740. How to Build the Bravery to Accomplish Your Dreams with Sarah Pendrick, Founder of GirlTalk Network

The more that I just started showing up as myself, the more like the people that were really meant to be in my life. The women and the friendships came in.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, bestselling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in my myself to later becoming a multi millionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you' not alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing. We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a pleasure platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. Today we are talking all about bravery and I don't know about you, but I absolutely want more of that in my life because we can do so much more when we learn how to build that muscle. So my amazing guest today is my dear friend Sarah Pendrick. She's the founder of Girl Talk Network, a women empowerment and lifestyle brand and she's the creator of Girl Talk foundation which also gives back to younger generations. She's a sought after mentor, host, author of the book Beautifully Brave and creator of the Women's empowerment and self development event Girl Talk Festival. She's dedicated her life to supporting people in living bravely as their true selves, teaching them to believe in their gifts so that they can live their full life of abundance, love, and completely knowing of their worthiness. She's been featured in Forbes, NBC, the Doctors E. Entrepreneur, and has been called. Called an iconic woman creating a better world at the Women Economic Forum and has spoken on stages all around the world. She lives in Manhattan beach with her husband Josh, and their fur baby, Titan. I'm so excited for this conversation because I know it's going to benefit you so much in all that you do. We all want to be a little bit more brave, so listen in.

Sarah, thank you so much for coming back on the show. I'm so excited to have you.

Yay. I'm so excited to be doing this with you. Thank you for having me again.

Yes. I. Okay. I don't even know, like, the gap from when you were first on the show to now. Like, this is that whole phrase that people always talk about where they're like, they. You drastically underestimate, like, what you can do in five years.

I just.

You guys, her and I, like, you.

Were one of the.

Okay, I just have to share this with everyone because you were one of my first. Like, not. Not first, but when I first started this outreach, like, you were one of my first friend dates that I reached out to in Los Angeles. When people like you and I both get this question all the time. They're like, how do you make friends? How do you connect with these awesome people? I was like, I was scared shitless. And I searched hashtags on events in the Los Angeles area, and you came up and I watched a video, and I was like, oh, my God, this girl's amazing. Oh, my God.

Just.

I'm going to reach out to. And I stalked you a little bit, and you responded, and we went to coffee, and it was amazing. And here we are.

I feel like that was three or four years ago.

It was. It was before my book. It was a year before my book, which. That was 2017, so this was 2016.

And you know what's crazy about that is that was. You were, like, one of the first people I also went on an Instagram friend date with. And right before that. Oh, right before that, I was in my, like, really lonely time of. Oh, is there anyone that, like, understands, you know what, like, wants to talk about the same things that I want to talk about? And then I remember, like, you sitting across from me, and I'm like, I don't even remember if I talked. I just remember looking at you. Like, I was explaining to you, like, what I was saying, how I was feeling. You're like, yeah, it's like earth angels. I'm like, that's what you are right now. To me. I'm excited to be sitting here right now.

That is so awesome. I think we were just both in such the same place of, like, really desiring connection, and we were simultaneously both connecting a ton of other women to each other while being the leader of that and not necessarily taking that for ourselves and connecting ourselves. I think that's so crazy that we do that. That's exactly what we do. We tend to give to everyone else what we're desiring the most and we forget to give it to ourselves, which. This is such a good topic. Cause it's kind of from what we were just chatting about, what a lot of your book is about is defining what that means for you and what that looks like for you with self care and all of the things and being brave and being courageous and having the frequency and the energy that you need to attract all of these people and attract the things that you want into your life. So I love that this story is tying in so awesomely right now. So, you guys, we can't even catch you up on the back end of everything that's been going on from that last podcast, but you can feel free to go back. We'll link it up as well. And you can just see the journey that's been taken. But Sarah, I'm so excited to have you on talking about. We're going to talk all the things. But you guys know I have a special place in my heart for authors because of the journey that it is to put your soul on the outside of your body and then be like, well, what do you think, everyone? And wait for that. So I'm really, really excited that you've taken this journey. So tell me a little bit about the book journey and just where this book came from. It's titled Beautifully Brave. I'd love to hear about it.

Yeah, Lori, I mean, you've been a part of this too, because I just remember watching you through your journey and just, you know, there's like ups and downs and then you hit like the you. It's just the craziest journey and you sometimes don't fully understand it until you're in it. But I just remember you navigating it and I'm able to kind of get through some of the things that come up during the journey because remembering you going through yours. So I've been really grateful and You've been so amazing. I'm so supportive. So I'm so grateful for that first coffee date and everything that's come with it. And with the book, it's like, one of those things which I'm sure a lot of people listening. I knew that I wanted to write a book. I've always known that I didn't know what it was going to be about or when. And all the things. And I know so many people say, when, you know, you know. And for me, that was true. I was like, all right. Was that the same for you? You're like, totally, totally, totally.

