701. Q&A: Finding Clarity

Things just don't happen. It's not an accident that things get done. It's so much thought goes into getting things done. So just give it a little bit more thought and really look at where you have the energy.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere, from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. At rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to sa. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not.

Alone and that we all feel like.

We don't know what we're doing. We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you, and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Evans, welcome back to another episode of Questionably Awesome. Thank you so much for being my co host on these episodes every. Every week. It's just the most fantastic part of my weekly morning routine.

Oh, well, it's an honor to be here. And, and just. I'm. I'm grateful to be here.

I'm wondering if we could start every episode real calm like that and almost fool new people. Like almost trick them into thinking that it's going to be very intellectually stimulating. You know what? We may not stimulate or tickle your intellectualness, but we might tickle your funny bone.

We'll for sure. Tickle your funny bone. We did sound a little NPR there.

We really did. It was like, welcome back, Evans, to your show.

Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

Isn't it funny how. I don't know if you have it because you don't really use the setup that I use, but I have on right now, you guys, like some serious studio headphones in a studio microphone. And it literally kind of turns me into a bit of a different Persona when I get on it because I can hear my voice, you know, and it's turned up in my ears, and I'm like, oh, let's make this voice sound a little more buttery, you know? And I don't have that in your headphones. Kind of like. Headphones are tough. It kind of blocks you out. Like, just. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah.

Do you feel like you turn the butter on or do you kind of just keep it right?

I try to turn the butter on pretty much every day when I wake up. That's turn the butter on.

I wasn't ready for that. I had coffee in my mouth, so, you know, I like that. I think if you tell Adam that you are starting to turn the butter on in the morning, you're like, hey, I'm turning the butter on.

You plant that seed. Plant it early, ladies. Plant it early.

Like, just let them know you're turning the butter on. Wasn't expecting it to go this way this early, but, I mean, I was, because that's how it always goes. But. Yep. But would you try that for me tomorrow, like, in a real deep, raspy voice and see what he says back?

Yeah, he'd probably like it. Did you hear me stutter just then? I got real nervous.

You guys. She's already getting, like. She's already getting blotchy thinking about coming in. Adam is her husband, in case it's not some stranger or someone at work or anything.

Nope, I know him.

Would that be hilarious? It's just some guy at work. Hey, I'm turning the butter on. Now. If you work at a movie theater, that would be completely fitting. He'd be like, yeah. I'd be like, well, thanks so much for getting the popcorn started early. These people are popcorn crazy. We always run out at 7:30. It's absolutely insane. Okay, guys, if you didn't yet, this is where we answer your questions. And it's called questionably awesome because it's up to you to figure that out. If you think it's awesome or Not. Yeah, but we already know it is. So do you have. Actually, I kind of just want to take a second here and understand how your life has been going.

Oh, it's been just great.

Okay, tell me about it. I feel like I'm.

I'm kind of in a nesting mood because we're starting to get some things for our house, and I'm very excited about having a little home. It makes me really happy.

It is so much fun. I know. I started getting into the decorating mode, and it just turned into. It's kind of all consuming because then you start. That's what you start looking at on Instagram, and that's what you start. Like, oh, my God, catalogs are coming to my house again. Because I ordered something and I'm like, a catalog. This is so fun and tangible. Feeling the pages and drinking my coffee. Do you know what I realized? I was like, what? How short of gratification a catalog is. I'm, like, done with it in 10 minutes, you know, maybe less. And I was like, this is so. I mean, we. We definitely probably got more done back in the day, but it was like, think of the JCPenney catalog now. That sucker.

Oh, my gosh. Do you remember ordering from a catalog? Because I remember, like, writing on the card and mailing it in.

I actually don't remember it, but I do remember. I do remember how excited I got looking at catalogs. So that's. That's it. That's all. That's all she wrote. Evans. I don't know.

Well, Gen Z doesn't know how. How good they have it with online ordering. Because catalogs take some time.

They take some time. And think of how small our 80s mailboxes were.

Oh, they were just full to the brim of catalog.

You get one JCPenney catalog, you're not getting any other mail. Like, you got to pick and choose your mail. And it's just. I just remember how crazy it was. Like, it was heavy getting them. Like, the catalogs came in, and everyone would be like, I want this one or that one or this one. I mean, I don't know if it was like that. I'm making up a story for you all, but I like it.

