681. Easy = Frustration

If I choose the hard stuff that I want to do, then I'm also choosing to get rid of the stuff that feels hard that other people have to suffer through.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

And we're back with another episode of he said, she said.

Sitting here in the morning with our coffee. This is actually really fun that I get to do this with you every single week. And when I say it's fun, sometimes we bicker over, like, what are we going to talk about?

Say, really? Because we were just arguing. We argue every morning, at least for 30 seconds.

It's quick, but it is in the end, always fun and always a privilege that we get to do this. It is. I mean, come on, look it. We are sitting here with warm coffee in our comfy office with our awesome podcast equipment together and getting to talk about what's on our mind. And this is actually a great segue, is when you stop doing the hard stuff, life feels harder.

Yeah, we were talking about this on a run because the run was like, so challenging. It was the last thing that we wanted to do. It usually is the last thing that we want to do, but we also know it's the most rewarding thing that we'll do. And it, like, it frees you up. I want to talk about that for a minute, but I know that you probably have something you want to add to that.

No, I was just going to complete my thought that, like, it's not easy to, you know, grab your coffee, come here at seven in the morning and be all perky and smart and ready to talk about something. Because we're not morning people. But if we don't do the, quote, hard stuff, then life feels hard. In other words, once we're into this, it feels great. So the hard part is getting us to do it. But then the reward that makes life easier is then we have an incredible audience that we get to share our thoughts with. And you Know that we can share other products with and stuff like that. So I.

So I wonder why people don't understand this concept. I really want to understand why. It's almost like, how are we not teaching that these are the challenging things, that the challenging things always have a reward on the other side. Like growing up, I wish I would have understood the importance of growing, going out and getting your exercise or going and making sure that you have these really challenging appointments or things on your calendar. I really didn't have a calendar as a child.

I picture you walking around with a notebook calendar.

Actually, you know what? I did have a calendar and I hung it on my closet door. And for every single day that I worked out, I'd put a little W there. And when I didn't, I'd put like a big red like X through it like you did bad. And maybe, wow, maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh on myself. But that, that's how I started to learn discipline in my teenage years. But I really want to come back to if you keep doing the hard things, the hard things become the easy things and they become the things that add value to your life. And Chris, I know, like right now I'm kind of like feeling a little frustrated because I want to go for my run. And I'm feeling frustrated because I know that my run is always challenging. I go for a six mile run twice a week right now. And it's always really tough for me to wrap my brain around in the morning. So honestly, I try to stop thinking about the challenge of it and I think about how I'm gonna feel on the other side. So I kind of wanna get into your psychology of your brain, how you face your really tough days. Cause right now I know that I've looked at your calendar and you have sometimes 8 to 10 to 12 things back to back. What is the psychology that you do in your head to face days like that?

It's reframing, it's choosing gratitude right away in the morning so you see it firsthand. Every day I wake you up to a mantra. Happier, healthier, wealthier, more fit than we were yesterday. And then I grab that journal, sit next to my coffee, and I write out in my gratitude journal everything that I'm grateful. That's a new thing this year. That was like taking in an extra step to lock it in. I do my gratitude prayer right after I say the mantra. I listen to, to something positive or constructive that fires me up for business in the mornings. Whether it's a Gary Vee podcast or a book or something like that. This morning, I listened to Masters of Scale and all of those things together prepare me to get excited to go and battle for the day instead of trudging into a busy schedule. That's the first thing. The second thing is really swallowing this idea that you're always choosing your version of hard, right? So we either have a hard time paying the bills or a hard time helping our family or a hard time getting through life, or we can have a hard time managing our schedule, and we can have a hard time sticking to our habits, which eliminates all the other difficult problems that I just talked about. And so it's purely a perspective shift. And I think you've seen a big perspective shift this year. Like, there's been years where I've had a busy schedule and I'm just crabby about it, which sucks, because at the core, I'm a happy person. And then this year, I think you've seen, like, I'm literally excited for my days, and I just truly internalized this idea of if I choose the hard stuff that I want to do, then I'm also choosing to get rid of the stuff that feels hard that other people have to suffer through.

