729. Get Your Power Back

And so the biggest, most powerful thing that you will ever do for your life right this very moment is to stop pretending you don't know what to do and start actually doing the really, really, really uncomfortable hard work that is going to change you.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me every from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about not.

By choice, but because I realized no.

One was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not.

Alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is free, forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that.

Give women a platform.

I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment.

Along with a shout out.

And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you.

So let's get started. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show.

It's time for another quickie because there's.

Always time to fit in inspiration. And I have to tell you a funny story. Not so funny for me. I just recorded this podcast and and it didn't record. So I just spoke for 15 minutes to you guys very, very passionately and it didn't record. So here we are again. And I actually think it's quite funny because the podcast I want to talk to you. What I want to talk to you today about is resistance and how we tend to sit in resistance longer than we ever need to, which is lengthening the time between the things that we want to get done that will actually create that life of our dreams and the path to our soul's evolution. So I want to read you a quote, and I've been thinking a lot about this because I am back in the groove with my weight training and, of course, resistance training. I always think about it because resistance training truly can be in the gym and in life, because it's the resistance and working through the resistance that is going to get you the result that you want. So I want to read you one of my favorite quotes from Steven Pressfield, who wrote the book the War of Art. You guys, if you go and purchase this book, make sure that you do not buy the Art of War. That's a very different book. So go and get the War of Art by Steven Pressfield. So his quote says, rule of thumb. The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it. I'm going to read it again for you. Rule of thumb. The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we feel toward pursuing it. So I want you to think about all of the things that you are avoiding right now in terms of knowing that it's going to be the very thing that is going to create the result you want and the life that you want and is going to evolve you into the person that you know that you want to be. So let's talk about resistance and the forms in which it shows up. And I want to talk about the very first basic form that resistance shows up in. Resistance can show up in not wanting to do it. So then it shows up in pretending. And what do I mean by this? It shows up in pretending that you don't know what to do. Have you ever been in this place pretending that you don't know how to get started? And you can be sitting there right now and you might really be thinking in your mind, lori, I don't know how to get started. You just haven't asked the right question. You just have decided to pretend that you don't know what questions to ask because you are such a smart person. And I have pretended, too. So I want. I want to give you the most powerful thing ever. Like, we're going to. We're actually going to step into your power on this podcast right now, this very minute by deciding that you will never pretend that you don't know what to do again, and you will acknowledge that you are Choosing just to not do it. You're choosing to not look at what is possible. You're choosing that you do not want to do the hard thing. Call the person, talk to the person, figure it out, send the text, send the emails. In order to do what it is that you want to be doing, you're pretending. You're pretending not to know how to do it. And so the biggest, most powerful thing that you will ever do for your life right this very moment is to stop pretending you don't know what to do and start actually doing the really, really, really uncomfortable hard work that is going to change you. And so I did that. I pretended. I pretended. When I started light pink, I said, I don't know. I don't know how to formulate a beverage. I wouldn't know how to sell alcohol online. Everyone told me it's illegal. I wouldn't know that. There could be a workaround, potentially, maybe if I made it with wine instead of alcohol or beer. Like, I was pretending that one person telling me no and then googling it and seeing no that I couldn't do it. I was like, okay, so what am I gonna stop at? 2 Google searches? No, I know that I've gotten wine in the mail before. I know that I've ordered wine in the mail. So how are they doing, you guys? This answer took me a year this answer took me a year to find somebody to figure out how me, the small business person, could sell wine online. Solving that was one of the most challenging things I have ever done in my entire life. And trying to figure out how we were going to be able to do this, what was obviously legal, what can be supported, all of the things. So I. In order for me to reach this massive vision that I had, that was one of the things that I had to pretend or had to stop pretending I didn't know how to do. And a lot of you are like, oh, I want to do this, but I don't know how to do it. I don't know who I talk to. It seems impossible.

And if you're still in the pretending.

