728. Q&A: What Keeps You Up at Night?

All you have to do is stay in the game to literally end up winning.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere, from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. At rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you' alone.

And that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment.

Along with a shout out.

And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Evans, welcome back to Questionably awesome where you're my. You're my co host. How do you feel today? Tell me all the things.

Well, to be honest, I feel really mature because I started drinking Earl Grey.

Oh my God. That is. That's a step into adulthood that most people don't consider as like you've arrived. But I would say that really, I think especially in England, it's definitely the arrival. The queen for sure drinks Earl Grey.

Do you think that she for sure does?

Can you do it with a crown and gloves?

I might start because I really enjoy it. It's very smooth and it doesn't give you immediate diarrhea like some cops.

Oh, that's so good. You know what's so funny is this morning cause you know, Nick and Jackie are still living with us as they're remodeling their house. They had. We ran out of coffee, so they went and bought coffee. And I'm like, always, I'll go buy the lightest roast ever. Because I just like, I can't have too much crack in the morning. So I didn't even think about it. I'm like, wow, this coffee tastes strong. It didn't stop me from having two cups. So I had two cups of coffee and I told you, like, I took a Benadryl last night. So now I'm groggy and jacked up at once. Like, it's the weirdest feeling. I'm like, I'm so tired and I have the worst anxiety of all time right now because I think it was like real high octane caffeinated coffee. And what it made me feel like is just like I wanted to cry and throw a tantrum, you know that feeling. And exhausted. So I'm having a great morning so far.

So things are going really well.

So it's funny because even the day is like really great. But I'm observing how like little things that maybe if I don't have the answer yet or I'm kind of worrying about something, I'm like, ah, like, oh my God, this is gonna go terribly right today. And then I'm just like, God, I know that you did just take the wheel.

Crazy though. Coffee can really. I didn't really understand until I started to do decaf. Then I started doing tea and I'm like, this is. This is where I belong.

Yeah, I think you and I kind of run in that same path of like we can get over caffeinated, which can turn into like an anxiety ridden morning slash day. And that's a spiral. It can really spiral out. So I'm going to have to make sure I go get some different coffee, some real neutral stuff because I can feel it right now. Like I kind of just want to scream.

Little sh.

So yeah, tell me all the.

Like, I want to know more about.

Your life this last week. So tell me, did you get the stuff fixed in your basement?

Oh, yeah, the stuff in our basement is fixed. So we don't have flood. Flooding.

It was. It was flooded, right? Yeah.

Yes. We had to redo some. We're still kind of fixing some of the plumbing stuff, but we basically just have a basement that flood frequency frequently.

Frequency frequently. Flooding basement. Yeah. And so they said that's okay though.

No, it's not okay. But we cleared out like some Some of the. What are they called?

Like, the pipes.

The pipes that were clogged.

I don't know.

On the outside of the house. I don't know, Lori. I don't know. It's just home ownership.

It really is. Everyone's just like, that's a. That's like when we got an rv and people would be like, we would meet them if they had an rv and they're like, so what went wrong on this trip? Like, it was just like, a funny conversation because. And it was. Someone summarized it so perfectly. I don't know who told me this, but it was like the perfect analogy. They're like, yeah. I mean, you expect nothing to go wrong. It says it's as if your house is going through, like, a crazy earthquake for hours all day long, and you're expecting nothing to be wrong. Like, you're literally putting a house on wheels on, like, a 9.0 earthquake all day long while you're on the road. Like, they. We've taken some bumps where I'm like, oh, wow. Like, that definitely shattered any glass that we had in our cabinets.

Especially in the Midwest, where the potholes in Indiana are terrible.

Yeah. It's crazy. You got to be. You got to. It'd be like putting wheels on your house right now and taking it down the road and being like, oh, my cabinets are. Are broken.

Are you all going to. Are you going to RV this summer?

We are not sure yet.

We are going to probably try. I just have to launch this company and. And see how I feel if, like, I'm going to have heart failure if I leave or if I feel like I'm going to be okay. That's just kind of where I'm at right now.