How have you been?

Have you been the toy section? The toy section of catalogs were great. I've been great. I have been super busy. And definitely not wearing that as a badge of honor. Just saying, holy shit. Like, launching a company is really real. Like, there is some. There's. I go to bed every day, and there's a million things that I didn't do that I wanted to do. And I think this is the story of everyone's life. But, you know, you're just working kind of on a deadline. So it's just a lot of things, and observing where I want to be more, you know, where I want to be spending my time more in the company. So that's been really interesting and, like, trying to figure out how I can get back to those things, like marketing and, you know, just mainly marketing and design and all of those things, and trying to figure out how to engage the audience for launch. Like, how do we get the. Just the overall marketing strategy has been, like, where I want to be and really exciting, but I also have to be in a million different places. So super busy, but also just, like, loving it. Like, absolutely loving it. But I will tell you, like, I am. I am, like, done at 9:00'. Clock. Like, I just can't even function past that. So, um, yeah, I want to say that, like, to everybody who's doing something big out there, like, it's okay to go get eight hours of sleep if that's how you function best. You get more done during the day, like, definitely.

So true.

I am prioritizing sleep so much right now, where I think most people are like, nah, I'm just going to work through the night. Like, I actually can't. My work is terrible. So I'm just. I'm. I'm telling myself a story that I. I'm doing it different, you know, so. And I am.

It's cool to see your Instagram stories. Like, I can see in them, even from Instagram, that you seem really in your zone. Like, when you're. You just seem really happy and excited.

Ooh, I love it. That's so cool, because I.

On your shoots and stuff.

Yeah, I'm so glad it's translating because I'm having just a total blast. So. Okay. Do you have a quote?

I do, and it's from a peloton instructor.

Oh, damn, it's going to be fiery.

It's from Tune Day. I love her classes. And she says you are the gatekeeper of your success.

That is so weird that you said gatekeeper, because that word kept coming up on our call last night. What? It's really crazy. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about it because maybe it came up for you, especially if you chose that one.

Tell me.

So we were on the Powerhouse Women call. I did a call with Lindsay last night. She's got, like, a membership Program for women who you can, like, go and network and all of those things. So we were on her connection call and we were talking about the realization that you don't need somebody else to start accomplishing your dreams. Meaning, like, back when I wanted to be on the fitness cover, I thought it was someone who had to anoint me and tell me I was ready to, like, you know, be someone out in the world. And they kept telling me no. Like, I kept getting rejected for like, you know, three years on getting a fitness cover. Like, you're not our girl, you're not our look, all of the things. And it was the story of when I was looking at my vision board and I had all of these magazine covers on it. And after getting told no again, another rejection, like, hey, it's just not happening. Stop bugging us. And I had that moment of, oh, my God, if I don't do this. Cause that was my dream, right? And I was like, I don't do this. I don't even know who I am or what I am. And I threw myself on the bed and had a big crying fit for a while.

I love this.

When I exhausted myself from that, when I was like, oh, you mean no one's coming to save me or come to listen to me crying, you know? And I came back from my haze of like, feeling bad for myself. I was like, why do I want this? Why do I actually want this fitness cover? Like, what. What is the. What do I think it's gonna give me? And so I did a lot of, like, self reflection for a while on, oh, I want a community. I wanna be a mentor. I want, you know, I wanna be able to use my skills and show people that they can do this too. I wanna be able to share my knowledge. I wanna be able to share the journey. I wanna be able to speak life into them. And I was like, why do I need a cover to do that? Why don't I cut out the middleman? Like, stop thinking that there's a gatekeeper. I'm the gatekeeper to the creation. And it was like, you know, it was like anointing yourself ready and stop waiting for someone else to anoint you. So we started talking about gatekeepers and like, who do you think is your gatekeeper right now? Because there isn't. It isn't one. Like, if you want to publish a book and you think it's the publishing company, it's not because you can self publish, right? Like, you can self publish that first book if you want, you know, to start A business. But you think that you need people to raise. Like, you need a certain person to raise money. That's not the truth. Because. Because if it's someone you're not getting the money from, it means it's not meant to be from them. Like, go look elsewhere. But we keep attaching ourselves to a desired outcome, and it's when we unattach and look for other creative ways that it's gonna happen. So I love, love, love that you shared that. Cause you're the.

I love that, too.

You today. I'm the gatekeeper.

You are.

It's so true. You are. You're in charge of who comes in and out.

Do you remember Charles in Charge?

Yeah. Is that from that sitcom?

It's. Yep. It's a sitcom called Charles in Charge, everyone. It was a great sitcom, that's all.

Okay, Is that the one who. Where. He liked the. He was the nanny. Was Charles the nanny. Oh, yeah.

Yep, yep. Real good. Some. Some young hot guy was the nanny. I mean, you know, totally, totally real life. Okay. Very realistic. Here we go. My quote is actually from the Boss Babe page from Natalie Ellis. Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as playing small. When you're meant for bigger things. Have the courage to outgrow what isn't meant for you. Yeah. Boom. Boom. Staying small is more painful than so true. Than the pain of change, Everyone. Yeah, There we go. We got a few comments.

Oh, yeah. Do you want your review?

Yeah, let's do it.

Review.

Okay. This is from Kate the Great. 528.

Some people are just so creative. I'm just like, that's a good license plate. Lori the Snail.

Absolute realist. Lori, I have so much love for you. I've been listening to you for about a year and a half now and finally getting to writing a review. I don't believe I have ever encountered anyone who has the ability to empower me. They do, and I listen to plenty of similar podcasts. Your total authenticity in sharing your own experiences has made me believe that my own dreams really are possible. Because I see myself in your journey, I always feel a tangible energy shift after listening to you. So from my heart, thank you for your determination to be vulnerable and share your wisdom. Also cheering you on all the way with light.

Thank you. Whoa. That is, like, the most amazing review ever. Kate the Great. Seriously, I just love people who actually take the time to, like, tell us something so nice, because I just want to thank people because there's so many people who, like, they listen and they Mean well. And this is nothing against that. It's against the. I'm like, this is against the people who leave reviews on people's things. They actually take the time to write really mean things. So I just want to, like, thank all the people who also take the time to write nice things. And I think about that all the time. Like, even if I'm really busy or see somebody trying to launch or see somebody launch something or do something, I'm like, Lori, take a minute to, like, write a comment on there, because there will be people who maybe don't write nice comments. And let. Let the nice ones. You guys, let's make it a goal to make the nice ones way outweigh anything out there that isn't nice. Because, you know, I just think that we need. We just need more love out in the world right now all of the time. And, you know, if you want more love, you got to give it. So if you want more love, you got to give more love. And that's what you'll see everywhere. You'll feel it in your heart. It'll expand in your chest cavity, and you'll just feel yourself just floating about in the day like a big old love bomb. All right, do we have a question?

Yes. This question is from Cindy Bolt. And Cindy wants to know, how do you stand out as an entrepreneur in the fitness field that's already saturated with millions of coaches and mentors?

Well, you have to look at how other people are standing out. And I think it comes down to the old just, you know, it comes down to a few things. It really does. It comes down to, are you really consistent? Are you showing up with good content? And that's about it. Like, they will start to follow. I think we just forget how long it takes, like, you guys. It took me a good, like three to six years to even start to make any name in fitness. And that was hella consistency. I just did a podcast about this because there was a kid who was being interviewed, and I say kid because he's like 20. But there was a guy, man, who was being interviewed on Lewis Howes podcast, and he blew up overnight on TikTok. And Louis was like, dude, how did you. Like, how did you do this? He's like, well, for. I think it was for two years. I think for two or three years, I can't remember. He went live on TikTok every single day for like two to three hours. And he's like, yeah, people think it was just overnight. All of a sudden I have, you know, he's got like 30 million followers or something like that. He's like, but that is like two to three years of going live every day. He'd made it his job to go live on social media and, like, teach something or do something or, like, do all of these different things on TikTok to get people interested. And he's like, it wasn't fast at first. Like, it wasn't fast at all. And it's just like people started. You know, it's. Think of how consistent that would be if you did something every single day and people just started to rely on you for that thing. So I think a really big shift happened for me when I showed up on Facebook Live every single day for a year in the morning in my bathrobe with no makeup on and talking just about different mindset things. And I really think that's when a huge part of my community really got engaged and just started following and getting in my groups and getting on my email list and coming to my events. And that core base really helped me get other. Like, create other people because they were sharing for me as well. So you have to find the thing that you're going to have extreme commitment to. Now. I. I've talked about this. I'm talking about this all the time right now, because extreme. It doesn't have to be an extreme plan. It has to be an extreme commitment, but it has to be an extreme commitment to, like, one thing. So are you going to show up live every day? Are you going to. You know, for me, right now, my extreme commitment is to my podcast. I show up every single week to my podcast. Four and now five episodes per week. I'm adding one more episode. That's extreme.