Mode, you're never, ever, ever, ever what I want you to do. And some people think that this is harsh. But if you are in pretending mode, where you're saying, I don't know how to do it, what I'd rather have you do is decide that you're not going to, like, you're gonna take that dream off the table and you're not going to pursue it. Because if you're in a place where you're pretending that you don't know how to do it and you still want that big dream. You're setting yourself up for failure and for an expectation hangover. You're setting yourself up for massive disappointment. So unless you are going to decide to take massive ownership over all of the things that you're saying, you don't know how to, or you don't have the network or whatever that is, then I'd rather have you just take it off the table so that you can be present and enjoy what is actually amazing about your life right now. Because it is. There are amazing things about all of our lives. No matter what. We're breathing, we're above ground, we're on this planet. We have the opportunity to change. We have the opportunity to evolve. If you live in the us, you live in an extremely blessed country where we have many decisions that we can make every single day and opportunities and a lot of places don't have that. So looking at where resistance is coming in different forms and when we look at our lives, sometimes I want to go back to when I wrote my book. I actually wrote an entire chapter on resistance towards the end of my book. You guys, I think you'd love it if you have not read A Tribe Called Bliss yet. It's been a while since it's been out, but resistance shows up in different forms. And I told you that resistance shows up in the. I don't know, it shows up in pretending. It also shows up and being busy with things in your life that you're already good at or busy cleaning your house or. For me, when I started writing my book, I would have a writing start time of, let's say anywhere from 10, 11 or 12. Because my creative times for myself, I figured out where between 10 and 2 o'. Clock. And I knew that if I didn't start writing by noon that I wasn't going to write for the entire day. So for me, resistance started showing up in my second cup of coffee in the morning. Meaning instead of just one cup of coffee and getting my day going and getting to the gym and getting things done, I would then sit and have a second cup of coffee. My day would slowly start to. My workout would start later. All the things that I wanted to do would start a little later. And then all of a sudden it was 12:30. I hadn't started writing yet and I'd be like, ugh, well, it's already 12:30. I'm already feeling like my creative time is like going down. And you know what? I should clean my house and oh, I should go and do that other thing. And you'd make busy work or you become bus busy with the things that you know that you're already good at. Or resistance can also come in the form of productivity. But productivity that isn't actually the thing or the focus or the goal that you want to get done. I did this for so many years, going and being productive in things that actually don't move the needle or don't move the needle on my real goal, on that big thing that I want to focus on, on that one thing that I actually really want. And instead I just would continue to be productive on the things that I was already good at or the things that just made me feel good, like, oh, I'm going to go get my car washed and vacuum out the inside. Like that doesn't matter. None of it matters until you get that big thing done. And I know I've been talking about this a lot because I want you guys. The main thing that I hear is that you feel stuck or you don't know what to do or you don't want to live this way anymore and you want that big dre and you want to stop looking at those other people's lives and wishing that you had them. And the way to do that is to realize that nothing else matters except getting that one thing done a day. That is challenging. Moving through the resistance, calling yourself out, calling yourself out where you're stopping yourself to stop being the obstacle. I'm preaching to myself right now because I am the only obstacle in the way of getting things done and getting things done quicker. So I've been thinking about it a lot in the gym because I'm just now starting to be so consistent with my workouts since February. Starting to feel really good again while building this business. I'm so proud of myself and I'm just noticing how resistance training in the gym is the same as resistance training in my life.

With the holidays and the new year coming, you probably are looking around your house thinking that you would love to upgrade and freshen up your environment. And there is no easier way to do that than with your window treatments. Nobody covers windows better than Blinds.com. blinds.com brings your space to life in your way. They have free, free design help. Other retailers may claim to have experts, but blinds.com has spent nearly 30 years building an award winning team of over a hundred design consultants that are ready to help you create your dream space. Always convenient, always tailored to you. Three ways to shop one perfect fit. Whether you want a diy, have it all done for you or you're somewhere in between, choose what works for you and rest easy knowing the fit is guaranteed. So the holidays come fast, you guys, and you can freshen up your window treatments fast as well. And unlike some competitors, the price you see is the price you pay. No hidden fees, and there's zero pressure. From blackout in motorized options to classic shutters, blinds.com has window treatments for every room, style and budget, even shades for your outdoor space. The Black Friday deals@blinds.com are going strong all month long, so don't miss your chance to save big. And as always, our listeners still get $50 off when you spend $500 more. Just use code earn at checkout limited time offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. 2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. That idea that you have that has been eating at you forever that just.

