667. Comfort Zones are Painful

When you start to understand that the real true pain happens if you don't make the change. If you make the change, the reward is actually now a possibility for you. So keep putting yourself in the pain with the reward on the other side, not the pain of staying in your comfort zone. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love of junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time diffident inspiration.

And here you are doing it.

I'm telling you, if you're doing this, you're doing one thing during the day that's for you, right? Hopefully you're doing this while you are either driving in your car and you're kind of like just getting your self development for the day or maybe you're taking me on a walk. I hope you're taking me on a walk or a run because I'm just gonna count those calories as my own. So thanks for that. Work harder. Just kidding. All right. So grateful for you right now. And as always, truly, like, I think about this podcast all the time and how much this has brought maybe the biggest blessings to my life because it has connected me to the people that I am just beyond grateful for, whether that has been people in our programs or like best friends or friends that listen to this. I literally have such good friends that listen to my podcast, which I think is so weird. I guess it's not that weird. I listen to their podcasts as well, but I'm just always grateful to be able to have this modality, to be able to speak to everyone. And we are going to Park City, Utah tomorrow. We are doing that couples experience that you probably heard us all talking about on the Mastermind for a while. And. And I'm so excited. And with that also brings nerves, right? Because we're doing something that we've never done before. We're creating an experience for people that we really, really hope that they Love as much as we loved creating it. And this was about a couple different things. And I want to talk about this. Cause today we were actually, it's Saturday right now, and I'm leaving tomorrow on Sunday for Park City. And we were actually speaking at another couple's mastermind today. So it wasn't ours, it was another couple putting it on for other couples. So they had a couple come and speak. So it's a lot of couples right there. With that said, it was so beautiful. We had so much fun. That's some of my favorite thing to do, is to talk to other entrepreneurial couples because they're just, they're open and receptive to where I'm at, where Chris is at, where we're at together and what we're saying. So it feels like very relevant. We get to talk about very relevant topics to our life and what we're passionate about. And so much of this came up talking about making sure that you're in rooms with the people that elevate you and experience and bring these conversations that really call you up. And when I say call you up, this can be very similarly confused with calling you out or making you feel uncomfortable. And you are always uncomfortable for one of two reasons. You are either leaving your comfort zone or you're staying in it. They both create discomfort. So which one would you rather choose? Would you rather choose staying in your comfort zone, which does not create the result that you want? You don't grow, there's no expansion. You actually start to feel pain. Right. It's kind of like that universal two by four, I always talk about where one way or another, you are going to be tried to get woken up by your higher self, God, universe, energy, whatever you believe. And it's either going to be by a two by four, or you can start to leave your comfort zone on your own, or like we talked about in our Chris and I's conversation this week that also came out earlier, talking about how you can manufacture your own pressure or manufacture your own pain points or manufacture your own, you know, growth or expansion. And the only way to do that is to choose the pain that actually has the reward on the other side, or choose the pressure that has the reward on the other side or choose the discomfort that has the reward on the other side. So I'm even thinking of this with some of the couples that are coming to Park City. And some of them have never skied or snowboarded before. So it's not exactly like their dream trip would consist of being on the Bunny hill and taking ski lessons. And some of them are really nervous, right? It's like, you know, we're in our 30s, 40s, whatever that looks like. It's not like we want to go and be falling all day long, because that's what the beginning of snowboarding typically looks like is sitting on your ass or your knees. Pretty much like you fall on your knees or you fall on your butt. There's really. There's no in between. And it's like what they're thinking instead of falling. And this is what we have to remember. What we need to think of instead of falling is the reward of what's gonna happen once you learn, right? Once you get that really tough day out of the way. And then day two is kind of tough, too. And then day three, you're kind of starting to get it, and you have to think of, wow, I'm gonna be able to go on these trip, these people. Now this new opportunity is going to open up. Wow. I'm actually going to feel like what it feels like to go in powder, which is what all of these people talk about, and. And be up on the mountain and see it after fresh powder with all of these stunning trees and. And just look at how stunning the mountains are and have this awesome connection and go to the lodge and have lunch and maybe have a beer and, oh, my God, all of these incredible things. Sitting by this fire outside and just watching all the people and all the families and all the friends, like all of the rewards that you're going to get instead. As humans, here's what we typically are either raised to look at or how we are actually, like, wired to look at. We're wired to, like, assess the pain, right? But what we forget to do is to assess the reward. So instead of looking at, oh, my gosh, you know, my future self or this thing that I want to do, here's all the pain points. Here's why it's hard. Here's why I don't think I'm going to be able to do it. You actually need to say, here's what's going to happen when I do that. So you need to go to the past pain or to the pain of what will happen. This is what's really important. This is what I want you to get. So I need to get clear here. So I'm talking million miles per hour. So what I need you to do is to get really present with the negative pain of what will happen if you don't try new things. What will happen if you don't expand. What will happen if you don't create that positive pressure? What will happen if you don't go into those new friend groups who elevate you? What will happen if you keep on listening to the people who are bringing you down? What will happen if you keep on listening to your family who's telling you, no, no, we have bad genetics, you'll never be fit, or no, no, our family doesn't do that, or no, no, our family has a curse on it, we're always broke. What will happen if you keep listening to them and sit in that pain five years from now, ten years from now? Let yourself go there, feel it, let yourself cry. I mean it. Like, go there for 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Like, it's so raw and real in that pain. And here's what we're doing instead. We're getting. We're getting so raw and real and vivid on the nightmare and the fantasy of the horrendous things that will happen if we actually start showing up as our highest self and actually start breaking through and doing that thing. You know, we start thinking all of these nightmare things and putting the pain of the future of. Of when we want to do that. You know, when we're going to go do that thing that's going to make us, you know, become our highest self, we put the pain there. Instead of putting the pain in the place of the present, where if you don't take action right, you need to put the pain in the place, the real pain in the place of the place. If you. It's a lot of places that I just said, put it in your mind into. If you don't take action there, that's where you need to put it. Instead of. You're putting it in the place when you're thinking about the future, but when all you should be thinking about in the future is the reward of you. If you go and do the hard things. Now, I just want to say, if you're still with me, I am shocked. But I think that you guys are all getting where I'm at right now. And that's another. It's just a whole other experience when you start to understand that the real true pain happens if you don't make the change. If you make the change, the reward is actually now a possibility for you. So keep putting yourself in the pain with the reward on the other side, not the pain of staying in your comfort zone. Right? That's a really tricky place. It's not a real place. Like right now, you're like, oh, I'm comfortable. I like this. I like that.

