736. Win the Battle with Your Mind

Truly, I think the best CEOs and business people that I'm finding are the ones who just understand how to control their mind and look at it from a place of like very powerful awareness and not from a place of reacting to what's happening or all of the problems that come up as an entrepreneur.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur.

My.

My journey has taken me everywhere. From being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not.

Alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you, and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that.

Give women a platform, I want to feature you.

So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions.

Answered on our Q and A segment.

Along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. And it's time for another quickie.

Because there's always time to fit in inspiration and this is real time.

I'm always sharing with you exactly what I'm thinking and where I'm at. And I am in a place where my entire focus and work is truly mastering my mindset. Because I know that if I do this, I can do anything. I can literally do anything. And that sounds pretty crazy. Even saying it out loud into this microphone and hearing myself say it out loud. But as you guys know, this is a bit of my therapy session as well, for my own self. I'm kind of always verbally working it out for myself. But with that said, I do in my core, when I say it, it feels like truth. And then as soon as my mind processes my words that I'm saying, it's like, are you kidding me? Oh, my God. And that is what we're talking about today, is mastering your mindset, mastering the battlefield that is your mind. So I want to talk about this, because if we can overcome all of the different thoughts and emotions that come with some setting our big, lofty goal that we know we are here for our purpose. Come on, you guys. You know you have it. Even if you don't have it nailed down and it's not super clear yet. You feel something. I know that you feel something. You wouldn't have even tuned in to that little app on your phone or looked on itunes for a podcast about happiness or with this title if there wasn't something that was tapping you. And we all have it. It's just. Have we decided to numb it out? Have we been, you know, maybe hanging out with people who aren't so great? Are we watching a bunch of crap? Are we, you know, numbing it out with food or drink or all the things? Shopping, online shopping? What are we doing to try to numb out that tapping and. And letting our minds take control of us? So I was just reading on this because I'm. I'm reading a ton of articles and just reading some different books, and a story came up that I absolutely love. Just. Just an example. And it was talking about how our minds work, and I just thought it was a great analogy for us to really understand what's happening. So have you guys ever been out on a walk and seen someone or had a dog like this where you are watching someone on a dog walk and the dog is absolutely taking them for the walk, like it's going wherever they want. It's pulling them left and right. They don't know how to control the dog. They're not trying to control the dog. They're just kind of letting it go at its whim, getting pulled everywhere. And the story was talking about how that is our mind, that we, at the owner, us, let's say it's our dog. We absolutely have control over the situation, even though it doesn't feel that way. Anyone who's had a puppy, I have now had two puppies in my life. Anyone who's in this situation, it doesn't always feel like you have control. But the thing is, is that if we learn how to control it and we learn what those things are that we can do in order to train the dog. And if we stick to it in time, all of a sudden, one day, you go on a walk and you're like, this shit worked. And that's totally how it is with your mind. You're like, this is never gonna work. Like, you're sticking to this training. You're sticking to this training. You're trying to do all you can. You're still getting pulled around. And then all of a sudden, we one day, it's like, oh, my God, this is really working. Oh, my gosh, I have this awesome dog on my hands. And then fast forward two years later, three years later, you're like, I am so glad I put in all that work, because now I have this dog that actually listens when I tell it things. It doesn't mean the dog doesn't do bad things. It means that the dog actually listens. Right? And that's exactly our mind. It doesn't mean the mind doesn't do bad things. It means that the mind listens when you give it a command now, and it quickly does it. And that's exactly what this is. I thought that was the best analogy, because it's like, it's gonna feel like nothing is happening. You're gonna be like, this is so stupid. My mind is wild. Like, you're gonna think that you are your mind. And that was another part of the story that I loved, is that that reference just gave me such a good visual that we think that our mind is the dog, or we think that we are the dog, right? We think that we're the dog. Except what happens is we are the person in the person walking and our mind is the dog. But we get to. As the spirit, as the soul, as the awareness behind the mind, we get to choose what the mind does. So as the trainer of the mind, that is who you are. The soul, the awareness, you get to choose how the mind, AKA the dog is reacting. So I just thought that was so powerful for me to be like, okay, I see what my dog is doing. I see that my dog is frantically scratching a hole in the carpet right now, trying to dig itself to China and get out of this very uncomfortable situation. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to be aware of it. Stop it. Right? That's what you have to do with an animal. You actually have to, like, catch it in that moment and correct it. And that's exactly what. And tell me this doesn't work. I mean, it works on an animal's mind. It will work on arms. Ours, arms. I don't know. If you want great arms, maybe it'll work on that too. It will work on ours.

So catch and correct.

