709. Q&A: Finding Clarity

When you're putting things together for your home, I've been thinking like, oh, I should do it like this because this is how people do it. And then you should really just do things the way you like them because it makes you feel good. And I feel like you can do that with a lot of different areas of life, like, stop worrying.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, bestselling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere, from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not.

Alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe.

To this podcast, subscribe.

We're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Evans. Welcome back to Questionably awesome where you are my lovely co host and we take people on a journey. I mean, I don't know, a real journey. What do you think?

If you had to summarize you were.

Stuck in an elevator with someone, well, you wouldn't be stuck. You were riding an elevator for 30 seconds. Because the 30 second being stuck is just taking a ride. If you had to tell somebody and you were like, hey, I co host a podcast which you probably don't tell people because you're like, I'm embarrassed, but I'm just kidding. And they were like, oh, tell me about the show that you do every week. What would you say?

I would say it's like you're on an elevator, but you stop at every floor because each floor has a different subject, and you get a little distracted, but then you eventually find your way to the top.

That is maybe the best explanation I've heard of what goes on here ever.

It's like when the little kid presses all the buttons on the elevator.

I have taken rides like that where. Because. Okay, so, like, I was in network marketing for years, and, like, all the conferences, you would all stay in one kind of, like, main really large resort, like, hotel. And there was always, like, people literally had to get off on every floor. And you would have different conversations with different people coming in and off, and you're just like, okay, yeah, it was a little bit crazy and chaotic. And then you get off, and you're like, all right. And you recollect and, you know, you reach your destination, which is your room. All right. So exhausted. Yeah.

Anything else?

I took your great example, and I also wrecked it, so. Yeah. What's new? How have you been? What happened this past week?

It's been really great, except we live in a really old house and we have a gas leak. The gas is turned off, so I'm not, like, sitting here inhaling gas.

Oh, my God.

So that's been interesting to, like, be.

So glad you caught it. Did you smell it?

Adam caught it. He smelled it because our power went out, and then it came back on, and then we smelled something funny.

Oh, my God. That's really lucky.

Yeah. Yeah.

So good. Well, I am so grateful that that was caught. That's amazing.

That makes it sound like it was really dramatic. I promise it wasn't.

It's still very important that that was caught, so that's really, really good. Yeah. And I don't know if it's living in old houses or houses in general. Like, there's always. I swear, every house I've ever lived in, I'm always like, oh, there's something new once a week.

There's something. There's always something to do and fake.

Like, every. You're like, this home sits still. It doesn't go anywhere. Like, how are you having problems? I don't know. Like, we need home therapists. It's crazy. Like, you don't have to break to get our attention. We can be deeply grateful. Deeply grateful for you without all of this drama, you know, Drama. Okay, what's your quote?

Oh, my gosh. It's from this new podcast I listened to called Girlfriends in Business.

Look at you advertising for us. Thank you.

I highly recommend it. And it was the one you did with Patrice Washington. And I, um. I hope I'm saying this right, but you guys were talking about your comfort zone, and it said. I think you and Patrice said this together is, like, until you set boundaries, your subconscious will find a way to bring you back to your comfort zone.

Oh, man, that is so true. And it. It just does over and over. Like, until you set the boundary up, I'm either not going back there, or here's my game plan to not go back there again. You're just going to keep going back there? I just feel comfortable. I'm in snack land right now. Have you ever gone through phases of your life where you're just like, my default? The past, like, three or four weeks, I've noticed, is not to go for, like, a walk or grab something different or do jumping jacks or, like, I don't know if I ever did that.

But do jumping jacks.

Like, do something different. Like, my default has been, I'm like, I probably took a trip to my cabinet like, 50, 15 times yesterday to go get some crackers. And I was like, you know, I just know that this doesn't turn into a healthy habit. And until I set the boundary that I'm not gonna crack out anymore, then.

I know exactly what you're talking about.

Then this shit is gonna keep happening. And I know that that's a bad example, but it's also a good example because it's a comfort zone. I'm like, oh, I'm doing hard things. I'm gonna go reward myself with a cracker every 30 minutes all day long. It's not just a cracker, you guys. Come on. It's like a handful of crackers.

Oh, it's a bunch of crackers.

