665. Creating Pain Points to Get You to the Next Level

If you don't choose your pain points or choose your pressure, you always have to be choosing pain and pressure because if you do not, they will be dealt to you. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. And we're back with another episode of he said, she said.

Okay, so we are getting ready to pack up and fly to Park City tomorrow, which I cannot wait. I totally need a snowboard break. But we're going for something really cool for our couples mastermind where we're taking all these high level entrepreneurial couples and giving them three like epic exotic experiences where it's like forced four day dates. And I'm so excited about it. But here's why I bring that up Today, Saturday, you and I got to go and be guest speakers at somebody else's Mastermind. And that mastermind was made up of all entrepreneurial couples as well. Super awesome group of people. And we got on a topic there because somebody had asked us a question. We got on the topic of pain points that force you to uplevel to fix a situation. And we went down this great rabbit hole that we wanted to share on this all about. Two types of pain points. Either the ones that you're dealt, like when you and I left everything or lost everything, there was another couple there, same thing, they had recently lost everything. So that's a pain point that is dealt to you and you must uplevel to solve it. Or pain points that are chosen, I call them manufactured pain points because you're not going to go to another level unless you're forced to feel the pain that creates the pressure to force you to that next level.

Yes. You know, we can, you can call these pain points, you can call these pressure points. You know, so we use the word pain because a lot of times the pain points that are dealt to you are the ones that are just handed to you by the universe. And I have to say, looking back, I just want to say if you don't choose your pain points or choose your pressure, you always have to be choosing pain and pressure because if you do not, they will be dealt to you. And looking back to when we lost everything, when we lost our house, our cars, and we were totally in debt, we had so many signs leading up to that that we could have, you know, either said yes to some of the pressure and pain points and created some, that would have been a lot easier. You know, it's kind of that idea where if you don't start listening to the nudges or, you know, the things that aren't going right in your life, the universe is going to smack you upside the head. But with a two by four until you wake up, realize you're not on the right path. We certainly were not on the right path, but we were on the right path for us to understand that that was not the right path than to be woken up by losing everything. And that's where this idea of, oh my God, you are always either creating it before the universe creates it for you and creating it in a way that creates positive pressure, or you're going to get your, you know, the crap kicked out of you by the universe.

You get the pressure handed to you.

Yeah, exactly.

So I think you and I have spent so much time talking about when, you know, we lost everything, we had to reinvent ourselves. And that was a pressure point or a pain point that forced us to get to several next levels. I don't want to talk about that today. Yeah, because so many people listening, they're like, fine, that's great, but I'm not there. What should I do? Because I, I expect more out of my life. I want another level out of my life. But you know, I'm good, things are good and it's scary to go do the thing that's going to get me to the next level. And that's the whole point, right. That famous book good is the enemy of great. When things are good, you're typically not going to, you're not going to do what it takes to get to great. Let's just be honest, because there's more to risk at that point. And well, things are good, so the pain point isn't there. That becomes a pressure to make you great. And you and I each have had separate moments in our life where things were good, very good. But we knew we wanted to get to great and we both had to manufacture these pressure points or these pain points. Now mine was when I read 30 books in 30 days and people have heard this story, but I was sitting across from you at dinner five, six years ago. We are on a date, things are supposed to be great and you're telling me the story. You're like, oh my God, everything is so exciting. I met these exciting people today and we're going to do this exciting project together. And I'm just so excited. I remember sitting across from you thinking, oh, not another project, not more people. Why does everything always have to be so exciting? And I caught myself. And remember I didn't say anything to do at dinner, but I thought, I.

Had no idea you were thinking this.

Why are you, why are you resentful that everything is so exciting and going so well for your wife? You should be excited. And that was the moment messed up, dude. I thought, whoa, she's on a rocket ship and I'm just down here at good. And if you continued on this rocket ship, you were doing all the things it took to be great, right? You were reading all the books, going to the masterminds, doing the group things. You were doing what it took to be on that rocket ship to great. And I was only doing what it took to maintain good. And I knew that we were going to wake up one day and you're going to be way up here. I was going to be down here at Goodsville and that was going to be too big of a gap for us to continue to have a good relationship. And that's when I chose Babe. I'm going to read 30 books in 30 days. And it up leveled me in a hundred different ways. So that's an example of me manufacturing a pain point and realizing one to get to that next level to keep up with you.