I just. And I know that this was probably for you, too. I literally did not understand how that was gonna. It felt so far away, though. Like, I could not fathom how it was gonna happen, but when. You know, when I just knew.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was so true. And I'm excited about the book because a lot of the things that I've experienced in my life, just, like Girl Talk, my company, I created because I needed that. And so I've just been gathering all these unconventional lessons and ways to be beautifully brave and all the things that we love, talking about the science behind happiness and what real, true inner love is. And I've been collecting those lessons and processes and methods through the years to get through my own healing. So I was excited to put it all in this book that's also very, very beautiful. Beautiful from the inside out. And for it to be on coffee tables and shelves and really speak to you and empower women, and for it to be an easy read, that's like, your BFF next to you along your journey. So I'm really excited about it. And it's been, you know, the process, it's been a beautiful and the most challenging journey of something that I've created yet.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so tell me a couple of the times. Like, I just want to know if you went through this. So I just want to hear, like, what your experience was. Like, the days where you're like, first we'll go on the high where you're like, I think this is really good. Like, I think I'm a writer. Like, I think I'm so great. And then the very next day, you're like, I'm horrendous. Like, I can't even put a sentence together. This is going to be the worst piece of work that's ever been put in the world. I shouldn't get paid for any of this. Like, tell me the day today on, like, you it's unpredictable. Tell me those.

It's unpredictable. I mean, it was literally maybe in the same day I was like, this is the best thing that's ever been written. Oh my gosh. And then, and then a couple hours later, I'm like, oh, okay, super like self doubt, like felt it in my body, like, what the heck is going on? This is permanent. I can't delete it. Like freaking out.

Yeah.

Oh my God. I would, I would have that and then I'd be like, maybe I'm just like a one paragraph wonder because I'd get like one good paragraph maybe in a week. And I was like, that just felt right, you know? Oh, you just. The journey is insane, you guys. I've never, I've never had to just like talk to myself so much in my entire life. So that's why when people come on with a book, I'm like, oh, I see you. I know what you just went through. And it's like such a beautiful, horrible, amazing. You're just a different. You're, you'll never be the same. You're such a different person on the other side that if you can do this, you really feel like you can do a lot of anything because it's so, it's so personal and it's so much exposing yourself. So I just fully applaud you and it's just gonna inspire so many people to also wanna write a book and to share their story because our stories are so powerful. And Sarah, I think one of the things that I was just completely in awe about you is your story. I think that when people maybe look at what you've created, it's like, wow, that's so amazing. You do these epic girl talk events and you have these incredible speakers and you run in this awesome circle and my God, you have this incredible life. But I know that you created that and I know that you also, you know, struggled in your teen years and you've struggled with women and you've had, you know, such an incredible story. Would you share just some of the things that maybe you haven't, you know, something that you haven't shared with people before or that you shared in the book. That was a challenging thing to share.

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Yeah. So a lot of things have happened throughout my life and we all have experienced trauma. For me, I look back. And the reason that I'm able to do anything that I do today or write this book or have these people around me I know is from my healing and saying yes to myself, from the things that have happened. So most of my memories before, I don't remember a lot before five, because five years old, I was sexually assaulted. And then I was just this bright, you know, as you come into the world, like this new soul, like, excited, like, not. Not fearful of anything. And I do remember being a little girl like that until I was sexually assaulted. And then from there, I was bullied in elementary school and in high school and middle school, and then at 19, I was raped. So those years were. They were a lot. You don't feel safe. I even think. Yeah, And I even think that for years after that, up until recently, like, I was processing that because I stuff. I stuffed those away. I didn't tell people. I didn't get. I didn't get any support. I didn't get any help until later in life. I went to school and wanted to be a psychologist because I'm like, oh, that's what. That's what people like when this happens to people. Psychologists help you. So I should be a psychologist. So that's just. Our brains are this beautiful thing that, you know, do protect us. And that's what my brain was doing for me was like, protecting me and having me be able to get through life. But at the same time, it brought a ton of walls up. I had a lot of things to work through. And essentially it brought me to writing this book and to anything that I do. The girl talk events, I mean, I realized that I was doing those because I knew there was women out there that had been sexually assaulted. I knew that there was women out there that wanted to be entrepreneurs and didn't know where to start. And so I ultimately created what I wish I would have had. And from there, it's been the most amazing healing process. And that's where I was able to process everything and then really lead into a more empowered and soul connected life.

Oh, man. So just looking back at, you know, when you. Because I did the same thing with some of the things that happened in my life. Just shove it down. I carried a lot of shame around the things that weren't my fault. But I think that we can go down this place of, like, well, if that happened, maybe there was a part of me that, you know, like, brought that on or created that. I know that that was the case for me, that I just felt like, okay, act like, it didn't happen. I actually had a girlfriend who knew about one of the things that had happened, and I had told her about, like, a sexual assault experience. And she was like, just don't talk about it again. Like, don't talk. She literally told me. And this was not. She's not a bad person. This was what she was taugh in what she was trying to help. She truly was coming from a place of trying to help me. She said, just don't talk about it ever again. Don't ever think about it again. And it's like, it never happened. Well, instead, I just imprinted it into my DNA and deeper into my bones, and it was holding me back in ways I did not even realize. So for you, looking back, how did that come up throughout your life? Like, what were some of the things that it stopped you with? Things. Did it have beliefs around different relationships? I know that this is such a big question because it does affect everything.

Everything.

So what were you seeing most? Like, what was being held back where, you know, in your life from? Maybe goals or relationships or whatever that looked like.

Yeah. So, I mean, I would have, like, visceral reactions. Like, I didn't tell anyone about it. I think I finally shared after when. After what had happened when I was 19, I shared it with a friend in college. Same thing. Like, she didn't know what to say. And I'm. I'm sure that she had the similar experience. We just, like, weren't taught to talk about it, and she's just kind of like, oh, I don't think you should tell anyone. And I had shame around that. I thought that it was also my fault because I knew the person and all those things that go through your mind. So for me, not really realizing how it affected me at age 5 until later, more so knowing how it affected me at 19. But I would feel things in my body. Like, I would feel fear in my body, which prevented me from having full trust. Full trust and relationships. Full trust and friendships. Full trust in things working out for me. Like, I had that thing where something great might happen, but I had that deep fear of, like, well, when's like, the other page gonna turn and this isn't gonna work out, or. You know what I'm talking about?

Yes.

Okay.

So that brings me to the next question of, you know. So I think in the beginning, you and I both actually bonded kind of over some of the. If I'm remembering the conversation, like, just some of the different things that we had had come up, even in friendships and Female relationships. And I mean, that really can develop the way that, you know, the lens that you see everybody through. And it's. It's a challenge to change the lens. It can be absolutely done. It's been done for both of us. Um, but, you know, when you have been so hurt by another person and this goes into the trauma that you were just talking about as well, but when you have these experiences of being hurt, Sarah, like, how have you worked through them as you started to notice, like, wow, I had this thing, this bullying happen with these girls. How did that impact you with your relationships with women moving forward? Because it makes you not want to do the big things, right? It makes you not want to step into your calling. Because every time you maybe shine or show up bigger or speak or do anything, there is the possibility of getting hurt. I know that that's what it was for me. So can you explain to me? Because I think that's what. What's stopping. A lot of what's stopping people is like, when I do blank, blank can happen. And it's like, how do we get around that? How do we replace it?

Yeah. So for me, super similar. Like, I would. I. And I know you're the same. I don't know where this comes from. I think it's just naturally inside of me also. Having all brothers, I cared so much about sisterhood. And then I also think, having been bullied, I just wanted to be liked. Like, I wanted other women to see me. I wanted to be understood. When you're going through trauma, you feel so misunderstood. So you even more so are, like, reaching out when you don't have the tools to get value and, like, worth from other people.

Oh, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So while I was like, I love. I love hanging out with women and I love sisterhood. I'm also, like, seeking for other women's approval. And at the same time, I don't want to shine too big because then they're not going to like me and they're going to leave me. And I totally dealt with that. And. And I think that everyone has. Where we have this thing where we could get jealous. And I think it's something that society has developed in us because that's not really how we're really made as women. Like, you know, you've written about this. This is like, we're supposed to be in communities. And so I think it was just a lot to navigate. And the more that I started just saying yes to myself and not being a yes for I have to be best friends with everyone, I started attracting the people in my life that I could get so big, and they're like, yes, and they're not going to leave me. But, I mean, it was a process. And I'm not going to say it's, like, super easy. There's things that you can do every single day, and once you. Once you meet that one friend, it gets easier and easier. So it's just more a matter of believing that that's possible. And for me, I was just like, this is really hard, and I feel really lonely even when I'm surrounded by all these people. But the more that I just started showing up as myself, the more, like, the people that were really meant to be in my life, the women and the friendships came in so good.

So let's try to lay a foundation for people who are listening, like, okay, where is a really great place to start? Because we are gonna get into just talking more about being in the frequency that attracts these things that you want and being a match for just all of your different desires energetically. But what do you think is a good foundation for people to start? If they're like, hey, you're talking about the past. You, like, you know, maybe you felt like a shit show. Like, that's me right now. So, like, you're like, I don't have the tools. And I'm, like, just kind of fumbling everywhere, and I want people's validation. Like, by the way, you guys, that was so me, it's not even funny. So I see you. I get you. I feel you. How do we kind of, like, calm that frenetic energy down and start a foundation of, like, you're enough. Let's focus in and, like, start focusing more internal than, like, external. And everybody wanting to like you first.

Yeah. So I know everyone talks about journaling, but I love journaling because I'm just able to get all that energy out and really get your answers. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how busy you are or what you have going on in your life. You have two minutes a day just to write some things out. And it's really been powerful for me what comes out of that. And then one thing that I've done is just getting that awareness. Like, I started to realize, oh, I am outward, like, right now. If you're like, yes, that's me. I, like, need that group of women to like me and all these things. It's like, start with the awareness. So, okay, that's you, and use your body. Like, use what we've been given by God to just be an open channel to like, pay attention to when you're feeling like a vibe or a connection with someone or you are like, are pushing it because you're like, no, I really want them to like me and everyone else likes this person. Just start like playing and experimenting, like, hey, how did I feel when I hung out with this particular group or when I went to coffee with that woman? I think when you start just like, like saying yes and treating yourself as a relationship, like you get to be your own first friend first, like really treating yourself and spending time with yourself, then you really get that empowerment where you like, feel that energy of, oh, I have my own back and I'm going to look for my energy match. And just because someone's not my energy batch doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them and there's nothing wrong with me. So for me at least, and I'd love to hear what you have to say, Lori. I think that awareness and kind of like, like now being on the lookout and using our superpower of like the intuition that we all have really starts that foundation.

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Personal development. Even like 5 to 8 to 10 years ago there was a lot of talk about like just following your gut and like oh, if it doesn't feel right, that's, that's a bad sign. And I think that for me now that that could have just been from my perspective. But I think like for me I when I would meet different people I'd be like oh I don't know, something might be weird there, they might be off and it's like no, they're just not for like that is God's way or universe's way of being like not on your path right now, like go the other way. And I think that that has freed me up so much with people because I used to try to force relationships and I'd also be like oh, maybe I'm forcing something that doesn't feel great or maybe this is going to be bad if I force it and well, yeah, I do think that's the universe's version of being like, this isn't for you right now. It could be later, it could be never, it could be whatever. But that's been super powerful now, I think, to have all this new context that's really been coming out around just exactly, literally exactly what you said. Like, does it make someone good or bad? It's just like a, hey, maybe not right now, or maybe you don't have enough energy for all of these relationships you're trying to add, so you need to go with the ones that just really expand your energy. So that's been super eye opening. And I think with women, it's like we want to carry everyone with us at all times. And you're like, you have two arms and 24 hours in a day and your husband or your partner or your parents need you too, so where's this all going to fit? And that's like, I think this kind of goes into, I think, self care and what self love is. And I'd love to just kind of hear your definition or just like what you want to tell people about what self care and self love is.

I mean, self love. I was looking up the exact numbers of how many times it's been hashtagged when I was writing the book. I don't remember the exact number and obviously it's been hashtag more since. But I was just like, if this many people were really practicing that love, the world would look so different. And I also think self love has become like this trend word where people don't really know what it means or just, you know, it's not tangible. And here. And the thing that I realized and how it was tangible for me is when I started to listen to those little, like, nudges and the awareness that we're talking about and just tiny little things like, hey, we put so much effort into finding friends, we put so much effort into dating, we put so much effort into being successful, yet we leave ourselves on the back burner. Like, literally, you're a human being, you have to have time for yourself. So I started treating myself as the same way that I would treat these big goals that I had or time with my best friends or time with my husband. So I started giving that to me and I actually felt, and this is tangible for me inside love for myself. And that's when I'm like, I want to write about this and I want to support whoever out there to start taking care of themselves. Because you can always tell the way that Someone loves themselves at the amount of self care that they give. And I don't mean like taking a bubble bath. I love bubble baths. But I'm just saying like you're not getting in the bubble bath and your life's changing but caring for yourself and actually what that means, the same way you would care for a child, the same way that you would care for someone that you care about. Like caring for yourself, not being around people that bring you down, giving yourself enough time and space to have this awareness. You really get to figure out what works for you. Just like how the morning routine became viral. And I would look at these morning routines, I'm like, oh, okay, I have to do this. But then it wouldn't work for me. That cup of coffee at 5am like that doesn't do anything for me.

But that extra two hours of sleep, that does something for me.

You and I with our sleep, I mean that's going to do it for me. So just starting to be like we're all multi, multifaceted, multidimensional, multi, all the things, energy and we get to decide what's best for us. So as soon as I started deciding what's best for me, that's when I really understood what self love was. And it's not explainable. It's something that you can actually feel in your body when you do those things.

I love that. It's actually reminding me right now I really am at my best when I just take a little bit more time to schedule a couple more things. I think for me it's not even like sometimes it's not even about the massage or like the nails or whatever that looks like. It's literally about the space where I go and I'm like me time. Like this is, it's just like space. Space for me is how I can. That feels like a form of self love. Like just time just doing not other people's agendas is like really powerful for me. And I was just. Cause I was asking myself, how do I love myself? What does that feel like for me? Talking to myself. I say to myself right now all of the time. I'm so proud of you. Wow, you did that? Scared. So freaked out. Wow, that is so cool. I talk to myself a lot right now and it feels really, really good, nurturing. Just like what you said if you were taking care of a child or this was your younger sister or something like that or someone you were mentoring. When we get that voice, that is a totally different ballgame than like you look terrible today. You're a bag of shit. You need to, like, go get your workout on. Like, loser. Like, those are thought those were old thoughts, you know?

Well, you're going through something you've never done before. That's huge. So it's like you need yourself more than ever right now. Yeah. What if your friend was going through this and starting this amazing movement and this new brand and all these things and you were just like, sorry, like. Or your partner Chris was like, not available to have a talk with you. The most important person in your life is always going to be yourself. And that's the person that you will be with forever. So you got to show up the way that you would show up for someone that you love. And even more so, so good.

So if someone doesn't know how to, like, even do this, if they're like, oh, my God, I'm doing these things and they just don't feel like it. They just don't feel like it doesn't. It's not nourishing to me. Like, what are some things that you would recommend?

Yeah. So again, it's going to be different for everyone. So maybe like, looking in the mirror, being like, I'm so proud of you, like, doesn't work for you, and that's fine. But it might work for you next year or when you're going through a different time in your life. I like to. This is how I did it. And this is what I love to tell people. Experiment with it. Yeah. All that matters is that frequency. So whatever you feel in your body, so just figure it out. Maybe it is putting on your headphones and getting your nails done and you're just. You feel like a queen and you're like, oh, my gosh, this feels so good. Like, do the things that really, really feel good. Because that, most importantly, you said it is that time for yourself. At least start with that. And then another thing that I love, and I talk about this in the book, is just figuring out your values so that whenever you're just in chaos, you're like, all right, let me pull this tool out. Like, my value is connection. So let me just jump on a five minute call for my value. Something that I feel in my body and I really connect to is adventure. So let me just run outside, go down to the beach or wherever you live. Go down, put your feet in the grass, or just go for a walk. Just so that you are telling yourself that you need something and then you're showing yourself, hey, I have your back. So when you need something, I'm going to give it to you.

Oh, God, that's so good. I can't tell you how many times, Sarah, that I've been like, okay, your North Star is fun. Your North Star is adventure. Your North Star is some space or alone time. And it's like, I'm like, okay, great, I'm gonna go and do it. And I don't schedule it. And I'm like, then I get even more mad at myself. And I'm like, okay, it's the times where I actually get really intentional and, okay, I wanna know how this is for you and how to get through this. Sometimes it feels harder to do that. And it actually feels like I can talk myself out of doing it because I'm like, is that really what I want? That sounds hard. I'll just stay in. Tell me about that.

Okay. So for me, my experience with that was I would do that all the time. Like, it's like, oh, no. Then there's another, like, event to go to or another meeting or. And then I'm like, I'll get through it. And I just kept saying no to myself every time. That's how I started looking at it. I'm saying no to myself when I do that, and then it's coming out in other areas. All these things that I do work so hard for all the people that I care about. I'm not showing up up for them. I'm not showing up for myself. I feel like shit. So I just started to realize, like, when I do that, I essentially say no to myself. And I know it's so difficult, especially, like, at least for me. And you said it, like, connection, fun and joy. I think for a lot of women, and I know for you and I, Laurie, like, that's actually what's going to make us our best. But sometimes, like, when you're scrolling Instagram and you're seeing all these things and you get into, like, the comparison, you're like, no, I actually have to go, like, like, like, like launch something. I have to go do this thing. And so for a while, I was in that energy and I started realizing and journaling, like, why am I in this energy? And it was. It pointed back to, like, oh, you don't think you're enough. Like, you, like, you're in scarcity. Like, if you don't do this, then it's not gonna be good enough. And so I just questioned myself, like, why? And then everyone's answer's gonna be different. Like, why do I keep doing this to myself? And then I Made a promise that I could keep, is that I'm just gonna stop saying no to myself.

It's so good. You really do have to reframe what that is. What are the sentences you say after the occurrence happens? And it's kind of that or when that choice needs to be made. And it's the realization of what you were saying to that thing. So maybe. Cause I can put myself in that same position. I've definitely been there. Instead of I'm saying no to myself, which is the new thing that you. I was saying, oh, if I'm not there, I'll be missing out on something or I'll be irrelevant or I will. People won't be interested in connecting with me. They'll all go on a friends trip and I won't be invited. Or it's all of these different things that now I can now use. No. I'm saying no to myself and the things that I do want to be doing. It's like sometimes just knowing what you're replacing because I wasn't even aware of what I was saying around those things. It was just like, no, this is. I had a phrase before of. Cause I had a couple people say it, especially in Los Angeles. It's like, you have to be at these things if you want to do what you're doing. If you want to be a podcaster, influencer, getting out there, speaker, you need to be at all of these places. And I do think there is some relevance. Relevancy.

Right?

That's a word. Yeah. To that. I think there's a part of your career that you have to. I would love your opinion on that and your take on that, which it's kind of like, I don't want to say mine yet, but I'm trying to like figure out. I don't know anyone who hasn't built something that they, that they're really proud of without a bit of like doing a lot of the things they don't want to do or a bit of hustle or getting out there. Like, I know that there's give and take, but I feel like I would be be lying terribly if I told people they didn't kind of have to do things like that.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So that's also like the place that you're coming from. I'll share two things because I'm kind of in that now with the book. I want this book to be out here, out there because I know how much it's going to be life altering and just really supportive. So. And I also, like, as a huge journey, like, I also get to do my part and show the book love and be out there talking about it because I also are people going to get into their hands? So but before that, my intention was more like I got really caught up in that LA life that was like, you have to be at this thing and blah, blah, blah. And like, so I was just like going, going, going and not really thinking about like the intention behind it. And then I noticed that I wasn't my best self. Like, I noticed that I was actually like not showing up as those things with like the energy that I needed. So ultimately it just wasn't working out for me in that way. So then I just started being like, if I know that I'm in a place where my, I'm like screaming, you need space. Then I'm not going to go. And I'm just going to remind myself that if this was like my like ticket, like if I didn't go to this party and then nothing was going to work, that's not going to happen. Whatever's meant for you will like move mountains to be with you. So that's literally why I tell myself. And then even as things like start opening up and there's going to be more and more of that, like I'm going to continue to live the way that I've been living now because it's just so much more in alignment and with the book, because there's a lot going on. I schedule in that self care and time for myself. So I make that just as important as anything that I'm scheduling for. Like, I don't know if I have a bunch of interviews one day, then the next day I have like half the day with myself. And that's, that's been amazing.

It's such a good reminder because you're doing the work and you're paying attention. So it's like, yes, you're probably gonna have moments where you're like, okay, maybe it's, you know, maybe I'm starting to feel a little tired. But this is a great opportunity. So if I want this, I'm also going to schedule this to make sure that I get some good downtime afterward. Like that's kind of the, like the conversation that I'm having now is like, great opportunity, kind of pushing my limits right there. And I'm gonna take this Saturday and I'm unplugging from literally everything. So that's kind of what's going on new in my mind. That's helping a lot Because I would love to hear your thought on this. Because I'm kind of like, I'm using this phrase. Like, I don't. I should know the phrase I'm using all the time. Like, I'm using this amazing phrase, everyone. That's my mantra right now that I forgot. It's like, that doesn't have to be my story. Like, I'm not. I don't. Like, I'm not a fit for that story or I'm not the match for that story. Where it's like, right now, it's like, in order for my company to be successful, I have to be burnt out. My house is gonna go downhill. I won't get to see my friends. I have to hustle 24 7. I have to work until, you know, from what I've heard, two in the morning, like, in Sarah, that's not gonna work for me. I. I go to bed at 9. I need to sleep. So that's kind of my mantra. I'm working extremely hard. And I also want to create a new story for myself of, you can build this while also taking care of yourself. So what's kind of been replaced for you about that old kind of story and paradigm into where you're at now?

Honestly, I love that you said that. Cause that's where I'm at too. And I think it's important that we start changing that narrative, because I think that's also the way that we've heard it, the way that we've seen it done. And there's tons of different ways. There's not one way. So I love that you're doing that. Because I also like the people that look to you or anyone out there that wants to build anything or have these relationships. They're just going with the old story that we all were taught. So the thing that I love is that I want to have that new story too. Not only do I want to have it for myself, because I know it's possible. I want to be a part of shifting things for women. I want to be a part of, like, when you're this amazing founder that, like, you don't have to be burned out all the time and not have everything else in your life. And I know that to be true. And one of the things that I know for sure, and I'm learning as I go, is the time that you give with yourself. And then you'll be able to sustain everything else that you're building and not be burned out. And that doesn't mean not working hard. It's Just working differently.

Oh, that is. I think the amount of no that I have said is like, it's been one of the hardest things that I've ever done and it's the most rested and excited I've felt. And it is exactly what you said. It's like, oh, God, it's hard to say no, especially here's what happens, right? The more that you get out there, which is all what we want, you want to get the book out there, you want to get the message out there, because you know what it's going to do for people, it's going to help them get out there once they resonate with the message and understand it and learn it. And so the more that you get into your highest self, the more of a freaking magnet you are. And everybody wants to connect with you. And when I say everybody, it doesn't matter if it's over five people. Your life is already busy, okay? Because we've got families, partners, friends, all of these things. So the amount of people that want to start connecting with you or have an interview or just do all of these little things that seem little, but. But it's like, I even think about, you know, you're probably getting asked to write a lot of articles right now, and you're like, oh, that's easy. Actually, it could be three or four hours right there. And then that could mean not talking to your partner that night or a walk that you really need. So it's like the amount of no's that you have to say and the amount of effort that goes in in the beginning to saying no sometimes starts to feel harder than just saying yes and being pissed at your yes and being resentful of the person because you're used to that. You're already used to being pissed and saying yes and being resentful. But the. How do we get better at the no? Sarah, like, what are you saying? Especially if it's like, people that you like a great opportunity or people that you really want to hang with, or like, how do you get clear on that?

Oh my gosh, this is. I feel like this is a work in progress always. And I started noticing that because also, even when I was done with the book, I almost had no content left in me. Like, I'm like, I can't. I can't write an article. It could have been easy last year, but I have no words right now. Just giving myself that compassion and being like, okay, like, I'm a human being. Like, don't be so hard on yourself. I just, for Me, I'm just reminding myself that just because you can't do one thing or you have to say no to these 10 things, like that doesn't mean that's not going to dictate the way that things play out for you. It's just that reminder. And then also when it's people that you love, that's so difficult. Like. Like, it's so difficult. And so for me right now, I'm just sharing where I'm at, practicing sharing where I'm at and saying that I don't have that space right now. And it's hard. Like, I saw that I did this two weeks ago with my family, and I've never had a boundary like that with what we're talking about. We're talking about planning my mom's birthday and I was like, hey, I want to plan this. And so it's either going to be me and my team planning it it, or I can hand it over to you guys and not be involved at all. And I will be there celebrating.

Yeah.

As far as, like, big opportunities, though, it's like you can't go on every single show or write every single article. So just asking myself, like, what's the one I've really been dreaming of? Or what would be the most fun? I really like to point my compass right now into what's going to be the most fun, because then I know that I'm going to be able to show up better if I do that.

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Okay, so I want to get into frequency, energy Matches all of those things. This is like such a hot topic at all times. It will be for the rest of time because there is so much to be said about, you know, we can do all the different actions, we can do all the different strategy, we can think that we need to be close to this group of people or you know, do these things. But it really is about like what's going on to your internal magnet, internal compass. So tell me, tell me a little bit about that and how you just how you make it all kind of like work for you.

Yeah, so I love all things like frequency and energy and that's another reason why it's so important with our self care and everything that we've been talking about this whole time is because that affects our energy, that affects our aura, that affects our frequency, that affects like how we can attract things to us and also be on the vibes of the people that, that the same vibe as the vibration, as the people that, you know, that we feel drawn to. So that's one of the reasons that I just love to pay attention to my energy and also just be vibrating the highest possible and taking care of myself. Because I also want to be a light for other people. Like I don't want to show up. That's what I realized. I don't want to show up at a party or any of these things and be like totally in my shit. And that's going to affect other people. Right, Right. So just paying attention to that, doing all the things that we were talking about in general. And I also think the way that I was able to kind of realize like which energies or frequency that I'm drawn to is again that awareness. So if I was leaving conversations and feeling not lit up and feeling like more low, I realized, hey, I'm not going to keep saying yes to going to lunch with this person. Nothing against them. I think it was, I think it changed when I stopped putting judgment like, like, oh, that means something about them or that means like I should trust myself. Like red flag. It's not a red flag. We're just not on the same frequency. So the best thing that I personally think is if you pay attention to your energy and make that so important, all the people that you're supposed to be around are just going to show up.

Oh, it's so good. So how do we start to like. Because in the beginning it can feel like jumbled, right? Like you're like, I'm not sure if this is, is fear of something. I'm not sure if this Is nerves. I don't know. I mean, for me in the beginning it was like it was differentiate. Trying to differentiate between like anxiety, nerves, newness, like all of the things. So how did you start to like hone in on what to even pay attention to?

Yeah, so I have a few things I could share. How about like when you just want to do all these different things and then like all like the things come in your mind with the fear or the anxiety or the excitement. So I would write down like right now, if there's five things that you keep thinking about or five things that you want to do, whatever it is, I would write those down and then ask yourself, like, what has been standing in your way or what is this energy that keeps coming up? Because I think when you ask yourself and you write it down, you'll figure out if it's fear, if it's excitement, or if you're just like lost and you don't know what to do. That makes sense. So it's like taking yourself through some steps and getting it out of your brain or out of your body where it's like, what is this crazy? And just writing it down and being like, oh, hey, I want to write a book is all the things that I feel about it. Is that fear? Nope, not fear. Okay, what is it? Oh, I just don't know the next three steps. And this is like literally a 10 minute exercise, maybe five minutes on each thing that you're thinking about.

Yeah, we just don't take time to do that. Yeah, it's crazy how often we just look at the surface level and we try to fix what's on the surface, but it's literally impossible to fix what's on the surface without actually going to the root cause of the thing. So for you, I know that you have one of the things that we always used to talk about is just big dreams, aspirations, what it feels like to be your highest self and just kind of that next level and just to like become that woman and that person that you're here to be. So how do you try to get into the energy of the thing that is either like you're. I know that we can be so grateful for what we have and desire more. How do you try to get. Be grateful for what you have, but to get into that energy of already feeling like you have the thing that you want and attracting. So really, how do you create a life where you manifest all the things you want? I know that I've just seen so many great things that have come to you like a magnet in the past few years. How did you create that for yourself?

Yeah, so one thing that Josh and I do is every night before we go to bed, we actually, like, repeat thank you out loud. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. It shifts your energy. Even if you did it right now, you can't help it. It just shifts your energy. So we'll just say thank you for all the things that we do have. And then I visualize. I. I love visualization. Like, I'm say that, right? I'm like, I love just picturing myself, like, picturing myself in whatever room or doing whatever it is that I want to do. And then I have those feelings, and then I also picture what it's able to do for other people. So it's not just about me. It also has, like, more of, like, the meat to it because it's just. It's not just about me. And that's where you really. At least for me, like, that's where I actually, my body feel that, like, vibration that I feel that frequency. And things start getting attracted to you because it's not just about you. You ate. You're able to experience these things. You deserve to experience the things that are on your heart. And what else is it going to do? It's not just like, I want to do fill in the blank just because, yeah, that's amazing, and you get to have that experience, but what is it also going to do for the world? And that's where you get to work with vibration and frequency and have that be attracted to you faster and happen like a magnet.

Oh, it's so good. I did visualization all the time for so long. And I have to tell you, what happened with, like, starting this new company is I wasn't around enough people at the time to try to figure out what. What my possibilities were in this new realm. So I couldn't visualize it because I kind of. I've learned about myself that I have to see it, like, personally or find an example for me to then kind of play with. What does that look like? Like, maybe I had to, like, one of the things I did was I was like, oh, I love that Sarah Blakely doesn't seem burnt out as, like, you know, this incredible founder of Spanx. So I started kind of, like, looking at her life more and being like, what does. What does that look like in actual reality? So I can start, like, picturing my life. Like, what things do I donate my time and energy to? That feel really good and lit up and how do I also live this life? So I didn't actually even understand. This is the first time it's ever happened to me. I'm actually consider myself to be the queen of being able to visualize, insert myself anywhere and be like, yes, I feel it. I'm attracting it. And I struggled this whole last year of. I feel a little lost. I don't know how to get back into magnet mode. And then for someone who likes doing it, then you're like, oh, my God, I've lost it. I don't know how to visualize. And it was a reminder that if you guys don't know how to do this, sometimes you just have to see an example. If you want to watch a graceful book launch right now, go watch Sarah's stuff. If you want to see what that could potentially look like without maybe feeling crazy, burnt out, or scared out of your mind, maybe go watch somebody to be able to picture what that could look like. So then you can insert yourself, put your own self into this picture that's kind of being created out in reality. And that's been super, super helpful. But I'm so glad that you brought that up, because I think it's one of the most important tools that we can ever possibly do is just visualize how you want it to go. Like, even if you've got a night out with people and you're like, have. It's crazy, but it's not. It's like having intentions for every single thing that we do and visualizing things how we want to go. And I know that you and I, one of the main reasons we first came together was we both had events, like, large women's features events. And what did you do before those events? I'm sure you visualize, like, how did that come together? Was a lot of that visualization?

Yeah. Because it's also like, yes, you get to become a magnet and all of those things, but you also, like, are almost like, tricking your mind when you're talking about the fear and anxiety that you were talking about earlier, like, which I had with speaking so terribly. Visualization, yes. It becomes having you have. Being able to have things attracted and just flow to you. But also it really helps with your healing. It helps with your fear and anxiety, because then your body thinks they've already done it. Like, that's the thing that I love. And I did that my first event. I don't. You weren't at my first event. I think you were at the second one. But the first one I was terrified of Public speaking. I never thought I would ever be on a stage. I wasn't even gonna, I wasn't even gonna go up on stage and talk. Like I literally wasn't going to. I had a one minute like thank you for coming planned. And for two weeks I would have nightmares about it and be like, wake up with my hands sweating.

Yep. So.

And now I go on stages and I'm like, you know, I love it. I definitely of course, like get nervous. But for that I was so terrified and I started just picturing myself on stage. So then when I actually got on the stage, because I knew where the event was, I knew what the stage looked like, it felt like, oh, I've done this before. So it was easier. And I was able to step into that fear. And it just kept getting easier and easier. Because when you turn away from a fear fear, you're going to magnetize that fear and get more and more scared. But if you actually take a tiny step or do the visualization practices you have it become, it's not going to be a fear anymore. But anytime we run from something, we actually like magnetize the fear even more.

That is such a good reminder. Yes. And that's so true, you guys. The more you can visualize, the more you actually experience it in your body. Your body can't tell the difference between being there and not it. If I remember, Jack Canfield always used to say this when we would go to some of his trainings. He'd be like, close your eyes and picture you're on the edge of the building and slowly creep up and really picture you're at the edge of this giant skyscraper. You can make your heart race, you can start sweating just like you said. And you're experiencing it. You actually have viscerally experienced it. And then it's kind of like telling yourself, you're safe right now, this is okay. You can make it through even if you fall flat on your face. Well, don't picture jump off the building. But if you're on stage, even if you fall flat on your face, like it's not, nothing is a big deal anymore. Like if you pass out on stage, you get up and you say, hey, I bet all you would have passed out up here too. I'm, I'm gonna continue. Like it's okay. Like I. That's why that's one great thing that social media has done is it's just like, guys, you can't do anything that hasn't been like seen before or shock anyone. And we're all Human. And we prefer to see the human side. So you might actually be liked better if you totally eff it up. So a.

And then it's like, oh, okay. Like, you have people feel so much better. You feel better. Like, trying to chase perfect. I think I've did that too, because trying to just wanted people to like me.

Yep.

But yeah, and that's why we even do the thank yous, because that's where it gets into your body too. And I've even done this with healing. Like, I've gone back and actually, like, nurtured myself and like, tapped on my shoulders, tapped on my legs, and re visualized the experience happening the way that I wish that it would have also been really powerful for healing.

That's so good.

I think I can go back and do that a couple times for some things. Yeah, for sure. Okay. I'm so excited about your book. So just tell me one thing about your book that you just, like, maybe that you're loving or a message that's coming from it that you weren't expecting or just like, how are you feeling right now about it?

I'm really excited to see it in people's hands. I feel like it's been such a journey. And for me, the thing I'm most excited about is, of course, it's inspirational. And there's practical tips and tools, like things that you could get started on literally for two minutes a day. But it also has the science behind things. And so I'm just really excited for everyone to have this in their hands and start saying yes to themselves and really know what it feels like to have a relationship with yourself and then watch everything else around you just start becoming so beautiful. And there's. There's just. When I have the book in my hands, I feel this frequency with it, and I'm really excited about that.

I love that you guys literally have to go and get this book. Everything that we just talked about literally in the book. And I am obsessed with frequency. I'm obsessed with energy, because it works. Everything that you just said is exactly the tools that I have actually, step by step, tangibly done in my life life. To create literally anything, all the relationships, to get through the tough stuff, to get through the muck, to go. To go on this journey, because it's gonna be a journey. And I'm sure you're in the middle of the journey, and to have the tools to be able to, like, really work through it is all in here. And I know you created it more as, like, a guide that they can just pick up whenever they want. So it's not something you even have to sit straight through. You can go to your topic and just reread, re download, re get the tools that you need for your life. So where can they get the books, Sarah?

Beautifullybravebook.com and then of course, anywhere that you buy your books, it'll be there. But you can head over to beautifullybravebook.com and I'm so excited for you to have it. Yay.

I'm so excited. And you guys, what I'm gonna do is we are going to give away 10 books from this podcast. So if you upload your story on Instagram, so just take a little screenshot of the podcast right now. You guys all know how to do it. You do it anyway. Take a screenshot of this podcast. Podcast. Tag Sarah. Tag myself Sarah. Where should they tag you at?

At Sarah Pendrick.

Tagarah Pendrick. Tag myself and let her know what your biggest takeaway was from this podcast. And the first 10 that I see, I'm going to send out her book too. So you guys were so excited to see who's listening to see who's going to be reading the books, all of the things. So, yeah, you have her handle. You have all the things. And until next time, you guys earn your happy bye, everyone.