I think that's great.

Yes. Hey, do you have a quote?

I do, and I think you're really going to like this one.

I'm really excited.

This is from Marcus Buckingham, and I have no idea who he is, but he's sounds royal. Sounds royal. He says many of us feel stressed and get overwhelmed, not because we're taking on too much, but because we're taking on too little of what really strengthens. Oh, wow.

Now, how did that make you feel? What did that make you think about?

Oh, just how when you're not doing. When you're not aligned in what you're supposed to be doing, you feel like a crazy person. But when you start to get in that flow.

Yep. Have you started Everyday Evans?

Yeah, I do. Everyday Evans.

Open it out.

What do you do there?

Well, I write Little blog posts that don't really mean anything, but they're fun for me. And got a. Who's that lady coming out on Friday? Oh, my gosh.

And it's Everyday Ovens, right?

Yep. Everyday Evans. Dash Evans has a dash in the middle.

Everyday Dash Evans.

Yeah. Everyday Evans is taken. She seems nice, though.

Everyday Evans is taken. Well, you can get the trademark and then you can take it. I'm just kidding. Don't do that. But it is possible. All right, so that is amazing. I'm so excited for you. Who's your interview with?

I did her last week and her name's Sarah K. And she's really cool and she's an artist and she also loves. So she's all around great person.

That's amazing. And honestly, the best things come from just starting to get, like, just starting to try it on and get things out there. It's kind of like everybody's waiting for this perfect idea to land before they do something. I'm like, that's literally not how the law of your purpose works. Like, there's an actual law, you guys. I don't know anyone who's been like, okay, I've got the plan. I've got everything in place. I feel so confident. And now I launch. It's like, nothing feels good. I'm not confident. This feels stupid. And you put it out there and then you go, oh, it wasn't about that. It was about this. And I go in this direction now and wow, I. That for sure wasn't it. And that felt terrible. And now I'm going like this. So it's. It's like backwards. It's working. It feels backwards of what it's supposed to feel like. It's so sloppy and messy. And because you're willing to put it out there, that's how it gets figured out. So, all right, my quote is from Sandeep Joar, and it is the only mistake you can make is not asking for help. And that is just the most true thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Because everything that we do needs help. It needs other people. And, you know, talking to. I was talking to my friend who works with a lot of different companies and a lot of different CEOs for her position. And she's like, I have to say, the best CEOs are the ones who hire the most people for specific positions and get people to help them out as much as possible. And I noticed the company just runs so much smoother rather than when they try to have their hands in Everything and don't ask for help and things. And I was like, it's so interesting how sometimes the bigger the company, the less busy you can be if you're running it sometimes correctly. Now that's not going to happen in the beginning at all, but it definitely is something to think about in our lives that if you have more going on, you might need more people. So whatever looks like.

But do you have a review from.

One of our amazing people who, like, I'm. I am so, like obsessed and impressed with the amount of people that give us reviews each week that just make our whole week.

Well, I love this person because they did a really short, nice review and their name is yes, Yesy act. Yesyect.

Oh yesi actually she was in our Fast foundations. That's amazing.

What? Okay. She says the title is earn your happy makes me happy in all caps. And then she says, I love Lori. She's an amazing human. And this podcast is straight up medicine. Wow.

I mean, period. Not a doctor. Just play one on this podcast. But thank you. Thank you so much. And we'll write you another prescription right after this. Because if we were doctors, we'd be the kind that were just like, you know what makes you feel good. Here you go. Yeah. Take two and take two. Take two, take double. Don't call me in the morning because I'm not good with follow up. So actually I'm really good with follow up in most things, but not like.

Yeah, I think you're really good at follow up.

I can honestly say though, I think I was thinking about when I did one on one coaching. I enjoyed it for the stint that I did it, but I could not do it again because it's not in my personality archetype to do that. I'm a to the masses person. I like to teach on stages, big stages, put out courses, things like that. So. But my brain will not. I can't keep up with the one on one thing. I'm terrible with it. I'm just like, okay, gave you some stuff.

Go do it.

Godspeed.

High five. There you go. It's really weird how we're like that though. Some people are so good dropping in with that one on one and they prefer it. And I'm like, no, I gotta do big groups. It's really bizarre.

You do the masses, which is why your podcast is so wonderful.

That's. That's true. Because I'm doing what I do best and that's just kind of like talk to a lot of people. Delilah, Delilah, do you want A question? Yeah, I do.

Or do you want to talk about Delilah? Because that's okay.

No, I'm good.

Okay. Okay. This is from Annie Rathman. And Annie says, because it's okay if.

You do want to talk about her.

I get it. I totally get it.

Okay.

Annie wants to know, she says, how do you tell your story gracefully? I'm going to publish a motivational self help book that will detail a lot of my personal experiences and traumas. I know this will upset my family members and friends. How do I mitigate the blow or minimize the pain they experience?

This is such a good question. We get asked this all the time, don't we, Evans? So first of all, you have to figure out what stories or what you for sure want the reader to walk away with. Like what tools do you for sure want the reader to walk away with? And then what lessons absolutely must go in that book that you learned and how are those lessons attached to your story? Sometimes we don't. I mean, unless you know the story is something like you're like, I have to do this for me, I have to share this and this is like really important, important, then you have to figure out a way to share that. If it's like you're just kind of feel like you are telling everything because you just think that's what you have to do, you do not have to do that. I left out so many stories in my book because I didn't want to hurt certain people. But if there's certain things that need to be told because, you know, it's like going to completely change millions and millions of lives or whatever that looks like, or change many people's lives and you know, you're supposed to tell it, then that's when we start to hone in on how to, how to tell it gracefully. A lot of times in books you change people's names. So not a lot of times. Most all of the time. Like I don't know too many people unless you're writing like a biography about a famous person who don't actually change the names of people. I changed names of everybody in my book except for like if I had to say, you know, my mom or dad or something like that. But I changed the friends names growing up. And also just because they don't need people to. Who knows who some of your readers could be. They don't need people to go and like, you know, because they love you, like go shame them or hurt them. Because that was a different time in our life, right? And people change and it's different. And even if they're still wrong, you don't need that in their lives. And so I think the things that you can do is change names, leave out details if it's something that would really point to those people. Because even legally you want to change people's names if you're kind of hurting someone's character if you don't or you're pointing to something. So definitely something you can ask an editor. But that's just something that I learned from my editor. And also just there's ways to say things without saying the whole story. You know what I mean? Like, you can get to the point without having to really call someone out. So I hope that that helps. I would say read different people's stories that you like, how they told them that are kind of more challenging stories or like maybe that they had to talk about their families. But I will tell you, there's not a great way around it. You have to tell your fam. Like I told my. Unless you're not close at all and you guys don't talk. But I had to tell my family what stories I had told and they were not happy. But I was trying to get them to understand that I painted it as kind of a story as possible. And also there's no way for me to tell my truth without telling that story because it was such an impactful part of my life and it just took a while for us to heal from. And I just, I don't know, there's not a way to make it super graceful without sharing it with your family and potentially hurting some feelings.

Right. And I like what you're saying because it kind of makes me think about. It's not like you don't you never, your book never felt like it was gossiping about your family or something like that. It was just simply telling your truth and something that had to go along with the theme of the chapter that it was on. I never felt like you were being ugly or anything like that. So I guess there's that fine line of talking. I don't know.

You just brought up a good point for me. And it was that, you know, I think that. I think that you can say things like, from. I'm trying to, like just things like this, like, I'm trying to remember this from my perspective as an eight year old, as a five year old and also letting them know like, or a 12 year old, you know, and being like. From my perception, here is how this felt and here is what I believe to be happening. Now, even now, I think I'd put myself more into the shoes of my mom and be like, hey, little did I realize she was dealing with this, this, this, and this. And, you know, my perception was this. But to her, it was probably trying to manage everything, you know, in the household, and she was going through this. And so I think I might paint a little more of not just, like, this is what they said and did and, like, at the time in their life, this is what could have been also happening, you know?