I think also, you know, a big challenge is not. Not learning how to compartmentalize or understand that some years are different than others. Like, you almost have to name your year that you're in or name the quarter that you're in, because what happens is we can sometimes be like, I just need space, except you actually are desiring an outcome or you've set a goal that doesn't allow you to have space. So sometimes you have to say, yes, I am a person who loves space, but in this season, I have set a goal that I want to grow my business this amount, which means that this is not my season of space. But what I am gonna do is try to work in these small boxes of space, and I'm gonna know that this is not my quarter where I'm going to get that. So a lot of times, it's because we are gripping onto another idea, and that's what is really causing this inner conflict in us. And I know, Chris, for you, like, you love space, except you. You're in a quarter or a season where you have set some really lofty goals for yourself.

Yeah, I was just gonna use the word season. For me, I call it seasons. And I think if you acknowledge the season you're in, then immediately a lot of the resistance goes away, because, as our friend Christine hassler would say most of our stress comes from a expectation hangover.

Yes.

If you expect to have space and if you expect to have an easy schedule and then all of a sudden you don't, you're gonna be pissed off. But if you expect that you are in your busy, productive season, then you're not gonna have that expectation, that hangover. Your expectations are gonna be aligned with the production levels you expect out of yourself. So, like, right now, I am in what we call every year Mastermind season. I am refilling the elite 1, which I just finished doing, so that's totally sold out. And then I'm doing all of their strategy sessions, which are 90 minutes for each new member. And on top of that, we wrap up our fast foundations, which is the more entry level to mid stage Virtual Mastermind, and we resell that one. And that's Mastermind season. And that's 60 days of pure hard work on top of the other projects that and companies that I work with. And so I have to go into that season saying, this is Mastermind season. Like, I put on the metaphorical battle gear, right? Like I'm in the movie 300 and I put it on, I go in, I'm like, all right, I can do this. And I just go through and I plow through. And then I feel really proud at the end of every single day. But I was just gonna say I feel like I gotta throw in there because we're gonna refill fast foundations, our virtual Mastermind. Listen, if any of you have a business where you're not making 500 grand yet, and you want to learn from us and our friends and collaborate with other people that get you. Text me the word fast to 310-421-0416. And here's why. There's something in it for you. Two things. One last time, it sold out, like, right away. And so a lot of people that wanted spots, they didn't get them. This is going to give you a 24 hour head start on the spots. The second reason, anyone that texts me the word fast to 310-421-0416 is going to get an extra $500 off that nobody in the rest of our audience will get.

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Yeah, it's, it is like probably for me one of the coolest things to see just how much transformation comes out of there. I, I literally cannot believe it. Every single year I'm blown away by how many people up up level their business and just increase their income every single month. It's literally insane. And I will say it does sell out right away. It's not a program that we can just keep filling because we actually do Q&As every month. So we can only have around 60 people on each of those two hour Q& A's in order to get to everyone's question so we can't overfill it.

And everyone gets one on one coaches that we pay for. That's why we can't overfill. Anyway, guys, if you want to get on that early enrollment VIP list, text the word fast to me at 310-421-0416. And this reminds me of an example of when you choose the version of hard that you want. Here's another example. When we were teaching fast Foundations, the Virtual Mastermind last week, I had to put on pants with big waistbands to sit there because most of my jeans weren't fitting me anymore. And they weren't fitting, and that felt like a really hard thing to me. I was like, lori, I feel really crappy right now. I literally don't have jeans that fit me well and that I can sit all day in. And so I put on, you know, my second choice of pants. Guys, that's a real life version of what was hard in that moment was feeling like garbage because I wasn't choosing to do the hard stuff. The workouts, saying no to certain foods, saying no to certain moments of momentary pleasure leading up to it. And then I hired a trainer. My trainer started yesterday, and he took me through all this mobility stuff, and it was hard. But guess what? I'm choosing the right hard stuff now instead of letting the not as enjoyable hard stuff land on me by default.

Yeah, it's really crazy because now I relate to. You have to. It's a whole mindset. It's a whole brain shift. And it's not like I just choose it now. It's just that I know how to start choosing it. I know how to switch my brain right away because I know the way that I'm thinking is either helping me or hindering me. So now when, when I look at challenge, I really relate challenge to freedom, and I relate easy to frustration. And there are so many days where it's like, I will look at my to do list and be like, oh, I don't want to do that. It's so hard. But at the end of the night, if I don't do it, guess who's having the worst night of her life? So I really have to reframe and be like, okay, if I do that, you know, if I go for the run, if I face that phone call, if I do send that scary email, if I nudge that person one more time, if I just ask again, okay.

