to view them as opportunities. And that in and of itself is freedom. I'm like, oh, this must be an area where I really get to grow and expand and thrive and use this later to teach or just really be able to create more freedom and happiness in my life. So when things come in, maybe it's something. I'm out there in social media a lot, so maybe it's something on social media. And I actually had this last week. Something happened, and it created this whole topic around judgment. And then I read your chapter on judgment. So I like to do Facebook lives. I do them in the morning, first thing. Hair? No, no, haven't brushed my hair yet. No makeup. And a woman went on there and was like, wow, you're looking really rough. And I was like, okay, awesome. This is like my opportunity to really love this woman back. But it brought up, because there were so many people on it, Judgment. And it made me. You know, when people judge other people, when I'm judging other people, it's sending a message to myself that says, it's not safe because we need to measure against each other. And so I looked at my life immediately, like, oh, where am I judging? I'm still judging people in my life, like, silently, without realizing it. And I know that we all do it, but it's like, where was I taught or why am I measuring against this person? Why am I not just seeing them as love or as. For me, I'm like, okay, how does God view this person? That's been really powerful for me to kind of look at them and say, okay.

And in the book, we talk about how to see someone for the first time. Because when we're in that place of judgment, we're just projecting our own pain and our own suffering. And when we start to see people for the first time, we can take away all the projections that we've placed upon them and we're left with our own stuff, right? We're left to look at our own side of the street. And so I think that there's. There's a huge healing that occurs when you start to take an inventory of your judgment because you can see all the disowned parts of your shadow that you've been avoiding. So I've been a big practice of this lately. It is like a spiritual colonic. It's painful and it's tough, but it's so revealing, and it's fulfilling when you can move past that habit and move into the other way. All of these sort of difficult practices, while it's uncomfortable to look at our fear or witness or judgment, they're all in the mission. They're all behind the mission of stepping into a new way of being and a new way of perceiving our lives and a new way of flowing. And, you know, the promise of this book is if you follow these practices and you show up for these lessons and you let the stories touch you and move you, that you can begin to see the world with a whole new lens, and that your experiences may not change, but your experience of your experiences change. And in that shift, you start to look at your life in a whole different way. And in that new lens, you start to experience things with a lot more flow, a lot more joy, a lot more abundance, a lot more health, a lot more freedom. And you also feel a sense of safety because you now have the practices and the tools to get back into that practice whenever you want to fall back into it.

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It's really, really powerful and it's really beautiful. And I can't tell you, I'm going back to a time before I used these when I felt constant anxiety, I felt constant push and pressure in comparison and completely opposite of love and peace. Complete opposite. And I really know that when you practice these and if you guys go out and you get this book, it is like a completely. Just like Gabby just said, it's a completely different way of being. The blessings that have rolled into my life in the room, in the space, and the way that I can see people is like, it's better than I could have ever possibly fathomed. Like, you can't actually explain these feelings and just this connectedness and this knowing that you experience when you practice everything that's in this book. That's why I cannot even wait for people to get their hands on it because it is so, so powerful. So I just want to talk about one other story that you tell in this book because I'm always trying to explain this to people and I know you're going to be able to explain it much better than me. But you talk about the woman at the party who was basically being really loud and needing attention and you recognizing yourself in her. Can you explain? Can you explain that?

Yeah. Yeah. I almost want to. Don't. Almost don't want to give all the stories away, though. The overview is like, I was in complete judgment of this woman and she was so loud and bombastic and just obnoxious. And I. And I just kept, like, avoiding her. And at the dinner, I just kept noticing her, like, look at me and staring at me at the dinner table. And I was down the table, like, drinking my seltzer. And, you know, I've been sober almost at this point, almost at 11 years now. So next week I'll be 11 years sober. So I was like, you know, sipping my soda, and she was looking at me across the table, and I was like, why the hell is she staring me down? She was annoying the hell out of me. And I. I found my way to just, like after the dinner to just find my own. My own way to sit outside and just have some peace. And she starts walking up to me, and I'm like, oh, shit, I don't feel like talking to this annoying woman. And she comes up to me and she says, listen, I noticed that you weren't drinking. I said, yes, I've been sober. At the time, it was like coming up on 10 years sober at 10 years. And she looked at me and she said, I've got seven years, and it's the greatest achievement of my life. And in that moment, it's just. Just everything just dissolved. Like all this love flooded in. And I just felt so deeply connected because I witnessed that all the things that I was judging her for, all that loud behavior and the negative, you know, the obnoxious need to be seen, was my alcoholism, my ego. And all the pride that she had in her recovery was my pride in my sober recovery. So I could look at her, and in that moment, I could recognize that she was me and that all that oneness just settled in. And so I think that there's great gifts in practicing these tools because we're going to continuously be placed in front of opportunities. As you said earlier, there's a whole chapter called Obstacles or Detours in the Right Direction. And those obstacles present us with opportunities to see with light. And the more we show up for those obstacles as opportunities, the more we begin to heal. And that's what this is about. So if you want to feel free, if you want to feel powerful, if you want to feel healthy, if you want to feel connected, if you want to feel happier in relationships and more abundant in your career and more physically healthy, then this is a book for you. Because the whole book is about clearing the path. And you know, Laurie, I'm so excited as we talk about the books out today. I'm so proud of this book. I'm of so proud. So I can share it. And I want to make sure, I mean, everybody, if they go to the URL, they'll give you. Now, you could put this on the page too. Is a URL that if you go buy the book from Gabby, if you go, you know, grab it on Amazon or wherever, and then go to gabbyburnstein.com newbook, you can get a six and a half hour digital course based on the principles of the book. And so that would normally be valued hundreds of dollars and it's free when you just order when you drop your receipt into this page. So go grab the book and then go to gabbynstein.com forward/new book. And then you can also bring the book to life. With the six and a half hour training that I give live and well, I don't give it live. It's video from a live event. It's pretty awesome. So that's it.

You guys must go and get it because I will tell you, this will be a handbook in my life for the rest of my life. It's like one of those I don't want to forget about. So I'm going to leave it out, I'm going to mark the pages. I have already underlined basically everything in this book because it's things I'm. I already this morning had the opportunity to even use it with somebody who is really having a difficult time with her boss at work and just really wanted to use, you know, a lot of colorful language around her boss. And I just was like, oh my gosh. Because it was so fresh in my mind I was able to, first of all, I was like, oh my, you have to get this book. But I was able to pull from all of the different things I had these amazing tools. So it's not just giving peace to yourself, it's literally having the tools to be able to help people in your life. So I know so many people don't know how to be of service and I love that prayer of just asking how can I serve today? Or you know, how do you wanna use me? Has been one of the biggest life changing things for me. And just being open to listen to that. So not only does this book really help you with your life, but it is like the most beautiful gift you guys. So I'm telling you, get your Christmas presents because I'm getting, literally I'm getting this for everybod in my entire like life and family. So I'm so grateful for you and I'm so grateful for you sharing everything like I know it. Sometimes all of the different things feel like crap when you're going through them or all the tough things. But man, when, when they're shared and they're used for teaching and they're used to just expand, it's like the most beautiful. It's so beautiful. So now things don't look like, ah, why is this happening? It's like, okay, wow, I have the opportunity to really grow, get stronger and. And have another tool. So I'm so grateful for you. So what in your life are you most excited about right now?

What I'm most excited about is my forthcoming book tour. I'm leaving next week. I'm going to be in LA and San Francisco and Connecticut, New York and Phoenix and Vancouver. I'm just really excited to just hit the road and go. And I hope that if you guys are listening and you're in LA or San Francisco or New York or Connecticut and you want to join me or Phoenix or Vancouver or Fort Lauderdale, all the details you can find for that are gabbyburnstein.com events. And so that's really thrilling is just to hit the road and be with the people you know. Laura, I know you feel the same way about this. It's like we do so much digitally and we love and we're so grateful for the digital work, but there's something very profound about being in person with others. And, you know, this book is a. It's almost like. It's almost like my second memoir in a way. You know, it's like I tell so much intimate detail of what I went through in my life in the last year to just return to my own faith. And it's almost like this gift of being able to go out on tour and tell people and speak it. Because really, before I'm an author, I'm a speaker to be able to speak it and say, hey, this is my truth. And in my truth, I hope you can identify so that you can heal too. And that's what I do. That's my job and I'm excited to go out and do it.

That's so awesome. It's just. It was really powerful for me to see the same tools used at another. You know, you show up at a different place in your life. So. So it's been really beautiful for me. I know it's been beautiful for you reading it through your book. So I know I'm going to be getting a group together to come and see you in la. So I cannot wait. So you guys, yay. If you are in LA area, we will get a group together. Let me know. And absolutely. It's so fun.

I'm doing something very special. I'm doing a live event one night and then the second night is a meditation event or I'm bringing all the meditations from the book to life in a workshop. So I come to both of those nights. They're going to build upon the next. It's Going to be major.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah.

I cannot wait. That's at Wanderlust.

Yep. Yep.

That's such a good spot. Okay. All right, you guys. So, Gabby, anything else that you want to share?

I just want to say that, first of all, I love you and I adore you, and your enthusiasm is so exciting to me, and I'm so grateful that you hold the space for me to be able to have my voice on your platform. And I hope everybody is is greatly, greatly, deeply, deeply served by this book. I hope it touches you in many ways and speeds your soul. And thank you so much, Lori, for sharing about it. I love you.

Oh, my gosh, thank you. I love you. And you guys, if you love this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it with your friends and go get this book because we want to hear all about it. So make sure you tag her, you tag me, you let us know what you think, and we'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought. Thought an honest comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

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