Are you.

You might be comfortable right now, but if nothing changes, are you going to be comfortable in five years? If nothing changes, are you going to be comfortable in 10 years? So I'm going to need you to go to that pain and think about that pain and make it so real and make it so visceral that you do all that you can to run away from it. Instead, you're making it so visceral around the things that haven't even happened yet, about you going and taking the leap into your dreams, and you're creating a very visceral reaction in your body so that you never make those improvements, so that you never go for it. Instead, you need to make it visceral about the reward. You need to think about what will happen when you break this family pattern or this family curse that you've been told that you have, that you do not. By the way, you have been sent here to break this pattern in your family. That is why you are on planet Earth at this time. If you have the desire to become your highest self, if you have the desire to be more, if you have the desire to not have those beliefs anymore, that is why you are here, is to break the pattern. So you need to start fantasizing in the best way and making it so visceral about the life on the other side of all of these things that you want to do, about all of the amazing people that are in your life, all of the amazing friends, all of the family that comes up to you and says, thank you for showing us that we're able to do this too. That is the rewards that you need to think about. I don't care if the reward is that amazing house that you want to be in, that boat that you want to take your family out on that trip that you want to bring your parents on because they never, ever, ever thought that they'd ever go to Paris or that they'd ever go to Florida or whatever that thing is. Start imagining that and make it so real that you can't imagine your life without it. That is the thing that you need to make real. Right? So make the pain of the now, if you stay the same, very real. And then make the celebration of what happens on the other side of leaving your comfort zone and. And following that discomfort.

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I am going to go pack because I tend to do this wait till the very last minute. It's 7:00pm I'm going to go to bed. Pretty soon I'm going to eat and then I'm going to go to bed and I'm still not packed. So I'm going to go do that and I am just going to be thinking all about you guys, hoping that you are leaving your comfort zone. I'd love to know your biggest takeaways from this podcast. It's always super helpful for me to know what you guys are feeling and who I'm talking to. So until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.