I'm going to have freedom on the other side.

Like, you can have everything that you desire in life if you just show up for these challenging things and stop saying, I don't know how you're putting yourself in your own personal hell, if you keep saying, I don't know how, I'm not sure. I don't have money for that. I'm too scared. Take the leap and figure it the out.

Wow, you got fired up. Yeah, guys. It's true, though. Listen, listen. You want to know what's hard? Is if family comes to you and they are in desperate need of a little bit of money so they can maybe pay their mortgage or something, and you have to say no to someone you love, that is way harder than just doing the consistent, scary work each day. Right? Choose your version of hard. Or you know what else is hard is having your kids come to you. I would imagine we don't have kids yet. And saying, can we please go to Disney? Can we please go on vacation? Can we please do this? And you actually really want to do it with them. You really want to create those memories and you have to say no. And you have to maybe mask the reason why you can't do it. That's a crappy version of hard. I'd rather choose the version of hard where preemptively, proactively, I am choosing that. I'm going to go make one more sales call. I'm going to go do that one scary thing, or I'm going to go aim for that partnership that allows me to say yes to my kids later.

And listen up. Some of you are making your life hard and you're disguising it with things that feel productive. And let me tell you this take on it. So my friend Sam Skelly says, consumption without integration equals constipation. And so you can also think consumption without integration equals frustration. So a lot of you are listening to this, a lot of you are reading the books, a lot of you are attending the classes. And that feels hard. And you're going to partway there, except you're actually layering on even more challenges because now you're becoming aware. Now you're, like, awake. And you know that you should be doing the hard things. And you feel like you are. You're tricking yourself into thinking that you are, but you're actually still in the learning mode and you haven't integrated the learning. So a lot of people get stuck in this cycle of consumption and you're just eating and eating and eating and eating and eating, and you're never actually going to the bathroom.

That sounds like a miserable situation. But it's true. I see it all the time.

Yeah, you're not integrating ever.

And here's the worst part. There's a fine line between doing the right thing and hiding behind the right thing. Right. So a lot of people listening right now, they're partially doing the right thing. They're consuming the podcast, they're consuming the book, they're consuming the course, they're consuming the mastermind, they're consuming the mentor. Right. They're consuming all the things. And it's easy to say no. Look, honey, I really worked hard today. I read this many pages, I listened to many podcasts, I did all the right things. But then if you do nothing with it, what would you call it? Constipation. Mental constipation. Yeah.

You gotta release it.

You gotta release it or you're gonna get that big bloated poop belly. And no one wants to go through life with a big.

Nobody does. Look, that is like a universe. Why don't we. Like, that's a universal thing. Nobody ever wants to feel like they have it. Like, I feel like I've talked to people who I'm like, oh, I bet they didn't go to the bathroom today.

What?

You have? Like, you looked at their belly and said that? No.

Like, maybe because they're crabby. Oh, maybe you just need to poop.

You think anyone's ever said that about us?

Probably.

Yeah, definitely.

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All right, so guys, let's put a bow on this thing. I cannot stress this point enough. I wake up every day and I choose the hard things I want to choose instead of letting other hard things choose me. And I would much rather be in control of which version of difficult I am going to push through instead of just having the worst versions dealt to me. And that's my wish for all of you as well.

I saw a quote, it said procrastination makes easy things hard. And I just thought how great that was because we have a lot of things on our plate every day that you could just do. You could just stop thinking about it and just get into action. And because we're in procrastination, we're actually causing ourselves pain and choosing pain. So you guys so grateful for. You definitely text your number.

Text the word FAST to 310-421-0416 so you can join us in FAST Foundation's mastermind Totally virtual last time. We're doing it this year and I promise you we're gonna lift the curtain on every single thing you've been trying to figure out on your own. And this will give you $500 off that no one else will get and a 24 hour head start so you can actually get one of the seats that sell it right away. So text fast to me at 310-421-0416.

We hope we get to work with you guys. It's literally one of the most fun things that we get to do. We get to know every single face in there and answer your questions one on one along with our big virtual events which just totally rock. And you get access to people you would never norma get access to. You literally get to talk to them and ask them questions. It is mind blowing and I really hope that we get to work with you. Let us know what your biggest takeaway was from this. Chris and I always love to see who's listening and until next time, we will see you on the next episode.

Thanks for listening.

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