710. Stop Setting Yourself Up to Fail

Where is your expectation that is making you not feel good about yourself. That's actually taking away energy from realizing that you are getting things done and that you're just moving at a pace in which you can move, in which is successful for you, in which is sustainable.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere. From being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing. We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so, so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that.

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Hey everyone, welcome back to the show.

It's time for another quickie because there's.

Always time to fit in inspiration and.

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So go there right now and sign up. If you haven't already, like, hit pause. Like, I'm being so serious because we're gonna do this together and it's gonna be a blast. And today I want to talk about the expectations that we put on ourselves. Not just about the expectations that we feel that we believe that others have put in ourselves. But I said this on the tail end of our run today. Lindsay Schwartz and I were running, we run every Tuesday and Thursday. And I said, you know, I think I'm feeling false expectations. I said, if you really want to know what I'm feeling, I'm feeling like I'm going to. I'm feeling like I'm making up an expectation of what I believe other people are feeling that I don't know if they're feeling it or not. We hook into these expectations that aren't even real and we think we need to live up to them or we feel like we're letting people down. Right? So what that's gonna do is it robs you of all of your energy because it takes your focus away from where you actually need it. And something that Chris was talking to one of his clients about one of his coaching, his one on one coaching clients. She came to this place where she realized that she was really only good if she was doing three, like all she could do is three big things a day. So before, when she was trying to pack in a million big things in a day, she felt terrible she wasn't accomplishing them. She ended up just feeling like she was letting her own expectations down and she wasn't operating at her best. And she said it wasn't until she felt like she implemented these three big thing, only three big thing rule a day. Like she can only do three big tasks and sometimes not even three, but up to three. She's not allowed to put any more in her calendar other than three big things. So maybe it's three coaching calls, maybe it's three tasks she needs to get done. But she found that she ends up getting three things done more consistently than trying to fit in all these big things and then feel like you're failing everywhere in life. So what's the expectation you have on yourself that's making you feel like you're failing right now? And I really have to look at this. I'm actually about to go on a walk with Chris. It's the end of my day right now. It's about 6 o' clock and I need a reset. And I kind of felt like I was failing today because I had a lot of big things I needed to get done and I ended up having a lot of big things come up that were more 91 ones than the other things. I think when you're starting a company and when you're, let's face it, when you're an entrepreneur at all, everything feels like a 911. Everything feels important right now. And it's like you can feel like a failure if you had an expectation of getting a million things done and not observing that you actually got other things done. So where is your expectation that is making you not feel good about yourself? That's actually taking away energy from realizing that you are getting things done and that you're just moving at a pace in which you can move and which is successful for you and which is sustainable. So we need to change our languaging because right now I'm like, oh my God. I literally said to Jackie, who's living with us right now, my brother in law's girlfriend, while they remodel their home, I was in the kitchen and I said, you know, sometimes I just, I like today I just feel like I'm failing at everything. And she's like, yeah, I felt that way last week. It's just, what's the expectations that we're putting on ourselves? That is making us feel that way because it's robbing us of the things that we actually did. It's robbing us of the joy of the journey. And I've been thinking a lot about this. Like, I don't know what else I'd be doing with my life. I really, really enjoy doing what I'm doing and I don't want to rob that from myself. So where are we robbing ourselves of the actual fun and the journey or just the hard work that is actually enjoyable as well? Because we're putting a false expectation of these millions of things that we can do. And maybe we do put a, maybe we put an expectation cap on it, right? Like we can only expect two or three big things of. If you're in the beginning of your journey, maybe it's one big thing, right? Because you kind of grow that muscle of what you can handle and what's possible in one day. As you get better as an entrepreneur and as you know what you know to move the, remove the resistance. And as you stop getting. As you're less fearful, there's not as much time that goes around things and you just move a little bit quicker. So maybe in the beginning you're like one big thing a day. And if I do one big thing, look, that's five big things a week. And that's like way better than I was doing. That's zero things a week, right? Because you're just like stuck in fear or whatever that is, or stuck in a high expectation.

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So maybe you need to look and put a cap on your big things for the day and maybe that'll kind of start you reframing and re enjoying the things that you are doing. So you guys, I'm going to get out on my walk. I got to get out there and do my three wins that I do with Chris. You guys, if you don't know what that is, Chris and I every single night do three wins of the day. It makes us really look at what we love and what we're so grateful for and what we are proud of. And we have to do that. We have to do that. So it's like, who do you want to do that with? Can you do that right now? What are your three wins of the day? I'm so grateful for you. I'm going to go do mine. Go to oneit64.com right now and do that free training with me. Go sign up. It is totally free, you guys. Five days of free training from the very best people. Even if you can't make all five days, if you make one day with these people, your life will be shifted. I mean, these are the people who I learned from and completely rocked my world and changed my life. And I want you guys to have opportunities. I want you guys to have options. And the only way to do that is to learn from new people who have done it before. You know, that's what all of our E courses are about, that we're always talking about, that we're always sharing. But this one's going to be special. This five day training is going to be so special. I will not miss it. I literally will not miss it. Obsessed with the people on there because I have had such crazy transformation in an instant from some of them. So I'm sending you guys so much love. Definitely go check that link out and let me know what your biggest takeaway was from video. This.

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And if you're going to implement some of the things that I just talked about. Okay, love you guys. Bye.