Will not leave you alone is going to come to life.

Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your head and and with Shopify, 2026 is when you.

Finally make it happen.

Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so.

So scared to take the leap and.

I'm so glad that I did and.

That I use Shopify.

It gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos so marketing is built into you can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same dashboard. In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that's shopify.com happy here your first cha ching this new year with Shopify by your side.

If I stop and think about the pain. If I stop and think about the future pain of, oh God, I have to do this again. It's Monday, I have to do this again on Wednesday. Then I'm just holding my own self back. Like, stop thinking and just do the thing that reaps the reward and the life that you want. Like, yes, it's painful, yes, it's not fun, yes, it's lonely, yes, my God, it feels arduous and monotonous. But my God, it keeps you from feeling the real pain that doesn't have the reward on this on the other side, right? It keeps you from feeling that nagging pain of knowing that you're not showing up for your highest self. It keeps you from feeling the pain of just for me, the depression and anxiety around not taking action on what I know God put me on this planet for. Like, I would rather dodge that pain all day long and face the pain of discomfort, face the pain of that challenging email, face the pain of disappointment, face the pain of people saying no to me. I would rather stay busy in the work that I got put here to do than busy in all of this made up work that actually doesn't make me feel good about anything. So you guys, where is your resistance right now? Is it you? What is stopping you? What are you pretending not to know? What are you pretending that you're not able to do because you are? You can literally do anything you don't need. We don't need formal educations anymore. It is crazy, you guys. We live, live in the wild, wild west. We live in the most amazing time in history where we can truly create whatever we want. Access is at the tip of our fingers with Google, with our computers, with our cell phones. It's just up to you if you're willing to stop lying to yourself and actually start learning what it is that you need to be doing and doing it daily. So I hope that this has empowered you and had you decide that you can figure it out, right? Marie Forleo's book Everything is Figureoutable. Decide that everything is figureoutable. So when a challenge comes up or an obstacle comes up, I want to throw in the towel all the time. I don't want to do the hard things, but I also don't want to not do them because I know what that feels like. I've been there. I don't want to go back there. I don't want to struggle in my life. I don't want to worry about where my next paycheck is coming from. I don't want to worry about if we're not going to have a place to live. I don't want to worry about those things anymore. I don't want to worry about my parents calling and needing money and me just saying, sorry, I need money from you. You know, we lived that life. We've done that before. I don't want to worry about those things. I would rather feel the pain of facing the uncomfortable than the pain of what the heck am I doing with my life and how am I going to help people? I want to stop thinking about how I can only help myself and I want to start thinking about how I can help other people, right? How can I bring other people into this vision? How can I live this dream life that I've always want? How can I experience all that I can in this lifetime? That's the life that I wanna live and that's the life that I want for you. And that can only come when we decide to take full ownership and stop pretending that we don't know what to do and how that resistance is showing up in our life. So you guys, I'm sending you so much love as always. I love to hear who is listening or see who's listening to this podcast. If you don't know, I also started another podcast with Ali Web, founder of Drybar and Brit Driscoll, founder of Squeeze called Girlfriends in Business that is very business based. We are talking about what it feels like to start startups again. We always talk about our highs and our lows. We do roundtables. It is very unedited, it is very candid and we're having so much fun because we all have such different backgrounds and and different things that we can add to the conversation. So let us know if you listen over there. And we would love a rate, review a subscribe and we are giving away $2 50 gift cards for the next four weeks from when you hear this if you rate, review and subscribe Girlfriends in Business and as always, if you want and subscribe, earn your happy man. I would just love that. I know it takes some time out of your day, but it would mean a lot. Okay, until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.