That's all you're doing. It's just like training an animal. Catch and correct. So really, I don't know about you, but my mind can feel like a wild neurotic animal. Like sometimes I look at my dog Bananas when he's crazy and I'm like, buddy, I feel you. Like, see you. That's what's happening up here. I'm just not responding to it. Like that's what's happening in my own brain. I'm just not doing what you're doing. Um, so let's talk about that. So according to peak performance experts and athletes, winning is 80% the mind and 20% skill. Let's apply that to entrepreneurship. So a lot of you are like, I don't have the skill set. I don't, you know, have the network. Okay, great. Do you have 20% of it? Because that's all that you need. If you can control your mind, if you can 80% train your mind to understand these thoughts that are coming in, the. These things that are visiting in, in the fear that's happening and all of the self doubt that's coming in. If you can train your mind around that, you can then use your mind to logically think about how you can get around not having the skill set. Right. To hire, to delegate, to delegate, to move things forward, to create a business plan to find the people who you need in your plan where you have the gaps. So truly I think the best CEOs and business people that I'm finding are the ones who just understand how to control their mind and look at it from a place of like very powerful awareness and not from a place of reacting to what's happening or all of the problems that come up. As an entrepreneur, all you have it.

Should be a problem Preneur.

Like that should be our name if you even think you want to have a business ever, because that's all you do is solve problems. So I always find it so funny when we, the entrepreneur, especially when I get to work in these groups and masterminds like they get, we get thrown off, right? I'm not saying they, because it's definitely me too. We get thrown off with problems like they're a surprise. Like you're literally a problem preneur like you. If you didn't have problems, you wouldn't have a business. Like, all you do is solve problems. That is your job every single day. And if you're not an entrepreneur and then you solve someone else's problems, problems which is also powerful. And we need those people too. So that's the only difference. Life is problem solving. And those problems make us stronger, they make us better, they make us smarter, they make us wiser. And so now with training my mind, when a problem comes up, I literally say, okay, how are you viewing this? Are you viewing this as a problem or a wall? Or are you viewing this as something that can make you better and is going to give you answers? So now when they come up, I'm like, okay, what is this trying to tell me? What's the next path? Who else do I need to find? Maybe these aren't the right people to solve the problem. Maybe I have to find something else. How is this going to make us better? How does this make us stronger? I'm not viewing them as problems anymore. I'm viewing them as like the path. It's what it's paved with. It's. It's how you grow. It's how you get a business to the place where it's successful. So the first thing that I do is really reframe what a problem is in general. Because, you guys, our minds are ancient and they are meant to keep us protected. So we're dealing with a brain that is only meant to keep us from being hurt. Right? And to find food. And it's very, very primal. It's like it searches for all of the ways that you could get hurt during the day or that things could go wrong. And I've talked about it a lot before, but because we're not really running from dinosaurs anymore or, or running from, you know, lions and tigers, we're pretty safe for the, um, we are now running from our fears. Like we are now running from people who make us nervous. We're now running from things that make us anxious and whatever that looks like. So our brain truly is. We are wired to focus on the negative. But the great news is, is that your brain is malleable. Like your brain 100% is trainable at any age through your. Your life. So when we understand that, we can then know that even if we look for the negative, we can train it to immediately stop and look for the positive. And this took me a lot of years to get, but you can absolutely do it. Your Brain also doesn't respond well to guilt, shame or negative self talk. Now if it's worked for you before, I understand that it has worked and that you might want to keep going back to it because I have done this. It worked really well for me a couple years when I was first, first like learning about, you know, just anything. I wanted to get into the fitness space, I wanted to do fitness competitions. And for me I was like a really hard on myself, like super, super tough on myself. Like, you know, you've never finished anything, you're a loser, you got to finish this. Do you want to stay a loser your whole life? Like those were the type of things that I would say to myself. You know, you're just, you're not smart enough. You got to show people like all of the things that are really negative and I'm sure a lot of other really awful things I don't even wanna say in the microphone anymore because I'm just like so past that place. But it was definitely the negative, very awful coach to myself. And that worked for a little while, until it didn't. And when it stopped working, I kept trying to go back to it and it wasn't working anymore and I had to learn a sustainable way. So if you're in that place and you're like, no, that works. You know, especially if you're, you're like, I'm gonna do a business goal or a health goal and I'm gon so hard and set all the goals and I'm not going to sleep and maybe I have a health goal and I'm not going to eat as much and I'm going to starve myself and I'm going to overwork out and all of the things that you think work and even right now, if you're clinging onto them, you're like, no, no, it worked for me once, I can do it again. It's not sustainable. It only has a short time period before that will stop working. You have to learn a new way of doing and doing life and being. And so I want to give you some tools that you're going to be able to switch your mindset out on right away. And I would be lying if I didn't tell you some of the things that I absolutely do every single day of my life. So doesn't matter what you believe on this one too, but I'm just gonna speak in terms like I always do, as far as believing that there is something bigger than you that can help you, whether you believe this is energy, universe, Or God. For me, it is God. The universe works with God. For me, it's all the same. You need to believe that there is something bigger than you that can help you win your mindset and that is going to help you get to your goal in this thing that you know you are here to do. So what does this look like? I love this quote. This is so powerful for me. When I start to feel really exhausted, like I don't have an answer, like, I'm never going to be able to do this on my own. Like, what the hell am I thinking? I am in way over my head with this company. I always say, okay, if I'm feeling weak, it's because I'm relying on my own strength. There's a beautiful quote. I can't remember who says it, but it's, we feel weak when we are relying on our own strength. That's when we turn our back on faith, God, energy, universe, and we think that we have to do this all on our own. I want you to think in your life for one second to a time when something has happened that you couldn't have done on your own. Whether you call this synchronistic, you know, whether you call this a miracle, whatever you call this, think of a time when something has happened that you just could not have even made happen. It was so freaking amazing. You were probably in a state of surrendering up or full faith or really focusing on what you wanted. You probably weren't in a super negative space. You were probably in a really good place. So with that said, from that place, that's where we want to be operating. And how do we get there with a brain that is literally working against us 24 7. Now when we understand that the brain is plastic and is malleable, we can know that we can start choosing just like that dog, right? We just, our brain is a new puppy. We just have a new puppy happening up there. And what happens is, even if you've trained your mind in another arena and now you have this great guard dog, right? Like you've just got this incredible animal that's just like listens to everything, AKA your brain, when you take that animal into a new place, right, let's just say this animal has been trained and you've been living out in the country. It does great on the farm. It listens to you with any command that you want around all of these other animals. And then all of a sudden you bring this machine, very, very highly trained dog into the city and your dog now has to go in elevators. Your dog now has to walk on crazy crowded streets with people and stop at stoplights and all of these different things. That dog isn't going to know what the hell to do because you haven't trained it in that scenario. So even if you have been in personal development for a very long time or you're like, man, I got this business totally down pat, like I feel great about it, I don't get too thrown off in this arena. Go into another arena, brand new training. You've got a completely different, like completely different set of training. You're going to, it's going to, your dog is going to respond different. It's not going to know what to do yet. It's not going to know what sets it off. So you literally are in a new arena and we're training all over again. This is the mind. I've never heard a better analogy ever.

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So really powerful to know. It doesn't matter where you're at. It's a whole new set of training that you're going to have to do. So with that said, the quote, we feel weak when we are relying on our own strength. You might feel like you've been carrying a lot of things around, like you're not able to do this on your own. It's because you are not relying on faith and you're not offering up all of the anxiety and stress and thought, trying to catch the thoughts and let them go. So here's exactly what I do, if you really want to know, here's exactly what I do. And every single day when I was really, really getting into this type of work, it was when I very first moved to California. I used to listen to Gabby Bernstein all the time on my runs. And she talked a lot about surrendering and offering it up. Offering it up, meaning your negative thoughts, your fears, all of those things that drain the energy out of your body. And so I would listen to these. She would do like these discourses essentially for an hour, these talks that were an hour long. And I'd listen to all of these different talks that she would give while I was on my runs. And I would notice that I would be on my runs and all of a sudden my thought, my. My dog, right? My thought my brain would go to something that I didn't want it'd go to something fearful. Oh my God, what if this goes wrong? Oh my gosh, what if people don't buy tickets to my event? Oh my gosh, what if, what if none of these courses sell? What if we don't make money? What if we're employed? We go back to our situation that we were in which was in debt? What if all of the what ifs and the things that she had said is to catch it, like, be aware of it, see it, catch it, insert new thought. So what I do is I see it, I say I release this thought and I choose again. And then I insert new thought. And that's all I did. I did it over and over and over again. And to be honest with you, it's not all I did. It's what I do daily. And so it's noticing and choosing again. And noticing and choosing again is the two simple things that are going to help you master your entire mindset. And there is one more piece that if I left it out, it may not work for you as effectively. It's noticing and choosing again. And like I said, I release this thought. I say I release this thought to God. I release this thought to you. I surrender it. Please take it from me. I can't carry it, I can't handle it. And I'm choosing again. And that's what I say. I literally picture it. I picture putting that thought in my hands and I give it up to this guy. So whether you believe in universe, God, whatever, give it a try, give it to something bigger than you. I don't want to lose you in the messaging. I want you to find what feels good for you so that you can feel that there is something bigger than you that is willing to take that from you. Then you're not meant to carry it. That's when you create what we call a God sized dream, right? Just a massive, massive dream where it's the type of dream where you cannot do it on your own. So that's the type of dreams that we're talking about on this podcast, the type that you literally were born for, the type that got you to tune into this podcast. Podcast. I don't know, let's. Let's just make up words now. Podcast for a reason. So I hope that this helps. I hope that this helps you tune into that place that really is going to just have you be a master of your mindset and help you with all of the things that you're going to do. Because remember, you only need to be 20% skilled guys it's pretty good. 80%. It's 80%. A mind game and understanding. Just remembering you are not the crazy dog on the end of the leash. You can be the master with enough time and enough training. So I'm sending you so much love today. I'm so grateful for you guys. As always, sharing means the world. Tagging, rating, reviewing. That's how this podcast keeps going. And it just. I am, like, so grateful to be able to talk to you and go on your walks, your runs, all of the things in your car. I don't know. Thanks. Thanks for always tagging and showing us. Showing me where we are together. Okay, until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.