Right.

That takes time. Yeah. Yeah, it really does. It takes time for that to, like, open up, for you to even be able to first heal, to be able to see that that person was probably on their own journey. So, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. What's that Person?

Being a person.

Being a person is hard, you know, Being a person.

Okay. Oh, man, this is great. Haley Gray. What keeps me up at night and from building the brand of my dreams is the lack of community I have. I started my blog on September 20, 2020, and I'm struggling to find my ideal customers and gain traffic and following. I don't know what to do.

Oh, such a good question. You know, here's what happens a lot is people will launch something and be like, where's the audience? And we have to remember that, like, the audience only comes if you're so crazy consistent and they start to know you as, like, an expert in that field. Now, expert does not mean you need to go to school. Doesn't mean you have to have taken courses, E courses, anything. It just means that if Evans is going to sell me a cookbook, I need to see every day that she is offering me value in the form of a recipe. So every single day, if not three times a day. Because I eat three times a day. Who are we kidding? I eat, like, seven, so. But I just want a cookbook called Grazing. How great would that cookbook be called?

Oh, I would love that.

Oh, Grazing. Like crazy for grazing. I don't know.

Wait, would it be grazing with an apostle? Like, brazen?

Yeah, I'm grazing. Yeah, like, you're grazing through the day, you know, just eating a little bit here and there like a cow eats cud. So. So what is cud? Like, what is that, grass and mud?

I guess. I don't even know what cud is. Dirt and grass.

I think it might be. I think it's a combo of mud. I. I don't know. I'm trying to find what the C is.

I don't know.

But I like mud and crud. That's what it is. Cut with the holidays and the new.

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So back to Evan's cooking for me. If I am going to call Evan's an expert. Even though she has not gone to culinary school, she shows up for me on the gram every day. Like, hey, I know you're thinking about eating right now, but what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give you a recipe and interrupt you and tell you how great this would be instead of that other food. So you have to be known as the expert. And I'm like, oh, this girl always shows. Like, she always shows up every day with something good on there. Like, okay, what do I want? I'm going to my fridge and I'm probably gonna go to her page because she just shows up for me. Like, I know it. So if you are not that person yet, there's a reason why your audience has not come there yet. They can't rely on you for the information that you want them to be. Number one purchasing. They don't trust you yet. They don't know that you're the person they should be going to. So it takes massive consistency. And I have to tell you, it doesn't take a lot of customers to be able to start a business or sell something. It just takes making sure that you consistency can even look like, you know, you could start launching something in as little as three to six months. Like, it doesn't take that long to get even a handful of people, especially if what you want to sell does not require a lot of people. So let's say, let's say Evans, you know, you want to be copywriting for someone. You don't need a lot of customers to start a good business or a business that you enjoy. So you wouldn't have a long lead time in order to kind of like acquire that customer. If you start showing up consistently, consistently as this person who's like, I love writing. I love showcasing women. This is what I'm doing. It wouldn't take that long. You'd be, you know, you could, you.

Could do it right now.

You just need one person to kind of like start what you're doing. Now if you were launching an E course or selling a cookbook, those things take a lot more time because you need more people to make a viable business because your product is priced lower.

Right.

Unless you. It's like a really hefty E course. And even then, if you're. You're priced a lot higher, you do need those customers to trust you for a longer period of time. So that. That is a little bit longer lead time. But if it's something like what we talked about, where it's like for Evans, you know, writing maybe some copywriting for people or newsletters or something like that, or you want to do some one on one coaching, really specific around, like maybe you have a certain type of. You help a certain type of person who has maybe an autoimmune disease lose weight. Like, that's super specific. And you don't need a to of people to do that. So I would say just make sure you're showing up consistently on as many platforms as you can. And if you notice that you're not, it's making you stop because you're doing too many platforms. Just go to one. Just try to find the one where your customer is on. So there's a lot to still be said about Facebook, There's a lot to be said about Instagram, There's a lot to be said about TikTok. Just know where your person is, know where they hang out the most. And then I would really hammer that platform frequently and also work on creating your own lists. So lists that you own, meaning email or text lists. Because you don't want to just rely on social media after that. You want to slowly build that email or text list so that in case social media ever goes down or a platform goes away, you can still access your customer.

Boom. You just made me think of. Okay. Adam's cousin was in a fitness competition and we went to support her.

Yeah.

And she was talking about. She said she was telling the story about how she tells her son who plays baseball and baseball, you need to be. She was like, you don't have to be the best out there. Just be reliable and consistent so your coach will put you in the game.

Yes.

And then I was like, ashley, that's life advice.

It's literally the best. Because honestly, all you have to do is stay in the game to literally end up winning. Like, he may not win now. Like, that was. Speaking of fitness competitions, I just outstayed everyone. I'm not kidding. You like all of my friends, if they didn't win something in a year.

Or two, they were out.

And it took me almost on year four to win something. And I was like, I simply outlasted you. That's it. Like, they would have ended up winning. Do you know what I mean? Because there's no way that you can't. You get better. Like, you just start. It's not that there's no way that you can't. It's that if that is your goal and, and that's. You use every single show that you do to get better. You start picking up on cues of like, who's winning and why and what's going on. And that's just what happened. I simply outlasted the people who left. Like, he's. If he's in the game all the time, he's going to pick up things that eventually the team is going to get better and better or he's going to see a team he wants to be on or whatever that is. And it's like, you stay in the game. You're going to get the tools and skills that you need to eventually end up winning. So that's like such crazy advice. But if you don't get in the game, you don't get to play.

It's so simple. But not.

I know, I know. Totally. It's kind of like my poking, like, what are you doing this week, Evans? Are you doing something? Because if you gotta get in the game to even like, have the next steps conversation, it's like. And now you're in the game.

In the game.

You're gonna stay in the game for next week as well and the week after.

Yeah, I'm staying in the game because I have. I have to. Because now it's on the Internet.

Yeah. Yep. It's on the interweb.

It's on the interwebs.

And you have to. Even when you feel like people aren't there because they are like they're watching and they're listening. And that's what you guys have to remember. You're probably putting out posts and all these things that aren't getting a lot of action. And it's like, number one, you do need to look at your content and be like, am I asking them to buy things on my post? Because when I do that, even though we have to as like converting people as an act of love, which is sales, and getting them into your programs, those are really low. Act like for help me act when people, like, respond to them, I can't think of an actual word.

Wait, when people respond to the post.

Yeah, I can't remember when people like it and comment. So those are really low on that. When you're like selling things but they're watching. Like, you just have to remember it's like low.

Engagement.

There we go.

Engagement, Engagement.

There we go. So you have to look at your content and be like, am I putting out good? Like, I need to make sure I'm putting out content that adds value like 80% of the time. So definitely just make sure you're adding. That's the key, adding value. What would. What type of. If you can't answer what type of value this adds and would you like this post? Would you actually hit like on this post? Then it's probably not a good post. So there's that.

That's a good text.

All right. Everyday-evans.com.

Thanks for the shout out.

Yeah, it's just going to be your new name. It's like how I used to call you Ecrad by your Instagram handle. Now we're going to call you the business handle because that's better.

Ooh, welcome, welcome.

Everyday-evans.com okay, so you guys, I'm so excited about that and thank you guys so much for always. Just like I'm so in love with seeing all of the reviews and who we're actually talking to. It's so much fun. Yeah, yeah. No hamsters were harmed in the making of this podcast or caramel. No gerbils. They're all still safe in our brains on the wheels. So any last words of wisdom for.

The peoples consider Earl Grey? I'm telling you, it's a great, great change.

It's up for consideration. So it's up for the consideration awards this year.

I'm 75 years old. Okay, cool.

All right, you guys, until next time, earn your happy and be questionably awesome.

Evans.