I'll tell you mine and I also want to know Chris, because I feel like I've seen you up level even since the calendar flip to 2021. So I'll tell you mine, but I'm wondering if you've done that even just with your schedule or like things that you've done to kind of get somewhere wondering if there is that that you've created for yourself this year. So for me it is absolutely bringing on investors into my company. So with that said starting light pink, you know, could we have started really small? Could we have bootstrapped this? Could this be like a 10 year plan or a 15 year plan where I'm like this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, which you know, I'm going to do that until this thing grows into what I, what I want it to be. But what I knew is that if this was a God sized dream, which is exactly what I knew I needed to do to up level like I needed a dream that I couldn't do on my own. And that's what a God sized dream means to me is a dream that you, you absolutely have to call in other people into your vision in order to get it done and you have to rely on prayer and your faith in order to get it done. So the dreams that I first initially wanted to choose were easier, right? They seemed big to me in the moment and I was like, yeah, that seems hard or that seems challenging or scary. But I knew that at this point in my life I was being called to something that seemed impossible to me. And that's a God sized dream is something that seems impossible without outside help, external help, faith in people. And the pressure that I created was okay, I want to create this company. I want a lot of women involved. I want this to have a give back component. I want it to like be out there in the first year or two, like really make a big splash. That requires a lot of capital. And also I wanted women to feel like that ownership in the company. Well, what that means is I would take on investors so they actually did have ownership and equity in the company and that if and when we ever sold that they would get, you know, my big vision was to also not only have them be a part of this company that they felt so bought into, but they also got a payout from. Those were my hopes. And what comes with that all of a sudden is all of this pressure. And I knew that there was a part of my soul that actually that chose that. And you know, I was so excited about it. And I also woke up in the middle of the night for months at 2am going I don't know if I can handle this pressure. What would happen if I lose their money? I can't breathe. Oh my God. And that pressure is what made me jump out of bed in the morning and, and it's what made me say, you know, I'm not gonna take this weekend off. And it's what made me say, no, I absolutely have to get this thing moving. I have to keep pushing through all the questions. I don't know, I have to keep showing up on those really tough phone calls where I feel like an idiot and I don't know the answers. I have to keep showing up and researching things that I don't know and learning this new language about suppliers and co packers and your you know, supply chain network and all of these, having these phone calls with these men who are like, who the hell is this chick in this industry? She doesn't even know what she's talking about. And pushing through, they say, you know, don't you know there's an aluminum can shortage? And are you crazy to be starting this right now? And, and it's the pressure of all of the, the women involved and their money is what's making me keep going. And I have to be honest, Chris, if it was our money, I probably would have quit this.

I was gonna say you would have quit. I was literally just gonna interrupt you and ask you like, let's be really honest, would you keep going with the amount of resistance that you have run into such as licensing and finding a.

Co packer and your dad passing away.

And then, you know, the can shortage. You guys are laughing when you hear a can shortage. There's really a national can shortage. Would you have kept going or would you be like, oh, this is too hard.

I think honestly, like last year I probably would have said I'm putting this on hold. And you know, I think hold would have turned into finding something easier.

Yeah, yeah, I know for a fact that's what it would have been.

Here's why. And I want to say it easier because you know, I can be good. I can be, I can be. I could go back to feeling good about being good at something. And I even noticed that I kind of, I kind of did this. Like I, I went back to something that I knew I'd be good at and went and did it for a little bit and I was like, okay, yep. That didn't bring the gratification that I thought. And then I was like, got it. You know, I have no choice. I actually can't stop. And now I'm so glad because it brought me to this place where I, I finally am understanding everything in this industry and I'm getting so many like freaking angels showing up. Like I said how a God sized dreams a dream will require people. Well, true earth angels have show for me, just for all the woo woo people. Not actual celestial angels. But yes, I feel those have shown up as well. But humans who have just done things that I can't even freaking imagine, you know, have just shown up for me to support me and teach me and give me money and give me all of their network and it's mind blowing. And that would have never happened if I had quit while it was like in that really hard, you know, that tough place where I was just like feeling like I was crushing under pressure.