And it's not actually making me feel better. It's just like, I'm looking for a numbing distraction. So I need to set a boundary on that, focus a little more, and then figure out what that, like, you know, other more positive thing could be. Random example, but it's how we do. It's what we do. These little things start to add up into big things all day long if we don't set a boundary. Okay, so my quote, because I heard some of the questions are on playing small. I looked at playing small quotes. So, yeah, I know it's crazy. So, Edmond Mbaeka, I think that's how you say it, has two great quotes. He says, massive success has never been the outcome of playing small. And just because everyone around you is playing small doesn't mean that you aren't entitled to dreaming big. So, yeah, I don't know. I liked them. Just simple, basic. I love those basic Edmund quotes.

Typical Edmund.

Typical Edmund. Making it all about playing big. Thanks, Edmund. Do we have a review?

Yes, it's from Holly Ann.

Thank you, Holly Ann.

Hollyann says this past year, I've been feeling pretty down and not knowing where I'm supposed to be or who I'm meant to become. So I've been looking into anything and everything on how to help get myself back to the old me, the me who was on track and ready to take on the world every day. While searching, I stumbled across this podcast, and man, am I glad I did. So many episodes have resonated with me and have helped me guide, Helped guide me in directions I wouldn't have thought to go before, and I'm starting to get back on track. I'm also so glad I found this podcast because it's introduced me to several other amazing podcasters when they guest star on an episode. Thank you so much for doing everything you do and making things so relatable, easy to get, and I appreciate you.

Oh, my God. Isn't that just crazy to think that we get to be in people's ears? Like, how lucky are we to be in Hollyann's ears? Like, for real?

I know. And Hollyann, I just. I relate to that so much about feeling lost.

Yeah. Especially this last year. And you know something I just. I also just want to point out is sometimes we feel like we have to, like, get back to a place or how we were. And it's like, I think that with focus and with understanding that you just went through something, even if it felt like you weren't going through anything except just struggling, you're just bored or really challenged by not knowing where you're going. You just went through something really big and you're going to be better on the other side. So even if that version doesn't look the same, it might be because that version maybe wasn't sustainable. And you have to find a different way to get back to feeling good. And it may not. It may never look the same. It could look better. So I always like to tell people because I'm trying to leave room for myself, because I've been finding, hearing myself saying those things even around just fitness and stuff. And I'm like, I don't think that I should be trying to get back somewhere. I think I should be trying to find what this version is and what works, because sometimes that's hard. We're always holding us to a standard that maybe actually didn't exist because our memory, we romanticize a lot of things. So I love that so much. That was actually a lot of perspective for me. Hollyanne, thank you so much for your review. Evans, what's our cue? Yeah, what's our question?

Oh, man. Buckle up. Okay.

Buckle up.

Cornelia Baum, I love her name. Tips on finding the balance, or she likes to say, finding harmony. Harmony. As you're bootstrapping. I'm at a point pivot in my business where the old way isn't bringing enough cash flow, partially because of COVID and partially because of my own burnout. I'm so lit up about the direction I'm going in and what I'm creating, but constantly caught up in the band aids, AKA side jobs I've created to pay the bills rather than focusing on my business in this new direction.

Oh, this is that tough spot where you got to dig sometimes you got to dig a little deeper or, or work a little smarter. So it's one of two or it's both. And it's never the fun thing to hear because you somehow have to create a little extra money to be able to hire, like a virtual assistant or something like that. Or if you're really scrappy, get someone involved for free that you can trade things out on. So if you're really good with, like, these side jobs, are you able to, like, trade something in the trades for what you need for that other business?

Ooh, good idea.

Otherwise you really, like, you know, it might be like, oh, my gosh, I literally can't believe that in order to get ahead, I'm going to have to go, you know, do Uber eats three nights a week in order to pay somebody to do these jobs so I can maximize my time and be able to get back into the money making part of my business. I know for me right now, like, I'm, I'm looking to hire somebody, but trying to keep it as scrappy as I can. But I'm getting out of the things that are most important in this company and that are needle movers. So we have to remember that if we're in all of these side distractions, even though it does pay the bills, that, yes, we'll never actually get into the thing that has possibility to get us out of being stuck. So you need to write on a list, like, what are the things that maybe someone that you can hire for not a ton of money, like a virtual assistant could be doing that would alleviate your time to focus on the needle moving things in your business. And when you figure that out, you need to know how much money it costs to hire that person for how long. And you guys can go to upwork. Like maybe you just need them for four hours a week, maybe you need them for 10, maybe you need them for 15. So figure out what that general pricing is for what they you need them to do, because you can look that all up. So there's no excuses there. It's not like I don't know who to find. I don't know where they are. I don't know how much that would cost. It's literally all there. I would price that all out and then I would see what I can do extra in order to pay for whatever that person could do for a little while so that you have some extra hours, hopefully to be able to start working or the hours that you do work. When you work on the business, maybe you don't have extra hours because now you're just doing more things for a while. And that's the truth. You're just doing more things for a while. But what will happen is when you do work on that other business, you won't be working in the emails anymore, or you won't be working in the stuff that doesn't move the needle you'll be working in. Maybe you're writing a course, maybe you're making the actual product, maybe you're connecting with the correct people that you're supposed to and build those relationships. Maybe you're emailing, maybe you're doing all the social media, maybe you're doing the things that will help move that needle the most for you. Boom. I always just seek validation with Evans just before we get on. I'm like, hey, can you make sure you drop a boom after anything I say, even if it's bad, so that I can have that external validation to be able to move on. She doesn't. Gladly, she doesn't. But she always gives it to me. So I'm so grateful because sometimes I'm like, oh God, that was a bad answer. And then I get a boom and I'm good. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Shake the room. Second. Second question. What's our second cue? I hope that helped. Cornelia Baum, right?

Yeah, I think that super helped.

Thanks.

Okay, there it is.

Again, so grateful. I really am. Like, it makes me feel so much better.

Happy to do it. Okay, this is from Chrissy Kunkel, which. I really like her name, too. Okay. Chrissy is. She says, I've been playing small in my interior design business and recently raised my rate. Oh, good job.

Way to go, kk.

Where I'm struggling is with comparison. I'm seeing counterparts who have far less experience doing amazing things and really cool projects. I feel like my job suck in comparison and can't seem. Can't seem to break away from looking and staying in my own lane. How do you stay the course and not feel like you suck all the time? How can you channel the energy to grow instead of setting you back and making you feel inferior and loserish? I love all her attitudes.

I love this. Does she just go into my brain? Oh, my God. Like, people maybe think, like, some bigger things are going on up there, and it's pretty much just like, how do I feel? Less loser. Ish. Like, that's pretty much it.

So true.

Oh, God, this is so great. Okay, so you have. Clearly, you might be busy, but it sounds like you have some time on your hands if you're really getting into the mud. And so what we're going to do.

Is we're going to get you out.

Of the mud by giving you a bigger problem to worry about. So what you're going to do is you're like, I don't think I like these projects as much. They don't seem as cool. Okay, so in order, people just don't get projects like you land projects, because you have been circling them like a hawk and you're creating a plan to work on these cooler projects. So what you're going to do, kk, is you are literally going to go find somebody in your area, an influencer, someone who has a big following, someone that you really look up to, and you're gonna say, I'm gonna offer you my free services with my discounted rate for whatever I do. And in exchange, would you post this on your social media? And could I use these pictures with a professional photographer who comes in and does X, Y, and Z, and can I tag you? And that person may say no. So you ask until you get somebody to say yes. And you don't stop until you get someone to say yes. And if you have any time to look and compare in between, you're actually not working hard enough in your field of getting outside of what you want to do. So you should get so busy in these projects of offering this thing to get out there and get outside side of your lane. And here's the thing, if you offered free services and you discounted some of your stuff that maybe they were purchasing or you were doing, it's a break even.

You guys.

There is, look, all the power in the beginning is in that, like break even marketing, meaning give them as much as you can for free. That covers the cost. Like that at least covers the cost. And sometimes, sometimes you need to invest and view it as marketing. Like, why would I give that to them for free? Because every company has to market and this is how you're doing it. You're, you're essentially getting to use this audience that they've built up who also has homes like this, who also have other influential audiences in order to get into the areas that you want. And we forget, we're like, oh, but I need money. Yes, it's how you're going to get more of the money that you want and more of the jobs that you want. So if I were you, this is what I would be doing all day. I would be creating these relationships and saying, how can you go and find maybe these first two or three jobs that you're going to do that and tell them, you know, hey, I'm using this as my marketing plan. Would you ever be open to X, Y and Z? And the best part about it is that there's not as much pressure because they didn't pay for it. And maybe they paid for some of the products or some of the decor, but they also got a discounted rate. So yeah, you just, you need to get more busy in the thing that you want to be doing. And I find that that is when I am in comparison mode is I'm not. I don't have a good enough plan on how to stay bus my own stuff.

With the holidays and the new year coming, you probably are looking around your house thinking that you would love to upgrade and freshen up your environment. And there is no easier way to do that than with your window treatments. Nobody covers windows better than Blinds.com. blinds.com brings your space to life in your way. They have free design help. Other retailers may claim to have experts, but blinds.com has spent nearly 30 years building an award winning team of over a hundred design consultants that are ready to help you create your dream space. Always convenient, always tailored to you. Three ways to shop 1. Perfect fit. Whether you want a DIY, have it all done for you or you're somewhere in between, choose what works for you and Rest easy knowing the fit is guaranteed. So the holidays come fast, you guys, and you can freshen up your window treatments fast as well. And unlike some competitors, the price you see is the price you pay. No hidden fees, and there's zero pressure. From blackout in motorized options to classic shutters, blinds.com has window treatments for every room, style and budget, even shades for your outdoor space. The Black Friday deals@blinds.com are going strong all month long, so don't miss your.

Chance to save big.

And as always, our listeners still get 50 off when you spend 500 or more. Just use code earn at checkout limited time offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. 2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. That idea that have that has been eating at you forever that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your head. And with Shopify, 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so scared to take the leap. And I'm so glad that I did.

And that I use Shopify.

It gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand. Set up as fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos. So marketing is built in too. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same dashboard. In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that's shopify.com happy hear your first Cha Ching this new year with Shopify by your side.

I love that and I like what you're saying about contacting those people that with the bigger projects that they're doing because especially with interior design, what if you get to be buddies with those awesome designers and they're like, hey, I have this client who maybe you don't have. She doesn't have the band she or he doesn't have the bandwidth for. So they pass them on to you.

Yes.

Yeah.

Like, instead of being jealous of somebody, especially if they're in your area, reach out to them and say, I love your work. Oh, my gosh, this is amazing. Maybe learn from them. You know, take them to coffee, see if you guys have any. Be like, hey, I'm wondering if there's any way that I can help you on any projects. Or maybe we could, you know, maybe I refer clients to you because I'm not quite in this space yet and they're. You're a little more high end. And maybe if you get a client who's more like this, you could refer them to me or whatever type of person you normally work best with. So there's just so much room in there to, like, start connecting and collaborating and also just getting busy in that that I think once you do that, you're gonna just blow your own mind. Like, it's gonna be so much fun. And that's what it should be.

That's awesome. And she's definitely not loserish.

No, far from it. But I'm like. I just. She cracks me up. So. I really like your brain and the way that you speak. So. All right, Evans, what's some wisdom? I just want to hear some wisdom from you today that you just got out of the week.

Oh, I know what it is, actually. Okay. This week I've been thinking, this is house related, ironically. But when you're putting things together for your home, I've been thinking like, oh, I should do it like this, because this is how people do it. And then you should really just do things the way you like them because it makes you feel good. And I feel like you can do that with a lot of different areas of life. Like, stop worrying.

I totally agree. Like, who's coming over? You know?

Right. It's your dang house coming over. Nope.

And if the queen was, maybe you should really use that as a practice of just letting it be.

Exactly. Like, if my dog likes it, that's good enough for me.

Yeah. Like, thanks, queen, but guess who likes this. June. So thanks for coming over for some tea, but I'm leaving.

I'll give June her couch back.

Hey, we talked last week real quick about. I don't know, I think we talked about an idea for you or something.

Oh, Finding your why.

I think it was like.

Or building your page for working with me?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I've been working on that. And I have a canva draft.

Shut your face. I need to stream it. Okay. We can talk offline, but I need to see it. Are you excited? Does it feel right or no?

No, I think I still need to do some work on it, but I think what I've noticed on People's about me and work with me page is the more honest it is, the better I feel like it is.

I feel like that's a pretty truthful answer for everything in life. We're entering that phase of authenticity, and you're like, you know, I feel like maybe 10 more lies sprinkled in about how I'm going to work with them.

Would make me feel really.

Making it up would make me feel really confident about not being able to show up and meet their expectations. And we just solved a lot of the world's problems, though. They're like, oh, that's why I'm. That's why I'm afraid to work with people is because I'm trying to tell.

Them I do things that I'm not.

Really great at yet. And if I was really honest and just said, you know, I'm pretty good at this one thing, but I'm. And that's it. Yep.

And I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'll try, but I'm gonna.

Do my best, so. But I'm. It's just a video up there. Like, ah, we're gonna give it a whirl. Click here. It's all you say. We're gonna give it a whirl. Maybe you'll get a discount.

Click here. All right.

You guys. Always so grateful for you, Evans. You're one of my favorite humans. I hope that you enjoy this magical day. I'm so glad you took care of me.

Gas.

Yo.

Good thing gas smells.

That's good. Yep. Now you just got the other natural gas, and we're fine. All right, until next time, earn your happy and be questionably awesome.

Goodbye.

Bye, Sam.