That's a commitment.

It's a lot. It is a lot. I wake up at like 6am right now to record most episodes every single week. And, you know, if I would have told myself this even last year or two years ago that I would do this, I'd be like, that's insane. But this is my. It's my marketing plan. It's my marketing plan, and it's my way of connecting with my audience. It's where I'm accessible for people, and it's where I get to do the thing that I was, you know, born to do. So I have to remember that. That it's a blessing. It's where I get to express myself. Sometimes we're like, oh, but that's so hard. No, it's where you get to share your thoughts, which is what we actually all want. Like, we want to be able to share thoughts or a skill set or teach somebody something. So what is your version of, you know, extreme commitment? So that's what you have to figure out and realize, like, where am I going to be extremely committed? And when I say, it doesn't have to be an extreme plan, like, some of you might be like, that's an extreme plan. Like, I'm just talking to you, Evans, for 20, 25 minutes in the morning. That's not an extreme plan. That's not like, I need to sit for five hours and write a novel. It's like, can I dedicate 20, 25 minutes every day to have a conversation about something that happened in my life and teach and talk to you? No. That sounds pretty fun. And the second that I start feeling like it's not, I need to really reframe, you know, and because it is, it's a blessing to be able to serve people and to be able to show up and talk and. And even fool ourselves into thinking we're serving people right now. It's pretty fun, you know?

Yeah. I think you just made me think of. There's. Adam sent me this podcast with Jerry Seinfeld on the Tim Ferriss show, and he really echoes what you're saying, which is like, a lot of people are like, okay, I have to do this from eight to five every single day. Like, write a book. And he's like, that's not realistic. But if you could be like an hour and a half this two times a week to do these things, that you can actually keep that.

Yep. And it's so much smaller than we think. It's just the extreme commitment to the small things telling you it changes everything. Because I used to think I was the person who I. I truly was, like, but I need sleep. Do you remember the whole 5am Club thing? Like, I was like, I'm never going to be able to do that now. Now I do it because I go to bed at nine, you guys. That's the only reason why. But that was, like, extreme dedication to try to get in a rhythm as well. But the thing is, is, like, I was like, I'll never be able to do that. I need my eight hours of sleep, which I do, or I'm a totally different person. I was like, I ran out of energy really quickly, which is still true. So I have to be really, really intentional with the hours where I have a lot of energy. Like, I'm not going to be booking. Like, I book my things that require the most Energy and creation from like 11 to 3, because those are my primetime hours. If I book outside of that for things that are, you know, creative times, I'm usually not good at all. So what'll happen is I even switched my podcast to either like early morning or my big podcast day where I do interview, you know, the interview portions. I switch that all to Friday because Fridays I'm usually so tired and they don't require a lot of thought for me, right? Like they, what I was doing, I was putting those on Tuesday and Tuesdays I was getting so anxious because I really needed to be doing all the creation, all the getting back to emails, all the admin. And I was feeling crazy because I was taking the whole day to podcast and I was like, wait, let's really look at my energy and what, what I need. So that's what it comes down to is like organizing your schedule into where do you have energy and what do you need to do? Like do those hard things during those hours. You have peak energy. And if you know you have peak energy on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Tuesday, Wednesday, like you gotta, that's how you have to plan your life. Things just don't happen. It's not an accident that things get done. It's so much thought goes into getting things done. So just give it a little bit more thought and really look at where you have the energy. Do we have one more question?

Dang, you are speaking to my soul today.

Okay, well, I'm in it right now. I'm living it. Do you know what I mean? When you're living it and you're just like much easier to talk about it when you're in it for yourself.

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You're in it. OK, here is a question from Ola Manzano and they want to know. I'm struggling to find my why. What are some tips to help me discover this?

Oh this is such a great question. Thank you Ola. So Struggling to find your why. In the beginning especially, we feel like we need some big why. That's like saving the planet or saving children or saving the animals or, you know, getting back to X, Y and Z foundation. And I'm so passionate about what this is. I love breaking this down because it is. You don't know your big why. Typically in the beginning you just don't. Because in the beginning, your big why might be, I'm just going here. I think it's the freedom to tell people, like the truth or it's, I hope this gives you the freedom to really figure out what your why right now is. And I wish that we would ask the question like that, not your big why, but what's your why right now? That would free you up to know and start seeing what your big why is. And that's where we get stuck. We think we need to know the big why right now. So the little whys are gonna, are gonna lead you like breadcrumbs to your big why. So in the beginning for me, I had a big or I had a little why. That felt like my big why of, I just don't wanna struggle anymore. I just don't wanna get panic attacks in the freaking grocery store line that my husband is gonna get mad at me that I bought the organic cottage cheese and not the, you know, low price cottage cheese. Like, it was really important to me to start eating well. And I knew that he would look at the grocery bill because we were struggling, you guys, we had lost everything. And I knew that I was gonna go home and get reamed out over the grocery bill. And I wanted my why was to stop having panic attacks in the grocery store line and feeling bad and questioning and standing at the different aisles on choosing the food that has crap in it or the organic food. Because I knew that I would save money and I was supposed to be saving money on the grocery bill. And then my why became, you know, when we started being able to do that, like have money for that, my why became I want to go. I want to go into a store and not look at a price tag when I like a dress and just buy it because it looks great on me and because I feel so good in it. And then it became, wow, I want to take care of my parents rent. What would that even feel like? Like, what would that feel like to know that they're not stressed every single, you know, the whys started getting a little bit different. They started getting outside of my life after I took care of my needs. And I think that that is where, you know, if we're not taking care of our needs and we still have anxiety about money, and we still have anxiety about what we're buying, we still don't feel like we have the freedom to do what we actually desire or the things that we want to stop thinking about, you know, to take care of things in our life. Or wouldn't it be nice to take my friends on a vacation? Wouldn't it be nice to pay my, you know, house payment without ever getting anxious? Or wouldn't it be nice to prepay something? Then once we do that, we have the energy to figure out and see that it's far beyond us. Right? Once we fill our cup, we can now overflow. And what happens is it starts revealing what you're really passionate about. I didn't even understand what my why was in helping women until I took care of myself, my husband, my needs, my parents, my family. And then I started going, who else? Okay, who else? Now this. The home front is good. Like, we're all set, right? That took me a lot of years to do that. Now let me see who else and what else I'm passionate about? And that's. That will hopefully, hopefully free you up to write down your needs. Now write down your whys right now and let them be. Do not judge the carrot. Chris and I always say this, like, let them be shallow. I don't care if it's your why is a pair of hot shoes, like, let that motivate you to learn how to make money and go through the fire of trying to figure out what it looks like to step into your calling. You know, I love that.

Do not judge the carrot. And I wrote down. Write down your little whys right now. I'm gonna do it after this.

Oh, I can't wait to hear them. Because they're the most important. I think they're the most important on the journey. What lights you up the most and be as like, it may do not. Like, for real, Evans. Do not judge them. Let them be shallow. It could be a vacation. It could be. It could literally be anything. Could be like, getting your hair done and not feeling bad about it, you know, because it's going to motivate you, and it's going to. You will hit those and reach those milestones faster than you think when you break them down that way where the big why is just. It's not even tangible right now, right? Like, the big why is supposed to be like, what are you doing with your legacy? And you're like my legacy I just want to buy cottage cheese right now you know like I don't want organic yeah exactly that's like my first thing so all right so grateful so grateful for you Evans. I would love to know you know what's a little bit of magic you want to sprinkle from your fairy dust wings on everybody today.

Oh I would like to go back to the spreading love movement because it is just so much it feels so good to do nice things and be kind to people rather than be a.

Little poop head on comments exactly that's all we're leaving today don't be a poop head on comments like go work on your little wise okay go little wise get out of the comments because that is so shitty get into your little eyes because that is so pretty I don't know so nailed it. Yep, nailed it. Oh my God. Quotable tweetable all right you guys so grateful for you always love the reviews and until next time be questionably awesome and earn your happy.

Bye Evan, Lori.