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You know, I know that we've done an episode, what was it, maybe three, four, five months ago, where we talked about the difference between pressure and stress, right? And pressure is good. And stress is when you let that pressure get to you and you paint it with a negative connotation. That's not what today's about. Today's about you're not going to find the place you were meant to go to unless you either are handed a pain point or in your case, a pressure point, or unless you go out and seek one. These are the manufactured pain points I talk about. And you, you asked me a question before. You just talked, you said, chris, I feel like I've seen you do that here in 2021, like you've gotten to this next level. What's the pain point that you chose to get you there. For me, it's because I know for a fact we want to start a family. And that family's probably going to come sometime next year, right? If we're looking at the calendar. And I don't want to work a lot when we finally have a family around. And you are going to be working a lot because of light pink is going to have momentum and it's a big responsibility. And so literally, I see it as like, I've got one more year to go out there and just manufacture every single piece of wealth possible and get every single machine up and running and well oiled and printing money so that I can pull back when we're finally holding some kind of baby or space alien or extra dog or whatever it might be. Because so the pain point that I'm choosing is what's it going to be like when you know Lori has to be working her tail off when you've got this baby and when you know that you're going to want to be home spending more time with it, but you're not able to. And when I picture that, that becomes a manufactured pain point that makes me so happy to roll up my sleeves and kick ass right now.

And also, you know, it's crazy because I'm watching the spiral effect of your manufacturing. You know, going out and making sure you're learning about these new industries or you're following that gut vision that you're kind of getting on this new thing that you're not talking about yet. And I'm also watching in your week to week schedule, it's a lot and you are packing it so tight. But you know, there was a point even this week when so many strategy sessions, so many calls, that on Wednesday you were like, oh my God, should I cancel this? And we were like, let's sit down. Like, no, you can do this, you can handle this. And I feel like today, Saturday, you did more this week than I've ever seen you do in my entire life. And I watched you grow from it. So I'm not saying you should do that all the time, but I am saying I think you are so demanding that next level from yourself that you're even like pushing through with things you would have never pushed through, push through and showing yourself a new level of muscle that you're capable of.

Do you remember a couple of times this week you asked me like, hey, how are you hanging in there? I'm like, actually, I've got more joy and more energy than I've had a Long time. And the difference is the perspective. The perspective is I welcome this chosen pressure. Not, oh, I have to do this or I have to do that.

Well, let's talk about what it really. I just want people to know, like, what it. What it really felt like just in the middle. Like, I know that you had a couple nights where you were like, how am I going to complete the week? But you just kept changing your perspective over and over.

Here's my answer to that. The amount of work that I thought it was this week was 10 times bigger in my head than it was in reality. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

So good. And so the pressure that people think that they're under is also 10 times bigger in their head than it is in reality. And I know you might hear that right now. Be like, this guy has no idea what I'm under. This guy has no idea what I'm facing. I understand that. But I promise you too, even if you don't like hearing this, are making it 10 times bigger in your head than it actually is in reality.

Yeah. So true. It's so good. It's being present. I just watch you like, okay, what am I doing right now? Like, I'll say something sometimes about tomorrow or your. Who's your person tomorrow? Or whatever. And he's like, I can't even talk about it. I'm just right here, just right now. And I'm like, that's a superpower.

It is. It is. All right, guys. Well, anyhow, we saw that this topic came up today when we were speaking at this mastermind. We really wanted to share it with you. You're only going to the next level one of two ways. Life is handing you a pain point that you got up level and solve where you're choosing a manufacturer one to focus on one so that you do what it takes to feel that pressure and get to the next level.

You guys let us know what your takeaway was from this. If anything, we always love to know who the our two listeners are out there. So.

And by the way, one last thing. We're down to three spots for the elite level mastermind. And if you need a tribe that actually understands why you choose to manufacture pressure points, that's where this tribe is, right? They get you. They actually understand why you're driven, why you're motivated, why you think so big. And I know in life it's tough to find those people. So when you mix that type of support with the type of knowledge that we share in there, it's guaranteed that you're going to find a next level, both in the way that you produce and the way that you earn and the way that you show up this year. Three spots left. Text the word elite to me to start the conversation. If you want to see if you're a fit, you can text it to me at 310-421-0416. Again, text me the word elite to 310-421-0416. We'll chat back and forth, see if you're fit. Jump on a zoom. Otherwise you just go right to the application at for the love of money.com forward/mastermind. In the meantime, whether it's pressure that's handed to you or pressure that you are electing to choose so you can get to the next level, we got your back. We're cheering you on.

Bye guys. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye.