735. What to Do When You're in Two Different Seasons

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It's a no brainer. Don't be afraid to play Stupid Idea time as we call it. From our friends Robin Kim Murgatroy. Because that's when some of the hidden gifts show up.

Foreign.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself to later becoming a multi millionaire in love with my life. In 20077 my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing. We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

And we skipped a week.

We did.

Hey guys, we're sorry that we skipped a week.

You were on the road and we couldn't get a hold of you.

We couldn't literally be together in order to record. And here's one of the things a lot of people will record their podcasts with what we call a long lead time, meaning you're recording this month a whole batch of podcasts that come out over the next two months. Lori and I typically like to do more real time podcasts. There's not a right or way wrong of doing it. But I know for my solos and even for these, we like to talk about what's real for us in a moment. Like what's going on right now. You know, what. What are we encountering? What are we working through? What's happened in our lives? And. And so that's the way that we record these. And unfortunately, I was on the road for two weeks, which is going to be a part of this podcast, because this podcast is titled how to survive when you're in two different seasons.

Yeah. And could we have done it? Quite possibly. But we just had this moment where it was, like, so stressful for both of our schedules. He was on the road, he couldn't get anywhere, and we were like, you know what? We'll just let it go.

Yeah.

There are times in business when you need to just let it go. And we are super consistent pretty much everywhere in life.

Well, and it's a great lead into how to survive when you're in two different seasons. So let's start with the basis before we share the tips of what it means to be in two different seasons. Because we're talking not just to couples who might be in two different seasons, we're talking not just to business partners who might be in two different seasons, but also to friends. There's gonna be a time in your life where you find that, hey, I'm in business mode, business building mode, or season, and my friends are in, like, going out and meeting new friends mode.

Yeah. I mean, if you're in startup phase at all, if this is new to you and you're, like, switching gears or pivoting, I'm guessing your friends are probably in a different season than you.

Yeah, exactly. So if you're a couple that's in different seasons, business partners that are in different seasons, or friends are in different seasons, this podcast is for you. And the first tip, the most important thing is honor your season. Don't back down from. From the season that you know you are in. Guys, some of the biggest challenges, some of the biggest problems in life come from you not honoring either when you need rest and you're in a season of rest, or when you are in a season of push, because, baby, you are ready to go.

Yeah, it was really interesting. I kind of, like, after my book, I took a year to kind of figure out my life, and I was definitely in a slower season, meaning I just had. I already knew what I was doing. I knew I needed to show up for my podcast, certain launches, things like that. But outside of that, I was kind of taking some time to myself to figure out what I wanted to do next. And it was really interesting because I was in a slower season, and A very contemplative season. And then when I realized what I wanted to do next, I was really in, like, rocket ship mode. And it's funny, as soon as I switched, this is going to happen to you guys too. When I was in the slow season, all I saw was, like, my friends hustling. And then when I became in rocket ship mode, this message amongst a lot of the people I was hanging out with started to come into, like, this, go slow, surrender, stop hustling. Hustle isn't healthy. And while yes, that's true, true, permanent hustle is not healthy, I was in. That's like telling a woman who is giving birth to a child to stop giving birth. Like, that's how it felt. I was like, this idea needs to come out. I am in rocket ship mode. Like, don't tell me not to use everything that I have to get this out there. So I want to give you permission, first of all, for whatever season you're in.

Honor it.

To honor that and know that it's something that has to come out. And you can't stop in the middle of the birthing process just because you're not being supported or your friends aren't showing up for you. So how are you going to get through that?

And just like the year where you were taking a lot of time off to figure out what you really, truly wanted to do next, you couldn't have not honored that season either, or you continued down the path of doing something that was no longer as fulfilling, and it wouldn't have given you the ideas of, oh, my God, I know what I want to do next.

Yeah, that's really huge. You know, just. Even this last weekend, I almost worked through the whole holiday weekend, and I had a moment on Sunday where I was going to work on Sunday and Monday, and I was like, wait, I know this feeling. I have a lot of creative things that need to come through, and if I end up working, I'm not gonna have space. And I had so many things come through for me from just even. Just two small days of space. So I wanna let you know, like, when you are in that mode of slowing down, there's so much happening. If I didn't. If I wouldn't have slowed down, I wouldn't have had days and days and months and months to ask different questions and really look at it from different angles. And my company would not be born right now. And I already know that.

It's so clear with this first tip of honor your season. We also have to understand there's big seasons and mini seasons. So the big season is I'm taking six months off to rest and recoup and I'm getting back in the grind. Or big seasons are, hey, I am starting to start up, I'm raising money and I'm, I'm launching the business, right. Those are six to 12 month seasons or sometimes 24 month seasons. But the mini seasons are, I need three days to completely clear everything, even though I'm in a push season, because I need a breather, I need new perspective, I need some clarity, I need some space. And so you're going to have many seasons that are the antithesis to the big season that you're in and that's always the way it's going to be. But number one, honor your season. Number two, ask for what you need. And you've done such a good job of this and let me frame it. So here we move from LA to Arizona. One of the things that you know about Arizona is it's just too damn hot for three to four months. And so the plan all along was, hey, if we're going to live here in Arizona, then each year we're going to escape using that awesome motorhome that we have for three to four months and go somewhere cooler. And we've got a boat that we keep at a lake home up in Wisconsin and we'll go up there and we'll see the country, et cetera, et cetera. Except, even though that's the broad plan, that doesn't fit Lori's season right now. And she's done a great job of asking for what she needs. That's tip number two, ask for what you need. She hasn't been afraid to say, chris, this is not the year for that. Chris, this is not the year I can be on the road for three months. Chris, this is not the year I can be up at the lake for three months. This is the year I need to be here. And sure, we can have a couple of mini getaways, we can have a smaller abbreviated time, not the three months. But I can't do the three month thing this year because this business is made or, you know, this is my make or break it moment. This is my push season. And because she is so unapologetically asked for what she needs, it's been easier for me to know what I'm operating with and it's been easier for me to understand how I can support her. Instead of making assumptions, we're going to do one thing and then all of a sudden it turning out that we're going to do something different.

Yeah. And it wasn't if I'm being super real. It wasn't easy for me to ask for that because I knew that I was breaking your expectation of what you wanted, you know, maybe what you pictured, maybe what you had carved out in your season. And I knew it was a big ask. You know, I know that you have this motorhome that you want to be using. I know that you really want to be traveling. I know that you are better at working from anywhere than me. I really struggle. I don't want that to be my story. But it's just kind of like I feel very grounded when I'm in one spot, working and creating. You know, my staff that I work with daily is here that I, like, really, really work well with. That holds me accountable, and I show up really well.

So.

So that was actually a challenge. And you and I had some fights over it. And, you know, and a lot of it is because of what I was. Even the stories that I was building in my head. But it wasn't easy. But you have to keep on coming back and having conversations around it. And one thing that we said during, you know, some of maybe our heated moments, or maybe only my heated moment, I'm not really sure what it was.

They're all heated. It's June in.

They're all fricking hot.

Arizona.

Okay. Was. We had to keep saying, hey, hey, we want the same thing. Like, you said it once. I said it once. I said it like five times.

It might be in two different seasons, but we want the same thing.

We just. And that had to keep pulling us out of kind of like these heated discussions of like, well, that's not what I want for my life. That's not why I worked this hard. Or that's not, you know, so it's not easy. It's not like we just had these conversations and it was easy. They were not comfortable. They weren't fun. We struggled with them, but we had to keep reminding ourselves that we do want the same thing.

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And that's number three over communicate your long term goals. You know, problems happen when you're in two different seasons when you are not coming back to the big vision, the long term goals, the big vision is that we both want a certain type of retirement, we both want a certain type of lifestyle, we both want a certain type of, you know, impact and all these things. We just happen to be in two different seasons. Right. I'm just coming out of a massive push season. I want some space, I want some fun. You're in a massive push season. You already had some space, you had some fun. And so you need to over communicate your long term goals. Because when you can stay centered on the thing that unites you, when you can stay centered on the thing that bonds you, then that makes it easier to coexist in two different seasons and honor where the other person's at.

Yeah, it's interesting. I had to like, really look at where I was making up a story as well. Like, what story I'm choosing to adopt just as far as, do I have to be burnt out? Can I actually not travel? Because I started with like, I don't want to go anywhere, you know, like, I just want to be grounded. And that's not even a comp. That's not a compromise because I started with like, I don't want to leave at all this year. And then it was like, okay, could I actually leave, you know, for a week or two? What would that look like if I feel like I need to be working with, you know, Lauren, who is essentially my amazing partner in building this right now. What would that look like if she had to come with, like, if, okay, if I'm getting maximum work and we just plow through everything, what would that look like if maybe I met her for a week on the road and then the other week it was without her and so like getting really creative, like if I, okay, you know, we had the discussion, like, I don't work great in the rv, like we can travel across country in it, but what would it look like to maybe potentially get an Airbnb once we get there so that I can have better working space?

I think it's just getting creative in.

Your season and saying, where can you compromise and where are you not willing to give? Because entering that conversation with friends and family is going to be a little bit easier than you being like, no, this is what I Want. It's like, okay, we know what you really want. So, like, see what your North Star is, but then see where you can.

Compromise, you know, that's a great segue into use this time to try new things. That's number four. You're saying, hey, my story is I operate one way, but I'm going to use this opportunity to try new things. Play stupid idea time. Why couldn't my team come to me? Why couldn't we, you know, do different plans of what we had? So, for example, my version of trying new things is I wanted to be on the road. My mom, who spends winters in Arizona and spends summers up at the lake house in Wisconsin, she had to get home and I wasn't gonna be like, Hey, 72 year old mom, you know, grab your own dog and drive your own self cross country. That's not right. And so I saw an opportunity. Wait, if I want to be on the road in the motorhome this year and I need to help mom get home, why don't I make a motorhome vacation with mom out of it? And guess what? It turned out to be awesome. We created so many epic memories that we wouldn't have created otherwise because we tried new things. And then what did I do? I said, hey, I need a co pilot on the way home. So I asked your dad to come back with me and he got to come back and I got to spend a whole bunch of days with him, like getting to know him better and creating neat memories with Lori's dad that I wouldn't have created otherwise. So trying new things out of a situation where we're in different seasons actually resulted in brand new gifts that we wouldn't have had otherwise. And so it's just a really good point. Number four there is don't be afraid to try new things. Don't be afraid to play stupid idea time, as we call it from our friends Robin Kim Murgatroy. Because that's when some of the hidden.

Gifts show up, you know, And I think one of the things I'm really tapping into is when circumstances aren't going my way and they're less than perfect, I'm always like, it's never perfect. But how can you show up in this? Like, how can you make the best of it? And I think as entrepreneurs, that is where that's, that's make or break. Like, if you can't show up in different circumstances, you're never going to make it. So using the different circumstances as life, school, as the exercise, as the I Don't love this. This is not perfect. I don't want to be here right now and building this, but how can I just, like, make it work? That's how a lot of days look if we're being real, right? Like, oh, my God, we have seven people in the house today. The dogs are barking. We're supposed to be recording modules or podcasts all day. Not ideal. Can't change it. How are we going to make it work? I don't want to be in the rv. I have no cell service. I have no wifi. Let's just say in the past we're fixing that problem. Okay, not ideal. What can you do? How can you fit that into a smaller pocket? Or how can you stop at this truck stop and get as much as you can? And those are random examples. But what I'm trying to say is how can you make it work in a less than ideal circumstance?

I love that. And number five is find people in the same season as you. And this is something you've done really well. Guys, I'm finding some of my guy friends where, as you know, I go and we fly, we meet up, we meet once a month to have dinners so I can keep up those relationships because we are in more of a fun summer season, something we always do, but now we're really doing it right. And, Lori, you're finding people in the same season as you, people who are in go mode, business mode, and understand some of the situations that you're in.

Yeah, when I'm in that season that you're in, I absolutely want to be surrounded by those people, too. To thrive in it, to really utilize it and enjoy that energy of a bit of freedom, a bit of exploration, a bit of space, which always brings the best ideas. Right. And I'm already in idea mode, and now I'm in implementation integration, which I want to be around those people who are also in it. You know, I only want to talk about business. I only want to, like, I want to work on the weekends. Yeah, I want to have a little bit of fun, but, like, I want to do everything that supports it. I want to be as healthy as I can be right now to support my energy levels and my. My mind and my mindset and all of those things. I want to only be talking about how this vision is going to come to life. I only want talk to other business people who are talking about the same thing. Like, it's challenging for me to just talk about, I don't know, not business. And I want to honor that. Because that's how you get something birthed into the world. And you know, I think, yes. Can it go to an unhealthy point? I'm sure. But who's to say what about anyone's life? Like that's, that's kind of where I struggle as well, is who's to say that they're not just in a season and that it just isn't their years to get something huge birthed and out into the world or it's their season to maybe not do that.

The only way that you find the answer to those things is by honoring the season you're in. And so whether you find yourself in different seasons with friends, different seasons with significant others, different seasons with business partners, guys, this can actually be a really beautiful thing. Follow these tips Honor your season. Ask for what you need over. Communicate your long term goals. Use this time to try new things and find people to who are in the same season as you to support you. You do that and you can actually find beautiful things and accelerate whatever season you are in and have it be a win win for everybody.

Yeah, guys, I hope that this helped you just to settle into where you're at. Let it be. Okay. I think that's the biggest thing is give yourself the permission to either be in a season where you're open and you're questioning and you're recharging and you're relaxing, or you are in go mode and you're not apologizing for it because you're communicating to your family and your friends.

Love it. All right guys, thanks for listening. I promise we will continue to always be in podcast season and continue to bring you whatever is real for us in the moment. In the meantime, thanks for listening. We always appreciate you.

Thanks guys.